Sure. So I took that as being from the Lord. So I'm thinking through it of like, okay, so apparently
the way I wrote the details isn't how it's supposed to work. And it needs to work a little different.
So, I mean, cause I was, I was looking to, I was, I spent a few hours on it, you know,
make sure that everyone had all the information they needed. Hey Steph, being sure everyone had
all the deals that they would need to be able to make informed decisions about what it is they
didn't want to do and the, and the amount of money for accommodations and all that good stuff.
And, and it, and the file got corrupted. I'm like, how does that happen? I mean,
like literally within minutes, I closed the laptop, went upstairs, opened the laptop,
said files corrupted. I'm like, okay, Lord. Okay. I had to think through it a little bit
and like, try to recover it. And it, and I could never figure out how to recover it.
And, and cause I've worked with corrupted files before, you know, for, for years for, you know,
how to uncorrupt them and whatever. Nope. So I don't have to kind of start all over. So anyway,
so nothing's up, but yeah, I plan to do it. And then there's like three phases I'm going to do.
I'm going to do it like all, maybe like within a day of each other mentioned it's the rest intensive.
And then I'm going to, cause I want to give them the first, well, I say that I'm the way that I
have it set up or really don't have to do them first. That's true. I do them at the same time
because I'm offering them a, something, something special. And then, and then after that so,
so because I'm not offering that same special thing to people that I'm going to post the details
about to on my personal page, then I can post that same. There's a good special group that I
said that, Hey, if you, if you let me know that you're interested, then I, when I first announced
the save the date on my personal page, I said, if you let me know you're interested, I'll make sure
that you're the first people that get to know about all the information. And so then I'll
mention it to them probably at the same time that I do rest intensive, cause those are two different
deals, so to speak two different details. And so they won't, they won't they won't conflict,
but then at the same time. Yeah, I'll do them at the same time because their accommodations
and their deals don't conflict. And I had to think through that just now. And then the day
after though, I left the, the people who let me know that they were interested on my personal
page the day after I, I posted all the information to them to get them approximately 12, 24 hours to,
to make their choice first, then I'll post it to everybody. So, but I've already gotten a lot
of interest. And so I'm excited about that. So we will just see, I've already gotten more interest
than I was expecting. And so food, food, so the food Scott was busy. And so everyone is,
is going to take care of their own food, but I am going to provide some catering options to bring
stuff in where I just have it. I have it delivered and everyone has anybody who would like it signs
up, pay for it. And I'm going to, I'm going to have them do it before they get there so that I
can have all the stuff and I'm not in the middle of doing that kind of thing. And then I'll have
like a friend or a family member of mine and help me during the event. So I don't have to
think about it. So I'm trying to set up as much as possible beforehand so that during the thing,
if I can just have a family member, like make sure that to call so-and-so the day of and make
sure that they're still on schedule to deliver all of this stuff I knew. Firehouse subs, like
firehouse subs does a half a sub, a chip and a drink. I mean, so it's like, there are a lot of.
Yeah, exactly. See stuff like that. I was thinking things like the subway or Jimmy Don's or fire
subs or, or like Chipotle or, you know, just something like that. And then, so some places
that already have catering so-called baked into their catering options and setting all this up
before I even get there and the scheduling, which day and which lunch. So the closer that it gets,
I'll have people sign up as opposed to, and then send me the money. So it's all done beforehand.
And then if they don't want to do that, that's fine. I'm letting everyone know that the, that
all of their accommodations on site have kitchen. They have their own refrigerator. They can go to
their grocery store on their own or bring their own stuff on the airplane, whatever they want to do.
So that's why I'm doing it. Cause Scott was busy and it ends up being fine, you know, to.
to provide people this opportunity to not have to provide their own food. They'll still pay for it.
I'll coordinate it, but it does have to be before we even get on site. So I'm doing it that way. So
it'll provide people with an option, you know, to make it easier on them, but in order to take
advantage of the easier, it needs to be done before we all get together. So anyway, so that
is the plan. Yeah. But yeah, I thought that was kind of interesting about the file. So I'll get,
I'll get it out pretty, I'll get it out soon. Well, and then at what point, like if we just
have somebody who we think would like to come, I mean, when are they allowed to sign up?
Okay. Yes. So as soon as I wanted to make sure that you knew that to make sure that,
that, that people feel free to invite whoever they want to. The only special thing is that
I have the coordinations for those, for three cabins and in the lodge, but then everything else
is, you know, booked the way you and I discussed this, you know, and other options.
Yeah. Yeah. And so therefore that can just, as soon as I publish it on my personal page,
you know, people are people in the rest intensive are already talking to family members and friends
that they want to bring, you know, and so, I mean, you could do the same with your,
with people that, you know, that you typically reach out to that like,
that like conferences at your place. You're welcome to do that. I don't have any restrictions
on any of that. Do you have a schedule and a syllabus of what things you're going to cover?
