Thank you.
Hello, Ashley.
Hey, Chris. How are you?
Good.
And I was.
Oh, you're riding it. Yay.
I look forward to reading it.
So you said that you've been tired I'm sorry.
Well, that's okay. I mean, feeling, I'm feeling okay today it's so busy at work.
So busy new programs, you know, really new things, but it's good.
And there's we're not.
Yeah.
Okay. I know.
She's connecting at three in the morning.
Oh, wow.
That's commitment.
I know, I know that's what I thought.
And by the way, how am I streaming Am I freezing or am I okay. You're okay.
Okay, just froze for a minute.
Hello.
I'm excited that you came.
Good to see you guys. Yeah.
So, did you stay up or did you go to sleep and then wake up.
I went to sleep.
We, it's better to get a couple of two, three hours of sleep first.
Then, just get up and then you just get up it's you get, it's okay and then. Yeah.
Yeah, you go back to sleep.
Yes, I'm going to go back to sleep afterwards. Yeah.
Yeah.
Trying to make sure that my internet is working.
Yeah, you're kind of.
You're frozen.
No.
So strange.
Yeah.
Well,
when I watched the replay last time, and notice that I kept freezing and things, and I don't know what is going on. So with my internet.
So anyway, because I didn't used to be doing that so I was just trying to make sure that I could like, except for this time and now.
Such a bummer, which I knew what was going on, because I'm directly plugged into the directly plugged into the ethernet, and yet I'm still seem to be having a hard time so.
Oh well.
So why are you able to make it we're not it, are you.
Do you have work tomorrow or not.
Tomorrow I don't.
Tomorrow I can rest, but last time it affected me for three days afterwards.
And if I'm going to do it on Mondays, I have to get up at 630 in the morning.
So, I was thinking if I'm going to do it on Monday I need a little bit more faith.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, I think she's breaking up.
Yeah, freezing.
freezing quite a bit. Yeah.
Yeah.
Um,
you're breaking up we can't hear you.
Oh, that's good.
So y'all can hear me.
Okay.
So we can't hear you either. I'm going to make sure we can.
So I
computer, try to
hear
you Casey, Rita.
Rita. Hey, guys.
Are we in break rooms?
No, I think she's having problems with the internet.
She keeps freezing.
Oh, yeah.
I wonder if she can hear us.
Can you hear us Ashley?
Oh, there she is.
That looks like frozen again.
Wait, she gave me, let's see.
Hey, darn.
She's making, so Chris, I sent you a here.
Yeah, I just saw it.
Would you open the participant menu and let people including
me back in?
Okay, the participant.
Yeah.
Okay.
Thank you.
Oh, Lindsay's.
Okay.
I'm going to let Lindsay in.
Okay.
Hi, Lindsay.
Ashley is having computer issues.
So she's having me let people in.
So she's probably going to.
Want to be let into.
She's going to restart her computer and try to reboot the internet.
Chris, are you going to answer all of our questions tonight?
Oh, yeah.
The best.
No, I thought you would.
Yeah, I'm going to let you in.
Yeah.
Well, I'll tell you about a very interesting experience.
I had this morning.
I was lying in bed and I just felt almost felt physically the pressure
on my chest of the burden of all the things I have to do.
And so I just it was like I, you know, surrendered it to the Lord.
And then, you know, told him that I choose him and not the outcomes.
And then I went back to sleep.
And then when I got up, it was like he said to me, don't look at your,
you know, your the things you have to do are not a burden.
They're a joy.
They're things, you know, they're things that I really enjoy doing all
of them.
So it was really cool.
I felt joyful after that.
That's amazing.
Yeah, honey.
That was cool.
Okay.
I just filled in Ashley while you were out.
Thank you.
I'm glad you did.
Thanks for being the host for a bit.
So I hope it doesn't freeze on me anymore.
I don't know.
We're good now.
Okay.
So I'm wondering if I don't know, I think I may have figured out what's
going on, but I'm not quite sure.
So anyway, we'll just pray over it.
But so I was thinking to say, I don't remember.
I hope everybody's doing good.
And we have Renata with us.
Very excited.
Three in the morning.
She is officially the most committed.
Thanks.
I really wanted to be here.
Yeah.
We're so excited that you joined us.
Yeah, it's just, you know, that the Facebook group is great and all of
that, but when you can have this, you can all interact.
It's just, it's just something different.
So good.
Well, so does anyone have anything to start us out with any questions,
anything that's been coming up this week or anything, you know, positive
that you see the Lord, you know, that I don't remember if it was during
the rest group on Sunday or if it was the previous fireside chat we were
talking about.
I think it was the rest group we were talking about, you know, the
importance of of I don't know.
Maybe it was last fireside chat point is when we were talking about, you
know, like celebrating things we were talking about focusing on finding
the Lord in everything instead of always what it is that we want to get
out of but rather what are we now?
What are we now seeing of God every day and looking at life more from
where are we seeing the Lord?
in our lives instead of what is, what is happening to me.
And then why won't God help me, help me out, move things,
change things, you know, whatnot.
And so, but rather what are we seeing of the,
of his character being manifested?
How are we seeing him actually expressed to us
and manifest into our lives who he actually is?
So I'm kind of like putting into the physical,
but he already is in the spiritual.
So does anyone have anything,
something like that or a question or just whatever
by this time?
Y'all know the, you know, the routine.
I like to just remind you of it
every time I get on there for whatever reason.
Same spiel.
Okay, so I have a question.
