Okay.
Hey, Alana.
Hey.
Hi.
How's it going?
How are you?
Good.
Oh, your cough's still kicking around, eh?
Yeah.
But it.
Goodness.
But my mom reminded me that this is normal for when I get allergies,
that the cough has tended to stay around for a while,
like as in weeks.
So anyway, but it's getting better. It absolutely is.
Okay.
There we go.
That's better.
Yeah.
I think I just need more air.
Yes.
Sometimes that happens.
I was watching, I watched the first.
Like the first night of the conference.
Yeah.
It was good. I was, so I was trying to do the exercise and.
I was like, okay, so this is what I did.
And I tried to mix that into this and I found.
The whole idea around the theta waves that we were talking about.
And I found this, like, it's called like pure.
Pure theta waves meditation. And it's literally like.
Like that's what it sounds like.
So I tried to mix that in.
And it was so tricky. I found like I kept.
It's like, I don't know what it is, but it's like my,
I'm in so much stress.
Like my body's so stressed.
And my fibromyalgia is acting up and like,
I'm in still in that place where I don't want to go to work.
It just feels very.
I don't like the word overwhelming,
but like a lot of pressure from different directions,
a lot going on from different directions. And I.
I'm just trying to figure out how to navigate it.
Cause it has been really.
Interesting.
And I just don't know how to get my body to release.
Like, I feel like my mind is more at rest.
But my body's hasn't caught up with my mind yet. It's weird.
Like, does that make any sense?
So the thing with.
Obviously dropping down into theta,
obviously is very helpful because that's what is going to drop your
brainwaves down and then your body can be at rest.
And your body will stop being.
As much in fight or flight. So if.
So remember that.
I'm trying to think.
Sorry, but.
A lot of things going on in my head.
Let's talk about you.
Let's talk about what's going on with you.
I love hearing what's going on with you.
Let's talk about what's going on in your pretty little head.
Oh, no, no.
I love hearing what's going on with you.
Let's talk about what's going on in your pretty little head.
Oh, no, no.
What I meant was like a lot of things that you were talking about.
It was like, okay.
Yes. And there's this and this I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to.
Say imply that I was ignoring what you were saying that I was thinking
of other things. No, it was all of these other things you're talking
about.
Well, I can come at it from this direction at this direction.
And.
But first of all, so let me back all the way up.
Okay.
And that is by the way. Hey, Natalie. Hey, Sylvia.
Hello.
And by the way, Natalie, you came in originally as Brandy.
It must be a channel that y'all are on.
Where it has her name, but now switched over to your name.
That happened with somebody else that I was with.
Where.
They shared somebody.
They did a lot of zoom meetings with someone.
And.
I didn't invite them to the meeting.
It was.
Somebody else.
To me that they.
Like I said, did I work with.
But anyway,
so going all the way back to what you're talking about,
about doing the exercise where you present yourself to the Lord.
That one.
Is not a actual.
It's not.
It's not really something that we're doing, but.
That is presenting ourselves to the.
To our lover.
Very intimately.
And what it is that I've described.
Is.
Is how Jesus came to me.
I was sitting on my bed.
And maybe he just came and did that in,
but I thought that I had come up with the idea,
but whatever it is, that's how he did it.
And then I talked about, you know,
how to look into his eyes and whatever.
And I kind of walk people through that.
However, that is just to give people a place to start
if it's helpful.
If they're like, I have no idea what you're talking about,
Ashley, how do I do this thing?
It kind of gives them a place to start.
However, we have to allow the Lord to come to us
the way that he wants to.
So this isn't an exercise of it has to be done this way
because not everyone's gonna see Jesus like that
because it's important that we allow God to love us
the way that he wants to and to come to us
the way that he wants to come to us.
And so other people are going to experience it
very differently.
It may not be coming and sitting on the side of the bed
or just coming and looking at his eyes and all of that.
That works for some people,
but it doesn't work for everybody.
Why?
Because we're putting ourselves in an intimate position
with our Lord, meaning that he gets to choose,
he gets to choose how he wants to interact with us.
So just take what my experience and what I've done,
because it's not the only way in which I've experienced
Jesus and been, you know, intimate with him is,
but just, so just take that as a place
from what you could start.
And if you're already way past that,
which you probably are, then,
because that's like for beginner beginners,
like, I don't know what we're doing, Ashley.
It, you know, being past that,
you just put yourself in a position and want the Lord
and desire and intend for the Lord to come to you
and then say how he does it.
And anyways, that is extremely important.
So it's not really an exercise that we need to worry about,
you know, am I in Theta and all of that?
If you, if we're in a lot of resistance,
again, in our mind and in our body,
if it's that in fight or flight,
then it can help by us shifting down into Theta
because we're creating less physical resistance
in the physical world that can,
we can use as a tool to help us get over it,
to help us push past the resistance
and then be able to make ourselves
to then go to another level,
to be able to choose to be vulnerable to the Lord
in a deeper way.
So that's the benefit of Theta.
We don't have to be in any of those brainwave,
any specific brainwave in order to be intimate with the Lord
and experience the Lord, hear the Lord and all of that.
But if we're struggling to,
then we can use dropping down into Theta
and then presenting ourselves before the Lord.
So you'll do that first
and then present yourself to the Lord
because you drop yourself out of that,
make your, drop yourself,
dropping yourself down into Theta
where there's less resistance,
you're more susceptible and to suggestion, et cetera.
Then from that place,
now that you've dropped all your resistance
and it might take a while to drop down into Theta,
you're dropping your brain waves,
but it, but when you do that,
your body should respond
and it shouldn't be your flight or fight or flight anymore.
If it's in fight or flight, we're not in Theta
because Theta allows our body to fondly rest.
Now, if we dropped further into Delta,
our body gets active again
because one or the other is always needing to be active
to try to protect ourselves.
So I'm just telling you,
you know what, you know,
it's probably happening in the body.
And so you would just do some other,
I don't know, there's other tools
that you can use to help your body get out of fight
or flight, which thinks,
cause it thinks it's not safe.
And one of the things that you can do
is you can do breathing.
I explained breathing in there in session four
because Linda Ordway asked that question in the session.
You can hear her asking the question
and, or maybe you can't hear it, but I repeat it.
That if breathing, breathing gets in my way,
it does not help me.
I have, I struggle connecting with it
because it actually causes me more stress.
And I'm thinking, okay, I've got to breathe just right.
So I'm learning, I'm learning how to actually use my breath
to help me slow, to help me slow my body down.
But if breath might be something that would be useful
for you and you, there's different things you could do.
You could do the box breathing, you know,
out for four, hold for four, in for four, hold for four.
And it's, it's the box
cause you stop at the top and the bottom.
I like cadences like that.
The other thing that you can do
is you breathe in really quickly
and you breathe out very, very, very slowly.
Cause again, the focus is always on release.
Even when, even when people teach breath work.
They always focus on the release, not on the taking in.
Then another thing that you can do,
and this is honestly my personal favorite,
is I really like the one where you breathe in really fast
and you breathe out really, really slow.
But my personal favorite is something
that has a very simple cadence to it,
which is breathe in really, really slow,
breathe out really, really slow.
And by really, we're talking like on a six count
or an eight count, something like that.
And just really, really slow.
That's helpful to me.
And that will begin to force your mind
and your body to start slowing down
and stop being in fight or flight.
Part of it is also a choice that we make even there
of release, going through those practical shifting tools
and saying things like, you know,
the no shame, no condemnation, or just stop.
What are you doing?
Just stop.
And you actually have to choose to let go.
Choose that whatever it is you're holding on to, to let go.
Another thing that I used to do,
I used to literally go through every body part.
Where did I start?
Let's just say that I used to start with the top of my head.
I know this might sound really weird.
I used to start with the top of my head
and relax the top of my head without touching it.
I would just think about the muscles up there
and then relax.