No, not yet. I was, that was the thing after the, after getting out the details about the
accommodations and the, and the registration, all of that, then I was going to, I don't want to
mention too much about what I'm going to do. I can mention some things, but there are a few
things that are like the, my standard stuff that I cover that I can go ahead and, and, and, and,
you know, post and tell people because that's already stuff that I already have together,
but there are some special new things that the rest intensive, even the rest intensive people
don't know about and the rest intensive people haven't heard me speak on that I want to do,
but that stuff, I'm still kind of planning about which of those things I'm going to add, but like
the majority, like I, I would have enough to be able to tell other people what I'm doing, you know,
like it's all my normal stuff. Doing the dream book thing or have you not thought that far? Oh, I, I
really appreciate you sending that to me. No, I am, I, I'm not going to do that, but I mean,
I thought it was a great idea and it's a really, really neat resource. That's just not the direction
that I'm going to go with it, but I haven't quite figured out everything that, how exactly it is
that it's that and everything's going to work, but I do have a particular direction. Okay. And so,
yeah, but thank you so much for saying that. I thought that that was really, that, that was a
really, really good idea. That was really neat that you had that, that you've been to a conference
that provided that. It's really suited you to like mock it up and send it to me. I'm not doing the,
I'm not going to let anybody have the bunks so that if you end up getting more people,
you will know that you've got that option. Oh, okay. All right. Well, I hate for you to have
to do that, but that's not, that's not something we normally, that really is more conference-y stuff.
So yeah, so it's not a big deal. Okay. All right. Okay. Well, good. Hey, Misty.
Okay. So does anyone have anything that we could, that, that they wanted to start us off with
for tonight? Any questions or anything?
Everybody come on for hoping somebody else to have a question.
I don't know. I could, there's something I could start us off with.
So I would ask you, how are you, is meditation part of what you do?
Um, no, I have talked about it. Oh, you mean me personally? I have done meditation. Yes.
But I haven't talked about it in, I don't know, six, eight months in the rest intensive.
So it was, yes, that was like probably April, probably the first group that I mentioned some
stuff about meditation. Um, but, uh, and it's probably like an, an old Q and a, um, from April,
but I know I,
I haven't, I haven't done much meditation.
The, the only thing that I talk about related to meditation
is, is getting the noise to stop.
There are a few, a few different things,
a few different, a few different like modalities
or whatever methods of doing the meditation
that I recommend.
And the whole purpose of them
is to practice quieting the noise,
which gets us practice in,
in stopping being driven so much
by the external and making willful, intentional decisions.
And so that's what I talked about related to meditation.
It was things like how to stop thinking thoughts.
And then, and then I think that there was something
that I did and I'd have to remember
something that I did related to thoughts.
Oh, that's what it was related to thoughts
where you allow thoughts to come up
and you just kind of watch them and you don't judge them.
And that's another exercise of how to,
how to expose your, how to teaching us to not be afraid
of ourselves.
And it's not that we like everything that comes up
and it's not that everything that comes up
is beautiful and godly and whatever,
but it's to, to not be afraid of them
and to realize that we're above them.
And we can choose that we're seated in heavenly places
and that our seat of our identity is in our spirit.
And so, as opposed to being so afraid
that we, of experiencing a thought
and feeling threatened by it.
So it kind of gives us practice of being exposed
to something without, and practice not being triggered
to feeling threatened.
So I have that one as well,
but that's a very long time ago.
So, and there might've been something
about focusing on the Lord.
Some of it though, I mentioned, in the very first one,
the love affair of seeing Jesus come
and sitting and visiting with us
and then just looking him directly in the eye.
That's really a meditation in a way
because you're focusing, you're focusing on him.
And so, that's one that I've kept
and I've continued to talk about.
The other ones I haven't talked about much.
I did in, like I said, a Q and A,
I think being someone asked me a question,
is meditation okay?
What part of it, how could you do meditation
in a safe way where you're not inviting
and exposing yourself to evil spirits?
You're exposing yourself instead of to the Lord.
How do you protect yourself?
How do you do meditation within the blood
as opposed to just like through another gateway?
So that's what I talked about related to meditation.
And those things really did help me in the beginning
when I was first learning to shift more into rest.
Practically, like in my daily life,
those types of meditations really did help
because it taught me how to gain,
I don't wanna say control, but intention.
Take back control of myself and directing my intention
as opposed to being victim to my feelings
or a thought that came to me
or the noise of my environment.
But to choose to, mm-mm, doesn't matter.
I'm my own individual and I can choose.
It taught me choice, taught me how to take back
my own control of my own intention.
So I suppose it would be a good teaching to do.
I hadn't thought about that.
So I'm glad you brought it up.
Yeah.
Hey Alana.
Hi.
So just saying, does anyone have anything else?
I don't know, I'm trying to think,
but I've been talking to people about this week.
Things come up.
I would say like most things have been pretty good.
I have noticed this week,
I don't know why, but my pain has been a little bit worse.
And I actually, you know what?
I know what part of it is.
I was just thinking,
cause I'm like, there's a root to this.
I've been worried about my daughter.
She's five, for those of you that don't know, and she's been struggling with mental health stuff.
She's so joyful. 90% of the time, the happiest little girl in the world, 10% of the time,
she sinks really low. She's so sad. She can't get out of it. She gets angry. She is frustrated.