It might be super basic
and it might be something we've already covered,
but I've just, I've come across it a lot this week
and I'm struggling to,
so, you know, I'm, I'm feeling kind of this week,
especially probably because the new year's coming
and there's like things I'm putting into place
of like what I want to be accomplishing next year
and all that stuff.
And I'm feeling like a lot of resistance towards things,
lack of motivation, lack of energy,
physically, mentally, emotionally, kind of every level.
And I'm trying to discern, you know,
is that something the Lord is trying to,
like, is it an end of a season?
I guess my question is when you come across
that type of resistance
where it kind of feels at every level,
but yet you still can't understand
why you feel a certain way,
how do you decide?
And maybe I'm just asking for like insight
on maybe your own journey,
if you've come across this,
like when to kind of push through,
like bear the pain and push through
because there's like breakthrough needs to take place
or kind of overcoming that needs to take place.
And when do you know
that this is actually something I need to let go of,
like it's the end of something
or it's something I shouldn't be carrying?
Generally speaking,
there's, now I might come up with some kind of a reason
why you would phrase it this way,
but right now we'll just say
there's no reason to push through
because really we don't,
there's something that we're actually not,
that we actually have to deal with
as opposed to just like,
well, just push through.
It's there's some kind of an internal resistance
that we actually,
that we're just being notified by our feelings
that we're believing something or whatever.
Now, it could be the Lord too.
So, but my point is that it's all kind of like,
there's still, if it's the Lord who's doing it,
like the Lord who's creating resistance,
well, then there's some reason why we're resisting that.
So anyway, we just kind of need to let the,
the process will go easier
if we just kind of let the pressure off.
And the way to start letting the pressure off
is to stop thinking,
okay, there's something I'm supposed to accomplish
and do I just need to just bulldoze my way through it
and just do it?
I recommend doing things like separating
the soul from the spirit
and allowing the soul to have its say,
allowing you to really focus on what is it
that you really feel about it?
What do you really wanna do?
At the end of the day,
without trying to muddy the waters,
what does God want?
What does my spirit know it's supposed to do?
Am I having faith?
Am I not having faith?
Just what is it that you,
is just kind of like a really weird way to phrase this,
but it's just a way that I can think of
to just to hopefully drive a point home
and differentiate it from everything else.
What feels very primal in you?
What feelings are coming out of that
versus me talking about like,
well, I don't know,
what is it that you really feel in there?
Because there's also,
we're really actually spirit.
And so sometimes I refer to that when I'm talking about,
what feels like you when you express yourself?
It feels like life coming up with you.
So I'm talking about something a little different
and talking about like,
okay, so if you were to kind of figure out
kind of way through the feelings, figure out,
okay, well, what feels very primal?
What makes me feel very earthly, very natural?
And then what are those feelings?
Like, oh, well, right now,
when I'm thinking about having to do such and such
in the coming year,
or we've considered doing such and such in the next year,
or it's been presented to me to do such and such,
I don't know, whatever pressures you're putting on yourself,
what is it that you actually,
what are your primal instincts?
Like, I don't want to say animal instincts
because we're not animals, but it's that type of an idea.
What is just that very earth sense
where you're not trying to be good?
You're just, if you were given the opportunity
to do whatever the heck you wanted to do.
very base level, what are those feelings? And then, and then, and then just kind of be honest
with yourself about why. Now you can go through a very big, long process and you're very familiar
with this because you teach it in your class about going to seven layers deep of why, why, why.
You can do that, but you can also, I find that I don't always have to do that in these types
of situations in order to try to get breakthrough for like making a decision. And so it can
be faster than that is, is my point in this, in these types of situations. And you just kind of
like, let your soul have it say, and just kind of explain itself and just really kind of allow
yourself to feel what it is that you feel. You're not feeding it. You're basically trying to access
yourself and give yourself attention. Give yourself acknowledgement, you know, acknowledge
who it is that you really are because you're, you you're that way, whether you're acknowledging it
or not. So there's nothing wrong in acknowledging and there's nothing wrong in feeling it and being
aware of it. It's just kind of whatever. So my point is that when you do that, then it kind of
starts quieting down and you become, and then you become much more aware of yourself because our soul
is an aspect of herself and that'll help kind of clarify things. And all of this dust that's
flowing around in the air will just kind of start settling down. And then you look at the spirit
side. So after the soul has had it say, well, then you just focus on the spirit and you just think
of, okay, well, now that the soul is quiet, what is it that, you know, where am I? And well, there's
different ways to do this. One of the things is you can just, just sense in the spirit. What is
it that I sense, but what you always want to, well, sorry, I'm trying to figure out how to,
how to read this. You, then you want to make sure to shift into your spirit, you know, shift into
rest. Remember that shift into the Lord. Remember that, that you abide in him. You're one with him.
You're in union with him. And then from that place, it's easier to hear him. And it's easier
to recognize, you know, obviously your spirit that's one with him, what it's feeling, what it's
believing, what it's feeling, the leading and the freedom to have faith in. So then you can start
figuring out or, or what freedom you have to not do the thing as opposed to, oh, well, you're just
afraid to do this thing because you just don't have enough faith. And if you, and then when you
listen to your spirit, you know, you feel your urging and your spirit to have enough faith.
Sometimes it's actually not what we, what we realize in the spirit. Sometimes what we realize
in the spirit is going on is God's just like, what do you want to do? Do you want to do that? Do you
not want to do that? But in the spirit, not from the soul, what does the soul want to do? Because
it's afraid. Okay. Let me back up. If the soul wasn't afraid, what does the soul want to do?
