Hi everyone.
Hey Ashley.
Hey everyone.
I'm sorry it's a little dark.
I'm parked but I'm in the car.
Hey everybody.
Hey.
So how is everyone doing.
Hi guys.
Thank you.
Good. Oh, very excited we've got all four of us here.
Puffing in.
So, are you still on the road.
No, no, I'm not. I'm sorry.
I had a bit of a bit of a scheduling conflict.
So I mean I knew that both things were happening but the point is like it was just so close and I'm like, okay, we're, I'm just gonna have to do it in the car so I was like, which I don't mind.
So anyway, sorry, sorry that it's so dark, but I am here in present.
So, all right, so it is a Tuesday so what I'm going to do is remember it's a rest group so what I'm going to do is I'm just going to pop off.
You know on the off of the video and and microphone so I'm still here if anyone needs me, and then I'll pop on about like probably like 20 minutes till or based on the conversation, it might be a little longer.
I'm just kind of make sure everyone has had time to get to visit, you know, get to update everyone about their, their journeys.
So, anyway, and so, yeah, I'll just go ahead and do that so you'll have a good time and I'll be back on.
How's everyone doing.
Good. Sorry we missed I sorry I missed Sunday.
I kind of freaked out because my laptop the laptop was like it was falling apart so I was like, yeah.
Did you all meet anyway Rita.
Yeah, yeah me Tammy and me. Oh good.
Did you have a good night.
Yeah, it's good.
Did you have some good time with your hubby Karen.
Yeah, let me turn I'm sorry I've got my CD players playing some heavenly music but it's kind of loud for this.
Yeah, yeah it was just too many things.
But, yeah, yeah pretty good, pretty good time with.
And he got a new job he just started yesterday.
But, yeah, and then my night was kind of felt kind of rushed tonight I just I just finished eating a little bite so but I'm here. So, so yeah.
Yeah, Diana Did you get your computer going.
Yeah, it's still, it's kind of kind of piece it together, but I need to get. I need to get another one. Yeah, so, but it's all good.
Yeah, I thought I'll just, I'll just get on, on my, my phone, last resort but I kind of like to do the zoo. I'm not used to doing the zoom on my phone.
I mean I, I have it, I'm just not used to it so.
Yeah.
Well I'm glad you guys are with us today. Who's starting us off.
Thank you.
Go ahead, Tammy.
I really don't have that much to say.
Community group.
Always like, who's gonna pray or whoever said it first it was like tag your head.
Yeah, that's so funny.
I, I guess let me see. I've been really in a peaceful place.
I guess Rita asked the question that I was thinking the same thing on Sunday just in regards to, you know, not wanting to get stagnant I guess I shared that in my, in my last journey share and just having all of these, you know, having experiences and feeling like
God was just really speaking to me quickly and.
it was just felt so personal to just going to more of like, I don't know, I guess felt like more like
regular life and kind of like feeling a little bit of anxiety, kind of like, oh no, like where did it
go, you know? But I feel good and I really don't have any complaints. Let's see.
I don't know, like overall, I think Ashley's response to that question really, really helped
like kind of understanding like what normal, what the norm is and then like what's just extra
icing and cherry on top type of situation with that and so that I can like recalibrate. So
that was really good and I really just kind of, I'm just encouraged with my marriage. It's been
going really, really great. We had a great two weeks and that was a big concern when I started
and just, I just see God moving and let's see, any other praise reports? Oh, just
things that have been on my heart that I was journaling to God about and I was like, okay,
I didn't feel like I really heard like a really clear response. I just have learned though to,
I don't know how to say it, like just give it to him and even if it doesn't go away as quickly as
it has in the past, that as I, as Ashley had mentioned, like just really kind of settled
myself into who he says I am and like express the emotions to God but like am able to kind of
distance myself from it but like not in an unhealthy, I'm ignoring it way but in a more of a
way like where you just get emotional distance where it just doesn't, it doesn't affect you the
same way. Like you don't feel so emotionally tied to it. You can kind of release it. I have been
seeing like God just, he's just uses, he's like, okay, well Tammy, you know how to address these
situations. Like go to the person and ask and see if there's anything going on and so that's
been really helpful. I did that with my husband. I did it with someone else and so that way I can,
things that were like nudging at my heart that I thought like, oh, was there a fence or was I sad?
Like am, you know, am I crazy or whatever is going on? I've been able to like give that to
God and he has shown me how to like talk to whoever that other person is in a relationship to ensure
that like the relationship continues and goes smoothly and so that's really good and it's like
good real life stuff that, you know, you need and so I think that's really about it. It's nothing
like crazy monumental but I'm in a really good place and I feel like I'm at rest. Oh, oh my God,
something actually did happen really good today and then I'll be quiet. Okay, because I did not
prepare for this at all and I was like, I would just think while other people are talking.
Oh, okay. So, you know, I've just kind of been like, okay, Lord, he's been restoring. I've been,
I was so burned out just from work for just grinding. I guess five years ago, I was in grad
school and then Rita knows and I was like, then I got a promotion to like a coach and then the next
year was an assistant principal and just it was, it was just an onslaught and I was just, I've been
going, running crazy for five years and I feel like this has been my year definitely of rest
and I was trying to make it into other things like, okay, well now I need to start on this
next endeavor but I never really asked God about what that next endeavor was and so once I
opened my hands and released that to God, I've really just been enjoying the last three weeks
and just being at peace and where I am and like God has provided, don't worry, I'm not worrying
about tomorrow because like I have enough, you know, for a minute and I have skills and if I
need to go back to work, when I need to go back to work, I have skills and my degree is still good
and it's fine, you know. So, but I really do have a desire in my heart like and I've had words of
knowledge just about like being a business owner and start having multiple businesses and
money not being an issue and so I always feel like I was trying to make that happen on my own
and once I kind of released it and released that accusation against God,
today I had a moment where I was just brainstorming things that just kind of give
me joy and that were little bookmarks in my brain years and years ago about things that I was
wanted to do. And, like, I just had this brainstorming session,
like, I'm like, it was so good. So I was thinking about the
things that I'm that God has gifted me in. And one of those
things I think is just is writing. One has been reading
with in one has been, like, I think I have an eye for color.
