I'm going to go ahead and unmute myself.
Hi there.
Hey, how's it going.
When Okay, how are you doing good.
We're in, we're in Texas now.
Yes, we did last night about like, or technically this morning at like 1215. So we're here.
Yeah, so how have you had a good week we missed you on Tuesday but it sounded like it was for a great reason.
Yeah, it's been a pretty good week.
I think, yeah, some.
I feel like some stuff's been finally paint you know like coming together I feel like I'm less
more more relaxed, little more relaxed, little more at ease.
Yeah, yeah, between this and the other work I've been doing and, and, yeah, yeah still sleep, working with God with sleep issues but you know that that's like, I have to think back I've, I've stayed up late for many many moons so I worked evenings
So I got in that habit of staying up late. So, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. So, to work my way back out of it.
Yeah, so, but, but yeah I think I feel like some feel like I'm less stressed and so yeah I see I'm kind of resting on the couch here. Yes, I know.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm glad to hear that.
Yeah, well, I met with Annette and Renata today I had to, I had to move our call with them from Tuesday to Thursday because we were traveling on all day Tuesday.
Wednesday. And so anyway, I got to meet with them today and they were, they were giving me their updates as well and there was, there was a reason I was telling you that I think there was something that you said that reminded me of something that we talked
about that Renata Annette and I talked about earlier today.
But now, I don't remember what it was less stressed or.
More restful or.
Well Renata actually had experienced, you know, had just felt kind of like a ramp up of not necessarily stress as much I mean it was stress but a lot of it was she's she the word she used was hopelessness.
So we talked through some possibilities of why that is, and, you know, some things that she could that she could do between her and her and the Lord, that would hopefully help her.
And then Annette said you know at the beginning of this week she was just very very joyful you know we saw her like journey shares and everything.
And then, then she said, what did she say that caused. I don't want to say that caused a turn but I think that she started thinking again about some things.
And the fascinating thing and I meant to tell my husband this because he'll just crack up that they said that in Norway, there is a saying, and where you call if you call something Texas, or Texan, then it means it's very wild and chaotic.
They'll use it like an adjective, they'll say like this is in Norwegian, they'll say, Oh, you know, work is just like completely Texas right now.
That's funny. I laughed and laugh like that's great. It's just like, you know, kind of like the Wild West.
Like, we'll take it.
That's funny.
That's funny. Yeah, I did watch their journey shares. I watched their last journey shares.
I hit the wrong button. There you are. I lost. I watched their journey shares a while ago so.
Okay, all right. Well, I hadn't seen their most recent one because the last time I looked no one had posted any new ones so I'm like, Okay, so I guess I just, I just missed the when they finally did post them so.
And I posted a short one a couple hours ago.
Oh, my goodness I'm missing all kinds of things.
That's okay.
cool sign behind you.
This is actually my best friend's company.
She and her husband own this company called Galt Strategies.
Let's see if you can see it.
This is how it goes.
Yeah.
Where's that?
Like that.
So they are turnaround business consultants
and they trained me.
So, and so I worked for them
from 2010 to 2012,
like 2010 to 2012.
And anyway, so yeah, we've been best friends
for I think it's either, I think 15 years now,
something like that.
So anyway, this is their company and they hired me
and trained me to be a turnaround business consultant
and all that.
So we're staying in the, in an apartment that they own
on their property.
And, but right now we're still working
on getting the internet all hooked up.
And so I'm in his office, in their house, upstairs.
Oh, okay.
That's why I have the sign behind me.
I see.
Did you say something about,
you're going to be back in the apartment you were in?
Yeah.
When I started the rest intensive in April of 2020.
So that's where we are back now.
So it is very exciting.
That is it.
So I just like to be part of it.
Let's just bring it full circle.
That is exciting girl.
Yeah, it's literally the apartment
where he first began to teach me about rest.
Well, it's a little confusing.
So he'd been teaching me about it, you know, for years
but I didn't know what he was teaching me.
I was just obeying him.
I was just doing the things
and I didn't know how to articulate it to myself.
I didn't necessarily know a pattern
or knew how to explain it to myself, what was going on.
I just knew if I would just say to do something
I would do it.
And then I started to notice some similarities
between him, between the types of things
that he would say to do.
And then I started and I noticed the impact
that it was making on people.
Like for instance, relationships or whatever.
And, or the, I don't know, the outcomes
would just be just extremely favored.
And I thought, I'm not putting in the normal amount
of work and effort that you would expect out of,
that you would expect to go into getting this kind
of an impossible outcome.
You know, how on earth, how on earth this is happening?
I was like, oh, well, you know, it's God.
Well, I just, I, all I knew to do was just obey him
but I didn't know that any principles that I was being,
that I was operating in the kingdom.
And anyway, so he gave me the word rest back
in either January or February of 2020.
And then by then I was already teaching people.
I was already consulting people on one-on-one basis.
And I was teaching them about how to do their businesses
in rest, but I didn't know the word to use for it
until January or February.
And he told me, well, the word Ashley
that you're looking for is called rest.
Like, oh, that's fascinating.
And then in April of 2020,
I started the group mentorship program
and called the rest intensive.
So anyway, so I'm back in that apartment
where the Lord taught me so much.
And it's in that apartment that I learned how to have walk
or where I learned to walk by faith, where I would,
you know, I had no money coming in
and all my businesses were failing
and I was having to trust the Lord for food and all that.
All that was right here back in late 2019 and early 2020.
And I say early, you know, through August of 2020.
And so I learned how to trust him for my finances
and the outcomes and learn, you know, my food.
And I, so there's a lot of stories that I tell
and that I use as examples of, okay,
this is how you can walk this out,
or this is what happened to me, or this is how I did it,
or this is how I learned,
but this is what God told me.
