we can, I always find that that voice rather creepy. I don't know about y'all.
So, good to see everybody. Hey Kate, hey Casey. We'll probably have a few more people
and jump on after a little bit, but basically what I do, it depends on how
big the group is. Sometimes I just have people, you know, just pop in and like
with a group this size. It would just, I would just have someone, normal, I'm
gonna have y'all all unmuted, sorry, all muted, and then I'm going to, and then you
can just unmute yourself if you have a question. The reason for that, in fact I
forgot to do all of that, the reason for that is if I don't, then there's feedback
on the recording, and then people can't hear the speaker, whoever the speaker is,
whether it's me or someone else, because it's feeding out of usually somebody's
computer and then feeding back into, out of their speakers and back into the
microphone. Anyway, so there can be feedback or whatever. So, we've just
learned for the quality of the recording to have everybody muted. So, I promise I
want to hear your voices. Just unmute yourself when you have a question. When
it's a larger, when it's a larger group, I sometimes have people put their
questions in the chat, but for something like this, it's a lot more informal and
therefore a lot more fun. But does anyone have anything that they would like to
start us out with? Any question that you've run, any issue that you've run
into specifically about, you know, resting in, shifting into the Lord's love. So,
being able to interact with Him without the understanding how to fall into Him,
which is that place where we feel unsafe, and yet falling into that place of
safety, running up against the threshold and actually pushing past it. Is all of
that making sense? Is anyone having, having any trouble with that? Because
what I like to do is to help people in their, in their trouble spots and how, and
just learn how to basically speak their language. So, I talk with them a little
bit and learn to speak their language so I can say in there, in a way that they
understand, oh, okay, well this is how you do it. So, basically, as if all of us were
speaking different languages, because we all have different backgrounds, different
ways that we've, that we have approached the Lord, different relationships with
Him, phrases, depending on our denominations that we've come from, all
mean different things. Our experiences cause us to interpret things in
different ways. And so what I do in the rest intensive is yes, it is a community
and it is a group, but I like to learn each individual and gain and develop a
relationship with each person and really help each person understand in
a way that they need to understand it, how to cross their particular thresholds
or their particular issues. So, I always like to make sure that, you know, like
George Bush said so long ago, you know, no child left behind. I don't want anyone
to be left behind and get lost in a group just because they don't speak up
as much as someone else. I really want to make sure that either here or in the
private sessions that you ask the questions of, hey look, I'm running into
this problem, you talk about doing this, I didn't understand or I flat-out can't
do it, because there's a reason and it's usually just because there's some
way that I said it that didn't make sense in your world, which is perfectly
fine, because it makes sense in mine and I talk about it from that perspective,
but I have my own backgrounds and my own experience and therefore it's not going
to translate into yours. That's one of the reasons why I talk a lot, why I
taught, I take a subject and I completely unpack it, talk about it from every
possible angle I can think of and then repackage it and sometimes it kind of
annoys people and how it is that I teach, but the reason I do that is it helps
people finally be able to understand, because I talked about the same thing
from multiple different directions and so it ends up that the Lord attracts to
me the people that are okay with that kind of method of teaching, but it does,
it doesn't really, not really conducive to every audience. So anyway, this is, this
is the rest intensive, this is what you get, so I hope that it's helpful, but does
anyone have anything that they would like to start us out with of like, say,
any experience that, that you've been running into? I know that it's just been
since Tuesday, but since you've been in the group or, or what have you. So, yeah,
go ahead, Chris. You know, the practice that you've been talking about, I mean,
this is probably kind of a dumb question, but do you close your eyes? What are you,
who I mean, I heard the Lord asked me a question. And a few
days before we started, it was like I saw his eyes were
flaming, you know, like it, and even what it talks about in
Daniel and Revelation, and not judgmental. But anyway, if I
sit, I don't know if I can see his eyes, you know, how do I
close my eyes and kind of imagine or how do you do that?
So really, okay, so I'm really glad that you're asking this
question, because then it helps me bring up. And it helps me
approach the exercise from a completely different direction.
So basically, what I do is I try to take what it is that I'm
doing, and then give someone because it's hard to explain
this, this concept are hard for people to understand this
concept, right? So I give them an anchor, I'm like, okay, do
this. But really, all that you're so you don't have to do
it exactly like this. The reason I just explained my experience
of what I do, like, oh, I have Jesus come and sit and I look
in his eyes and do that is because people understand that.
But really, all that I'm doing, and all that I suggest that
anybody on here does, is you are going to your Lord to meet with
him and allowing him to engage with you, period. And the
manner of speaking, you're not engaging with him. You're
letting him engage you and engage with you. So however you
need to do that, and however it ends up looking, you don't have
to be sitting somewhere and trying to look in his eyes. I
had somebody in one of the rest intensives. In fact, it was the
you know, the broadcast that we did on Tuesday night, that at
that event, that conference, that conference, there was a
lady sitting in there, who told me later that the experience
that she had was, was when she looked for Jesus, he was coming
across a field, smiling, looking at her holding out his hand to
her and grabbed her hand and invited her to go somewhere.
