Okay, now that we've had the creepy voice, all right, I may be the only one that's ever
thought that.
But seriously, it's just kind of creepy.
All right.
So does anyone have a question they would like to start us off with?
Because we all stare at each other awkwardly.
Only me, I can always come up with something, but I always prefer to get a question.
I've only had to do that, I think twice in all of the all of the fireside chats that
I've done, which I think I'm now close to 50.
I've only ever had to do that twice, though.
So I like to sit and wait for a little bit.
So yeah.
You know, when you're talking about sons and and kings, you don't use the feminine gender,
the female gender.
I was wondering about that.
Yeah.
So sons.
Well, so I'm glad you asked that I've actually been asked that before and did a whole teaching
on it.
So it's in the it's in the guide.
Oh, did you ask that liberty all like a two years ago or however long it was?
So there's teaching because liberty helps me.
So I set aside some time and I addressed it.
But so it's because in the Bible, God always addresses us as sons when it's talking about
our relationship to the Lord, meaning like our relationship of like a sonship covenant.
Now, yes.
In the Old Testament, there are times where he talks about like sons and daughters, etc.
But also he does mention that in Galatians, he says that I think it's Galatians, you know,
where it mentions, you know, that there's no neither a Jew nor Greek nor slave nor free
nor male nor female, etc.
So sonship is just strictly a relationship word, not a gender word, not a gender role.
So a son, because we're a son to a father, and we have that kind of relationship as opposed
to trying to differentiate, you know, whether or not we're, I mean, trying to differentiate
genders, it's strictly talking about how do we relate to God, we relate to God as a son,
that's our connection with him.
And so because he's not identifying anything or trying to delineate a difference between
a male or a female, he has a word that he uses is he just uses the word son, at least
that's how we translate it into English.
Now what the original Greek is, I don't know, I would imagine that the original Greek and
Hebrew was also the masculine term as well.
Because typically in language, you always use the masculine to refer to humanity.
They use the feminine to refer to certain things like ships, nations, etc.
But whenever and I have a degree in English, so I'll just say that in just for what it
is that we've that someone whoever it is out there that chose it, they determined, okay,
well, which pronoun or are we going to use in order to refer to people, if we want to
use a singular word, but we have both, we have two singular words, we have one for him,
I mean, for in other words, a male gender and one for female gender.
So what are we going to pick if we have to pick one, and it was just chosen that we pick
him, probably because it was a very, I don't know, you could look at it from a sociological
perspective and say, oh, it's a very male dominated society and perspective and the
fact that they were the ones who are usually out in the professional world at the time.
So I don't really care about any of that.
I mean, really, I'm not, I have no big thing, big beef, or whatever, between male and female
and like the difference between and, you know, like the feminist movement or anything.
It's like, oh, that's nice.
I think it's great that we're all different.
But as far as this goes, this isn't it's because that's how God always seems to refer to our
covenant with him.
In other words, our relationship with him is he refers to it as a sonship covenant.
And it's not related to gender, it's just related to the fact that we are a son in
relationship to a father.
So it's how we approach him, it's how he sees us as opposed to calling out a gender.
I have a longer explanation for it, I think in the in the that you can look in the guides
and look at additional teachings, and it's in there somewhere.
But that's the general idea.
Does that answer your question?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Sure.
Yeah.
So anyone have anything else?
So, I was going to ask.
Yeah.
So, I don't know, one, one way of saying it is a little bit more general and once maybe more specific, but talking about, like how we talk a lot about how we relate to the father like personally and how we view, you know, who he is and who we are and that's
also so important. I think something that I keep running up against and and mulling over in my mind is like how do we think about like other people like other sons, right.
And maybe more specifically on this is like a theological question of like how do we view people who are not.
Like stuck in religion and like rules and rigidity and, you know, shaming and condemning everyone that doesn't do it this way and believe this way in Christianity or if it's like people who are toxic and unhealthy and abusive, either, either way like
how do we view other people to see them through the father's eyes, especially. I mean this gets into bigger stuff to with, with kind of, you know, I guess, the view that you might have or we might have individually on heaven and hell and different
things but like how do we, how do we view people rightly I guess.
How do we look at them and judge them in any way based on the fruit of their lives and their character like do we try not to make any assumptions about the motivations of their heart even if they are continually abusing people and kind of like you described
in court, and you know kind of what happened to them and how do we see God's even God's heart or his view of like vengeance versus mercy which is really his vengeance is mercy.
Oftentimes, you know, I think that's what he wants to pour out his mercy more than anything.
And we don't want people to get what they deserve. So, I hope there's something in there that you can take and run with.
Absolutely.
So, the way that I view people from what it is that I understand from scripture is that we're all created in his image we're all created as spirit. However, we also all have a flesh, including all the non Christians as well you know spirit and soul and body,
and they have made they have not come into agreement that God has died for them.
So God says that he died for the whole world God says that what it is that he did he didn't just do for Christians now sure five point Calvinist would disagree with that.
But, which is what I used to be, but in fact I wrote an entire paper and got an A on it, because even about this in in college, even though my professor disagreed with me.
He said that I that I actually explained it all so logically sound and so logically well that he gave me an A.
And, and he didn't agree with it. And now neither do I.
So the thing is that I thought that I knew and I get back it up with scripture and everything that it worked very differently than what it is that I believe now.
But, so what it is that I believe now is that yes God died for God died for everyone. That's what scripture that look what it looks like and what I sense you know my spirit my relationship Lord.