And part of it, you know,
it was like lifting of the eyebrows.
You know, we don't realize how tense we are
that we've lifted our ears.
And so we've become more aware.
And then we move it down to our eyebrows,
move down to our ears, move down to your tongue.
And the tongue sometimes will be on the top of your mouth
and relax that in the mouth.
You relax your jaw and you relax the muscles in your neck
and you just move down.
You move down.
My favorite is when I finally get to my legs
and I realize how tense that that's where a lot of times
I personally hold a lot of stress is in my legs.
And I go through every single body part and relax.
Then I do breath work.
Then I move into theta.
But focus on the body first.
You always want to go with the lowest strata first,
spirit, soul, and body.
If you're struggling here, you can't,
if you cut it off here,
well, sometimes the body doesn't get the idea.
So then what do you do?
Like, cause I feel like when I'm breathing,
when I'm in theta, like when I listened to the theta,
wah, wah, wah, like it was, I was able to relax my body,
but as soon as I turned it off, the stress came back.
And I feel like because my mind is relaxed enough,
like I'm not focused,
like I've literally hardly done any work because I'm like,
I just can't at the moment.
Like I can, but I can't.
Like, it's just like my whole system needs a break.
So I have been detoxing, but I don't know what I'm detoxing.
And because my mind is at peace,
I think that's a good place to be for the most part.
Like it's at peace, but my body is just,
like I even looked up the alkaline diet because I'm like,
maybe my body's too acidic.
Like, I don't know what's going on in it,
but my whole physicality is just literally stuck
in fight or flight.
And I feel like there's a pressure valve
that I need to release.
And stuff's been coming up for me actually a little bit.
Like, I don't know if I ever told you this,
but when I was a baby,
did I ever tell you what happened to me when I was a baby?
Okay.
When I was a baby, my dad told me this about 15 years ago.
I had no idea.
When I was like two and three years old,
I was really violent and I never knew why.
And then I found out that when I was a baby and I would cry,
my mom would get frustrated and hit me.
And it's kind of like shaken baby,
except she would just hit me and get frustrated with me.
And she had a lot of,
she has a lot of mental health issues even still,
but back then it was way worse.
And she was stressed and depressed and all that stuff,
but she would get angry.
And I think part of me wonders if there's like a root there
of me being this helpless baby,
crying out and getting hurt instead of getting cared for.
And I think she cared for me too.
But in some moments she was hitting me.
So it's very disorganized, right?
And I wonder sometimes if I'm still holding that in my body
and if I am, how do I get rid of it?
Like something that's so deeply rooted.
Yeah, well, so that's extremely interesting.
And that makes complete sense
that the body's still in that water flight
because when it rested, it wasn't safe.
When it rested, it wasn't.
And you know that Linda Ordway has talked about that
in the group as well,
has talked about the fact that the Lord revealed to her,
and she's mentioned it twice.
She's mentioned-
in these Q and A's and she mentioned it in a post recently
that the Lord told her that when she was at rest,
she was molested.
Every time she rested, that's when it would happen.
And so she just learned to stay busy.
But that was kind of like a psychological thing.
So it's the same thing with you,
only it happened just like her,
if it did happen in the physical body,
what psychological belief do we start to hang on to?
And so if the body thinks no,
I'm actually unsafe when I'm at rest
and therefore I always have to be on guard.
I always have to be ready.
So anyway, that God can still heal all of that
at a very deep root level.
And by letting us know,
us agreeing with him that we're actually safe.
And then that moves down into the soul
and down into the body.
Now, as far as actually getting your body to the point
where it's relaxed enough to,
that it doesn't have to be completely relaxed
in order for you to still, you know,
connect with the Lord and meet with him and all of that.
It's, and he can't, and it's his love
that always breaks down our walls,
that breaks down our barriers.
And it, because remember that we're one with him
in spirit already, and that's where we're,
that's the seed of our identity.
That's where we're one with him.
We're just bringing that,
we're bringing our soul into agreement with it
and then our body into agreement with it,
but it has to come down.
And so we do have to come down through the soul first,
so to speak, and our soul has to actually believe it.
And that's how we can overcome.
Even when people go under hypnosis
and they try in order to try to heal from traumas,
because that's some of the method
that people have used to overcome traumas.
What it is, is they're going down into theta
and they're retelling themselves a different story.
And not that, oh, well, such and such didn't happen,
but they re-explain to themselves,
okay, look, you know, I'm now an adult and I am here
and that child, I can now,
and they'll sometimes like talk to like their younger self
and whatever and give them as the adults
that they didn't have,
come back as the adult that that child needed
and then talk to themselves and heal that way.
But, and that's done in theta,
but understand that what it is that they're doing
when they do something like that as well,
is they are changing their belief.
And so that's ultimately what we have to do.
It's a lot more work to do it that way.
And it doesn't actually heal our belief about God.
It can heal our belief about that circumstance,
but that circumstance was a symptom.
Ooh, sorry, just a sec.
There we go.
And anyway, so that's ultimately what the body is doing
is it subconsciously believes something
that the soul has given an instruction for.
So the soul has to give it new instruction,
whether, you know, through the method that I talked about,
which is just like one method that people have used,
or which by the way,
when they're in the hypnosis that I'm talking about,
they are fully aware of themselves.
It's not like they're in some weird like trance
and someone's talking to them and telling them what to do.
That's not what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about a different type of thing.
I'm just talking about the fact that their brainwaves
are so slow and they're able to be in less resistance.
And then they just,
they train themselves to believe something different.
So my whole point is that whether, regardless,
even the non-believers understand
that use methods like that,
that even non-believers understand
it's ultimately the belief that are,
it's ultimately our soul's belief
that is causing our body to respond like that.
So anyway, that the Lord in his love
and committed in continuing to present yourself to him
and choosing him that can overcome all of this other,
that can overcome all of these symptoms.
Again, that's ultimately what's going on.
I just gave you a lot there.
Is that helpful?
Well, I think I know all of that,
but I still like I'm coming into an agreement with God.
I'm believing him.
I'm choosing him, all of that.
And my body's still,
it's like this weird phenomenon.
That's why I looked into the alkaline diet.
Cause I thought, is it my food?
Is it that I'm doing something to my body
that's causing it to be really inflamed?
Cause it could be something like that.
But it's, I think there's something that I just can't access, even when I choose God,
it's like my body still won't relax unless I'm actually in a place lying down, very peaceful,
listening to whatever, calming music, closing my eyes.
But then the rest of the day, I'm just going about my day in my body's totally in fight
or flight.
And it's actually been really hard to function because it's so much in fight or flight that
I'm tired.
Yeah.
So there's different things you can do if you, you can choose a tool that you can use.
God gives all kinds of tools.
There's things like your diet, there's things like supplements, there's things that, you
know, essential oils, oils, there's prescriptive medications, there's all kinds of things that
you can do in order to help.
You know, if, if, if, you know, while we're learning, while, you know, the body is, is
learning to come more and more in alignment with what it is that you're choosing there,
you can absolutely use all of those things, just, you know, declare, Hey, the Lord gave
me good gifts.
Lord, I'm, thank you so much.
I'm receiving this as your good gift to me.
I really appreciate it.
And you can use that as far.
And then as far as like anything else that I was, that I was talking about, that's just
something that you can, that, that might just happen over time things.
It's not like that, like a, a switch just flips over an entire area of our lives by
shifting interest in a moment, because then we're triggered again by a deeper aspect of
that same lie that we're still believe that we still believe we're triggered again later,
or maybe it's just not, or that what it is that we are believing about the Lord isn't
getting deep enough to affect that particular part that's in such accusation that the body
is reacting in fight or flight.
And so you just keep, keep at it.
These things won't just, it don't always just flip in a moment and over and overnight that
you just, you, but so that's part of the, it's fascinating that part of the resistance
that we have in the Lord against the Lord is that manifests itself is what I'm saying.