A lot of that happened when I was in that apartment.
So anyway, very special.
So it's special to be there.
Yeah, so I left there with,
I stayed there with my little dog.
And of course, you know,
that was the video that I did
about processing grief in rest.
I had her with me, you know, in back a year later,
in March, after I started the rest intensive
in March of 2021, when I did the conference in Missouri.
And then I had to let her go.
So a little girl, so I've traded.
So the last time I was here, I was with,
I had my dog and now I'm married and bring my husband back.
So I think I loved my dog, my little girl,
this precious little girl.
I've tried to refer my husband. It was good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And what was, what's her
name? Your little dog? DASA. What is it? DASA. D-A-S-S-A-H. DASA. Okay. DASA. Yeah. It's
short for Hadassah, you know, which is, uh, which was the biblical, um, Esther's Hebrew
name. Um, but yeah, Adrian and Joe Kimmons took her. Oh, I know. And they are wonderful.
I think great. They're amazing. So, but poor little DASA passed away and a week before
Ed and I got married. I thought you said that. So, yeah, so she, she carried me through and
watched over me until I got married. Yeah. Oh, that's so special. Yeah. Yeah. Well,
Hey, Hey, Diana, Tammy Rita. Hello. All right. So we'll get started. Does anyone have a question
that they would like to jump in with? I got to talk. I was telling Karen, I wish y'all were
coming on that. I got to talk to Annette and Renata today. And so that was great. We got to
have our group. Um, cause I had to move them from Tuesday to Thursday since we were traveling on
Tuesday and Wednesday. So that was nice to get to visit with them. Y'all may have gotten to see
their journey shares and all that. So we talked through, um, uh, and I'll be posting the video
of that. Um, you know, we talked through some of the, some of what it is that they were going
through and how they could, um, some things that I hope will be helpful and how they approach
things. And so anyway, so how have y'all been, have y'all had any, um, struggles that you wanted
to point out any, um, uh, that y'all needed any kind of help with any questions that you have
or any amazing ways that you've seen the Lord come through where you've seen like his character,
maybe in a new way that you hadn't recognized it before is like, oh, that's actually God
providing. And I'd always thought that that was the enemy, or I thought that that was an obstacle,
or I thought that that was, you know, um, I don't know, just whatever, but that was happenstance.
I don't know, just don't have any new questions.
Or does everyone jump on waiting for you're looking forward to hearing what
the answers are to everybody else's questions. I'll say something real quick. Yeah. Just what
I was talking to Ashley about a little bit is I've, and I shared a little bit in my journey
share that I feel like right now, anyway, this week I've felt a little more at rest
and a little less stressed and even dealing with some difficult real estate stuff. And that's,
still kind of going on. And with all of my January closings got put off till March,
one of them. Yeah. And then, and then supposed to have one last week, it got put off for a little
while. One next week's getting put off. It's just been, it's been kind of crazy. And not only that
is just that the intricate details of that and the people's lives and things it's, it's, it's, you know,
it's, but I feel like I'm dealing with things better because I was really feeling
stressed in January and, and, and, you know, this month, some too, and letting myself get stressed.
And, and so I'm feeling a little more, even dealing with today, you know, one client's
calling me a lot, but I finally felt that found out one reason he's going through a difficult
time too. And, but I'm just, I'm just thankful to the Lord because between this and the other work
I've been doing and, you know, we're all doing stuff, but this rest intensive is, and you guys,
it's been a great connection and, and, and to help and I'm seeing some fruit, you know, I'm still,
still, yeah. So I want to give a victory there that, that I've just spent a little calmer
and yeah. And that's, that's, that's good. That's really great because I've had,
I had a couple of stressful years and, you know, off and on a couple of years ago,
I think was the most stressful year of my life that I can recall anyway. But, so this is nice
to be feeling a little more at ease while difficult things are still kind of going on. And, but, you
know, if we focus on the Lord and, you know, as we're practicing more, bringing him into everything
and, and one girl really blessed me too, as she called me a prayer, a prayer.
