Kathy and staff.
I am good.
Very good.
Forgive the cough.
People have had to listen to it all conference.
But it's getting better.
I'm very grateful.
How is everybody doing?
April!
Long time no see.
It's your first time on our group call.
I'm glad you're here.
I'm part of the group.
Part of the community.
Hey, Sylvia.
Hey!
We have some new people.
Hopefully Tammy will be able to get on.
Sylvia is a friend of Diane.
She's in the group.
Tammy is Natalie Lawson's mother.
Natalie is also in the group.
I got to meet all of these people in person.
I'm so excited.
Good night.
Because we have new people in the group,
I will mention the housekeeping rules.
I sometimes forget to when new people join.
I will do my best to provide answers.
For people to ask questions.
I will do my best to provide answers.
Just to be aware,
when people are asking questions,
they are asking me for my perspective
on some things.
I will do my best to provide answers.
I just tell them what it is I believe.
I ask that people do not provide
their feedback.
Their advice to someone.
On either a post or on here.
Unless someone specifically asks for the group's input.
I will do my best to provide answers.
I will do what I need to do in the post.
A lot of times,
people will say this is open to anybody.
I do that in order to provide people
the opportunity to control
their level of vulnerability.
Vulnerability,
especially in what we are learning here
.
I do like to provide people
the opportunity
to baby step themselves into it a bit.
Not have to expose themselves
and be vulnerable all the way
at the beginning.
They can choose.
They are more likely to shift faster that way.
I just wanted to make sure
that was helpful for everyone to understand.
I do also have
everybody's microphones muted
when they are not talking.
That is because
sometimes people do have background noise.
Even if you don't have background noise,
what we have noticed is
on these recordings that there is feedback
for whoever's talking, that there's feedback
from the other person's computer or phone,
and then it creates an issue in the recording.
So anyway, so if you have a question,
you just unmute yourself, and then when it's about time
for when someone's question and answer is wrapping up,
and then I know that the next person has a question.
The other thing is, if you want to mention,
if you want to message something, excuse me,
if you want to message something in the chat
that you have a question, or if you have somewhere,
I don't know how, somewhere on either the phone
or on the computer, you can raise your hand.
I don't know how, but some people have found it in there.
So you can also do that because I am notified
when someone raises their hand that they have a question,
and then I'll know which next person to go to.
So anyway, just FYI, how all of that works.
So, oh, Sylvia, you found it.
Do you have a question, or were you just testing it?
You're just testing it?
Excellent.
I don't even know where it is.
Someone's gonna need to show me where it is.
Hey, Linda, you're right down the road.
We're feet apart.
We're in spitting distance.
So I'm in, I'm still at the conference center.
I mean, meaning like the resort.
So I'm still here at the lodge.
Linda very kindly invited me to stay,
which was a huge benefit, a huge gift,
because I literally stayed in bed all day in my pajamas
the day after the conference.
And my sister will tell you that is not normal,
even when I have the flu.
So I was so tired.
I was so tired.
So, and even then I was trying to start getting back
to people because people were still,
were already emailing me or messaging me
and about needing something after the conference
or wanting to tell me a testimony or whatever.
So I still have a list of people that even on Thursday
that I'm still trying to get through.
So I've been able to rest a bit
and been able to start hearing some things
from the Lord about,
and already be able to feel in the spirit
since I'm quiet and I don't have people around me
into what else that he wants,
where else that he and I might start going and moving
and started to have some other ideas,
which is very exciting.
And it is, as I mentioned,
God has graciously provided me with Linda's help.
She connected me with some people
and who were here at the conference
who have very kindly chosen
to offer to take Dawson for me,
my little dog that I've had to,
that the Lord has said I needed to find a new home for
after nine years,
because there are things that he wants me to do.
I'm gonna start traveling internationally.
I think I've mentioned that to y'all before
and obviously taking a dog like that is a bit of a bit,
there's a lot of red tape.
And so he just said that I'm just moving
and he's got new things that he wants us to do.
And that meant that he just had another home for Dawson.
And I honestly could not imagine picking a better home
than the one that he dropped in my lap.
It is abundance beyond measure.
So I'm grateful for that and spending this time here,
having this time here in Missouri,
because these people live only an hour and a half away
is giving me the opportunity
to have like the best scenario possible,
which is knowing where she's gonna go.
Then I get to go drop her off at the home.
So I get to actually see the environment that she'd be in.
So I can just picture it,
whenever I'm missing her or anything.
And then it's also giving me an opportunity
to process having to let her go.
So I can still have her,
instead of kind of like the shock of like,
only where she's gone or like dropping her off
and then having to drive off.
So, oh good, Alicia finally got in.
So just all the way around, tremendous gift.
Thank you, Linda.
And it's even beyond what I'm talking,
what I'm describing here.
But she just offered it to me on Sunday
and I was like, oh my word, that's a blessing.
I didn't know where I was gonna go tomorrow,
but I just knew I had to get out of Dodge.
And so I was gonna pick a place and take off.
So this way I've been able to start healing
from my allergies too.
So anyway, so yes, I'm still here
on the swinging couch in the lodge.
Okay, hey Alicia, I'm glad you finally got in.
Because you were saying you couldn't get in
and I was like, I don't know, I just click on the list.
There's something about, if you're the leader, log in,
but then I finally noticed a little click down here,
join as an attendee.
