WEBVTT

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Thank you.

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Hello, Ashley.

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Hey, Chris. How are you?

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Good.

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And I was.

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Oh, you're riding it. Yay.

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I look forward to reading it.

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So you said that you've been tired I'm sorry.

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Well, that's okay. I mean, feeling, I'm feeling okay today it's so busy at work.

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So busy new programs, you know, really new things, but it's good.

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And there's we're not.

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Yeah.

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Okay. I know.

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She's connecting at three in the morning.

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Oh, wow.

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That's commitment.

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I know, I know that's what I thought.

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And by the way, how am I streaming Am I freezing or am I okay. You're okay.

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Okay, just froze for a minute.

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Hello.

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I'm excited that you came.

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Good to see you guys. Yeah.

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So, did you stay up or did you go to sleep and then wake up.

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I went to sleep.

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We, it's better to get a couple of two, three hours of sleep first.

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Then, just get up and then you just get up it's you get, it's okay and then. Yeah.

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Yeah, you go back to sleep.

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Yes, I'm going to go back to sleep afterwards. Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Trying to make sure that my internet is working.

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Yeah, you're kind of.

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You're frozen.

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No.

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So strange.

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Yeah.

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Well,

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when I watched the replay last time, and notice that I kept freezing and things, and I don't know what is going on. So with my internet.

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So anyway, because I didn't used to be doing that so I was just trying to make sure that I could like, except for this time and now.

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Such a bummer, which I knew what was going on, because I'm directly plugged into the directly plugged into the ethernet, and yet I'm still seem to be having a hard time so.

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Oh well.

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So why are you able to make it we're not it, are you.

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Do you have work tomorrow or not.

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Tomorrow I don't.

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Tomorrow I can rest, but last time it affected me for three days afterwards.

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And if I'm going to do it on Mondays, I have to get up at 630 in the morning.

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So, I was thinking if I'm going to do it on Monday I need a little bit more faith.

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Yeah, yeah.

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Oh, I think she's breaking up.

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Yeah, freezing.

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freezing quite a bit. Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Um,

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you're breaking up we can't hear you.

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Oh, that's good.

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So y'all can hear me.

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Okay.

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So we can't hear you either. I'm going to make sure we can.

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So I

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computer, try to

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hear

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you Casey, Rita.

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Rita. Hey, guys.

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Are we in break rooms?

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No, I think she's having problems with the internet.

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She keeps freezing.

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Oh, yeah.

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I wonder if she can hear us.

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Can you hear us Ashley?

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Oh, there she is.

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That looks like frozen again.

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Wait, she gave me, let's see.

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Hey, darn.

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She's making, so Chris, I sent you a here.

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Yeah, I just saw it.

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Would you open the participant menu and let people including

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me back in?

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Okay, the participant.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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Thank you.

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Oh, Lindsay's.

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Okay.

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I'm going to let Lindsay in.

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Okay.

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Hi, Lindsay.

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Ashley is having computer issues.

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So she's having me let people in.

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So she's probably going to.

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Want to be let into.

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She's going to restart her computer and try to reboot the internet.

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Chris, are you going to answer all of our questions tonight?

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Oh, yeah.

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Oh, yeah.

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The best.

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No, I thought you would.

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Yeah, I'm going to let you in.

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Yeah.

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Well, I'll tell you about a very interesting experience.

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I had this morning.

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I was lying in bed and I just felt almost felt physically the pressure

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on my chest of the burden of all the things I have to do.

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And so I just it was like I, you know, surrendered it to the Lord.

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And then, you know, told him that I choose him and not the outcomes.

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And then I went back to sleep.

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And then when I got up, it was like he said to me, don't look at your,

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you know, your the things you have to do are not a burden.

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They're a joy.

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They're things, you know, they're things that I really enjoy doing all

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of them.

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So it was really cool.

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I felt joyful after that.

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That's amazing.

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Yeah, honey.

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That was cool.

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Okay.

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I just filled in Ashley while you were out.

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Thank you.

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I'm glad you did.

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Thanks for being the host for a bit.

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So I hope it doesn't freeze on me anymore.

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I don't know.

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We're good now.

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Okay.

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So I'm wondering if I don't know, I think I may have figured out what's

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going on, but I'm not quite sure.

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So anyway, we'll just pray over it.

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But so I was thinking to say, I don't remember.

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I hope everybody's doing good.

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And we have Renata with us.

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Very excited.

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Three in the morning.

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She is officially the most committed.

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Thanks.

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I really wanted to be here.

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Yeah.

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We're so excited that you joined us.

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Yeah, it's just, you know, that the Facebook group is great and all of

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that, but when you can have this, you can all interact.

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It's just, it's just something different.

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So good.

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Well, so does anyone have anything to start us out with any questions,

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anything that's been coming up this week or anything, you know, positive

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that you see the Lord, you know, that I don't remember if it was during

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the rest group on Sunday or if it was the previous fireside chat we were

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talking about.

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I think it was the rest group we were talking about, you know, the

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importance of of I don't know.

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Maybe it was last fireside chat point is when we were talking about, you

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know, like celebrating things we were talking about focusing on finding

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the Lord in everything instead of always what it is that we want to get

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out of but rather what are we now?

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What are we now seeing of God every day and looking at life more from

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where are we seeing the Lord?

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in our lives instead of what is, what is happening to me.

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And then why won't God help me, help me out, move things,

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change things, you know, whatnot.

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And so, but rather what are we seeing of the,

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of his character being manifested?

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How are we seeing him actually expressed to us

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and manifest into our lives who he actually is?

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So I'm kind of like putting into the physical,

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but he already is in the spiritual.

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So does anyone have anything,

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something like that or a question or just whatever

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by this time?

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Y'all know the, you know, the routine.

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I like to just remind you of it

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every time I get on there for whatever reason.

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Same spiel.

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Okay, so I have a question.

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It might be super basic

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and it might be something we've already covered,

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but I've just, I've come across it a lot this week

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and I'm struggling to,

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so, you know, I'm, I'm feeling kind of this week,

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especially probably because the new year's coming

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and there's like things I'm putting into place

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of like what I want to be accomplishing next year

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and all that stuff.

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And I'm feeling like a lot of resistance towards things,

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lack of motivation, lack of energy,

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physically, mentally, emotionally, kind of every level.

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And I'm trying to discern, you know,

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is that something the Lord is trying to,

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like, is it an end of a season?

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I guess my question is when you come across

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that type of resistance

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where it kind of feels at every level,

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but yet you still can't understand

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why you feel a certain way,

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how do you decide?

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And maybe I'm just asking for like insight

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on maybe your own journey,

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if you've come across this,

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like when to kind of push through,

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like bear the pain and push through

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because there's like breakthrough needs to take place

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or kind of overcoming that needs to take place.

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And when do you know

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that this is actually something I need to let go of,

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like it's the end of something

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or it's something I shouldn't be carrying?

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Generally speaking,

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there's, now I might come up with some kind of a reason

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why you would phrase it this way,

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but right now we'll just say

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there's no reason to push through

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because really we don't,

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there's something that we're actually not,

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that we actually have to deal with

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as opposed to just like,

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well, just push through.

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It's there's some kind of an internal resistance

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that we actually,

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that we're just being notified by our feelings

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that we're believing something or whatever.

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Now, it could be the Lord too.

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So, but my point is that it's all kind of like,

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there's still, if it's the Lord who's doing it,

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like the Lord who's creating resistance,

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well, then there's some reason why we're resisting that.

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So anyway, we just kind of need to let the,

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the process will go easier

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if we just kind of let the pressure off.

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And the way to start letting the pressure off

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is to stop thinking,

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okay, there's something I'm supposed to accomplish

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and do I just need to just bulldoze my way through it

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and just do it?

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I recommend doing things like separating

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the soul from the spirit

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and allowing the soul to have its say,

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allowing you to really focus on what is it

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that you really feel about it?

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What do you really wanna do?

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At the end of the day,

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without trying to muddy the waters,

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what does God want?

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What does my spirit know it's supposed to do?

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Am I having faith?

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Am I not having faith?

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Just what is it that you,

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is just kind of like a really weird way to phrase this,

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but it's just a way that I can think of

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to just to hopefully drive a point home

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and differentiate it from everything else.

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What feels very primal in you?

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What feelings are coming out of that

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versus me talking about like,

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well, I don't know,

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what is it that you really feel in there?

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Because there's also,

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we're really actually spirit.

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And so sometimes I refer to that when I'm talking about,

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what feels like you when you express yourself?

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It feels like life coming up with you.

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So I'm talking about something a little different

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and talking about like,

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okay, so if you were to kind of figure out

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kind of way through the feelings, figure out,

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okay, well, what feels very primal?

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What makes me feel very earthly, very natural?

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And then what are those feelings?

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Like, oh, well, right now,

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when I'm thinking about having to do such and such

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in the coming year,

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or we've considered doing such and such in the next year,

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or it's been presented to me to do such and such,

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I don't know, whatever pressures you're putting on yourself,

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what is it that you actually,

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what are your primal instincts?

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Like, I don't want to say animal instincts

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because we're not animals, but it's that type of an idea.

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What is just that very earth sense

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where you're not trying to be good?

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You're just, if you were given the opportunity

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to do whatever the heck you wanted to do.

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very base level, what are those feelings? And then, and then, and then just kind of be honest

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with yourself about why. Now you can go through a very big, long process and you're very familiar

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with this because you teach it in your class about going to seven layers deep of why, why, why.