The soul can, the soul still good. The soul wants good things, but it just needs to be operating
from the heart of God, instead of from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
So the thing is that once you get all of the negative aspects of the soul, you know,
just kind of acknowledged and dealt with and like realized, then, then you might find when you shift
into the spirit that it's not that. And you're like, okay, Lord, now that I've laid down what it
is. So that's another way that I can express it to is you in order to shift into rest, remember
you have to emotionally remove your, uh, emotionally release God from the outcome.
Like what does God want to do? So then once you really emotionally release them from the outcome,
then it's clearer to actually hear what outcome he's giving you. And that's my point. Once you
get to that place and you're like, okay, Lord, I'm open now. Now, truly you can tell me by the way,
what will help everybody. And this is what helps me. It helps me shift into rest in those
situations, especially when you find yourself in situations like Lindsay's talking about where
there's so much resistance. What if that resistance is coming from you? It's really hard to shift into
rest in situations in which you're like, I really don't want to know what God's telling me because
I really don't want to do the thing that I think he's telling me, you know? So if it's easier to,
it's easier to do that. If you realize that all you're doing here is an exercise,
you're just finding out the truth. You're not committing yourself to act on it.
So we all know that at the end of the day, we want to do what the Lord wants us to do,
but in help yourself to shift into being able to more clearly hear the Lord and to stand, to stop,
to stop clouding, um, um, his, his talking to you with all of the resistance that you've got,
just kind of do that by just telling yourself, you know what I've, this thing that I don't want
to do, I can still decide to not do it, but I'm just going to put it here for a second.
You know, I can pick it up later if I want to, but I'm going to put it down for now,
like literally completely release it. Give yourself permission to pick it up,
back up in five minutes if you want to.
But let it go. You can't hold on to it. And you're like, well, I'm not saying I'm going to act on this Lord, but I'm going to hold it.
While you talk to me, you can't do that. You won't be able to hear him. You have to actually let it go permanently, but you know where you put it and you know how to pick it back up.
So that's, that's helps me is to remember I'm just doing an exercise. I'm not committing myself to now do what it is that I what God tells what I discovered that God wants me to do.
That will help you because you don't feel that you don't feel threatened by a final decision.
So, anyway, so just put it, just put it down. And, and most of the time you're not going to want to go pick it back up, but you've given yourself permission to put to, to put it where you know that it is, and you can allow yourself to pick it back up
in five minutes if you want to. Anyway, so once you do that, and then you shift into you, you emotionally release the Lord from the outcome, you emotionally release, release the Lord from whatever it is he tells you to do.
You're like, God, whatever it is, you're going to protect me, whatever it is you're going to provide for me.
It's all going to be fine. And, and then what do you hear from the heart of the Lord. And sometimes you might hear, hey, do this, I'm inviting you child to believe in me in faith to stretch this far.
And that might be it. But what you might hear instead is God saying, what do you want to do the freedom that I'm giving you in the invitation that I'm offering you is what do you want to do.
So we're co collaborating here I'm fathering you and teaching you how to have an opinion, how to mature your will. And then so you come to the table with your ideas, and I'll tell you whether or not you know that's a good idea to do it.
And whether or not I want to, I want to do what you want to do this time, simply, sometimes just to give you the opportunity to finally for me to finally partner with you in accomplishing something that you wanted, as opposed to you it to in other words
to break this idea off of you that you always have to do what I want to do and you never get to do what you want to do. And that my ideas are always the only right ones.
And there and you have no significance. And so, so anyway, you never know what God wants to do in a particular situation but do anyway, and in that place you can more clearly here you're here as well if God gives you that freedom and that invitation
of hey well what would you like to do. I want to give you the opportunity to express yourself in some way and I will partner with you and we'll do it together.
And so now in more that place once you've now emotionally released God from the outcome you've actually, you've, you've released so much that you can more clearly hear yourself, and you can more clearly here.
This is what I actually really want to do. I really actually want to do this thing over here but I was just afraid I was afraid that I would fail or I was afraid that whatever that was just your soul talking that you find out that this actually is what
God wants to do. And it wasn't God who told you, you couldn't, even though you were afraid of it and you were afraid of your fear. You actually wanted to do it but you couldn't hear it because just too much noise.
So, is that helpful.
Okay.
Right. So I probably gave a lot there I knew what I was saying and I could see it all but I hope it wasn't confusing for everybody because I was pointing out like several different things.
All right. So does anyone have anything else.
I haven't said hi to read in Casey and liberty yet.
Well I hadn't said hi to Lindsay either.
I just talked to talk to Lindsay but I didn't say hi, we dove right in. That's right.
Hello.
Let me figure out my life.
Well, no one's gotten anything I could try to find something. I thought I'd written sitting down the other day.
I can go.
Yeah.
I've been thinking about I've been watching a governing creation in relationship, and a few things.
One of the thing is, you don't want to confirm people when they're saying they're struggling and they need confirmation on on that like they want to hear you validate them yes that's horrible.
And I was thinking, that's kind of a lot of what we do, and that's how we make us feel met on our emotions like then you feel emotionally met when someone says oh I understand you that's horrible that should never have happened.
So, I thought about, like, how, how do you do relationships.
When that's what people want from you and that's what they need.
You spoke about it in the video but also it's just you could elaborate.
And I also thought about another thing that I learned.