That was that was her engagement with him. So that's, that's
great. And so basically, just, just however, and you need to,
whatever you need to do, whatever kind of like a thing
that you need to imagine in order to help give your soul,
something to understand, of the fact that you're, you're
intentionally choosing, now I'm going to engage with the Lord,
or now I'm going to let him engage with me. So the way I do
it is I usually just sit there, but I'm telling you that because
I've practiced so much, having that anchor for my soul to
understand what in the spirit I'm trying to do, because I've
done that so much, I've become familiar with how to tell my
spirit to do that, without my soul having to have that anchor
of me sitting on the bed and having Jesus come into that I
have learned how to in the spirit engage directly with
Jesus, so that he can so that I can experience and feel his love
and so that I can move into him so that I'm immersed into him
and allow him to immerse himself into me. But the anchor that I
started myself with, that gave my soul and my mind and
understanding of what it is I'm trying to do so I can then tell
my spirit to do that was a look I sat and had Jesus come and I
looked in his eyes, and I learned that I couldn't look
away because what I when I was looking away, I was breaking I
was, I was, I was trying to protect myself, I was trying to
save myself because it was too much I was feeling overwhelmed
by his love, that feels unsafe. So I'm going to try to protect
myself by looking away, or whatever. And so you a lot of
people do like the exercise in the way that I've described it
as Jesus coming and sitting, we're just walking up to them or
whatever. But they can't see his eyes. Well, that's fine. I
sometimes don't see his eyes. You know, this isn't this, this
exercise isn't magical. No one taught it to me. I didn't have
some great spiritual, you know, person tell me to do it. It's
not in the Bible. It's just what worked for me to help me
decide and then in real it in, then in reality, interact with
them, not just wish I was enacting with I was interacting
with them, or imagine that I were no to really truly in my
spirit interact with them. This helps me it was an anchor that I
could understand. So is that helpful?
Yes, it is. Yeah. Yeah, last night, I couldn't see his eyes.
And yeah, yeah, yeah, you're just wanting to, you're just
wanting to intimately connect with them. For me, eyes are very
important. I love eyes. I love looking in people's eyes. That's
how I can
with himself. I'm trying to understand how to connect with Jesus, his spirit, and I'm sitting
here in my, you know, my body and my soul much more aware of it than I am aware of my spirit.
How do I move to my spirit man? For me, it was just easier to connect with imagining eyes,
but a lot of people, and for most people, it seems to work. They seem to, that seems to help
them. But for several people that I've talked to, they, they're like, that doesn't seem to work with
me. Some people can't even see him at all. I was like, that's fine. You're the thing that
helped might help you engage is maybe either a smell. I'm not really big on smells in the spirit.
I can't really, um, I'm trying to think, I think maybe my husband has noted sometimes that he
smelled some things in spirit. I, I very rarely if ever have. So that's not a strong one for me,
but it is a strong one for some people. And then for others, uh, it's not seeing anything.
They're more, they're more like prompted by hearing something or by feeling something.
And so engage with that, if that, if that's more helpful, but the whole point is just
engaged with your Jesus, however you need to do that. And I just explained to people,
that's how, what was helpful to me. Thank you. You're welcome.
So does anyone else have anything we can always move on to something else? If no one has anything
or trust me, I always have plenty to talk about. I can always fill the time. Does anyone have a
sentence? Yeah, go ahead. Okay.
And you there. Thank you so much. I'm already having so much fun. It's as much fun as you can
have process, I suppose. Um, but real quick, um, and I have to go back and listen to your video,
but is there a lot of dialogue happening during this time? Just completely quiet,
just him or not responding, like no dialogue. Yes. Yeah, correct. And, um, again, I'm not glad
that you asked that question. It's similar to why I recommended to people in the, in the video that I
did that yesterday. I think it was yesterday. Yeah. I didn't know that it's fine. I was just
letting people know because it was kind of a, a long one. And so I didn't know that people had
been able to get to it yet, but the, one of the things that I talk about in there is, uh, uh,
Liberty had asked in one of the comments, she'd asked, Hey, how about music? How about worship
music? And I said, well, I recommend not worship music, at least with lyrics. And then I went into
some details of why and whatever. And I say, and simply is simply because it's a distraction,
especially if there's lyrics. And for me, I cannot have a melody that I recognize.
I can't have a song, even instrumental worship music that I recognize. I can't because it's
too distracting. It's too familiar. So what works for me is soaking music. So if I want, so if I
want music, cause you can do it with them without music, if you want music, um, I personally have
new soaking music. And then sometimes it's good to have music playing in another room
where it's not too right there, but it's at least making some kind of white noise somewhere near
you. And none of this is magic. I'm just telling you tips and tricks based off of human psychology.
We tend to be easily distracted by things. And so you don't want to incorporate anything
that would just into the exercise that would distract, including talking because there's
this whole engagement thing going on. And the whole point of the exercise is to really not,
not have anything of us flowing towards the Lord. Rather it's to allow the Lord and the Lord only
to be flowing towards us. And the whole thing of that is to kind of begin to, to break off our,
break off this, this sense and this feeling and this interaction that we typically have had with
the Lord, where, where we, where our engagement with him, or should I say that anytime that he
and we are together, we always think there's something expected of us. And that has a tendency
to trigger a works in striving and performance mentality. So we're trying to break off our
tendency to go into performance. There's nothing wrong with engaging with the Lord. The problem is
we typically associate any kind of flow from us to the Lord as some kind of a payment, including
payment of, Oh, thank you, Lord, this is forgiving me this. I want to respond so I can make sure that
you know that I'm grateful so that you'll keep doing it and you won't stop and I won't be
abandoned. I won't be without it. So what we, we, it's really wild, all of this subconscious ways
which we're tremendously entangled by performance mentality
and how we engage with the Lord.
So that's why I recommend no dialogue, no back and forth.
There's nothing wrong with dialogue.
I just would recommend not doing this exercise,
which you might only be doing for five minutes,
with any dialogue.
You know, later you can,
but the whole point is to begin to give yourself
a different experience with the Lord
where you did nothing and received everything
in order for your Lord to prove to you
that you don't have to do anything
and yet you will receive everything.
So that's what you're trying to teach yourself
by forcing yourself,
by creating an environment in which you're forcing yourself
to interact in a way that you're not used to interacting.
Case in point, just a little side note,
and we'll talk about this later.
When I had to learn that the Lord loves me
even when I sinned, what I had to do,
well, I don't know, it's probably a perfect week
to talk about it,
that the Lord loves me even when I sinned
is when I realized I was intentionally sinning
and I don't know what I was doing
because I remember where I was standing
and I wasn't with anybody.