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You can do that, but you can also, I find that I don't always have to do that in these types

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of situations in order to try to get breakthrough for like making a decision. And so it can

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be faster than that is, is my point in this, in these types of situations. And you just kind of

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like, let your soul have it say, and just kind of explain itself and just really kind of allow

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yourself to feel what it is that you feel. You're not feeding it. You're basically trying to access

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yourself and give yourself attention. Give yourself acknowledgement, you know, acknowledge

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who it is that you really are because you're, you you're that way, whether you're acknowledging it

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or not. So there's nothing wrong in acknowledging and there's nothing wrong in feeling it and being

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aware of it. It's just kind of whatever. So my point is that when you do that, then it kind of

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starts quieting down and you become, and then you become much more aware of yourself because our soul

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is an aspect of herself and that'll help kind of clarify things. And all of this dust that's

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flowing around in the air will just kind of start settling down. And then you look at the spirit

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side. So after the soul has had it say, well, then you just focus on the spirit and you just think

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of, okay, well, now that the soul is quiet, what is it that, you know, where am I? And well, there's

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different ways to do this. One of the things is you can just, just sense in the spirit. What is

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it that I sense, but what you always want to, well, sorry, I'm trying to figure out how to,

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how to read this. You, then you want to make sure to shift into your spirit, you know, shift into

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rest. Remember that shift into the Lord. Remember that, that you abide in him. You're one with him.

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You're in union with him. And then from that place, it's easier to hear him. And it's easier

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to recognize, you know, obviously your spirit that's one with him, what it's feeling, what it's

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believing, what it's feeling, the leading and the freedom to have faith in. So then you can start

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figuring out or, or what freedom you have to not do the thing as opposed to, oh, well, you're just

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afraid to do this thing because you just don't have enough faith. And if you, and then when you

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listen to your spirit, you know, you feel your urging and your spirit to have enough faith.

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Sometimes it's actually not what we, what we realize in the spirit. Sometimes what we realize

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in the spirit is going on is God's just like, what do you want to do? Do you want to do that? Do you

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not want to do that? But in the spirit, not from the soul, what does the soul want to do? Because

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it's afraid. Okay. Let me back up. If the soul wasn't afraid, what does the soul want to do?

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The soul can, the soul still good. The soul wants good things, but it just needs to be operating

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from the heart of God, instead of from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

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So the thing is that once you get all of the negative aspects of the soul, you know,

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just kind of acknowledged and dealt with and like realized, then, then you might find when you shift

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into the spirit that it's not that. And you're like, okay, Lord, now that I've laid down what it

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is. So that's another way that I can express it to is you in order to shift into rest, remember

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you have to emotionally remove your, uh, emotionally release God from the outcome.

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Like what does God want to do? So then once you really emotionally release them from the outcome,

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then it's clearer to actually hear what outcome he's giving you. And that's my point. Once you

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get to that place and you're like, okay, Lord, I'm open now. Now, truly you can tell me by the way,

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what will help everybody. And this is what helps me. It helps me shift into rest in those

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situations, especially when you find yourself in situations like Lindsay's talking about where

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there's so much resistance. What if that resistance is coming from you? It's really hard to shift into

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rest in situations in which you're like, I really don't want to know what God's telling me because

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I really don't want to do the thing that I think he's telling me, you know? So if it's easier to,

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it's easier to do that. If you realize that all you're doing here is an exercise,

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you're just finding out the truth. You're not committing yourself to act on it.

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So we all know that at the end of the day, we want to do what the Lord wants us to do,

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but in help yourself to shift into being able to more clearly hear the Lord and to stand, to stop,

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to stop clouding, um, um, his, his talking to you with all of the resistance that you've got,

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just kind of do that by just telling yourself, you know what I've, this thing that I don't want

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to do, I can still decide to not do it, but I'm just going to put it here for a second.

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You know, I can pick it up later if I want to, but I'm going to put it down for now,

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like literally completely release it. Give yourself permission to pick it up,

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back up in five minutes if you want to.

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But let it go. You can't hold on to it. And you're like, well, I'm not saying I'm going to act on this Lord, but I'm going to hold it.

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While you talk to me, you can't do that. You won't be able to hear him. You have to actually let it go permanently, but you know where you put it and you know how to pick it back up.

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So that's, that's helps me is to remember I'm just doing an exercise. I'm not committing myself to now do what it is that I what God tells what I discovered that God wants me to do.

337
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That will help you because you don't feel that you don't feel threatened by a final decision.

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So, anyway, so just put it, just put it down. And, and most of the time you're not going to want to go pick it back up, but you've given yourself permission to put to, to put it where you know that it is, and you can allow yourself to pick it back up

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in five minutes if you want to. Anyway, so once you do that, and then you shift into you, you emotionally release the Lord from the outcome, you emotionally release, release the Lord from whatever it is he tells you to do.

340
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You're like, God, whatever it is, you're going to protect me, whatever it is you're going to provide for me.

341
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It's all going to be fine. And, and then what do you hear from the heart of the Lord. And sometimes you might hear, hey, do this, I'm inviting you child to believe in me in faith to stretch this far.

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And that might be it. But what you might hear instead is God saying, what do you want to do the freedom that I'm giving you in the invitation that I'm offering you is what do you want to do.

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So we're co collaborating here I'm fathering you and teaching you how to have an opinion, how to mature your will. And then so you come to the table with your ideas, and I'll tell you whether or not you know that's a good idea to do it.

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And whether or not I want to, I want to do what you want to do this time, simply, sometimes just to give you the opportunity to finally for me to finally partner with you in accomplishing something that you wanted, as opposed to you it to in other words

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to break this idea off of you that you always have to do what I want to do and you never get to do what you want to do. And that my ideas are always the only right ones.

346
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And there and you have no significance. And so, so anyway, you never know what God wants to do in a particular situation but do anyway, and in that place you can more clearly here you're here as well if God gives you that freedom and that invitation

347
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of hey well what would you like to do. I want to give you the opportunity to express yourself in some way and I will partner with you and we'll do it together.

348
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And so now in more that place once you've now emotionally released God from the outcome you've actually, you've, you've released so much that you can more clearly hear yourself, and you can more clearly here.

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This is what I actually really want to do. I really actually want to do this thing over here but I was just afraid I was afraid that I would fail or I was afraid that whatever that was just your soul talking that you find out that this actually is what

350
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God wants to do. And it wasn't God who told you, you couldn't, even though you were afraid of it and you were afraid of your fear. You actually wanted to do it but you couldn't hear it because just too much noise.

351
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So, is that helpful.

352
00:23:09.000 --> 00:23:10.000
Okay.

353
00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:20.000
Right. So I probably gave a lot there I knew what I was saying and I could see it all but I hope it wasn't confusing for everybody because I was pointing out like several different things.

354
00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:30.000
All right. So does anyone have anything else.

355
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I haven't said hi to read in Casey and liberty yet.

356
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Well I hadn't said hi to Lindsay either.

357
00:23:38.000 --> 00:23:44.000
I just talked to talk to Lindsay but I didn't say hi, we dove right in. That's right.

358
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Hello.

359
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Let me figure out my life.

360
00:23:59.000 --> 00:24:05.000
Well, no one's gotten anything I could try to find something. I thought I'd written sitting down the other day.

361
00:24:05.000 --> 00:24:07.000
I can go.

362
00:24:07.000 --> 00:24:08.000
Yeah.

363
00:24:08.000 --> 00:24:17.000
I've been thinking about I've been watching a governing creation in relationship, and a few things.

364
00:24:17.000 --> 00:24:32.000
One of the thing is, you don't want to confirm people when they're saying they're struggling and they need confirmation on on that like they want to hear you validate them yes that's horrible.

365
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And I was thinking, that's kind of a lot of what we do, and that's how we make us feel met on our emotions like then you feel emotionally met when someone says oh I understand you that's horrible that should never have happened.

366
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So, I thought about, like, how, how do you do relationships.

367
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When that's what people want from you and that's what they need.

368
00:24:56.000 --> 00:25:00.000
You spoke about it in the video but also it's just you could elaborate.

369
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And I also thought about another thing that I learned.

370
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Both of these things are things that I've thought,

371
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I actually thought it was like valuable.

372
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Like if, like from a therapist view, like,

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oh, you're actually meeting the people

374
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and the person's emotions and validating their emotions.

375
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And also I thought about,

376
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I was thinking, like I was saying in my journey share,

377
00:25:21.360 --> 00:25:23.960
how would you act if you're free?

378
00:25:23.960 --> 00:25:27.600
How do you, would you treat a certain person like with me?

379
00:25:27.600 --> 00:25:32.600
It's a very good person that I'm struggling with.

380
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But then I thought on the other side,

381
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I've learned like in therapy,

382
00:25:37.160 --> 00:25:39.560
like it's very important with emotions

383
00:25:39.560 --> 00:25:42.080
and very important to be allowed to be mad,

384
00:25:42.080 --> 00:25:45.120
to have feelings, to be mad as long as you need to.

385
00:25:45.120 --> 00:25:47.440
How do you get those two to come together?

386
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Because the thing that's coming in me now

387
00:25:49.960 --> 00:25:51.080
is like a lot of emotions.

388
00:25:51.080 --> 00:25:53.560
Like I'm really, really mad at that person.