Both of these things are things that I've thought,
I actually thought it was like valuable.
Like if, like from a therapist view, like,
oh, you're actually meeting the people
and the person's emotions and validating their emotions.
And also I thought about,
I was thinking, like I was saying in my journey share,
how would you act if you're free?
How do you, would you treat a certain person like with me?
It's a very good person that I'm struggling with.
But then I thought on the other side,
I've learned like in therapy,
like it's very important with emotions
and very important to be allowed to be mad,
to have feelings, to be mad as long as you need to.
How do you get those two to come together?
Because the thing that's coming in me now
is like a lot of emotions.
Like I'm really, really mad at that person.
And emotional reaction.
And a lot of things that I'm kind of having to work through,
but then, okay, on the other hand,
it's good to think if I'm free,
how would I treat that person?
But I'm actually super mad at the person.
Yeah.
And that kind of crushes,
because one part of it is like,
you just want to be mad and you think,
I've learned that that's really healthy
as long as you don't sin.
But on the other hand, it's like,
but if I was totally free and I saw the person
the way God sees the person,
then I would, I don't know.
For some, I think it's wide.
So I've thought about those two things when it comes to-
Yeah.
It's a really good question.
I'm going to start with the second question first.
When you're talking about, well, I mean, they tie.
They tie in.
So I'll end up talking about both.
But as far as like being mad,
they're,
it's in like,
what we really kind of want to get to eventually
is in this process is when we're mad,
we don't want to use it to emotionally attack the person.
Now, I don't mean like physically,
like we're like,
I'm just talking in your own heart.
We don't want to physically,
sorry, we don't want to emotionally attack them,
emotionally judge, emotionally judge them,
emotionally, I don't know, hurt them.
Without, I'm not,
we're talking about in your own heart,
in your own house, they're nowhere near you.
That's not something that we want to do,
but we can, there in being mad,
there is an aspect of sometimes we're mad
because we're actually grieving.
We're grieving what happened to us
because it wasn't kind, it wasn't fair,
it wasn't gentle, it wasn't godly,
it wasn't deserving,
meaning like it doesn't reflect the value
that God places on us.
And so there's kind of like this processing
that we just kind of go through as human beings
of trying to deal with something that's happened to us
that is in, that is not in alignment
with who God says that we are.
And so that's fine to process,
but what we want to ask the Lord to help us with
is to not be taking that, those feelings,
and directing them emotionally in judgment
and condemnation of the other person.
So we don't want our being mad at them
to actually be, for us to be using our anger
emotionally directed towards them
where we're condemning them to ourselves.
We're like, yes, they're horrible, they're bad,
why did they do this and die?
And oh my goodness, they're lesser and they're X, Y, and Z.
We don't want to use it to pass judgment on someone else,
but that doesn't mean that you can't be mad
and that you can't go through this emotional processing
in and of yourself.
We just don't want to direct it towards someone else,
towards the end of actually condemning them with our anger.
If that makes any sense.
And then as, and so that's why we,
and then along with that,
we always want to see them the way that God sees them.
And God doesn't see them in such a way
that of judging towards condemnation.
But we can see them in truth.
So just because there's something that someone is,
we can see things that other people do
and truthfully and discerningly understand that that wasn't,
that that was, maybe sometimes we can understand,
oh, well, that's not of the flesh, that was of the spirit.
I can't believe they acted that way or said those things
or whatever.
everyone, we can, we can come to understand things about other
people, and therefore make sure to only interact with them in a
particular way, and not interact with them at others, because we
don't trust how they respond in these other situations. We don't
trust ourselves with them, we may not feel that they're
responsible with many, we may not feel that they're
responsible with our emotions, we may not feel that they're
responsible with, I don't know, our presence, whatever. And, and
so therefore, we don't have, we're not obligated to give that
to them. But that's very, so we can still have what we refer to
as boundaries with people, it'd be like, you know what, I'm
going to choose whether or not I involve, to what degree I
involve myself with this person. I will, I choose in my own free
will that I will do these types of things, but I won't do these
types of things. And that's how someone, a friend of Ed's
describes his boundaries. And I loved that I was because I was
really struggling with like, how on earth would you describe
and how we are supposed to have boundaries, but I don't believe
in them in the same, I don't believe them to, to be an
operation in the same way that most people talk about
boundaries, because most people talk about boundaries of like
keeping other people from doing things to them. And I'm just
like, okay, people, that's ridiculous. For one people,
that's not our for, for one, for, for one thing that's not
our, we don't have control over other people. And so, but there
what is this aspect of boundary? So what is that? It's
you choosing as an, as a free will agent, what will you be?
What will you allow in your life? And what will you not
because of the life that you've determined you will have? And
what it is that you want? In other words, you're operating
here, it's a boundaries from an offensive position, instead of a
defensive position, what you're trying to protect yourself
against, rather, it's know what is going to protect how I'm
moving forward in the world, and that versus what is keeping
me from that. And so we can be discerning of people without
condemning them, because of what we know. In fact, let me find
it. Bill Johnson just had something today that I thought
was really good. It was a little someone had posted or will he
post, I guess, sometime, maybe today, I don't know, I just
thought today came through my newsfeed today. And it's this,
it's, it's this little video clip. And, and what he wrote as
a, in a, on top of the video clip was one of the three
biggest challenges in ministry, and that he's just using
ministry, but we can just say, oh, interactions with people.