I was in my apartment all by myself.
And I don't know, I must've had some thought.
Maybe it was a negative thought about somebody.
Maybe it was a negative thought about the Lord.
Maybe I was resentful towards him.
Maybe I was upset.
And because I was going through
a very, very difficult time with the Lord,
this is when I was learning about how to,
learning that I was loved by the Lord and to choose it.
Anyway, whatever it was,
it was something that I had recognized,
oh my word, that's sinning.
Or at least I thought whether or not it was,
I thought that it was, and that's what's important.
And here's what I did.
I didn't apologize to the Lord
because what I realized is I was using apologies
and telling the Lord I was sorry
as payment, in other words, my repentance,
as payment for him to love me again,
as payment to keep connection.
Because when I was growing up, I was taught,
I was literally taught this.
In fact, I told my mother this just the other day
and she was shocked because I learned it in school.
I went to a private Christian school.
I was homeschooled,
but the private Christian curriculum that we used,
that there was a teacher on the videos
who told, he literally said to me in fourth grade
that when you sin, God stops talking to you.
Talk about trauma when you're in fourth grade.
So I lived the majority of my life believing that.
So this isn't some kind of a belief in my head.
It was ingrained into my very being
because I wanted so badly to be connected with the Lord.
So I knew in order to, and here's my point,
in order to break that thing off of me
because it was such an intrinsic aspect
of my relationship with God
and the only way that I felt comfortable interacting
with him or safe, that's the word,
safe interacting with him
is if I was always apologizing or whatever
and that he didn't love me
or he wouldn't talk to me if I was sinning.
I was like, okay, if he says that that's not true,
even though I don't understand how that couldn't be true,
even though I don't feel it,
if he says it, that's what I'm gonna go on
to prove it to myself.
I am going to not apologize
while I'm intentionally sinning.
I recognize that I'm intentionally sinning at this moment.
Okay, instead of apologizing,
which is my go-to in other words of repenting,
that's really what I'm saying,
is repenting, which is different than an apology,
but we're just talking about this in simple terms right now
because that right there is not the point of the discussion
but instead of apologizing and repenting,
I stopped and I asked the Lord
for something that I really wanted.
So I did the exact opposite.
I didn't just allow myself to sit in,
okay, well, you know what?
I've intentionally apologized
and I'm just gonna,
or I've intentionally sinned,
chosen not to apologize
and I'm just gonna trust and have faith
that the Lord still loves me.
I took it a step further and required of myself,
okay, if you believe this, Ashley, act on it.
If that is true, what would you do?
I thought, then I'd ask God for something.
I'd ask him for something that I really wanted.
I mean, because talk about bad timing, you know,
you've just sinned and now you just,
without repenting, you're just like,
God, this is what I really want, you know?
But he says that that is how he,
that's how he views us.
That's how much he loves us.
So I thought, I am going to risk my relationship with him
on the fact that he said it
because my, I was so deep in this.
idea that he would abandon me in my sin, that I felt that he might strike me with lightning,
if not only did I not apologize and repent immediately, but that I was so disrespectful
and dishonoring to ask him for something. So I thought, okay, this is really risking myself,
and this is what all faith is. It's risking ourselves on what God said, because if what
God said actually isn't true, then guess who's going to bear the consequences? Because I,
in my relationship with God, is what I just risked. So that's just kind of a side note of
of how, how I have, how extreme that I have gone to teach myself these things is, and the story,
when I'm relating it to y'all, it may not sound very big, but I'm telling you, to me, that was
risking my very relationship with God, and I am not kidding. I actually thought God was going to
strike me down with lightning. I'm not exaggerating when I say that. I don't have a tendency towards
the dramatic. I'm very intense. I'm very excessive, as y'all can tell, but I'm not,
I don't exaggerate, and I, and I'm not, and I'm not, and I'm not, you know, just like
dramatic or whether, you know, too dramatic, but, but so when I say that I thought he was going to
strike me with lightning, I really thought he was, because in my mind, God is wrathful
before he's love, and I had to re-teach myself that that is not true, and the only way I could
do that was I had to put myself in a position where God could prove it to me otherwise.
I risked myself on the fact of, okay, God, if you say this is true,
then works without faith is dead, so if you say it's true, and I'm going to believe it,
then I, then what would I do if it, what would I do? How would I act? What works? What I do
if, if, if I really do believe it? So, and then I would do it, and then God himself, not theology,
not logic, not talking myself into something and convincing myself that something's true,
but actually allowing God himself by my own experience to prove himself to me is what
really we need. That's the only thing that's going to actually change our relationship with the Lord
is where we, where we put ourselves in a, in positions where God invites us to put ourselves
into positions where he, where he can show up as he is. If he says he's good, he says he's provider,
he says he's protector, then we have to be in, in order for us to change our understanding of
what it is that we believe, we believe thus far, we have to now be in a situation where we experience
our God as he says he is. So anyway, that's why I, and that's why, you know, recommended what it
is that I do. It's not magical to, you know, have a discussion, not have a discussion. It's just
like, that's kind of the point. It's that kind of a radical, dramatic obedience of casting yourself
on God's word, on literally nothing, but the fact that God said that will change everything.
And it literally will change everything like that. Your, your world, it will break horrible
strongholds of religious theology off of you by those dramatic, um, uh, when you dramatically
and recklessly abandon yourself on nothing but his word in moments like that. I'm a very extreme
person, so I do very extreme things. So is that helpful? Does that make sense? Okay.
So, hey, Cicely and Dusty, by the way, how are y'all?
So does someone else have another question for us? Rita, go ahead.
In your video, you mentioned, um, abandonment and feeling that because on Tuesday, I felt like the
Lord came to me and I experienced him and I was like, oh, I want him to come back. So I've been
trying and I'm like, but he's not back. So I don't know that feeling of, I need to, I guess I just
I guess I just don't know how to get it back and I'm feeling like he's not coming back. So.