Part of how the resistance manifests itself is the fact that we allow things like this
to bother us that, that fight, this shouldn't be.
So that situation of like, it shouldn't be like this, that is actually holding on to
the situation and causing it to continue to stay.
And we can't let go of it if we're thinking it shouldn't be like this.
So that's when in the practical shifting tools, I recommend going to the no judgment and just
releasing ownership and situation like, okay, this is this, I'm not saying that it shouldn't
be this way.
I'm not saying that it should be this way it is.
And then we can, then it helps us shift interest because there's no condemnation for it.
We're not accusing God for allowing it to continue to happen.
We're not being mad at our body because it's not obeying us because it's not coming into
alignment with the rest of us and what it is we want to do, you know, there's all of
this resistance.
And so, so the body continues to feel very unsafe because we are fighting it.
We are its enemy and we don't realize it, but that's what, what it is.
It's kind of like a parent.
It's kind of like a child with a parent who is trying very hard to help their child, but
they're so forceful about it.
Don't you know that you're loved and don't you understand that dah, dah, dah.
And the child's like, I'm really feeling very unsafe.
Like the way that they're doing it makes them feel very unsafe.
So even stuff like that are other additional are measures in which in those areas, we can,
we can shift into rest.
It's whenever something isn't going the way we want, we release that, we release that
not going the way that we want.
And that actually begins to break the stronghold.
That's helping to hold it on, hold it out, get to continue to hold on.
Now it doesn't mean that as soon as we release ownership of it, that your body's going to
stop feeling that way.
It's a continual thing that we have to have to have to teach it and present to it.
Just like it wasn't just a one-time thing that, that, that caused that belief to be
held on to.
It happened multiple times.
And it was probably not just that it was probably other things that, that your body received
that message from as well thinking, Oh, this is just like this.
So therefore, wow, it must be really true because I'm experiencing it all over the place.
So it's the same thing in the unlearning doesn't mean that it takes as long to unlearn as we
did to learn it.
My point is just simply the fact that it won't, won't always just change the flip of the switch.
And it's very important for us to release.
no condemnation to release judgment of the situation and all of that. That will, honestly,
I can tell you from personal experience, really does help. When I couldn't shift into rest in a
particular area, I stopped condemning myself for not shifting and I stopped requiring that it be
different. In other words, the requirement meaning like holding God accountable and that fear that,
oh my word, it's going to stay like this and why can't I get out of it? All of that holds on to it
and we don't realize it. We have to end up doing the opposite of what it is that you think that
you'd have to do to get past it. I know it's not fun. I'm very sorry. I really am. I am telling
you though the honest to goodness truth about it from personal experience about what really does
work. In the meantime, you're welcome to use all kinds of tools that the Lord gives us.
Thank you. You're welcome.
Hey, Ashley. Yeah. Can I add to that? Because I feel like it's like all in the similar
conversation. Because one of the things I still struggle with is like where, and I'm like
wondering maybe I just need to like make myself do these acts, you know, maybe, yeah, the actions
that you're talking about earlier to like get myself to calm down because I still notice in
the evening, sometimes it'll be, I'll be asleep and then I'll wake up with like so much anxiety
and early in the morning before it's time to wake up like a couple hours early. It's like my mind
starts waking up sooner than I'm ready to. And it's like the anxiousness gets so bad and I don't
know. So like I'm fighting it because I'm like, I'm not ready to get up yet. And I'm don't want
to be thinking about it. So I'm like fighting myself for like two hours, like, you know,
whether it's in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning before it's even time. And so
like, I don't know why that comes on out of nowhere. And then like, should I just like force
myself to get up and then so that I can relax myself better. Like, I don't know what to do to
make that go. I feel like that's when the enemy knows he can attack me. I don't know. Yeah.
Well, how do you feel when you normally wake up? I mean, like when you wake up at like six or seven
or whenever you wake up, like the whole day without the anxiety. No, like regardless,
like just like I don't know, like even on the days that, that you ignore that you have anxiety,
you know, just whatever, when you wake up, cause you said that when you wake up before you're
ready to get up, you're highly anxious. But what about like when you wake up at your normal time,
even if you've been anxious, regardless, how do you feel when you wake up in the morning and you
are supposed to get out of bed? It is time to get out. Yeah. I, I think I feel, I feel like
better, I guess. Like I feel, I feel like it's just a normal day. I'm going and I start my routine
and not much of that. Like I wake up frustrated though. When I know I've been fighting myself for
like that night is like, I don't know if that answers your question or not, but do you wake up
feeling anxious is what I'm asking. Like, like you don't. Okay. Do you think that it's because
you have a routine and you know what to do that you're not feeling anxious? And if you didn't
have that, well, then you would, or, or not. I'm just, I'm just asking deeper questions.
No, I think sometimes no. Cause I don't feel like the, I don't stick to, I mean,
if my routine is off, you mean like, well, that make me, I think whether I have my routine or
keep it or whatever, like, doesn't matter. I don't know. I feel like I just get all these
thoughts swirl in my mind, like wakes me up and it can be about money. It can be about business.
It can be a conversation I had. And it was like, my, my mind will wake up to it. And then it will
be like on repeat. And it's like my whole body just goes into this, like awful feeling.
Yeah. So when we're asleep at night, our, our mind is processing all of these things
that, that we have gone throughout the day and that we've done throughout the day or what it,
or, you know, that we have and that we have on our minds just in general during that phase of life.
And it is trying to sort through and process all of those things. And that's why they say
it's so important for us to go into our run cycle because it's kind of like a computer program.
And the fact that it allows everything to, to be processed all of these, all of these things,
like, do you remember when we used to defrag computers? Do you remember that? So kind of
like, it's like defragging is trying to take all of this space it's created. And then it's trying
to organize everything and process it. And so it sounds like your brain is acting in self-preservation.
and thinking that there's something to worry about because that's what, that's what the soul
is believing. And so it, it, when it comes to that, it wakes up. Um, so that's a possibility.
The other possibility, excuse me, is, um, it's just the fact that, well, I say it's another
possibility, I suppose it's just really kind of maybe the same thing, but just that you have all
of this stuff that's, that's being, um, that's being worried about and subconsciously, subconsciously
it's, you're still, you're still worried and you're still anxious. And then, and then at night,
those things just are, I don't know, just not, I don't want to say coming to light,
but they're just being focused on or, or whatever. So what I would recommend, um, is, um, obviously,
you know, over time, those things will lessen as you in real life, give that conversation and
money and business or whatever, the different aspects of money and the different aspects of
business or whatever it is you're concerned about is you give them over more and more.
To releasing them, releasing the hold, releasing the result up to the Lord,
releasing yourself in the burden and the responsibility of having to create a result
in those areas more and more, that thing will die down. But in the meantime, what you can do
is, um, what I would recommend is talking to your soul and your body before you go to bed
and sending it very clear intention. In other words, deciding for yourself that this is what
you want for you, that, that there's nothing that, um, it needs to figure out while you're asleep.
It doesn't need to, um, you know, you can figure it out when you wake up,
you know, this time, these eight hours or 10 hours or however long it is,
these are for sleep. And we are going to, um, and you're going to do only that task
during this time. And of course it's doing all kinds of other things. It's like
doing all of this stuff, but it doesn't need to solve problems. It doesn't need to be worried.
It doesn't need to be, you know, whatever. And, um, and basically kind of like giving it as,
as a King, you know, talking to it and giving it instruction of what it is that you want it to do.
So relieving of it, this burden and this responsibility that it feels that it has
to carry throughout the day, letting it know you don't hold it responsible for it at night.
So it can go home. It can leave its work at work and go home and not pick its workout back up until
it gets back into the office, basically. And so just letting it go because the boss is telling
it that it's actually released to do. So the boss is saying, this is what I want from you.