She's a perfectionist in a lot of ways. She gets really frustrated with herself when she doesn't
do something right. She likes to control. She wants things to look a certain way. I know she's
five, but she's stronger in these areas than I've noticed in a lot of other kids. I could say to her,
Avea, stop it. She thinks that's shouting. She starts to cry. She beats herself up. She hides
in the corner. She's so down. It's usually about something that's worthy of me speaking to her
like that, which is not very often. The other day, I was really struggling. I don't think she knows
what this means fully, but she said she was really sad. She said, Mommy, I don't even want to live.
Like I said, I don't think she fully understands what that means,
but she just gets down like that. I've struggled. I contacted a counselor that I know so I could
talk to her about it. I have an appointment with her. Then I contacted a children's center here
in my city that was referred by my MD. It's like they help kids that are struggling a little bit.
I contacted them, but part of me wonders if it's some kind of generational thing because I know
I've historically had some of these tendencies for sure. I don't know if I'm supposed to pray
away this generational thing. I love her to pieces. We treat her well. She's never been
abused. She's never been hurt. She's just loved so much. I don't think it's necessarily something
we're doing wrong, although we have blind spots. I'm open to hearing if I could do something better,
but at the same time, I feel like there's a big spiritual element. I want to know how to
help her. I think you're right. Something like that from a little five-year-old
is when you said it, that's something that a lot of times, and I'm not trying to make this
sound very, very scary because there are ways for us to deal with it because we're spirit.
The reason why those are the types of things that the demonic whispers to children,
whispers to people, but a phrase like that, that a child doesn't understand
what they're saying, something like that is there are things that the demonic can whisper
whispers to people, regardless of how old or young they are. They can even do it to children
that can't even articulate themselves, even in words. Before they've learned to speak,
they can hear these whispers in their body and their emotions respond. You can watch children,
even in hospitals, dip down. They're like babies because they're listening to things because we're
more than what we can funnel through our and articulate through our consciousness. Anyway,
I didn't want to scare you with that. The point is we're above that and we can take authority in
that. In other words, you're right. It's not natural. That's not wrong. The good thing is,
yes, it can be a generational thing about something that's carried through in the DNA
or whatever, but still it is spiritual and it can be dealt with spiritually. You as a parent
have spiritual authority in your home and can take in the spirit, you can take that authority
and take that position intentionally. You have it, but you have to take it intentionally
and over your child and whatever. I've had experience with children in my life that I
would be around and I would take authority when I would babysit them.
because they would talk about the fact they would be afraid because monsters would come out.
Or they would talk to me in the daylight about, oh, monsters that come and visit them.
I'm like, oh, really?
You know, what do these monsters look like? And they would describe them to me.
They would tell me what the monsters would tell them. And so it depends on the child.
It depends on what's going on. Sometimes the monsters could very well be angels
because the children don't seem afraid of them.
And either it could be a demon making themselves very familiar to the child,
or it could be an angel.
And the fact that I mean, there's a reason why adults had to be told,
do not be afraid, you know, when they would see an angel.
So in other words, and so that's why the kids aren't afraid.
But the only thing they could think of is like, well, it didn't look like a human.
You know, so the thing is that they get visited by
by we all did. I did when I was a child.
Now I didn't see anything, but I could hear things and I could feel things.
And it wasn't until I was an adult that I realized those footsteps
I was hearing, hearing on the carpet were spiritual.
And in fact, you can alter using the rest intensive.
She and I used to sleep in the same room.
We were really little from like, well, I say that actually, you know, or her loss.
But there was particularly a room that I was thinking of that we shared
for like seven years.
And we and neither one of us ever talked about the fact until maybe like a year
or two ago that we both heard footsteps on the carpet at night.
I thought it was in my imagination as a child.
She thought it was in hers until just a couple of years ago
when we compared stories and like, wait just a second.
So, I mean, the point is that you can take
that as an adult now realizing that when I when I babysit children
and they start telling me about the fact that they're afraid,
even if they don't tell me they're afraid, I I take spiritual authority
before when I put them into it, when I put them to bed,
before I leave them alone or whatever.
And, you know, because I have the spiritual authority
to be able to declare that angels come in and protect them,
to call them forth and to protect them.
And anyway, so the thing is, it's not anything to be afraid of.
I just wanted to give what I think might very well be what's going on.
It's very normal.
I mean, I'm not saying I'm not making it light.
I'm just saying that is very usual.
We're not aware of the spiritual activity that goes on in all of our lives,
including with children.
And so therefore, being very aware of it, we can be intentional about it.
Like, OK, this is what I declare is going to happen.
Not in fear. It's like, oh, my goodness, I hope I can take authority.
Absolutely not.
We come in and we expect it to happen because we say so.
And and then just leave it and then just leave it like that.
If we come into those situations without fear and with intentionality,
it will obey us because it's meant to.
And there's no reason for us to come in like all of this demanding all this,
you know, yelling down and spiritually demanding fire and brimstone.
That is someone who feels threatened and afraid that unless they work up
enough emotion and they talk loud enough and forcefully enough,
it's not going to happen.
Hogwash, we shift into who it is that we are in our identity
and in our authority, and we speak with that authority
and we expect it to be done because we've we've intended it to.
So it's and you will notice a shift.
I noticed it with the children that I babysat.
Children, I prayed over whatever.
