It's very good to see everybody and as everyone sees we have Renata up at three in the morning from Norway.
So,
I'm not even sure if I have that commitment.
It's wonderful. We're so excited to have you with us. Oh, thank you.
All right.
Hello everyone.
I am at some friends house down in Atlanta, Georgia, which is very exciting. It means I get to see Lindsay tomorrow. It's been a while since I've seen her.
And, and that we've gotten to visit I know I'm excited.
So anyway, I'm in my friend's kitchen at the moment I was upstairs in my room that I'm staying in at my friend's house, but apparently the internet, I kept freezing so the internet wasn't great up there so the access so.
So, my friend is watching and I guess it's football, it's some kind of a sport over there. And
so you may hear that in the background, but
anyway, I just started down here to see several friends, and for the day, and then I'm going to see Lindsay tomorrow morning for brunch, and then I'm headed out.
So, headed back to Charlotte to be with my husband so very excited to see him. I know it's just been a few hours.
That's what happens.
Great.
Well, okay so does anyone have something to start us off with.
It's our first fireside chat for the rest lifestyle so the past few times that we've met you know they've been the rest groups.
I've gotten to y'all all gotten to like visit and everything this first time like we're all like together for the whole hour, and which is, which I always really enjoy because I enjoy the rest groups.
So I'm going to have to figure out something else to do because I can't be in all of the rooms at the same time so I don't get to be with all of my like favorite people, because I'm always only with half of them and the other half are in another room
So I'm like, I'm gonna have to, I think my husband figured out how I could get to watch everybody that I would just like create separate.
I won't explain it all to y'all but I'll be able to break everything out and be able to record everything. So I can at least get to be with everybody later.
I can at least like watch everybody's later so I feel like I've missed so much, and I get to miss my friends when I can only can be in one group at a time.
So, my favorites are the fireside chat, because I get to be with everybody at the same time.
So does anyone have anything that they would like to start us off with any questions that have come up, or, or, I don't know anything that you'd like to kind of like start us off with by sharing like where it is that you are.
You know with the Lord or anything like that.
Oh, I'm good. Thank you, though. I appreciate it. I'll let you have all this. We had sushi. So, no, it is all yours. I'm just, I hope you don't mind I'm doing my meeting down here because the internet wasn't, I couldn't get proper internet for my
zoom. Yeah. Oh yeah, it's great. So I hope that's okay.
If you hear the parrot that Samson, so he might chime in periodically start talking. So anyway, does anyone have something to start us off with.
You know me I could always try to pull something out of a hat but y'all are usually really good and you give me something.
Yeah.
This, I mean, this was one of the hardest weeks of my life, I would have to say.
Monday.
Well, you know I'm doing the radiation therapy and that's going really well. I've had 13, and I only have two left so that's been really well.
Anyway, on Monday.
You know, I think I told you about my job that I work for care management.
And I work very closely with two nurses.
Both of them got laid off this week.
And our company merged with another one, and they kind of took over.
And both of, I mean, like these two gals especially one of them, I'm really close to.
And they called one of them who was on vacation at Disneyland, and let her know that she was laid off.
And they.
Yeah, it's like, and.
But the one gal that I'm really close to, she's from China and she's here on a visa.
And the company was sponsoring her, but now they let her go, so she may have to go
back to China if she can't find another company to sponsor her.
So it's just been a very emotional time.
It would almost I think I'd almost feel better if I got laid off.
I don't know if you understand that, but instead of my two friends, you know, it
I could handle that better, I think.
And I got a text from a friend on
yesterday.
And she was asking me she was actually a
leader on a trip I took to France in April.
And God had laid me on her heart and she was praying for me.
And, you know, and then.
You know, it was like.
You know, I was turning to the Lord and then this morning it was like
had kind of a breakthrough, you know, where.
You know, when God shows up and you sense
his presence and it changes everything.
I had one of those things, and then
this afternoon I got an email from somebody who wants to take part, you know,
wants wants to take part of what my friend has been doing,
which nobody can really replace her because of her knowledge and her technical, you know.
And that just got, you know,
when I saw that, oh, somebody is going to is going to be replacing her.
And to some degree, the other person isn't a nurse.
So, you know, but it just.
And there's I mean, there's just a whole lot of people that are upset over this,
that it just doesn't make sense to let the two people who guide the department go.
You know, it just doesn't.
So,
you know, I'm going to be OK, but it's just been a very emotionally.
And I think Rita and I are twins because
Rita was going through some similar stuff this week.
And
yeah, it's just been difficult.
But, you know, the Lord is there with you, with me.
And that makes all the difference, really.
But.
Yeah, so I don't know any in situations like this,
Ashley, do you have any words of wisdom, you know, because it.
I really do think if if I got laid off, I could handle it better.
You know, I've gone from angry to crying to angry, you know.
Yes, yeah, well, for one thing, I commend you for
for the depth of your feelings because it shows that you care
and it shows, you know, that you have a love for those people.
And so the thing is, though, that we have all of this love, we have this care.
But where are we going to direct it?
In other words, how are we going to steward what we've been entrusted with?
We've been entrusted with an aspect of of somebody else's life, their souls.
We've been able to have insight into it.
We've been able to be interactive, interacting.
We've had the privilege of being blessed
by them, of being of pouring into them, of being invested in them, et cetera.
But then these things happen to them and we feel, wait a minute.
You know, this is a this is an injustice or I don't want to be without them or,
you know, because there's probably like this myriad of things I will.
I don't like how this is going to affect me.
I don't feel that this was that they were treated fairly.
You know, I want them to be treated better,
you know, or I'm concerned about like what's going to happen to them, et cetera.
And so I just wanted to first commend you for feeling the way that you do,
because it's revealing the fact that you care so very deeply.
And that's a very from a very pure heart.
So then we just think about, OK, well, what do I how do I steward the feelings
that I have and then how do I do that as a son of God, as opposed to out of like
like, for instance, you think about, OK, well, what is it that I'm feeling?
Well, I'm feeling unrest.
And then one of the ways in which I'm
feeling unrest is I'm feeling anger or I'm feeling fear or I'm feeling whatever.
And there's
and so we can put kind of different labels on it if it kind of helps you.
And just remember that anything negative
that you're feeling, you know, that's weighing you down,
that's creating kind of like like an oppressiveness that can be released and let go.
So.
And, and you don't have to care.
There's some aspect in which you're carrying a responsibility that, um, that you don't
have to live under.
And here's the important thing, and this is why it's so important is if you, again, remember
what I said, I commend you for the feelings that you have, I commend you for how it is
that you are responding to all this because there's gold there, but in order for that
gold to be able to serve those people as a son of God, because you're in a position of
power and authority in Christ, you have to let the other go.
Because if you're expending all of your energy on all of the negative, you can't stand in
your position as a son of God and benefit them.
So your friends are not being treated.
You know, I'm not making a judgment about the situation.
I have no idea what's going on, but say for instance, that your friends are not being
treated justly, that all kinds of bad things could happen.
Like your friend could be sent back to China, et cetera.
Well, what you can do is if you let go of all of the, of all of the fear, the anxiety,
the distrust, the whatever, all of the negative things, then that leaves all of the good things
that you are feeling, your love for them, your desire for their good and for their benefit
and for the things that you want the Lord to, like the blessings, the reward, the new
direction, the new life, whatever it is that you know that God could have for them and
could be giving them.
You can start calling those things into being from your position of power and authority
in being in Christ, but only if you let the other things go, because the other things
are right now taking precedent.
So by letting them go, not only do you benefit you by shifting into rest, you can now benefit
them.