You don't have to do anything. Um, instead, as opposed to a command, like, this is what I want
you to do, but just really like, Hey, look, I don't, um, you know, I don't care how much or
how little you've gotten done on this project. What you don't have to do anything else between
now and such and such a time. So you can just let it go, go home and watch Netflix, go to,
you know, just do whatever, you know, you just, just tell it. Um, I'm being funny about a real
boss, but, but just, but, you know, just, just tell it, Hey, look, you're, you're off the hook.
Go play, go, go, go do what you want to do. You've been taking care of me all day. You've
been so worried, you know, you've been trying to be, to be there and make sure that everything
is taken care of. Go, go play. This is your time. I don't need you to do anything or solve
anything for me right now. And so give it freedom, give it play time, relief, relief,
responsibility, as opposed to telling it to do something. Hey, look, you don't have to do this
anymore. You know, let it go and hand it, hand it off and let, let's set it down or, you know,
whatever helps. Um, so that's what I would recommend doing. And, and no, it may not happen
the first night. It might very well, it's most likely. Well, but you just continue to tell
yourself that. And don't just tell yourself that hoping it'll happen. Cause remember the very last
session that we were talking about at, um, or it's the second to last one that we were talking
about at the conference about intention. The power is in the intention that you expect it to happen.
Not that you hope that it'll happen. Not that you're waiting, you know, in eager anticipation
to see the next morning if it'll happen. Nope. You say it, you determine it. You determine that
that is the world you are living in and you can create your own world. It's kind of like this
intention that you put towards it. Like I can create my world. I can determine that this is
true. I can determine that this will be true simply because I want it to be. So it's weird.
It's like, you feel like you're creating your own world and it feels very wrong, but you're just,
you're acting in your position as a son of God, always shift yourself into the Lord. First,
you know, you're sure that you're talking from that position of being in the Lord, not in autonomy
in the Lord. And men speak from that place of this is the will of a son of God. Who's not afraid.
This is what I desire. This is what I intend. And this is what I want. And from that place,
speaking authority.
And it will listen. I promise you may not be the first night, most likely will be. But if you keep I've had people tell me that they they did this every night for a week.
And they said that that they said, Actually, I don't know what happened. All I know is that the stress is gone.
I didn't do anything different other than talk to my body and soul every night and now a week later, I'm noticing the difference I didn't the first night, but a week later, I'm not noticing the difference.
Okay, that's what I need to do. Because like everything you said, I'm like, that's what I think I'm like holding on to burden things that I feel like I'm in charge.
Yeah.
You can't let it down, even for the night because something might happen to it. You know, yeah.
We have to let it go. And then we it's important thing is that we let it go in during the day too. But at least you're awake to be able to start doing it again. But in the meantime, you don't want to be woken up by it because that's the time you set aside
for sleep. So you really focus on that. And then during the daytime, you can learn to release this burdens because we're not supposed to ever carry burdens, ever.
So we still do the things but we don't carry the burden of them. We don't carry the responsibility to create a result on them from our actions.
Hey, Ashley.
Yeah.
Can I ask her. Okay.
Yeah.
You're good. Okay. Yeah, go ahead, Laurie. I'm sorry. I'm laughing it at a, at something that Steph sent in the chat. She was saying she needs to do this. I'll even dream about cleaning house or working on a design.
I know we all do.
I can't say I haven't. I can't say that I have dreamed about cleaning in a long time, or have I, I don't know I wonder if I had a dream the other night about cleaning.
But anyway, yeah we all have our areas that we dream of doing it's our dreams can be very telling that can be how you feel in a dream, by the way, can be very indicative of how your soul is the paradigm through which your soul is viewing your life at the
So if you are viewing if you just if you feel like you, you just went through a dream you're like well nothing felt bad. I mean nothing was bad in the dream nothing bad happened, but I just feel negative felt negative throughout the whole thing.
It means that we could, it can mean that you're approaching life right now from this expectation that something bad is always going to happen.
So anyway, our dreams are very very telling that from ourselves. I mean, very telling on ourselves, but go ahead, Laurie.
My question was, when I guess because they were talking about health and it made me think, when do you know when it's time to start using tools or when it's just a fear in your life for example, over the time of the conference, I.
I've been struggling with I've been struggling with my weight for years and years and years and I mean I like I have been rapidly gaining weight very fast and like over the last couple of couple of years I mean I can easily gain like five pounds in a week
And the only way I can even lose a pound or two is if I go on this these like crazy like food fast diets. Well, over the conference, I just kind of started releasing that and I, I told God that I don't really think that that I need to put any more effort into this
because I think that he can do this without, without me doing anything, and I actually started losing weight, and like, two, three pounds like that was huge for me like before I would have to go on this, you know, whatever crazy diet or whatever and so it was like God was
like, you know, like I can do this and I started speaking positively to myself and all of that. But then there are still times when I feel like my clothes are getting tighter I start feeling kind of yucky, like, I'm kind of at that weight where I'm not necessarily
comfortable in myself, and like, I want to be able to go hiking and feel great and like not just feel like I'm like two minutes and I'm dying or whatever. So, my question is like, at what point do you know when, like, if I like reach reach like a weight stall where I'm
losing weight, and I feel like I'm not feeling good again. How do I know if that's just like another fear in my life or something, or when is it time to like start using other tools, I guess that's my question.
Like, is it like should I start incorporating diets now or is it just something else that I'm not releasing, I guess that's my question.
Okay, so the really cool thing is, you don't have to know.
I am actually on a diet right now. So, and, and I have struggled with my weight.
Since maybe high school, I guess, and I've gained and lost 40 pounds like it was nothing.
15, no, I gained 40 pounds before the semester was over.
And I don't know, I think it was like March,
maybe April of this semester in which I gained 40 pounds.
So, and then I lost 30 that summer in three months.
And then, cause I have tremendous amount of Jystlevin.
And so I lost 30 pounds and, or 40, I don't remember.
Anyway, and then I gained it all back slowly
over a certain period of time, but then I lost it all.
And I've basically been able, I've like wavered
on the scale, but I basically kept it off since
because of certain mindset changes and whatever.
However, what has really helped me,
and it's actually the reason why I'm on the diet right now
is because I choose.
So instead of thinking that I have to be different
than the way that I feel or the way that I am,
like in other words, that I have to be different,
my body has to be different
from the way that it currently is,
whether it be a feeling that I have like,
oh, I just don't feel good,
or that I don't like how I look
and I wish I looked different.
Regardless of which it is,
it helps if I shift into rest and choose,
okay, no, first of all, I release it.
Like what I was talking about with Alana
about releasing judgment and that releasing the idea
that it should be different than what it is.
I shouldn't weigh this.
I should weigh something different.
I shouldn't feel this way about how much I weigh.
I shouldn't, I should, you know,
or I was doing fine and now I'm not,
you know, what's wrong with me?
Just all of that is resistance.
All of that is self-condemnation
and it's letting all of that go.
As opposed to thinking, okay, well, no,
I'll let that go in a minute.
Right now that's fueling my motivation
to actually do something about this thing.
No, no, no.
This is actually the reason why we think
we have to do something is because of a root.
So let's get rid of the root first.
So no condemnation, no shame.
Releasing judgment of the situation,
thinking should be something different.
Letting go of that, doing all of that.
And then now that you do that,
and once you shift into a place of rest,
now you're in a position in which you're acknowledging
that you're in a position of power and authority in Christ.
And from that position, you,
the way that you operate in life
and the way that you approach things
and the way that you make decisions
is according to your will, not by fear.
Because when we believe that we're in the soul or the body,
we believe our identity is down there
and we believe that we're threatened.
We make decisions out of fear.
Like it shouldn't be like this.
It should be different.
I need to work at it.
But if we understand that we're actually spirit,
then we just think, okay, how do I wanna live?