There was a very distinctive shift with them
that they were because I just took the authority.
So like I said, it's nothing to be afraid of because of who it is
that we are.
The thing is that we have to realize who it is that we are and speak from that
place and that everything's taken care of because it's supposed to.
It's best to work according to those laws.
So, yeah. Yeah.
So then if that's the case, because I love that, what
what do you think would be best for me to kind of.
Like shift into exactly or say
or to her or out loud with her or in my head or what do you think?
Well, it would just be things such as, you know, understanding first,
you know, shifting into our identity, recognizing and acknowledging
who it is that you are and and that and that God is everything
that he says that he is and expanding yourself internally,
expanding yourself into to receive that and to stand in that place
without having to think in your head, OK, wait a minute.
OK, so what are the what's the list?
OK, God says he's righteous. God says he's holy.
You don't need you don't need to like go through all of those things
if you need to in order to kind of like shift into, OK, what direction
is my mind going or what direction?
What is it that I'm supposed to believe?
But but once you really kind of have that place, you just shift into,
no, I'm going to receive it.
I'm going to choose it.
And now I can start acting like it without having to articulate to yourself
what it is that you're believing.
I'm believing I'm righteous. I'm believing God is this, that, and the other.
You just know, this is who I am. And I have, I'm anchored in that.
And it's from that position that I can, uh, you can, um, ask the, you know, ask the angels
to come in. And this is what I do with children.
I do, I do pray it out loud, uh, as you know, ask the angels to come in and it's around
you and, and protect you and to fill the room with light and, you know, all of the things
that, that kids like, and they're really pleasant. Oh, you know, give you, give you good dreams
and tuck you in. And I don't know, just things that make them
feel very calm. But it, but when I'm saying all those things,
the position of my heart is I'm giving the angels direction and I, and I, and, um, and
it's, and I'm not, not as if I'm separate as if I'm like, um, oh, well, I'm hoping they're
going to do it. No, I'm giving them intentional direction.
Always in a very honoring way because angels are to be honored.
We're not like dictators demanding to them what it is that they do and don't need to,
because that's not how, that's not how a godly King who looks like our father acts.
We always honor that, honor those things. But at the same time, we, we give them direction.
They're not going to, they're not going to rebel against us.
They were sent to service and they delight to do so.
And so we honor them and then just get them direction, like, you know, it, um, in the
intention of our heart, you know, okay, we'll surround them and do this and do that.
And then we'll, you know, I, you know, declare certain things like, um, yeah, I talk, I speak
over them sometimes say, you know, you are not going to be afraid tonight.
You are going to have nothing but pleasant dreams.
You are going to, as opposed to, so in other words, you hear everything I'm talking about
is positive as opposed to, oh, well, you know, any monsters come, well, then this is
what's going to happen.
And I can, I command that no monsters come in here and no, you know, there's no need
to be talking about all of the negatives, no need to be focusing on the negative and
battling it with enough light and enough truth that pushes out the darkness.
Um, so the only thing I would say is if, when you're doing all of that, if there's a part
of you in the sensitivity of the spirit, if you think that you're struggling, um, to if,
uh, how would I read that?
You're struggling to believe it.
You're struggling to choose it without battling it.
Then I, I have, and I've done this myself before.
If I realize, you know what, for some reason, my faith is struggling and I need to give
it a bit of a, a bit of help, then I do face the darkness and I tell it that it has no
right.
And I don't say that loud because I don't want to scare the kids, but intentionally
I do, or I say to my head or, or whatever.
Um, but that is kind of like a tool for myself.
If for whatever reason I'm struggling and I need a bit of help, then I grab a tool of
spiritual warfare and I tell them, look, I'm standing in one place.
I know who I am.
I, and you know who I am and therefore you have no authority, but I, I try to, um, it,
I prefer to focus on the positive, but I do have that to fall back on.
If my soul is struggling, um, then I, then I turn to, to the evil and tell it what I
think and tell it how it can't do it because I'm a child of God.
Anyway.
So I just wanted to mention that because I like to make sure that people have options.
If they're struggling with something to know that, Hey, here's, here's the fallback.
Here's, here's another thing that does work, spiritual warfare, head to head, you know,
my knowledge, mature knowledge, you know, you know, the spirit and, um, and, and you
can do that too.
So I do it.
If ever I'm struggling at a particular night in my faith, I'll turn and I'll battle the,
the, um, evil cause it helps my soul.
It's a leverage for my soul to shift into the faith.
Yeah, no, that's good.
And so basically it's just a simple shift.
Like when she's really sad, when she's taking things really hard, it's like out loud or
in my head, just, I know I can shift into my identity in him.
Um, but with her, like, I can say, you know, I love you and, you know, it's okay, sweetie,
you know, that kind of stuff.
But would I say anything about, you know, sweetie, I'm just going to pray right now
or something.
Like, I don't know what to actually say, if, if I should be saying something to comfort
her, or if me just shifting into.
You know, my identity in him is enough. Okay. Two things you absolutely can talk to her.
Cause see everything I'm talking about. I just think about like at night,
cause that's a lot of times when kids are, uh, when, um, kids feel very,
especially vulnerable or whatever, but yeah, you're right.
