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All right, well, it's good to see everyone.

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I'll start us out with a question that came through

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that I just haven't answered yet on the,

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I keep wanting to call it the chat,

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but I think it's like the Facebook wall

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or the discussion board or something.

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And Kate had asked me about speaking in tongues

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and she'd heard me one time,

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maybe it was in the, one of the teaching sessions,

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like the Enter His Rest teaching sessions,

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where she said that I happened to mention

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speaking in tongues from your stomach.

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And I thought the first time I heard it,

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that that was very strange

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and I didn't know that that was possible,

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but I heard from this man,

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and again, this is this man's quoted experience

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with the Lord, where he said,

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I think he saw some other people,

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and I don't remember if it was in a vision

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or if it was, is in real life.

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And he was asking the Lord what was going on

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and the Lord, and he said that the Lord told him,

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well, they're speaking in tongues from their belly.

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They're speaking in tongues from their stomach.

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He's like, that's possible?

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He's like, yeah.

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And then, so then he learned how to do it.

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I thought, well, that's really fascinating.

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So the way that I started doing it

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is what I'd already been doing,

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and I've never heard anybody say that they do this before,

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but this is what I've always done,

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is I, you can speak,

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I found out that you can speak in tongues,

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obviously, with your mouth open,

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you know, and your lips are moving,

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your tongue is moving,

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and so it's as honest as if,

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it's not that you're out of control,

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but it's as if your body was taken over, so to speak.

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You start speaking this other language

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that you don't know the words to, et cetera,

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unless the Lord gives you the interpretation for it.

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Well, sometimes you want to speak in tongues

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and you want to speak silently, at least I do.

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And I don't want someone else to know

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that I'm speaking in tongues sometimes.

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So I started to move it into my head

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so that instead of speaking,

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like you speak in English in your head

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and you also speak it with your mouth,

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I just, I did the same thing.

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I just reverted it.

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I just like, okay, instead of speaking in tongues

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with my mouth, I'm just going to shift it to my mind.

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And so I started speaking in tongues in my mind.

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And then what I did to move it to my stomach

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was I started speaking in tongues in my mouth,

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then I moved it to my head,

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and then I kind of like could figure out where that was

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and how that felt.

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And kind of like, as if you grab a hold of it,

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you know, you understand what it is you're doing.

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And then with intention, you can make yourself,

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you can move it, you can manipulate it, so to speak.

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And then I moved it down into my stomach.

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And then I began to speak in tongues from my stomach.

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I know it sounds really strange.

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It's not, but I could just,

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it's one of those things where you feel it

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like you feel things in the spirit,

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where you feel a particular way inside

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and you know that that's not a normal soul emotion.

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And that's not a normal physical feeling that you have.

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It's something, it's like when you sense something

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inside of you that's a feeling

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and you know that it is a spiritual feeling,

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not that it's a soul feeling,

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one of your emotions that you're used to feeling.

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And it's not something that's physically happening

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in your body where, I don't know,

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you're feeling one of your organs move around

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or you're, you know, being pushed

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or you're feeling your, I don't know,

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digestive juices like churning or something.

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It's not, you can know that it's not those things

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and it's very other, and that's what I feel.

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So anyway, that's all I know.

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Kind of like feeling it in my gut.

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And no, well, the speaking in tongue,

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well, yeah, yeah, the feeling it's something in your gut.

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Yes, it's like that feeling.

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Only I know that I'm speaking in tongues versus,

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but yeah, it's that feeling of, you know,

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you feel it in your gut and you know

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that that's not your soul

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and you know that that's not a physical feeling either.

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It's this other, yeah, that thing.

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That's how I know to recognize that that's what I'm doing

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because I'm intentionally moved it from my head down there.

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And when I'm feeling something down there

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because I intentionally moved it down there,

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I know that it's the spirit

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and it's something new that I'm doing

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versus attributing it to, oh, I'm just felt that way

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because I don't know, I'm digesting lunch or something.

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It's very, very different.

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So is it happening in your mind at the same time?

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No, no, I just, I don't know, it just moves down.

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So you could take it or leave it.

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I've never heard any teaching on it.

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I just heard this man, this one teacher talk about it.

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And he just said that that's what the Lord told him.

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And then he started doing it.

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And so I thought, well, that's really fascinating.

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Let's see if I can do it.

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And then, so because I'd never also heard

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of anybody talking in tongues in their mind either,

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even though we all do it in English,

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I was like, why couldn't I do it in other tongues?

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So I've literally never heard anybody else

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say that they do that.

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I just started doing it because I was like, why not?

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So when he started talking about the stomach thing,

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I thought, well, I've been doing it in my mind.

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So.

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well, why couldn't I just take what I'm doing in my mind and see if I can move

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it down? And that's what I did.

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So the Lord's never really like come to me and talk to me about it.

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I just tested it and that's what happened.

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So I've just done it a few times just because it's, I just found it's interesting.

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Also, um, I was talking to somebody,

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maybe it was Lindsay about this one time, um,

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recently about like feeling things in our gut and whatever.

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And we were talking about the fact that we had heard that people

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say that, that, uh, your soul is attached to your body

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at your stomach. So whether or not that's true, I don't know.

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All I'm saying is that's what I've heard from people who sound like they,

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they believe that they know what they're talking about. So, and these are,

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these are people that are very reputable, uh, uh,

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teachers that, you know, I listened to and I respect, et cetera.

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And they're saying things like that.

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So it's one of those things that you just kind of take for, Oh, well, that's a,

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that's a fascinating possibility. And,

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but then you're accountable to the Lord or what it is that you believe,

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you know, and whatever. But so that's what that was.

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I don't teach on it or anything. I just like,

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it's just something that I've tried based off of something that somebody else

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said that I respect and it worked. I'm like, Oh, that's fascinating.

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Morning.

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All right. Let me just make sure everything is muted.

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Okay. So did someone have, did anyone have a, um,

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another question to start us off with?

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Okay.

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Sounds like that. Generally speaking, you know,

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everyone's doing really well as in like, they've had these amazing. Um,

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and this is what I've talked to Ed about. I said, Adam, so excited, you know,

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people have, people are getting that or crossing that first major

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threshold, which lets them know between them and Lord. Oh my word, Lord,

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that really is who you are. So, which is extremely important. Um,

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and that's always my goal in the rest intensive is to help everyone pass that

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particular threshold. Um, so that they can finally realize, Oh my,

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they step out in an amazing risk, like emotionally with the Lord, like, Oh my word,

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Lord, are you like this, um, in, in a manner of speaking,

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turning away from the way that they used to approach the Lord and turning

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towards what it is that he says that he is. And then final, like in a very,

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in a very, um, I don't know,

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just in wild reckless abandoned faith and everybody's situation circumstance

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looks different and how they do that. But they do it to the point where it,

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and, and it's, and that it's real.

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And that God responds and they find that I am not the only one that God

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shows up for. I am not the only one. In other words,

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it personalizes it for them.

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It's no longer something that they hear from someone else.

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It's something that they actually get to experience and be like, okay,

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my God really does do that. And he does that for me.

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He is like that. And he's like that in my life. So what it is,

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he says in the Bible,

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he sees me and he interacts like that in his character,

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what he declares in the Bible that he is. He interacts like that in my life.

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He's not only good, he's good in my life. He's not only love, but he loves me,

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you know, et cetera.

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And so I was excited to hear that y'all have been experiencing that because

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that's vitally important in order for y'all to own this and take this, um,

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to own this in your own relationship with the Lord and the Lord will just

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continue to grow it and to flush it out.

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But it's very important that people finally begin to claim that,

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that, that choose that faith in the Lord,

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choose make that decision that their God is going to be their God and that he

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is going to be who in their life, who he says that he is.

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And that means that they,

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we have to turn away from the way that we've used to approach him and that we

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used to declare him to be, and now declare him to be something different.

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And then he reveals to us after we declared that that's who he is.

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Then he reveals in our lives through evidence. In other words,

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by some kind of a spiritual experience that we have with them,

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sometimes by a physical experience that we have with them.

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However it is that he chooses that he reveals himself after you stepped out in

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faith. And then he shows, shows you, yes, child, that is who I am. You know,

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I appreciate you believing me. I appreciate you receiving me. And yes,

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I am going because that's what you choose me to be.

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That is who I will be in your life. So I was very excited about that.

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Was that a Sicily asked,

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so you'd mentioned that Ed had a prophetic word for us.

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Was that what he shared last time we were on here? Yes. That's what it was.

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Is that he had just been able.

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to see, um, kind of like where, um, kind of like a, another picture of wherever everybody

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kind of was, what this just kind of looked like, I don't know if you will in the spirit

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or whatever, just another, um, another way to, for us to see where it is that we all

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were.

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And, um, anyway, so, but yeah, yeah, that was it.

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So, and then he and I talked today about, again, about that personal ministry, which

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is his time.

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I will not be on there.

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That will just be between, um, between y'all.

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Um, I wanted to make sure that, uh, he just had that time with y'all, um, and, uh, because

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it's, because it's likely to be more powerful that way.

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So anyway, you just has a special, you just has a special gift.

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Um, I want him to release comparison in the learning exactly it's, um, uh, that's one

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of the things that he is, um, really good at and known for, um, is being able to speak,

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be able to see people and receive people exactly as they are and be able to receive them with,

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um, compassion, you know, et cetera, uh, regardless of how much of a struggle that they're going

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through.

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Cause he, he, he usually is dealing with people when they're, um, uh, the people that come

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to him or are coming to him for coming to him for ministry for a reason.

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So he's known for having a lot of compassion for people who are just in whatever stage

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that they are fully accepting them as they are, and then allowing them the safe place

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in order to heal.

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So anyway, yeah.

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So, um, does anyone have anything or is everyone all good?

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Yeah, go ahead, Kate.

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Um, I was thinking the other day about what it looks like to step out in faith and we

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talk about, you know, an action.

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A lot of times there's an action item that comes along with our faith to activate our

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faith.

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And there was times that I would, you know, want to get off of all of my supplements because

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I just believed that God wanted to heal me.

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And so in faith, because I did believe that that was my belief system and in faith, I

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would just discontinue them all at the same time.

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And then my body would freak out and things would be out of control.

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And then I would have to go back on them.

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And there were some that I like would slowly taper off, um, over a course of time.

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But I think oftentimes whenever I am trying to step into something new and I'm asking

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the Lord, like, you know, what is an act, how do I, um, demonstrate my faith and what

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does that action item look like?

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Um, I don't know if you could, I know it's not the same every time and it should be spirit

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led.

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For me, first supplements, just as an example of one thing, um, it's happened to me before

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with like fear of man, just like walk up to that person who you feel super intimidated

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by and just talk to them and break off fear of man.

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Or, um, so the supplements I would like get off all of them and then my body would freak

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out and I would have to go back on them.

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And then there's times that I would just like slowly wean off of them.

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And I seem to do pretty well, um, with that, but yeah, I don't know if you could just speak

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a little bit about, um, uh, exercising our faith as we're stepping into this new belief

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system.

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And I know you can relate.

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Sometimes you're like, I'm intense.

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Right.

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So I'm like, I have to do the intense thing to demonstrate my faith.

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Yeah.

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It's super real.

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I'm really serious about this thing.

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I really do believe it.

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And sometimes it backfires and sometimes it doesn't.

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So I don't know if you have any thoughts on that.

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Yes.

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Um, and I'm glad that you're bringing it up.

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answer a question that, um, uh, well, I don't really know that it's a question, but it was

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kind of a, a statement that Cicely made in a comment to, to a post that I made yesterday

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or the day before.

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And so, and then I've been meaning to respond to that.

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So this I'll be able to respond to both at the same time.

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And that is to clarify what it is that we're supposed to have faith in.

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Um, so we don't have, we're not having faith that God is going to manifest his character

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in a specific way.

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We're having faith that his character is that thing, but we don't know how he's going to

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manifest that.

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So that means that, um, that for instance, well, uh, you know, if you're, for instance,

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on supplements, et cetera, or like me, when I was on an antidepressants, um, I asked the

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Lord, you know, Lord, you know, can I get off of these antidepressants?

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And he said, no, it's like bummer because in my, and, and I was very, I was very frustrated

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because I didn't want to be on them because I knew that I was, uh, my body had built a

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dependence on them.

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It was using them, et cetera.

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Again, this is before I even learned about rest, et cetera.

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I didn't want to get, it took even getting to the antidepressants took me a long time

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because I, I did not grow up in a home that believed in.