What do I wanna be like?
How do I wanna feel?
So the reason that I'm on this diet now,
which is actually by my old standards,
a very unfortunate time to have, to be on this diet,
because I'll be, I'm visiting with friends,
cause I'm about to leave the country.
So I'm visiting with friends and staying with my parents.
And my mom, by the way, is an amazing cook.
My parents were wanting to take me out to eat.
We have a family in town,
which is all kinds of reasons why you think,
oh, well, here's my time.
I'm here in America.
Surely I need to eat all kinds of good food.
I did put in an order for my mom
so I made hamburgers before I leave.
But that'll be after my diet.
But anyway, my point is,
I'm able to make this decision
to be on a self-imposed diet
because that's what I chose that I wanted for me.
Like, what do I want out of life?
How do I wanna live?
I'm like, I like how I feel when I'm like that.
So, and it's gonna make me feel better
when I finally go on the trip.
And so, and it's gonna,
I feel better on the airplane, et cetera.
So I want that for me, not because I have to,
but because that's what I want.
That's how I want to live.
That's what I wanna give myself.
That's how I wanna be in creation.
That's how I wanna show up.
That's how my spirit wants to be manifested and made visible.
So I'm making, able to make decisions
out of will and intention
because sons of God go through life based on their will,
not by their fear.
And constantly trying to make a decision based on,
okay, which con do I wanna live with?
Am I willing to live with the most?
And this other con I'm gonna avoid
because I just like this one more.
So I really, I'm gonna try to avoid this one.
So I'll live with, I'll be willing to live with this con.
It's a very, what's the word?
Disempowering, weakening position
to put ourselves into making the decision.
decision of what, what pain in life we would prefer to avoid and which pain that we'd be
more willing to live with.
It's very disempowering way to make decisions, severe, weakened posture to make a decision,
but shifting into rest and operating from that perspective, excuse me, operating from
that perspective is, um, let's see, sorry, I'm going to put someone on me really quick
because we're getting feedback.
Um, sorry, Alicia, if you have a, do you have a question?
If you have a question, you can jump on right after, um, the, uh, I was just getting feedback
real quick, but, um, anyway, the, um, uh, it's, it's a much more powerful position and
then you can decide, I want to do this because this is what I want as opposed to all of the,
as opposed to being fueled by motivated by negative reasons.
Why?
No.
There's no reasons why you want to do it, choose it.
And you don't have to try to do it in your soul or your body because it's harder, you
know, shift up into your spirit and from your spirit, it's like me as a son of God, me from
my spirit.
How does my spirit, my relationship with God and how it's developed this far, how does
it want to be made visible?
How do I want to live?
Because I want to live like that.
And then it makes it, then you, from that position, you choose what tools do I want
to be part of my journey?
Do I want to, do I want to diet?
See, I'm on a diet.
That's a tool.
I want to diet.
Um, uh, you know, what, what tools do I want to use?
Which diet do I want to do?
Which, um, which exercise, how long do I want to do it, whatever, but do it because you
choose that's what you want to do for you.
Um, not because, well, this is what I'm told will help in order to get X, Y, and Z result.
If you're told that, and it gets X, Y, and Z result, that's fine.
And you can, you can choose it because of that, but choose it because you're like, I
like that.
I think that that's what I want to do.
Um, you can, you can make your will based off of knowledge that you've learned and thinking,
I want to do that.
I want to allow that to be part of my journey of losing weight or whatever, of manifesting
who it is that I look like in the spirit.
What would that look like in my physical body?
It's a much more powerful way to make a decision.
And it's a lot easier to, um, to, to diet like this.
I mean, when everybody else is having all kinds of good food around me and I'm smelling
all kinds of smells, I'm like, I have to be reminded again, why am I doing this?
I'm like, oh, that's right.
Because I feel good because this is what I want for me.
This is how I prefer to live life.
I prefer it more than the good food because I do.
No one told me that no one told me that I should feel that way.
I chose that.
That's what I wanted for me.
Does that make sense?
Yes.
That makes so much sense.
Thank you.
I like that.
Good.
Um, Alicia, did you have a question?
No, I think I must've accidentally unmuted.
Sorry.
Okay.
No, no worries.
No worries.
I just thought, oh, she probably had a question.
Cause sometimes people unmute when they have questions.
So, um, does anyone have, let me, I'll see if I've missed something in the chat.
Um, oh, so Alicia, it says, you said that you keep getting stress migraines.
I'm sorry.
Those will, um, uh, there are a lot of people that have stress migraines.
Um, if you, you probably remember Carrie's testimony in one of the five days, um, I'm
trying to remember.
Oh, it may have.
Yeah.
I think it was in the five day that you were part of either that, or it was in the one
before that either way, um, how she went through the whole process of choosing, of talking
from her soul, then talking to her soul and her body, then, um, then ended up deciding
she was going to use the tool and use, use, um, Advil and receive it as a good gift from
her father.
But then when her husband couldn't find any Advil, well, then she chose, I was like, okay,
God, what do I do?
And then what he specifically told her in her specific situation, I'm not saying everybody
needs to do this, but when she'd asked the Lord, she's like, Lord, I don't know what
to do.
I've done everything I know to do.
And, and all of this has always worked in my migraines so far.
And the Lord said, if you believe me, um, if you, if you believe me, then, then act
like it really is true.
If I say that you're healed and act like you're healed, that's what he said.
If you say that you're healed, then if I say that you're healed and act like you're healed.
And so she's, it's got out of bed, expecting it to, uh, expect your migraine to be gone,
you know, because God said so and didn't still pounded.
And so, but she's like, oh, but what did God say?
God told me, you know, if that I'm, if I'm healed, if he's declared, I'm healed to act
like I'm healed.
Then she went into the shower.
you know, mangering went away.
And then she got on and did that video testimonial,
like, I don't know, within like maybe 30 minutes later
and said, oh my goodness, guys, guess what just happened?
So that was fascinating because she went through
all of the different stages.
She did it, you know, from the soul perspective,
from the body perspective,
like trying to get Advil
and then went to the spirit perspective.
But there's all kinds of different ways
that you can choose to deal with it
specifically related to migraine.
But as far as the stress is concerned,
yeah, just whenever any stress comes up
that you can recognize,
or if you're experiencing the stress migraine,
whatever situation that you're in,
just choosing to let it go,
like doing one of those practical shifting tools,
like telling yourself to stop,
no shame or no condemnation, no judgment,
and then go throughout the rest of your day.
Now, I mean, if the migraine has debilitated you
when you were in bed,
well, I don't, you know,
I don't mean go throughout your day, you know,
then, you know, you just follow the Lord in that.
But what I mean is that you don't have to make
this big ordeal about it of like,
oh my goodness, it's gonna take five minutes
to deal with this thing.
Nope, just choose it, just do it the best of your ability,
and then release as much as you can, and then move on.
And that helps to neutralize the power
of things that come against us.
And it helps us just start to learn
a different way of believing.
And then Steph was talking about,
oh, well, I just talked a lot to you,
and Alicia did, even though you didn't ask a question.
Did that help at all?
Yeah, actually all the ladies you've answered
their questions have helped me too, so yeah.
Good, excellent,
because it's all the same answers anyway.
And then Steph was talking about the frustration levels
tend to run high in my dreams, and in some days, yes.
Yeah, and so frustration, interestingly, Steph,
comes from this desire to,
this desire that things should be a certain way,
and they're not, and we get frustrated.
Or this desire, and therefore we have a tendency
to want to control,
because we're trying to grab ahold tightly of it
and make sure that it happens a particular way,
because we think that it shouldn't happen a different way.
We think that there's going to be
a very horrible consequence,
either emotionally, psychologically, or physically,
if this is such, or spiritually,
if such and such doesn't happen.