That's what it looks like to me God died literally for everyone, and then therefore it leaves it up to us as to whether or not we're going to come into agreement with the fact that we are who God says that we are that he that he's that he's given us
the opportunity to have everything. Are we going to choose to accept it to allow ourselves to be unified with him, you know, and, you know, etc. Or do we not, you know, do we choose instead to go the way of Adam and Eve where they chose.
I know I'm going to live on my own. I'm going to do everything on my own. I'm going to create my own outcomes, because I want to be in control I don't feel safe.
I don't feel I don't believe God. I don't believe that he's a safe place for me and therefore I'm going to take control of it.
And then what happens when we believe that we are unsafe is will then we start doing very abusive things to other people, because we're not seeing things rightly we're not seeing things through the eyes of Christ.
We're not seeing things as God sees them and assist, and because we've rejected that truth, we've said no. What he says is not true. So if what he says isn't true.
So, you know, how are we going to start acting like we're going to start doing all kinds of things in self protection mode in self preservation mode, which means emotional self preservation physical self preservation sociological self preservation, the financial
that we're that we come can come at it from this belief that so many on here, you know, have from this perspective that we learned when we were young.
idea that no one is going to take care of me, so I have to take care of me, I have to do it.
And so say, for instance, like abusers or narcissists, or, you know, to talk about like
extreme cases, you know, and even those people who are out there who aren't believers, who are
atheists, or they simply just don't believe in Christ, you know, but they're good people,
all this, all the same, that it's the fact that they have not, they're all in the same position,
the fact that they haven't chosen to agree with and to believe God, come to agreement with them,
and so they're all in self-preservation mode. It's just that they've all chosen different
modalities of self-preservation. Some choose their integrity as self-preservation. There's
some aspect in which they believe that integrity and honesty, even to the point of their own
self-sacrifice, is the higher truth, and so they're going to follow that. And then there
are others that don't think that that's the best and wisest and most protective mode for them,
and so they're going to lie, cheat, steal, hurt other people, etc., because they believe,
as weird as it sounds, that the highest good is self-preservation. And so that's where
they're going to turn towards. So it's ultimately a rejection of what God has said is true,
and so what's the alternative? Okay, if he says he's provider and he says he's protector and I've
rejected that, that leaves me to have to do it on my own. And so what things do I have to do in
order to make that happen? How can I get a particular outcome? I can get a particular
outcome if I lie, cheat, and steal my way to it. I can guarantee my outcome. Sure, I've got a bit of
a risk. I've got a bit of a risk that I'm going to be found out. I've got a bit of a risk that
other people out there who could come against me and try to thwart my plans and they
might be more powerful than me. They might cheat stronger than me. They might out cheat me,
out lie me, whatever. So there is an element of risk, but they're choosing the more what they feel
they feel more in control of creating the outcome that they want, that they think is going to
provide for and protect them. They feel that the greater guarantee is if they do all of these other
things. And so sure, there is a risk, but they think that the risk is lower than trusting God.
So anyway, but so as far as like how I view them and interact with them, I see them
as, as spirit that doesn't remember who it is. So because remember, it says that until
we are united with Christ, then we, then our spirits are dead. I personally, again, this is
my own personal belief based off of just my own journey with the Lord. And when I can read or
sense that out of scripture, I believe that we're, we all have a spirit. I just believe that his,
that when he's saying that the spirit is dead, that it means that it's disconnected from the
soul and the, and the not disconnected as an actually, but as if the soul and the body can't
access it in a way, so to speak, it's not it, they're not being able to access the life of the
spirit of God. Maybe, maybe that's a bit more accurate. So I know I'm not being perfectly
theologically accurate. I'm just kind of telling you, this is kind of sort of the vague place where
I am, where I don't know exactly how it all works, but I know that it says in scripture that,
you know, our spirits, until we accept Christ, they are dead. So it says that, but also it said,
it looks like throughout scripture that everyone was born with the spirit. So how could we all
have a spirit and it be in existence and yet it be dead because doesn't dead mean not existent.
And so I think that it means that there's some kind of an aspect of like their connection with
the Lord or whatever, that they just don't have an opportunity to access because they haven't come
into agreement that God did for them. What he said that he did, but it, so coming from that perspective,
I believe that they all have spirits. I believe God created them in his image and therefore I
view them like that. I view them as God created this thing that he desired. They are something
he desired. So he created them, but they made a choice. They've been making choices continually
to operate out of their flesh, to not come into agreement with God, to take control for
for themselves and then to operate from the, from worldly principles and the poor things
they are, they're people who don't choose faith in the Lord are like children. They're scrambling
for, like I said, just self-preservation and self-protection and they're just doing the best
that they know how, but, but in actuality, even though they feel they have control,
they're actually not in control and they're actually not the higher power.
Now, according to the kingdom of the world, sure, they might be a very high power, they
might be, quote unquote, in control because they've learned the principles of the kingdom
of the world and how to get them to work in their favor.
They've learned the complicated structure and how to interact with it in order to get
a particular result that they want for their life, to protect themselves, to get themselves
money, to get themselves fame or whatever.
But because the kingdom of heaven always supersedes it, and the kingdom of heaven brings spirit,
which is life, and the kingdom of world brings nothing but death, this is always the higher
power.
So even though they think this is, it's really not.
Even though they think that there may be risen to the highest echelon of power within the
kingdom of this world, they haven't in reality.
Because if we shift, if those of us give ourselves, if we've given ourselves over to the Lord,
allow the kingdom of his authority to come in, or the authority I should say of his kingdom
to come in, it's always going to supersede the greatest power of the kingdom of the world.