Yes. Okay. So great, great question. So what you do is the way that he came to you is because he
wanted to, and it's very effortless and you didn't have to do anything. So that's how it happens every
other time as well. In other words, you, this, what it is that we have faith on is we have.
faith that he is who he says that he is, not that he's going to do something.
So who does he say that he is? He says that he's good.
He says that he loves you unconditionally.
You know, he wants all of this, you know, shifting into rest,
into freedom, you know, into more love with him.
He wants that more than we do. He wants it at a very intense level
because that is the reason for which he created us.
He created us for relationship with him.
I'm trying to remember when we're going to talk about that.
I don't know. Well, maybe we talked about it a bit on Tuesday,
but maybe we're going to talk about it next Tuesday.
Yes, we're talking about our union with him and the point at which we were created.
We're going to talk about the fact that we were created for relationship with him before the world began.
So you weren't created for creation.
You weren't created for some physical destiny and purpose here on this Earth.
We have those things, but that's not the purpose for which we exist.
And that's not the thing that the Lord focuses on with us.
He focuses on a relationship. My point in all of that is he created us to connect with us.
So he wants that connection with you more than you do.
So all you do is you trust that that's who he is.
You allow him to be who he is as opposed to God.
You know, why are you so far away? I'm trying. I'm trying out of my desire and striving and desperation.
Won't you please come back? That is rooted.
That kind of like desperation that we get is rooted in unbelief that he's not that way.
And that's why we're desperate to convince him to come back.
So we have to completely abandon all of that and then choose instead.
Okay, let's start from the different position as opposed to as opposed to from the position that believing that God is lying
and we're trying to or he's not proving, you know, that he really is,
you know, manifesting what it is that he actually said is true.
We choose that it all already is true and that the Lord will just manifest himself in the way that he wants.
So basically you expect it. That's what faith is.
So faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen.
We actually expect it. It's not in a manner of speaking.
It's not the manifestation that we're expecting.
So we're not looking for and trying to put all of our hopes and our expectations on.
He is going to show up. I'm going to feel this way, you know,
because that's putting our faith in a manifestation and in other words in the outcome and in what happens
and instead what we what we begin to learn more and more is that the outcome is created by the fact by the fact that we have faith
that God is who he says that he is that creates the manifestation.
So if we're looking for a manifestation without having faith in God that it's going to happen,
it doesn't have what it needs in order to happen because what it needs is us together
with the Lord having the faith that he is who he says that he is that causes the thing to happen.
So I know we're just kind of said a lot there.
I normally talk about it for much longer time than that about about faith
and I'm trying to remember if we even get to that point.
We may not even talk about that in this rest intensive,
but I'm going to try to do I think just like a live or something to just go through to go through faith
and how to actually have faith. So whenever we run into any kind of struggle,
this is really good question because this goes for literally anything anytime you're like trying to shift
it to an interest or trying to feel loved by God
or whatever is to stop trying and to stop to stop that and the feeling of death it to stop that desperation
and seeking after the Lord and instead effortlessly.
What's the word effortlessly just rest
and expect that God and and choose that God is who he says that he is
and that you're going to see him show up in the situation
and shifting you into the rest in you feeling his love
or whatever in whatever way that he wants to do it.
So you're actually having faith that he is who he says that he is not that something's actually going to happen
and that's how the thing happens. So it's taking it for granted that well,
of course, it's going to happen. Of course, he's going to show up,
you know, you know, whatever but not that.
Oh, well, I'm going to have this particular experience.
You're just you're just having faith in him the love.
little bit like I may not be explaining this well, but is it making sense? Okay, good. I think
it's about if it's not making sense and I just need to try again because I wouldn't have understood
what I just said. Let's just be honest. There are some things in which we're just very grateful
that things are understood by the spirit because like Paul, sometimes I just don't got it.
So, now I'm not sure. Cicely, did you have a question or not? You did? Yeah, go ahead.
So, how do you know that you're experiencing God?
Like that you're, oh yeah, based off of your comments today. Go ahead. Yeah, I mean it's just
like, I feel like that's the place that I'm at. I'm just like, how do I know that
I'm experiencing the Lord? Like, I guess I'm like, I don't know what to expect and experience
with him. Well, should I not have any expectations? No, no, no, it's a great question, especially
because, and I don't know, I know that we've talked about this, but it's been so long ago
that I don't remember, but I don't know, remember which denomination you come from, but a lot of
denominations, particularly in the charismatic or in the very hyper charismatic, they literally,
well, I say literally, let's just not word it that way. They idolize experience. Yeah,
and they idolize experiencing God, feeling him or feeling, I don't know, just absolutely overcome.
And then of course, depending on the experience, some of them will roll around the floor or
there's a lot of laughter or whatever. I actually just came from a meeting where that happened.
So, the pastor was walking around and laying hands on people and they were losing it. So,
that did not happen to me. So, anyway, but the thing is that we can, that the thing is that
with those experiences, if we're not careful, we can just feel close that we can trick
ourselves into thinking that we have a relationship with God because we felt a particular way
and because we've had a particular experience. So, if I have an experience, then it means God
loves me. If I can feel him, it means God loves me. And if I can't feel him or if I don't have
a particular experience or it's been a long time since I've had any kind of an experience,
well, then God must be mad at me. I might, you know, I must be sinning or whatever. So, anyway,
so I just, I just say that just to mention that sometimes we can kind of like idolize experience
as far as like that goes. But what I think that what it is that, so I just wanted to mention that
in case that's what anybody was thinking was that's where their mind went with experience.
But what I think that you're talking about with experiences, how do I know it's God that
I'm engaging with versus I just feel good versus it's just my emotions or because music is just
right today. And, you know, it's how do I know I'm being affected by God versus something else?
And I know you're not going to really like this answer, but let me like flesh it out.