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Like all of this, like organic stuff and natural healing and essential oils.

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This was long before any of that started being coming more mainstream.

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So I just had something in me that was just kind of like, I don't know, that

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just doesn't feel like you're relying on the Lord, you know, to be on an end, to

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be in a, to, to have an antidepressant and to whatever, and so I didn't even

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think that a Christian could be depressed or at least a zero one who loved the Lord.

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You know, so I, I fought the idea that I was even depressed.

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Finally, I admitted I was depressed, but then it took me, it took me several

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months to finally get to the point where I was okay, going to see, uh, what was it?

302
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Maybe I got on antidepressants first.

303
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Maybe it took me a while to get on antidepressants and finally

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admitted that I couldn't do it.

305
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That, um, that picking myself up by my own bootstraps and pursuing the

306
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Lord harder wasn't helping me.

307
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It wasn't healing me of my depression.

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And so I got an antidepressants.

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And then it took me a long time after I got an antidepressants to

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admit that I needed counseling.

311
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Cause I was like, no, you know, cause me and the Lord can do this.

312
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You know, if, if I, if it's not just me and the Lord, I'm not having faith

313
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and I'm not relying on the Lord.

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So this is what all I was telling myself, et cetera.

315
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So then once I got on antidepressants, I didn't like the fact that I was on them.

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It made me, and I'm just confessing to y'all.

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I felt weak.

318
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I felt like a weak Christian.

319
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I felt like a weak person.

320
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Um, I don't know, et cetera.

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It was all of these lies that I had built up of, uh, of the meaning around

322
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the system of like medicine or, or science.

323
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And I don't know just what it means to be a Christian.

324
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It, and so I was in violation of my own self-made religion

325
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is really what it was.

326
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And so, um, I was, I was, uh, and what.

327
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Let's us know that we're doing something like that is if we get, how

328
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would you describe that feeling?

329
00:17:00.420 --> 00:17:01.740
It's not desperation.

330
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It's, um, it is desperation, but it's like, um, it's like a, an

331
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anger and indetermination.

332
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Um, it's like a, a very heavy, heavy weighted determination to, to get out

333
00:17:16.740 --> 00:17:22.420
of, and to stop doing what you're doing or to avoid something that seems

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to be inevitable, that you really are trying to avoid doing like getting

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on antidepressants or whatever.

336
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So that kind of a heavy feeling can let, you know, you're actually in

337
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violation of a self-made religion instead of actually following the Lord

338
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because with the Lord, everything feels like love and freedom and life.

339
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And, and it's completely disconnected from an action, so to speak, it's not

340
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the action, so to speak themselves that are like the bad thing, et cetera.

341
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It's just, it's why we're doing them.

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It's the source from which we're approaching them, you know, or are we

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doing it in love, faith and freedom in the Lord or, or, you know, and, and

344
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because God says to do it, or are we doing it in self-preservation, you know, et cetera.

345
00:18:08.060 --> 00:18:12.140
So anyway, that all being said, once I was on the antidepressants, I asked

346
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the Lord, Lord, can I please get off of these antidepressants?

347
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And he said, no, he said, you can't do it.

348
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And so I'm trying to remember how this all worked.

349
00:18:22.420 --> 00:18:29.100
Um, uh, maybe before I asked him, I tried to get off of them and I couldn't, like

350
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I got off of them and I crashed and burned.

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And so I got back on him and then maybe after a while, maybe that's how it worked.

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Then after a while I asked him, okay, God, last time I tried that, that didn't work.

353
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Now I'm asking you, can I get off of them?

354
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And he said, no.

355
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And I was very disappointed.

356
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And then, uh, a while later I asked him again, I said it meaning like, like

357
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a good amount of time it passed.

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And I asked him again, Lord, now can I get off them?

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And he said, yes.

360
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And when I got off of them, I'm telling you, I got off cold Turkey.

361
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Just completely.

362
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And I, I had, I had, uh, the antidepressant level that they gave me

363
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wasn't enough and they'd had to double it.

364
00:19:08.340 --> 00:19:09.780
I was on that much antidepressant.

365
00:19:10.100 --> 00:19:12.020
How many grams milligrams that was?

366
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I don't know.

367
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All I know is that it was significant and, and I got off of it cold Turkey, but

368
00:19:18.580 --> 00:19:21.660
I waited until God said, yes, you now can.

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So I, that, so I wasn't just doing it because I thought, well, surely

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this is how God wants me to live.

371
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So therefore I will do the things that me and my own mind have decided that to do

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this is godly and to not do this as sin.

373
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I'd made that up.

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And so what I had to do is I finally had to realize, okay, Lord, then you, then

375
00:19:45.500 --> 00:19:48.100
I'm asking you, what is it that you want me to do, which tools do you

376
00:19:48.100 --> 00:19:50.180
want me to take advantage of, et cetera?

377
00:19:50.180 --> 00:19:53.980
I still didn't like being on the antidepressant understand, but I had to

378
00:19:53.980 --> 00:19:57.500
realize, okay, maybe there's just something about following the Lord that

379
00:19:57.500 --> 00:19:59.900
I just don't grasp because when I'm.

380
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:03.440
Asking God, can I do the godly thing and get off of it?

381
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He says, no.

382
00:20:05.240 --> 00:20:05.640
Okay.

383
00:20:05.640 --> 00:20:10.720
And then when I tried it before I failed, but then when I finally asked him later

384
00:20:11.000 --> 00:20:15.880
and he said, I could, I went off at cold Turkey and my body handled it just fine.

385
00:20:15.880 --> 00:20:18.640
I mean, no withdrawal symptoms, nothing.

386
00:20:19.040 --> 00:20:21.360
It's because he said, yeah, now you can finally do that.

387
00:20:21.360 --> 00:20:25.240
So my, um, and what I, that was years and years and years and years ago.

388
00:20:25.320 --> 00:20:27.480
So I didn't understand why it worked that way.

389
00:20:27.480 --> 00:20:30.000
Other than you ask the Lord and he says, no.

390
00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:30.680
And you obey him.

391
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You ask the Lord again.

392
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And he says, yes.

393
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And you obey him.

394
00:20:33.840 --> 00:20:36.920
But what do you do if God doesn't say something?

395
00:20:37.760 --> 00:20:39.800
So that's what I didn't understand.

396
00:20:39.800 --> 00:20:41.760
And that's what I wasn't had didn't learn yet.

397
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And so not until many years later when the Lord started teaching me about rest.

398
00:20:45.120 --> 00:20:50.160
And then after I'd been in, been living like that in rest and in faith for a while,

399
00:20:50.480 --> 00:20:55.040
he then began to teach me more and more about what faith means and how to,

400
00:20:55.640 --> 00:20:58.720
especially how to operate in faith.

401
00:20:58.720 --> 00:21:02.680
When you're not hearing a directive from God, do this, don't do this.

402
00:21:02.800 --> 00:21:06.240
Well, what about when there's silence or that's what it feels like anyway,

403
00:21:06.760 --> 00:21:07.800
whether or not there is silence.

404
00:21:07.800 --> 00:21:08.280
I don't know.

405
00:21:08.720 --> 00:21:09.960
Cause God's talking to us all the time.

406
00:21:09.960 --> 00:21:13.760
All I know is that I'm asking for a definitive direction and I

407
00:21:13.760 --> 00:21:14.880
don't feel that I have that.

408
00:21:14.880 --> 00:21:15.880
So what do I do then?

409
00:21:15.880 --> 00:21:17.960
And I was asked, or what do I do?

410
00:21:18.240 --> 00:21:20.640
And this is how God really began to teach me about faith.

411
00:21:20.880 --> 00:21:23.480
What do you do when there's unfulfilled promises?

412
00:21:23.800 --> 00:21:26.960
When God says something and you can't see it happen.

413
00:21:27.680 --> 00:21:29.280
So what are you supposed to have faith in?

414
00:21:29.680 --> 00:21:34.320
You know, if anyway, so, um, what God began to show me.

415
00:21:34.320 --> 00:21:38.240
So say all that is background to help you to give you an idea of,

416
00:21:38.680 --> 00:21:40.560
I'm not just speaking theory here.

417
00:21:40.560 --> 00:21:44.320
This is something I've actually had to live and I've had to go through all

418
00:21:44.320 --> 00:21:48.600
of the traumatic emotions of all of the ups and downs, and sometimes

419
00:21:48.600 --> 00:21:50.240
it's working and sometimes it's not.

420
00:21:50.240 --> 00:21:51.160
And what am I doing?

421
00:21:51.560 --> 00:21:52.600
Sometimes gets it right.

422
00:21:52.600 --> 00:21:53.480
And sometimes doesn't.

423
00:21:54.040 --> 00:21:58.200
So I, um, and, uh, anyway, so I asked.

424
00:21:58.680 --> 00:22:01.400
So when the Lord was teaching me about faith, one of the things

425
00:22:01.400 --> 00:22:04.640
that he was teaching me about, he taught me very, very intensely

426
00:22:04.640 --> 00:22:06.360
about it last year, very intensely.

427
00:22:07.000 --> 00:22:13.880
And he was showing me, Ashley, I want you, um, I want you to give up your

428
00:22:13.880 --> 00:22:19.600
attachment, basically you're holding me accountable for the manifestation

429
00:22:19.600 --> 00:22:22.360
of my character and just choose me.

430
00:22:23.280 --> 00:22:27.600
And my character and then leave how it is that I reveal that

431
00:22:27.600 --> 00:22:30.560
character into your life on my own.

432
00:22:30.880 --> 00:22:34.080
So, you know, can you be on the medication?

433
00:22:34.080 --> 00:22:35.520
Can you be off the medication?

434
00:22:35.560 --> 00:22:40.520
Can you, you know, whatever, um, that, that is between you and the Lord.

435
00:22:40.920 --> 00:22:44.320
Um, but what it is that he wants us to have faith in is that

436
00:22:44.320 --> 00:22:45.720
he is the particular thing.

437
00:22:45.840 --> 00:22:48.560
So my point is, if you're asking a little, should I get off the

438
00:22:48.560 --> 00:22:51.680
supplements or whatever, how do I act on my faith?

439
00:22:52.000 --> 00:22:57.160
It all starts in what is your faith in your faith is in God, not

440
00:22:57.160 --> 00:22:59.000
in doing or not doing something.

441
00:22:59.200 --> 00:23:03.760
So it's not the, the, uh, so when you're acting on your faith, okay.

442
00:23:03.760 --> 00:23:07.360
If God is good, what, how would I live?

443
00:23:07.880 --> 00:23:11.040
What would I do not if God is good.

444
00:23:11.240 --> 00:23:15.240
Therefore, that means that I don't have to be on medication or supplements.

445
00:23:15.240 --> 00:23:17.320
I'm not saying I'm not comparing supplements to medication.

446
00:23:17.320 --> 00:23:19.280
I'm saying medication because I was on medication.

447
00:23:19.680 --> 00:23:23.680
I keep comparing it, I suppose, to my situation, but well, then if he's good,

448
00:23:23.680 --> 00:23:24.960
then I wouldn't be on medication.

449
00:23:25.000 --> 00:23:25.360
No.

450
00:23:26.240 --> 00:23:27.520
Has nothing whatsoever.

451
00:23:27.560 --> 00:23:33.960
There's no connection whatsoever because the medication supplements, food, sleep,

452
00:23:34.280 --> 00:23:36.720
money, those are simply tools.

453
00:23:37.560 --> 00:23:39.080
Those are not manifest.

454
00:23:39.120 --> 00:23:43.360
Those aren't definitive manifestations of his character.

455
00:23:43.880 --> 00:23:44.960
God is good.

456
00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:48.240
Even when he doesn't make things, even when things aren't comfortable in our

457
00:23:48.240 --> 00:23:52.400
lives, God was good the whole time that Jesus was being tortured, murdered,

458
00:23:52.560 --> 00:23:54.560
you know, and dead, you know?

459
00:23:54.760 --> 00:24:02.800
So how things look and manifest in life is not, um, uh, you know, whether

460
00:24:02.800 --> 00:24:06.360
it's a comfortable or not is not indicative of whether or not God's good.

461
00:24:06.360 --> 00:24:07.600
God's good regardless.

462
00:24:07.960 --> 00:24:12.760
And so what God's always trying to teach us is how to disconnect our faith in

463
00:24:12.760 --> 00:24:15.520
who he is from how it manifests.

464
00:24:15.520 --> 00:24:19.120
So then, so the way that I began to do it is think like, okay.