So I just view them like that, and therefore I have tremendous compassion for them because
I don't see that who they're presenting me to, that who that they are presenting to me
that they are is actually who they are, because their identity is in their spirit, not in
their soul or their body.
They think it is.
They think it's in the soul or the body, and that's how they're acting, but it's not actually.
And so I want to view them the way that it's actually true.
Their identity is in their spirit, and so I value them as a human being, but I also,
and I interact with them according to who God has declared them to be, not according
to who they presented themselves to me as, but there's also a boundary kind of like with
a child who's throwing a temper tantrum and flailing his arms, you're not going to get
close to them.
So it's that kind of thing.
So even though I try to view them the way that the Lord does and view that they are
spirit and that they're not the temper tantrum and the violence and the abuse that they are
expressing in the soul or the body, kind of like a child throwing a temper tantrum, it
doesn't mean that I need to identify them as how, in the way that they're identifying
themselves.
They're identifying themselves as flesh and acting like that, but I don't have to identify
them as flesh and I can identify them as spirit, but if they're presenting themselves to me
in a temper tantrum of violence and abuse and narcissism or whatever, I'm not going
to keep myself in their proximity to be hit.
But I don't judge them and identify them as that, I judge and I identify them as who God
is, who God says that they are.
So that keeps the compassion and that view of seeing them as Christ without meaning that
I'm putting myself in an abusive situation.
Right.
Definitely.
So then are they, are they in Christ in the sense that, you know, our, our identity is
all in him because he died for us all, are they like, say somebody who believes in him
is, is a believer, you know, going to church or, you know, expressing that they've accepted
Jesus, but they're living this lifestyle ongoingly.
So like, how does he view them?
Like, is he going to reject them because they rejected him?
Like we're talking a lot about how he loves us and how unconditional it is.
So I guess like, where's the dividing line of, I guess the good fruit and the bad fruit,
or is there such thing as good and bad?
Like how does he eventually judge or does he give everybody chances to the point where
they've gotten all the chances to know him in this personal way and they would truly
have to decide, I don't want him to be separated from him in eternity.
Or is there really, truly hell like that with the loving God?
Everyone believes differently about that.
But what I will say is that, well, for one thing, there is such a thing as good and bad
fruit.
There is that, but in the, in this, in the covenant of sonship, okay, let me back up
in the, in the covenant of the law, the good and bad fruit is the things that is the outcomes
of what we do.
But remember that there's a, that the, in the flesh, it can bring nothing but death.
So even if it's a good fruit, it has no life in it.
So, but in the, in this kingdom of, I mean, in the sonship covenant, there's still good
and bad fruit, but the, well, so to speak in the fact that there's, there's only, there
is fruit, but it's only good fruit is the fruit of the spirit, which brings life.
So there's no good and bad, obviously in the spirit, cause there's no good or evil.
There's just, there's just God, you know, out of spirit, out of himself, there's only
his character.
And so that's why Eve didn't Adam and Eve, when they were first created, they didn't
know the difference between good and evil, and they didn't have to because they just
operated out of the character of God himself that they were born from.
And everything they did was good because God is good.
They weren't good because they were following certain laws and did certain things and didn't do others.
Good wasn't good. The character of God couldn't be defined, limited, and identified by an outside set of rules.
It was simply his character. So if he did something, it meant it was good.
Whatever he did, it meant he was good.
But if we're outside of that and we're operating according to the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,
and there's good and bad fruit, so to speak, and the fact that you can have a good outcome or you can have a bad outcome,
you can do something that looks like God or you can do something that doesn't look like God,
and we call those good or bad fruit.
But either way, they both have death in it because the tree of the knowledge of good and evil only has one fruit.
It's a tree that's not bearing both pears and apples.
It's just an apple tree or a pear tree. It is one fruit.
So if it's the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, that fruit has both good and evil in it.
So every single fruit that we take from it has – even if we think, oh, I'm doing good,
if it's out of the flesh, there's some aspect that's going to bring forth death and not life.
So anyway, but I was saying all of that, and then I was using that to actually kind of like give a foundation of expounding on the question even further.
I'm trying to remember. Oh, because you were asking about heaven and hell or whatever.
So one thing that I do know is that people went to Christ.
It says that they died, and then Jesus – or in the last days or however that Jesus phrased it,
it said, people will come to me and they will say, Father, you know, Jesus, I cast out demons in your name.
You know, I healed the sick in your name.
I did all of these things in your name, and he says, depart from me. I never knew you.
So even people can use God's name and do the, quote, unquote, the good thing, the right thing.
But if it's not out of spirit, if it's not out of that connection with the Lord that we have chosen to receive God and who he is by faith
and that we accept that Jesus died for our sins, you know, and all of that, if we don't do that, then he's saying, I don't know you.
Why? Because I don't have relationship. Because that brings relationship. That brings union.
So we can do all the good that we want to. We can use his name and cast out demons and heal people.
The nonbelievers are going around healing a lot of people, possibly even with the New Agers,
they might be healing more people currently than Christians. I don't know.
Dr. Joe Dispenza is going around – from what I understand, I don't want to judge anyone,
but from what I understand, I do not believe he is a professed Christian.
And he is going around with doing healing seminars or conferences or whatever.
And people are getting healed. They're nonbelievers. This is New Age stuff.
This is Oprah Winfrey, the secret stuff. And they're all getting healed. Why?