One of the biggest challenges in ministry is to go into dark
places without taking on the offenses of those we are there
to serve. I believe it's one of the things that keeps us from
having the measure of cultural impact that the Lord desires
for us. Bitterness is contaminating in nature, and we
must be intentional not to pick up the offenses of those around
us. And he's obviously talking about ministering to people
who've extreme who've been through very, very bad things,
and you're trying to help them through it. But the it's the
same kind of an idea of like, how do we how to review other
people and he's saying is very important that we make sure to
not in not taking up offenses for other people that we don't
that we don't judge or condemn other people. But we with from
and from the fact that we know things, we can know things. And
we can act on that knowledge is in like, okay, well, I'm going
to allow myself to be this close to this person, and I'm not
going to allow myself to be that close to that person. But
that's very different than judging them as a human being
judging their value. And so it's important to always see the
person not according to how they're presenting themselves is
if they believe that they're their soul or their body and
then brokenness and in fear and insecurity and whatever, but we
actually see who it is that they are in spirit. And that's who we
interact with. That's who how we interact, we see them and
interact with them according to their value. But again, it
doesn't mean that that you I don't know, somebody who doesn't
know how to handle money, well, you still see them as God sees
them. And you don't condemn them or judge them for that. I mean,
judge them as far as like condemn them. But you're being
very discerning and very aware and wise as a serpent, as God
says, being innocent, as does as wise as serpents. And you just
don't give them you just don't entrust them with any of your
money, you know, or any of your time or any of your emotions or
whatever. But it's very different than judging, meaning
condemning them as a person. So is that?
Yeah, you can be mad and deal with the emotions that come up.
And think like, okay, this is what I want to give to this
person. And this is what I don't want.
to give and then see them as God sees them and love them and treat them.
Yeah.
What do you want to be part of your life?
Yeah.
And what do you not want to be part of your life and, um, that, that person has
to offer and then, uh, and then yes, it's just, God says, you know, that, that he
said, we can be anger, just not, he said, just don't sin in your, if we can be
anger, we can be angry, we can have anger, but just don't sin in your anger.
Um, and he's obviously referring to the fact we can't like judge or condemn or,
you know, how, what is it, what's the source of our anger and where are we
directing it?
Because remember he says that even if we have anger in our heart towards our
brother, we've already murdered him.
And that's kind of a really serious statement.
So, but God gave us anger.
Jesus was angry.
You know, he had times that he was angry.
So, and that's something that we refer to obviously as is righteous anger.
And then remember also anger itself is not a sin.
It's why are you angry and what are you doing with it?
So, like I said, sometimes we're, we're angry and it's just, it's indicating to
us that we've got a process that we're going through of, of where things are
adjusting of what is it, what have we been presented with?
What is it that we believe?
How are we being triggered?
And we need a process through that.
But anyway, so it's similar to remember Jesus being in the garden of Gethsemane
and he said, and he was struggling and he said, you know, the spirit is willing,
but the flesh is weak.
So even Jesus struggled, but it, what did he, what did he decide on?
What did he end up doing?
What it is that he ended up choosing and believing and having faith in is
what caused him to not sin.
But it, but there's still that clash of, of soul and, and spirit,
you know, a flesh and spirit.
And that's sometimes what our anger is revealing to us that
there's this dissonance.
There's this unalignment.
There's this disalignment either within ourselves or of how we're viewing
something that's happening on the outside of what it is that we believe
is appropriate in God's kingdom.
And so you're just kind of going through a process.
And like I said, sometimes, um, anger is grief that you've been treated a
particular way that, um, something happened that was unjust, it was unfair.
And again, it's not in alignment with the kingdom of God, and sometimes
it can just make us angry, but we don't want to condemn ourselves,
God, or anyone else in that anger.
So, but, but anger, like any other emotion is just an indication to us
of what it is that we're believing.
So it's a thermometer.
It's not a thermostat.
It's just, it's just letting us know something's there, but
the feeling itself isn't a sin.
It's letting us know that we're believing something.
So it's really the belief that we're dealing with.
It's really the belief itself that we're wanting to deal with, not the emotion.
So an emotional symbol will change as a result of a change in belief.
I mean, it'll change immediately.
So anyway, is that helpful?
Yeah.
And, and the other part, uh, when people need confirmation,
do you want to elaborate on it or?
Oh, yeah.
Um, so as an example, um, uh, I remember, I remember one time I was, and this
is just a personal story.
One time I was visiting with a gentleman who was telling me that he had, um, uh,
he'd been very hurt by some people and I don't know, just, it's been a while now.
It's probably been two or three years now, but, um, and he was just, uh, and
he was very hurt, felt very betrayed, very personally attacked.
And instead of me telling him, oh, you are absolutely right.
They, you know, I'm so sorry that that, that, that was told to you because
you don't deserve it and that's not true.
And I didn't want to focus on the truth or lie that was being spoken to him
necessarily, because that would just get him more wild up, more entrenched in his
belief, more entrenched in what it is that he was feeling about it.
And so instead I knew that it didn't really, that if he was secure in himself
and if he felt loved, and if he felt affirmed, then what it is that he, that
those people said wouldn't have hurt him or it wouldn't have hurt him as much.
So really the issue was the fact that he was feeling unloved.
So I thought, okay, what I need to do then.
is loving. If that's what he's lacking right now. And that's in the lack of that is causing
him to feel and, and respond the way he is. Then I need to love him. I need to actually
give him love, not convince himself to somehow find love out of his circumstances or situations.