465
00:24:19.880 --> 00:24:23.600
Um, regard, I give up what it, how it is that I want to live.

466
00:24:23.800 --> 00:24:25.000
I want to live on supplements.

467
00:24:25.000 --> 00:24:26.240
I don't want to live on supplements.

468
00:24:26.320 --> 00:24:30.640
So I'm just making a guess and I'm just going to, for the sake of this, uh, well,

469
00:24:30.680 --> 00:24:32.120
I'll just use my own example and not yours.

470
00:24:32.720 --> 00:24:34.120
I didn't want to be on antidepressants.

471
00:24:34.120 --> 00:24:37.240
So I couldn't say, well, the way that I want to live Lord is I don't

472
00:24:37.240 --> 00:24:38.520
want to be on antidepressants.

473
00:24:38.960 --> 00:24:43.280
And if you're good and if you love me, and if I'm healed, then surely you

474
00:24:43.280 --> 00:24:44.840
don't want me to be on antidepressants.

475
00:24:44.840 --> 00:24:46.320
Well, that's an assumption that I'm making.

476
00:24:46.800 --> 00:24:52.680
It's how God's character, how I live here on earth does not nest is, is not.

477
00:24:52.800 --> 00:24:55.360
Um, how do I put that?

478
00:24:55.400 --> 00:24:57.240
It's not what I'm supposed to have faith in.

479
00:24:58.240 --> 00:24:59.960
I'm supposed to have faith that God is who.

480
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:00.560
Says that he is.

481
00:25:00.560 --> 00:25:06.080
So if he is that I completely give up him, me not having to be on antidepressants.

482
00:25:06.480 --> 00:25:06.720
Okay.

483
00:25:06.720 --> 00:25:10.000
God, if I'm on antidepressants, I'm on antidepressants, but God, you're good.

484
00:25:10.600 --> 00:25:12.720
You haven't abandoned me because I'm like this.

485
00:25:13.280 --> 00:25:14.640
You still love me.

486
00:25:15.100 --> 00:25:19.040
You know, I, I'm not, um, what, I don't know.

487
00:25:19.040 --> 00:25:22.960
I'm trying to think of like, you're, you're still, you are protector.

488
00:25:23.120 --> 00:25:24.320
You're protecting me.

489
00:25:24.560 --> 00:25:26.320
I'm not, I'm not abandoned.

490
00:25:26.480 --> 00:25:27.520
I'm not weak.

491
00:25:27.800 --> 00:25:31.640
I'm not in lack because those are all of the things that we can be tempted to

492
00:25:31.640 --> 00:25:34.800
believe that we are, if we're on supplements or if we're, if we're dependent

493
00:25:34.800 --> 00:25:37.840
on supplements, if we're dependent on medication, we're dependent on things.

494
00:25:37.840 --> 00:25:40.000
We're like, well, that means they're for that.

495
00:25:40.760 --> 00:25:43.680
And we're coming out of agreement with things that God said, we have

496
00:25:43.680 --> 00:25:44.960
to completely disconnect them.

497
00:25:45.520 --> 00:25:46.040
Choose that.

498
00:25:46.040 --> 00:25:49.520
They're not saying anything different about God than what he said.

499
00:25:49.840 --> 00:25:51.680
And that's what we have faith in then.

500
00:25:51.720 --> 00:25:52.060
Okay.

501
00:25:52.060 --> 00:25:55.440
If I believe that God is good, well, how would I live?

502
00:25:56.400 --> 00:25:57.760
What would I do, et cetera.

503
00:25:57.760 --> 00:26:00.320
So what you do is you kind of like, if you're trying to make a decision, you

504
00:26:00.320 --> 00:26:02.280
think, okay, well, I believe that God is good.

505
00:26:02.280 --> 00:26:04.200
I choose Lord that you're a protector.

506
00:26:04.200 --> 00:26:05.840
I choose Lord that you're a provider.

507
00:26:06.240 --> 00:26:09.720
So if that is true, how then will I live?

508
00:26:10.360 --> 00:26:15.160
And you find in that place, you're still asking God, God, what is your will?

509
00:26:15.160 --> 00:26:17.200
Should I be on medication or should I not?

510
00:26:17.480 --> 00:26:19.320
You're not making this decision on your own.

511
00:26:19.320 --> 00:26:20.680
Like, well, I don't, I don't want to be.

512
00:26:21.120 --> 00:26:23.080
So if God's good, then I can make my own decisions.

513
00:26:23.520 --> 00:26:27.320
No, you and God are still living life together, but you finally

514
00:26:27.320 --> 00:26:29.800
chosen that he and who he is.

515
00:26:30.400 --> 00:26:34.200
And what he says is more important than what he, than the decision that's made.

516
00:26:34.680 --> 00:26:38.840
And so in that freedom, now you ask his, now you ask his heart.

517
00:26:38.840 --> 00:26:39.840
Now you ask as well.

518
00:26:39.840 --> 00:26:43.840
Okay, God, now that I'm okay with whatever answer you give,

519
00:26:44.200 --> 00:26:45.280
how then are we going to live?

520
00:26:45.680 --> 00:26:49.720
And if he doesn't tell me to get off of something, if I don't feel freedom to

521
00:26:49.720 --> 00:26:55.400
do it, if I do not feel in my spirit, that there's support from him to do that,

522
00:26:55.560 --> 00:26:57.240
well, then I don't do it because.

523
00:26:57.800 --> 00:27:01.440
I mean, and that's just, that's just me, but then there's other areas in which

524
00:27:01.440 --> 00:27:04.680
you'll figure out when you're trying to make a decision that you do feel freedom

525
00:27:04.680 --> 00:27:07.320
in, you do feel an opening in your spirit.

526
00:27:07.400 --> 00:27:11.520
And then, and then you move towards that meaning like open, like you feel

527
00:27:11.520 --> 00:27:13.200
like God is giving you a yes.

528
00:27:13.360 --> 00:27:14.400
God is giving you an open.

529
00:27:14.400 --> 00:27:18.640
He didn't say yes, but cause you listened for yes or no.

530
00:27:18.640 --> 00:27:19.600
And you didn't hear one.

531
00:27:19.960 --> 00:27:22.640
So you just kind of have to go where you're feeling a freedom where you're

532
00:27:22.640 --> 00:27:24.640
feeling an opening, you know, et cetera.

533
00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:29.320
And what it is that we always want to choose is whatever we believe to be a

534
00:27:29.320 --> 00:27:34.120
rough, uh, where, what we believe to be reflecting God's character, who it is

535
00:27:34.120 --> 00:27:39.880
that we know him to be as a being in our relationship with him, where do we see

536
00:27:39.880 --> 00:27:45.720
him in the, in the, the, uh, to, in the decisions that are, we're holding before

537
00:27:45.720 --> 00:27:52.040
us as options, what, where do we sense his character, not what have we believed

538
00:27:52.040 --> 00:27:53.960
him to be in the past of, well, these are good.

539
00:27:53.960 --> 00:27:55.240
This is a godly way to live.

540
00:27:55.240 --> 00:27:56.440
And this is ungodly.

541
00:27:56.520 --> 00:27:58.200
And we can't think like that anymore.

542
00:27:58.760 --> 00:28:02.800
So, cause that then we're going to be swayed based on our own self-made religion.

543
00:28:03.480 --> 00:28:07.360
So what we have to do is we had to figure out where, based on who it is that I'm

544
00:28:07.360 --> 00:28:12.240
discovering God is based on my, on my relationship with a being, not on what I

545
00:28:12.240 --> 00:28:16.320
read in scripture and how I'm trying to interpret it because so often we've done

546
00:28:16.320 --> 00:28:21.160
that trying to isolate ourselves from, from the being and trying to figure out

547
00:28:21.160 --> 00:28:25.080
the rules, trying to figure out the formula, trying to figure out a way to

548
00:28:25.080 --> 00:28:27.600
predict how he's going to show up.

549
00:28:27.840 --> 00:28:29.600
If I do this, he'll do this.

550
00:28:29.600 --> 00:28:31.280
If I don't do this, he won't do this.

551
00:28:31.720 --> 00:28:34.320
So I'm not saying we shouldn't rely on scripture.

552
00:28:34.320 --> 00:28:39.800
I'm saying that if we can't isolate ourselves from the relationship and who

553
00:28:39.800 --> 00:28:45.080
our spirit has come to know, who he is as a being and try to figure it out from

554
00:28:45.080 --> 00:28:47.720
scripture, because that's where we're.

555
00:28:48.760 --> 00:28:54.960
Uh, that's how we got ourselves in the, the, uh, problem that we're in, in the

556
00:28:54.960 --> 00:28:59.440
first place where we're looking at decisions and we just, we made a judgment

557
00:28:59.440 --> 00:29:06.240
call that this type of thing is godly and this one isn't, and we can't do that anymore.

558
00:29:06.240 --> 00:29:10.360
We have to choose who is God, who, who, who, who are he and I together?

559
00:29:10.840 --> 00:29:15.520
You know, who is this being okay now based off of who he's been revealing to me and

560
00:29:15.520 --> 00:29:17.960
how my spirit feels as he moves in me.

561
00:29:18.320 --> 00:29:23.680
And now that I choose that to believe that I abide in him and I'm feeling him more

562
00:29:23.680 --> 00:29:25.120
and more because I'm in him.

563
00:29:25.120 --> 00:29:28.160
So I'm always feeling him move from that place.

564
00:29:28.400 --> 00:29:32.560
Where do I sense that his character is in these two decisions?

565
00:29:33.240 --> 00:29:39.200
Not in one is godly and one is ungodly, but rather where am I seeing him in my

566
00:29:39.200 --> 00:29:43.080
life, reveal himself to be, and then start moving in that direction.

567
00:29:43.080 --> 00:29:44.760
And then what I do is I always tell the Lord.

568
00:29:45.520 --> 00:29:47.520
God, you haven't told me specifically what to do.

569
00:29:47.520 --> 00:29:52.200
You haven't given me a yes or no, but Lord, I'm going to choose this one because

570
00:29:52.560 --> 00:29:57.400
based off of what you've revealed to me, the time that we've spent together, how

571
00:29:57.400 --> 00:29:59.920
my spirit feels in your presence and.

572
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:02.600
how me choosing that I am who you say that I am.

573
00:30:02.600 --> 00:30:04.680
And I'm in that place right now,

574
00:30:04.680 --> 00:30:06.520
because I've shifted into the place of rest,

575
00:30:06.520 --> 00:30:08.480
which is the only place from which you can make a clear,

576
00:30:08.480 --> 00:30:10.400
righteous decision.

577
00:30:10.400 --> 00:30:12.320
You know, from that place, Lord,

578
00:30:12.320 --> 00:30:16.560
this is where I sense your character is over here.

579
00:30:16.560 --> 00:30:18.880
So God, I'm gonna move towards that.

580
00:30:18.880 --> 00:30:20.520
And as I move towards that,

581
00:30:20.520 --> 00:30:23.040
would you continue to reveal to me

582
00:30:23.040 --> 00:30:25.520
whether this is the right direction?

583
00:30:25.520 --> 00:30:28.400
You know, and so you just move a little closer towards it,

584
00:30:28.400 --> 00:30:29.960
you know, and if you still feel freedom,

585
00:30:29.960 --> 00:30:32.320
well, then you move a little closer towards it.

586
00:30:32.320 --> 00:30:34.080
And then if you still feel freedom,

587
00:30:34.080 --> 00:30:36.360
then you move a little bit closer towards it,

588
00:30:36.360 --> 00:30:38.120
because you're not making decisions

589
00:30:38.120 --> 00:30:39.560
from the outside of God,

590
00:30:39.560 --> 00:30:42.400
trying to check on him periodically as you're doing it,

591
00:30:42.400 --> 00:30:44.520
like, okay, are you still okay with this?

592
00:30:44.520 --> 00:30:46.160
Are you still pleased with me?

593
00:30:46.160 --> 00:30:48.280
You have to do it from inside God now.

594
00:30:48.280 --> 00:30:50.240
You and God living life together,

595
00:30:50.240 --> 00:30:52.320
that's where you know whether or not

596
00:30:52.320 --> 00:30:53.880
you're still in the will of God.

597
00:30:53.880 --> 00:30:56.880
And if you're still moving in a direction of freedom

598
00:30:56.880 --> 00:30:59.600
towards where you believe his character is.