Like in the middle of the day or whatnot. Um, the, I do, I do both of those things.
I pray with them. And then I also shift into my identity and interact with them like that.
You know, how I was talking about, um, uh, you know, not talking to somebody,
uh, in their brokenness and addressing them down here, like that sadness and not addressing it,
but talking to this person and how, when we talk to this person and we interact with them like this,
we give them what it is we, they think that they're lacking.
So instead of telling them that I love them, though, I do say it.
My instead of focusing my intention on and, and my interaction with them on my words and trying
to convince them, I actually give it to them. So I, I intentionally, um, sacrifice in my,
myself by giving them something of me. I love them. I whatever. And then how, when I'm loving them,
what, uh, what action does that prompt me to in the moment? What words does that prompt me to say
in the moment to them? Not trying to convince them. I'm not talking about like trying to come
up with all of these things like, oh, what worse does that prompt me to say of like, oh, well,
um, you know, don't you realize you're this and don't you realize you're that now that's trying
to convince someone. And that really won't, that'll only go so far. Uh, it's not that that's
not good. It's just, it's only going to go so far. What they need is they need to be touched
in their spirit. So, um, I, I love on them and I just, and I just figure out how to actually
spiritually be pouring into them at that time. And, um, and then, okay, well, now that I'm pouring
into them, what is it that naturally comes up with me to do with them or to, or to say to them
or whatever. And then in addition to that, I do talk to them and I pray to them and pray with
them. Hey, so let's pray. I'm sorry that you're not feeling that you're not feeling good. And then
I'll just let's whenever we're not feeling good, whenever we're feeling sad or whenever we're
feeling aggregate out, uh, angry, we don't have to be afraid. We don't have to be afraid that
we're sad. We don't have to be afraid that whatever, in other words, reminding them,
helping them know from their parent that they are not something to be afraid of.
Even if that's something negative is coming up out of them. Uh, and, uh, that they are not,
in other words, what this is doing is they're learning from their parent,
that there is no need for them to feel intrinsically ashamed of themselves, because that's
where things like, like the, the whole thing of like, you know, if you say stop it and then they
retreat, there's this, there's this thing that they're battling with. Uh, there's something
inherently wrong with me. And they, and so it's trying, so it's instead trying to, um, teach the,
teach them, Hey, look, I fully accept you and receive you when you're sad, when you're angry,
and when you're fearful, and there's no reason, even if you're sad, angry, or fearful for you to
be afraid of yourself, mommy's not afraid of you, you know, and you don't need to be afraid of you.
We're going to, so we're going to pray the Lord about it. If you're sad or angry, let's talk to
God about it. And let's ask him, now help me not to be angry. I'm not to be sad. So to also let
him know when we have negative feelings, we are not so bad that God doesn't want to hear from us
that we go to him. When we feel negative, when we have this scared, uh, when we have negative
feelings, as opposed to let's try to deal with them so that we can come back to God again.
It's like, no, no, no. When you feel negative, there's this openness that we can teach the
children to have of like, okay, God, God, God, this is how I feel. You know, I don't know why
I feel this way to let him know. He's he, that they, um, that he's a safe place when they're
feeling negative. Um, as opposed to the fact that, well, God only, only wants to, God doesn't like
the negative and he just wants to, he wants you to deal with that before he wants to deal with you.
No, no, no. That's not great of you. You know, being negative, we can deal with the negative.
He can deal with negativity as opposed to us dealing with it in order to make us pleasing
to him. And I know when we had negative, that's, you know, we come to God.
because the negative gets dealt with in the presence of God. The negative gets released
and removed. So he is the healing for the negative, as opposed to something we need to fix
before we go to him. So stuff like that helps. Because it's intrinsically an idea that there's
something about me that's wrong, that shame, and it's starting to show the release of shame.
I mean, it's a shame to the Lord.
Yeah, no, it's definitely shame. You named it. I didn't know how to name it. But yeah,
she gets these shame attacks almost, which is obviously the enemy and it's not God. So
for me to help her with that, I just shift into the spirit. And I'm like,
sweetie, it's okay. I love you. And I'm going to pray for you. And you know, you can be in this
space and God loves you. And I love you. And that's okay type of thing. And is that yeah,
that's okay. Right? Just to kind of like speak those words over her and then pray.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. And here's a huge, huge, huge, huge thing. Huge for children. And it's hard
for us because we don't like being around negativity. And we don't want to feel like
we are enabling it. So what we tend what people tend to do is they tend to isolate children
when they're upset, you know, hey, you go think about it. Or you, you know, if you know,
I'll put you in timeout or whatever. What that teaches the child is that teaches separation
from relationship based on their behavior. And that, that really solidifies shame
is and that's where we can get this whole idea that unless I behave a particular way,
God and other people are then I'm abandoned. I'm abandoned based on my behavior. And my behavior
is is revelatory of the fact that something's intrinsically wrong with me. And the least the
less that we can separate relations that we can keep them keep from separating them from our
presence. And then from our relationship, when they feel negative, the lot of the more that they
will heal from from internalizing correction as shame. Does that make sense? Yeah. So what do you
do? Because like, she doesn't, we don't separate her from us very often, like once in a while,
she'll get a timeout. She used to get more, but now she doesn't really get them very often. But
like, what would you do instead, if she's acting out, and she, like, say, you know, she hits one
of us, which she doesn't do very often, again, but like, she does, right. And we say, you know,
go to timeout or she or she hits the cat or something, right? Like, we're like, you need
to go timeout. What what do we do instead? Um, well, I mean, every child's a bit different how
you deal with it. But here's some like possibilities is, instead of separating the child,
the child stays with the parent, but the child doesn't get to do what it's been doing, whether
it's a good thing or a bad thing that they were doing, like if they just get a kick, kick the
cat with them, you know, I don't know, but I'm talking about like, if they're playing,
if they're playing with something, you can't play with that, you can still be with me,
but you can't play with that. And instead, I want you, I want you to sit here, and we'll be and and
I don't know, they can talk to you while you're making dinner, or they can, you know, for five
minutes, or, you know, because she's only five or so that the attention span so long, or the,
the, in other words, that whatever thing that they're doing, isn't a isn't seen as a punishment.
