hi guys it's week five and it's my first resting rest or a sharing journey share
and I just got back to my hometown in down south in Norway kind of where Annette
lives and just wanted to do a quick journey share one more time in the
moment I wrote in the last journey share that coming home is always a great joy
and also a big challenge for me I love my family so much but there are things
that are challenging in my family too and one of the things that is kind of
hard is that one of one of my nephews that we love really much has fairly
recently chosen not to follow the Lord which is the huge and he's been kind of
like in rebellion against God and against the family and that's been
really hard for us and it's just really broke my heart and so and and then there
are things like that that are challenging and just living away and
feeling the kids are getting older and they don't need me anymore they used to
be little and wanted to be with me all the time and now they're getting older
the littlest is 6 and the others are 13 and almost 15 almost 13 15 and 18 and a
half so and there are other things going on in my family that are challenges
challenging so I prayed coming back home and I just came in the door maybe like
an hour ago and I bought food sitting down with my nephew the one that just
rejected Jesus and I bought him food when I asked what he wanted and I
started to have a talk and I can just tell like he's such and resistant towards
me and oh I feel like pain is hitting my heart and I tried to ask questions I
tried to listen to him and he doesn't want to talk and I can just tell like
he's just not in the mood to talk that I bought him food it's not creating like
a good atmosphere that I hoped and it doesn't work whether I ask questions or
sit on silence or talk about my life it's just a closed door and all and I
just walked in the door I just drove five hours went by two boats to get home
and drove five hours and really tired and I already a little bit like what's
gonna happen how is it gonna be to be home this time and this is just the
start and then my sister and brother come home they're in a rush they barely
greet me they're like oh the second oldest the 15 year old he has a soccer
game sorry we can't say hi to you we just have to leave it's a soccer game
and then the littlest one and the 13 year old they usually are very close to
me they hug me and then they're like the the 13 year old is like I'm gonna go out
with my friend bye and the six year old who always usually waits for days for me
to come home he's like can I have screen time and then he turns to the
screen and he just like starts watching something on his iPad and I was
like oh okay all right well God didn't change the situation but he has he is
changing me and he's changed me and normally this would have triggered a
lot of things in me especially rejection and I could sense like it was coming up
that I could get into I don't know being a victim or overcome with emotions or
feeling rejected or like what am I gonna do how what is the right thing to do how
to micromanage this and how to handle my emotions in the right way but I was like
this is gonna be okay this was not a great way to come home and I am tired
and I was hoping for something else but the situation has not changed but I can
be at a different place and I am changed and I can be with God right now in the
middle of chaos and people running away from me out the door and 18 year old in
resistance are me and 16 year old 60 year old don't want to be with me I can
still be at rest and I can be at that place in union with God and I'm safe
with him and I'm loved by him and also I know that of course my family loves me
and this doesn't indicate or tell me how this day this week is gonna be or
like who I am or how my family, what shape it's in. It's just right now they were at a different
place and they had other things to do or were having a hard day or whatever. I came in the
middle of it and it doesn't say anything about who I am or how my real relationship is with them.
So I was like, I'm actually at peace. I'm okay. I can tell that I started to get triggered.
But this can be a good week home with my family and I can be okay through this and I can have
peace. But I'm really thankful to have you and I'm really thankful that you're there and
really glad I could do this journey share and just like, that was rough in a way, but going
through it with Jesus and knowing that I have the support from you.
So I just want to share that in the middle of my emotions again.
Yes, that was a little bit from me back in Stavanger. Okay, talk to you later in the week.