Because God gave permission and authority to man to express things into the earth and for creation to respond.
But the thing is that healing or not healing, it's not bringing forth life. It's not in the spirit.
It's not eternal. It's not based out of relationship with God.
And those people could even use the name of Jesus to try to cast demons out of each other because they are very aware.
In fact, nonbelievers are more aware of demons, I think, than the Christians are.
They're very aware of that. They just have their own witchcraft and witch doctors to deal with them.
And they've tried to create in order to deal with these things.
And they can try to use the name of Jesus to kick him out. And who knows? Maybe it actually works.
All I know is that Jesus said in the Bible himself, he said, people are going to come to me and say,
I've done all of these things. Doesn't that mean something?
He says, no, not if you haven't chosen relationship. In other words, not if you haven't chosen union.
And the only way to choose union, the only way to receive that union.
Yeah. And the only way to choose that union is to choose what gave us that union,
which is the fact that Christ died for us and then he rose again and that he paid for us so that we don't have to do anything else.
We have to choose that there is nothing else that we can there's nothing that we can offer.
And that he's done that. Not only does he do everything, he has already done it.
He said, you actually have to completely give up yourself in order to receive that.
And if you haven't, well, then I don't know you. So I do know that from the Bible.
But everyone's everyone believes very differently on whether there is heaven, whether there is hell or not,
or whether there's like this purgatory thing or whatever. So everyone believes a little differently about that.
So thank you. Not to ask you like the hardest question.
Yeah, the one thing that everybody has the most differing opinions on our beliefs on,
but no, that's fine.
Well, because everybody has differing opinions.
That's why I'm just keeping what I believe in myself, but yeah, I've, I've answered it
before, so no worries.
That's what it's here for is answering, asking and answering the hard questions.
So thank you.
You're welcome.
Does anyone have anything else that's come up?
We've had the hard questions all downhill from you.
That was a great question.
And so my questions around fear, because I'm kind of circling back to the negative
emotions conversation, recognizing that a lot of the root of why, why I was trapping
emotions, you know, at the end of the day has to do with fear.
And I'm just curious, like.
You know, I know scripture over 300 times says, do not fear, for instance, like
scripture doesn't say don't be sad, but it does say, do not.
I think what is it like three hundred and sixty five times or something like that?
I literally think it's like one for every day of the year.
Yeah, that's why I remember people will like use that.
You do know there's one for every day of the year, like if only I'd remember it every
day of the year. So I'm I'm just curious.
Do you have personal testimony or stories of like, what does it look like when you
recognize like, OK, I'm dealing with fear and I just can't seem to shake that like it
kind of gets down to like.
I'm just afraid.
Yeah, I'm just curious.
I would just love to hear how you process that in rest.
I wish I could remember I have something I could say, but I wish that I could remember
an exact situation.
Well, I mean, there I know there's the good Joey in it because they all had they're
all rooted in fear.
So chaos and all of these ideas came to mind like, oh, yeah, there's that one and that
one and that one. And so
ultimately what I do is I just choose something higher because that's what I am
valuing the most at that time is the fear.
In other words, it has all my attention.
It has my attention.
It has it even though we don't value it as in like we've we want it, it's a value as
in like where we're placing our heart, so to speak.
And and when I realized that I just shifted it to God, I shifted it to something that
he said that I'm trying to come into agreement with.
And I choose that as my higher value and my higher priority.
So, for instance, I see what's an example.
I'm trying to think of one that I haven't like used a good time.
There were there was one and I've told you all this before, but I'll say it again.
I haven't talked about it as much.
And that is when I did the very first rest intensive and I had told gathered all of the
people who were going to be doing it.
And this was in April of twenty twenty.
And this was maybe.
Oh, when was it?
I think this was one or two days before it was supposed to start, maybe.
And I realized that my Internet, that that money for my Internet was due.
And I had known that it was coming up.
But the way that I've been living is I just live very normally.
And then I just wait for God to bring the supply for the need in his time.
And I don't worry about something that's, you know, three days from now, like, you
know what, that's a bill that God knows is coming.
And so I'm not going to worry about it, you know, and then including like day two,
day three, and then on the day of I'm like, OK, I even though it's due today, I
still can't worry about it.
But anyway, I still have to choose, OK, God, even though I don't see the provision,
you are still provider.
I choose your provide that you were provider in my life over me ever seeing
provision over me receiving the manifestation of your character.
I choose that I am that my higher value is that you are that to me.
And that's what I choose.
And anyway, so what happened is that I got to the point where the I don't remember
if it was due like maybe it was due that day.
And that's what the issue was.
It was due that day.
Maybe my Internet was even yeah, my Internet was going to be cut off that day
and nothing was coming in.
And I thought, OK, the rest intensive is going to start in a few days, meaning that
I have made my obligation to all of these people.
And there is and I have a and I was concerned of what how it was going to affect
my reputation. This is the first time I am doing the rest intensive.
And all of these people are going I have absolutely no idea what it is, but OK,
sure, I'll.
part of it. And, and anyway, and then I'm trying something new. In other words, it was just,
it was a very relationally risky thing that it felt like I was doing because these were friends
of mine anyway. Um, and, uh, so I, I remember thinking, okay, Ashley, you know how this works.