But they don't get to but they see a difference between what it is that they were being allowed
to do, versus what it is that they're doing now. Like, in other words, okay, well, there's something
that's changed, like you were getting to play with your toys, can't play with your toys. But I'm not
separating you from me, there's nothing wrong with you. Don't I'm just trying to get you to not do
this behavior anymore. So and then whatever you want it like, like, okay, well, let's, you know,
you've got some options here, you can't do this for the next 10 minutes, 15 minutes, five minutes,
whatever it is. But, you know, I'm making dinner. So I so sit here with me, because I like to have
you with me. And then, you know, it's you can you can color, or you can do this. I don't know what
it would be. I don't, I don't know if like, coloring is just so wonderful. It would feel
like a like a reward. I'm just trying to come up with something or if it would be something like,
hey, I just want you to sit here. But sometimes it can even be silent, that I just need you to
sit here and you can't. And or if you think that that's not going well, and you think, well, no,
I think that even though she gets to stay in my presence, the demand that she be silent.
still feels like separation, and that may not work with Aveya.
And it might be something where you don't mention anything,
like she can't talk.
But it's like, you can't do what you were doing.
And you need to do this right now.
But you get a choice.
You can color, or you can do this.
Which one is it that you're going to do?
I don't know.
I'm just throwing out ideas.
And you're going to know as the parent what
and you feel this in the spirit.
You just sense it in your spirit.
And then you just make a decision.
You don't have to worry like, oh my goodness,
I wonder if this is going to be a reward.
Is this not going to be a reward?
Don't overthink it.
Just think, in my spirit, what feels appropriate at this time?
And then just do it.
You may do it differently next time.
But just right now, what are you going to do?
Get a general sort of idea before you
get into that situation so that the situation doesn't
catch you off guard.
You're trying to figure out in the middle of it,
what's this new thing that I'm going to do?
Now's not the time.
Prepare yourself before you get in the situation.
But just know that when you're in the situation,
don't you add shame to yourself, just
like you're trying to avoid Aveya doing.
Don't add shame to yourself.
Like, I wonder if I'm going to make the right decision.
I wonder if I'm going to do this right or whatever.
Trust your spirit more.
You know, of all of the people in the world that
have ever lived, Aveya was given to you
because you were the best for her.
You were the best based on what it
is that Aveya was going to need in her life.
You were it.
You were the thing that God was like, that
will help prepare her.
So just trust your spirit and trust in the Lord and all that.
So always focus on who it is that you are,
who it is that she is, not how she's behaving
and what decisions you're making.
Perfect.
Yeah, that's great.
Thank you.
And things won't look beautiful maybe the first time.
Often they do look beautiful the first time
and everyone thinks, oh my goodness, this just works.
And then the next time things all go haywire
and like, oh my goodness, what's going on?
Well, it's just we just need to hold everything very loosely
and understand that we're not moving from one formula
to a different lifestyle or different formulas.
And we're moving to no formulas and understand more things
in spirit.
And we're not always going to, things aren't always
going to look beautiful.
Things aren't going to always look perfect.
It's going to look like it was wrong.
But think about all of the other things
that you've tried so hard to do right by following formulas.
Have they always worked?
No.
And so therefore, we're just going to a different one,
but this one's being led more by the spirit.
And so, and there are people that you're dealing with.
And she, in a veya, regardless of what choices you make,
she has a choice about whether or not she's going to receive it
and how she's going to receive it.
So you just present her as much as you can to the Lord
and the authority that's been given to you.
And God loves her more than you do.
So you just follow whatever you're feeling.
And so the things that I'm telling you
aren't like these perfect formulas of, OK, well,
how to deal with this issue.
These are just some ideas of a different approach
that you could take to these types of situations.
And then so maybe what this does is
it's expanding your mind as to possibilities.
So you may not do what it is I'm talking about.
You may not do what it is that I'm
throwing out there as an option.
I'm not even saying it's a good option about like, OK, well,
instead of doing this, sit at the table.
I'm not even saying that's a good option.
I'm just throwing something out there that maybe you've never
thought of.
And all it does, and maybe the whole point
in us having this conversation, is simply
to break out of the box that you thought in based
on your experience of how you were raised
or how you'd always heard other people raise their children
or whatever.