389
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And emotional reaction.

390
00:25:56.280 --> 00:26:01.280
And a lot of things that I'm kind of having to work through,

391
00:26:02.800 --> 00:26:06.200
but then, okay, on the other hand,

392
00:26:06.200 --> 00:26:07.520
it's good to think if I'm free,

393
00:26:07.520 --> 00:26:09.280
how would I treat that person?

394
00:26:09.280 --> 00:26:11.320
But I'm actually super mad at the person.

395
00:26:12.320 --> 00:26:13.160
Yeah.

396
00:26:13.160 --> 00:26:15.040
And that kind of crushes,

397
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because one part of it is like,

398
00:26:16.520 --> 00:26:18.520
you just want to be mad and you think,

399
00:26:18.520 --> 00:26:20.080
I've learned that that's really healthy

400
00:26:20.080 --> 00:26:21.960
as long as you don't sin.

401
00:26:21.960 --> 00:26:23.240
But on the other hand, it's like,

402
00:26:23.920 --> 00:26:26.360
but if I was totally free and I saw the person

403
00:26:26.360 --> 00:26:28.400
the way God sees the person,

404
00:26:28.400 --> 00:26:32.520
then I would, I don't know.

405
00:26:32.520 --> 00:26:34.880
For some, I think it's wide.

406
00:26:34.880 --> 00:26:37.160
So I've thought about those two things when it comes to-

407
00:26:37.160 --> 00:26:38.000
Yeah.

408
00:26:38.000 --> 00:26:39.560
It's a really good question.

409
00:26:39.560 --> 00:26:42.440
I'm going to start with the second question first.

410
00:26:42.440 --> 00:26:44.680
When you're talking about, well, I mean, they tie.

411
00:26:44.680 --> 00:26:45.520
They tie in.

412
00:26:45.520 --> 00:26:46.440
So I'll end up talking about both.

413
00:26:46.440 --> 00:26:48.600
But as far as like being mad,

414
00:26:48.720 --> 00:26:49.560
they're,

415
00:26:52.000 --> 00:26:54.400
it's in like,

416
00:26:54.400 --> 00:26:56.600
what we really kind of want to get to eventually

417
00:26:56.600 --> 00:27:00.160
is in this process is when we're mad,

418
00:27:00.160 --> 00:27:05.160
we don't want to use it to emotionally attack the person.

419
00:27:05.360 --> 00:27:08.840
Now, I don't mean like physically,

420
00:27:08.840 --> 00:27:09.920
like we're like,

421
00:27:10.880 --> 00:27:12.760
I'm just talking in your own heart.

422
00:27:12.760 --> 00:27:14.560
We don't want to physically,

423
00:27:14.560 --> 00:27:17.880
sorry, we don't want to emotionally attack them,

424
00:27:18.200 --> 00:27:20.520
emotionally judge, emotionally judge them,

425
00:27:20.520 --> 00:27:24.080
emotionally, I don't know, hurt them.

426
00:27:24.080 --> 00:27:25.400
Without, I'm not,

427
00:27:25.400 --> 00:27:27.200
we're talking about in your own heart,

428
00:27:27.200 --> 00:27:29.720
in your own house, they're nowhere near you.

429
00:27:29.720 --> 00:27:33.000
That's not something that we want to do,

430
00:27:33.000 --> 00:27:36.720
but we can, there in being mad,

431
00:27:36.720 --> 00:27:40.000
there is an aspect of sometimes we're mad

432
00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:42.280
because we're actually grieving.

433
00:27:42.280 --> 00:27:44.600
We're grieving what happened to us

434
00:27:44.600 --> 00:27:48.400
because it wasn't kind, it wasn't fair,

435
00:27:48.400 --> 00:27:51.320
it wasn't gentle, it wasn't godly,

436
00:27:51.320 --> 00:27:52.560
it wasn't deserving,

437
00:27:52.560 --> 00:27:54.520
meaning like it doesn't reflect the value

438
00:27:54.520 --> 00:27:56.360
that God places on us.

439
00:27:56.360 --> 00:27:58.680
And so there's kind of like this processing

440
00:27:58.680 --> 00:28:02.080
that we just kind of go through as human beings

441
00:28:02.080 --> 00:28:06.520
of trying to deal with something that's happened to us

442
00:28:06.520 --> 00:28:10.600
that is in, that is not in alignment

443
00:28:10.600 --> 00:28:13.280
with who God says that we are.

444
00:28:13.280 --> 00:28:16.280
And so that's fine to process,

445
00:28:16.280 --> 00:28:19.280
but what we want to ask the Lord to help us with

446
00:28:19.280 --> 00:28:23.080
is to not be taking that, those feelings,

447
00:28:23.080 --> 00:28:26.520
and directing them emotionally in judgment

448
00:28:26.520 --> 00:28:29.120
and condemnation of the other person.

449
00:28:29.120 --> 00:28:31.640
So we don't want our being mad at them

450
00:28:31.640 --> 00:28:35.880
to actually be, for us to be using our anger

451
00:28:37.280 --> 00:28:38.600
emotionally directed towards them

452
00:28:38.600 --> 00:28:41.040
where we're condemning them to ourselves.

453
00:28:41.040 --> 00:28:43.160
We're like, yes, they're horrible, they're bad,

454
00:28:43.920 --> 00:28:45.320
why did they do this and die?

455
00:28:45.320 --> 00:28:48.680
And oh my goodness, they're lesser and they're X, Y, and Z.

456
00:28:48.680 --> 00:28:52.520
We don't want to use it to pass judgment on someone else,

457
00:28:53.480 --> 00:28:58.480
but that doesn't mean that you can't be mad

458
00:28:58.720 --> 00:29:01.880
and that you can't go through this emotional processing

459
00:29:01.880 --> 00:29:02.720
in and of yourself.

460
00:29:02.720 --> 00:29:06.320
We just don't want to direct it towards someone else,

461
00:29:07.240 --> 00:29:11.040
towards the end of actually condemning them with our anger.

462
00:29:11.880 --> 00:29:13.440
If that makes any sense.

463
00:29:13.440 --> 00:29:16.880
And then as, and so that's why we,

464
00:29:16.880 --> 00:29:18.280
and then along with that,

465
00:29:18.280 --> 00:29:22.880
we always want to see them the way that God sees them.

466
00:29:22.880 --> 00:29:25.040
And God doesn't see them in such a way

467
00:29:25.040 --> 00:29:28.280
that of judging towards condemnation.

468
00:29:30.280 --> 00:29:34.520
But we can see them in truth.

469
00:29:34.520 --> 00:29:37.640
So just because there's something that someone is,

470
00:29:38.640 --> 00:29:43.800
we can see things that other people do

471
00:29:43.800 --> 00:29:48.800
and truthfully and discerningly understand that that wasn't,

472
00:29:52.360 --> 00:29:55.040
that that was, maybe sometimes we can understand,

473
00:29:55.040 --> 00:29:57.160
oh, well, that's not of the flesh, that was of the spirit.

474
00:29:57.160 --> 00:29:59.920
I can't believe they acted that way or said those things

475
00:29:59.920 --> 00:30:00.760
or whatever.

476
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.000
everyone, we can, we can come to understand things about other

477
00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:07.080
people, and therefore make sure to only interact with them in a

478
00:30:07.080 --> 00:30:10.560
particular way, and not interact with them at others, because we

479
00:30:10.560 --> 00:30:14.120
don't trust how they respond in these other situations. We don't

480
00:30:14.120 --> 00:30:16.800
trust ourselves with them, we may not feel that they're

481
00:30:16.800 --> 00:30:19.000
responsible with many, we may not feel that they're

482
00:30:19.000 --> 00:30:21.240
responsible with our emotions, we may not feel that they're

483
00:30:21.240 --> 00:30:24.480
responsible with, I don't know, our presence, whatever. And, and

484
00:30:24.480 --> 00:30:27.760
so therefore, we don't have, we're not obligated to give that

485
00:30:27.760 --> 00:30:33.160
to them. But that's very, so we can still have what we refer to

486
00:30:33.160 --> 00:30:36.360
as boundaries with people, it'd be like, you know what, I'm

487
00:30:36.360 --> 00:30:40.800
going to choose whether or not I involve, to what degree I

488
00:30:40.800 --> 00:30:46.640
involve myself with this person. I will, I choose in my own free

489
00:30:46.640 --> 00:30:49.800
will that I will do these types of things, but I won't do these

490
00:30:49.800 --> 00:30:54.520
types of things. And that's how someone, a friend of Ed's

491
00:30:54.560 --> 00:30:57.240
describes his boundaries. And I loved that I was because I was

492
00:30:57.240 --> 00:30:59.960
really struggling with like, how on earth would you describe

493
00:31:01.120 --> 00:31:03.720
and how we are supposed to have boundaries, but I don't believe

494
00:31:03.720 --> 00:31:06.800
in them in the same, I don't believe them to, to be an

495
00:31:06.800 --> 00:31:08.960
operation in the same way that most people talk about

496
00:31:08.960 --> 00:31:11.760
boundaries, because most people talk about boundaries of like

497
00:31:11.800 --> 00:31:14.600
keeping other people from doing things to them. And I'm just

498
00:31:14.600 --> 00:31:16.840
like, okay, people, that's ridiculous. For one people,

499
00:31:16.840 --> 00:31:20.520
that's not our for, for one, for, for one thing that's not

500
00:31:20.520 --> 00:31:25.320
our, we don't have control over other people. And so, but there

501
00:31:25.320 --> 00:31:27.720
what is this aspect of boundary? So what is that? It's

502
00:31:27.720 --> 00:31:32.160
you choosing as an, as a free will agent, what will you be?