I guess that's new.
Yeah, OK, perfect.
I'm glad you're here, yay.
OK, so to start us out, does anyone have a question?
Excuse me.
Anyone have a question to start us out with?
Maybe you watch the conference or attend to the conference,
you have a question, or maybe you
are running into something, understanding,
trying to learn how to shift into rest into something new,
and you're struggling in a particular area,
you're wondering how to apply this,
or you ran into your own resistance
and didn't know how to fish past it,
or how to recognize its resistance,
or how to let it go.
Does anyone have anything?
April, yay, there you are.
Alana's prompting me, say, come on, go, go, go.
Yay.
Because this is really going to be really awesome for her,
and sometimes April just needs a little bit of a nudge.
I really, OK.
I've gotten to visit with April, and I just really enjoy her,
and enjoy her and her perspective.
And so I would imagine that she'd have a very good question.
She does.
Well, Alana, you can help me.
Just tell me what I'm supposed to ask.
So one of the things that Alana and I were talking about today
was stepping into being something instead
of trying to be something.
I was wondering if you could speak to that, and how to,
I don't know, for me, effort's so
hard to be kind and gracious and forgiving.
And I'll just frame it a little bit with my husband,
when I already have a preconceived story,
or, oh my gosh, it's going to be so much efforting and hard
work, and will the payoff be there for me
if I can pull it off anyway?
So I don't know if you need more information,
but really, it's about just being those things instead
of trying to be things.
Yeah, so the thing is, and I've actually
been talking to people a lot about this the past week
or so, because I had private consultations with people
while they were here in the conference,
and I ended up having to address some of this,
that there are things that we want to do.
So whenever we're wanting to do it,
and we don't understand why we're finding it so hard,
hey, Tammy, I'm wondering why we're finding it all so hard.
And the key, actually, is to first choose
that there's no shame and no condemnation,
because it says in Romans 8, 1, there
is therefore now no condemnation for those
who are in Christ Jesus.
And we all say it, and we all tell ourselves
and other people that, and we all just know that, oh,
thankfully, that's how I came to the Lord,
because there's no condemnation.
But we don't understand that continues.
That's our new existence, is there is no condemnation.
The old man has died.
The new man lives, and the new man has never sinned.
The new man has never sinned because, let me pull this out.
The new man has never sinned because the new man
is born of spirit.
So soul and body, right here, there you go.
So we are spirit, our seed of our identity
is in our spirit, even though we're also soul and body
and it's all unified.
So the old man operated thinking its identity
was in the soul or the body, and it's subject to corruption.
And it's not one with, and it wasn't one with Christ.
Our spirit is one with Christ.
And anyway, so that means that if we're one with Christ,
we are everything that Christ is,
and we're nothing that He's not.
So there is no condemnation.
This is our seed of our actual identity,
and there's no condemnation.
Down here, if we think that we are not one with Christ,
and we don't think that there's no condemnation,
it's like acting as if we think that our identity
is in our soul, in the metaphysical,
what we feel, what we think, et cetera,
or that we're down here in our body.
It's all about what's happening to me
in my physical environment, the physical circumstances
that I'm finding myself in, I'm subject to.
So anyway, the very important thing is to understand
that there truly is no condemnation, not just in.
coming to Christ and being freed and being saved,
but actually from that point forward,
there's no condemnation because we're the new man
and the new man has never sinned.
So that is our starting point.
And it's very important that whenever we approach
a particular situation like, oh my goodness,
I wonder how I'm gonna be able to do this.
Am I gonna perform it to par?
Am I gonna perform it to standards?
Am I gonna be able to exemplify all the fruits
of the spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, whatever?
Am I gonna be able to do it?
We question it, but the thing is that if we're spirit,
we already are all those things
because if we're one with Christ
and we're everything that he is
and we have the fruits of the spirit
because we are spirit, the fruits of the spirit
are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness and steadfastness and self-control,
we already are all those things.
Those things are describing the new man.
They're describing who we are.
They're not a list of things that we're supposed
to work hard for and try to become and try to act like.
So the trying comes from an old habit
of thinking that we're the old man,
that we're subject to corruption,
that everything requires exertion
and that we're not new, that we're not a new creation
and that we're actually still the old man.
And so that's where all the trying comes in
because the old man couldn't do it naturally.
He wasn't it naturally, so he had to try.
So what we have to do,
which is what we have to do with everything,
we have to choose that what God says is true.
And he says that we're the new man.
And so whenever we go into a situation,
it's important that we first choose
that there is no shame and no condemnation
and that we already are everything
that God says that we are.
And from that place, we can actually be successful
when we're trying to, I don't know,
interact with our children
or we're trying to interact with,
we're trying to, I don't know,
do, you know, interact with your spouse.
Whatever situation you're going into,
Dawsa, get in your bed.
Sorry, get in your bed.
Go on.
It has to come, in order for it to be successful,
in order for us to be able to act like that
in those situations,
we have to start from the position
that we already are the thing.
If we don't, and if we try to get there,
uh-uh, get in your bed.
Go on.
Good girl.
Up, up.
Then if we start at it from a root of no shame,
if we start it from a root of shame and condemnation
that, oh, I'm not it already
and I have to try to become it,
then that's actually creating the very hindrance
to us being able to do it.