599
00:31:00.120 --> 00:31:02.040
The point in talking about where his character is,

600
00:31:02.040 --> 00:31:04.280
is he will, if you're making decisions

601
00:31:04.280 --> 00:31:07.400
based on that reasoning,

602
00:31:07.400 --> 00:31:09.720
not on self-protection and self-preservation,

603
00:31:09.720 --> 00:31:13.040
but on the reasoning of where is his character in God,

604
00:31:13.040 --> 00:31:14.440
that is why I'm choosing it,

605
00:31:14.440 --> 00:31:16.360
because I'm choosing you, not self-preservation,

606
00:31:16.360 --> 00:31:18.760
not what I want, not what I think you want from me,

607
00:31:18.760 --> 00:31:20.920
but who I think you are.

608
00:31:20.920 --> 00:31:23.160
If you're moving towards that,

609
00:31:23.160 --> 00:31:24.120
what I tell God is like,

610
00:31:24.120 --> 00:31:26.960
God, that is why I'm making, I'm choosing that.

611
00:31:26.960 --> 00:31:29.200
And so if I'm wrong, Lord,

612
00:31:29.760 --> 00:31:31.760
if that's not actually your character,

613
00:31:31.760 --> 00:31:35.240
will you protect me in making this choice

614
00:31:35.240 --> 00:31:38.560
for the reason that it's your character?

615
00:31:38.560 --> 00:31:40.760
Will you protect me in making this choice

616
00:31:40.760 --> 00:31:42.040
if there are consequences,

617
00:31:42.040 --> 00:31:44.080
because that's actually not who you are,

618
00:31:44.080 --> 00:31:46.320
will you then show me who it is that you are?

619
00:31:46.320 --> 00:31:48.760
I'm more interested when I'm making decisions,

620
00:31:48.760 --> 00:31:49.960
and this is what I always tell the Lord,

621
00:31:49.960 --> 00:31:51.680
I'm more interested, Lord,

622
00:31:51.680 --> 00:31:54.560
in you revealing to me that that's not your character

623
00:31:54.560 --> 00:31:56.640
than me avoiding the consequences.

624
00:31:57.520 --> 00:31:59.320
Because me going into this thing

625
00:31:59.320 --> 00:32:02.080
is me risking the potential consequences,

626
00:32:02.080 --> 00:32:05.560
but I'm choosing God over avoiding the consequences.

627
00:32:06.440 --> 00:32:07.840
But because he hasn't told me

628
00:32:07.840 --> 00:32:09.640
which one to make the decision in,

629
00:32:10.920 --> 00:32:11.760
then I'm gonna be like,

630
00:32:11.760 --> 00:32:13.760
okay, where am I gonna put my risk?

631
00:32:13.760 --> 00:32:16.600
I'm gonna put my risk that this is who God is,

632
00:32:16.600 --> 00:32:19.840
even though when I get there,

633
00:32:19.840 --> 00:32:21.040
it might, God might reveal

634
00:32:21.040 --> 00:32:22.480
that that's actually not who he is,

635
00:32:22.480 --> 00:32:24.880
but you know, he'll be thrilled, and he is,

636
00:32:24.880 --> 00:32:26.280
he's absolutely so thrilled

637
00:32:26.280 --> 00:32:29.000
whenever I pursue something thinking that it's him.

638
00:32:29.000 --> 00:32:30.320
And he's like a parent

639
00:32:30.320 --> 00:32:32.400
trying to create a protective environment

640
00:32:32.400 --> 00:32:34.080
for me to make mistakes.

641
00:32:34.080 --> 00:32:36.320
But if instead, it's very different,

642
00:32:36.320 --> 00:32:39.280
we start reaping some of the same,

643
00:32:39.280 --> 00:32:41.200
similar consequences to Adam and Eve

644
00:32:42.480 --> 00:32:44.000
during the fall,

645
00:32:44.000 --> 00:32:48.320
if we choose decisions based on our own self-preservation,

646
00:32:48.320 --> 00:32:50.240
believing that we're separated from God,

647
00:32:50.240 --> 00:32:52.640
that God hasn't given us an answer of yes or no,

648
00:32:52.640 --> 00:32:55.600
so therefore, he's abandoned us,

649
00:32:55.600 --> 00:32:58.400
you know, he hasn't told us how to protect ourselves,

650
00:32:58.400 --> 00:33:00.400
so we're gonna have to do it.

651
00:33:00.400 --> 00:33:02.080
And we make our decision like this,

652
00:33:02.080 --> 00:33:03.960
because well, God, you didn't tell me what to do,

653
00:33:03.960 --> 00:33:06.880
so I have to rely on my own knowledge and wisdom,

654
00:33:06.880 --> 00:33:08.320
and I'm gonna make this choice.

655
00:33:08.320 --> 00:33:11.080
That's making that choice out of self-preservation.

656
00:33:11.080 --> 00:33:14.800
That's moving ourself out from underneath his protection.

657
00:33:14.800 --> 00:33:16.480
I'm not saying that God won't protect you,

658
00:33:16.480 --> 00:33:17.920
you're still his child,

659
00:33:17.920 --> 00:33:20.960
but you do intentionally move yourself out

660
00:33:20.960 --> 00:33:23.360
from under his authority and his protection

661
00:33:23.360 --> 00:33:25.520
in the same way that Adam and Eve did.

662
00:33:25.520 --> 00:33:27.600
You saw what he did after that.

663
00:33:27.600 --> 00:33:29.920
He said, well, now you have to bear these consequences

664
00:33:29.920 --> 00:33:31.320
of your choice that you decided

665
00:33:31.320 --> 00:33:32.640
you didn't wanna rely on me,

666
00:33:32.640 --> 00:33:34.400
you wanted to rely on yourself.

667
00:33:34.400 --> 00:33:37.760
But even then, he still provided for them.

668
00:33:37.760 --> 00:33:40.280
He still sacrificed a lamb and covered them,

669
00:33:40.280 --> 00:33:41.320
you know, with clothes.

670
00:33:41.320 --> 00:33:44.800
He still made provision for them.

671
00:33:44.800 --> 00:33:46.360
He sent Jesus later on,

672
00:33:46.360 --> 00:33:48.680
and then he still talked to them and whatever.

673
00:33:49.560 --> 00:33:54.000
But they bore the consequences of pursuing something

674
00:33:54.000 --> 00:33:55.640
that was in self-preservation.

675
00:33:55.640 --> 00:33:57.320
But if you choose something,

676
00:33:57.320 --> 00:34:00.440
thinking that that is God's character

677
00:34:00.440 --> 00:34:02.080
and that's why you're doing it,

678
00:34:02.080 --> 00:34:04.040
not because it's out of self-preservation,

679
00:34:04.040 --> 00:34:09.040
then God will, in a manner of speaking, bubble wrap you.

680
00:34:09.080 --> 00:34:12.760
He'll take on the responsibility of your protection

681
00:34:12.760 --> 00:34:14.600
because that is what you believe

682
00:34:14.600 --> 00:34:16.440
that you're submitting yourself to.

683
00:34:17.280 --> 00:34:19.920
So you will still have to bear some consequences,

684
00:34:19.920 --> 00:34:23.400
but they're not as severe as what it would be

685
00:34:23.400 --> 00:34:26.239
if you're choosing it because out of self-preservation.

686
00:34:26.239 --> 00:34:28.520
Does that, I mean, I've really tried to

687
00:34:28.520 --> 00:34:30.520
really flesh this out and expand on it

688
00:34:30.520 --> 00:34:32.280
because it really is like this whole teaching

689
00:34:32.280 --> 00:34:34.440
in and of itself, but does that make sense?

690
00:34:36.000 --> 00:34:37.840
Yeah, that's super helpful.

691
00:34:37.840 --> 00:34:39.920
As you were speaking, I was like,

692
00:34:39.920 --> 00:34:42.320
I know I had a lot of religious strings

693
00:34:42.320 --> 00:34:45.239
attached to these acts of faith that I was doing.

694
00:34:45.679 --> 00:34:48.239
If I don't do this thing

695
00:34:48.239 --> 00:34:50.600
and discontinue all my supplements,

696
00:34:50.600 --> 00:34:52.600
I don't have access to my healing

697
00:34:52.600 --> 00:34:55.719
because I'm not demonstrating that I truly believe this.

698
00:34:55.719 --> 00:34:58.760
Or if I don't go and approach that person

699
00:34:58.760 --> 00:35:00.320
that I'm super intimidated by.

700
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.520
I, you're never going to break off the fear of man in my life.

701
00:35:02.520 --> 00:35:05.160
Like I have to do this thing in order to get the result that.

702
00:35:07.120 --> 00:35:07.920
Yeah, correct.

703
00:35:07.920 --> 00:35:13.200
And so you just, you trust instead, you just submit yourself, excuse me,

704
00:35:13.200 --> 00:35:17.520
just submit yourself, you know, into the hands of the Lord and then just

705
00:35:17.560 --> 00:35:19.880
allow him to show you how to live life.

706
00:35:20.480 --> 00:35:25.040
So your, I wish I knew how to, how to explain this, um, like with an

707
00:35:25.040 --> 00:35:28.480
example of like, okay, what action do you take?

708
00:35:28.960 --> 00:35:32.640
Uh, cause it was, again, it's not something that, that anyone's ever told me.

709
00:35:32.640 --> 00:35:35.680
It's just things that I started doing.

710
00:35:36.320 --> 00:35:40.040
And then now I have to figure out how to articulate it to other people about, well,

711
00:35:40.040 --> 00:35:42.360
how do I recognize what to actually do?

712
00:35:42.800 --> 00:35:51.200
But, um, uh, the best, the best way that I can describe it is like I said, I, I

713
00:35:51.200 --> 00:35:57.160
make the dis, uh, if I'm trying to make a decision like, okay, God says he's good.

714
00:35:57.160 --> 00:35:57.760
God says love.

715
00:35:57.760 --> 00:35:58.000
Okay.

716
00:35:58.000 --> 00:35:59.800
So therefore I need to choose that.

717
00:35:59.800 --> 00:36:00.760
He is who he says he is.

718
00:36:00.800 --> 00:36:01.000
Okay.

719
00:36:01.000 --> 00:36:02.320
He's love he's protector.

720
00:36:02.320 --> 00:36:03.080
He's provider.

721
00:36:03.480 --> 00:36:07.600
I choose that that is my identity, that that is, um, that he is who he says that

722
00:36:07.600 --> 00:36:11.920
he is, that I actually abide in him, that I'm not separated from him, that I'm in

723
00:36:11.920 --> 00:36:16.480
his heart, that I'm of his character, that I'm spirit I'm up here.

724
00:36:16.520 --> 00:36:17.800
I'm not here or here.

725
00:36:18.200 --> 00:36:19.760
And then once I shift here.

726
00:36:19.760 --> 00:36:25.000
So in other words, once I abandoned the decision, once I emotionally

727
00:36:25.040 --> 00:36:29.280
detach myself from the decision, that's vitally important.

728
00:36:29.600 --> 00:36:37.400
So in other words, you, you finally emotionally detach yourself and God, big

729
00:36:37.400 --> 00:36:43.760
one, God, um, from whatever, whatever decision that y'all make and what your

730
00:36:43.760 --> 00:36:48.120
lifestyle would look like, what it, what would be required of you, what action is

731
00:36:48.120 --> 00:36:53.120
going to be asked of you as a result, you emotionally detach from that.

732
00:36:53.600 --> 00:36:56.400
In other words, you choose God over that you choose.

733
00:36:56.440 --> 00:36:57.560
That is more valuable.

734
00:36:57.560 --> 00:36:58.720
That is more important.

735
00:36:59.160 --> 00:37:00.640
Not that it is in theory.

736
00:37:00.640 --> 00:37:03.080
No, you make it important to you.

737
00:37:03.320 --> 00:37:06.480
It's an actual intentional movement that you make that God, I choose

738
00:37:06.480 --> 00:37:07.520
that that's more important to you.

739
00:37:07.720 --> 00:37:10.640
Once you shift up there and you've emotionally attached from the actual

740
00:37:10.640 --> 00:37:14.160
decision itself, then things become more clear.

741
00:37:14.160 --> 00:37:18.080
You make, then you're making a decision from the place of abiding inside God,

742
00:37:18.600 --> 00:37:22.120
not from being outside of him or believing that you are.

743
00:37:22.680 --> 00:37:24.960
And then you're trying to figure out what to do.

744
00:37:25.120 --> 00:37:26.640
It's hard to hear God that way.

745
00:37:26.640 --> 00:37:28.040
You don't hear him very clearly.