You can now take all of these things, all of it's a way in which you're able to now
govern creation by governing creation through relationships, which we'll be talking more
about.
I don't know.
And what are the next videos?
Like one or two weeks from now.
Um, and, uh, so, so I just wanted to mention that it's not just you saving yourself from
the fact that you're feeling all these negative emotions, oh, actually I'm not in rest.
You know, what should I do?
Lord?
You know that I'm not in rest.
Well, I need to be in rest.
And you're like, yeah, but there's all of these things that are good about the direction,
um, about why it is that we're feeling the way that we are feeling that way, because
we love these people.
So how can you turn it towards benefiting them?
You have to let go of all of those negative things that are created out of fearing that
God doesn't, isn't going to be good in their lives.
He's not going to do good things.
He's not going to work things out for them.
You know, therefore I need to be afraid.
Therefore I need to kind of control the situation through my worry, through my anxiety, through
my stress or my fear, through my unbelief or whatever will actually, you can, I don't
want to say you can control it, but you can come into agreement with and call certain
things into being that God desires for them.
If you let, if you let all of those other negative things go, so not only do my whole
point is you not only benefit by shifting into rest, you shift yourself into a position
of agreeing with God, you are who you say, who God says that you are, and then are able
to govern creation include in a way that benefits your friend's lives.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, it does.
Yeah.
So I just wanted to, yeah.
Cause the reason I wanted to make sure to thoroughly explain it that way is because
sometimes we can feel, well, wait a minute, isn't, doesn't one of the reasons why we might
not want to like shift into rest as weird as that sounds, especially in situations in
which we think that an unjust, an injustice has been done to someone else is we feel that
it's like letting it go and we're like, yeah, but I care.
What do I do with the fact that I care?
And we want to, and we want to, and so we need to understand that there is something
proactive and honoring that we can do a way that we can honor the fact that we care.
We can honor the fact that the reason that we're feeling that way is I'm not talking
about the fear.
I'm not talking about anger.
I'm not talking about those things.
I'm talking about the love that we have for someone else is because we're like our father.
So what does our father do with love?
What does our father do when he loves us or when he loves, you know, our friends or whatever?
So what does he do with that?
How does he direct it?
How does he use it?
He uses it to benefit them.
And so we want to be like our father.
So how can we, so I just wanted to mention that there's a more of it that they're that
shifting into rest.
Isn't just a letting go of like, as if like, well, I just kind of have to let go of them.
And then they just kind of go on there on their way that we feel like a connection and
we feel that there's something that we want to do.
And I just wanted to mention, there's something you can do that.
You don't have to cut off the connection.
You just by letting go of all of the negativity.
letting go of the unbelief, letting go of the fear.
It's not letting go of the other person.
It's not no longer caring about them.
It is appropriately stewarding the care, the love,
and the connection that you have been entrusted by God with
related to that other person.
Is that helpful?
Yeah, thank you.
You're welcome, you're welcome.
I'm so sorry it's been so hard,
but you never know how the Lord will use that
in their lives because think of how many,
think of how our lives would have been blessed
if things that we've all been through,
in which we felt betrayed, in which we've lost jobs,
or whatever our situation is,
if someone had actually stood in a powerful position
as a son of God and began declaring things.
I mean, imagine what of a difference
that would have made for us
if someone would have actually stood up
in the spirit as an adult
and acted like an adult in this situation,
as opposed to just everybody being afraid
and everybody being feared
and everybody expressing sympathy.
What would have happened if someone would have stood for us
in the gap before the Lord,
in a position of the power and authority that they have
being in Christ?
It would have made a huge difference in our lives.
Even if we didn't know that that was happening.
I mean, just imagine in the spirit realm,
the difference that we know that that would have made.
And we can now be that for someone else.
So yeah.
So does anyone have anything else?
It's so good to see everybody.
Anyone have anything else?
I think you talked about,
or we have talked about, you know, about letting go.
If there's some things in your life
or people in your life that you wanna let go,
you need to like, let go or release them.
But then you're saying it,
but then you're not really releasing it
or not really letting go.
And I think that's a really good point.
You're not really releasing it or not really letting go.
Do you know, have we talked about this
or like how do you truly let go?
So what you're letting go of is you're letting go
of holding something of an unbelief
that we're believing about the Lord.
We're letting go of something that we're idolizing
above God.
Well, we want this relationship or we want this safety
or they want the security or want this semblance
of provision or whatever it is that we've grabbed a hold of.
We want that more than God.
That's what we let go of.
When we let go of like, when I was,
so I don't mean that we have to let go of relationships.
Yeah, sure.
If God tells us to let go of a relationship
and have it be idolized, well, then that's one thing.
But when we're just talking about,
generally speaking, when I'm talking, you know,
when the rest intensive and, you know, rest lifestyle
or whatever, when I'm talking about letting something go,
I'm talking about letting go of an unbelief.
I'm talking about letting go of something
that we're idolizing.
I don't mean that it's that a person is out of our lives.
I mean, sometimes, sure, that's how it manifests.
Let go of something or someone in your life.
How do you?
Oh, how do you let it, how do you let go?
Yeah, I think you mentioned something at some point,
maybe during our coaching session or something like that.
I couldn't really grab a hold of it
because I'm like, in my life,
I'm struggling to let go of a certain relationship
or something that I feel like I need to let go of,
but then I struggle to truly let it go.
And then I was just wondering how to know
how to let go, but I don't know what kind of answer,
how do you truly let go of something?
So I, you know, all of those rest, go ahead.
You were giving it up,
then maybe you were taking it back right away,
or you, yeah.
Okay, so you remember the example that I gave
of the balloon, you know,
you think about like the three realms teaching
and you think of like the red balloon
floating on top of the water.
And remember how I said that it would sink
and it would think that it was the soul
or it would believe its identity was in the body.
Remember how I would say that it would sink?
It sinks because it's grabbing a hold of a weight
outside of it that causes it to respond
or experience a life in which it's sinking,
which is very unlike a balloon to do,
to experience something that's not like
its usual experience.
In other words, a balloon floats, a balloon doesn't sink, but it's sinking.
Why is it doing it?
It's because it's starting to act very unnatural because it's grabbed ahold of
something outside of itself, which is a weight or whatever, and so it starts to sink.
When we as the balloon, Lou is the new man that naturally always believes our father,
that naturally always trusts our father, that naturally never idolizes anything over our
father, that always wants our father more than we want anything else.
When we start to want something else, or we start to have fear, or we start to believe
God's not who he says that he is, that he's not protecting us, he's not going to provide
for us or whatever.
It's like us being a balloon, grabbing a hold of a weight, this unbelief against God,
and it's weighing us down.
So when I'm referring to letting it go, I'm saying we're actively actually holding onto
something that's actually not natural for us.
What's natural for us is to not hold onto anything, but rolling onto something.
So what we're doing is we are just believe it's, um, we are holding onto something as
if we believe that it is going to protect us.
It's going to provide for us.
It's going to make us feel better.
Like say, for instance, a relationship.
If I have this relationship in my life, and if, um, if I have it at a particular importance,
let's say for instance, you and I haven't talked about your mother.
I'm just mentioning your mother, just because it's, it's an easy thing for us to all relate
to a mother, um, you know, and it's a family member that you don't, you know, essentially,
you know, get rid of, you know, because you're connected via blood, even if you don't see
them anymore, you know, you're connected via blood point is you, um, say for instance,
she's, uh, there's, you're too emotionally attached to your mother.
There's something very, very unhealthy there.
And God's like, Hey, you're idolizing your mother above me.
He's not telling you to get your mother, get rid of your mother out of your life.