No, I need to give it to him. If we want something for someone else, we are the sacrifice. We
have to offer it. We have to love. We have to not abandon. We have to do it. We have
to be the thing that we want for someone else. Case in point, Jesus was talking to, um, I
think it was Jesus who was telling the story and not, not someone else. Um, where he said,
you know, if, if, uh, if a man comes to you and says, you know, I'm, I'm, you know, I'm
hungry and I'm cold. Don't, don't just send them on their way, you know, saying, oh, well,
I'll pray for you. And, and I hope that God, you know, takes care of you and my thoughts
are with you and all that. He said, no, feed them, give them the coat. He didn't say he,
he basically was saying, don't send them to God, be God to them. In other words, God is
in you and it's in your one in spirit. So give him the spirit of the Lord within you
and offer that to him because that's what they're needing. If you send them off, they're
probably not going to get it, but if you give it to them, they'll have it right now. They
don't have to wait for it. So God said, you know, don't send them away. Um, and, uh, so
that's what I did with this guy. And, um, I was just kind of talked to him and was just
saying, uh, well, my goodness, I don't remember what I said, but I didn't talk anything about,
about, oh yeah, that's terrible that, that you went through that or whatever. I just
said, you know, what I so appreciate about you is how you always handle situations like
this. And, um, and you know, I can see in how you handle that. I can see the love of
the Lord in you. And I've always been very blessed by that. I've always been felt, um,
you know, when I need, when, um, I don't know, trying to, trying to remember some of the
conversation again, it was like two years ago, but it, it was just kind of things like
that. It was like, whenever I'm, I'm needing these types of things, this is how you affect
me when you speak to me out of it, out of your spirit. And this is the things that I've
just kind of, that I've noticed about you. And I was building in and I just, I so appreciate
what it is that I see of the Lord in you. And I'm not telling, and I had to tell him
things that I really believed that I really felt, not that I believe to be true as if
it was some law that's written out there, but me personally and how I viewed him, this
is how I saw him. This is, this is an aspect of my relationship with him that had built
up that I was finally telling him about. And so, um, anyway, I was just, uh, I would just
tell him all of these things, but they were things related to the fact that I needed to
express my love for him, not in efforts that he would be convinced and feel loved because
that's an agenda. We can't be going at this, trying to get someone to, in hopes that someone's
going to feel something or respond in a particular way, or finally have the thing that we wish
that they would have. We can't focus on that as an agenda. We can't focus on what it is
that they're getting out of it. All we have to focus on is us giving them the thing that
we see that they're lacking. It can't be, I hope they're getting this. I hope it's working.
I hope they're feeling it. I hope they're finally convinced we can't, they cannot be the focus.
We are our focus. We, if they are needing love, we need to focus on loving them and loving on them
and pouring into them. And that will completely change everything. So during that conversation,
he said, I was talking to him about all those types of things, meaning like,
you know, how much I appreciated him. And they, it was relevant to the topic. Understand he had
shared it with me. And then I wasn't like going off topic somewhere. I just didn't address the
things that they'd said to him and how they weren't right. And how those were lies and how
those things must have hurt. I just focused though on, on the fact that he was telling me,
he was hurt. My friend was going through a really hard time. So I was pouring into that person.
I was building up that person to let that person know, this is how I see you.
And it, and it, and it, the dynamic of the conversation totally changed. And he said,
Ashley, he said, this is why I call you. This is, this is why I call you when I need something.
And I don't remember the exact phrase he used, but something along the lines of, because you,
I don't know, you, he didn't say you see me like I am, but anyway, but.
was something along the lines of he felt actually loved,
as opposed to just being told something
or that he was with someone that shared his beliefs
and things like that.
That just kind of placate someone.
It just kind of like smooths their feathers for a bit.
It doesn't fix it.
It doesn't fix the void.
It doesn't fill the void.
It just kind of makes someone,
I don't know, either feel neutral
or feel a little positive again.
But what that's doing is, is when the person is down here,
if you're just telling them,
oh no, you're better than that
and no, what they said about you isn't true
and I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry you feel that way.
It's either affirming them to stay down here.
I'm so sorry you feel that way and da, da, da,
that might kind of like smooth their feathers,
but it won't fix anything.
And then doing the other of like, no, no, no,
you've got to believe that's not true.
No, no, no, that's a lie.
And we're trying to be underneath them,
pushing them up to help them believe that they're spirit.
But then that means that we're the ones
who pushed them up there.
So that means that they're now dependent on us
because as soon as we move away,
we were their support and they fall back down.
So the next time that thing happens again, guess what?
They can't do it for themselves.
They don't believe it about themselves
and they come to vent to us again
and feel bad and sorry for themselves.
And yet again, how good that they are.
They need to be reminded, why?
Because we were the only reason that they,
that I don't know,
they had any kind of a different emotional experience,
but they didn't change.
But if instead of bolstering them,
we just talk to this person and they just tell them,
how it is that we see them and how much we appreciate them,
put yourself in a vulnerable and humble position,
especially towards someone,
which is what I was doing with them,
and just telling them how much I received
from his friendship and all of that.
When I do that, then this person naturally starts
to rise to this position
because they start owning that belief about themselves.
In order to feel better,
they have to actually start believing it.
My belief can't fix them,
but my belief can inspire them
to choose to believe that about themselves.
So that's the difference.
Is that helpful?
Yeah, so it's kind of like a principle.
You listen to them and you find out what do they need?
Where are they at?
And then you see.
And then you give it to them.
They need love.
They need security.