746
00:37:28.360 --> 00:37:30.360
It's a lot more clear to hear him.

747
00:37:30.360 --> 00:37:34.560
Once you've given everything up, I mean, like literally you've given everything

748
00:37:34.560 --> 00:37:38.120
up, you no longer require God to show up in a particular way in your life

749
00:37:38.120 --> 00:37:42.200
and no longer require of him that he asked you or not ask you to do specific

750
00:37:42.200 --> 00:37:46.320
things, you no longer require anything like that of him and you shift into him.

751
00:37:46.320 --> 00:37:50.400
And now from that place of complete freedom to just suddenly ask God, God,

752
00:37:50.520 --> 00:37:53.640
you just revealed to me who it is that you are and you be that thing.

753
00:37:53.640 --> 00:37:56.600
And you allow me to ride on the coattails of your character.

754
00:37:57.200 --> 00:37:59.560
So we're now that I'm riding on the coattails of your character.

755
00:37:59.560 --> 00:38:00.560
What are, where are we going?

756
00:38:00.960 --> 00:38:01.600
What are we doing?

757
00:38:01.600 --> 00:38:02.480
What does this look like?

758
00:38:02.480 --> 00:38:05.720
And then you start feeling in your, in your spirit towards what feels

759
00:38:05.720 --> 00:38:07.760
like freedom and what doesn't.

760
00:38:08.360 --> 00:38:13.280
I'm trying to think one of the things that I do also in making decisions

761
00:38:13.320 --> 00:38:16.120
is I allow my soul to have it say first.

762
00:38:16.560 --> 00:38:19.640
I think we were talking about this a lot with, um, earlier with, uh,

763
00:38:19.680 --> 00:38:23.880
Lindsay, when Lindsay was asking several times back about like relation,

764
00:38:24.200 --> 00:38:25.200
was it relationships?

765
00:38:26.080 --> 00:38:28.520
Um, maybe, oh, that's what it was asking about.

766
00:38:28.520 --> 00:38:31.120
Like, well, what about like, when it feels like you're going around

767
00:38:31.120 --> 00:38:32.480
the mountain again or whatever.

768
00:38:32.840 --> 00:38:36.120
And so it was in that discussion that we were talking that I was

769
00:38:36.120 --> 00:38:39.560
mentioning the importance of, oh, that's what it was when she said,

770
00:38:39.560 --> 00:38:41.680
well, what about when you think that you've forgiven someone

771
00:38:41.680 --> 00:38:43.280
and stuff keeps coming back up?

772
00:38:43.560 --> 00:38:47.080
So I mentioned this when we talked about that, it's like, I always

773
00:38:47.840 --> 00:38:50.640
that when you're trying to make a decision, you let your soul talk

774
00:38:50.640 --> 00:38:54.680
first uninhibited, and you just tell your spirit to be quiet for a little

775
00:38:54.680 --> 00:38:57.760
bit, because your soul is like a child.

776
00:38:57.800 --> 00:38:58.920
It's going to yap.

777
00:38:59.240 --> 00:39:03.080
It's more immature and it just wants to be heard.

778
00:39:03.360 --> 00:39:05.400
It doesn't feel safe until it's heard.

779
00:39:05.640 --> 00:39:07.280
It just wants attention.

780
00:39:07.560 --> 00:39:10.520
So if you let yourself acknowledge fully.

781
00:39:11.240 --> 00:39:16.760
What it is that you feel like and what it is you want to do and why, I

782
00:39:16.760 --> 00:39:18.120
mean, you're honest with yourself.

783
00:39:18.160 --> 00:39:21.720
I'm honest with myself and tell myself it's because I am so afraid.

784
00:39:22.120 --> 00:39:24.320
I am so afraid of what so-and-so is going to think about me.

785
00:39:24.320 --> 00:39:26.680
I'm so afraid of what it's going to require of me.

786
00:39:26.680 --> 00:39:28.720
I'm so afraid that God's going to ask me to do this.

787
00:39:29.240 --> 00:39:32.320
And I don't want to do that because I don't want it to be true.

788
00:39:32.600 --> 00:39:37.000
And I don't want to believe that for the past 10 years, I don't want

789
00:39:37.000 --> 00:39:40.440
him to tell me to do one thing when for the past 10 years, I believed

790
00:39:40.440 --> 00:39:43.920
it was actually ungodly and oh my goodness, how much pain have I caused

791
00:39:44.560 --> 00:39:46.960
not to mention the fact that I've been wrong all of these years.

792
00:39:47.200 --> 00:39:49.760
If he tells me to do something different, I mean, all kinds of things.

793
00:39:50.080 --> 00:39:55.120
I let my soul talk and my spirit, which is more mature, it is very patient

794
00:39:55.440 --> 00:39:59.880
and it just waits its turn, but I very specifically think of.

795
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.280
I'm like two separate beings and just tell my spirit to be quiet for just a little

796
00:40:04.280 --> 00:40:05.120
bit.

797
00:40:05.120 --> 00:40:08.600
And then we both stand there and let my soul just yap.

798
00:40:09.200 --> 00:40:12.640
Just tell me all the things that it wants and it doesn't want about this

799
00:40:12.640 --> 00:40:15.640
situation. And then, and then we'll, okay, now,

800
00:40:15.640 --> 00:40:18.880
so you think that about that decision? What do you think about this decision?

801
00:40:18.920 --> 00:40:22.480
Oh, I really don't like this one because, you know,

802
00:40:22.480 --> 00:40:26.880
because what if God doesn't show up? What if, so then I find out why my soul

803
00:40:26.880 --> 00:40:30.120
doesn't like this other situation or why it does, you know, whichever.

804
00:40:30.480 --> 00:40:31.520
Then after my,

805
00:40:31.640 --> 00:40:35.840
I feel that my soul has has settles down because it feels like it's been heard.

806
00:40:35.840 --> 00:40:37.560
So in other words, it feels safe again.

807
00:40:38.160 --> 00:40:41.800
Then I tell my soul to be quiet now that it's had it say it's,

808
00:40:41.840 --> 00:40:44.600
it's perfectly fine to be quiet. And then my,

809
00:40:44.760 --> 00:40:46.280
and then I allow my spirit to talk.

810
00:40:46.480 --> 00:40:50.160
The reason that that's important is if you don't allow your soul to talk first,

811
00:40:50.160 --> 00:40:54.960
you cannot hear your spirit because it's yet the soul's just

812
00:40:55.720 --> 00:40:58.440
but once it's, once you allow it to have it state,

813
00:40:58.480 --> 00:41:02.360
it stops yapping and you can so clearly hear your own spirit.

814
00:41:03.600 --> 00:41:06.160
And you're, we're not used to clearly hearing our spirit.

815
00:41:06.160 --> 00:41:08.200
We're used to having to fight to hear our spirit.

816
00:41:08.200 --> 00:41:12.360
Cause we're not on acknowledging this other aspect of ourselves.

817
00:41:12.560 --> 00:41:16.480
That's by the way, not evil. Your soul's not evil. Your body's not evil.

818
00:41:16.480 --> 00:41:17.880
God's not trying to get rid of them.

819
00:41:18.160 --> 00:41:21.320
He's just trying to get them to come to agreement with the fact that he is

820
00:41:21.320 --> 00:41:24.800
nothing to be afraid of. He meaning like spirit with capital S.

821
00:41:25.120 --> 00:41:27.960
He's nothing to be afraid of. That's all he's trying to do.

822
00:41:27.960 --> 00:41:30.760
He's not trying to eliminate them, eradicate them, you know,

823
00:41:31.040 --> 00:41:35.400
demolish them or whatever. He's just like, you don't need to be scared.

824
00:41:36.160 --> 00:41:38.080
So just let it be scared right now.

825
00:41:38.120 --> 00:41:41.720
It's not anything to be afraid of to let it talk. So just let it talk.

826
00:41:42.080 --> 00:41:44.960
Remember you're not your soul. You're not all that. You're not your fear.

827
00:41:45.240 --> 00:41:49.240
If you're afraid, that's not you talking. Anything that's negative,

828
00:41:49.240 --> 00:41:51.640
anything that's fearful, that doesn't believe the Lord,

829
00:41:51.880 --> 00:41:54.400
that is your soul or your body. That is not your identity.

830
00:41:54.400 --> 00:41:56.880
That's not who you are. And there's no need to be afraid of it.

831
00:41:56.880 --> 00:41:58.440
It's the part of you that's there.

832
00:41:58.920 --> 00:42:02.160
It's the part of you that's meant for the other part of you to protect.

833
00:42:02.640 --> 00:42:05.800
So just let it talk. No need to be threatened by it. You know,

834
00:42:05.840 --> 00:42:08.560
it doesn't define who it is that you are. So you let it talk.

835
00:42:08.560 --> 00:42:09.520
And then once it talks,

836
00:42:09.560 --> 00:42:14.480
then you can finally crystal clearly hear your spirit point about hearing your

837
00:42:14.480 --> 00:42:17.480
spirit is your spirit knows the character of God.

838
00:42:17.680 --> 00:42:21.800
So it's your spirit that knows in which direction it's feeling freedom.

839
00:42:22.680 --> 00:42:26.240
Which of these two decisions do you sense the character of God?

840
00:42:26.480 --> 00:42:29.840
Because your spirit is very familiar with the character of God. Yes.

841
00:42:29.840 --> 00:42:32.880
You're continuing to mature in it as you become more and more exposed to it.

842
00:42:33.120 --> 00:42:36.120
So it will become more clear, the more that we grow in him,

843
00:42:36.680 --> 00:42:41.680
but you will more clearly be able to define which of the decisions that you're

844
00:42:41.680 --> 00:42:44.240
feeling freedom from the spirit to move towards,

845
00:42:44.520 --> 00:42:46.400
because your soul has had it say,

846
00:42:46.440 --> 00:42:49.080
and now you can crystal clearly hear your spirit.

847
00:42:49.800 --> 00:42:52.600
It's harder to, when you're hearing, when,

848
00:42:52.680 --> 00:42:54.840
when the soul hasn't gotten to talk first,

849
00:42:56.040 --> 00:42:58.560
because part of yourself is being ignored and you don't want to,

850
00:42:58.600 --> 00:43:03.400
you want to allow all parts of yourself to be acknowledged. Uh, and, um,

851
00:43:03.440 --> 00:43:05.560
to, uh, I don't know,

852
00:43:05.560 --> 00:43:10.480
begin in significance and to be shown that they're valued. So anyway,

853
00:43:10.720 --> 00:43:12.120
is that helpful?

854
00:43:15.080 --> 00:43:15.920
Good.

855
00:43:16.920 --> 00:43:21.520
Uh, so, so just looking at the chat really quick,

856
00:43:21.760 --> 00:43:25.120
it's just me letting, making emotions, Heather full expression. Yes. Yeah.

857
00:43:25.360 --> 00:43:29.360
Letting, just letting the soul have it say, yeah. Yeah.

858
00:43:29.800 --> 00:43:34.800
So does anyone have anything else talked about that for probably like 30

859
00:43:34.840 --> 00:43:38.360
minutes? It really is its own teaching in and of itself.

860
00:43:38.360 --> 00:43:42.680
I think it's like number, you know, what is it? I think it may,

861
00:43:42.800 --> 00:43:46.320
maybe it's at number 13 in like the full series,

862
00:43:46.320 --> 00:43:49.080
maybe the session 13. So in Nora,

863
00:43:49.080 --> 00:43:51.920
and I actually had to combine multiple teachings into one.

864
00:43:51.920 --> 00:43:55.880
And that one I normally like spread them out and have like the whole decision

865
00:43:55.880 --> 00:43:57.760
making process a bit longer,

866
00:43:58.160 --> 00:44:01.040
just because it's something we all get so trapped in,

867
00:44:01.040 --> 00:44:04.960
especially as performers is everything's based on my decision.

868
00:44:04.960 --> 00:44:09.000
Everything's based on, um, my performance, my action. I'm just saying, sorry,

869
00:44:09.000 --> 00:44:12.280
my computer says that it is dying.

870
00:44:12.320 --> 00:44:16.760
It's amazing how fast that the, it goes through battery. When, um,

871
00:44:16.800 --> 00:44:20.200
I'm on zoom, I'll have like half of the battery and it'll like,

872
00:44:20.840 --> 00:44:24.080
try to go out in an hour. So does anyone have

873
00:44:25.480 --> 00:44:29.600
anything else or anything related to

874
00:44:31.680 --> 00:44:33.360
what, uh, Kate was asking.