And that is that when that when it happens, you know, because he feels like anything so different
than anything else that we that we engage with or are affected by because we're actually born
out of his being. No, we're not God. We're going to be talking about that on Tuesday, but
about what it says in the Bible about where we came from and all of that.
But we actually came out of his being. So when we hear his voice, just like it talks about,
you know, the sheep know his voice. When we hear his voice, there is something
that is so how would you put it? It's like it's almost like hearing
it. It's so familiar to us. It's basically down in our DNA. It's like, OK, that's like me.
There's something very there's something very safe in it. There's something very,
very familiar in it, even though you may have felt like, oh, I've never felt like this before.
There's a way in which you feel that you'd be like, I've been looking for this my whole life or
that or that's my father or that that's me or that. And I don't mean that we're God. What I
mean is like it is so much like that. It's like we feel that that's where our existence came out of.
I'm not meaning to make all of this sound very esoterical, but the thing is that God touches us
that set at the deep level of our spiritual existence, that there's no way to miss it,
especially if you are knowing that it's God that you're looking for. So I can imagine somebody who
doesn't even believe in God, maybe it's never even heard of God, you know, wondering, you know,
what is this thing, what is this feeling, and not knowing how to quantify it, but you would
absolutely know. And there was something else I was going to say when you'd asked your question,
but is at least some of that making sense? Have you ever experienced anything like that,
what I'm talking about? I don't think so. No? Okay, well, that's really, I mean,
and I think that that's what the challenge is, like, I've been a Christian, and in church,
and led worship, and had all these experiences. But there is this part of me that I'm like, I
don't know that I've experienced, like Carrie Byler has talked about, like, you know, just
feeling the love of the Lord just poured on her, like, liquid. And I'm like, what are you talking
about? Like, I haven't experienced the love of the Lord like that either. But I've always been
very jealous of people that did. But I feel like that's the challenge for me. I'm a very feel like,
yeah, touchy feely based type person. And so it's like, I expect to feel him a certain way.
And I just it's like, I just, yeah. It's like, I just don't, I can't even think of a moment in my
life where I'm like, God, I know that that was God. Like, yes. Yeah. Okay. So yes, that's helpful.
So in line of what I was talking about earlier, you know, where people are chasing experience,
or whatever, what it is that we want to do is we don't want to focus on how we're going to know
that that's him, or how we feel, or in other words, like what I was talking about with Rita,
you know, the manifestation of it, you know, the outcome of it, what we focus on is him.
And when we do that, he reveals himself to us in a way that we can connect with and in a way that
we can understand in a way that we can feel that we can experience. But if we keep expecting to
have if we focus on the manifestation, if we focus on what it is that I'm feeling, or what it looks
like, or whatever, then a lot of times we're going to miss God because he manifested himself in a
different way. But we were looking for this thing over here, and he manifested himself like this,
and we weren't paying attention to this. So if we just focus on him, and not how he makes us feel,
or how or what possibly could happen, or how I'm going to know or how I'm going to get
proven to myself, that such and such is true or whatever, then if we focus on him, then he'll
more readily come and he'll show up in a way that and reveal himself to you in the way that he
desires to. So we can actually miss him by trying to look for an experience because,
especially because we're limiting God to our experience. We're limiting God to what we know,
and what we have interacted with, and he's very other than that. So we have to allow him,
I think, oh, I did a post on this on my personal page today, about we have to let God be who he
wants to be with us. Whoever that is, however that is, we have to have to allow him to be that.
And, and just see how he shows himself. He wants you to know who he is more than you want to know
who he is. So he's going to make sure that you know. So, so yeah, as weird as it sounds,
we're going to talk about this a lot. In order to have something, in manner of speaking,
you stop focusing on it. Because what we're doing is we're choosing it instead of him.
So the way that we can get this is if we choose him. If we choose him, then there's a trickle
down effect, there's an outcome, there's a, there's a result and whatever. But we can't have
that. If we're worshiping that, or we're focused on it, or this is all we know. And then we're
forcing God into this thing. Because what can happen is then we can then create, create
subconscious resentment against God. Because it's not happening, because he's not showing us or
whatever. I had built up a lot of resentment against the Lord, because I was looking for his
love in particular ways. And I felt that I was holding up. I was doing everything it is that he
told me to do. But I.
I wasn't feeling his love.
And so therefore he wasn't holding up his end of the bargain because
he said that I should be, you know, that I was loved.
And so I'm like expecting it to feel a particular way.
And I'm like, well, Lord, you know, or certain things to work out in my life
and they weren't working out.
So therefore God, you know, you're not loving me, but he
says that he is loving me.
So apparently I was looking at the wrong place.
So the way that I finally began to feel loved and the way that I finally began
to, and when all of those, the things that I asked him for finally started to
happen was then I let it was when I let him go, I no longer required God to
manifest himself in a particular way.
I just asked, okay, God, you be loved.
You say that your love, I ask that you manifest that into my life and your
love might manifest itself into my pain, suffering, and uncomfortability.
It did in Jesus's life.
God loved Jesus and look what happened to him.
So I told God, God, I choose your love, not how, not a particular
manifestation that I want.
And so it's the same thing, you know, with like experiences or whatever.
And I know it may not sound like the answer that we want, but what this whole
rest intensive is about is actually helping people finally get to live what
God talks about, because think about it, what it is that we've been doing so far,
whatever it is, you know, whether it's been looking for an experience, no, like
what you and I are talking about here, or any of the other questions have been
asked, how we've been approaching it this far hasn't worked, it hasn't.
So it must be something else.
So we get to the point where we're desperate enough.
In other words, we desire strongly enough him and to engage with him.
We're finally willing to let this go because the pain of not having that
becomes greater than the pain of not having this, and we end up finally choosing that.
So anyway, that's how we can actually start to see things manifest into our
life to finally begin to experience them, et cetera, and I believe that you will.