Unprotected, or they can be loud,
but you need to find out what is it that they need
and then give it to them.
Yes.
Basically show them a different experience.
Write a new record for them.
They've had, they're in real.
Yeah.
Their environment had affirmed a particular truth
because they were like, oh my word, this is what happened.
So therefore this is what is true.
You give them a different experience
and prove to them that what God says is actually true
by putting it into, by creating it into reality,
by actually loving them like God loves them.
And then that's what changes.
And people say that that's what,
that that has what certain people have told me
in hindsight that that's what affected them
in the rest intensive.
Is that, in fact, I had somebody tell me that
not that long ago,
that what helped them in the rest intensive
was the fact that when they went through it a long time ago
is the fact that,
that they actually finally could experience in reality
something they'd just heard about God was true.
They experienced, they said, when they,
and I was very touched when they said this,
they experienced it, they said,
when they interacted with me.
Because they said it, they found out it was real.
And they were like, oh my word.
So it's not theory that I have to,
that I can believe in.
I'm actually getting to experience
that kind of acceptance, love.
I remember what other words they used or whatnot.
So that it helped them realize,
okay, apparently it really is true.
So maybe God could be like that too.
As opposed to them having no earthly experience
and then trying to believe something
that they have no concept of.
Give them, create that reality for them here on earth.
And I don't mean like make it up out of nothing.
I mean like bring heaven to earth and show him, here it is.
I will be heaven here on earth and I will show it to you.
And that changes everything
because it actually allows the people to,
it helps write a new record for them
so that they realize, okay,
this thing that happened in earth,
yeah, it can happen, but you know what?
There's also this other truth.
And this is the one that I prefer.
But if they've never experienced this
and they've just always been told that it's true,
it is really hard to reach for.
So what we're supposed to do
is we're supposed to be that concept.
Except in that theory of who God is, we're supposed to be that.
We're supposed to be that living, breathing thing that we've always heard
that we're supposed to have faith in.
We're supposed to be the thing that helps them finally see it.
That's what we're here on, on earth for, even before Adam fell, we're here to
show God that God might be seen.
And so that's what we're doing.
So someone is lacking something and the whole world is proving one thing to them.
And they're having one type of inexperience.
They need a new record.
They need proof or another life creation experience that there is, um, that
there's actually another truth out there and that something else actually does
happen, not that it could in theory, somewhere out in heaven, know that
it actually is true.
So just remember that, um, Jesus said, or, um, John said, you
know, the word became flesh.
So Jesus became flesh and he's always the example for us.
And that's what we're supposed to do.
We are spirit one with God and we're supposed to show him.
So when people look at us, they're supposed to see God.
Supposed to finally experience something that they only, that they hear about on
Sunday morning and they meet us and they're like, oh my word, it's real.
They've never seen God.
Most, most people, well, some people have, but, um, most people had, you know, God
usually presents himself in the form of Jesus to people, but anyway, you know,
most people have never seen them, but some people have, but anyway, since most
people haven't, you know, when they run into one of us, they should finally see
him like, oh my word, I had just only before I met you, I'd only just heard.
About this in, in, um, from the pulpit, I'd only just heard about this on Sunday
mornings, I'm actually finally experiencing it in real life.
And now I can see that it's actually real.
And now, you know, I want to be part of it.
Now it builds my faith, you know, now I, cause I remember one time I was, uh, there
was one gentleman that I was interacting with.
He was, I don't know, just kind of, he was like a father to a lot of, a lot
of people that I knew and, um, and I remember, I remember him seeing me at a
conference, it was his conference and he just came up to me with this huge smile
and this bear hug and, and then, and then backed off and looked at me and talked
and, and, and I thought, oh my word, this is what it feels like to be loved by God.
This is what it feels like to be looked at in love by, by my father, God, I'd
never experienced that from another human being before, but he was so engrossed
and immersed in the presence of the Lord, that that is what he lived.
He was able to present God and show God into creation.
And it gave me an experience of it's real.
You know, it wasn't always something I had to have faith in.
I finally got to experience it and that's what we're supposed to be for other people.
Good does, um, oh, I think here's the question.
When you start responding to a person's pain or their police, not to the last
one, know them, do you acknowledge what they went through at all or how long
before building them up and loving it to me?
Um, I do sometimes, um, acknowledge it, it depends on the situation.
Um, uh, I don't know.
I don't, I don't, I've never quite articulated for someone how, what
situations that I acknowledge it in and which situations I don't, it's not
like it's the science or something.
It's just, I just kind of feel it out.
Um, so I do.
Um, but I don't, I, I do it from the perspective, from the form of things
like letting them know that if they're hurting, that is, um, uh, basically
affirm, what are my words?
Um, uh, letting them know that if it hurts that bad, it really is that bad.
Like what happened to them really is that bad?
Is it because so many other voices, including their own or try to tell them
that, well, you know, I shouldn't feel this bad, no, if you feel that bad, it's
because what happened to you really was that bad now, meaning like it's simply
because it had that effect on them.
And so I kind of like acknowledge that it kind of like, I do let them know
that really, um, uh, kind of like affirms them and the fact that they feel that
their, their pain is acknowledged as opposed to being devalued, um, as a pet
and instead, and it also lets you.