leader friend of mine and she just encouraged me and just encourage you know when we're
doing this work that we're that you know we're being vulnerable not everybody not everybody
does this and when we're vulnerable it makes us more real you know for all of us you guys
it makes us you know and it kind of paves the way for others is what someone someone
else told me it paves the way when we open the door to be restored it opens the door
for others and so I've had a lot of encouragement and this week too and my naturopathic doctor
even encouraged me yesterday that she's we've become really good friends and she's she said
I just heard the Lord saying the old hymn leaning on what is it leaning on his everlasting
arms that he's just telling us to lean on his you know leaning on lean on his everlasting
arms and yeah that's been resonating with me too is leaning on him instead of leaning
on my own understanding yeah yeah great great and you know I've been meaning to say that
that something that you said that I think that your friend was telling you or pointing
out as principle and that that I really don't know how to describe it but there was something
that kind of I noticed needed to kind of get where the group like this group here needed
a breakthrough and I noticed that Karen when you did the hard work of being vulnerable
about you know what it is that you were going through at the time and opened up it broke
something over the end out of over the entire group and so it completely shifted it I was
telling Ed about it I'm like oh my word it's amazing it's like it was different from one
week to the next strictly after you know Karen you know you know made a major decision for
herself hey look this is something that I want for me between me and God and I'm willing
to pursue it well when we do stuff like that and I tell people this all the time particularly
about their family members but you know obviously it works in groups like this as well and people
that are coming together you know for a common cause and that are really kind of joining
together you know in the soul realm or the spirit realm but it particularly works with
families that when you step out and do the hard work of being the pioneer that it will
spiritually break things in off of other people to make it easier for them to do with to make
the same decision that you did now they still have to make that they still have to do it
they still have to make the same decision to like have faith in the Lord and you know
and believe him and all of that stuff they still have to walk the same path but the picture
that I that I always give is kind of like the pioneers I was hacking through the jungle
with a butter knife you know and it's like oh my word you know it's just so hard they're
the one who's forging a path and all of it so it makes the path easier to walk for all
of the people who come behind them but it but they still have to walk that path just
because the pioneer gets to where it is that they want to go and gets to the destination
and whatever after they pack through the jungle you know doesn't mean that all the people
that are behind them automatically get the benefits of being there too they still have
to walk that path but it's a lot easier so when you are wanting something for your family
when you're wanting something for you know I don't know maybe your church or you know
your small group or whatever if you do something to if you actually take the hard steps of
spiritually being the pioneer being vulnerable to Lord in a particular way or whatever it
will if you break off that chain it creates basically now a a weakened link where it makes
it where they don't have as much spiritual opposition to overcome as you did it makes
it easier for them to make did the decisions comes for goes for your children goes for
your spouse goes for your parents goes for whatever they still have to make the decision
you know just like you have but it makes it easier it makes it easier for them to make
the choice to make healing you know get inner healing or to believe the Lord or whatever
they still have to do it but there's not as much spiritual opposition for them to have
to overcome in order to do it so anyway you're not just benefiting yourself you're benefiting
everyone else so anyway I wanted to point that out of the meeting too for a while and
that would that there was a huge difference you know that was one of the gifts that you've
given the Greeks many guests at Karen but that's one of the guests that you gave the
group is you you spiritually created a breakthrough.
for the whole group when you started, when you offered yourself very
vulnerably to the Lord and then allowed, uh, and then, you know, allowed
us to partner with you in that.
And then, um, you know, obviously stuff that you shared about like the
journal writing and all kinds of things, you know, just where you're
just opening up your heart and like, Hey, this is my journey.
This is what my walk with the Lord currently looks like.
And it's really, really helped everyone.
So anyway, thank you very much for being willing to do that.
Yes.
Thank you.
And yeah, that, it does.
It meant a lot to me for someone to voice that out that, you know, we, we
might've heard that somewhere, but to voice out that when we make the
decision to do this work, that really is paving away and it's just kind of
cool to, it kind of, it's kind of like, wow, um, you know, it gives it
even a deeper meaning and like you said, just for us, that's hard.
You're doing matters as a deep reverberating significance in your
environment and, and for futures, you know, for future.
So, yeah.
Yeah.
And even though I'm still going through stuff with sleep and stuff, but the
tips you gave and, you know, I'm just work, trying to work with the Lord.
I was telling you, Ashley, and you know, there's like, um, but it's like, I'm,
it's like, I feel like I'm not fighting myself as much in these, in that area too.
Yeah.
And you know, Ken, my, you know, I was separated with Ken and we've been
spending time together and I've just been more relaxed and I think that's.
Helped that, you know, a lot too, is just to relax and let him be who he is, you know?
Um, so that's huge because, you know, accepting ourselves as we are, you know,
like what, what we've been talking about, you know, like for instance, some of the
questions, you know, that Tammy's brought up with like, you know, oh, you know,
we've been having all these negatives and emotions and whatever.
Okay.
We'll go to the Lord and just know that you can be that with him and fully
accept yourself in that as well.
And like what we talked about, you know, as soon as she, as soon as you fully
accept yourself and allow yourself to just be mad or to just be like another,
it's not that you're feeding any of those negative emotions, but you're just,
you're just, you're, you're accepting yourself and accepting the fact that
you're mad and accepting the fact that you're afraid you're like.
Okay.
Well, this is, it's, it's almost like you look at it matter of factly.
Well, this is the way it is.
You know, point is that that is so very powerful.
And when we start seeing that God accepts us in that place and we accept us in that
place, and it's easier for us to accept other people in that place, just let them
be who they, where they, who they are, where they are right, just right now.
And then it gives us the freedom to be able to enjoy God ourselves.
And then, because we don't, uh, we're not internally and emotionally resisting them
so much, so yeah, that's great, Karen.
I'm so glad that, that you've been able to enjoy that.
Thank you.
Yeah.
And my one other thing I'll say is my, my good friend, Mary, who's she's been,
we've been through some similar stuff and she's been through a couple of marriages
and she said, the Lord has showed her that she tried to make her husbands be like her.
And one day he gave her a dream.
I think it was.
And he showed her a husband with a, with a skirt on a men's shirt and a women's skirt.
And he said, you're trying to make him like you.
And I created him different for a reason.
And so we, her and I laugh about that, you know?
Yeah, that's it.
Wow.
That's a very powerful dream and image.
Yeah.
So thank you all.
You all have been very helpful to me as well.
Okay.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Thanks for giving us an update.
All right.
Does someone have something else?
Well, I guess I can give a praise report.
It's on those lines too.
Like I know I had asked about like marriage and like spiritual, uh, and stuff like that.
And, um, I didn't fully, I will admit, like, I congrats everything you said the
first day, but I saw like God working things out and, um, like that same night.
It's so crazy.
Like my husband and I like just started having a conversation and he just was
like, just be really authentic and, um, just vulnerable about his feelings and
everything.
And like he had said something like my friend, your friends, like sometimes
y'all scare me.
Like my friends are all Christian.
Like we, you know, we kind of go deep.
And so, you know, we have different spiritual experiences and, um, him and I,
and so I was trying to parse through it all.
And I was like, I think what you're seeing is this, like, we're just really
vulnerable.
with one another and part of like some of our the church history that we have him and I have that are similar it's kind of like we've been in churches where.
he's like people will tell a testimony after the fact, you know what I mean like.