503
00:31:32.160 --> 00:31:35.160
What will you allow in your life? And what will you not

504
00:31:35.160 --> 00:31:38.440
because of the life that you've determined you will have? And

505
00:31:38.440 --> 00:31:40.600
what it is that you want? In other words, you're operating

506
00:31:40.600 --> 00:31:44.560
here, it's a boundaries from an offensive position, instead of a

507
00:31:44.560 --> 00:31:47.160
defensive position, what you're trying to protect yourself

508
00:31:47.160 --> 00:31:52.040
against, rather, it's know what is going to protect how I'm

509
00:31:52.040 --> 00:31:54.960
moving forward in the world, and that versus what is keeping

510
00:31:54.960 --> 00:32:02.240
me from that. And so we can be discerning of people without

511
00:32:02.240 --> 00:32:08.160
condemning them, because of what we know. In fact, let me find

512
00:32:08.160 --> 00:32:13.160
it. Bill Johnson just had something today that I thought

513
00:32:13.160 --> 00:32:18.760
was really good. It was a little someone had posted or will he

514
00:32:18.760 --> 00:32:22.400
post, I guess, sometime, maybe today, I don't know, I just

515
00:32:22.400 --> 00:32:25.480
thought today came through my newsfeed today. And it's this,

516
00:32:25.520 --> 00:32:32.080
it's, it's this little video clip. And, and what he wrote as

517
00:32:32.080 --> 00:32:36.280
a, in a, on top of the video clip was one of the three

518
00:32:36.280 --> 00:32:39.360
biggest challenges in ministry, and that he's just using

519
00:32:39.360 --> 00:32:41.920
ministry, but we can just say, oh, interactions with people.

520
00:32:42.240 --> 00:32:45.080
One of the biggest challenges in ministry is to go into dark

521
00:32:45.080 --> 00:32:48.840
places without taking on the offenses of those we are there

522
00:32:48.840 --> 00:32:52.200
to serve. I believe it's one of the things that keeps us from

523
00:32:52.200 --> 00:32:55.440
having the measure of cultural impact that the Lord desires

524
00:32:55.440 --> 00:32:59.080
for us. Bitterness is contaminating in nature, and we

525
00:32:59.080 --> 00:33:02.280
must be intentional not to pick up the offenses of those around

526
00:33:02.280 --> 00:33:06.720
us. And he's obviously talking about ministering to people

527
00:33:06.720 --> 00:33:09.840
who've extreme who've been through very, very bad things,

528
00:33:09.840 --> 00:33:13.040
and you're trying to help them through it. But the it's the

529
00:33:13.040 --> 00:33:17.080
same kind of an idea of like, how do we how to review other

530
00:33:17.080 --> 00:33:20.720
people and he's saying is very important that we make sure to

531
00:33:20.720 --> 00:33:24.560
not in not taking up offenses for other people that we don't

532
00:33:24.920 --> 00:33:32.440
that we don't judge or condemn other people. But we with from

533
00:33:32.480 --> 00:33:37.320
and from the fact that we know things, we can know things. And

534
00:33:37.320 --> 00:33:40.120
we can act on that knowledge is in like, okay, well, I'm going

535
00:33:40.120 --> 00:33:42.520
to allow myself to be this close to this person, and I'm not

536
00:33:42.520 --> 00:33:45.320
going to allow myself to be that close to that person. But

537
00:33:45.320 --> 00:33:48.800
that's very different than judging them as a human being

538
00:33:48.800 --> 00:33:52.920
judging their value. And so it's important to always see the

539
00:33:52.920 --> 00:33:56.720
person not according to how they're presenting themselves is

540
00:33:56.720 --> 00:33:58.800
if they believe that they're their soul or their body and

541
00:33:58.800 --> 00:34:02.680
then brokenness and in fear and insecurity and whatever, but we

542
00:34:02.680 --> 00:34:06.520
actually see who it is that they are in spirit. And that's who we

543
00:34:06.520 --> 00:34:10.679
interact with. That's who how we interact, we see them and

544
00:34:10.679 --> 00:34:15.360
interact with them according to their value. But again, it

545
00:34:15.360 --> 00:34:19.840
doesn't mean that that you I don't know, somebody who doesn't

546
00:34:19.840 --> 00:34:23.239
know how to handle money, well, you still see them as God sees

547
00:34:23.239 --> 00:34:26.679
them. And you don't condemn them or judge them for that. I mean,

548
00:34:26.679 --> 00:34:29.800
judge them as far as like condemn them. But you're being

549
00:34:29.800 --> 00:34:33.199
very discerning and very aware and wise as a serpent, as God

550
00:34:33.199 --> 00:34:36.440
says, being innocent, as does as wise as serpents. And you just

551
00:34:36.440 --> 00:34:38.719
don't give them you just don't entrust them with any of your

552
00:34:38.719 --> 00:34:42.480
money, you know, or any of your time or any of your emotions or

553
00:34:42.480 --> 00:34:45.400
whatever. But it's very different than judging, meaning

554
00:34:45.400 --> 00:34:49.040
condemning them as a person. So is that?

555
00:34:49.480 --> 00:34:54.360
Yeah, you can be mad and deal with the emotions that come up.

556
00:34:54.679 --> 00:34:58.360
And think like, okay, this is what I want to give to this

557
00:34:58.360 --> 00:35:00.040
person. And this is what I don't want.

558
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.960
to give and then see them as God sees them and love them and treat them.

559
00:35:05.800 --> 00:35:06.160
Yeah.

560
00:35:06.880 --> 00:35:07.160
Yeah.

561
00:35:07.240 --> 00:35:08.760
What do you want to be part of your life?

562
00:35:09.240 --> 00:35:09.600
Yeah.

563
00:35:10.280 --> 00:35:14.880
And what do you not want to be part of your life and, um, that, that person has

564
00:35:14.880 --> 00:35:21.840
to offer and then, uh, and then yes, it's just, God says, you know, that, that he

565
00:35:21.840 --> 00:35:27.000
said, we can be anger, just not, he said, just don't sin in your, if we can be

566
00:35:27.000 --> 00:35:31.360
anger, we can be angry, we can have anger, but just don't sin in your anger.

567
00:35:31.760 --> 00:35:37.760
Um, and he's obviously referring to the fact we can't like judge or condemn or,

568
00:35:37.760 --> 00:35:40.960
you know, how, what is it, what's the source of our anger and where are we

569
00:35:40.960 --> 00:35:41.600
directing it?

570
00:35:41.600 --> 00:35:46.080
Because remember he says that even if we have anger in our heart towards our

571
00:35:46.080 --> 00:35:48.200
brother, we've already murdered him.

572
00:35:49.080 --> 00:35:50.640
And that's kind of a really serious statement.

573
00:35:50.640 --> 00:35:52.920
So, but God gave us anger.

574
00:35:53.080 --> 00:35:54.560
Jesus was angry.

575
00:35:55.000 --> 00:35:57.120
You know, he had times that he was angry.

576
00:35:57.400 --> 00:36:01.520
So, and that's something that we refer to obviously as is righteous anger.

577
00:36:01.520 --> 00:36:04.120
And then remember also anger itself is not a sin.

578
00:36:04.440 --> 00:36:07.200
It's why are you angry and what are you doing with it?

579
00:36:07.200 --> 00:36:12.280
So, like I said, sometimes we're, we're angry and it's just, it's indicating to

580
00:36:12.280 --> 00:36:16.680
us that we've got a process that we're going through of, of where things are

581
00:36:16.680 --> 00:36:19.440
adjusting of what is it, what have we been presented with?

582
00:36:19.440 --> 00:36:20.640
What is it that we believe?

583
00:36:20.640 --> 00:36:21.840
How are we being triggered?

584
00:36:22.160 --> 00:36:23.760
And we need a process through that.

585
00:36:24.200 --> 00:36:31.600
But anyway, so it's similar to remember Jesus being in the garden of Gethsemane

586
00:36:31.600 --> 00:36:36.080
and he said, and he was struggling and he said, you know, the spirit is willing,

587
00:36:36.080 --> 00:36:37.200
but the flesh is weak.

588
00:36:37.560 --> 00:36:43.000
So even Jesus struggled, but it, what did he, what did he decide on?

589
00:36:43.000 --> 00:36:44.800
What did he end up doing?

590
00:36:45.360 --> 00:36:49.680
What it is that he ended up choosing and believing and having faith in is

591
00:36:49.680 --> 00:36:52.240
what caused him to not sin.

592
00:36:52.680 --> 00:36:58.360
But it, but there's still that clash of, of soul and, and spirit,

593
00:36:58.360 --> 00:36:59.800
you know, a flesh and spirit.

594
00:37:00.440 --> 00:37:04.080
And that's sometimes what our anger is revealing to us that

595
00:37:04.080 --> 00:37:05.360
there's this dissonance.

596
00:37:05.360 --> 00:37:07.560
There's this unalignment.

597
00:37:07.560 --> 00:37:11.920
There's this disalignment either within ourselves or of how we're viewing

598
00:37:11.920 --> 00:37:14.480
something that's happening on the outside of what it is that we believe

599
00:37:14.480 --> 00:37:15.720
is appropriate in God's kingdom.