So if we can try,
which is what we've been doing our whole lives,
Dawsa, get in your bed,
which is what we've been trying to do our whole lives,
but as we all well know,
we can hit the mark sometimes and not others.
And when we do hit the mark,
dadgum, we have to work 10 times harder.
We have to work really, really hard to do it.
And it takes a lot of work.
It's exhausting.
And then, yet we have to work hard to forgive.
We have to work hard to be kind.
We have to work hard to be loving,
especially when we're trying to love the unlovable.
But if we do it out of the spirit,
choosing first, before we do anything,
choosing first that whatever it is God says is true,
then we actually have a platform
on which to actually see it manifest in reality
and actually be loving in the situation.
Be patient because it's who we are,
but we have to choose it first
before we actually get to see it manifest.
And by choosing the opposite,
we'll see the opposite manifest
because goodness, meaning like love,
patience, the fruits of the spirit
can't come from a root of shame and condemnation.
Shame and condemnation has nothing but death
to give to the situation.
So just, is that a bit helpful?
Dasa, Gaby, get in your bed.
Go on.
I want Alana to like rescue me, help me.
But one of the things she was saying to me
is like, I've been cutting down the tree,
but I've got to dig up the root of it.
And so that was like, that reminded me of that.
And I'm just like, okay, well, how do you do that?
Yeah.
What Alana is talking about, and I am very sorry,
just one second.
Discipline, DASA, uh-uh, get in your bed.
Thank you.
Good girl, good girl.
I'm gonna miss it.
Okay, so.
Okay, so for the root, she's absolutely right,
because what, you know, cutting down the tree
is that idea of working really hard for something.
You're trying to do, because the root system
is what nourishes and actually what the tree grows from.
So if we compare it to, you know,
what you're talking about in a situation,
what's the actual fruit of the situation?
What's growing from the root?
That's the love that you're trying to get.
That's the patience you're trying to have in the situation,
you know, whatever.
So if you're trying to actually deal with this symptom,
but what is it all supposed to come from?
It's supposed to come from the fact
that you already are it,
not that you're trying to look like you have it,
or, you know, fake, I don't want to say fake it,
but sort of kind of fake it.
It is love and it is patience,
but it's from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,
meaning that we have to work hard for it.
And when we operate from the tree of the knowledge
of good and evil,
it means that we believe that we're separated from the Lord.
We're separated,
means that we think we're separated from the Lord.
We're not, but we think that we are.
Being, and therefore God is our life source.
And so if we're cutting off that life source
and choosing instead to operate off of, okay,
you know, off of my knowledge, okay,
what do I know about the Bible?
What do I know about this?
What do I know about what it is I should be and should do?
And in my past experience, how have I drummed up love?
How have I drummed up patience?
What are the ways that I've had to logically walk myself
through this situation to trigger myself to love,
to trigger myself to remember to endure and to be patient?
It's a lot of work and all we're getting,
because all we have to give to this situation
is ourselves as a life source.
And if we've cut ourselves off from our own life source,
which is God, meaning that we think that we were separated.
We're not ever separated.
Nothing we can do can ever separate us.
But if we think that we are,
and we think we're pulling from our own strength,
we have nothing to give it but death
because we've internally cut ourselves off
from the idea that we're connected to God,
who's our life source,
who enables love and patience to be effortless
when it comes out of him.
But when it's trying to come out of us
and we're disconnecting ourselves from our father,
it's really hard.
So that's what she's referring to
with the whole tree and the root.
The root is the life source.
And so we have to be in God.
So the root of what it is that you're trying to pull from,
what any of us are trying to pull from,
if we aren't just being, but we're trying,
the root of that is ourselves
and that doesn't have any life.
So everything's like 10 times harder to do from there.
All of this is mentioned.
I don't know how far that you've gotten in the videos,
but what it is I'm talking about,
I'd recommend going in order.
But so wherever it is that you've gotten so far,
the one that I just mentioned about the tree of life
versus the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,
that is in, what was it?
Session five, I think.
And then the one that I showed you
about the new man and the old man,
spirit, soul, and body,
and the fact that our identity is in our spirit,
and that's where we can just effortlessly be
when we live from that place versus trying and doing
if we think our identity is in our body and our soul,
that's in session six.
Then there's also another one,
I don't remember if it's like session eight
or session nine that is operating out of this,
operating in the spirit,
which is how you take those two sessions
that I just talked about,
and then how you actually operate like that,
how you live just being instead of trying.
So it goes into more depth.
So I'm having to cover a lot of material
that has tremendous amount of context somewhere else,
and having to cover it really quickly.
I'm trying to say it in a nutshell.
So if it's confusing,
know that there are resources for you to go to
that will provide more clarity.
But generally, is this,
are you getting a sense of the direction?
Is this at least making sense?
Yeah, thank you.
Okay, all right, good.
You're welcome.
Does someone have something else?
I have a question.
Yes.
I don't know if this makes sense but is there.
So, with someone who constantly struggles with being in and out of rest in and out.
Is there something like a maintenance step if that makes sense of something like I'm thinking if I do the close your eyes and picture Jesus, if I do that more often or is there something that will help me stay on track and not get so sidetracked.
Um, good question.
Yes. So, really, everything goes back to us just choosing the Lord.
Where we have chosen it's so we can learn how to shift in an interest.
But if we're continuing to.
And we'll improve.