Yes, correct where everything looks pretty.
And you're on the other side.
Is that when everyone emotionally can be safe because well that's how I used to be but that's what happened, but not that i'm in it.
Yes, exactly and so um you know now it's it's kind of like it's just we're you know we like my friends now we just walk with each other through the messy you know it's like no judgment and everything and so.
We talked about the difference between that and I just saw God just really just like open up this heart, and you know he's just been much more.
open to doing his own quiet time sharing it with me or we'll just talk about like God's truth or and then sometimes when I see him kind of getting on the religious path i'd be like well no ashley's taught us X, Y, Z and just kind of like.
I just say thank you for that that was really good and it also is like I realized to how you know it's easy to point the finger at someone else, but God was really good at just like.
bothering me, as you say, gently bothering me I told him that term to he was all about he was so good, you know, because you know, sometimes you're afraid to ask him to do X, Y, Z because you like oh it's gonna be roughly I don't think already so um but it's been really good because even like I was making a mountain out of a molehill about us traveling to.
To Louisiana and I was like well babe I told you, when you make the tickets, I wanted to go to church, this day, so just just please make them later in the day and then.
He did, and I was like well, I think you prioritize this other person, but your family your class reunion and I was like I made my request before I was just like like.
I wasn't stinky but I just was like well i'm just going to tell you how I feel, which is healthy, you know, sometimes.
held things in for too long in multiple relationships personal and work within I feel like i'm trotting over and.
I never said my speech, because I thought I was being godly but, like I can still say hey I feel hurt and express my emotions to the other person.
And so i'm learning to do that right away, instead of letting them build up so anyway, I just said, and then I got in the shower because I was like.
Well, I would just go to this other church, because the time won't work and my sister said she was gonna go with me and I was like I didn't want to go to that church i'm just trying to make a point.
And I said, what did you do what do you I got in the shower and the Lord was just talking to me.
And it was like the words that you were saying we're coming back to me and God was just kind of gently father and I was like.
You know what I didn't need like god's gonna work everything out if i'm going to work in children's ministry.
I don't have to meet that person, this day, I can meet him a time in the future it's gonna be fine like stop being too rigid, and so it was great we had a wonderful Sunday getting ready I needed all of that time we travel together, and it was just really great we had like.
A wonderful week together so i'm just really i'm just really thankful to God.
you're telling me some you know just what it is and i'm used to that, like my mom's is like she'd be like just tell it is how it is.
it's good and God can just really like he can weave those words back to me um when when I during certain situations and then I can see the fruits of like oh okay that's what you mean and Okay, I get it, I received that you said so that's my prayer that that's my testimony.
that's great i'm so excited for you that's huge be able to see that that progress and seeing the Lord work that's wonderful and so excited and you're right.
it's just kind of we have to let let things go and just realize you know what.
Just because it's not going to happen, the way that I accepted or thought that I wanted or plans, you know, and then it can we can just take it from this perspective of oh my word i'm out of control, meaning like I don't get to control it.
We just let it all go like okay let's just see what happens, then we realize that when we when when we look back on it and so it's always good to be able to see it beforehand.
yeah that helps me not stress out and traffic and stuff like that it's like actually you know how this goes.
Just because it's not happening, according to how you planned and what you thought that you wanted, because you're trying to control a specific outcome and a specific response from people or whatever.
doesn't mean that it's going to now be about just just sit there in traffic enjoying the moment, you know, and then we'll just just let whatever's going to happen, you know, and it gets it's much easier way to live.
It really is.
I found it even in small things.
Like we were just in Walmart and the guy, like we,
I was like, I called you over first
and you went over to two other people.
And I'm like, what, man?
Now it's just like, I ain't got nowhere to go.
It's good.
Let that man do his thing, it's gonna be all good.
So it's just like little situations like that
where before I would just get up in arms
over silly stuff that really didn't matter.
Now I'm just like, it's gonna be good.
And I'll just be like, babe, whatever you want.
You know what I'm saying?
That's right.
All good.
It's whatever.
So yeah, I think I'm an easier person to be around.
And he told me that the other day.
He was like, Tammy, he's just like,
sometimes he'll go to sleep
and he'll have a dream like this.
And not that they're all godly,
but he's just really imagining his dream world.
And he's like, I had told him my dream the other day
from the other time.
And I told him the part about TV or whatever
and about my spirit being growing.
And then he just was like, yeah, he was like,
I just had this dream that was like three parts of you.
He couldn't go into detail, but he was just like,
man, it was like all of them were in a line, man.
He was like, Tammy,
well, all three parts of you were in a line, man.
You are powerful.
I'm like, thank you, babe.
Y'all, you're right.
I love it.
When you see it, you'll know the fruit of it.
So super.
Yeah.
That's very powerful confirmation from Lord.
Yeah.
Good.
Oh, and I'm glad that he's taking the,
making the effort to, you know,
affirm those things in you
because that's what men are called to do.
That's what our husbands are called to do.
So it's exciting when, you know,
especially when we want them to be like
spiritual leaders of the home
and some people don't get to have that.
They, cause I remember some of the rest
and some of the past rest intensive members
have talked about that.
I'd like my husband to be a spiritual leader
in my home and whatever.
And how do I get him to do that and whatnot?
And what do I do in the meantime, et cetera.
So it's always exciting when they,
we give them this space in the room to,
you know, when women do that,
for them to step into it and do it and affirm and grow.
And so that's wonderful.
I'm very excited that you're getting to experience.
All right.
So, what else?
Rita, Diana, y'all have anything today?
Question or, you know, something's coming up or whatever.