You choose to not take control either emotionally or physically for, as for a situation. So don't
be scrambling around thinking, oh my goodness, how can I solve my lack? Choose first. Did God
say you're in lack? No. He says that I'm not in lack. Okay. So I first have to come into
agreement with that. I don't see it, but he says that I'm not. And it doesn't matter what the life
experiences I have. If he says I'm not in lack, I choose. I'm not in lag, even though the world
would call literally what I'm living in right now called lack. So I choose that instead. I choose
that over my experience, like literally what I'm living through. So anyway, and I thought, okay,
he says I'm not in lack. Okay. So there, and he says that he wants to be in control of the outcome
and that he will create the outcome. Okay. So I can't take on the pressure of the outcome.
So I let all of that go. And then I give it over to him. I'm like, okay, apparently he is in,
he is responsible for the outcome. That's what he's chosen. Okay. All right. So I, so,
so immediately inside I still, and I went into rest and I stopped being so anxious and so
stressed. I was like, okay, so now what do we do? And so I thought, okay, so how now do I approach
God about like, how now do you actually pray? If you're not praying out of anxiety,
if you're praying, if we're so used to praying for something that we think we don't have asking
God to give it to us, how do we pray? If God says, no, you already have it. I need you to
come into agreement with it. So, okay. First I can't approach God and call him a liar and then
ask him for something. I have to come into him with agreement and agreement that, okay, God,
you say that this is what I have. Okay. So then Lord, how do you want that? How do you want that
to work? How do you want me to, to, to participate in that? And so literally I lay down on the bed
and I asked him, okay, God. Okay. So this is the situation and you know, it's the situation.
And again, inside me, I could not have accusation against the Lord. Lord, why did you put me in this
situation? Why did you allow this me to get to this point? Why, you know, what are you doing?
Lord, don't you know, Lord, don't you remember me, Lord, am I alone? And you know, I couldn't do that.
I'm like, no, I choose God over my circumstances. I choose God over my potential consequences
of if this doesn't come through. And if like my worst case scenario in my mind actually does
come through, I choose him on this side of it. When I could take control again, I choose him
instead over taking control of and, um, and, uh, determining it, uh, an outcome. So once I did all
that and I was like, okay, I choose God and, um, over accusing him. And then I just said, okay,
God, then what would you like to do? So this is the situation. You already know the situation.
I'm just sharing it with you because you're carrying the burden, the pressure and responsibility. So,
and I'm not so, but you want me to participate with you in life. I'm physically living this
life out Lord. And there's this thing called bills and deadlines and whatever, this is real life. So
this is the principles of the world that you put me into. So how do I live existing in and interacting
in a world that operates according to principles? What do I do? You know,
they're good principles that you created. How do you want me to interact with your good principles?
And so he said, um, so that's all I asked him. What would you like to do? I know you're,
I know that you are who you say that you are. You could choose to do something or not do something,
but I'm just going to ask you, what are you going to do? What would you like me to participate in?
And he asked me, he said, have your parents giving you your money for your birthday?
I was like, that's an interesting question. I was like, well, I don't know, but I think so.
I think they went ahead and deposited it into my bank account. And he's like, but you don't know.
That's true. So I called my mom and again, no stress, no anxiety. I just talked to her and
we chat about all kinds of things. Cause I'm thinking they're actually, there's nothing to
worry about. So don't get down to business because something needs to be taken care of.
It's all fine. God's got it. And so I'm just going to call my mom. If I wasn't in this highly
pressurized situation, what would I do? I'm like, this is how I'd handle it. So that's how I was
going to handle it. If I believe it, if I have faith, how will I act? If I believe that that's
true, what would I do? So I'm like, okay, then I followed that. And I started doing all this.
So I'm just talking to her. And finally I asked her and she said, well, no, I was waiting for
your permission to put it in your bank. It's like, it's like, oh yeah. And she said, would you like
me to put it in right now? And I was like, sure. Yeah. Yeah. That works for you. You know, that
would be, that would be great. So I didn't let her know.
I had a need, I literally think, I don't remember how much money I had.
I think I had like $6 and like 54 cents in my bank account or something.
I mean, like I had nothing and, um, and no credit card backup, nothing.
I mean, it was just, it's just like on the edge.
And, uh, and so I said, well, sure, if you'd like.
And so we, we keep talking and visiting and then she lets me know she's
transferred, she's transferred and I said, oh, okay, well, I really appreciate it.
Eventually we get off the phone.
I'm like, thank you, Lori.
That's how you chose to take care of it.
So I didn't, I chose God and what I was experiencing and growing in and
choosing in him and who I was to him and how we related, I'm a son to a
father, like what you're talking about earlier, I chose that is more
important than how to solve the problem.
In other words, that was my main focus.
And because I sought him, he added all of these things into me.
No, it was seek you first, the kingdom of God and his righteousness,
including, uh, Hebrews 11, six, where it says that without faith,
it is impossible to please God.
And, and, and like something like, well, and we all know that it, that,
oh man, I'm going to read it.
Uh, because it's really powerful, um, because it talks about what
we're supposed to have faith in, not faith that he is going to solve
our problem, faith that he's going to come through faith, that he's
going to manifest whatever, but actually we're supposed to
have faith in God himself.
Basically we're supposed to choose God, not choose what he does or
how he looks and how he manifests.
Um, Hebrews 11 and six and without faith, it is impossible to please
God because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that
he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
Not seek and, and have faith that he's going to do what he said he's
going to do, but actually seek him and who he is.
So when I made that my highest priority in that moment, and I, and there's lots
of other examples that I could give you as just one example, it's one of the
first times that I began to do that to a it's the first time I remember stopping
everything and just focusing on, on, on making, on, um, Going through a
stressful situation where I was valuing God over me, that's the first time I
remember it kind of like being in like this tight little package of like, oh,
there was this actual experience I could watch myself going through.