600
00:37:16.240 --> 00:37:17.960
And so you're just kind of going through a process.

601
00:37:17.960 --> 00:37:23.200
And like I said, sometimes, um, anger is grief that you've been treated a

602
00:37:23.200 --> 00:37:28.560
particular way that, um, something happened that was unjust, it was unfair.

603
00:37:28.560 --> 00:37:32.280
And again, it's not in alignment with the kingdom of God, and sometimes

604
00:37:32.280 --> 00:37:37.680
it can just make us angry, but we don't want to condemn ourselves,

605
00:37:37.680 --> 00:37:39.800
God, or anyone else in that anger.

606
00:37:41.120 --> 00:37:45.880
So, but, but anger, like any other emotion is just an indication to us

607
00:37:46.240 --> 00:37:48.160
of what it is that we're believing.

608
00:37:48.600 --> 00:37:50.040
So it's a thermometer.

609
00:37:50.040 --> 00:37:51.280
It's not a thermostat.

610
00:37:51.480 --> 00:37:55.240
It's just, it's just letting us know something's there, but

611
00:37:55.240 --> 00:37:57.840
the feeling itself isn't a sin.

612
00:37:58.640 --> 00:38:01.720
It's letting us know that we're believing something.

613
00:38:01.720 --> 00:38:04.240
So it's really the belief that we're dealing with.

614
00:38:04.400 --> 00:38:08.520
It's really the belief itself that we're wanting to deal with, not the emotion.

615
00:38:10.320 --> 00:38:15.400
So an emotional symbol will change as a result of a change in belief.

616
00:38:15.440 --> 00:38:16.840
I mean, it'll change immediately.

617
00:38:18.560 --> 00:38:21.280
So anyway, is that helpful?

618
00:38:21.600 --> 00:38:21.920
Yeah.

619
00:38:23.320 --> 00:38:28.080
And, and the other part, uh, when people need confirmation,

620
00:38:28.080 --> 00:38:30.080
do you want to elaborate on it or?

621
00:38:30.440 --> 00:38:31.000
Oh, yeah.

622
00:38:31.040 --> 00:38:40.120
Um, so as an example, um, uh, I remember, I remember one time I was, and this

623
00:38:40.160 --> 00:38:41.720
is just a personal story.

624
00:38:42.080 --> 00:38:48.400
One time I was visiting with a gentleman who was telling me that he had, um, uh,

625
00:38:48.400 --> 00:38:54.720
he'd been very hurt by some people and I don't know, just, it's been a while now.

626
00:38:54.720 --> 00:39:01.560
It's probably been two or three years now, but, um, and he was just, uh, and

627
00:39:01.560 --> 00:39:05.320
he was very hurt, felt very betrayed, very personally attacked.

628
00:39:05.920 --> 00:39:10.480
And instead of me telling him, oh, you are absolutely right.

629
00:39:11.280 --> 00:39:16.560
They, you know, I'm so sorry that that, that, that was told to you because

630
00:39:16.560 --> 00:39:18.760
you don't deserve it and that's not true.

631
00:39:18.760 --> 00:39:27.760
And I didn't want to focus on the truth or lie that was being spoken to him

632
00:39:27.760 --> 00:39:33.480
necessarily, because that would just get him more wild up, more entrenched in his

633
00:39:33.520 --> 00:39:36.600
belief, more entrenched in what it is that he was feeling about it.

634
00:39:37.160 --> 00:39:42.440
And so instead I knew that it didn't really, that if he was secure in himself

635
00:39:42.440 --> 00:39:49.240
and if he felt loved, and if he felt affirmed, then what it is that he, that

636
00:39:49.240 --> 00:39:53.680
those people said wouldn't have hurt him or it wouldn't have hurt him as much.

637
00:39:54.000 --> 00:39:57.360
So really the issue was the fact that he was feeling unloved.

638
00:39:57.840 --> 00:40:00.040
So I thought, okay, what I need to do then.

639
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.840
is loving. If that's what he's lacking right now. And that's in the lack of that is causing

640
00:40:05.840 --> 00:40:13.920
him to feel and, and respond the way he is. Then I need to love him. I need to actually

641
00:40:13.920 --> 00:40:20.920
give him love, not convince himself to somehow find love out of his circumstances or situations.

642
00:40:20.920 --> 00:40:26.960
No, I need to give it to him. If we want something for someone else, we are the sacrifice. We

643
00:40:26.960 --> 00:40:31.960
have to offer it. We have to love. We have to not abandon. We have to do it. We have

644
00:40:31.960 --> 00:40:38.560
to be the thing that we want for someone else. Case in point, Jesus was talking to, um, I

645
00:40:38.560 --> 00:40:44.120
think it was Jesus who was telling the story and not, not someone else. Um, where he said,

646
00:40:44.120 --> 00:40:49.600
you know, if, if, uh, if a man comes to you and says, you know, I'm, I'm, you know, I'm

647
00:40:49.600 --> 00:40:55.680
hungry and I'm cold. Don't, don't just send them on their way, you know, saying, oh, well,

648
00:40:55.680 --> 00:40:59.960
I'll pray for you. And, and I hope that God, you know, takes care of you and my thoughts

649
00:40:59.960 --> 00:41:07.040
are with you and all that. He said, no, feed them, give them the coat. He didn't say he,

650
00:41:07.040 --> 00:41:14.280
he basically was saying, don't send them to God, be God to them. In other words, God is

651
00:41:14.280 --> 00:41:22.120
in you and it's in your one in spirit. So give him the spirit of the Lord within you

652
00:41:22.120 --> 00:41:26.040
and offer that to him because that's what they're needing. If you send them off, they're

653
00:41:26.040 --> 00:41:30.760
probably not going to get it, but if you give it to them, they'll have it right now. They

654
00:41:30.760 --> 00:41:36.120
don't have to wait for it. So God said, you know, don't send them away. Um, and, uh, so

655
00:41:36.120 --> 00:41:42.080
that's what I did with this guy. And, um, I was just kind of talked to him and was just

656
00:41:42.080 --> 00:41:47.760
saying, uh, well, my goodness, I don't remember what I said, but I didn't talk anything about,

657
00:41:47.760 --> 00:41:51.720
about, oh yeah, that's terrible that, that you went through that or whatever. I just

658
00:41:51.720 --> 00:41:56.880
said, you know, what I so appreciate about you is how you always handle situations like

659
00:41:56.880 --> 00:42:02.480
this. And, um, and you know, I can see in how you handle that. I can see the love of

660
00:42:02.480 --> 00:42:08.360
the Lord in you. And I've always been very blessed by that. I've always been felt, um,

661
00:42:08.360 --> 00:42:13.120
you know, when I need, when, um, I don't know, trying to, trying to remember some of the

662
00:42:13.120 --> 00:42:17.360
conversation again, it was like two years ago, but it, it was just kind of things like

663
00:42:17.360 --> 00:42:22.920
that. It was like, whenever I'm, I'm needing these types of things, this is how you affect

664
00:42:22.920 --> 00:42:27.760
me when you speak to me out of it, out of your spirit. And this is the things that I've

665
00:42:27.760 --> 00:42:33.280
just kind of, that I've noticed about you. And I was building in and I just, I so appreciate

666
00:42:33.280 --> 00:42:39.600
what it is that I see of the Lord in you. And I'm not telling, and I had to tell him

667
00:42:39.600 --> 00:42:45.080
things that I really believed that I really felt, not that I believe to be true as if

668
00:42:45.080 --> 00:42:50.440
it was some law that's written out there, but me personally and how I viewed him, this

669
00:42:50.440 --> 00:42:56.120
is how I saw him. This is, this is an aspect of my relationship with him that had built

670
00:42:56.120 --> 00:43:01.880
up that I was finally telling him about. And so, um, anyway, I was just, uh, I would just

671
00:43:01.880 --> 00:43:06.040
tell him all of these things, but they were things related to the fact that I needed to

672
00:43:06.040 --> 00:43:15.880
express my love for him, not in efforts that he would be convinced and feel loved because

673
00:43:15.880 --> 00:43:21.960
that's an agenda. We can't be going at this, trying to get someone to, in hopes that someone's

674
00:43:21.960 --> 00:43:27.000
going to feel something or respond in a particular way, or finally have the thing that we wish

675
00:43:27.000 --> 00:43:31.480
that they would have. We can't focus on that as an agenda. We can't focus on what it is

676
00:43:31.480 --> 00:43:36.840
that they're getting out of it. All we have to focus on is us giving them the thing that

677
00:43:36.840 --> 00:43:43.640
we see that they're lacking. It can't be, I hope they're getting this. I hope it's working.

678
00:43:43.640 --> 00:43:49.080
I hope they're feeling it. I hope they're finally convinced we can't, they cannot be the focus.

679
00:43:49.640 --> 00:43:57.560
We are our focus. We, if they are needing love, we need to focus on loving them and loving on them

680
00:43:57.560 --> 00:44:02.280
and pouring into them. And that will completely change everything. So during that conversation,

681
00:44:02.280 --> 00:44:05.800
he said, I was talking to him about all those types of things, meaning like,

682
00:44:05.800 --> 00:44:11.960
you know, how much I appreciated him. And they, it was relevant to the topic. Understand he had

683
00:44:11.960 --> 00:44:17.480
shared it with me. And then I wasn't like going off topic somewhere. I just didn't address the

684
00:44:17.480 --> 00:44:21.880
things that they'd said to him and how they weren't right. And how those were lies and how

685
00:44:21.880 --> 00:44:27.400
those things must have hurt. I just focused though on, on the fact that he was telling me,

686
00:44:27.400 --> 00:44:34.120
he was hurt. My friend was going through a really hard time. So I was pouring into that person.