Or Diana, the stuff that we talked about on Tuesday,
how has, has that been helpful at all?
Talking about, you know,
how to operate more out of the spirit,
how to focus more on your being than you're doing.
Have you noticed any difference or what?
Oh yeah, huge, huge.
Really?
It's, I don't know.
I don't even know how to explain it,
but I just feel like,
I hate to hear the word feel,
because I was, I'm such a feeler.
And before I used to be,
if I didn't feel it, I didn't think it was right before.
And now I try not to, because truth be told,
if I don't feel, if I don't feel how to do anything,
I won't do it.
Like I used to guide, my feelings used to guide me before.
And now I don't, I don't,
don't, I'm not listening so much to my,
not that I'm not listening to my feelings,
but I'm just not, I'm saying, okay, I may feel this,
but that's all it is, just an emotion.
This is not the Holy Spirit, you know,
just because I'm feeling this for whatever reason.
They're just paying attention, not dismissing my emotions,
but not letting them guide me.
And I guess you would call it maybe self-control.
That's exciting.
Right.
And, and just, I don't know, I've been feeling really,
I can't explain it, but I've been feeling like God present.
Like when I'm in my room, like at night going to sleep,
I feel him present.
I feel him, I just, I just,
I just feel like his presence so close.
Like if I close my eyes and I just start,
I can, I just, tears start streaming.
I could just feel him.
And it's just powerful, you know,
because before I had to really, really, you know,
try to shut my thoughts and try to really focus and,
and like, let me have, you know,
try to get in his presence, put the music on and all this.
And now all I do is close my eyes and I just feel him.
So it's beautiful.
It's beautiful.
That's great.
And I think that it's fascinating that there's,
I think I was telling Annette and Renata this,
I don't think it was this,
I don't think it was on Tuesday.
I think it was earlier today
and that I was telling them this,
that there's themes to different rest-intensive groups
where God will be talking about a similar thing
with multiple of them.
And one of the things that I've noticed currently
is like multiple people with sleep
or trying to sleep or being able to stay asleep
or having a restful sleep or whatever.
And so I find it fascinating.
You said that you've noticed that God very,
particularly you're feeling his presence at night
when you go to sleep.
I think it's great.
We all claim that.
Darren, we all claim it.
And I'm trying to remember,
I think Renata was saying that
in one of the fireside chats
with the rescuers or whatever.
Renata, we all claim it.
That's great, I'm excited.
I didn't mean to cut you off,
but I wanted to make a comment about that,
about his presence.
And that's what I've been,
this is what this has all been about for me,
was to draw closer to God,
to not be so distracted and not be,
that's all it's been about.
You know, I put everything aside,
me and my wants, my petitions, my whatever.
I just said, I'm not asking you for anything.
I just want you.
That's all it's been about, you know?
Yeah, that's great.
And I've just been focusing on him.
And I don't know if you saw my little journey share.
I went to a service yesterday.
And the first, the pastor, I don't know him.
I just started going to this church.
And he told me, he said, you know,
he gave me a little word.
And then at the end, he said,
and God said to tell you
that he's gonna come with his presence
and hug you and embrace you with his love.
And I couldn't stop crying because that was my prayer.
That's what you asked.
That he would just love me,
but that I would feel his presence and his love.
And when he said that, it's like, he's answering,
because he said, God said to tell you.
And he could have told me,
but when he uses somebody else to,
it's just like, okay, it's not me.
It's somebody else saying it.
And I put it in there because he also said,
he spoke to my identity and he said,
and you are a daughter of God.
Like, don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
He said, you are my daughter, he said.
And I mean, I think at one point
we've all struggled with identity.
And that was just, for me, it was just so huge.
Cause I mean, you know that, but, you know,
sometimes you just need to hear it.
And it was just, it was a beautiful thing
because I'm in this, you know,
it's like a confirmation of him telling me
where you need to be, here, you know.
And it was an affirmation, a confirmation saying,
you're doing right here, you know,
you're trying to seek me and, you know,
and it was him saying, yes, I'm pleased or whatever.
That's wonderful.
And I just absolutely, I also absolutely love,
okay, so two things.
For one, you know, you're talking about
how God just really went the extra mile,
so to speak, in communicating to you.
You know, he's like, okay, I'm going to tell someone else
and then I'm going to prompt him to tell her,
you know, whatever.
And so it's really neat how we get to situations like that.
Help us kind of like see the father heart of God.
Like he really does love me.
Oh my word, he really noticed me.
And oh my goodness, he's really just,
he's just expressing how much he's loving on me right now.
As opposed to, hey, I just want you to know.
No, that whole thing that he orchestrated
was him loving on you, like lavishing you with it,
with a gift.
I'm like, okay, it's almost like drawing you a bubble bath
and giving you candles and doing all of this stuff.
It's like this, he's going through this process
and that process is being loved on, you know?
It's him like going through all of this effort
or like making dinner for you.
I mean, it's like, that's what that whole thing is.
It's not just kind of like,
hey, I'm communicating something to tell you something.
And then, hey, you're supposed to take it in
and then just be aware of it, you know,
in your head or whatever.
It's like, that's one of the things that really impacted me
and really began to change my relationship.
took the Lord is when I, I had to choose, okay, he says he's good.
He really is good.
And he's as good as he says that he is and he's loving his whatever.
And so I told him, I said, Lord, I want to see, I want you to be who you are.
And I want to, and I want you to manifest that into my life.
And then I began to, to see my, my life and what happened in my life
from the perspective of God moving.
And in other words, God, not God, like orchestrating things, you know, on my
behalf so much as I'm not saying he doesn't do that, I'm just saying, that's
not so much what, so much of what I was looking at it as it was more like, who
is God and what is he doing?