I've been doing this before.
That was the first time.
So anyway, and there's lots of other experiences after that.
But the thing is, I always choose God.
I always choose that he's good.
I always choose that he has not abandoned me.
I always choose that.
I'm not separated.
You know, that I'm in union with him, that he's, that he loves me unconditionally
and that he loves me more unconditionally than I believed yesterday, which I know
that sounds weird because it's already unconditional, but there's, there's
always limits to what it is that we're believing that we don't realize
that we're limiting ourselves.
And so I'm always stretching.
I'm always coming into some kind of an agreement with God about something
that's relevant to whatever situation that I'm in.
Okay.
What is something I need to agree with God about I need in this
situation because of my fear, I need to, I need to choose and come to
agreement with the fact he's provider.
And I choose that he's provider over him getting me out of this situation.
I choose him over getting out of the situation.
That's ultimately what it comes down to.
So kind of like, say for instance, you know, you've talked a lot about
like, uh, things like with relationships.
Um, so if you're in a, in a challenging relationship with someone, you've got
negative emotions coming up or fear coming up or fear and anticipation of a
conversation you're going to have, you know, or whatever, I always choose God.
And the fact that I am, that I am having faith to him in a new degree and a new
level, and that being of higher value to me than, um, uh, the situation working
out the way that I want, or, well, yeah, there's another way to phrase that as
well, but basically I stopped valuing.
I, I prioritize this over the situation in my life.
That's more important in learning that.
And that's what I'm really going to be doing in this situation.
And that relationship conflict resolution with, with so-and-so what
I'm really going to be doing is this, this is my focus, not this.
And God made the chips fall where they may kind of a thing, meaning like
you're responsible for the outcome because I'm seeking you.
I just happened to be going through these actions, but I've chosen.
I'm so excited about what I'm doing with what I'm choosing you in faith
in over what's happening here.
Anyway, does that make sense?
Yeah.
You connected the dots for me again.
And I think what solidified.
the choosing. Like I never, that verse about seeking him, I never connected that dot to
choosing the essence of who he is, not what he does, not the outcome. So it's all coming
together for me. That was really helpful. Thank you. Sure. A lot of times we think about the
about what it is that he does, because that's where our highest value is. So that's where
preachers talk to is they talk to where people are naturally wanting an answer for, how do I
feel better about the situation that I'm going through? How do I resolve this situation? How
do I get out of it? How do I, how do I avoid this in the future? How do I make things better? It's,
and God's like, no, no, no. I created you for me. And then later I made the world and I put you in
it to show that, to put into physical form who you and I are. And then eventually Adam fell.
So now where you're trying to project who you and I are into, you're trying to project it into a
world that's in, that doesn't feel safe with you. So now you're having in that process of revealing
me, you're having to overcome the fact that the flesh is subject to corruption and that there's
all this pain and all this struggle and that the, that the sin is leading to death. It's like,
you're having, you've got an additional task. And the fact that to reveal me, you have to overcome
in the overcoming you're revealing me. So the thing, the whole point of us being here
isn't to go through our milestones and to fight sin and to all of that it's to overcome that we
might, we might do what we're actually put on earth to do, which is to reveal God himself,
to actually have, have him displayed just like Jesus. When it says that the word became flesh,
spirit manifested in the physical. And that's what we're trying to do, you know, as well anyway. So
that's why God's just like, Hey, stop looking at this, which is what all of the preachers talk to.
And what, you know, catches our attention, all of that, stop trying to make life better,
choose to overcome, because that is going to, because your call to not make life better and
just kind of like go through life, you know, in comfort, it's actually to be a King over the,
over creation so that, um, so that it transforms into spirit and so that it reflects the father,
so that it stops acting like sin. So it stops acting in rebellion so that it stops so that it
eventually no longer dies. So you're trying to save it from quote unquote dying.
So did anyone have a, another question? What time is it? 56. And I think I'm missing some chats.
Oh, so Cicely asked a question. Let's see here. I I'm sorry. Let me read all these really fast.
Um, every false thing we think about ourselves. We also think about God exactly because he is
the standard of truth with a capital T. So what if we were in a place where we don't hear God,
like you did during that time? I've never heard God speak to me like that. I feel like I'm starting
to see that. I don't know what love looks like or really, really is unconditional love anyway. Yeah.
So as far as like what to do, uh, when you don't hear God, like I did, um, the, well,
one of the things is, and I don't mean to say this and it be frustrating, but we actually all hear
God. We're just not aware of it. We have a lot of things that we're used to. In fact, Cicely,
I would, I would say that you have a, uh, what's the word, a tendency, a propensity or whatever
to hear God much more sensitively than most. And I know that because you feel a lot feelers,
people who, who, um, have a lot of experience, uh, who experienced life through a lot of feeling,
a lot of creativity, who feel very deeply, et cetera. They are extremely sensitive to actually
hearing to, to hearing the Lord. But if, if we, if we X, if we have built up a lot of reason,
we can have built up a lot of resistance through disappointment, through thinking where has,
where was God when I needed him, or I did all of this stuff and he still hasn't shown up or he's
still, I still don't feel that he's pleased with me or whatever. And so if we expect that that's
how God looks at us, then we don't hear him saying otherwise, because we've already, we're that we
can't hear something that we don't believe exists. That makes sense. So it's so, um, so I just wanted
to encourage you that, that even though you don't, um, even though I believe that God is going to
take you through a journey where you are going to begin to hear him, you're going to recognize
that things that you thought were.
you are actually God talking to you.