He's just saying, Hey, look, you were too attached to her.
Her opinion of you matters more than my opinion of you matters.
And I need you to let that go.
He's not telling you to let your mother go and not have her be part of your life.
So what he's telling you to let go of is why are you attached?
So attached to your mother, your tech, you're being attached to her.
And I'm totally making up this story, everybody, but she knows that, but I'm just verifying to
all of y'all kids trying to pick up a story out of nowhere is, um, you're holding on to her
onto a relationship because you're trying to, you feel afraid and you feel that that gives you
safety or that she affirms you.
If her mom thinks well of you, then you know that you're okay for yourself.
God tells you that you're okay, but that doesn't make you feel okay.
But if your mom tells you that you're okay, well, then that makes you feel okay.
That's idolizing your mother's opinion above you.
And God's like, I need you to let that go.
I need you to let go of your emotional dependence on your mother.
You're not believing me.
You're, you're, you're choosing that, that, um, what I'm telling you about you isn't true.
And you're trying to find that semblance of truth in something else.
You're trying to find it in what your mother says about you or what your boss says about
you or, you know, for you as a teacher, what your students say about you or whatever.
Right.
And like, we grab ahold of that.
So it's the importance and, and the meaning that we're giving to that relationship that we need
to let go of.
It's not always that we have to let go of the relationship as if God's like, I want you to
cast that out of your life.
And I never want you to see your mom again.
It's not what he's saying.
He just like that your dependence on her to, to, because you're not believing me,
that's what I need you to let go of.
And I need you to grab ahold of me instead, as far as how to do it, that would be things
like what I was talking about, like the rest shifting tools or the practical shifting tools.
And like, what was that session seven, I believe of different things that you can do.
And, and the reason why I get those tools is for the same reason that you're asking this
question, we're all like, okay, Ashley, I get it.
We're supposed to let go.
Yeah.
But how do I let go?
How do I know I'm holding onto it?
I don't know what that feels like.
And so if you walk yourself through those tools, it's like, it walks you your, your,
it gives your soul an anchor of a way to understand how you're holding onto something
and how to let go of it.
When you don't understand that concept, otherwise, like say for instance you know, I tell people,
Hey if you feel if you feel you know, shame or condemnation, or if you, you know, tell yourself,
okay, Lord, I'm going to choose to believe you that I am, have no reason to be shamed.
And that you tell me that there is therefore now no condemnation.
So I am going to let that shame and condemnation go.
In other words,
I'm going to pretend that I'm holding onto it inside of me.
And now I'm going to choose.
It's almost like you imagine it and you're, or you feel it.
You feel a lump in your throat.
You feel a tightness in your chest.
There's some time, usually some bodily manifestation that you're tight, that
you're holding onto something that you've made yourself small, that you've, that
you've restrained that you're, that you're, that you're feeling restrained or
whatever, and you just tell yourself move in the opposite direction, you're feeling
tight, loosen, you feel you're holding on to something like, like a, I guess if I
was doing this, holding on to something, okay, Ashley, open your hand and let go.
And it's almost like you kind of like imagine yourself walking through it and
you will emotionally and physically feel an opening, feel a release, you'll feel
lighter, and so you, if you walk yourself through those tools, it's a way to help
kind of our soul, tell our soul how to do something that we have a very difficult
time under, um, understanding otherwise, because otherwise let it go.
Just sounds like some nice concept and theory out there that I can't connect
with.
That's why I use tools.
Those tools are not magical.
So once you practice those tools enough, you will become familiar enough with how
to recognize that you're holding onto something that eventually all you'll have
to do is just tell yourself, okay, let that thing go.
And you will immediately let it go.
And you didn't even use a tool because you became familiar enough inside of you
of how to associate, um, of how to recognize that you're holding onto
something and how to command yourself to let it go.
Um, so you just become familiar with it, but until you become familiar with it, I
recommend using those tools because those kind of like help you, um, help kind of
like baby step is into something that we don't understand how to see in ourselves.
How do I notice and note that I'm, that I'm holding onto something, if you feel
heavy, if you've got negative feelings, if you feel tight inside, those are all
indications that you are, um, that you're, uh, holding onto something that you need
to let go, but anyway, back to just do full circle, what it is that we're holding
onto is actually, we're holding onto something kind of like Eve, how she
reached out and grabbed the apple, took it and ate it.
She grabbed a hold of something.
That's what I'm saying.
We need to let go of.
We grabbed a hold of something that we try to use to take care of something that
God said he wanted to take care of for us.
And we're like, no, I'm going to use this relationship to take care of this for me.
I'm going to use money to take care of this for me.
I'm going to use my dependence on food or comfort or whatever
to take care of this for me.
That's the thing we have to let go of anyway.
Did it, um, any of that make sense or answer your question?
Yes, it does.
I'm thinking that whether it's a person, I think for me, it's, it's a person,
it may be a couple of people, but also dreams, you know, they can be dreams
or even things that God spoke to you.
So that's kind of the dualistic feeling that you get because God spoke something
to you or you're in, you're holding onto it and you feel like you should hold onto
it, but then it kind of makes you when it doesn't happen, then that, or if you
have to wait for it for a long time, or so it's, I'm thinking that both when it
comes to people, but also when it comes to dreams or something that God spoke,
how can you, I don't know if we're called to maybe hold things lightly, people that
are in our lives and dreams, if that's what it meant and, and that we so soon in
our flesh start, like you say, grabbing a hold of things, even good things, even
things God spoke to us.
Yes.
Yeah, exactly.
For me, it's like, I don't, I feel like I'm letting things go and I'm saying it
over and over, but then I don't know if I actually have let go.
Yeah.
So three things, first of all, I'm going to be talking about all of that in the very
last session, which is session 13 about gold streams and promises, particularly
promises that God has given us that we haven't seen fulfilled.
What do we do with that?
So, and then, so we'll be talking about that.
Number two, um, what it is that we want to let go of is, is we want to stop holding
God emotional.
We need to stop emotionally holding God accountable to us for something.
In other words, that are how we treat God and how we seek God and how we interact
with God and how we feel about God.
It needs to stop being dependent on what happens.
It needs to be completely unaffected, like how we feel about God and how we feel
about like our.
in him and whether or not we, we love him and whether or not we think he's good,
whether or not we feel he's good, all of those things needs to be completely
unaffected by whatever happens on earth.
We need to stop holding God emotionally.
Remember?
Cause I said, you know, about how we feel.
We need to stop emotionally being dependent in our
relationship with God on what happens.
And so that's another thing.
The third thing that I want to mention is about like promises.
God wants what we're supposed to have faith in is the one who promised and
who he is not in what he promised.
So if God promised something, it'll happen.
We can agree with that.
And we're like, okay, God may it be into me.
Um, in fact, I was visiting with a friend of mine tonight and,
and I'd forgotten that he said this.
He's actually been a mentor of mine.
And he was telling me, um, that, uh, one of the things that he talks about
is the fact that, um, he said, and he was reminding me again tonight.
He said, Ashley, he said, um, that Mary was the perfect way.
Um, how did you put that?
He said, uh, Mary handled what the promise that she was given by God.
In other words, the seed she was given by God, literally the seed of Jesus
himself that was placed in her, excuse me, it was handled by God.
Uh, she handled it in the best way that we possibly can.
And we need to learn from her.
He said, because she said, Lord, may what you said the end to me.
So in other words, you're just coming into agreement with the word.
You're simply coming to agreement and the word will produce the work.
We don't have to do any work.
The word will produce it.
All we have to do is to say, okay, God, if you say that that's what's going to
happen, then I choose that that's what's going to happen.