But if we're continuing to run into it over and over and over and over again.
And what it's indicative of is the fact that while we can choose the Lord that we're not growing in intimacy with him.
Because it's from that place from making ourselves more and more vulnerable with him choosing that we're safe with him, becoming more and more intimate with him, it's from that place that all of the other areas of our life.
I mean that, I mean that our life in general will start shifting interest more and more and more and it becomes easier for us to choose.
But understand that when you have chosen in the past, you did choose.
And you're not having to learn that lesson over again. You're just having to, you're just being introduced to it at a deeper level.
That same lesson so to speak that same that same opportunity that same invitation into greater measure of love and freedom at a deeper level.
So be encouraged to know, but as far as how to stop bouncing back and forth so much and oscillating, especially quickly.
You know like man I'm out of man I'm out and it's and it's and it's exhausting means you're constantly be triggered for out.
So, um, the, the, like what you said it really does go back to the root of of exposing ourselves very vulnerably to the Lord, and continuing to invite invite.
How would you put that just developing that relationship within where we're where we're choosing him more and more we're giving up more and more of ourselves we're exposing ourselves more and more.
is the one you talked about the, you know, looking at Jesus and and and allowing him to love you.
There are some other ways that I was talking to someone about recently that might help other people. It's the same thing that is the same exercise but it's a different way of doing it.
It's learning how to be more vulnerable.
And because that is under that that one that we talked about about looking at Jesus. That one.
Get some people for instance can't see him. So, they kind of get hung up on that part, and they needed me to explain what came up with this.
When people needed me to explain.
What am I supposed to do.
How, and so I had to figure out how to explain what that seeing him was triggering me, triggering in me, so that they can understand okay you need to put yourself in this type of position so I came up with another way that you can put yourself in this position.
Really what it is we're doing is we're wanting to, we're needing to be more vulnerable with the Lord. Well, with vulnerability comes intimacy and in a true and there's just in with invulnerability is how we shift into rest.
So, how do we actually do this in a very solid way where we get ourselves back to our identity more and more in our relationship with the Lord as opposed to just simply.
Oh, in this one situation I'm shifting interest.
What I recommend is that you that a way that you can do this, I have done this myself.
And it works.
I did this actually just the other day that you lay down on the ground.
And, excuse me, lay down on the ground, spread eagle.
Because her legs are apart.
And so it's extremely vulnerable I mean it's invulnerable for a man to, but it's extremely invulnerable it makes a woman feel extremely vulnerable.
And so, in your that position, and then you can close your eyes you know how before I talked about the fact that I would sit on the side of my bed and then I would invite Jesus to come sit on the side of my bed.
my bed and I, I'd imagine him looking, looking in the eyes and, and that's how I would do it.
So another way that I've done it is I lie on the ground, spread Eagle. So in other words,
a very vulnerable position. And so I'm, my body is triggered, um, of, of feeling very vulnerable.
So it helps trigger me in my soul, you know, going up, starting down here, starting with the tool
down here to help me move up. If I'm having a hard time accessing this immediately start here,
which is something I can tangibly, um, uh, recognize and grab a hold of easier.
And then it'll help me shift up here. Um, um, anyway, um, and the same thing in the soul,
we have tools that we use in the soul, things like this in order to trigger us to shift up
into our spirit. So that's what we're doing here. Um, anyway, so you do that.
And, uh, and then, and so you just lay there and you're, and you're triggered to feel very
vulnerable and you move that inside and allow that inside kind of like, think of like where it
is you feel especially vulnerable, like in exposing yourself to the Lord or where you feel particularly
stressed when you feel stressed or where you feel, um, when the Lord talks to you and you feel
touched by the Lord, where do you feel it? I feel it here. Some people feel it in their stomach.
I feel it here. So wherever it is that you feel it, kind of imagine this door that you
have closed. And so when you're vulnerable and you're laying there before the Lord,
and you're inviting him to come choose in your mind to, to open that door.
And, and as weird as it might sound, I would recommend making it a double door to make it
open in the middle for whatever reason, at first more vulnerable than doing this. Um, and, um,
so, um, uh, anyway, um, by the way, hi, Diane, good to see you. Um, uh, and no, no worries.
She just sent me a message privately. No worries. Uh, anyway, I would do that. That's what I did
when I was doing this the other day. I just kind of like imagine this way. Cause, um,
I didn't imagine a door, but I just felt myself just open up right here. Cause I thought, okay,
how do I move into vulnerability? How do I expose myself more to the Lord? And I thought,
and I felt like this opening when I did. And so you can kind of imagine doors or whatever.
And, uh, and then allow the Lord to allow the Lord to come in, allow him to, um, uh,
cause you're exposing yourself to him when I'm talking about exposing yourself, by the way,
I'm not referring to things like you need to be thinking of particular things like, well,
it weighs like, and, and having to articulate it like, well, there's this trauma from my past.
And I really, I really don't like thinking about it and it's really embarrassing and I feel very
ashamed about it. And I don't want to expose that to the Lord, but I guess I better do that.
I'm not talking about even articulating anything. If you need to articulate something to yourself
and choose to expose that to the Lord, that's fine. If that's a tool that you want to use
and like, think about something in particular and expose that. That's great. Me, I don't,
I just, I just opened myself up and don't, and don't think because what you want to do,
and this is especially more challenging for people who are very analytical and you think a lot,
you're trying to get yourself to stop, um, hindering yourself by thinking.