875
00:44:39.240 --> 00:44:40.080
Okay.

876
00:44:45.680 --> 00:44:50.280
And I have not gotten to finish your, uh, video yet.

877
00:44:50.440 --> 00:44:53.840
Um, Casey, I'm sorry. So I'm looking forward to that.

878
00:44:54.280 --> 00:44:59.280
And I just thought Chris's when I, um, when I popped on and then I.

879
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:11.000
Oh, I loved your your journey share Kate from was that Saturday, I think, I think it was yesterday loved it so excited for you is great meant to need to respond to that as well.

880
00:45:12.520 --> 00:45:13.920
So, but I don't remember any.

881
00:45:14.920 --> 00:45:18.680
unanswered questions to be able to contribute.

882
00:45:21.560 --> 00:45:25.360
I have another question, but I don't want to hog all the question time it's so somebody.

883
00:45:26.200 --> 00:45:28.400
Well, no one else has popped up.

884
00:45:29.200 --> 00:45:30.240
Questions Kate.

885
00:45:31.800 --> 00:45:32.360
You do.

886
00:45:33.440 --> 00:45:35.200
i'm getting a lot of my questions answered.

887
00:45:35.840 --> 00:45:36.800
ask a question.

888
00:45:38.320 --> 00:45:39.120
Good question.

889
00:45:40.920 --> 00:45:42.240
You think really well.

890
00:45:43.360 --> 00:45:50.360
I right I try to write them down during the week when they come or like in the middle of the night, I had a question I was like surely i'll remember tomorrow morning and then.

891
00:45:52.040 --> 00:45:57.120
But um okay this isn't really well thought out so i'm just going to go for it.

892
00:45:58.480 --> 00:46:05.360
i'm kind of vulnerable, I, I think, a common trends and when I feel.

893
00:46:07.360 --> 00:46:16.200
i'm often around a lot of people, and I think actually this has probably taken place a lot, since I got saved and started going to a mega church and.

894
00:46:17.120 --> 00:46:18.800
Just always feeling like.

895
00:46:19.840 --> 00:46:26.120
What do they think about me or I don't think they like me or they're kind of cold every time I see them or they're kind of.

896
00:46:26.920 --> 00:46:42.120
Maybe I said something that upset them or maybe I may maybe I said something in a tone that they misinterpreted or just like hyper sensitive in that area of like there's a component, I think, of fear of man, but like and and what do other people think about me.

897
00:46:42.680 --> 00:46:50.520
But it seems to be just like this constant thing that comes up like oh they were they avoided me when they saw me or.

898
00:46:51.080 --> 00:47:00.080
And then trying to think back, what did I do, or if I did something I want to take ownership over it so and I can't out there a lot in my mind and it's it's exhausting.

899
00:47:00.680 --> 00:47:06.920
But it seems to be a trend in my life and I I don't want to go digging like trying to find the roots of all the things or.

900
00:47:06.920 --> 00:47:26.000
Where did the stem from like childhood, you know rejection isn't fear of rejection is it and and so trying to figure it out in the soul realm and spin spin your wheels, because that just takes everything out of me or like what do I need to do to uproot this thing or but.

901
00:47:26.000 --> 00:47:43.440
If I don't know if if that highlights something to you of what that thing is, and I know, actually, a lot of people experience it, I know a lot of friends who go through it, and so I know it's not super uncommon um yeah hope that it's some kind of question in there, so.

902
00:47:43.920 --> 00:47:46.400
Yes, no, no, there definitely is and.

903
00:47:46.400 --> 00:48:01.080
So I I struggled with that extremely and what helped is a couple of things one something that we've already all talked about is the fact that you know you you choose yourself.

904
00:48:01.560 --> 00:48:10.400
In that situation, meaning like and I i've got to find a better a better phrase without that might help connect the dots for people bit better.

905
00:48:10.400 --> 00:48:21.680
But you you you choose yourself you choose yourself as being valuable as being significant as being on is being who it is that God says that you are.

906
00:48:22.080 --> 00:48:35.400
The Europe at most importance to him that you abide in him that you were taken out of him you've been put back into him God Jesus himself abides in you you abide in him y'all abide in the father and the father himself abides in you.

907
00:48:35.440 --> 00:48:38.760
And that is the place from which you operate, that is a.

908
00:48:39.960 --> 00:49:05.360
So an interesting way to phrase it but that's a very important position, and that is who you are your identity is your connection with God it's the point at which your your spirit is is identified is connected with him, that is the place of your identity and and and because in those situations that you're talking about that's that is manifest in you and that is the place of your identity.

909
00:49:05.400 --> 00:49:35.360
And so, and so, again, this is a question that's manifesting all of those those questions and it's manifesting a lot of like self doubt desiring connection and being fearful of a lack of connection and and and so against the spilling of black So if you if you choose again Okay, no, I abide in the Lord I'm in the Lord I'm of the Lord, you know, etc, and then also that I am who he says that I am and that that's where it is that I am that's who I am, etc, that will that will quiet down a lot of the.

910
00:49:35.400 --> 00:49:42.400
That will ultimately that will deal with everything. But in addition to that, and that's how I began to heal from it.

911
00:49:42.400 --> 00:49:59.400
Because I would majorly overanalyze all of my interactions with people, all of them, I would overanalyze it's absolutely an exhausting way to live. So that was the biggest way that I got over it was just by choosing that I was who God says that I was, I had to choose.

912
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.640
It was a completely different approach to life altogether,

913
00:50:03.640 --> 00:50:06.200
and I had to choose him over my life.

914
00:50:06.200 --> 00:50:10.520
I had to choose him over how the relationships that I had

915
00:50:10.520 --> 00:50:13.920
or that I wanted to have or the type of house that I would have

916
00:50:13.920 --> 00:50:17.280
or whether I would go to college or whether I would go to what

917
00:50:17.280 --> 00:50:20.000
kind of jobs that I would have or my career or my money

918
00:50:20.000 --> 00:50:21.080
or whatever.

919
00:50:21.080 --> 00:50:22.200
I had to choose.

920
00:50:22.880 --> 00:50:30.600
I cannot express to you all the importance of what I refer to

921
00:50:30.600 --> 00:50:33.240
in that write-up that I did where I refer to

922
00:50:33.240 --> 00:50:35.400
as the ultimate choice, where you choose

923
00:50:35.400 --> 00:50:39.240
God over everything else, and it will literally fix everything.

924
00:50:39.240 --> 00:50:43.280
But as part of this step in that process,

925
00:50:43.280 --> 00:50:46.320
another thing that I did that I could kind of grab

926
00:50:46.320 --> 00:50:50.360
a hold of in addition to, OK, no, God says that I'm important.

927
00:50:50.360 --> 00:50:51.040
I'm in him.

928
00:50:51.040 --> 00:50:51.880
I abide in him.

929
00:50:51.880 --> 00:50:52.920
I would go through all those things.

930
00:50:52.920 --> 00:50:55.040
I would choose that I was who God says that I was,

931
00:50:55.040 --> 00:50:57.520
and I would anchor my identity in that.

932
00:50:57.520 --> 00:50:59.360
In addition to that, what I would do

933
00:50:59.360 --> 00:51:05.680
is I would not allow myself to remember, rehearse, or replay

934
00:51:05.680 --> 00:51:07.400
situations with people.

935
00:51:07.400 --> 00:51:09.920
I wouldn't rehearse them before I went into them,

936
00:51:09.920 --> 00:51:13.280
and I would not replay them when I left, especially

937
00:51:13.280 --> 00:51:14.800
replaying them when I left.

938
00:51:14.800 --> 00:51:18.400
I would not allow myself to do that,

939
00:51:18.400 --> 00:51:22.160
and that, I will just tell you, was terrifying,

940
00:51:22.160 --> 00:51:26.080
because it felt like I felt completely unsafe.

941
00:51:26.080 --> 00:51:28.520
I was replaying things in efforts

942
00:51:28.520 --> 00:51:33.920
to protect myself in order to avoid situations that could

943
00:51:33.920 --> 00:51:37.440
potentially come up based on whatever it is that I said,

944
00:51:37.440 --> 00:51:42.840
or maybe if I caught it in time, I could correct it.

945
00:51:42.840 --> 00:51:43.720
I could fix it.

946
00:51:43.720 --> 00:51:46.400
Again, it's based on this feeling

947
00:51:46.400 --> 00:51:49.040
that everything depends on me.

948
00:51:49.040 --> 00:51:51.200
Everything depends on my actions.

949
00:51:51.200 --> 00:51:53.280
Everything depends on me figuring it out.

950
00:51:53.280 --> 00:51:56.560
Everything depends on me fixing it.

951
00:51:56.560 --> 00:51:59.680
There are thoughts about me, et cetera.

952
00:51:59.680 --> 00:52:05.160
And anyway, that's what I did, going back

953
00:52:05.160 --> 00:52:09.440
to the conversation we were just having about faith.

954
00:52:09.440 --> 00:52:12.560
What do you have faith in?

955
00:52:12.560 --> 00:52:14.920
Well, what do you have faith in, and then how do you act on it?

956
00:52:14.960 --> 00:52:16.480
One of the things that I did in order

957
00:52:16.480 --> 00:52:19.360
to act on that faith of God says that he is this,

958
00:52:19.360 --> 00:52:22.160
and he says that I am this, therefore, what would I do?

959
00:52:22.160 --> 00:52:23.400
I wouldn't rehearse.

960
00:52:23.400 --> 00:52:26.360
And God even talked to the disciples

961
00:52:26.360 --> 00:52:28.920
about not rehearsing before they went into something.

962
00:52:28.920 --> 00:52:33.000
And he said, if you are called before a court,

963
00:52:33.000 --> 00:52:34.760
he said, do not prepare.

964
00:52:34.760 --> 00:52:36.680
He said, the Holy Spirit will tell you what you

965
00:52:36.680 --> 00:52:38.880
need to know when you're there.

966
00:52:38.880 --> 00:52:41.840
So my goodness, if he would tell the disciples to do that,

967
00:52:41.840 --> 00:52:44.480
we don't need to be rehearsing, going into situations

968
00:52:45.400 --> 00:52:49.080
or rehearsing how we're going to approach, enter the church.

969
00:52:49.080 --> 00:52:51.240
And then when we see people, we don't.

970
00:52:51.240 --> 00:52:53.280
So that was one thing.

971
00:52:53.280 --> 00:52:54.960
Another thing was the replaying.

972
00:52:54.960 --> 00:52:59.000
And I thought, OK, if I am who God says that I am,

973
00:52:59.000 --> 00:53:01.280
and if I'm going to have faith in that, how would I live?

974
00:53:01.280 --> 00:53:02.840
I thought, well, I wouldn't replay it.

975
00:53:02.840 --> 00:53:04.200
I've got other things to do.

976
00:53:04.200 --> 00:53:05.680
I interacted with that person.

977
00:53:05.680 --> 00:53:07.240
That time is now over.

978
00:53:07.240 --> 00:53:09.440
I am moving on to something else.

979
00:53:09.440 --> 00:53:11.360
My time is important.

980
00:53:11.360 --> 00:53:12.360
It's valuable.

981
00:53:12.360 --> 00:53:15.680
God needs me doing things and experiencing things

982
00:53:15.680 --> 00:53:18.160
and enjoying things and contributing to things.

983
00:53:18.160 --> 00:53:22.520
I do not have time to spend the majority of my energy

984
00:53:22.520 --> 00:53:26.600
on an event that started and stopped, and I'm now moved on.

985
00:53:26.600 --> 00:53:27.640
I need to move on.

986
00:53:27.640 --> 00:53:29.400
I've got other things.

987
00:53:29.400 --> 00:53:32.480
And so it was valuing who it is that God says that I was.

988
00:53:32.480 --> 00:53:34.400
So that was one of the things that I

989
00:53:34.400 --> 00:53:36.600
would do in acting on my faith.

990
00:53:36.600 --> 00:53:37.840
He says he's this.

991
00:53:37.840 --> 00:53:39.000
He says I am this.

992
00:53:39.000 --> 00:53:40.800
So therefore, what would I do?

993
00:53:40.800 --> 00:53:42.200
OK, the no need to replay.

994
00:53:42.240 --> 00:53:46.000
In other words, how do I stop trying to self-protect?

995
00:53:46.000 --> 00:53:49.880
How do I stop trying to self-provide for myself?