I come into complete agreement with it, but in the meantime, Lord, what it is.
And I'm having faith in isn't the manifestation of the thing isn't watching
and waiting and, um, for the thing to happen.
And then I'll know that you meant it.
No, no, no.
It's who is the God who promised that that's what I have faith in.
You know, who does he say that he is?
Well, he's goodness and he's love and he's, you know, whatever.
Who, because the promise is basically just is something is given to us because
God is trying to express something about himself in terms that we understand.
Because the promise is something that's like, oh, that we value that we, like
all of these dreams that you have, that you're holding before him or these
dreams that he's given you, and you're like, okay, God, you say that all
of these are really good things.
So what kind of a God does that make him?
If he would give you dreams like that, if he would say that those
things are going to happen, then all my word, it makes him a good God.
It means that he really loves me.
It means that he's really that great.
It means that he's really that grand.
That's what God wants us to focus on.
Not how wonderful this thing is and how much we want it, but rather what is that
thing that God's expressed saying about him, the whole point is for us to always
be thinking about what that was, that promise is saying about God, not about
how badly we want the promise, because our problem in focusing on the promise
instead of the one who promised is that we can start using that gift of the
promise against God and accusation.
We can start taking this beautiful gift that he gave us and use
it as a weapon against him.
And we can't do that.
So anyway, those three things I would say to that, is that helpful?
Yeah, that's really good.
Thank you.
Okay.
You're welcome.
Does anyone have anything else?
All right.
I'm looking at something over here.
Yeah, Kate.
Hi.
Um, uh, things have actually been really good.
Um, I think in just the last few days, I've just had this overwhelming feeling
of like discontentment that I'm just always waiting for something to happen.
Like, and it could be along the same lines of what you're talking about
with, um, process of the Lord, just like, just anticipation of something's going
to happen, like, or I'm wanting something different to happen other than just the
mundane, and I don't know, I don't know what this, where discontentment comes
from, or is it because the word's like, I'm not allowing the Lord just to
satisfy just the needs of my heart and just like that he's enough every day.
And so, and so sometimes I can not like shame or condemnation, but like, I can
go into like, well, what's wrong with me that what I have.
is not enough or where I'm at in life is not enough. I don't know if you could just speak to
any of that. Yes. No, I completely understand. It's been in the same place and in that place
in certain areas of my life. And what I've learned is that it's very important to receive what it is
that we've been given from the Lord as a gift and be like, okay, Lord, I receive what you've
given me as you being good to me. And so I appreciate it and I love it. And I thank you.
We're so afraid that if we're, if we're grateful and content with what we have, that God's like,
good, that's great. Now that you're happy, I'm going to go be give the squeaky wheel, the grease.
We've been taught that to get something out of God, we've got to be unhappy.
In other words, we had to be squeaky and it's just not true. And so what God wants us to do
is he's like, Hey, I want you to risk before I can give you something else. I need to know that
I can trust you to receive what I've given you. So receive it. So anyway, so I've learned to just
receive what it is he's given me as a good gift from a good father, expressing his love for me.
Then in doing that, you're just, what you're doing is you're allowing yourself to enjoy the goodness
of God because you're not, it's because the whole point isn't, isn't being just happy enough with
all of these material things or all of these experiences or whatever. It's not the thing.
What you're saying is, Oh my goodness, Lord, you're this good. I appreciate you being this
good to me. Oh my goodness, Lord, this is such a gift. You're, you're basking in and enjoying
the, what you're experiencing at the manifestation of his character, more than really you're actually
enjoying the thing itself. Your whole focus is on just receiving what it is you've been receiving
is actually being God's goodness. That's what you're enjoying. It's not the thing itself.
It's not the experience. Sure. You can enjoy that too, but your whole point of it is you
enjoying God and God's like, excellent. Then I'll give you more of me and I'll give you
other expressions, et cetera. God doesn't stop and say, okay, well, thankfully you're content now.
Okay. And now, and now, you know, you know, I'm not going to give you anything,
you know, and move and change anything until you're unhappy again. No, we don't have to worry
about that. So now that we have all of that straight in that, in that situation, you can
still anticipate. You can still always be looking forward because remember everything in the spirit
is always moving. So things are never static. They're never the same. And that includes your
life. That includes how it's manifesting into your physical environment, physical, you know,
situation that you're living out. So, so therefore it's okay. It's, it's wonderful
to receive what it is that we have and where it is that we are as a beautiful, wonderful gift of
God's goodness and his provision and his love and his safety and all of those things. But knowing
that kind of like keeping your hands in the river, this is just what you're experiencing of God right
now. So you're not holding on to it. And you're also not resigned to it. Like, well, I guess this
is all that this is. No, no, no. Just be full of expectation. Okay, Lord, what's going to happen
next? Or what do you and I together Lord want to move into next? What do, what I'd like to ask you
for? What are some dreams of mine? Like Renata was talking about, what are some dreams of mine?
And you can be expectant. You can anticipate without using expectation and anticipation
and accusation against God. And why hasn't it happened yet? You'd be content with what it is
you, where with the goodness of God, that you are feeling like that you are allowing yourself to
experience, um, and, uh, what he's manifested. And when you do that, you'll just feel open.
In other words, you will, um, you'll feel everything will put that it's almost like everything. But if
you just open yourself like that, to just live, to just live in an experience and receive what it
is of God that you've been given, you're naturally in a posture of openness. So you'll feel anticipatory
if that's a word that feels like it's a word. So we're going with it.
I was green English. You can break the rules if you know that. So I'm just kidding. So you just,
you can feel, you can feel an anticipation. You can feel an excitement. You can feel a desire for
more because God put that in you, because that's a characteristic of him. There's always more.
There's always stretching. There's always something else. There's always change. There's
always something new that is in his character. So we placed it within creation. And so therefore you
having that kind of like always forward falling posture is Godly. That's a, so that's not an
aspect of you need to squelch. You just never need to use the future or anticipation or excitement or
expectation.
and in accusation against him.
Is that helpful?
Yeah, I think even before this class,
for me anyway, there was a lot of emphasis
on like, what's broken, we're coming from survival mode,
we've got to fix all things.
And now that so much of that has been released,
then it's like, and that's great.
But then like, there's nothing wrong
and there's nothing broken, but then you're like,
well, then what do we look to?
And forward thinking, being excited about those things,
but then a restlessness can come in of like,
how come it's not happening now?
Or how come we're not there now?
Where's the significance around me?
And what are we doing then?
So it was just this weird like looming thing of discontent
and I was like, what is this?
It was just kind of out of the blue.
No, and you're right,
that's actually a very normal part of the process.
That's where people would be.
And that's what the meaning that I created
in the rest lifestyle is like when I created this program
and what I did is, see used to the rest intensive
used to be all 13 sessions.
And what I decided to do because I had gotten feedback
that it was just too much,
that it's just like, oh, it's just too much.
So what I thought is, okay,
I'll divide it into just helping people
under shift their paradigm to a new possibility,
a new perspective, a new approach, a new life,
a new, I didn't do just a freedom that they could step into.
Okay, that's all great.
But then what happens after that?
Finally, everyone's like, okay,
life is not how I thought that it worked.
So now how do I live?
I know now how to shift into that.
I now hear and see and receive and agree
with where it is that I am,
but I don't know how to live from here.
And it creates a, in your words, a discontent.
There's a like, okay, but now what?
You know, I feel that there's all this possibility,
but towards what?
And so that's what this is all about.
That's what the sessions eight through 13 are all about,
are the, now what?
We're meant to govern.
So, you know, we're meant to govern creation.
So how do we step into that, et cetera?