And so what's important is that you stop thinking and you start feeling your way through it.
So you just expose yourself to the Lord, just allow him to come in and, um, uh, and, and,
and move into more, expose yourself more and more until, uh, you can start sometimes feeling a
resistance. So move into that and it'll feel good. It'll feel scary before you do it, but as you're
in it, when you're in it, there's an aspect in which it still feels scary, but it feels really,
really good at the same time. Then eventually you're can run into one of two things.
Either you just feel that, okay, you know, in whatever it is you're experiencing
in that vulnerability and that intimacy, that feeling good feeling that comes with it.
Then, um, you can just enjoy it. Just enjoy that with the Lord. Enjoy just, just, um, um,
resting in it, just being in that and, um, and, and just enjoying the experience that you're
having with the Lord. And that will, that will teach you that God is that you're safe with the
Lord. Then, um, the next time you do this, as well as this time, if you want to, if you want to go
deeper, you can, and you just push deeper. You will expose yourself more and more until you feel
a wall, either a wall of I can't open myself up more and I don't know how, you know, like,
well, I think I've given him everything. If you think you've given him everything you haven't,
there's no, there's no end to it. Because he's ever expanding and we're in him and we're ever
expanding then, then you can't ever get to the end of what you can open yourself up to and be
completely vulnerable. So you just, it's just more and more and more. But anyway, so the point is
that whenever you get to a threshold like that, you're going to run into resistance. And so go
through one of the tools that we talked about. If you can't just choose to be vulnerable and let it
go and to release, if you need a tool to remind you of how to release something, or to kind of
like help you like get a bit of leverage for your soul, go through one of those tools that I recommend
or another tool. If you have another tool, you know, that has worked for you, that you have
developed with the Lord, use that. You know, one of the whole things of like just telling yourself
stop or, you know, no shame and no condemnation or no judgment or choose or declare or whatever.
I recommend doing one of those. Something that I do want to mention about the vulnerability and
the intimacy and, and the fact that it can feel uncomfortable and painful as well as,
and not painful as in like, he's hurting me or, and he's saying mean things to me, or he's making
me feel bad. Not like that, but just that, that the, the uncomfortableness that comes with being
exposed. It's like, oh, you know, okay, I'm here and I'm trusting that this feels very exposed.
It's similar, but at the same time, it feels really good. I want us to draw connections between
the things of the spirit and things that God has given us as types and shadows of on the earth.
And remember that that is very similar to what physical intimacy and intercourse can feel like
between a man and a woman. It can feel good and uncomfortable at the same time. So God are, those
are types and shadows of what it is, of what you can draw connections to, of what it is that you're
experiencing with the Lord. And the fact that you're being very vulnerable and you're afraid
of doing it, but once you're in it, you're feeling and experiencing the intimacy of the
Lord that he's wanting to give you of himself. But at the same time, there's an aspect of,
of still, of, of being very aware that you're vulnerable and it being unfamiliar
to be that vulnerable and to experience that intimacy from the Lord. It's unfamiliar and it
can make us feel uncomfortable until we get used to it. And then we can turn it around and learn
to actually enjoy it instead of feeling so uncomfortable while we're feeling good. So I
just wanted to draw that, that connection in case it helps people that have experienced it in the
physical and are, and are trying to, and are now moving into an unknown realm that you can't see
and feel and, and, and it's all happening. It's all happening in the spirit. I'm trying to draw
connections that maybe it'll help kind of ground it a little bit, but it is, is that helpful of,
of an exercise? Cause you're right. You do just go all the way back to the basics of it.
Yes. I think that'll help. Okay. Does what time is it? Does anyone have
anything else, any other questions or anything?
Let's see. Oh my word. Let's see. Yeah. Goodness. It's been a long time since we've had this many
people on here. So nice to see everybody. Our group is growing. I'm sorry. I'll just,
I'll share real quick. I felt like today I was in a really great place of rest for the first time in
a while. And yeah, it was really good. And I, I lay, you know, I just lay on my bed and I turned everything off
and I just spent some time with the Lord and it was really nice. And I want this feeling to last
because I get these feelings. I feel like so peaceful and I can carry on. And then all of a sudden,
I can carry on. And then all of a sudden, without notice, I'll just dip down and everything will be
awry. And I'm like, I'm like, I'm getting more consistent with it, but I'm like, how,
when we get into those situations that are just, we can tell that our soul is running us in those
moments. And, you know, my heart and mind is like wanting what it wants. And it's not about the
spirit.