Because you're also letting someone know that you heard them because they, they
always say that when you're listening to someone in responding, that it's important
to first.
respond with by repeating some of the things that they said, but in your own words,
and then it lets them hear their own words out of your mouth and lets them know that you heard them
many making them feel important, more special, acknowledge that their pains acknowledged or
whatever. And then I affirm them and things like, you know, you know, I'm sorry for what it is that
you went through. And, you know, if, and I'm so very, very sorry for the pain, and for how much
that you have struggled and just know that if it hurts that bad, it's because what happened
to you really was that bad. And, and so I'll, I do that, but then I move on very quickly.
So that's pretty much about the extent that I, uh, the amount of time that I focus on it.
I really don't focus on it much because it's going to, then it starts to, to feed those feelings
in them. And then I move on to, um, talking, uh, to affirming them. But when I affirm them,
I can't do it from the perspective of trying to convince them that the, that what it is that
they've believed isn't true. And that's something else is true. That's an agenda that's trying to
convince that's trying to send them off, you know, to deal with it on their own. No, if they're
lacking something, I need to give it. So I love on them and I pour into them and I don't focus
on them feeling better or them changing their mind. I give them what it is that they're missing.
It is their choice as to whether or not they receive it and how they respond. Um, but that's
what I do. Um, let's see. Okay. And Phil heard and seen without dwelling on the negative. Yes.
Yeah. Um, but other people, yes. Yeah. So Lindsay said, I can see how dwelling on this situation
can spiral into gossip about other people involved or deeper offense. Yes, absolutely.
They're just like feeding on it. And then, and then both of you were talking about it
or it's just encouraging them to talk about it because you're, and also, uh, by the way,
um, usually somebody who just wants to talk about it, doesn't want to get out of it.
They're wanting to identify as a victim. And so just FYI, um, uh, um,
how do I, how do I say this nicely? I'm just be open in the spirit and discerning as to how much
time you should spend, um, on that person in that, in that moment, because they're not,
here's the point they're not usually open. So it's similar to what it is that you're trying
to pour into them, just simply being rejected. So it's basically like, they're not someone in
those types of situations when they're not open, they're not giving you an authority to speak into
their life, they're rejecting. So you just kind of wait with that person, you know, while, and I
don't mean like just in that, you can wait a while in that moment, you know, I kind of like work with
someone for a little bit, you know, for like a, you know, just stand there for like three minutes,
you know, five minutes, something like that. See if there's any kind of a softening,
any kind of an opening there's usually not, but sometimes there is, you never know.
And, um, so, uh, and then just give it a little bit of time, or it might be one of those people
that you're around periodically. Maybe somebody is, is this way at church or somebody in your
Bible study. So in other words, you see them periodically, you know, just kind of like,
just allow the relationship to develop and just kind of like circle back periodically, or when
they circle back, it's not like you have to seek them out or anything, but if they, and then just
kind of see if there's openings, um, that, uh, I would, um, just, just be very aware that other
people are, have to give you the authority to speak into their lives. And, um, they, uh, they
are the authority about how much it is that they actually want to receive. Even if they want you
to talk to them. I have so many people that want, that want me to like, just talk to them and
whatever, but they're not open to receiving it. They're not willing to change. They're not really,
they're not open to doing what it is that they have to do. And, um, that isn't, um, you'll,
you'll drain out and you'll burn out. Um, and it's, it won't be healthy for you. So I just
kind of wanted to tell you on this side of things, what kind of situations to watch out for in order
to avoid burnout, because you're pouring into someone that actually isn't receiving what it
is that you're saying. Uh, they just want to be seen. They just want attention. And so that they
can continue to self-identify as a, as a victim. Um, but it is important. I, the way that I do it
is I try to, I give it a few chances. I just kind of like circle around.
give them a little bit of time, you know, work up their relationships so that they trust me.
You know, they really do realize that I love them and, and whatever, but, um, anyway, just be careful
that you don't pour too much, pour in too much into someone, uh, before they're ready. Um, because
she'll just, you'll burn out, you'll get discouraged. Not only can they get irritated,
but even if they're not irritated, they can start pulling on you. They can start attaching to you
and, um, when really they're not receiving what it is that you're offering, they're not
treating it appropriately. It's casting pearls before swine. And you want to protect what it is
that, that, um, that you're offering to them. And there's a manner of speaking, which you want to
protect them too, because if they're just not ready, hearing the wrong, hearing the right
message at the wrong time can, can actually hurt someone and it can make them a bit more resistant.
If it rebellious can kind of like harden them a little bit. And, um, sometimes it can even make
their journey to risk receiving, um, kindness from the Lord longer and harder. So anyway, you do want
to make sure that you give someone a chance and love on him and whatever, but I just kind of want
to let everybody know, um, that, uh, um, I don't know, just that, that kind of thought for whatever
reason, it popped into my head. I've actually don't think I've ever talked on here about that
at all. But, um, uh, because as much as I talk about all these things, oh, no, I already need
to see somebody for who it is that God says that they are needed, whatever. We're not understand
that other people get to choose what, how much of what it is that you're pouring out that they're
going to, that they're, that they received. That's not up to you. Um, so I was just kind of giving
you some landmarks to kind of look, look for, um, all right. So, and it is 10. So, um, unless
someone just has an absolute burning question, but someone would need a way really quickly,
um, then we will actually finish on time. So does anyone have anything or are we good for tonight?
So it felt like it went by very fast today. It was probably because I was doing all the talking
for y'all. Maybe it was a lot slower. All right. Well, it's good to see everybody and
Renata. It's so good to get to see you. Thank you for coming.
Good to see you guys. Good to have this community. Thank you.
Good to see you. Bye everyone. Bye.