And so it's a thread that can run through our lives
and then just manifest itself in how we interact
with different aspects of life.
And then if you throw on that,
and then on top of that, it can manifest itself,
it can reveal itself in our dreams,
in being frustrated,
that things aren't working the way
that they're supposed to.
So dreams, like I said, can be very telling.
So, that was 100% me tonight
discussing our unfinished house.
I'm so anxious for it to be done.
I'm so blame you.
I know that must be hard.
Dan didn't answer the way I thought he should.
There you go.
I'm so sorry.
I know, it's a team.
Everyone gets their say.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
But yeah, it's a good opportunity to release that too.
And so the fascinating thing
is that when we release things like that,
we release, okay, I'm going to release the fact
that of my belief that the house should be finished
and that it should be something different than it is,
or it should be done that by this time or whatever.
And releasing that doesn't mean that it won't be.
It just means that we're releasing our ownership of it
and we're releasing, holding God accountable to it.
And we're releasing ourselves
from being held accountable to it
because God doesn't hold us accountable for it.
And what that will end up doing is
it will end up doing two things.
For one, you'll find that when you shift,
that that will shift you into rest.
And when you're in rest in the Lord,
you finally have what you needed
that the finished house was expected,
that you expected the finished house to make you feel like
and to give to you.
And once you have it from shifting into rest in the Lord
and the house isn't even finished,
you don't care if the house is finished.
So it's done.
So it does two things.
It does that.
It releases you from being threatened
by something not being a particular way.
And it gives you what it is
that you were wanting to receive anyway
and gives it and you get it from the Lord.
And then what it also does is sometimes
that anxiety or self,
that, not that anxiety, what do you call it?
That anxiousness and all of that stress
that can actually hinder and result in anxiety.
exist things in the spirit and in the soul realm from allowing the house to be done.
So as soon as we start letting go, see our desire to control ends up, I talked about this in the
conference, our desire to control and, you know, being frustrated, like, oh, it should be a
particular way and trying so hard to make sure that it happens a particular way, ends up doing
the exact opposite of what we thought it would do. It ends up actually stifling and killing something
instead of bringing life. So we're able to allow life to flow from the spirit into the situation,
like into the finished project of the house, by actually letting it go instead of holding
on to it. By holding on to it, we're actually adding a death grip to it. Strong emphasis on
the word death. We actually are stifling the life out of it as opposed to actually giving it the
chance that it needs to actually, for the house to actually be done and to start moving towards
that direction and to be done faster, et cetera. If we let go, it gives it the opportunity sometimes
to be done faster. We're creating our own. I'm struggling with that so hard on this topic,
I know. For those who don't know, we moved in before we finished our trim and exterior. Here we
are years later, still not done. I've definitely had a death grip on this project, I think. I know,
I'm sorry. Now, I don't say all those things, you know, that we should ever, and I don't think
you're taking it like this, but just in case, that we need to feel like we are, what's the word,
to blame for. Oh, well, my life is like this because I, you know, take on condemnation for,
oh my goodness, I've caused that. That's not what I'm trying to say in all of this. I'm saying
that we can add our own element to what is happening physically and the physical environment
will respond to us and we're giving it resistance. Therefore, in order for things to actually move
along, we need to do the opposite of what we think that we need to do and that's to let go.
The reason that that's so scary is that is holding on to it is the thing that we thought
was going to give us the only hope we had of actually getting it done. So, the letting go of
it, we feel like we're actually, like there's actually significant danger there, significant
danger in letting it go and it's scary. So, it really does feel scary to try to let that go. We
think, oh my goodness, the only thing that's kept it going so far and the only thing that's kept it
actually together is because I'm holding it all together, you know, and I'm grabbing this other
piece and I'm trying so hard to hold it all together and we think that if we let it go,
oh my goodness, everything's going to go to hell in a handbasket and it's the opposite. It finally
is able to have life that we're, that we can pour into it and just like, just like our bodies,
it's very important for, like we were talking about with Lori, it's important to speak kindly
to our bodies, to treat them kindly, to not think of them as an enemy. Same thing with your house,
loving the house, not telling the house nice things. Sure, that, that can work too, but just
like talking to plants very kindly helps plants to grow, but what I'm talking about is actually
choosing to love the house, choosing to like the house, choosing to think fondly of the house,
not hoping that, oh okay, I'm going to think, I'm going to trick myself into thinking and believing
fondly about the house and maybe something will happen that won't work. It has to be true, it has
to be unconditional regardless of the results that happen from it. It has to just be a, a feeling
that we extend towards it and by a choice because it's a, it's creation, you know, that's wood,
that's, I don't know whatever else is in y'all's house, you know, concrete, foundation, you know,
steel girders, you know, whatever, that, and all the other things in your house, they respond to
how to the, what it is that we're sending out in our intention of how we feel about it. It's not
okay how it is and it needs to be different. It gets that message because that comes out
in literally scientifically it measurable energy, measurable, you know, our feelings can actually
change the environment and the air around us. They can measure that scientifically
and these things gather that.
and they respond to the negativity.
I know that sounds very strange,
but it's actually fairly true.
So it's creation responding to a human,
which it was intended to do.
So we send positive things, just like our bodies.
We have to actually love our bodies,
not just talk nicely to them.
We have to actually love them.
Love them the way that they are.
No enemy is the same thing with a house.
Loving it the way that it is without conditions.
We want the Lord to love us unconditionally.
We need to love unconditionally, including health.
And then that will suddenly start,
you'll notice that over time, not overnight,
but now who knows,
sometimes these things do happen overnight.
I've talked to people about this before,
and they said, oh my word, Ashley,
the next day such and such happened
because they let it go the day before.
And then finally something amazing was able to come through
that they'd been waiting on for a long time,
or they thought wasn't gonna happen or whatever.
Like with something physical, like a house.
And so anyway, we can actually start allowing life
to be poured into it by letting go.
But you want, the important thing is
not that you're actually looking for a result
and striving to get a result.
The thing is that you're wanting to understand
to choose to live in freedom
and not be bound by a house and by a physical situation
and circumstance being what it is,
but you're a son of God above that.
And you have a right to always be in freedom
regardless of what it chooses to do.
And you standing in that position
will finally give it freedom
to be released from frustration.
That does make sense, I need to,
okay, it's not just scary, it's terrifying.
Yes, exactly.
Exactly, it is terrifying.
And trust me, I've had to make all of these decisions
in very terrifying moments.
Very, very, very terrifying.
Where I had nothing to fall back on.
That does make sense, I need to let it go with nothing else
so it doesn't have control over my mind and mood.
Yes, because so what it is you're choosing
is you're not choosing your house, you're choosing you.
And right now it's choosing the house over you.
And so it's like, that is a backwards thing,
and that's not true about me.
God says something different
in choosing yourself over the house.
And then your house can finally have what it needs
because what it needs is you.
Just like I talk about the fact that our finances,
our business and our relationships,
if something's going on wrong with them that we don't like,
what it needs is us.
It doesn't need a new formula,
it doesn't need a new strategy.
It needs us, it's missing us somewhere.
There's some way in which it's needing life from us.
So anyway, so choose you,
and then from that, everything else will flow.
Because when you choose you,
you're choosing that you are who you've got,
that God is who he says that he is,
and that you are who he says that you are
because you're in him.
So you're choosing union,
and from union, everything flows.
So, bye Natalie.
Glad you could come on.
So anyway, is that helpful stuff?
I know it's not fun,
and you still have to make the decision,
and you still have to make the choice.
But I have done it when I've been in your situation.
I promise, and I've done it multiple times,
multiple, multiple, multiple times.
The things that were biggest and most dear to my heart,
relationships, very, very important people,
or something that it is that I wanted to do,
and, or, I don't know, whatever.
In fact, I did this yesterday.
I did this yesterday with a relationship,
and something that I wanted for myself,
in addition to the relationship,
it was all wrapped up together.