it like and I know you've taught on this before and I'm super curious because I think it's just
like right now it's really hitting me as to in those moments what's the best way to like I know
we can stand there and say okay he's our protection our provision he is the one who's responsible for
everything it's not about our way it's his way I know we can say all those things but what is
what is the best way to really just shift into that place that we're so used to and we know the
feeling but we're just having trouble accessing it you're talking about rest yeah that feeling
or whatever and it's very good question glad to bring this up okay so um what we cannot do is
some odd times we experience a um you know that that um that feeling you know that place of rest
and and the feelings that come with it sorry let me plug in my phone and um what we can do
is we can begin to rely on that um and rely on experience it as our evidence of okay I'm feeling
this way therefore I'm I'm safe and therefore I'm okay and we can start relying on that instead of
God's word um and charismatics have have really struggled with this um I can say it because I
came from um that charismatic background um and that and charismatic have a tendency to do this
it's it's they believe that their emotions and how they feel and what it is that they're
experiencing is their proof and if they don't experience something then it's not real or it's
not it's not valuable enough and it's not God and some and they don't they don't know that that's
their theology sometimes people talk about it there are some people that talk about experiences
as being very uh so important that oh my goodness if you're not experiencing it well then it's not
real but most people say oh no no it's not the experience you know you have to choose it whether
or not you experience it but I have literally had people tell me um that Ashley I am just waiting
I live I live for the next what was the word they used they said I live for the next um
I can't think of the word um I wish I could think of the word because it was very interesting the
word choice that they had but basically the next mountaintop experience the next feeling of the
Lord then and um uh so the important thing is that even though we can have that and we can feel it
and that's wonderful if uh it's not it's not us um if if we're if us not feeling that
makes us feel concerned and unsettled then we have begun to rely too much on the feeling
and it's important and then we can start using that with the Lord in our faith journey as the
proof that we're requiring of the Lord before we will um the uh that we're requiring of the
Lord to give us or for us to have in order for us to in order for us to shift or in order for
us to make a choice and ultimately everything comes down to the fact that no matter what we
just choose we don't have to want to we don't have to believe we don't have to feel like it
there can be no proof nothing and it's just simply did God say and do I of my own will and
intention choose that it's so that is what gives it the power to make it so that's what shifts us
into rest to so that we can feel it is um is the fact that we choose it we have to choose everything
first before we can have it in the Lord everything the exception to that is when we're young in the
Lord um in a particular area he will teach us like we do like we teach children and the fact
that he'll just like give it he'll like spoon feed us and teach us how to trust him um and then
but once we're mature enough where we're like oh this is God's character God's like okay so now
that you're mature enough for that now that I've like spoon-fed you all this way and created a
fake reality like we do with children a fake environment for them to learn something okay
now you've got it okay let's enter the real world and now just choose and um so it can even go as
deep as feeling and experiencing rest and starting to rely on that of like I like this feeling and
therefore me feeling like this means is how I'm proving to myself and making myself feel calm
that I'm actually at rest and we have to choose that we are there
and that we have that intimacy with the Lord.
and that we have a right to that sense of peace or whatever,
regardless of the experience that we're having at the moment.
Does that make sense?
Because this step goes to a very deep level.
We can even use rest and start using that as a formula
or start using it as the thing that we are wanting to demand of God.
You know, like whatever we're wanting God to reconcile himself to,
to give us before we'll da-da-da-da-da.
Whatever.
And so anyway, we can start using,
we can start applying all of the ways that we have a tendency to
and habits to approach things.
And we can now just replace that with rest.
And so it's got this godly term and we think it's all okay,
but we're still operating so much out of that old mindset.
So anyway, does that make sense?
Yeah, it's great because I think I had,
I had been really focused on the feeling of it.
It's like, if I feel like I'm at rest, then I'm at rest,
because I'm supposed to feel peaceful,
but it's really, it really comes down to that choice to just.
If you choose it, it's true.
Period.
Actually, it's true whether or not you choose it,
but it manifests in your life when you choose it.
Not, not when you feel it, you get to feel it after you choose it.
Because remember what I talk about in the, in the journey to rest,
how it's proof belief choosing.
And, and then, and I'll God, baby spoon feeds us and he'll get this proof.
And then we believe it after we have an approved.
And then, and then he'll say, okay, now believe me.
And I want you to choose it and how he walks is that way.
And that now where he's just like, okay,
now that I've proven my character and prove myself faithful.
Now just choose.
Now that you've chosen.
This is very, very important.
Now that you've chosen.
Then you are the thing like, this is God talking now that you've chosen.
Now you are.
He's saying you are partnering with me.
To create the proof.
To create that feeling. Remember God.
And giving us that word and us choosing to believe it allows it to
manifest in the feeling.
But, but when we're first starting to shift into rest,
We have to partner with him.
To, to see the manifestation.
But, and again, that the feeling now, everything from the Lord is,
is a, is a gift.
It's freely given freely received. We don't have to earn it.
So our partnership with the Lord is not earning anything.
But we, he does, there is that engagement.
So he provides the word. It's the male, the male initiative.
Right.
We provide, we receive the female does nothing, but receive very
effortless, just receives it.
And in what, what we do to receive it is God provides the word.
We believe that's how we choose.
That's how we, that's how we receive it.
If the female.
Receives the male, you know, or, you know, what we think of as,
as male, you know, in the physical, but, you know,
we receive God's word, but we do not provide our own seed.
Nothing.
We receive God's word.
But we do not provide our own seed.
We receive God's word, but we do not provide our own seed.
And that's how we, that's how we receive it.
Then that one that, but both parties,
regardless of who initiates and regardless of who receives,
even the one who effortlessly receives.
Both provide a seed.
If the female.
Receives the male.
We receive God's word, but we do not provide our own seed.
Nothing can manifest.
Now it does when God's teaching us, remember, you know,
he's teaching us concepts.
He'll create a fake reality like we do for our children.
But then eventually he's like, okay,
now you're mature enough to create reality.
So.