How is he showing up?
How is he displaying his goodness?
How is he being especially good to me?
Like not the way that I would define it, but the way he's defining it.
What is him being good to me right now?
What is he doing or how is he loving on me?
You know, kind of like this whole, this orchestrating this whole process.
It's you're actually watching God, a whole process of God expressing himself.
Not a moment, not setting everything up to express himself.
You have a whole thing with him, like, like expressing himself.
And so that, that really changed things for me because I completely, it
completely changed how I saw my life, how I saw what happened in my life.
I began to see it more as God orchestrating things to love on me, to take care of me,
to provide for me, to, you know, protect me, to do all of this stuff.
I saw him always moving and shifting things.
And therefore I always felt like I always had his attention and that
he was living life with me as opposed to just standing as a, you know, being
a bystander and that I would check in with every now and then making sure,
okay, God, you're okay with what I'm doing.
Right.
No, he's like, we're doing live together.
I mean, and, and, um, anyway, so I love how you were able to see that.
How you're, you're like, you didn't just receive the fact that, oh, he said it.
You're like, oh my word.
I can't believe how he did it.
You saw so much love being expressed in the actions that he was taking in
like everything that he allowed to partner with him in the process.
It's like, okay, we'll do this.
We'll do this.
And so now I'm doing it and I'm talking to the guy and then I'm talking and
then I'm prompting him to tell her, and then I'm having her recognize it's
me and you know, and I'm here, aren't you excited, you know, he's just, he's
just, he's like, okay, great.
Do you see how much I love you?
Do you hear, you know, do you, you know, are you actually experiencing my love?
That I think is kind of like one of the ways that I could summarize what I'm
trying to say is he's wanting us to immerse us in an experience of his love
or an experience of his goodness or an experience of his protection or his
provision, and again, it's going to show up the way he chooses to express it.
Not how we would define it.
Not like, okay, well, if this happens, well, then I know God's good because
this makes me feel comfortable, you know, but if it happens like this, well,
then, you know, I don't, that's not me experiencing God's love.
It's like, no, we're experiencing God.
And then we allow him to reveal to us.
And, um, what that is.
Was that Lord, was that your goodness?
Lord, was that your protection?
Lord, was that your love?
What was that of you that you just showed me?
What aspect of yourself did you reveal?
You know, because that, and that's the whole point.
And that brings me back to the second thing that I wanted to, um, a comment
on love, how you said, you know, your, your, your choice is not has, and what
it is that your focus has been, has been like, God, you know, I choose you,
not what I'm getting from you.
I choose you, not your aunt, not an answer to my questions.
I choose you not rest.
And that was something that I was talking to Annette Renata about because she, or
you'll see this in the recording or not.
I was talking about, um, uh, feeling the struggling with feeling, uh, like, uh,
even though she, you know, in your head, you know, better she's like, when I'm
finding that I'm experiencing and what I'm feeling is I'm feeling, uh, like,
um, that I'm always that, that being at in rest is now a new thing.
I'm, I'm aware of that.
I'm constantly trying to do.
Am I in rest?
Am I not in rest?
Okay.
I'm an unrest.
Okay.
How do I need to shift into us?
And so she said that she said, it's almost like it's an added stress to my life.
And she said, I know that that's not true, that it's not supposed to be, but she
said, that's what I'm experiencing.
And so she was just kind of asking, so, you know, what's a shift of perspective
that can help me, you know, in all of this.
And so I was telling her what you just said, I said, you know, the thing.
is that in the rest intensive, you know, the rest is actually just the byproduct, the whole point
and the focus is that we're trying to, we're trying to let go of life more and more and choose God as
the thing that we actually value and to stop and to just let go of our life, to let go of a lifestyle,
to let go of all of these things that we're actually holding against God in accusation,
just let them go and choose him instead, including what we can get from him, which includes rest,
letting all of that go, but by doing this, we get all of this, we get, we get it in a different form
though than we'd get if we were holding onto it, trying to make it happen by the tree of knowledge
of good and evil, you know, all of our strife, all of our own effort, it's going to have a different
expression, but it is going to be more powerful and it's also going to be eternal, you know,
we'll never die, you know, if we do it from his perspective, if we let go of all of this,
which is what Jesus did, let go of all of this and choose him instead, so that helps the rest
no longer be this thing that we're, that we're trying to get and this, and that creates an added
stress and anxiety, it's something we're always trying to be aware of and shift into, you know,
and, and we just really have to let go of holding rest in our desire for it in accusation against
God or even, and, and as a cause of judgment against ourselves for, you know, constantly
trying to shift and whatever, so that's why I tell you and I'll, I'll post this and for all of y'all,
um, it's what I refer to as the ultimate choice and the ultimate choice is where we choose God,
I choose you over my lifestyle, I release, I release, um,
I release holding my desires of a particular lifestyle to you in, um, in accusation against
why you haven't helped me do this or why this hasn't, haven't happened yet or why you haven't
caused this or why you've caused something different or whatever, however, however we
phrase that type of accusation that we say, God, I choose you instead of my lifestyle and I ask that
you be who you are and that you manifest that into my life, making my life look like whatever
you want, in other words, that your life just be created by the man of, by God simply manifesting
his character and we saw what that made Jesus's life look like, that was very hard, especially,
you know, there at the end, it was very hard, but that was God, that was God, that was what his
life uniquely looked like when his father God was given the opportunity to fully express himself as
he was, not who Jesus was, who God, his father was into the earth and Jesus gave up his life,
meaning like, and I don't mean like just his death on the cross, I mean like he sacrificed his life,
you know, as a living sacrifice saying, God, you be you to create and that and you being you, Lord,
I ask that that create my life, so that is the ultimate choice that we make and that's what
really shifts us into rest, that's what really helps us release our hold of this world and just
rely on God for the outcome, rely on God to create it however he wants and so anyway, I'll post that
because it's this, because I just wrote up what it is that I just said, I just, I did a little
write-up about it and I'll say a little, it's kind of long, but and so I'll post that so that
y'all can read it because it's something that I encourage people to, to take in their, in their
journey with the Lord and ask, Lord, can you walk me to being able to say this because and if you
can't actually do it, I mean like really truly do it because remember what we've talked about,
faith in action, just, you know, stepping off the cliff going, okay, well God just said to do it,
so here I go, remember that you won't, there's nothing to catch you and you really will bear the
consequences that you were afraid would happen if you actually did that, why? Because the only thing
that saves you from those consequences is the faith first that you get to step, that creates a
step that when you're, that, that supports you when your action steps out, then you're, the fact
that you believed it finally supports the action, so actually when you step out and you believed it
first, it creates a step that, that, that
holds on to you. But if, if you don't actually believe it, and
you're just just doing it, because well, God said to somewhere I go, I
just want to be obedient, then you actually won't have their faith
won't have built a step for you to step out on and you'll fall. So
anyway, you it's you said in the video, you said in your video, and
I heard that and I said, you said you have to own it. Yes, you said
you have to own it because you really don't have the testimony.