So this whole rest lifestyle,
even though people can ask questions about, you know,
well, how do you shift into rest and all of that,
you know, in certain situations,
the whole point of this is, yeah,
but how do you, is to show people and give people an idea
of what we can expect to grow into and live,
like, okay, why are we here?
We're here, I mean, in other words, why are we in rest?
Why are we one with him?
From that place, what do we do?
We govern.
So my whole point is to just kind of like,
just kind of like set that up about like,
that's where it is that we are.
But, you know, it's like, again,
we're, when we're seeking the Lord,
when you're kind of like, okay, okay, Laura,
I'm going to receive that you've given,
I'm going to receive that you've given me
where it is that I am and what it is that you've given me
as being a good gift from a good father
and you expressing your goodness.
And I love that.
And I received that, but remember how I said,
you kind of have like this forward leaning posture now
and kind of like, okay,
I feel like there should be something new.
I'm anticipating the next thing.
Well, how do we like start moving
so that we don't just sit there.
We actually do move into the new thing.
That is where we're asking God,
where we're coming into agreement with God that,
okay, God, you've already given me everything,
but what have you given me?
What does it mean?
And what's its purpose?
And how do I use it?
The whole baby with the arms,
the baby is born with all his arms and legs
and brain and all of that.
Sorry, that's Moses.
He was barking.
It's a very biblical hassle.
We've got Samson the parrot and Moses the dog.
But then we have Bella the pit bull.
It started, well, yeah, she's a pit bull.
So I don't, she's the oddball out.
But anyway, so if there is this,
we come into agreement with the fact that,
okay, God, you've already given me everything.
Okay, Lord, that's wonderful.
I'm coming to you, not declaring you to be a liar.
I'm coming to you agreeing that you are who you say
that you are, but who is that?
And who am I?
So, but we are already coming.
The reason it makes all the difference
is we're saying by faith first,
God, we're saying it's true.
And we're saying, Lord,
that we're going to receive it unconditionally.
We're receiving it, Lord, before we know what it is.
So that makes all the difference.
That approach to God makes all the difference.
And now we're just waiting for,
but we're still in the same place that we were before
from a certain perspective,
like where we were calling God a liar.
And the fact that we're like, okay, God, but what now?
So we're still waiting on seeing,
in other words, it's still an unknown,
but this perspective is coming at it from it,
coming and approaching God from the perspective
that we believe him.
And now, Lord, reveal to us the unknown, as opposed to, Lord, we don't know, now show
me what the unknown is.
And God's like, oh, no, no, no, no, that's not how it works.
I need you to agree with me first and to choose it.
We're still in a manner, in a way of speaking, in the place of the unknown, but it makes
all the difference in the world coming from the place of agreement because now God's like,
because you've agreed with me first, I'll reveal to you the unknown.
I couldn't reveal to you the unknown because you called me a liar, but the fact that you
are calling me, the fact that you are agreeing with me and the fact that you were having
faith in me first, before you know what the unknown is going to be, now I can entrust
you with revealing to you the answer to the unknown.
So anyway, that's how we step into that.
It's like, okay, God, what have you given me?
You say you've given it to me and I agree.
Okay, I already have it.
I'm not waiting on you to transact it to me.
I'm not in lack.
I'm in abundance.
Okay.
What do I have?
I have it.
I agree, but what is it?
So in the end, he's going to reveal more.
And so that's that, that's that anticipation that you have, and that's a really good thing.
And so that, that aspect of like still feeling that there is an unknown, that is a hallmark
honestly of our relationship with God and quite honestly will be for eternity because
God values mystery.
The mystery of God won't go away.
So we can just all relieve ourselves of that.
He'll just reveal more and more and more, but there's always an aspect of mystery in
God and it's not him hiding himself from us because we're unworthy.
It's him showing value, it's him putting value on it and him not valuing is in like withholding
it from us because it's so valuable, but he calls it a good thing for us to, he said,
what does he say?
He said, it is the honor of Kings to uncover a thing or something like that.
In other words, to seek the treasure and to actually uncover it.
And so he values it.
So we have to learn to value it as opposed to what the world has always taught us of
like mystery is a bad thing.
Darkness is the bad thing.
You know if, if God doesn't, if God doesn't show it to you and if you don't know, well
then you must not be favored and God must be mad at you.
And God says, no, mystery is the good thing.
So anyway, so this whole aspect of unknown, we have been taught to feel unsafe in and
what we have to do instead is have to have to receive, we feel unsafe and we're taught
that it's not valuable and God's just like, no, no, no, trust it and believe and value
it before you see it, value it before I reveal it to you and then I can entrust you with
the revelation.
Does that make sense?
Anyway.
Yeah.
Good.
So does, I don't even know what time it is.
Okay.
I don't know if we have time for more questions, but I do start somewhere, although so, so
much of what you were saying about anticipation, I feel like it's like, that's a word that's
involved in this question, but in a different way, but there's probably like 40 questions
in one here.
So I know it's loaded for the end of the night.
However, maybe we can just start somewhere and see, because God always uses you and,
you know, breaks the ice at least.
And so I feel like what I'm doing is I'm like, I'm in, I'm in a place where I'm anticipating
like in a relationship with God, wanting to know him, wanting to obey him, wanting to
seek him, wanting to like do what he told me to do, even just very personally, the words
that he's given me over the season of my life, but I'm doing it from a place of, or through
a lens of like pain and trauma that is so like impacting the way that I'm viewing how
he's going to do this thing.
So essentially he's told me and like cleared my entire, you know, schedule, my entire life
had me stop my business, my ministry, my job, no, my husband's switching his job so we can
afford to live on one income, kind of like setting the stage for this season.
That's so climactic in a way it's like, I know that I've been living in a way that can't
be sustained.
And that is physically manifesting, you know, health issues and where I feel a level of
anxiety and fear and things like that over the past trauma that I can't keep living with
all these things that are affecting me in so many ways.
But I also, I don't want to put this like anticipation on what this has to look like
as if, okay, it's gotta be intense.
It's gotta be heavy.
Like we've got to hit this, this pain and healing stuff hard and God wants me to grieve
and he told me to grieve.
So it has to look painful and it's going to be really hard.
It's like, I don't want to anticipate it the way I am to be so hard all the time.
And I feel like I'm bracing when I don't want to be bracing because I'm viewing it through.
pain isn't like wanted. I don't want pain. Right. And pain's not a great sign because it means
there's stuff that really needs healed. And that's kind of embarrassing in a way or shameful.
And so there's like this toxic shame underneath it. That's has me every day wondering, okay,
how do I do this with you? God, here I am. Like, here's my schedule completely cleared,
but it feels so painful and heavy all the time that it doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel like
how you want me, like, where's the joy? Where's the laughter? Where's the playfulness? Like,
how do we do this to where there's balance and not just heavy pain all the time?