Anyway, as we mature in how to shift into rest,
that's why we're noticing that things change. You're like, well,
When I first started the rest intensive, you know, this,
this happened the first day and this happened the first time.
And as we go on, it changes. Cause God's like, no, no, no.
Now you collaborate with me.
Now you've matured enough. I you're old enough.
As it says in Ezekiel 16, you're old enough for love.
You're old enough for both you get for you to affect me and for me to
affect you. So provide your own seed.
And the seed that we provide is intention.
It's our own decision, our own free will.
That is what we provide that collaborates with God of his intention and
his free will, which allows something to, to finally manifest,
which allows us to move forward.
And that's what we're trying to do.
And that's what we're trying to do with the rest,
including that feeling.
So.
Anyway.
And then we get to plant that seed in the ground and let it.
Let it go. Right.
about when God gives us a seed and, and, you know, the two
seeds can join and, and it's fertilized. The woman's, the
woman's seed is fertilized. It sits in the womb for a
gestation period. And just like a seed that's planted in the
ground, Jesus talked about this, just like a seed that's planted
in the ground, our seed with the Lord dies. It doesn't just
go into hibernation. Jesus said it dies. It has to die before.
But remember, there's always resurrection on the other side
of death through Jesus finally, you know, because he removed
the sting of death. So there's always resurrection on the other
side, but it does have to die is in it looks like there's no
hope. And it's all gone. I mean, like completely, it's not like,
oh, well, it's quiet. And when are we going to be active? It
looks like there's no hope. And that's what happens. And then in
bed, just because that then God always has life after death. And
so that whole death, letting go, God gives us the seed, you know,
and gives us the seed. We're collaborating with him. The seed
starts and we and we're wondering, so why isn't anything
happening? gestation period, you know, in a in a woman, it's nine
months. And I don't know, I think it's like what in a in a
in a fish or two, or something like that. It's like, I don't
know, three days. And then and then an elephant's a year and a
half. I mean, just a station period, you know, it's just very
different. And there's a gestation period with the Lord
while the thing is growing. And there's a certain part, a
certain point at which when that sprout starts creeping up, that
he says, Okay, now I want you to start collaborating with me even
more. And the fact that you you help me water it, and you have
helped me make sure that it has access to sunlight, to sunlight,
and you nurture it, and you nurture it and all of that, but
you don't get to eat of the tree yet, because it's not mature. So
God gives us a seed, but we there's a just there's death,
then there's resurrection and gestation period before there's
heart and in growth before there's harvest. So anyway, but
so I'm thinking about the death part of it, because that's,
that's interesting, because I always thought, when you talked
about the hibernation, as much as I know, like about death of a
vision and stuff, but I always thought it was kind of like a
sort of mock death, because it doesn't really die, die, like
it's buried in the ground, but it doesn't really, like, even
when a man and a woman come together and create life, like
it does, it doesn't have to die first, right? Or does it like,
maybe I'm just scientifically not not quite there yet. But how
does it? Where does it say in the Bible about that? And like,
does it really die? Like, or is that just figurative language?
And so it is figurative, but it's true at the same time. So
death is, um, let me show you. Well, I don't know if I have it
written on here. I talked about it at the conference. And so
those who, you know, who watched it, you'll, you'll remember this
part. This right here is death. Think of it. Everything down
here. And think of it just like that. Sorry, is like the ocean,
everything down here is in the ocean and everything up here is,
is the air in the sky. So this right here, that ocean line is
death. So in really, there's in but we know that in an ocean
line, all that is is where the water, there's the border
between where the air and the water meet. There's no such
separate thing from the ocean and the air that's called the
waterline. It's not a place. It's not a thing. It's not a,
it's not, it's just not, it's not a space. It's just simply
the transition between not being in water and now being in air.
So that's all that death is that we're talking about. And, and I
know that that's a that is very confusing because it's not
accurate, which is why Jesus tried to avoid talking about is
saying the word death. He didn't like to acknowledge it because
he was going to have victory over death. But the reason why
we keep using it and, and remember that he removed the
sting of death, meaning that death, what death meant is that
there was something on the other side where there was lack. There
was, and then there's not anymore, you know, it's
existence and the non-existence, but that doesn't exist anymore
because when we go DASA stay, when we, when we go through a
transition now, there's always life on the other side. But the
reason I keep referring to death is the fact that there's so much
of that old man mindset that we still have.
that we're, it helps us understand what's going on.
So that's the only reason why I use the word death
and why Jesus used the word death.
When you talked about the whole seed thing,
because normally he didn't like to talk about death.
Lazarus, he did not like to admit,
he didn't want to say the word that he was dead.
Remember, until they kept prompting him
and he was like, fine, fine, he's dead.
Because he understands, okay, that's just their language.
It's the only way that they're able to grab the concept.
So it's kind of like people, it's like talking in English,
but then people only understand something in Greek.
And if English is their second language
and they're not getting the English word,
you use the Greek word.
You're like, okay, well, this isn't a real word,
but hey, here's the Greek word for you.
It's that kind of a thing.
It's a bit of the crossover that we're still in,
in trying to get a new language for things
that we haven't admitted and haven't walked in
of the New Testament, sorry, the New Covenant.
Well, it is the New Testament, but the New Covenant.
But we're so used to talking about the word death.
So I use that because it helps us get the concepts
that I'm talking about easier as in there's a transition,
a letting go and a release.