Unless you own it and walk in it. Give it out. Yes, you have to. And
that's also been my prayer. Like I don't everything like you said,
it's dirty. It's good. But if I don't own it, I can't walk it. And
I get it's not a part of who I am in my life. That's what I've been
praying to the Holy Spirit. Also, I said, Holy Spirit, if you did it
for Ashley, you can do it for me. Take me to that place.
Rest and, and help me walk this out, whatever it looks like, because I
know it might be different for everybody. Yeah, it will help me
walk it out, whatever it looks like, just help me get there. And
and yeah, so yeah, but I just I just I know it's a process and for
everybody's gonna be different for it. For me, I know that it's not
gonna happen like, you know, instantly, but but I think what was
very powerful for me is, is just when I set the prayer, when the
tools of choosing, when I made the choice, I, I kind of felt, I
felt it in me. And that the change the shift, when I'm
actually made the choice, and I don't think I've ever done that
before. So that was real impact. And when you actually make the
choice, yes, you know, your own intention, your own intention,
that's powerful. That's just, yes, great. And she was I guess
I was gonna say to me, Oh, well, one of the things that you said,
I loved what you mean is like, it was highlighting something you
said, but I said, when you said, and if Lord, if you can do that
for Ashley can do that for me. One of the things that I did is
when I, because we're all one in Christ, what I used to do with
the Lord, and I still do this, I just haven't done. I just really
haven't thought about it in a long time. But I would take
other stories that in ways that God had come through for other
people that he'd like manifest his character amazing way. And I
would say Lord, and I would be in a situation that I was
wanting that, that I don't mean that I was wanting a
manifestation of that aspect of his character, like his goodness
or his love or whatever. And what I would do is I would
remember a story that someone had told me about how God had
expressed his goodness in their life. And I would claim that
story. And I would say, God, I remember when you showed up
like da da da da da, and I would tell their story, but I would
claim it in my relationship with the Lord, because I'm his son
too. And if he'd do it for them, he'd do it for me. There's no
difference. So I mean, like, as far as like value or importance
or anything like that. Now, sure, there's going to be a
uniqueness of how he chooses to express himself to each one of
us. But the thing is, if he would do that for them, he's
just simply expressing an aspect of his character that he says
that I have full access to. So in his own unique expression of
it, I'm just asking, Lord, you know, I remember when you did
this for me. And I would claim that expression of his goodness
or his love or his protection that he had expressed to that
other person. I claim that expression as mine, because he's
saying that that aspect of himself that he gave them is an
aspect of himself that he gives me. So I totally claim it.
Anyway, that has also helped me on my on my walk with the Lord,
you know, is claiming things that have happened to other
people as strictly not the thing itself, but really the expression
of God that he gave them and the peace of himself that he
gave them is what he gives to me. And so I claimed it as if
it's already as if it happened to me, because we are one in the
spirit with each other in body, I mean, in the body of Christ.
And so anyway, so I'm glad that you pointed that out. Yeah.
There was something else that you said that I was gonna, I was
gonna comment on that. Oh, that's what it was. I was in
talking about the, the ultimate choice to tell the Lord, you
know, Lord, if I can't, and this goes for anything, you know, any
ask this, remember, this is the fifth tool of the restricting
tool, you know, declare and go with your soul finds peace. So
you tell Lord, okay, Lord, I can't quite choose in faith to
do this, and go with my spirit.
but knows that there's freedom and that there's opportunity.
And that I just, Lord, it's just too much for me.
I just can't do it right now.
But Lord, I do want to declare,
I do want to make some kind of a movement towards you
that is more than what I believed about you in the past.
So I'm going to declare
that that actually really is true about you.
Instead of rejecting it and denying it,
I'm going to declare it,
but I'm going to go where my soul finds peace.
So one of the ways that you can do that,
or I should say an expression of that,
is that, Lord, I'm not willing to make the choice yet,
but I am willing to be willing.
And so take that intention that you were talking about.
You said that when you felt that shift within you,
when you really truly owned your own decision,
and you made a choice and you noticed the shift,
God's like, yes, someone taking me up on my offer
of like operating out of their free will, you know?
And then he guides us on what he says that we, you know,
that is really wisdom for us to,
like the choice that we're,
that he tells us is wise for us to make,
but he still wants it to be our decision
of what the ultimate, the final choice.