It was extremely important to me.
And God said,
Ashley, you're trying to make a decision out of fear.
So I let go.
And as soon as I let go,
I immediately knew, like what I was telling Lori.
Lori?
I was telling Lori, you know,
that I was telling her, you know,
how making a decision from a place of like that power,
of like from intention and will as a son of God,
as opposed to out of fear.
And so I told,
I told, as soon as I shifted from fear into rest,
I decided, okay, God asked me,
Ashley, then what do you want to do?
Now that you're not being driven by fear,
and what you're trying,
which pain you're trying to avoid most,
what do you want?
Now that you aren't afraid anymore,
now that you have everything in me
that you were hoping the circumstances
that you were choosing from were going to give you,
now that you have that,
and you no longer need the circumstances
to provide it for you,
now, what do you want to do?
Now that they can't give you anything
that you don't already have,
because you're in it right now,
what do you want?
What do you want to be part of your life?
So anyway, I'm glad that it's helpful.
Let's see if I missed anything else.
Oh, okay, so Lori says, Ashley.
I think that's why you can connect with people so well.
You don't approach them expecting a result
after you talk to them.
Yes.
I have never said, I don't know.
Maybe I have said that.
I think I have said that,
but I haven't said it in so many words.
But that is exactly what I'm doing.
And I actually thought of it in these words
either today or yesterday.
I thought, oh yeah,
I need to actually put that in words sometime
if that's what I'm doing.
But exactly.
You do not approach,
oh, okay.
Remember when I,
it was in a post that I posted just recently
where I said,
when you come to people, don't come with an agenda.
That the result,
what it is they choose in their life
is up to them and it's up to the Lord.
I'm out of it.
I'm just there for them.
Also, like you've said before,
people can feel if you approach them with an agenda.
See, I didn't even finish the text.
So you're right.
You'd already said all of that.
So yeah.
But yeah, absolutely.
So, but yeah, that's,
so I'm glad to know that you think
that I connect with people well.
I just allow them to be who they are.
They don't have to be anything different
when they talk to me.
They don't have to just,
they don't have to be like,
well, you know,
we have to make Ashley happy
or we have to be like this.
We have to be like that.
I want them to just be who it is that they are
and know that,
know that how it is that they are
and the struggles that they're currently having,
how they're thinking,
whether or not,
no matter how long they've been in the rest intense,
that they've gotten this
or they haven't gotten this.
It's okay.
They don't have to be a particular way for me.
They can just,
I am here living my life out loud.
I'm living, doing this
because this is me to live like this.
This is me to talk like this.
This is me to have a live Q&A.
This is how Lord and I want to live life.
And then whoever wants it too
and thinks, oh, well, that sounds fun.
They can join the rest intensive
and they can join the Q&A,
but that's up to them.
I do this because this is how I want to live life,
not in order to help people or have an agenda.
So it can be harder when it's your husband.
What can be harder?
The not having an agenda?
Yes, I know.
Absolutely.
It can definitely be harder,
but because we're more easily triggered
because there's something that we want,
but if we're finding it in the Lord,
we find that we're not triggered by that either.
But it's so often we find,
because husbands being one with them in soul
and one with them in body
and obviously one with them in spirit as believers,
there's something in us that causes us to want to,
good night, Sylvia,
that causes us to want to find in them
what we're supposed to seek in our union with the Lord
because they're the one that we're on earth
where we're most closely unified with
in spirit, soul, and body.
And so it's easy to project onto them,
more easily to project onto them in all areas
since we're connected in all three
than what it is that we want from the Lord.
So yeah, that one can be challenging.
All right.
Well, excuse me.
What time is that?
I think that it's time.
Yep, wow, we're late.
Does, let's see, did I miss anything?
Did anybody have anything before we jump off?
Well, I'm just gonna say
since I'm right in the middle of this situation,
like as we speak,
my husband texted me during our call
and he wants to spend like $2,000 on this thing
that if he doesn't buy it tonight,
then it's gonna go up to $5,000.
And it's like something, honestly, he doesn't need at all.
He wants it.
He thinks it's gonna serve him,
but it's not what he needs at all.
And so he's like telling me about it.
And I'm like, oh, what are you thinking of getting it?
Well, yeah, it goes up to 5,000.
I'm like asking him some questions.
I'm like, do you want my opinion?
He's like, no.
And then five minutes later, he's like,
okay, why, what would your opinion be?
So then I just-
It's a difficult conversation.
I know.
And I said, well, I think we should talk about it before.
He's like, isn't that what we're doing right now?
I'm like, this is not a real conversation, we're texting.
And so I just kind of asked him some more questions,
but the truth is like my last text to him was,
if you're gonna spend,
cause I said, don't spend it tonight.
If it's really worth it, we'll spend $5,000, right?
Cause if it's really that worth it,
then right, we'll just spend more.
I don't think it's not worth it though.
And so I think he'll realize that
after he comes down from the high
of like going through the click funnel and all that, right?
And so my last text to him was,
in all honesty, since you asked for my opinion,
if you're gonna spend two to five grand on something,
like I would.
I would think that you might want to get a business coach to help you
actually with the thing in your business that you are struggling with, not some fancy shiny object
that you think is like a band-aid but it's not really going to do the trick. It's not going to
save his job, it's not going to get him what he really needs to keep his job.
And so I'm kind of like going through the process right now and I think because I'm really tired
I'm in rest about it but I'm not really in rest about it because I'm like I'm like like what do
you say to somebody when they're wanting to make a decision it's like to you you're like no way
Jose at all. It's not about the money it's the fact that this is not the right thing for him
at all and so what do you do? It's the same thing that I was talking about was that last week about
empowering people when to make their own to make a decision. So really when husbands are asking
their wives or wives are asking their husbands but let's just talk specifically about husbands
because you know from that from that male perspective of they want to know that that
their that their wife thinks that they make very good decisions and they see that as a security
thing as like you know as a oh you know I'm I'm wise and strong I can lead her she she trusts me
whatever. So that's what that's what's happening because it happens with that's a human nature
thing it's not a husband thing it's not a man thing it's a human nature thing. We just see it
very strongly in men and just because we see certain aspects of humanity heightened in men
and some certain aspects of humanity heightened in women but we all have all of them. So anyway
that's what it is that he's really that he's really wondering and he and but ultimately deep
down he's not sure about himself. So the when someone is is so I always recommend that people
do the same thing in these situations that they do if they're trying to sell their product or their
service in a business which is to empower them to make their own decision empower help them clear
the fog of what of all of the confusion and all of the noise in which they're trying to make a
decision either for or against they're trying to make a decision out of fear. Like for instance
someone coming to you in in for your product or service and they're and they're they're like oh
well I don't think I want to do this or maybe they're all gung-ho about it because they're
they're in FOMO and they think that oh if I don't do it now well then I'm going to miss out.
Whatever it is it's out of fear and I find it always very I don't want anyone to come into
the rest intensive out of fear. So what I try to do is I help them walk through
um how to clear the fog from their own mind you know so I help kind of clear the fog kind of like
shift light on the situation not tell them that they're not thinking right and not telling them
you know uh that uh you know not talking to them but like by asking particular questions
drawing helping them draw out of themselves what it is that they really want and what it is that
they really think and why it is that they're really doing it not in an accusatory patronizing
I know better and I'm asking questions I already know the answer to and I'm just trying to get you
to understand you already do that but asking very sincere questions like why do you want this
you know why do you do this thought of the other um and and then helping them feel empowered to
make their own decision and know why it is that they're actually doing what they're doing and is
that what they really want to do so helping them to not make a decision out of fear but out of
their will like no this is what I want because I intend but they can't make that decision when
they're struggling with fear so you help helping to clear the fog out is helping them remove the
fear in which they're trying to make the decision that they're in that's personally what I do
and yes I do it with very no I'm not married so not in the exact situation that you're in
but I have had to walk people through this in very serious situations that had very serious
consequences both at work with people underneath me which I did not have to tell them yes that
they could do it um and I've done it through uh in personal relationship situations so I'm not
comparing our situations I'm just saying that that the place from which I'm speaking is not
theoretical it is practical but I had to choose that I believe it um and that that is how I wanted
to handle the situation so um you if if you just uh so you have to actually believe this and choose
that this is how you want to handle it in order for it to actually work um uh so anyway but that's
what that's what I do and it's much more it's a from a place of rest because I'm not trying not
coming at it with an agenda where well I know what they want and I know what they think it's
empowering them and helping them see that we actually believe that they can make their own
decision and that we're going to back them up whatever it is that they choose because it's them
we just bet that we're there because they've asked us a question and so thanks well
What do you think? And why are you, you know, did you do that?