Excellent question. Okay. So remember that if we're supposed to do everything in rest,
that includes healing. So the healing is not for you to do. It's not your next project that God's
given you that you have to accomplish. So, um, so that is what makes it so hard. I mean, yes,
there's, there's the whole thing of like grieving that if that's painful, I'm, I'm, I'm not negating
that. Yeah. There is pain that comes up, et cetera. But what I'm talking about is I'm talking
about this other thing that you're talking about. You're talking about like this, Lord,
just this whole process. I understand the pain that's going to come up that I have to deal with,
that I have to heal from that. But Lord, there's this whole thing about like the actual process
itself that just feels heavy. It feels like there's this struggle to struggle. So to speak,
there's just this, this heaviness in the, in, in the, in the healing. And, um, so that lets us
know that we're actually holding on to that. We're actually taking,
how do I put that without like making it sound,
sound different. Um, we are taking on the responsibility, if you will, the burden,
the weight and the responsibility of the healing of accomplishing the healing of whatever. So God
will do that. He just wants us to make ourselves available and not resistant because God, because
like what we were talking about earlier, God sends the word out and the word will just,
will do its work. So if he says that you're healed, if he says that he brings healing by
his stripes, et cetera, then he will do all of that work. And he's actually already set up your
body and your soul and your spirit to know how to do it themselves without you even consciously
being part without you consciously having to walk them through it or know how to do it or
micromanage them or whatever. But what you have to do is to not be in resistance. And so anyway,
so the thing is like, say for instance, you've got this whole schedule cleared. So your project
is not to try to heal yourself is not to try to, okay, what's the next thing that I can focus on
and look at and whatever. Sure. There might be times where God says, Hey, I want you to sit down
and journal things. Or maybe for instance, I don't know if you are, but let's say for, I'm just
making some notes. Let's say that you're going to a therapist then. I'm so sorry. This is important.
Um, uh, sorry, this is my, um, my nephew, uh, my one-year-old nephew and they just,
they took him to the ER. I just have to make sure he's okay.
Take your time. Yeah. I'm sorry. Oh, okay. Well, no. Okay. Oh my God. All right. Yeah. Okay. Sorry.
Like I said, he's that one year old and they just took him to the emergency room because they've all
been very sick and he kind of like he's one year old. So you're trying to figure out what's going
on. I think that he just became non-responsive and he it's like he blacked out or whatever.
And they didn't know what was wrong. The pediatrician said, take him to the emergency
room. And so they're telling us what's going on. So, um, anyway, um, I've already, I've already
spent time praying over him. I was getting the update. Um, so sorry for the interruption. Um,
okay. So I think this is where I left off. So you make yourself available, et cetera.
And so sure there's say for instance, you are going to see a therapist right now, um, during
this time. Well then if your therapist gave you homework, like, Hey, by the way, you need to
journal like five minutes every day and you need to be walking through, you know, your feelings or
whatever. Sure. Do that, do that project. And, um, you can do stuff like that, but that's not all you
have to do. God wants you to choose who it is that you actually are, which is the spirit, which is
whole, which is joyful, which is peace. So those are things you can actually act on. Now you don't
have to only act on trying to fix your soul and your body. You need to stand in who it is that you
are and you have permission and an invitation by God to be that now. So, um, and I'm not saying
anything that you don't feel like you can do and that you're struggling with because you haven't
healed in that area yet. I'm just talking about if you want to have fun, go have fun, do it for
five minutes, do it for half a day, do it for a whole day.
Whatever.
It doesn't all have to, your life does not have to now be a project in which you're healing
in which you are trying to figure it out in which you are, whatever you will heal faster.
The more that you just kind of choose that you are who God says that you are, let God
bring up the hard stuff, but God bring up what needs to be dealt with and all of the
unbelief and all of the pain and all of the fear, let him bring those things up when he
wants to.
Again, I'm not negating the fact that you might have certain times of day that you choose
between you and the Lord or your therapist or whatever, to set aside and like do a project
that'll help you kind of like process through stuff.
Sure.
I'm not negating that.
I'm just saying it can be more than that.
I'm assuming that you're talking about viewing your whole life from the time that you were
there your whole day, from the time you wake up to the time you go to bed, it's like this
project of like, I, my focus time right now in this time of my life is to focus on healing.
And God's like, no, did you ever think about the fact that I wanted to just for you to
just focus on making yourself available for me to heal you to set aside this time, very
purposefully I'm presenting yourself to me and I'm just letting you know I'm going to
use this time in which to heal you as opposed to him giving you a project that he wanted
you to do.
It's just more like, Hey, I'm notifying you that this is a season.
This is a season.
And I'm just telling you ahead of time, this is healing.
This is rest.
This is whatever.
Um, but as opposed to like him giving you a task or something that he's looking at you
as a task master over your shoulder, wanting you to accomplish something.
And you're like, I want to be a good student.
I want to use this.
I want to steward this time.
And I don't mean this in a condemning way.
I'm, I'm wanting to say this in a way of freedom.
I said that, I think that you are, um, uh, you know, that you're just that you were actually
getting in the way of your own healing.
And I say that for freedom.
That is not for condemnation at all.
I think you've, you've been with me two years.
You understand how I talk.
I am saying that you don't, your life doesn't have to be this hard.
Your healing process does not have to feel this heavy.
You don't have to carry that responsibility of feeling this heavy.
Does that make sense?
How I'm trying to say it is that as bad as it feels it, your, um, you actually are not
being required by God to feel that heavy and to carry.
It's not, it's not a backpack of rocks that God is requiring you to pick up every day
that you wake up.
That's what I'm trying to say.
That's why I'm saying you're not condemned for having carried the backpack.
It's free because you can let the backpack down.
You can take it off.
That's all I'm trying to say.
So, um, I think that, and that's why I'm saying, I think you're getting in, in your own way.
I'm not saying that, you know, to get onto, I'm saying that as in like, Hey, what you're
doing as hard as that is kept what, guess what?
You don't have to do it anymore.
You have permission to stop.
You know, you're not being made to do it because the only reason you're doing it is you feel
like you're being made to, you feel like you have to, you feel like this is what's required.
You feel like the teacher said so.
And so God wants to say, Hey, no, no, you know what?
You can do that if you want to, I'll still be with you, but I gave you permission to
put it down.
If you want, you don't have to.
And my whole point is that by doing that, I think you'll heal faster.
So all the hardness is actually what's making the, you feeling it so heavy and you feeling
it so hard is actually what's making it harder.
So if you stop feeling it so hard, it'll stop being so hard and that's how you can give
it to yourself.
Does that make sense?
No, it totally makes sense.
It feels right because I'm going, man, with everything that I'm learning about rest and
about who God really is and who I am, but then this, this feeling that I'm living with
every day that it doesn't add up and the heaviness and the lack of clarity on how to go about
the healing.
It doesn't add up.
And I know that in the middle of that was a season of like trials that threatened to
trigger every deepest trauma and pain.
And so it was almost like, because I was surviving through that, I came back to this with this
heaviness to what he told me because I was in that lens of like, everything's painful
and just bracing myself for that.
But I didn't want to, but I did anyway.
Just thinking this, this is the only way I know how to get through.
And then.
And then when it came back to kind of normalcy in a way of like,
I'm not in the crisis, I'm not in the emergency.
Then it's like, Hey, then why am I still feeling this crappy?
Yeah.
Um, people live, uh, Oh, I wish I could remember how it's phrased that, um, uh,
people with that, uh, can develop basically like that chronic stress or that chronic
anxiety, they, they don't know they've lived so long with it.
They don't know how to live life without it.
Um, and, uh, Oh, there's something else I was going to say.
Um, when you were talking about, um, all of that, I wish I could remember what it
was, cause it was something encouraging, but I don't remember, but, um, Oh, shoot.
What was it?
Uh, Oh, well, you were saying, you know, that you, it's almost like you're
waiting, always waiting for the other shoe to, for other shoe to drop.
Um, Oh, that's what it was.
That's what I was going to say.
You were saying that you're bracing yourself and remember that it's usually
the drunk people that survived their car crash on the joint people cause a car
crash.
It's usually the drunk people that survive.
Why?
Cause they didn't brace because when brace everything becomes rigid and
you are more likely to get hurt.
People die more by being rigid.
And you think that you're trying to protect yourself, but actually, um,
they, they say that generally speaking, because drunk people are more, are not,
are more vulnerable and they're not bracing themselves and their inhibitions
are down, their inhibitions are down.