And I believe that you'll, I personally, I'm not trying to be, I'm not being
prophetic here and not saying that sayeth the Lord, but I personally, the
belief, just my own opinion, that you're going to begin to experience them very
soon, very quickly, we're not talking about in week six, you know, we're
talking about very soon, but in order to do that, we have to stop holding him,
you know, and not just this experience thing, anything else that any of us
could bring up, we're like, God, I want this.
You told me I could have this.
You told me that you would do this.
You told me that this is who you are, but why aren't you being that?
Why aren't you doing that?
That is actually accusation against the Lord, which is resistance, a resistance
against him actually manifesting in that particular way, because God
says he's already given it to us.
So what it is that you want, God says that he's already given not just to
you, but he's got, he's given to all of us, but the only way that we can
receive it is to just receive it very effortlessly and to, and to stop
resisting it.
And one of the ways that we're resisting it is we're choosing it and not him.
So we have to give this up in order to have him.
Abraham was willing to give up his own son in order to have God.
Um, and, uh, so anyway, um, I felt that was a long explanation, but
did some of that make sense?
Yes.
Okay.
All right.
Good.
Like I said, I know it's not like the most fun answer, but I'm, I'm promise
you, these are the things that finally get the results, period.
I'm not the only one.
I began to live this and experience this.
And I just knew because come to find out the Lord showed me, actually,
I've been teaching you this for years.
She just didn't know it was called rest.
I'm like, oh my word.
So this is fascinating.
I've seen you work like this Lord in a myriad of different circumstances.
I just didn't know what was going on.
So I'm like, okay, I knew it enough because my, my life was operating like
that and according to these principles.
And then I began to teach other people how to do it.
And I'm telling you between then and now I've had a lot of people go
through, whether a large rest intensive and many rest intensive or personal
private conflict, uh, complications.
And I am telling you that what I, what I teach in here is the step
that actually gets the results.
Not the stuff that sounds good, or that allows us to finally reconcile
different contradictory parts of scripture.
No, this is the stuff that lets you finally experience God.
This is what actually works.
So not what makes us feel better or be more hopeful.
So anyway, so remember that anytime I tell it here, you.
doing the answer that you really don't want to hear.
It really is the thing that will get the results.
So, and that's what it is that you were investing in
when you chose to invest in the rest intensive.
I know it was a significant investment that y'all made.
What you're investing in is the result, not hope,
not to learn something new, not another Bible study.
It's when you decide that you want your life
to be different, and you finally choose
you're willing to invest in yourself
and in your relationship with the Lord,
and you're willing to do whatever it is
that he reveals to you that you need to do.
You're finally ready so that you can live it.
So, anyway.
Hey, Carrie.
I know that you're not on video, but hello.
Hi.
Hello.
A long time since I have been on a Zoom
for the rest of the Zoom.
That's right.
Great.
I know, our first one was what, two and a half years ago.
Here we are all this time later.
Yeah.
Does anyone have another question?
So, we'll probably only have time for one more,
but does anyone have anything about,
anything that maybe wasn't understood
about what I was explaining about how to experience
the Lord's love on a daily basis?
Yeah, go ahead, Dusty.
Do I have the name right?
Is it Dusty?
Because on Facebook, it looks different.
Dustin.
Okay.
Sorry about that, Dustin.
My parents were going to name me Dusty if I was a boy.
I'm so grateful.
I've been called worse.
So, I mean, you've kind of touched on this,
but so like whenever you're sitting and you're intentional
and you're seeking him to engage with him,
to engage with you,
like, how do you like just sit there
and literally be still and not like,
I think what my problem is,
is I go through like a laundry list in my head.
And I, and then like you said, the distraction,
like I just get distracted and it's just like,
then I'm like thinking about my to-do list
and I'm not sitting there being intentional with him,
waiting to experience him, right?
So then, like you said, a distraction, you miss it.
Yes.
How do you just like clear your head,
I guess is kind of what I'm asking.
Yeah, so there's different ways
I could go about explaining this.
Okay, so are you talking about
after you are already seeing Jesus and engaging with him,
you get, for lack of a better phrase,
get distracted or you get bored?
Or are you talking about getting your mind to the point
where you can just slow it down enough
to start to engage with the Lord?
Yeah, I would say that, slow it down to like get into it
because yeah, if I sit too long
and I'm like trying to like think about nothing,
like I just, like I said,
I go through my laundry list in my head,
these are the things I need to go do
or, and I'm distracted by that.
And it's like, I mean, I have had really good quiet times
and I feel like I have experienced the Lord.
Yeah.
But it's, I know it takes like how do I,
yeah, just to get to that spot basically, yeah.
Yeah, so what I did to,
and this is like really reaching back
and I haven't taught anyone,
talked to anyone about how to do this in a while.
So this is like really reaching back.
What I did in order to teach myself
how to start having mastery over my own thought,
my own mind, so that I could choose what it is
that I wanted to focus on.
And I wasn't going to be mastered or distracted
or controlled by all of the other thoughts
and all of the other noise that we crowd in,
like a to-do list or whatever.
And so what I did is I just began to practice things where,
and this is what you can do,
like before you engage with the Lord, if you'd like,
just kind of go through a process of where you,
I would kind of then,
what helped me is I would close my eyes
and this is again to like, just to kind of like,
you know, you're talking about like, I don't know,
focus, which you can tell that I'm having a hard time
talking, it's very late at night
and I have not eaten well, so I apologize.
But that I would close my eyes
and I would imagine blackness
and then one dot of light really, really far away.
And then so that I've got everything cleared out,
but then what's going to happen
is you're going to start having all of these thoughts.
because you got nothing. Now what I have is the reason I have the light is I focus on the light
and it gives me something to focus on otherwise I've got this blackness and I focus on the light
and I would just do that because what you're doing is you're practicing and exercising like a muscle
control over your own thought. So you do that and you sit there for just a second you're like oh
okay I can do this and then all of a sudden the thoughts start coming. So here's the key move
through your thoughts as if they're clouds. So you'll start seeing it's as if these thoughts
start coming towards you and instead of thinking instead of getting distracted by them like oh my
word there's a thought and oh my god what's that thing and oh my word what's that thinking
what what what um what am I thinking there you're instead of that think of them kind of like a cloud
you're moving through them they're not substance that you need to pay attention to.