687
00:44:34.120 --> 00:44:38.440
I was building up that person to let that person know, this is how I see you.

688
00:44:39.720 --> 00:44:43.880
And it, and it, and it, the dynamic of the conversation totally changed. And he said,

689
00:44:43.880 --> 00:44:47.880
Ashley, he said, this is why I call you. This is, this is why I call you when I need something.

690
00:44:47.880 --> 00:44:52.760
And I don't remember the exact phrase he used, but something along the lines of, because you,

691
00:44:54.760 --> 00:44:59.800
I don't know, you, he didn't say you see me like I am, but anyway, but.

692
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.000
was something along the lines of he felt actually loved,

693
00:45:05.480 --> 00:45:08.160
as opposed to just being told something

694
00:45:08.160 --> 00:45:13.160
or that he was with someone that shared his beliefs

695
00:45:13.880 --> 00:45:15.520
and things like that.

696
00:45:15.520 --> 00:45:18.160
That just kind of placate someone.

697
00:45:18.160 --> 00:45:21.460
It just kind of like smooths their feathers for a bit.

698
00:45:21.460 --> 00:45:23.480
It doesn't fix it.

699
00:45:23.480 --> 00:45:24.880
It doesn't fix the void.

700
00:45:24.880 --> 00:45:26.600
It doesn't fill the void.

701
00:45:26.600 --> 00:45:28.100
It just kind of makes someone,

702
00:45:29.100 --> 00:45:31.860
I don't know, either feel neutral

703
00:45:31.860 --> 00:45:33.780
or feel a little positive again.

704
00:45:33.780 --> 00:45:38.000
But what that's doing is, is when the person is down here,

705
00:45:38.000 --> 00:45:39.140
if you're just telling them,

706
00:45:39.140 --> 00:45:41.460
oh no, you're better than that

707
00:45:41.460 --> 00:45:43.540
and no, what they said about you isn't true

708
00:45:43.540 --> 00:45:46.740
and I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry you feel that way.

709
00:45:46.740 --> 00:45:48.540
It's either affirming them to stay down here.

710
00:45:48.540 --> 00:45:51.300
I'm so sorry you feel that way and da, da, da,

711
00:45:51.300 --> 00:45:54.040
that might kind of like smooth their feathers,

712
00:45:54.040 --> 00:45:55.480
but it won't fix anything.

713
00:45:55.480 --> 00:45:57.060
And then doing the other of like, no, no, no,

714
00:45:57.060 --> 00:45:58.540
you've got to believe that's not true.

715
00:45:58.540 --> 00:45:59.720
No, no, no, that's a lie.

716
00:45:59.720 --> 00:46:01.600
And we're trying to be underneath them,

717
00:46:01.600 --> 00:46:05.300
pushing them up to help them believe that they're spirit.

718
00:46:05.300 --> 00:46:07.380
But then that means that we're the ones

719
00:46:07.380 --> 00:46:09.020
who pushed them up there.

720
00:46:09.020 --> 00:46:11.900
So that means that they're now dependent on us

721
00:46:11.900 --> 00:46:13.340
because as soon as we move away,

722
00:46:13.340 --> 00:46:15.540
we were their support and they fall back down.

723
00:46:15.540 --> 00:46:18.100
So the next time that thing happens again, guess what?

724
00:46:18.100 --> 00:46:19.400
They can't do it for themselves.

725
00:46:19.400 --> 00:46:21.220
They don't believe it about themselves

726
00:46:21.220 --> 00:46:24.940
and they come to vent to us again

727
00:46:24.940 --> 00:46:26.980
and feel bad and sorry for themselves.

728
00:46:27.900 --> 00:46:29.740
And yet again, how good that they are.

729
00:46:29.740 --> 00:46:30.980
They need to be reminded, why?

730
00:46:30.980 --> 00:46:33.400
Because we were the only reason that they,

731
00:46:33.400 --> 00:46:34.520
that I don't know,

732
00:46:34.520 --> 00:46:37.540
they had any kind of a different emotional experience,

733
00:46:37.540 --> 00:46:39.060
but they didn't change.

734
00:46:39.060 --> 00:46:42.380
But if instead of bolstering them,

735
00:46:42.380 --> 00:46:45.540
we just talk to this person and they just tell them,

736
00:46:45.540 --> 00:46:48.180
how it is that we see them and how much we appreciate them,

737
00:46:48.180 --> 00:46:50.340
put yourself in a vulnerable and humble position,

738
00:46:50.340 --> 00:46:51.500
especially towards someone,

739
00:46:51.500 --> 00:46:53.700
which is what I was doing with them,

740
00:46:53.700 --> 00:46:56.220
and just telling them how much I received

741
00:46:56.220 --> 00:46:57.980
from his friendship and all of that.

742
00:46:57.980 --> 00:47:01.020
When I do that, then this person naturally starts

743
00:47:01.020 --> 00:47:02.300
to rise to this position

744
00:47:02.300 --> 00:47:05.380
because they start owning that belief about themselves.

745
00:47:05.380 --> 00:47:06.620
In order to feel better,

746
00:47:06.620 --> 00:47:08.980
they have to actually start believing it.

747
00:47:08.980 --> 00:47:12.060
My belief can't fix them,

748
00:47:12.060 --> 00:47:15.100
but my belief can inspire them

749
00:47:15.100 --> 00:47:18.140
to choose to believe that about themselves.

750
00:47:18.140 --> 00:47:20.580
So that's the difference.

751
00:47:20.580 --> 00:47:21.940
Is that helpful?

752
00:47:21.940 --> 00:47:24.500
Yeah, so it's kind of like a principle.

753
00:47:24.500 --> 00:47:29.060
You listen to them and you find out what do they need?

754
00:47:29.060 --> 00:47:30.660
Where are they at?

755
00:47:30.660 --> 00:47:32.140
And then you see.

756
00:47:32.140 --> 00:47:34.420
And then you give it to them.

757
00:47:34.420 --> 00:47:35.260
They need love.

758
00:47:35.260 --> 00:47:36.500
They need security.

759
00:47:37.380 --> 00:47:40.180
Unprotected, or they can be loud,

760
00:47:40.180 --> 00:47:42.300
but you need to find out what is it that they need

761
00:47:42.300 --> 00:47:44.460
and then give it to them.

762
00:47:44.460 --> 00:47:45.660
Yes.

763
00:47:45.660 --> 00:47:48.900
Basically show them a different experience.

764
00:47:48.900 --> 00:47:50.660
Write a new record for them.

765
00:47:50.660 --> 00:47:53.180
They've had, they're in real.

766
00:47:53.180 --> 00:47:54.020
Yeah.

767
00:47:54.540 --> 00:47:57.820
Their environment had affirmed a particular truth

768
00:47:57.820 --> 00:48:00.460
because they were like, oh my word, this is what happened.

769
00:48:00.460 --> 00:48:03.620
So therefore this is what is true.

770
00:48:03.620 --> 00:48:06.060
You give them a different experience

771
00:48:06.060 --> 00:48:09.540
and prove to them that what God says is actually true

772
00:48:09.540 --> 00:48:12.540
by putting it into, by creating it into reality,

773
00:48:12.540 --> 00:48:14.860
by actually loving them like God loves them.

774
00:48:15.980 --> 00:48:16.980
And then that's what changes.

775
00:48:16.980 --> 00:48:18.780
And people say that that's what,

776
00:48:18.780 --> 00:48:21.420
that that has what certain people have told me

777
00:48:21.420 --> 00:48:23.180
in hindsight that that's what affected them

778
00:48:23.180 --> 00:48:24.500
in the rest intensive.

779
00:48:24.500 --> 00:48:26.500
Is that, in fact, I had somebody tell me that

780
00:48:26.500 --> 00:48:27.620
not that long ago,

781
00:48:27.620 --> 00:48:29.660
that what helped them in the rest intensive

782
00:48:29.660 --> 00:48:32.380
was the fact that when they went through it a long time ago

783
00:48:32.380 --> 00:48:34.140
is the fact that,

784
00:48:34.140 --> 00:48:38.260
that they actually finally could experience in reality

785
00:48:38.260 --> 00:48:41.860
something they'd just heard about God was true.

786
00:48:41.860 --> 00:48:43.900
They experienced, they said, when they,

787
00:48:43.900 --> 00:48:46.060
and I was very touched when they said this,

788
00:48:46.060 --> 00:48:47.500
they experienced it, they said,

789
00:48:47.500 --> 00:48:49.540
when they interacted with me.

790
00:48:49.540 --> 00:48:51.740
Because they said it, they found out it was real.

791
00:48:51.740 --> 00:48:53.180
And they were like, oh my word.

792
00:48:53.180 --> 00:48:55.780
So it's not theory that I have to,

793
00:48:55.780 --> 00:48:56.900
that I can believe in.

794
00:48:56.900 --> 00:49:00.140
I'm actually getting to experience

795
00:49:00.140 --> 00:49:03.100
that kind of acceptance, love.