And understand, OK, wait, wait, there's more possibilities.
And then just ask the Lord, OK, what outside of my box
do you want me to start doing?
Not what Ashley suggested or thought of as an idea
or as an option, but just kind of like, hey, Lord,
that gave me an idea that apparently there's
other ways that I can do it other than the way
I've been doing it.
What other options are out there?
So I'm just saying all of this to kind of break out of the box
but not saying, hey, this is the new direction.
So.
That's great.
I appreciate it.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Welcome.
So it will work for Avea, won't work for the kids.
It will work for the kids, won't work for Avea.
So yeah, we're all people.
That's why all marriages look different,
because it's all based on relationships.
It's not based on behavior.
That's true.
Yeah.
And she's very committed to God for her little age.
So that's a good place to be in too.
Yeah.
So it's nice.
Yeah.
I was laughing earlier because your little chat came up that you like when I say hogwash.
I know.
I wish that I had another phrase to use that wasn't so southern, but I don't know.
It's the one that comes to my mind.
I like that it means you're being real serious.
Whatever you're saying, it's important.
Okay?
That's right.
You're right.
It's hogwash.
It's a pig's will.
You can tell I grew up on a farm, so of course my granddaddy's only had pigs like once when
I was growing up.
The rest were all cattle, so been donkeys.
Anyway, so does anyone have anything else?
There's Steph.
She's been hiding in the dark.
Yes.
I figure there's no sense in having my camera on if I'm in the dark.
So does anyone have anything else?
Linda, did you have something?
I see that you were unmuted.
Well, I was just checking to see whether or not you have any suggestions because when
she was talking about her daughter, I mean, her daughter is obviously under the age of
18.
I have a son who decided to buy a $70,000 pickup truck when he just went back to work
for the first time for four months and four years.
I was hoping that there would be no way the dealership would even consider giving him
a loan.
Of course, you know, he got like 10% interest instead of two, but they let him drive the
truck and I'm beside myself.
So when she's saying that about him, I'm like, do you have the same authority over him once
they turn 18?
No, but you still have, because even when they're five, even when they're five, there's
a spiritual authority that we have, if we are of like protection, that they still have
free will.
And it's very challenging for a parent to provide that kind of authority and protection
without violating the free will.
That is a very difficult balance.
And I know that from personal experience in working, like, say, for instance, with children
that are babysat, my friends' kids, or my nieces or nephew, so I'm very, very even experientially
understanding of that challenge of how to honor their free will, but still provide them
with the appropriate authoritative covering, which is only to benefit them, not to control
them.
But somebody who's like over 18, I know it's really hard.
It's really, really hard, but we have, there's something, there's things that we can do on
behalf of other people that you would do the same thing with your child, with an offspring,
you know, regardless how old they are, where you are one with them in Christ, and you can
speak to them in the spirit.
You can, I talk to people's souls and body and call them to, even when I'm not near them,
you know, call them to rise up and to remember who it is that they are, whatever, but they
have an opportunity to respond to it, respond to hearing a son of God, making wise decisions,
asking their spirit on behalf of them to come in and present wisdom to their soul,
to present wisdom to their body or whatever, as opposed to trying to, okay, as opposed
to manipulation, which is, so I'm trying to like give you an idea about what it is that
I'm not saying.
So that, as opposed to what we typically can fall back on in our desire to help somebody
is we think that we're giving them, we think, well, we can't control them, but I can, I
can convince them and there's this, there's this, oh man, there's this delicate balance
to having a conversation with someone and then moving into manipulation, which is where
we are taking someone's own standards of judgment, according to the true logic of evil.
and using them and getting them to use them against themselves. Like, and what we typically
do is we use guilt or shame. Like, have we ever been told by our parents or have we ever told the
child, um, you know, I taught you better. Well, things like that, you know, so I'm not saying
that. Yeah. I use the example that we went to look at a house one time and we thought it was the
house for us and I had a check. And so we didn't buy the house because I couldn't sign the
paperwork on it. And two weeks later, Greg lost his job. So had we signed on a house at that point,
we could legitimately have had, we would have been no way to pay. I mean, so it was just one
of those checks. And then just like three years ago, we had looked at a summer home at like the
Ozarks, which is like an hour and a half from here to have a second place to get away. And we
had $20,000 down getting ready to go put the check as a down payment. And Greg got down there and
said, I just couldn't do it. I didn't have peace. So I use that example in those two instances where
one person in the family didn't have peace and it was okay not to, but I shared that
with my daughter-in-law. Without her signature, it wouldn't have gone through because she was the
only one that's had the long-term thing. Well, she showed it to my son and then I got the phone call
and it was like, I was not going behind his back. She had already talked to me about not being
comfortable about it. So I didn't tell him she'd already talked to me. But the reason why I texted
her was because if this is going through, you don't have to sign even if you're not comfortable.
So she threw me under the bus. I did not throw her on the bus, but I did get in trouble with my son.
It's already gone through $1,500 a month payment. He hasn't made that much money except for three
months in the last five years. We've been paying his bills on a very consistent basis. It's like,
what are you thinking? So of course, it's like you get three months of good money
and this is what you do with it. So I'm, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that.