So when any of us first flew in an airplane I don't know y'all but I always felt like you know
I was going to when the when the plane begins to descend and you see a cloud below you and you
think oh my word we're going to crash into the cloud and you don't you just move through it.
So you what I did is I began to move through my thoughts as if they were clouds so there it's
coming towards me and I have to realize it's not a threat I don't have to pay attention to it I
don't have to note what it is that that that thought is or or think deeply into it it just
kind of like oh there's that whatever okay oh there's that whatever and I just move on.
That's how I learned to master my thoughts instead of being mastered by them and constantly
you know get all this distraction as if I felt I had to pay attention to them. You don't
you're the you're the um uh you're the master that God created and you get to determine and
get to choose as a king in your own kingdom what it is that you pay attention to and what you don't.
So I just I didn't empty my mind as if I had no thoughts because you can't do that you just don't
let them master you you just don't think about it. So you might know what a thought is or what
a thought is about but you don't go any further you're just like okay whatever
okay whatever it's like walking through a crowd of people and they're all trying to get your
attention and you it's not that you don't look at them it's not like you pretend they're not there
you're just like whatnot whatever you know okay whatever you just keep going because you are
choosing yourself and you're choosing your destination you're choosing your focus over
all of those things um and that that's how I began to practice that like I said it's a muscle
and I've done it so long I I really hadn't thought about how I had it's been a while since I thought
about how I practiced that um but that's what I used to do and then it enables you to more easily
focus on what it is that you choose to focus on like okay it's me and Jesus because in a manner
of speaking you are you're declaring to the universe to um to your world to creation that
um that you're a king who's making a decision about what it is he's going to do in other words
you're choosing to own yourself instead of being owned by the environment around you or whatever
is trying to vie for your attention you own yourself you own your decision and you don't
have to answer to any of creation for those decisions you're choosing now I'm going to focus
on Jesus because this is what I decide I'm going to do I don't have to explain it to anyone I don't
have to explain it to creation don't have to explain it to myself I get to choose so it's an
it's a way of exercising our kingly ownership and mastery of ourselves because God says that that's
what he gave us um if he gave us um our our right to um uh to make our own decisions and to declare
our own decrees within our kingdom which maybe we'll talk about another point anyway does that
does that help at all okay okay good I'm glad let's see what time okay so we um probably need
to go but does anyone have just a quick question Casey you good just sitting there listed okay
great yeah does anyone have anything really quick that y'all um before we jump off
but yeah go ahead Kate these hours always fly by for me probably not for you but they do for me
no this is great um okay quick question in regards to uh you had mentioned um
just often throughout the day just declaring that or I'm choosing that God loves me yeah
is there anything more to unpack of it I mean I think you touched on it briefly and just
and just speaking that out in that moment or thinking that in that moment like no I'm just
choosing I'm just choosing that he loves me um can you go into a little bit more depth in that
in terms of how you walk that out day to day in the moments where you're feeling unloved or
Yeah, so it's the same thing that I was just talking about with Dustin. You're a king who's making a decision
You are owning yourself and you're making a choice because you say so
Now we can safely do that and knowing that we have permission and authority by God to do that because he said it first
He said that we love him
and so all we have to do is make a choice in the decision that in our kingdom in our realm within the in the
And the aspect in which we have authority and can make a rule and make a determination we choose
Intentionally that what God has said is actually true in our reality
So I'm so when I make a choice, I make it my reality because I think so
I've decided that this is how it's going to be
so this is it's fascinating that you ask that because it can be a challenge to
wrap our minds around because if y'all were raised in in
church societies like I was we're always taught that we are basically minions and
We're just always waiting on God and we're always like, you know
We're just we're always told what to do and we have no will and you know
We're just we're just waiting on what on God's words so we can be obedient and it's more than that
God's like no, don't be a limp dish rag engage with me make a choice
I chose do you choose me?
So all that God asks of us is that we always choose what it is that he creates what he says is true
And what he presents to us as opposed to going off on our own and making our own decisions about doing all kinds of other
things but like no no of
all of the choices that you can make because I created you to be able to make choices of
All the choices that you could make you that you could direct your intention and your free will and your decisions on
I'm asking you to chew and I'm encouraging you to choose the ones that I presented to you are the truth
That I told you, you know that I love you unconditionally, etc
Choose make a decision for that. It's kind of similar to this is how I describe it
We can't live vicariously through God's will just because God says something will not make it so in our lives
Okay some point the fact that he said that we get all of these benefits by being a Christian and there are so many things
that we
That we read about in the Bible and we're not experiencing our lives, right? Does that make God a liar? No
So he's given them to us that there's some way and so and that's his will
But it's God's will being done right now. No
We have to engage with it. In other words. God says, okay child
This is what I am saying is true and I'm gonna leave it here and then I'm gonna remove my hand away
And so it's just gonna lay here now. I'm asking you
What do you choose you could choose this or you could choose this and what do you choose to be?
To be your reality the reality in which you live make a willful conscious intentional decision
What do you choose? You're like, okay God of my own free will I choose and I decide that this thing that you say
Is going to be what is true in my life. It is going to be the the
Nucleus around which my life revolves is this truth and God's like, okay
Finally that truth that I've declared and my will that I've declared
Finally that thing can become real in your life because you are the one who's the king who has the authority
who's
And they say of what gets to happen in your kingdom and you just said that this thing that I said is true
Can now happen in your kingdom?
So it's that type of a willful and intentional choice when I say a choice I do mean a choice
I mean you decide whether you're gonna eat. I don't know
Like what are you gonna eat tonight? You know you get to or what did you eat?