Things that you thought was a feeling that you thought you were supposed to
disregard that you thought was your body that you thought was, I don't know,
a trigger that some of those things actually are God and that
it's not some audible voice. It's that, I mean,
the reason that I said that God could say that God, um, you know, told, asked me,
well, you know, have,
have you asked your parents if they've given you your birthday money yet? Um,
the,
the reason that I could decipher that that's what he was saying is because I had
just practiced so long I'd,
I'd figured out how to interpret how it comes in into English,
so to speak. Now, a lot of times you'd never translate it into English and you
just know when you're nowhere and then you know what to do and you've never
translated it into English.
You just heard it from the Lord and then you start acting on it and you,
and you struggle to articulate it to someone else because you've never even
articulated to yourself in English, what God told you.
But the thing is that, uh, we first have to have to have to, um,
choose, you know, in other words, you know, have faith in the fact, okay,
God talks to me. So where is he? So be, be excited.
And another thing you have to accept yourself because it's a lot of
it is probably yourself there that you think is yourself.
That's actually God.
And if you're rejecting yourself,
trying to stifle yourself and be good for God, you're stifling his voice.
So the more that you expand who it is that you are other,
you are more that you expand who it is that you are, you know, and, and,
and choose that you are good. In other words, that, that, um,
stop stifling yourself,
stop stifling what you think about yourself and start and start
believing that you are good things,
the more that you'll open and the more that you'll hear him.
But if you think that you are, um, but it,
you can be in resistance to hearing his voice.
If you are the thing that you think always needs to be
restrained. I always thought that I had to be restrained,
that I was literally being given parents to
restrain me and to teach me,
to restrain myself because I was so destructive that I would
destroy others. And myself,
I literally thought that that meant that I,
I lived every day, all day, including while I was sleeping,
which is really wild that we can do that. While I was sleeping,
I would live restrained.
I would live with this constant inward turn and self and self inward
analysis to, to check, what am I feeling? What am I thinking?
What do I need to stifle? What do I need to stop? How do I control it,
et cetera, because I came from this root belief that I was just
bad and that I could destroy things.
And so the first thing that I would recommend that you do
is what I did. Um, and I did this before even I,
um, uh, then I chose, you know, that God, you know, I choose,
I choose you instead of my lifestyle and all that a year before that
I chose me. I chose that. I thought, okay,
that's at least something I can come into agreement with God about is the fact
that I'm good.
I do not understand how that's possible because he also says that the heart is
deceitful above all things. And there's all of these reasons.
In other words,
that were going on in my head and in my feelings of why that can't be so.
And I had to stop trying to give,
I had to stop allowing them a voice and stop trying to reconcile what the
beauty and the wonderful things that God said with all of the challenging things
that God said that I, and, and I didn't know how they could both be true.
All I know. And this is what I would write.
This is what I would think that you've run into as well.
You've tried the other,
you've tried the believing God that you are so bad or what you thought that God
said, I'm not saying God said that,
what you thought God was saying that you're so bad that you have to watch
yourself, that you have to restrain yourself, that you've got to,
that you've got to do all of these, right. You know,
you can't do all of these things. And then on top of that,
there's all these things that you need to do.
And that's just burdensome and it's just oppressive. So I,
all I knew is that I had tried that for at the time it was 34
years and it hadn't worked.
So because it hadn't worked,
I made a drastic decision to just
focus on all of the good things that God said,
because I couldn't handle the good and the
the weighty things because I always either required them to reconcile, or I would give
up the good things and, and completely and solely focus on all the negative.
I couldn't have, how would I, how would I say this? Um, uh, I didn't, I didn't know
how to express it, but anyway, I was, I was very extreme. It was all or nothing.
So since I couldn't do both, I had to completely abandon this one. And here's the thing.
I, I just had to add basically just put myself in God's hands and say, God, I have been restraining
myself. I have been trying to be good. I've been trying to have a, have a relationship with you.
So I am basically what I would recommend that you do is just ask God, God, would you take
that responsibility for me? Would you take on the responsibility of me being good and me being kind
and me saying the right thing to the right people and all of the things that you, that
I believe that you require of me, you know, all of this weight that I've been carrying,
that I've been trying to figure out how to do and try all this guesswork that I've been,
you know, trying to analyze of what you want, of what you want me to say and do and how to do it.
And I'm asking that you do all that for me, that you just put me in a path and in a way and
protect me by, and him me in by like those bumpers, like in, um, like on like a bowling
alley so that I always stay in the good. And I always stay in the right. And I always make the
right decision. And, and would you just take care of that part of me while I choose to try to choose
to believe these wildly good and beautiful things that you're telling me you want me to have faith
in you in, because right now I can't handle both. So will you take this one for me?
Will you be responsible for me being good and righteous and doing the right thing and,
you know, in pleasing you, would you be responsible for me, pleasing you
while I focus on this? Cause I don't have the energy or the understanding to,
to, uh, balance both at the same time. Um, so whenever, when I found myself in situations,
you know, like you are, whether it be, you know, and it was like multiple times that I found myself
in that kind of situation, I had to be very extreme. If I found that I wasn't doing something
that God wanted me to do, I had to figure out what is holding me back. And I have to abandon it
in order to finally obey God. And it felt risky, but here's what you do is just what kind of,
what I explained, give it over to the Lord, tell him, Lord, I'm not abandoning it because I don't
want to obey you, but I can't figure out how to choose this while carrying all of this.