Then they have, um, then they have a tendency to survive because
you're not bracing.
In other words, they're flexible.
So just remember that God will protect you.
We're so used to going into situations, thinking that we have to be hyper
vigilant because if we're not, we're not, we're not, um, what's the word?
Um, we're not going to, we're going to be defenseless and
therefore we're going to be hurt.
But that's depending on ourselves to protect ourselves instead
of trusting in God to do it.
Case in point, God said that if you go before a, um, uh, that he said, you
know, if you were called before they had Sanhedrin or the high court or whatever
you said, he said, do not prepare.
You said the Holy spirit will reveal what you need to say and we'll
fill your mouth, you know, when it's needed, that is going into a situation,
full blown vulnerability of like, I'm not prepared because in God said very
specifically do not prepare and rely on me, rely on me as your source.
So he was saying, don't depend on yourself in order to, um, for, uh, to
constantly try to, I don't know, just be vigilant and like watch out for, um,
expecting and see that's the problem.
Expecting a demon under every rock.
It's because even the new agers know this when we, when we, when we anticipate
something, because human beings, the human soul has such, uh, how would I put
that creation has been, has been created to respond to a human soul.
And so when a human soul sends out intention that it expects negativity,
it attracts the negativity.
It's, and that's not a new age concept.
It's just that the new agers happen to understand that it actually is a truth.
So it's the same thing in the spirits, but spirit always talks about, Hey, I
was thinking about the good things.
So we think about positive things, et cetera.
So the thing is, if we're always anticipating something bad and we're
always trying, we're trying, we're using that to try to prepare ourselves so
that we'll be safer when, and if it happens.
And then some people can take it into a very twisted way, like, um, a very
close family member of mine that I asked one time, why are you so worried all the
time?
Why do you worry?
Um, you use it kind of like a shield and they said, well, my mother told me one
time, um, many, many years ago, this was like this, uh, this, you know, person
that's like decades old.
And they said, well, my mother told me, um, once that, uh, that if you worry,
it won't happen if you, so they developed this sense of self-protection by worrying
that was their shield.
So anyway, you can get really corrupt and twisted and, and, um, do it that way.
But, um, um, so anyway, is, is all of this kind of like helpful?
Yeah.
And the Lord reminded me of like the birth process and just how, I mean, when I had
my home birth, which was opposite my first birth in the hospital, it was all about
not, I mean, I was just expanding and imagining my cervix expanding like a
flower.
Like there was like, if I resisted, it was going to hurt so much worse.
So, yeah.
And what you focus on expands too.
And so it makes total sense.
Yeah, exactly.
Um, let's see, I keep thinking of things when you're talking and then, and then
they, I, they escaped me, um, after, uh, when it's, um, when there's silence,
but anyway, so good.
Oh, that's what I was going to say.
Okay.
So to kind of like summarize.
or give you something that you can do, I recommend instead of thinking, instead of, this is it,
instead of identifying this time of your life, this season, or whatever, as he is, like this,
back that you're going to be going through this, this struggle, and this suffering in order to
heal. Think of it more as like you are being freed. This is a time of rest. But remember,
you are being freed. God is going to free you, is freeing you during this time. The shackles are
coming off. In other words, you're just going to become lighter. So you can just be aware of it.
Okay, apparently I'm going to become lighter. This is a time of rest for me. But as far as
like getting up, and I actually, and so you're just aware of that. Okay, this is what God has
said about this season. But what I would recommend, and this helped, this changed everything for me,
is when I got up every day, not seeing it as a project, it was something that I had to do really
good at. But actually rather, okay, you know, just getting up out of bed and choosing, okay,
who does God say that I am? And just in just viewing life from this perspective of positivity,
of hopefulness, of my word, I'm in, I'm in Christ, I'm in a position of power and authority.
I am a king. I'm all of these great, you know, all of these great meaning like freeing,
love-filled, Christ-filled things, all my word, how do I want to live life today?
It's all from this very positive perspective of what do I want to do? In other words, what kind
of a life do I want to create? I'm not saying, well, I want to become a singer, and I want to do
this, and I want to have this, and I make these things happen. I don't mean that. I mean, you as
a son of God, how, what kind of a life do you want to create? I'm going to create one of joy.
I'm going to create one in which I am allowing the love that is in me to come up and bubble up
out of me into my interactions with other people, into other things that I do, other, I don't know,
interactions that I have with other things in my life, loving working in my business, or loving
working in my ministry, or enjoying learning something new, or in other words, instead of
responding, reacting, and being a victim to whatever happens to come at me today, instead
choosing, no, no, okay, this is the day I get to live. I am me, and I'm actually making positive,
forward motion, progressive decisions between me and God about what we're going to do. Think of it
from this very positive perspective of every morning you wake up, and you discover more
clearly how to live God's truth, as opposed to, oh my goodness, today I've got to go through a lot
of struggle in order to face all of my pain, and face all the lies that I believed about God, and
then change into belief, and on my right, God says that, you know, what it is that he's put in your
soul, and your body, and your spirit automatically knows how to do that, and he's going to take you
on the own journey, on your own journey. If he brings stuff up where stuff is like triggered,
and prompted, and wants you to face it, face it, release it all to God in that moment, you know,
and you know how to do all of that, but that's not a project for you to pick up as a backpack
of rocks every day. Instead, you get up, and you live, oh my word, who am I? Who does he say that I am?
And then you go make breakfast like that, and you go take a shower like that. You go take a
shower as that person. You make breakfast as that person. You decide to phone a friend as that person.
You, I don't know, go to the grocery store as that person. You clean the house as that person.
You do whatever the heck you want to do. You sit on the couch and whatnot, not to watch Netflix as
that person. Whatever the heck you want to do, you know. I think, believe that God is good.
Wake up every day choosing, my God is good. If God is that good, what do I want to do today,
and who am I, and live life from that positively. Does that help? Yeah, that helps so much. Thank you
so much. Do you have a question Renata? I couldn't tell if you're removing your hands. Oh yeah, I was
actually, this is really good. I was just thinking that you said something about to not know how to
live without stress. I think that was interesting. Oh, that some people, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because it's
been, I don't know if they just, because I feel like sometimes I don't know how to live without
stress, because there's been, and I've burnt out several times, and I don't know how to,
that's kind of safety in a way, that you're stressed, and it's just kind of who you are,
and you're always busy, always stressed, and almost kind of like a state, and you don't know
how to live without it, and you just mentioned it, so I thought if you could elaborate on it,
or I don't know, because obviously I don't want to.
I think I'm realizing right now that I want out of this and I'm actually living in stress
and I wasn't fully aware of it because I'm so used to it, to it for many years and, and
what do I, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, one of the things is that it's important to not identify ourselves as that and to as
someone who is high stressed or as always feeling that way is always feeling heavy,
always feeling pulled, always feeling restrained, always feeling, you know, whatever.
And that's another thing that came to mind.
So we don't definitely don't want to identify it.
And here's the other thing.
We don't want to value it.
So a lot of times we value it because we think that it's stress that not only protects us.
So there's that, but there's also this thing of like stress is what high performers have.
But if I want to get anywhere, if I want anything positive, yeah, if I went, yeah, busy people
are important people and busy people get stuff done and busy people actually get what
they want.
It's bogus, you know?
I mean, well, I mean, I say it's bogus.
I mean, it, it isn't, it's bogus in the kingdom.
You can get that to work in the, in the world, but that's, that's sweat.
It's a lot of hard work.
If y'all want to live like that, that's fine.