Anyway, point is that if we can't actually do it,
we can just tell the word, Lord, I'm willing to be willing.
And so you can take that intention that you have
that you make a choice with,
and if it's not strong enough to be able to make a choice,
simply direct that same ownership of your decision
towards being willing to be willing,
and see if you can at least put your intention towards that
and make basically like a decision or your determination.
And so that can begin to shift things as well
because God's like, okay, so she's making,
she's agreeing with me, accepting,
and taking me up on my offer to the degree that she can.
And he honors that and he loves that.
And he's like, hey, that's where she is right now
because remember, as I always say, if you're five, be five.
You don't have to be six yet.
You're not six.
You know, you're not six for a while.
In fact, at five, you're developing what you need at six,
but you, there's a reason you're not six yet
because you haven't developed it yet.
And so, so there's no condemnation.
So God's like, okay, that's where she is right now.
Jesus himself learned obedience
by the things that he suffered.
He wasn't born into it.
It says that he learned it,
learned obedience by the things that he suffered.
Now, yes, he never sinned, but it,
so that again, that just shows you that,
that there's a, in the learning process
and that you can learn without, without sinning,
that simply not knowing isn't a sin.
In fact, it even talks about it,
about certain things, you know, in Romans,
if we were to go that far talking about how the,
if there, if there's certain,
there's certain laws and things like that,
where God, where Paul talks in Romans
about the fact that he said, you're the,
if they're, if they don't know the law,
then they're not sinning against it
because they don't know it.
So anyway, so the thing is, it's just,
it's just, you learn, you are,
we are accountable for what it is that we know,
which is one of the reasons,
and one of the good graces that God gives us
is like being, being careful and intentional
about how he reveals things to us.
And when he reveals things,
because we're then accountable for what it is
that has been revealed to us,
where then there's a certain measure of responsibility
that we take to carry that thing,
to carry the weight of that revelation,
that the weight of that knowledge, et cetera.
And, and so it, which you don't have to,
if you don't, if that hasn't been revealed to you yet.
And so anyway, so all of that to what you're saying.
And I want to say one thing,
and then I want to hear something from Rita.
Rita, we want to hear from you.
I know, Rita, we have to hear something from you
before we leave, even if it's just time.
Yes, we do, Rita.
But somebody said something to me not that long ago.
I don't even know who it was,
but one day they just said, well, I'm expecting good.
I'm just going to expect good.
And so I've been just kind of practicing that.
And, you know, I'm just with all different things,
you know, so anyway, I was going to throw that out there.
Just, you know, my intention, my intention is for good.
I'm expecting good, you know.
God is good, so we can expect good.
So anyway, I don't even know.
You said it to me, but I want to throw that out there.
And now it's the floor is up to you, Rita.
We love you, Rita.
Oh, I thought I was going to say something about that.
Yeah, I know.
And I made a video, a video, but it won't load.
Is there a way you can directly record on the on your page or no?
No, not yet.
They're they're working on it.
They've built an app, but the app hasn't been hasn't rolled out to everyone yet.
But on the app, there is an option for live video.
I've seen it. It's very exciting.
But it hasn't rolled out to all the users, including me yet.
But yeah, OK.
Yeah, I'll just go back to typing it out then.
OK, so it will we'd love to see the video.
The one thing there's two things either either.
So make sure that you don't include an emoji in the writing
because Tammy said that she kept trying to upload her video
and realized it wasn't the video that was the problem.
She had an emoji.
So I'm sorry that there's no emojis and anything, but the comment
that also if you split up the video into two parts
and you know how to do that, I guess, on your phone
and you just split up,
but you duplicate the video and then grab the first part and save it
and grab the second part and save it.
And then that should upload.
The other thing is you could send it to you.
Yeah, I would try that if you absolutely can't send it to me
and then I'll try to upload it for you.
See if see if I can get it to upload and if I can't,
then I can maybe figure out why, because one of the things is that on
everybody's iPhone or everybody's phone is the difference.
Their video slash camera is set to different settings.
So say, for instance, if Tammy has a certain has lower settings on her
phone, that her video is recording
and takes up less, less room.
But yours, if your video settings, you know, because it's just how it came in
through the factory or whatever, even if you haven't touched it
and it said it's higher settings, that even if you do two minutes,
just like Tammy did, Tammy's is a lot smaller file than yours
and hers will upload and yours won't.
So it could be something like as simple as that.
Is that just the size of it?
And simply because your video settings are set at a particular rate.
And quite honestly, I have no idea what to tell you that they should be.
If like, what's a small size?
I have really no idea.
All I know is the general idea, the general theory of it or not the theory,
but the concept of it.
So if you try to do that.
And so, like I said, if you just can't just send it to me
and then I'll try to upload it because we'd love to see a video.
Videos are great.
And you've gone to all of the trouble to do a video.
We want to see that.
We don't want you to have to like
double double time your journey share by having to like
do the video and then type it out.
So, yeah. OK.
Well, we'll look forward to the journey share then. Yes.
Is there anything else we need to know, though, before we jump off?
No, not right now. No. OK.
Well, it's good to see everybody.
Good talk. And when I get a chance, I will.
And when I get good Internet, I will.
Which should be in the next day or two.
I'll be able to upload all of this stuff from this week, from this week.
All of the different
fireside chats and rest groups and all that good stuff.
So anyway. All right.
Well, it's good to see you all. You'll have a good night.
Can I make one quick comment to Rita?
It took my video a while to upload, so make sure you give it time.
OK. All right. Maybe you did.
But anyway, no, no, I I think it's my phone in the side.
Yeah, I think I need to check settings.
So, yeah, I'll try. Thank you. OK.
Love you all. Bye.