So will you do this for me? Will you be responsible for me being good while I just
learn to actually obey you and please you by having faith in the things that you have been
inviting me into, because I can't do it while I'm weighted by this.
Yeah.
That's so good. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Very helpful. Okay. Thank you. I know it sounds
risky. You feel like you're risking a relationship with the Lord and he's going to be mad at you.
He needs to strike you down with lightning because you're abandoning the very thing you told to do,
which is obey him and be righteous and do all these rules. But if there's an aspect in which
he's inviting us into, and we aren't obeying, then it means that we're not obeying him in
something. Right. So pick which one you're quote unquote, not going to obey him in.
In other words, which you're not going to not obey him. It's just that which one you're going
to focus on. It's going to feel like you're picking one over the other. And you don't
want to abandon this one because you think you'll be mad. But according to that, that,
that idea in your mind, you know, he's going to be mad. Well, you're already doing this.
You're already not doing this. So is he mad at you right now? So you might as well try this other,
and then you'll find that he's not mad at you, but you have to put yourself into his mercy
to actually discover experientially that he's not being mad with you as opposed to,
oh, but if I go there, what if he gets mad, put yourself there and let him prove it.
Let him prove that he is who he says that he is, that he is that good, that he is that merciful,
that he is that loving because you cast yourself completely in it for him to show you as opposed
to anticipating and wondering, oh my word, should I put yourself there and see what he's like,
see what he's like by experiencing him instead of trying to learn about him,
to determine whether or not.
You want to take the risk, just jump in and learn it experientially.
So, yeah.
Yeah, I actually told my husband that today.
I was like, I just, I want this to be an experience and not just the head.
Yeah.
Like, I don't know that I really had those times in my life where I can
say like, I've experienced like who God really is, you know?
And so it's like, I just told him, it's like, just, I want that.
I want that, you know, not just to experience it, you know what I mean?
But like to, to know him like that, because it's always been knowledge
based for me, you know, and, and behavior based, so yeah.
Yeah.
Well, it was for me too, even though I did have some experience with him and I did
know his voice, but, and I say this as an encouragement with knowing his,
knowing his voice and hearing it and experiencing him, I still was overpowered
by the, by the whole knowledge and by the oppression that I didn't, I didn't.
That I didn't allow to overpower this.
I was that it was just, I was just still in that much bondage.
So, um, so anyway, it's, um, everything beautiful and wonderful is coming, you
know, for you to experience, because the thing is that you already have it.
So you have permission to act like it, to fall into it, to be it, to experience
it, because you're already there.
I know that it doesn't feel like it.
And it's like, well, I need to experience it in order to prove
to myself that I'm already there.
But there's an aspect in which we actually have to choose that we, uh,
that that is reality that we just, without ever being, having been in
contact with it before we have to, I mean, meaning like we feel that we
haven't been in contact with it before.
And we don't have that to go on and to give us any kind of like.
Evidence or any kind of like booster or whatever.
So that anyway, yeah.
Yeah.
Tommy Miller has said something about like, we're positionally
like we're there positionally.
Some of us haven't like had it exponentially, like experientially
like our position never, our position never changes, but our experience
may not equal our position yet.
Exactly.
Because we have to, we have to receive that.
We have to receive the gift.
We have to receive what it is, where it is that we already are and what it is
that God says that he's already given us.
Yeah.
And that's what that's holding us back.
And it's not to our condemnation.
It's that simply all we have to do, especially those of you, you know, you
watch like season, uh, session five already, you know, all you have to do is
let go because you're already there.
That's already who you are.
So as soon as you let go, you find yourself there and you realize, oh my
word, I was the one who was holding onto it again, not to our condemnation.
Like, oh my goodness, there's still something I have to do.
I'm standing in the way I have to believe I have to exert more effort.
No, it's simply stopping what we're doing because it's by having grabbed a
and done all of these things that it's creating resistance and, um, and, uh,
like hindrance.
So if we simply let go of everything we've been doing, we, we were all, we
discover that we're already there because that's our default state.
We've just never experienced our default state before because we've
always grabbed a hold of stuff.
So we're D the problem is this is the worst that it's ever going to be.
It's downhill from here because you're holding onto everything and weighing life
down.
So every, so from here on out, from here on out, following the Lord, just
letting everything go actually moves you into greater measures of love and freedom.
So, like I said, everything's, everything's downhill from here because
this is the heaviest that you will be God in God, you always get lighter.
So it's always the letting go of everything that shifts you into more love
and freedom and everything always gets lighter with him.
So he doesn't require you to exert more effort, more energy to do more because
you need to believe him and you need to have faith.
And don't you know that you're the one resisting and it's not that the
resistance is simply all the work you're doing.
So if you stop the work, then, then you're in the place of rest and
you've stopped the resistance.
So the root, so to shift into rest, isn't doing something different.
It isn't trading this doing for this doing it's the stopping of the doing
finally.
So anyway, I think that's helpful.
All right.
Well, it is 10, 13 or something.
I don't know what time it is 10, 10 on my, um, on the Eastern seaboard.
So I'll let y'all go, but, um, it's good to see everybody.
And, um, y'all, uh, as y'all have been doing, which is great, just continue to
post.
questions or post things about, you know, your journey and how
it is that you're feeling or if ever you just kind of need to
reach out and like share with people, you know, just feel free
to do those in those posts and loving seeing y'all throughout
the week. And I will talk to you later. I'll let me know if you
need something. Bye.