796
00:49:04.460 --> 00:49:07.020
I remember what other words they used or whatnot.

797
00:49:07.020 --> 00:49:08.660
So that it helped them realize,

798
00:49:08.660 --> 00:49:10.740
okay, apparently it really is true.

799
00:49:10.740 --> 00:49:13.140
So maybe God could be like that too.

800
00:49:13.140 --> 00:49:16.260
As opposed to them having no earthly experience

801
00:49:16.260 --> 00:49:17.660
and then trying to believe something

802
00:49:17.660 --> 00:49:20.020
that they have no concept of.

803
00:49:20.020 --> 00:49:24.020
Give them, create that reality for them here on earth.

804
00:49:24.020 --> 00:49:25.660
And I don't mean like make it up out of nothing.

805
00:49:25.660 --> 00:49:29.940
I mean like bring heaven to earth and show him, here it is.

806
00:49:29.940 --> 00:49:33.460
I will be heaven here on earth and I will show it to you.

807
00:49:33.460 --> 00:49:35.060
And that changes everything

808
00:49:35.060 --> 00:49:37.220
because it actually allows the people to,

809
00:49:37.220 --> 00:49:39.940
it helps write a new record for them

810
00:49:39.940 --> 00:49:41.420
so that they realize, okay,

811
00:49:41.420 --> 00:49:44.620
this thing that happened in earth,

812
00:49:44.620 --> 00:49:46.620
yeah, it can happen, but you know what?

813
00:49:46.620 --> 00:49:48.700
There's also this other truth.

814
00:49:48.700 --> 00:49:50.420
And this is the one that I prefer.

815
00:49:50.420 --> 00:49:52.340
But if they've never experienced this

816
00:49:52.340 --> 00:49:54.740
and they've just always been told that it's true,

817
00:49:54.740 --> 00:49:56.660
it is really hard to reach for.

818
00:49:56.660 --> 00:49:57.900
So what we're supposed to do

819
00:49:57.900 --> 00:50:00.100
is we're supposed to be that concept.

820
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.280
Except in that theory of who God is, we're supposed to be that.

821
00:50:03.780 --> 00:50:07.080
We're supposed to be that living, breathing thing that we've always heard

822
00:50:07.080 --> 00:50:08.360
that we're supposed to have faith in.

823
00:50:08.680 --> 00:50:12.480
We're supposed to be the thing that helps them finally see it.

824
00:50:13.520 --> 00:50:19.120
That's what we're here on, on earth for, even before Adam fell, we're here to

825
00:50:19.120 --> 00:50:23.880
show God that God might be seen.

826
00:50:24.720 --> 00:50:25.840
And so that's what we're doing.

827
00:50:26.280 --> 00:50:30.160
So someone is lacking something and the whole world is proving one thing to them.

828
00:50:30.160 --> 00:50:32.020
And they're having one type of inexperience.

829
00:50:32.020 --> 00:50:34.120
They need a new record.

830
00:50:34.120 --> 00:50:41.860
They need proof or another life creation experience that there is, um, that

831
00:50:41.860 --> 00:50:45.220
there's actually another truth out there and that something else actually does

832
00:50:45.220 --> 00:50:49.100
happen, not that it could in theory, somewhere out in heaven, know that

833
00:50:49.100 --> 00:50:50.220
it actually is true.

834
00:50:50.220 --> 00:50:54.640
So just remember that, um, Jesus said, or, um, John said, you

835
00:50:54.640 --> 00:50:56.080
know, the word became flesh.

836
00:50:56.440 --> 00:50:59.760
So Jesus became flesh and he's always the example for us.

837
00:50:59.760 --> 00:51:01.000
And that's what we're supposed to do.

838
00:51:01.320 --> 00:51:05.800
We are spirit one with God and we're supposed to show him.

839
00:51:06.400 --> 00:51:08.880
So when people look at us, they're supposed to see God.

840
00:51:09.880 --> 00:51:13.600
Supposed to finally experience something that they only, that they hear about on

841
00:51:13.600 --> 00:51:16.440
Sunday morning and they meet us and they're like, oh my word, it's real.

842
00:51:17.320 --> 00:51:18.480
They've never seen God.

843
00:51:18.520 --> 00:51:23.400
Most, most people, well, some people have, but, um, most people had, you know, God

844
00:51:23.400 --> 00:51:27.400
usually presents himself in the form of Jesus to people, but anyway, you know,

845
00:51:27.440 --> 00:51:31.680
most people have never seen them, but some people have, but anyway, since most

846
00:51:31.680 --> 00:51:37.640
people haven't, you know, when they run into one of us, they should finally see

847
00:51:37.640 --> 00:51:43.400
him like, oh my word, I had just only before I met you, I'd only just heard.

848
00:51:44.080 --> 00:51:48.480
About this in, in, um, from the pulpit, I'd only just heard about this on Sunday

849
00:51:48.480 --> 00:51:52.280
mornings, I'm actually finally experiencing it in real life.

850
00:51:52.840 --> 00:51:55.520
And now I can see that it's actually real.

851
00:51:56.080 --> 00:51:58.760
And now, you know, I want to be part of it.

852
00:51:58.920 --> 00:52:03.680
Now it builds my faith, you know, now I, cause I remember one time I was, uh, there

853
00:52:03.680 --> 00:52:07.240
was one gentleman that I was interacting with.

854
00:52:07.360 --> 00:52:11.480
He was, I don't know, just kind of, he was like a father to a lot of, a lot

855
00:52:11.480 --> 00:52:18.320
of people that I knew and, um, and I remember, I remember him seeing me at a

856
00:52:18.320 --> 00:52:23.000
conference, it was his conference and he just came up to me with this huge smile

857
00:52:23.000 --> 00:52:28.280
and this bear hug and, and then, and then backed off and looked at me and talked

858
00:52:28.280 --> 00:52:33.480
and, and, and I thought, oh my word, this is what it feels like to be loved by God.

859
00:52:34.200 --> 00:52:41.400
This is what it feels like to be looked at in love by, by my father, God, I'd

860
00:52:41.400 --> 00:52:46.000
never experienced that from another human being before, but he was so engrossed

861
00:52:46.000 --> 00:52:49.520
and immersed in the presence of the Lord, that that is what he lived.

862
00:52:49.800 --> 00:52:55.360
He was able to present God and show God into creation.

863
00:52:55.600 --> 00:52:58.280
And it gave me an experience of it's real.

864
00:52:59.360 --> 00:53:01.520
You know, it wasn't always something I had to have faith in.

865
00:53:01.520 --> 00:53:05.920
I finally got to experience it and that's what we're supposed to be for other people.

866
00:53:12.400 --> 00:53:15.760
Good does, um, oh, I think here's the question.

867
00:53:15.760 --> 00:53:19.120
When you start responding to a person's pain or their police, not to the last

868
00:53:19.120 --> 00:53:21.880
one, know them, do you acknowledge what they went through at all or how long

869
00:53:21.880 --> 00:53:23.600
before building them up and loving it to me?

870
00:53:23.960 --> 00:53:29.600
Um, I do sometimes, um, acknowledge it, it depends on the situation.

871
00:53:30.040 --> 00:53:33.280
Um, uh, I don't know.

872
00:53:33.800 --> 00:53:39.560
I don't, I don't, I've never quite articulated for someone how, what

873
00:53:39.560 --> 00:53:43.080
situations that I acknowledge it in and which situations I don't, it's not

874
00:53:43.080 --> 00:53:44.480
like it's the science or something.

875
00:53:44.480 --> 00:53:46.160
It's just, I just kind of feel it out.

876
00:53:46.640 --> 00:53:48.520
Um, so I do.

877
00:53:48.960 --> 00:53:55.880
Um, but I don't, I, I do it from the perspective, from the form of things

878
00:53:55.880 --> 00:54:02.800
like letting them know that if they're hurting, that is, um, uh, basically

879
00:54:02.800 --> 00:54:05.360
affirm, what are my words?

880
00:54:05.800 --> 00:54:12.720
Um, uh, letting them know that if it hurts that bad, it really is that bad.

881
00:54:13.160 --> 00:54:15.160
Like what happened to them really is that bad?

882
00:54:15.560 --> 00:54:19.560
Is it because so many other voices, including their own or try to tell them

883
00:54:19.560 --> 00:54:24.960
that, well, you know, I shouldn't feel this bad, no, if you feel that bad, it's

884
00:54:24.960 --> 00:54:31.840
because what happened to you really was that bad now, meaning like it's simply

885
00:54:31.840 --> 00:54:33.560
because it had that effect on them.

886
00:54:33.840 --> 00:54:37.280
And so I kind of like acknowledge that it kind of like, I do let them know

887
00:54:38.040 --> 00:54:44.040
that really, um, uh, kind of like affirms them and the fact that they feel that

888
00:54:44.040 --> 00:54:49.320
their, their pain is acknowledged as opposed to being devalued, um, as a pet

889
00:54:49.360 --> 00:54:51.480
and instead, and it also lets you.

890
00:54:52.000 --> 00:54:55.480
Because you're also letting someone know that you heard them because they, they

891
00:54:55.480 --> 00:54:59.520
always say that when you're listening to someone in responding, that it's important

892
00:54:59.520 --> 00:55:00.040
to first.

