hi girls this is my second journey share for the week and I just wanted to update
you a little bit on my life and I've been sharing live on Facebook and I had
my in my heart I wanted to do five Facebook lives to bring me into freedom
and because I wanted to communicate how I'm leaving a life of stress and moving
into rest and also sharing some of my story and what I feel God has spoken to
me about living in freedom and also living I've had lots of years living
with mental illness and stress and I feel and God has done a tremendous work
in my heart so I shared this on I did the lives and thank you for being the
part of the journey it I can tell that I am freer and that God has done
something in my life that I actually dared to do this with him the first time
I thought it I the thought came I thought oh that's impossible I can't do
that none of my friends do that and then I just chosen that because this is
what I wanted in my heart and I believe I wanted to do it with God that I've
pushed through and did it with God and just thought about afterwards how happy
this makes him and that that is the ultimate and also having to deal with
feedback good feedback and also some challenging feedback I was challenging
like I mentioned last time when someone were kind of giving a bit of an attitude
that oh you think you know it all and then how to pass through that and rest
and other things I conducted the choir on Thursday and I felt that was actually
the only thing in the show performance like the concert that the students put
on that brought some kind of light oh quite a bit of the show was a bit dark
and some of it some of it even a bit twisted and me conducting the choir of
all the 90 students to go on stage and to joyfully sing together that just
brought joy I think it was like a bright moment and we had so much
feedback and I also sang solo and I think I shocked I think I shocked
everyone there because no one knows that I sing so I shocked all the students and
all the parents and oh so I had my five minutes of fame there which was a lot of
fun to actually to be able to contribute and sing and yeah just feeling God going
with me through it and also in the concert in the Cathedral that's coming
up I can tell that there are things that I find challenging and yeah so that is
the next thing coming up we start practicing tonight actually today it's
just the vocals it were four women singing together and the next Sunday
it's the band practice and the concert is in a month Ashley and Annette and I
have been talking in our rest group and like I said God is bringing me out of
stress and mental illness and there's so many things I don't know if you feel
that but I feel quite a bit overwhelmed and there's so many areas in my
life that I don't have rest so and one of the areas that came up was weight
that I have been putting up on weight and and eating my emotions and the
lighting and food instead of the lighting in myself that's the thing
that's coming up and I've used discipline for the last when all my life
actually I've used discipline so much how to live my life and to survive and
to get out of things and now this time I just don't have it I just don't have
the energy I just don't have the discipline and also I think that's
something that God wants to break free of to always tend to go back to
discipline and Ashley also mentioned that maybe that has been a bit of a
trauma and that was very fascinating that how discipline that you can
associate it because that it's actually feels a bit traumatic to go back to
discipline but then the problem is then that I put on weight when I'm not using
discipline
So that's something I find really challenging and Annette and I decided to
keep each other accountable and to start on Monday tomorrow and I find that
really hard and also having I feel like there's so many areas in my life that I
need to walk and rest with like for this concert and at my work issues at work
but especially now with this weight how can you lose weight if you don't use
discipline and but still not delight yourself in food instead of actually
delighting yourself in yourself so and I think with my I think it is that I do
not really love my body and I haven't I don't know if I ever really have and
putting on weight makes it worse it makes you really resent it so that's
really challenging to feel so the challenges of that is something that
I'm going through right now and that I want to be able to walk through and rest
which is but it's really challenging because it touches so many things also
emotionally in me so that's where I'm at that's what I'm going through right now
and I just want to share that and thanks for sharing your lives with me in your
journey shares talk to you later