I don't, I don't want to, I don't want to live.
I want a higher, higher quality of life than getting what I want because I stressfully
worked for it through sweat.
I have tried that.
And I'm telling you what, I was not satisfied when I got what I wanted, it just, it just
didn't satisfy.
I didn't have the word.
So I gave it all up to live from a place of rest.
And then all of a sudden my, my life opened up more and I became even more quote unquote
successful.
And the fact like I felt successful, I felt like I'm a son, I'm a king.
I don't mean that the world thinks of me as successful because trust me, they don't.
I mean, you know, you know how it is, you know, Jesus says that a prophet is respected
everywhere except in his own hometown, you know?
So a lot of people who know me, they just don't, they may not think they like me, but
they don't know what to think of what it is that I do, because I don't feel successful.
Ashley, you've got no house you had, you know, do you have no, whatever, all of these milestones
that they think you should hit by my age.
And then for a while I had never dated and I wasn't married, you know, and all kinds
of things.
So there were, I didn't tick all of their boxes.
So I don't, I don't look successful to other people, but for me, I feel like, Oh my word,
I'm finally satisfied.
Oh my word.
This is what it is.
I chose the quality of life over that other quality, that other lower, what I felt was
lower quality of life where I was just stressed in order to, and then I just worked for specific
stuff.
So anyway, it's not that it doesn't work, but you have to work a lot harder for it.
And, and it all, it all turns to ash in the end.
Anyway, it all burns as wood, hay and stubble, and it doesn't carry over into eternity.
The other carries over into eternity because it transforms the old earth into the new earth.
And it transforms flesh into spirit, and it actually changes creation.
It's B, it's ruling as a King, it's ruling as a son, it's, it's stepping into freedom
and then freeing everything else.
You know, it's that, and it's stepping into freedom because someone else died for you.
And now it's you dying for the rest of creation that it might step into, that it might step
into freedom.
But anyway, but yeah, some people just live with that hyperstate of vigilance, of stress,
of anxiety, and it can just, it can just become, I don't know, just, it can just become chronic
and people can not only identify with it, you know, and think that it's so valuable
that they don't want to give it up because they feel that they're losing who it is that
they are.
It's weird as that sounds.
I know people who identify so much with being a victim that when they have blatantly been
given the opportunity, oh, I'll just mention who, well, I won't mention who it was, but
my sister who's in the rest intensive, she's not in this one, but she's like in the big
Facebook group, Audra Holsworth.
She was visiting with somebody that she and I know that she and this other person used
to commiserate with and be like, oh my word, life is so hard.
They would go, they were depressed together.
And by that, I literally mean that they were both going through depression on major medication
for years, like at least a decade, if not two, I mean, like, anyway, like one, maybe
a decade, decade and a half, something like that.
Anyway, they were going through all of this stuff and oh my word, they call each other
all the time and commiserate about how awful they felt and isn't this awful that life is
like this.
And this is what's happening with kids and this is what happening with, I don't know,
my husband, this is what happening with whatever.
And they would just, they would feed each other's horrible and affirm each other's
victim state.
Well, my sister, the Lord finally like worked on her heart through, I don't know, just revealing
things to her.
And the fact that I was, she was watching me change and then she would, she would feel
my love for her.
And like, I just had loved and accepted.
where it is that she was, but my life was looking more free, but I was accepting and loving her
where she was. And I wasn't requiring her to change. In fact, I didn't tell her what it
is that I thought or give her any advice unless she asked for it. And that caught her attention
that I was happy and I was changing and she was unhappy, but I never preached to her or anything.
So she finally thought, okay, I'm going to hear Ashley, what this whole rest intensive is about
and what it is you teach other people. Cause I don't understand how you could let grow up in
the same household that I do and that I did and know something different. So she didn't think it
would work anyway. So she joined the rest intensive, her life totally changed. And she's like,
all my word. I didn't know. It's like, all of a sudden the Bible opened up to her God.
She said the Trinity showed up with her in the shower. She says she prayed to the Lord in a new
way for the first time. And she said, God, the father, God, the son of God, the Holy spirit all
showed up. And she's like, and she says, she, the way she relates it is she says,
hi, she just kind of like told everybody. Oh, hi. Anyway. So it just changed her life. She began
living in all of this freaking mix. She then went though. My point in telling you the story is it
changed her so much. She then went and told our friend, she said, oh my word, I have, you know,
things are changing. You know, you, I didn't realize that, you know, life could be like this.
I've read the Bible my whole life, but I'd never understood that this other, that this is what it
meant. And now I see it in the Bible and she's, and she told our, my friend, she said, will you
please come into the rest intensive with me? And she just used that because I was the only person
that she knew that was talking like this now, but you know, and she just knew I had a program where
I like taught it and where she could be in a community with other people who were doing it too.
So it's not like I'm the only one who teaches this or anything, but I'm somebody that they
both knew. So she's like, Ashley, she said, you know, someone said, you've got to join this
program. She said, do it with me. And here's the reason that she gave, she said, she said,
because so-and-so and I'll call her Jane, her name is not Jane, but she said, she said, Jane,
she said, I'm changing. She said, I am no longer where you currently are. And I don't want to leave
you there alone because she had, she and my, and our friend had been, had kept each other company
in the pit and she had found a way out and she was living in freedom. And she turned back on
her friend. She said, I don't want to leave you alone. Will you please, will you please hear
Ashley out? And will you please, you know, hear this message of the gospel, et cetera. She was a
Christian and everything, but she's like, will you please hear this new thing? And my friend said,
no. And the reason is, and I know my friend very well for decades, because she identified as a
victim. That was how she valued herself. She did not think that she had any value outside of being
attacked and oppressed and for life being hard. She, she identified herself in that to the point
where she felt like she would lose who she was and she would lose her significance and value
in other people's eyes. And and I don't know, maybe to herself and she wouldn't know who she
was if she wasn't a victim anymore. And so she said, no. So, so anyway, it's fine. And she's
just one example. So I know people that can identify as a victim that can identify in high
stress and this, that high stress is a totally different, you know, like scenario than like the
victim, but in high stress, or you can identify in these things so much where it becomes so
important to you and so entrenched in how you see yourself that in order to choose God, you
feel like you're completely lose your sense of being. And so anyway, it's very similar to Jesus
talking about a wealthy people and talking about how hard it was for wealthy people to enter the
kingdom. It's not impossible. It's just that there is so much that they have identified with that
they now have to let go of. And he says that is very hard to do once you're that entrenched.
So anyway, so is that helpful? Yes. Thank you. You're welcome. Well, it's good to get to visit
with everybody. I think, yeah, it's 1022. So go to bed, but it's good to see everyone. If y'all
have any questions, just feel free to put them in the chat. I, I realized today that I thought that
I had responded to people and put in who had put in a journey shares this week. And I was looking
through them, I think last night before I made my trip here. And I thought, and I couldn't find my
comments because I always make sure I like literally try to answer every single post that
it gets posted in that group. And I was like, I can't find my responses. Did I have dreamed this
up? So I apologize. I didn't realize that I hadn't answered you people though, because I listened and
watched and read all of them.
So I will go and comment on them and answer any questions that are in there, but it's good to see everyone and I'm going to open up another.
The next teaching and hope y'all are enjoying the blessing your spirit that Ed is doing for y'all in the in the mornings and have good and yeah and I will talk to y'all on Sunday.
See y'all on Sunday for the rest of it. We're so excited. She joined us for nada. I hope you get some good sleep.
So good to see you guys. Finally, to get to see your faces.
You guys a little bit. Yeah.
All right, well, I'll see y'all later. Bye.
Bye.