That's all that death is, is the action of letting go.
You're not going anywhere and you're not in a place
and you haven't died.
It's simply the transition between holding
and not holding anymore.
The movement between the holding and the not holding anymore
is the death.
It feels like death to us in the soul and the body
because there's pain involved, there's struggle.
So that's why I use the word.
And that's why I believe personally
that I think Jesus might've been using that word.
And so that's what that is.
It's simply a reflection of a transition.
And so anyway,
and the fact that things look like there's no hope.
We think as soon as we have a seed,
as soon as there's conception that,
oh, something's supposed to happen.
And I was like, no, not yet, not yet.
And so to us, how we respond is, it's like death.
It's like, but God, you said it
and now are you retracting it?
Is it, you're the one who promised
and so now you've taken it away.
God gave the promise to Abraham
and Isaac wasn't born for 10 more years.
It's just, it looks like a death, but it's not.
And so, and that's the thing about a birth
is that when he's still in the,
when the baby is still in the womb, it's not out yet.
Just because the baby has been conceived
doesn't mean that you can have it out
and hold it and all of that.
And so it's as if it's, it's not dead, obviously,
but just kind of, again, just those pictures
that the Lord uses of things is in hiding.
It's in hiding, it's being protected,
it's being woven together.
There's a process it's going through.
So that's what he talks about
when he talks about the seed dying.
He doesn't mean that it like literally dies.
But it's, you can't see it.
Yeah, it's being woven together.
And like, as it's being woven together,
we get to let go of it, right?
And allow it to, quote unquote, die, but.
Because it looks like it's actually not gonna happen.
God said it was gonna happen and we got really excited.
And now it looks like it's not gonna happen, you know?
I mean, think of the fate that we would have to have
back in Bible times.
If a woman's belly did not grow,
when during the gestation period.
And you didn't see anything.
You're just like, am I pregnant?
Am I not pregnant?
And you wouldn't know for nine months, you know?
And so things can just kind of,
again, these are all pictures.
God talks to us like we talk to five-year-old children
in Sunday school.
Using these crayon drawings, you know,
and these ideas and these concepts to get us an idea,
but of something that we don't have a grid for
in the spirit until we can choose to let go
of all of these pictures that he's given us.
And, you know, that we thought, oh, well, it was,
God doesn't want us to get, to be very rigid
in how we hold on to all of these.
That, oh, well, it looks exactly like this.
And why isn't it looking exactly like this?
God's like, no, it was a springboard.
It was a springboard to get you to trust me enough
to finally let go of the picture
and start to move into an unknown
that this world can't picture for you.
I want you to have more than what this world will allow you
to mentally and emotionally process and logically.
consume. That's why we have to get to this point in our spirit, where we just know things,
and we don't can't even articulate it same thing with our identity can articulate our
identity by telling you what I know my identity. I move into that place in the Lord and I'm
like, nobody can sway me from who I know I am, but I can't even articulate to myself
who I am. I don't have a grid for it, you know, anyway. Hopefully that's helpful.
Mm hmm. Yes, very helpful. Thank you. You're welcome. And let me see. So it is time but
does someone have another question before we go? So everyone good. Okay. And I guess
that will be it. The only other thing is, and some people were not on here. And some
of the new people were on here when we when we started. And so just to let everybody know
how these live q&a's work is when you have a question, you can unmute yourself. Otherwise,
I have everybody always muted, because feedback that can happen during the recording. And
because like my voice or somebody else's voice will like go through the computer and then come
back into their into go like through the speakers and then back into the microphone. So you can just
unmute yourself if you have a question and or raise your hand or something, you know, raise
your hands like there's a like an emoji, raise your hands in there. Or, or you can like mention
something in the chat that you have a question, you know, whatever. And then as far as, as like
the interaction, and the this is a q&a, where people are asking me questions about what it is
that that I believe about particular things that they questions that they have about about rest.
So it's a it's not a collaborative effort where we're all just kind of offering, you know, all
of our, all of our thoughts and ideas. I am very happy for people to, you know, to, to, you know,
say hello, and whatever in the group. But as far as like, this is an actual q&a. And if people want
other people's input, you know, beyond myself, because they are more than welcome to ask for
that, they can do it in a post in the, in the, what do you call it in the group. And if people
post and so y'all may know this from looking at the announcements that if people mention
in the in the question that it's specifically to me, like if they're addressing me specifically,
then their question is just for me. And there, there's a vulnerability that they that they've
opened up to just be like, okay, this is hard enough for me to be vulnerable to like, tell
everybody this is my question. But I'll ask Ashley, but it's another level of vulnerability
to open up to the whole group and say, Hey, I'm welcoming anybody's input, you would like to
like to give me feedback, they allow them to specifically ask for that if they are asking
for everyone's input. Otherwise, I ask that people honor the fact that to not give each other advice,
unless someone asks you for it. Otherwise, just encourage and uplift each other. And
you can share your own stories and whatever. But please don't teach or advise each other,
unless you're being asked for it. So unless they're asking you for it. And that's just a
measure to protect everyone and to let everyone feel safe enough to be as vulnerable as as y'all
have very graciously chosen to be with all of us. So we appreciate that. So okay, if there
are any more questions, I will see y'all next Thursday. So hope y'all all have a really good
night. It was really good to see all of you. Bye