But that is an issue that the two of them might personally be struggling with in their relationship
and therefore it's easier for them to outsource an issue to someone outside the marriage.
So I'm sorry that that's what it sounds like may have happened. So it doesn't have anything
to do with you. I'm really sorry. Did I do? Because he said, well, you could have come
and talked to me. I said, I'm not going to come and talk to you. I know you're the one
that wants the truck. You know, there is no reason that you're not going to not sign it.
She's the one that if you, you know, if you didn't have her income, there'd be no way it
would be going through. But, but because of it, I mean, now he's got the truck, he's happy and
love you, mom. You know, so like it didn't work, mom. I got my truck. I mean, that's
the way it came across. Sorry. I will say so. So two things here that as much as we
want to help our help other people, regardless of whether it's a, it's a child or spouse or
someone else, you know, we're like, oh my word, I could just see the pain coming or the potential
for pain or whatever. Well, we learned so much through it that it can, someone's life can be
tremendously enriched by making a particular decision that they could have been saved from.
And, and I'm not saying that, oh, well, you know, you should just like embrace pain and whatever.
My, my point is that, so there is a redemption aspect. It's not just all gone to, to hell and
a handbasket. The other thing is that, and then God loves them more than we do. And the other
thing is that we, as we, as a person, regardless of our relationship with them, regardless of if
it's a parent, child, or spouse or friend or whatever it is, there is an aspect in which we
can what it is that we can give someone is the same thing that I talk about when I talk about
talking to someone in the spirit. It's honoring and respecting.
them as their own person to them to provide them a safe place to be themselves, even if
who it is that they are and what it is that they're expressing is bringing a tremendous
is very unwise, because what they end up doing is by providing someone else a safe place
to make mistakes that they have a right to make.
So we're not talking about mistakes that they don't have a right and authority to make and
providing a safe place for that.
We're talking about ones that they have a right to make in their own lives, you know,
and providing a safe space for that I have noticed that people learn lessons faster than
they do if they have if they make unwise decisions, and they have they it gets countered, and
they get because they feel personally attacked, which makes them rise up and try to defend
or protect themselves, and it entrenches the the repetitive unwise decisions.
So they end up making unwise decisions, fewer bath, and then in a shorter amount of time,
the more of a safe place that they're provided to make mistakes without feeling condemned
by someone who disagreed with them.
I know that by experience by how by working with people, personally and professionally,
where they were making certain decisions.
And I either didn't say anything, because they weren't asking my opinion, or, or whatever
the situation was, or maybe they did ask my opinion, it was my place to say, say, for
instance, even in a person professional situation, where my job was on the line, if they messed
up, I would provide them a certain as a safe place to make mistakes.
And then, and by the way, these were really, really serious situations, very serious, like
my job was being like my like the project and their decisions were being reported to
like the owner of FedEx, who owned a company, you know, worldwide company that owned half
a million employees.
So we're talking about really, really, really big risks here, my whole job is online, everything
like in very big ways, many, many, many, many, many, like throughout the throughout the day
with all of these different people, and like trying to figure out, okay, how do I provide
a safe place, and I learned that they learned from their mistakes faster.
Like, if they made mistakes, and I suffered for it.
They, they made them, they, they made them made fewer, and then they started gaining
wisdom faster than if I battled them trying to convince them that that was unwise, that
what it is that they were doing and watch because they start taking on personally, and
would and would become further entrenched in making unwise decisions, because they weren't
there, they're, they're training of learning how to make wise decisions was being delayed.
So it took a longer to make it, it's not, it's not easy.
And it is hard to be on that outside where you're suffering for watching what it is that
they're doing, that they're doing to themselves, and watching them suffer.
But they do learn it faster.
So, and that, again, I'm talking about situations in which is somebody else's right to make a
decision and to make a mistake, as opposed to making a mistake when it's when it's not
their authority to make a mistake, and it's not their authority to make their own decision.
I'm talking about when it when it's very obvious that it's their authority to make their decision,
how do we handle that?
I've noticed that the pain is still there, but they do learn faster.
And they, and they, they feel safer with you to come for your advice.
Faster.
It's wild.
I've seen it so many times, not just professionally in personal situations, too.
I've seen lives changed as a result.
So I know it's not an easy answer, but I promise I have experienced it in a very serious situation,
personally and professionally, very serious ones.
Oh, my word.
Very scary ones, like even in the professional ones, like where people were doing physical harm.
So made, made a big difference.
So by being safe place, I ended up being the person that they would come to, to be rescued,
and not rescued so that they can repeat the behavior.
We're talking rescue to finally get finally out of it.
So anyway, but that to you, that was just, those were just my thoughts.
Not fun.
Thanks, thanks.
I know, sorry.
I know it's not fun.
So does anyone have anything before we jump off?
Is everyone good?
I don't think I've missed any chat.
No, I haven't.
Okay, well, it's good to see everybody.
Bye. Hope y'all have a good week and I should see you next week. So I don't think I don't have a rest intensive that I'm aware or rest intensive a rest and interest resting
Next week. So unless something random and surprising comes up. So everything should all be good. So I will see y'all next Thursday, then
All right. Bye.