996
00:53:49.880 --> 00:53:55.240
So maybe that's a good question to ask yourself

997
00:53:55.240 --> 00:53:56.800
is how do I act in faith?

998
00:53:56.800 --> 00:54:00.000
In other words, how do I stop trying to provide for myself

999
00:54:00.000 --> 00:54:07.440
and protect myself in ways that I'm not

1000
00:54:07.440 --> 00:54:08.800
showing my trust in the Lord?

1001
00:54:08.800 --> 00:54:12.280
I'm not actually leaving my reputation in his hands.

1002
00:54:12.280 --> 00:54:14.240
I'm trying to fix everything.

1003
00:54:14.240 --> 00:54:15.680
And I can't even control it anyway.

1004
00:54:15.680 --> 00:54:16.760
See, that's the thing.

1005
00:54:16.760 --> 00:54:18.080
You can't control it in any way.

1006
00:54:18.080 --> 00:54:19.720
You can't fix it.

1007
00:54:19.720 --> 00:54:21.000
Anyway, that's what I would do.

1008
00:54:21.000 --> 00:54:25.240
That was shockingly powerful, just strictly the not replaying.

1009
00:54:25.240 --> 00:54:27.320
Even forgetting the rehearsing part,

1010
00:54:27.320 --> 00:54:28.760
I stopped doing that as well.

1011
00:54:28.760 --> 00:54:32.640
But the biggest thing for me was to stop the replaying

1012
00:54:32.640 --> 00:54:35.240
and to allow the thing to end.

1013
00:54:35.240 --> 00:54:36.520
I interact with the person.

1014
00:54:36.560 --> 00:54:37.400
I walk off.

1015
00:54:37.400 --> 00:54:41.200
And I force myself to be thinking about something else.

1016
00:54:41.200 --> 00:54:44.240
And I would not allow myself to go back and rethink it.

1017
00:54:44.240 --> 00:54:46.680
And I had to be very strict with myself.

1018
00:54:46.680 --> 00:54:48.480
Don't do it.

1019
00:54:48.480 --> 00:54:54.040
And I had to do it choosing that in faith

1020
00:54:54.040 --> 00:54:57.880
that if God says that that is who he is and that's who I am,

1021
00:54:57.880 --> 00:54:59.760
then I'm safe.

1022
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.640
unsafe because I'm reverting back to the replaying, believing I'm unsafe.

1023
00:55:04.240 --> 00:55:04.840
So, nope.

1024
00:55:05.000 --> 00:55:09.960
If that is me giving into self giving into the temptation to

1025
00:55:09.960 --> 00:55:11.840
self-protect, I'm not going to go there.

1026
00:55:12.920 --> 00:55:15.680
So anyway, that was honestly very, very big for me.

1027
00:55:15.920 --> 00:55:16.840
It's hard.

1028
00:55:17.120 --> 00:55:20.680
It's honestly, as weirdly as weird as it sounds, because even though it's only

1029
00:55:20.680 --> 00:55:24.240
happening in your head to not allow yourself to do, it can honestly be terrifying.

1030
00:55:24.560 --> 00:55:26.200
There's reasons why we do that.

1031
00:55:27.000 --> 00:55:28.640
There's doggone good reasons.

1032
00:55:28.840 --> 00:55:30.880
We've got other ways that we'd all rather spend our time.

1033
00:55:30.880 --> 00:55:33.640
So there's reason why we are giving it up to do that.

1034
00:55:34.120 --> 00:55:39.440
And it's hard to stop, but it is that the, the power that it

1035
00:55:39.440 --> 00:55:42.880
holds in our lives, how would you, how'd you put it?

1036
00:55:43.200 --> 00:55:50.840
That the intensity of the stronghold is, um, I don't, how would I, how would

1037
00:55:50.840 --> 00:55:59.520
I, where that is matched by the power that, um, uh, how would you put that?

1038
00:55:59.800 --> 00:56:02.720
So basically the thing is like, it has such a stronghold in your life and

1039
00:56:02.720 --> 00:56:09.440
it's holding such power over you that you telling it no is we'll have that

1040
00:56:09.440 --> 00:56:17.960
amount of power, um, will, will, um, will more, will, will operate in power

1041
00:56:17.960 --> 00:56:21.480
in your life in a positive way, to the same degree that it was

1042
00:56:21.640 --> 00:56:23.080
affecting your life negatively.

1043
00:56:23.760 --> 00:56:26.680
Think of how, how much of a stronghold that it has in you.

1044
00:56:26.680 --> 00:56:29.000
And think of that as kind of like a unit of power.

1045
00:56:29.520 --> 00:56:35.200
You just simply say no to it will thrust you forward with that much

1046
00:56:35.200 --> 00:56:37.200
power in the positive direction.

1047
00:56:38.800 --> 00:56:40.600
I know there's another way to put that.

1048
00:56:40.600 --> 00:56:41.600
I don't know exactly.

1049
00:56:41.840 --> 00:56:44.960
That's exactly how, what I mean, but I know that there's a better

1050
00:56:44.960 --> 00:56:47.480
way to word it than what I just said.

1051
00:56:47.760 --> 00:56:49.440
The point is it's that powerful.

1052
00:56:49.440 --> 00:56:53.160
So the power of no is extreme.

1053
00:56:53.440 --> 00:56:57.000
It's not like, oh my word, this is such a big stronghold in my life.

1054
00:56:57.000 --> 00:57:01.680
And oh my goodness, am I going to have to attack this stronghold 50 times?

1055
00:57:01.680 --> 00:57:04.360
Am I going to have to be that much more powerful than it?

1056
00:57:04.400 --> 00:57:11.160
No, a simple no and not allowing yourself to do it will has enough power to break

1057
00:57:11.160 --> 00:57:13.320
some, a stronghold that's that powerful.

1058
00:57:13.560 --> 00:57:20.000
That's what I'm trying to say is that it really won't take like 50 units of power

1059
00:57:20.200 --> 00:57:24.920
to destroy, you know, a unit, uh, to destroy this, the stronghold, like say

1060
00:57:24.920 --> 00:57:31.280
for instance, if it's a 50 unit strong, uh, 50, 50 unit, um, a unit of

1061
00:57:31.280 --> 00:57:35.160
power negative in your life, it's not going to take 50 units.

1062
00:57:35.200 --> 00:57:36.400
All it's going to take is one.

1063
00:57:36.400 --> 00:57:36.880
No.

1064
00:57:37.480 --> 00:57:41.040
And that, and that all of the destruction of that 50 units of power in

1065
00:57:41.040 --> 00:57:43.320
your life will be gone with no.

1066
00:57:43.840 --> 00:57:43.960
Now.

1067
00:57:43.960 --> 00:57:44.160
Yeah.

1068
00:57:44.160 --> 00:57:45.520
You're going to have to keep doing it.

1069
00:57:45.520 --> 00:57:47.440
You're going to have to keep stepping out in that faith.

1070
00:57:47.720 --> 00:57:52.760
I'm saying that it's shocking how powerful your, no, your simple, no, and

1071
00:57:52.760 --> 00:57:57.120
not allowing yourself to do that really will be, yeah, I promise you it's no

1072
00:57:57.120 --> 00:57:57.840
little deal.

1073
00:57:58.280 --> 00:58:01.760
Um, so we're thinking we're doing so such a little thing, but it is really

1074
00:58:01.760 --> 00:58:06.320
hard to do, but such a little thing really will, um, exponentially

1075
00:58:06.320 --> 00:58:07.680
free you in your life.

1076
00:58:08.200 --> 00:58:10.880
Um, I really got to come up with a better way to word that.

1077
00:58:12.760 --> 00:58:16.320
So I just wanted to say that to encourage you that it's what you will be doing

1078
00:58:16.680 --> 00:58:22.400
will be very, very, um, uh, will greatly affect your life very strongly.

1079
00:58:24.560 --> 00:58:27.960
So then, I mean, I think half the replaying is like, well, what if I did

1080
00:58:27.960 --> 00:58:31.280
say something to offend them, then maybe I need to think through it.

1081
00:58:31.280 --> 00:58:34.360
So that way I need to, so it's like, you just surrender it and just trust

1082
00:58:34.360 --> 00:58:36.640
that if you offended somebody, they're going to come back and tell you, and

1083
00:58:36.640 --> 00:58:39.440
then you can take responsibility for it at that time, if they do.

1084
00:58:40.320 --> 00:58:40.680
Yeah.

1085
00:58:45.160 --> 00:58:48.480
Everyone loves you and everything's fine and no one has anything against

1086
00:58:48.480 --> 00:58:50.240
you just like live in that reality.

1087
00:58:50.920 --> 00:58:55.480
Basically, because remember what I do, I just do in the extreme, because what

1088
00:58:55.480 --> 00:59:00.920
I'm choosing is I'm choosing God and operating as a son of God over my

1089
00:59:00.920 --> 00:59:04.400
reputation, I'm choosing God over my lifestyle.

1090
00:59:05.000 --> 00:59:10.080
So I have worked so hard to preserve having a life exactly the way that I

1091
00:59:10.080 --> 00:59:13.760
want it, and it wasn't getting me where I wanted to get with God.

1092
00:59:13.760 --> 00:59:17.160
So I had to abandon this completely in order to pursue him.

1093
00:59:17.160 --> 00:59:21.960
Like I needed to, because I couldn't, I couldn't, um, this

1094
00:59:21.960 --> 00:59:23.400
had too much of a hold on me.

1095
00:59:23.400 --> 00:59:30.160
I couldn't, uh, move into this the way that I needed to until I abandoned this.

1096
00:59:30.400 --> 00:59:33.760
So I would, I would just like, okay, God, even if I've offended them,

1097
00:59:34.240 --> 00:59:36.040
you know, or whatever, that is not my heart.

1098
00:59:36.080 --> 00:59:38.840
I'm just asking that you protect me while I'm trying to learn all of this.

1099
00:59:38.840 --> 00:59:41.520
And I would do it because I would choose me over the, over the

1100
00:59:41.520 --> 00:59:46.040
consequences of them being offended over the consequences of it

1101
00:59:46.040 --> 00:59:47.720
damaging my relationship with them.

1102
00:59:48.240 --> 00:59:52.360
It's very, very hard, but remember, this is so important.

1103
00:59:52.360 --> 00:59:56.200
Remember, we're not operating outside of God anymore.

1104
00:59:56.240 --> 00:59:57.200
It's so important.

1105
00:59:57.240 --> 00:59:59.600
Always walk into the church after.

1106
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:06.000
You have remembered and chosen that you are who God says that you are, that that is who you are,

1107
01:00:06.000 --> 01:00:12.000
and that you literally are abiding inside of him, and then approach and enter the church,

1108
01:00:12.000 --> 01:00:18.000
we're just using the church as an example with all those people, church, Bible study, grocery store, whatever,

1109
01:00:18.000 --> 01:00:23.000
as a son of God, already having shifted into choosing that you are who God says that you are.

1110
01:00:23.000 --> 01:00:28.000
You're doing that before you even interact with the person, so that when you're interacting with the person,

1111
01:00:28.000 --> 01:00:34.000
you're interacting with them from the character of God, which is less likely to offend them,

1112
01:00:34.000 --> 01:00:40.000
unless they're very offended by the character of God, because there's something in them that's not in alignment with his character.

1113
01:00:40.000 --> 01:00:46.000
Then, obviously, the Pharisees were offended by Jesus, and Jesus didn't call that a problem.

1114
01:00:46.000 --> 01:00:53.000
He didn't take on that responsibility for them being offended, so that's what I just did.

1115
01:00:53.000 --> 01:01:02.000
I'm like, OK, God, instead of trying, I give up trying to do everything right for actually just living out of your character,

1116
01:01:02.000 --> 01:01:11.000
living as a being of love, of goodness, protecting, providing, being who you are into the earth.

1117
01:01:11.000 --> 01:01:17.000
I had to shift from thinking about the do's and don'ts, and did I do it all right, and did I say it all right,

1118
01:01:18.000 --> 01:01:24.000
and is that the Southern hospitality gospel way of approaching it, or do I approach it as a son of God?

1119
01:01:24.000 --> 01:01:31.000
I had to begin to learn to operate more out of my being than out of all of the rules that I knew to follow,

1120
01:01:31.000 --> 01:01:37.000
and that shift was hard because I'm risking destroying this.