You know you get to choose. Did you want to eat a hamburger or are you going to eat?
You know the pizza which one are you gonna eat? You know, you get to choose
You know, you're not you're not a child anymore. You don't have to listen to your mom
You get to choose. It's that same kind of a willful intentional
Kingly decision that we're making in the spirit, but all this is all that but what makes this all
Okay, is the fact that God's saying choose what I've already declared is true
Don't just make something up because you want it to be true. That won't make it true
I'm asking you to choose the things that I've already told you are true
But you have to put yourself on the line because say for instance
Like I said, we can't live vicariously through God's will just because God says that this is true
Doesn't make doesn't mean that I get to live that out and get to experience it in my life. I
This guy is the king, remember God gave,
says that the heaven is the Lord's and God gave the earth
and the earth was given to man, right?
And you told Adam to have dominion over creation.
That means that creation was literally made
to respond to us and to what we tell it to do
and what we tell it to be,
which is a much deeper conversation.
But anyway, that I talk about like at the end of the series
of the Inner is Rest series
and we're unfortunately not gonna get into that one,
but I can touch on it periodically in this one.
And the fact that creation was made to respond to us
because God says, I am a king over my own kingdom
and I wanna teach you to be like me
because I'm your father, you're my son,
so look like me in your own kingdom.
I'm gonna mature you to run your kingdom
as a good and kind king, just like I run mine.
So he gave us a kingdom
and one of the kingdoms is ourselves.
Therefore, he gave us the authority to speak into it.
Therefore, we're the one who has to give his principle
permission to operate in our life.
That means that we're on the line
and we're to, how would you put that?
If it doesn't work out.
So if we just live vicariously through God's will,
well, God, you said, and it didn't work out
and so I'm not to blame that, that's all on you, God.
God said, that's not how it works.
The only way that it happens in your life
is if you choose of your own free will
that what I've said is true, really is true
and that's gonna happen in your life.
So if things don't happen, guess who's on the hook for it?
Us and we don't want to be on the hook for it.
If we experience some kind of a pain,
we don't want to be the ones to blame
for our having made that choice.
We want God to be one to take it.
So that's why we don't wanna make an intentional decision.
We're just like, okay, God, you made that promise.
If it's gonna happen, I guess if you say it's gonna happen,
I guess it's just gonna happen.
So I'll just wait for it
and I guess it'll just be,
and if you didn't say that, well then it's not gonna happen
or if you're really not true,
then it really won't happen, but I'm out of it.
No, no, no, God says, no, you put yourself in the game
and you put your own self at risk
and you put your own skin in the game.
You choose that it's true so that if it doesn't happen,
you've got no one to blame for yourself
because God didn't make you make that choice.
So we're risking things.
Now, we don't ever have to worry about it not coming true
or it not happening because God's the one who said so.
I'm just saying that's the type of risk
that it feels like to us when we make that choice.
So when I talk about you make a choice that God loves you,
you actually make a choice.
God says, willful intentional decision
is if you're a king making, here's the word,
making it an autonomous decision.
Where God's not in it, God's already made his choice.
I already told you, this is it.
This is what I declare is true.
And then he lets go and he backs off and he says,
okay, Kate, now what do you say is true in your life?
This is what I say is true.
I'm gonna take my hands off it and I'm gonna walk away.
Now you have to walk over to the table
and you have to say, no, this Lord
is what I choose for myself.
And so you choose that God loves you.
God says, I love you unconditionally.
And so you have to, and then he lets go, walks off
and you have to say, I choose that that is true.
So it will feel like you're making it up
because you feel like, oh my word,
I just made an autonomous decision
as if I'm like trying to create reality or something.
You're not because God just said it was true,
but it's gonna feel like you're creating your own reality.
But only create the reality,
only give the authority and the permission
to the things that God has already declared to be true.
But you have to risk yourself
in making that decision that it really is true.
Does that help?
Okay, so like I said, when I talk about making a choice,
it's like, no, with your own decision, your own will,
your own free will, but I was not taught that.
I had to learn that.
I literally had to learn that without anybody telling me.
It was just me and God.
And so can you imagine when I'm first like stepping out
on these things and I'm like choosing
my own free will that something's true,
I'm like, am I risking my relationship with the Lord?
Is he gonna be upset because I can be like
one of those new agers or one of those Satan worship person
just doing whatever it is that I want
just because I want to, you know?
And then I had.
find out from the Lord and from the power that came as a result and the fact that finally God
showed up in my life. I'm like, oh, so you really were waiting on me the whole time to make a
decision of my own free will for you? It's like, yeah, I was just waiting on you. Oh my word. I
didn't know that I had that right to make my own decision to choose God. I thought it was just,
you know, I just, I made myself available. So God come and take me. God's like, no,
I'm not going to take anybody. You give yourself to me. That's the only way that you can come into
me. I'm not going to come take you. You have to be the one to submit yourself to me. You have to
be the one to put yourself on the altar because I won't come get you. I will invite you. I will
walk with you the whole way, but I won't take you. You have to give you. And that comes from
our own willful choice and decision. So anyway, yeah. Good. All right. Well, I will see y'all on
Sunday. I'll be letting everybody know and y'all be breaking up into a rest groups,
which are basically kind of like, think of like small groups or whatever to talk about,
talk about rest. There'll be a peer leader for each group. And, and so I'll, I'll announce what
where, you know, everything that you'll need to know about that. That will be on Sunday night
for nine to 10 PM Eastern standard time. And then of course we'll have the teaching on Tuesday,
et cetera. So anyway, and then of course, stay active in group. Feel free to ask questions
as things come up, because the whole point is not to learn what rest is, and it's not to learn
about how to do this. It's to actually live it. So anyway. All right. Good to visit with y'all.
Oh, Rita, did you have a question? Oh.