No. Okay. I don't know. Does that make sense?
Yeah, I started with that. And then I kind of like went down
that road a little bit. And then I was just kind of at the end,
I was like, he seems kind of adamant, he wants to get this
thing. And I really, I'm adamant, I'm just as adamant, if
not more that he should not get this thing. And so and I don't
want to control him or tell him what to do. But honestly, if you
knew the situation, this is like, it's not it's not at all
what he needs. I think the fear of actually doing what he needs
to do is too great. And this is an easy way out. And so I'm and
so you know, I asked him the question, okay, well, what would
be the pros and cons of getting this product versus getting a
business coach to help you with these things? Just to kind of, I
don't know, empower him, get him thinking.
Yeah, he, and that's why he doesn't might not want a
business coach is because he finds it disempowering. And this
other thing makes him feel that he would have control. And he'd
be able to have autonomy, because it's something that he
can get into and he can use as opposed to business coach, you
know, there's accountability and there's whatever. I mean, so
that's possibility. And but, but anyway, yeah, it's very, it's,
it's very interesting that he's not buying it for what it can
do. He's buying it for how it can make him feel. We all buy
things for how it is that they can make us feel and what it is
that we believe that that thing can affirm to us about who it
is that we want to believe we are.
Absolutely.
But if he gets that, without the thing, well, then he doesn't
need it anymore.
If he gets it. Yeah, if he doesn't have a product, if he
gets the, the what, sorry, gets the thing without the thing.
Yeah, yeah. If he gets, if he, if he, if he feels that way,
about himself without getting the thing, he no longer needs
the thing. So and so interestingly, I'm not saying
you should do this. Trust me, I'm not. I'm just, because I'm
not talking to specifics here. I'm using a specific to talk
about a, an idea into in, in your greater context, so that
we can apply it to all kinds of situations. And one of the
things that that that we can do to empower someone is that that
they can receive as empowerment.
Use me is when we
have what I would that
is,
is supporting them in having in making whatever decision that
they believe is right. Even if we don't believe that it's
right, and even if we believe it'll harm them, but they think
that it's right. And the reason I say this is, and yes, I've
done this in practice myself, you know, with other people, but
through where I get this from, is that's how God interacts with
us. He allows us to make decisions, because they make us
feel that we're that they help us learn to make decisions. And
sometimes we bear the consequences of them. But what
we will remember is that God let us do it not in order to see
that we'd be punished, and we've learned that we weren't supposed
to do that. But to let us know, hey, look, yeah, you know, you
make decisions, what is it that you want, what it is that you
want has value. And, and so even if just because you want it, and
in the end, people can feel more safe to make to make a decision
for or against, as long as they know that their ability to make
the decision is honored. And then, you know, with dignity,
and, you know, treated with dignity and all of that. And
it's very interesting, but it's fascinating that I started doing
that with other people. And from that, I then learned that God
does that with me. But, but I was just operating like that out
of my spirit. So I understand these things aren't, aren't fun.
And yes, there are real world consequences to doing things.
And it feels like enabling, it feels like we're actually
affirming the wrong thing in them. And so it all sounds
backwards. But the whole thing of like, why are they doing this
in the first place? And that's why the world and their tools
and how they tell us to deal with these things still hasn't
gotten rid of all the problems that we have in this world is
because it doesn't get rid of them. There's a root there. And
so and so sometimes you can actually help heal the healing
the root by affirming them in such a way that they actually
decide, okay, well, this is what I want to do. And so, okay, well,
then, you know, I know, you know, you may you make good
decisions, you really thought through this, and this is what
you decided to do for you, because it's important for you.
And it's important to you. And if it's important to you, then
it's important
to me. And I'm excited for you. And I can't wait as opposed to
well, okay, we'll just see what happens. Yeah, because that's
not showing any actual belief in them as a person and to make
those decisions. She's like, yeah, you know, we can even
expect negative consequences. We're like, oh, I know they're
coming. But we're excited because of what it is that they
think they're going to get out of it, they're going to at least
get a sense of, of that ego from it, and not egos and a bad ego,
but like a sense of like, see, I can do things I can make
decisions. And they can get a hold of it. And they can feel
like it can make them feel a particular way for a while. And
we can be excited about that. And as weird as it sounds, we
can be excited, they're actually getting to do something that
they want to do, and might learn from the consequence that they
don't want to do that again. But we believe in them, not in their
actions, that our interaction with them is not based on their
behavior or their decisions. It's them and them themselves
that we choose. And that's what we do. That's what the Lord does
with us. And that's what we do with other people. And yes, it's
very hard. So that's just another way to think about it as
well. I'm not saying that's how you should handle the situation.
But I'm just saying that that is how I've handled it before. And
what many times with people is I got excited for them. And we're
talking about excited for people that were going to make
spiritual decisions that I disagreed with. But I, I, I
believed I was, I was affirming them, and who they were, if God
can leave us to make wild spiritual decisions without
stopping us, which we're all very aware that we've all done,
if God of the universe can do that, we can do that. And we can
be excited for it. And, and I'm very careful that I don't ever
affirm that I agree with someone about a certain
spiritual decision that they're going to make. But I do affirm
them as a person, and then making a decision that they're
excited about. And sometimes these people have no idea that I
disagree with them. And anyway, so it's just something that I've
learned and then they and the and it empower it makes them
because people ultimately deep down, meaning in the spirit,
they know the right decision to make, but that there's so much
in the way. And so I'm creating a safe environment for them to
feel safe enough to finally decide what it is that they
really want, and to no longer make decisions out of fear. But
I bet I need to give them that safe place first, which is what
God does with us, because it's a safe place first. And let's just
know we're safe now. So that we can make the choice later. It's
only if we resist to the point where he's like, okay, fine. If
my love won't draw you, and I've given you 1000s of chances, then
you know, then maybe you having all of this pain, maybe that
will, you know, maybe if I finally allow you stop
disallowing you to experience the pain, and finally, finally,
you know, remove my hand from you experiencing the pain, you
finally feel it because I've been holding it at bay all this
time, because you've been drawing it. Now that I finally
let my hand go, and you bear the consequence, maybe that will
finally spur you on to action, because my goodness didn't. But
God always tries the goodness first. So anyway, all kinds of
different ideas, you can determine how you want to handle
this particular situation. Because I don't know.
Thanks.
So, um, all right, I guess I will let everyone go. It was good
to see everybody tonight. And I didn't get to say hi, Tammy. Hi,
Lori, did you unmute it? Did you need something? Did you have a
question?
I just wanted to say thank you so much for the well tonight. I
really appreciate it.
You're welcome. You're welcome. I always enjoy getting on with
everybody. Always love getting to see everybody. Let's see who
else. You're welcome, Alicia. Good to see you. Bye, Tammy. And
who else? Did I not say? Oh, good. I said hi. I think I said
hi to Steph. Hey, Steph. There she is in the dark. Like a
horror movie.
Bye, everybody. Love y'all.