1121
01:01:37.000 --> 01:01:44.000
I'm risking the consequences of what's going to happen as I'm a baby stumbling and falling,

1122
01:01:44.000 --> 01:01:49.000
and picking myself back up and falling, picking myself back up, but remember, just like God does with the baby

1123
01:01:49.000 --> 01:01:55.000
and puts a lot of extra fat on it to catch it so that it's not as damaged when it falls,

1124
01:01:55.000 --> 01:01:59.000
God does the same thing for us when we're learning how to do something.

1125
01:01:59.000 --> 01:02:05.000
It really will not experience all the damage that we think that we will because God knows,

1126
01:02:05.000 --> 01:02:09.000
hey, look, you're just trying to be like me. You're not trying to follow new rules.

1127
01:02:09.000 --> 01:02:15.000
We're not exchanging the rules of the world for now the rules of rest.

1128
01:02:15.000 --> 01:02:19.000
There's no rules of rest. It's God's character.

1129
01:02:19.000 --> 01:02:26.000
It's resting and abiding in God's character and operating and interacting with people by simply being who we are,

1130
01:02:26.000 --> 01:02:34.000
so shifting from doing and knowing and thinking and analyzing to being is really hard.

1131
01:02:34.000 --> 01:02:41.000
So is that helpful?

1132
01:02:41.000 --> 01:02:44.000
Did you hear me? Is that helpful?

1133
01:02:44.000 --> 01:02:47.000
I think we kind of lost you for a second.

1134
01:02:47.000 --> 01:02:51.000
My service cut out and it came back. That was super, super good. Thank you.

1135
01:02:51.000 --> 01:02:53.000
Okay, good. I wanted to make sure.

1136
01:02:53.000 --> 01:03:00.000
Because my biggest issues have been my fear of people.

1137
01:03:01.000 --> 01:03:04.000
Like I shared with all my biggest fear is emotional abandonment.

1138
01:03:04.000 --> 01:03:08.000
And that's emotional abandonment by people or God or whatever.

1139
01:03:08.000 --> 01:03:14.000
It's not fear of like no food or no been there.

1140
01:03:14.000 --> 01:03:18.000
It's not a fear of like no money.

1141
01:03:18.000 --> 01:03:22.000
I will do everything I can in order to avoid emotional abandonment.

1142
01:03:22.000 --> 01:03:23.000
And so it's meant to my detriment.

1143
01:03:23.000 --> 01:03:32.000
And so what I had to risk with the Lord is God, I choose you over trying to avoid my relationships,

1144
01:03:32.000 --> 01:03:38.000
emotionally abandoning me or you emotionally abandoning me, God.

1145
01:03:38.000 --> 01:03:41.000
I choose you even if you emotionally abandon me.

1146
01:03:41.000 --> 01:03:48.000
I literally gave up that my greatest fear to choose him.

1147
01:03:48.000 --> 01:03:50.000
It's that extreme.

1148
01:03:50.000 --> 01:03:52.000
That's what we have to do.

1149
01:03:52.000 --> 01:03:55.000
And so that's what we have to like risk of ourselves.

1150
01:03:55.000 --> 01:03:58.000
And so anyway, just ask the Lord to kind of walk you through it.

1151
01:03:58.000 --> 01:04:04.000
And, and remember, whatever you do, as y'all are learning to do all of these things, remember I am too.

1152
01:04:04.000 --> 01:04:05.000
I'm still I'm to do it.

1153
01:04:05.000 --> 01:04:07.000
And all my word, I'm being stretched.

1154
01:04:07.000 --> 01:04:17.000
And, and I've really, really, really struggled with, with stuff like these past, I don't know, several months or a year or something like that.

1155
01:04:17.000 --> 01:04:18.000
I've really struggled with some things.

1156
01:04:19.000 --> 01:04:21.000
I'm like, Oh my word, where did all of this come from?

1157
01:04:21.000 --> 01:04:27.000
And because I'm always having to grow in and expand my boundaries and rest in greater measures.

1158
01:04:27.000 --> 01:04:40.000
And, and, and I just, and I will tell you that the more loose you are, the more compassion you have, the less shame and the less condemnation, the faster you will move.

1159
01:04:40.000 --> 01:04:52.000
So, you know, take everything that I'm saying and all these things about how to have faith in the Lord and how to make decisions and just, just continue to choose them just to just like Laura, this, I just continue to choose you.

1160
01:04:52.000 --> 01:04:57.000
And then I mess up and I choose the world or choose my lifestyle or I do something else.

1161
01:04:57.000 --> 01:04:59.000
Catch myself. Oh yeah, that's right.

1162
01:04:59.000 --> 01:05:00.000
I shouldn't do that. Okay.

1163
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.040
God, I choose you just be really relaxed about it.

1164
01:05:03.040 --> 01:05:06.300
Don't, if you get very uptight about it,

1165
01:05:06.300 --> 01:05:08.480
it will be harder to,

1166
01:05:08.480 --> 01:05:10.720
it will be harder to grow and mature

1167
01:05:10.720 --> 01:05:12.160
and it'll be more painful.

1168
01:05:12.160 --> 01:05:14.240
The more loose you are and more compassion,

1169
01:05:14.240 --> 01:05:16.360
the more that you have for yourself,

1170
01:05:16.360 --> 01:05:18.280
the more that you simply repent

1171
01:05:18.280 --> 01:05:19.720
and remember what repent is.

1172
01:05:19.720 --> 01:05:21.240
It's just, you catch yourself and you're like,

1173
01:05:21.240 --> 01:05:23.760
oh, okay, not to do that.

1174
01:05:23.760 --> 01:05:25.420
I'm going to be doing this instead.

1175
01:05:25.420 --> 01:05:29.920
Instead of like thinking you need to spend any time

1176
01:05:29.920 --> 01:05:33.760
on having realized that you were doing something that,

1177
01:05:33.760 --> 01:05:36.080
you know, was not of faith.

1178
01:05:36.080 --> 01:05:37.680
You know, it was not of the character of the Lord.

1179
01:05:37.680 --> 01:05:40.580
Instead of like, oh my word, man, I caught myself again.

1180
01:05:40.580 --> 01:05:42.320
I thought I knew, I thought I've learned better.

1181
01:05:42.320 --> 01:05:44.120
I thought I've come so much further.

1182
01:05:44.120 --> 01:05:46.120
Shame, condemnation, blah, blah, blah.

1183
01:05:46.120 --> 01:05:47.880
You know, I'm so depressed, I'm so sad.

1184
01:05:47.880 --> 01:05:49.560
I just want to sit in bed all day.

1185
01:05:49.560 --> 01:05:52.200
Just like, no, just like, okay, I realize it.

1186
01:05:52.200 --> 01:05:54.740
Okay, just stop and just do this instead.

1187
01:05:54.740 --> 01:05:57.040
And it is, I promise you,

1188
01:05:57.040 --> 01:05:59.900
I promise you, you shift in a moment.

1189
01:06:00.840 --> 01:06:01.680
I promise you that.

1190
01:06:01.680 --> 01:06:04.000
It is one moment of decision

1191
01:06:04.000 --> 01:06:06.760
and literally your feelings will change.

1192
01:06:06.760 --> 01:06:09.520
If all you do is you choose no shame and condemnation

1193
01:06:09.520 --> 01:06:13.440
and you simply turn towards what it is that God has said,

1194
01:06:13.440 --> 01:06:15.640
instead of like feeling bad about what it is

1195
01:06:15.640 --> 01:06:18.160
that you were doing, just like, okay, well, what did God say?

1196
01:06:18.160 --> 01:06:19.760
Okay, that's what I'm going to do now.

1197
01:06:19.760 --> 01:06:21.880
I promise you that everything,

1198
01:06:21.880 --> 01:06:24.400
including your feelings physically

1199
01:06:24.400 --> 01:06:25.840
and in your body physically as well,

1200
01:06:25.840 --> 01:06:27.680
will shift in a moment.

1201
01:06:27.680 --> 01:06:30.140
Not in five days, you know, in a moment,

1202
01:06:30.140 --> 01:06:32.000
it shifts with your new intention.

1203
01:06:32.000 --> 01:06:34.100
You're like, okay, that's what I'm going to do now.

1204
01:06:34.100 --> 01:06:36.320
It really is very wild.

1205
01:06:36.320 --> 01:06:40.360
So, rigidness makes me religious.

1206
01:06:40.360 --> 01:06:41.200
Yes.

1207
01:06:43.280 --> 01:06:46.240
And, oh, good, Kate, I'm glad it's helpful.

1208
01:06:46.240 --> 01:06:48.540
So, and then Cicely, you were asking,

1209
01:06:48.540 --> 01:06:50.040
are these recordings saved somewhere

1210
01:06:50.040 --> 01:06:50.960
for us to watch back later?

1211
01:06:50.960 --> 01:06:55.960
Yes, on the Rest Intensive members page

1212
01:06:56.240 --> 01:06:58.760
on the enterhis.rest page.

1213
01:06:58.760 --> 01:07:00.640
So, if you go there, yeah, these,

1214
01:07:00.640 --> 01:07:04.800
you have lifetime access to all of these fireside chats

1215
01:07:04.800 --> 01:07:06.120
and all of the rest groups.

1216
01:07:06.120 --> 01:07:07.040
They're all up on there.

1217
01:07:07.040 --> 01:07:08.760
You just, yeah, so anyway.

1218
01:07:10.320 --> 01:07:13.600
Well, I will let us go for now

1219
01:07:13.600 --> 01:07:15.400
because we're a little bit over,

1220
01:07:15.400 --> 01:07:17.600
which basically is the normal time we end.

1221
01:07:17.600 --> 01:07:21.120
So, but I'm so funny.

1222
01:07:21.120 --> 01:07:23.840
I always like, oh, we squeeze one more question in.

1223
01:07:23.840 --> 01:07:25.200
Well, I ought to know.

1224
01:07:25.200 --> 01:07:27.360
It's always going to take us to like 15 after.

1225
01:07:27.360 --> 01:07:29.220
So, but I'll let y'all go.

1226
01:07:29.220 --> 01:07:30.960
It's good to see all of y'all.

1227
01:07:30.960 --> 01:07:35.840
And I will talk to y'all on Tuesday.

1228
01:07:35.840 --> 01:07:37.800
And if any of y'all have any journey shares

1229
01:07:37.800 --> 01:07:40.520
to catch us up on, please do.

1230
01:07:40.520 --> 01:07:42.520
Let us know how the Lord is showing up in your life

1231
01:07:42.520 --> 01:07:45.780
and like revealing his character in amazing ways.

1232
01:07:45.780 --> 01:07:46.700
Look for it.

1233
01:07:46.740 --> 01:07:49.180
Look for how God is showing up in goodness.

1234
01:07:49.180 --> 01:07:52.180
Not, it doesn't always mean that everything that happens

1235
01:07:52.180 --> 01:07:55.780
is going to be beautiful and comfortable and fun,

1236
01:07:55.780 --> 01:07:57.540
but you saw God.

1237
01:07:57.540 --> 01:07:58.700
That's what's important.

1238
01:07:58.700 --> 01:08:01.260
Find God, see God, ask God to show you God,

1239
01:08:01.260 --> 01:08:03.660
just show up and then show me what you look like

1240
01:08:03.660 --> 01:08:05.560
and just do something and let me see it.

1241
01:08:05.560 --> 01:08:06.500
Doesn't have to be fun.

1242
01:08:06.500 --> 01:08:08.060
Doesn't have to be exciting.

1243
01:08:08.060 --> 01:08:10.580
Doesn't have to be comfortable, but see God.

1244
01:08:10.580 --> 01:08:12.700
Just ask the Lord if you'll get to see him.

1245
01:08:12.700 --> 01:08:14.300
And I promise that as weird as it sounds,

1246
01:08:14.300 --> 01:08:17.100
even if it's painful, it will be a treasure.

1247
01:08:17.100 --> 01:08:19.160
Some of my most treasured moments with the Lord

1248
01:08:19.160 --> 01:08:21.180
are actually painful because I saw him

1249
01:08:21.180 --> 01:08:23.260
and felt him in a more intimate way

1250
01:08:23.260 --> 01:08:26.160
than I did in the more comfortable times.

1251
01:08:26.160 --> 01:08:28.220
So anyway, so I'd love to see any journey shares

1252
01:08:28.220 --> 01:08:29.899
if anyone has anything, any,

1253
01:08:29.899 --> 01:08:31.819
and we'll have our rest group on Tuesday night

1254
01:08:31.819 --> 01:08:33.859
and y'all get to share with everyone.

1255
01:08:33.859 --> 01:08:36.660
And I'll see y'all then, bye.