893
00:55:00.880 --> 00:55:06.640
respond with by repeating some of the things that they said, but in your own words,

894
00:55:06.640 --> 00:55:10.560
and then it lets them hear their own words out of your mouth and lets them know that you heard them

895
00:55:10.560 --> 00:55:15.200
many making them feel important, more special, acknowledge that their pains acknowledged or

896
00:55:15.200 --> 00:55:19.520
whatever. And then I affirm them and things like, you know, you know, I'm sorry for what it is that

897
00:55:19.520 --> 00:55:28.480
you went through. And, you know, if, and I'm so very, very sorry for the pain, and for how much

898
00:55:28.480 --> 00:55:33.280
that you have struggled and just know that if it hurts that bad, it's because what happened

899
00:55:33.280 --> 00:55:39.600
to you really was that bad. And, and so I'll, I do that, but then I move on very quickly.

900
00:55:40.240 --> 00:55:46.160
So that's pretty much about the extent that I, uh, the amount of time that I focus on it.

901
00:55:46.160 --> 00:55:52.720
I really don't focus on it much because it's going to, then it starts to, to feed those feelings

902
00:55:53.360 --> 00:56:00.880
in them. And then I move on to, um, talking, uh, to affirming them. But when I affirm them,

903
00:56:00.880 --> 00:56:07.840
I can't do it from the perspective of trying to convince them that the, that what it is that

904
00:56:07.840 --> 00:56:12.480
they've believed isn't true. And that's something else is true. That's an agenda that's trying to

905
00:56:12.480 --> 00:56:20.000
convince that's trying to send them off, you know, to deal with it on their own. No, if they're

906
00:56:20.000 --> 00:56:27.280
lacking something, I need to give it. So I love on them and I pour into them and I don't focus

907
00:56:27.280 --> 00:56:34.160
on them feeling better or them changing their mind. I give them what it is that they're missing.

908
00:56:34.160 --> 00:56:40.880
It is their choice as to whether or not they receive it and how they respond. Um, but that's

909
00:56:40.960 --> 00:56:48.400
what I do. Um, let's see. Okay. And Phil heard and seen without dwelling on the negative. Yes.

910
00:56:48.400 --> 00:56:55.120
Yeah. Um, but other people, yes. Yeah. So Lindsay said, I can see how dwelling on this situation

911
00:56:55.120 --> 00:56:59.920
can spiral into gossip about other people involved or deeper offense. Yes, absolutely.

912
00:56:59.920 --> 00:57:03.840
They're just like feeding on it. And then, and then both of you were talking about it

913
00:57:04.880 --> 00:57:10.400
or it's just encouraging them to talk about it because you're, and also, uh, by the way,

914
00:57:10.960 --> 00:57:17.280
um, usually somebody who just wants to talk about it, doesn't want to get out of it.

915
00:57:17.280 --> 00:57:26.160
They're wanting to identify as a victim. And so just FYI, um, uh, um,

916
00:57:28.400 --> 00:57:35.760
how do I, how do I say this nicely? I'm just be open in the spirit and discerning as to how much

917
00:57:35.760 --> 00:57:43.200
time you should spend, um, on that person in that, in that moment, because they're not,

918
00:57:43.200 --> 00:57:52.480
here's the point they're not usually open. So it's similar to what it is that you're trying

919
00:57:52.480 --> 00:57:58.240
to pour into them, just simply being rejected. So it's basically like, they're not someone in

920
00:57:58.240 --> 00:58:04.000
those types of situations when they're not open, they're not giving you an authority to speak into

921
00:58:04.000 --> 00:58:10.640
their life, they're rejecting. So you just kind of wait with that person, you know, while, and I

922
00:58:10.640 --> 00:58:14.080
don't mean like just in that, you can wait a while in that moment, you know, I kind of like work with

923
00:58:14.080 --> 00:58:19.120
someone for a little bit, you know, for like a, you know, just stand there for like three minutes,

924
00:58:19.120 --> 00:58:23.200
you know, five minutes, something like that. See if there's any kind of a softening,

925
00:58:23.200 --> 00:58:26.240
any kind of an opening there's usually not, but sometimes there is, you never know.

926
00:58:27.120 --> 00:58:31.680
And, um, so, uh, and then just give it a little bit of time, or it might be one of those people

927
00:58:31.680 --> 00:58:35.760
that you're around periodically. Maybe somebody is, is this way at church or somebody in your

928
00:58:35.760 --> 00:58:40.240
Bible study. So in other words, you see them periodically, you know, just kind of like,

929
00:58:40.240 --> 00:58:44.560
just allow the relationship to develop and just kind of like circle back periodically, or when

930
00:58:44.560 --> 00:58:48.960
they circle back, it's not like you have to seek them out or anything, but if they, and then just

931
00:58:48.960 --> 00:58:59.360
kind of see if there's openings, um, that, uh, I would, um, just, just be very aware that other

932
00:58:59.360 --> 00:59:06.960
people are, have to give you the authority to speak into their lives. And, um, they, uh, they

933
00:59:06.960 --> 00:59:12.240
are the authority about how much it is that they actually want to receive. Even if they want you

934
00:59:12.240 --> 00:59:16.560
to talk to them. I have so many people that want, that want me to like, just talk to them and

935
00:59:16.560 --> 00:59:21.440
whatever, but they're not open to receiving it. They're not willing to change. They're not really,

936
00:59:21.440 --> 00:59:27.920
they're not open to doing what it is that they have to do. And, um, that isn't, um, you'll,

937
00:59:27.920 --> 00:59:34.560
you'll drain out and you'll burn out. Um, and it's, it won't be healthy for you. So I just

938
00:59:34.560 --> 00:59:38.880
kind of wanted to tell you on this side of things, what kind of situations to watch out for in order

939
00:59:38.880 --> 00:59:43.600
to avoid burnout, because you're pouring into someone that actually isn't receiving what it

940
00:59:43.600 --> 00:59:49.440
is that you're saying. Uh, they just want to be seen. They just want attention. And so that they

941
00:59:49.440 --> 00:59:56.080
can continue to self-identify as a, as a victim. Um, but it is important. I, the way that I do it

942
00:59:56.080 --> 00:59:59.920
is I try to, I give it a few chances. I just kind of like circle around.

943
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.640
give them a little bit of time, you know, work up their relationships so that they trust me.

944
01:00:04.640 --> 01:00:10.720
You know, they really do realize that I love them and, and whatever, but, um, anyway, just be careful

945
01:00:10.720 --> 01:00:18.960
that you don't pour too much, pour in too much into someone, uh, before they're ready. Um, because

946
01:00:18.960 --> 01:00:23.760
she'll just, you'll burn out, you'll get discouraged. Not only can they get irritated,

947
01:00:23.760 --> 01:00:29.280
but even if they're not irritated, they can start pulling on you. They can start attaching to you

948
01:00:29.280 --> 01:00:34.000
and, um, when really they're not receiving what it is that you're offering, they're not

949
01:00:34.000 --> 01:00:40.560
treating it appropriately. It's casting pearls before swine. And you want to protect what it is

950
01:00:40.560 --> 01:00:45.840
that, that, um, that you're offering to them. And there's a manner of speaking, which you want to

951
01:00:45.840 --> 01:00:49.920
protect them too, because if they're just not ready, hearing the wrong, hearing the right

952
01:00:49.920 --> 01:00:56.800
message at the wrong time can, can actually hurt someone and it can make them a bit more resistant.

953
01:00:56.800 --> 01:01:01.840
If it rebellious can kind of like harden them a little bit. And, um, sometimes it can even make

954
01:01:01.840 --> 01:01:10.400
their journey to risk receiving, um, kindness from the Lord longer and harder. So anyway, you do want

955
01:01:10.400 --> 01:01:14.960
to make sure that you give someone a chance and love on him and whatever, but I just kind of want

956
01:01:14.960 --> 01:01:20.880
to let everybody know, um, that, uh, um, I don't know, just that, that kind of thought for whatever

957
01:01:20.880 --> 01:01:24.560
reason, it popped into my head. I've actually don't think I've ever talked on here about that

958
01:01:24.560 --> 01:01:29.440
at all. But, um, uh, because as much as I talk about all these things, oh, no, I already need

959
01:01:29.440 --> 01:01:35.040
to see somebody for who it is that God says that they are needed, whatever. We're not understand

960
01:01:35.040 --> 01:01:41.840
that other people get to choose what, how much of what it is that you're pouring out that they're

961
01:01:41.840 --> 01:01:46.720
going to, that they're, that they received. That's not up to you. Um, so I was just kind of giving

962
01:01:46.800 --> 01:01:55.200
you some landmarks to kind of look, look for, um, all right. So, and it is 10. So, um, unless

963
01:01:55.200 --> 01:02:00.400
someone just has an absolute burning question, but someone would need a way really quickly,

964
01:02:01.120 --> 01:02:07.840
um, then we will actually finish on time. So does anyone have anything or are we good for tonight?

965
01:02:08.800 --> 01:02:13.280
So it felt like it went by very fast today. It was probably because I was doing all the talking

966
01:02:13.520 --> 01:02:20.960
for y'all. Maybe it was a lot slower. All right. Well, it's good to see everybody and

967
01:02:20.960 --> 01:02:24.480
Renata. It's so good to get to see you. Thank you for coming.

968
01:02:25.200 --> 01:02:28.640
Good to see you guys. Good to have this community. Thank you.

969
01:02:28.640 --> 01:02:40.080
Good to see you. Bye everyone. Bye.