And I like love design and I like order. And so I just
realized that it's like, I'd always just kind of honed in on
that one academic thing. And that one, that one way of, like,
being a teacher or being an educator, that's that one thing
that it just kind of felt like easy to slide into academically
to go into being in to being a job. But it's like, this time
has been great for me to be able to start to guide to really
reveal and remind me of those things, other things, gifts that
he gave me, and other ways that I can co create with him. And so
I had this brainstorming session, I was like, Oh, I want
to write curriculum, like, and just things that give me joy in
areas that I feel like are missing in that space. And it
was just really great, because and then my our friend, Rita,
and our friend had talked about how she sent a verse about, you
know, but it was with the TPD of tea about his, anything that
we do for God, we're just remember that it's, it's, it's
going to be easy, he's going to be gentle with us, he it's not
going to be like striving, right, that type of thing. And I
just had that moment of just like that session of just like
just journaling out some ideas, brainstorming some ideas. And I
was like, Oh, my gosh, this is so cool. And like, there's a
total need for this in the market and just different
strategies. And I just really felt like I was co creating with
God in that moment. And it's just really exciting. So I know
when I really started talking to Ashley, at the very beginning, I
was just kind of like, what does co creation mean? Like, what do
I do for the business? Like, what? Oh, my God, I have a my
lease is almost up, you know what I mean? And so like, those
things have just been falling into place. And even with the
whole lease thing, and like buying another home, just like
able to have those conversations with my husband, where things
have been like, before I was just really apprehensive,
because I'm like, Oh, God, he's about to snap my head off, or
he's not ready to have this conversation, or he felt anxiety
about it. Like, we just been having those conversation. And
guys also been giving me, like understanding about when to
bring it to him and like the right timing so that like, he's
in a better like he's in a good mental space. And so like,
we've had those conversations, which, like two, two years ago,
in my marriage, I'd be trying to have that conversation. And it
was like, not good. And now is like, yes, we're like talking
about the future together, building stuff together. So
that's really a blessing, because that hadn't always been
the case. So God is an amazing marriage counselor. And things
like I'm all about real marriage counsel, like marriage counsel
with a person, but it's like, I realized that it doesn't have to
be just like, it doesn't have to come through a person or through
a pre existing system. Like, I'm really understanding that,
like, he can lead me to that, because that that person might
be the answer that God wants to speak through a situation. But
it doesn't always like God can speak directly to my husband
about something or break down those strong, break down those,
the stony heart or whatever. So it's great, because I realized
that that can operate in that way in many facets of our life.
And so I'm just recording those records. And it's good stuff. So
those are my praise report. So
that's awesome, Tammy. That's great. Yeah. Good for you. God
is on the move. Yes, yes.
Thanks for letting me talk through because that was like a
whole little journey. I'm sorry. But yeah,
thank you for sharing that journey. We I enjoyed it. I know
Rita and Diana did too. It was awesome. Thank you. It's
encouraging to and and I'll go next unless someone else wants
to. Okay. Yeah, it's Yeah, that was good. Because you know,
that's one thing you brought up at the end. I'll start with
maybe is I feel like I haven't been. I know. I haven't been
dreaming that much with God. And I think I might have brought
that up before brought it up to Ashley. I'm not sure maybe to
you all but you know, I've been asking him to open up those
dreams again. And, and I'm not sure what all's blocked those
dreams. But God knows. So. So yeah, so that's
one thing, you know, it's kind of like I've been just kind of staying, you know, feel like I've
kind of been existing in the now and, and so not, not looking that far into the future. And so
anyway, so I'm glad you said that, Tammy, that was encouraging. And, and with my, you know,
and I've been, I feel like I have been more at rest and between, you know, the work I've been
doing for quite a while. And then this I have felt more peaceful, more rest, which is great.
And kind of more even driving along today. I, I got to go see Jesus revolution with two of my
good, good friends. And, and then, then I went, how is it? It's good. It's good. I want to see it.
It's worth seeing. I've already seen it twice. And I don't even go to movies, you guys.
I saw it with Ken too Sunday. So then I went and got a massage today. And then I had real estate
stuff too, but I felt myself just relaxed driving to this massage. Just as like, even putting off
calls, people trying to call me and I'm like, no, I'm going to call him later. I'm just,
I'm going to stay in this peaceful place. And because in the past I'd sometimes get anxious
because, you know, too many things and calls. I get calls coming in from whatever real estate
and different things. And I was like, no, I'll call him later. And it turned me into making
some calls later tonight and doing, but, but it worked out. Okay. And it's kind of like, I can,
I can kind of take control of that with God and I can stay in a peaceful place and more choosing,
you know, choosing to know, I don't need to make those calls right now. I'm going to,
I'm going to enjoy my, my time and go into my massage peacefully, you know, instead of
rushed off the phone or whatever and getting off the phone or whatever.
So that was just kind of a nice realization, you know, realizing more that, you know, we can,
you know, we kind of, as it's saying in our lives or what we've made it, you know? And
so that, that was kind of, that's, that's been kind of good is just, and real estate,
you know, real estate's still been kind of as, as it can be a little challenging. However,
I have a closing in the morning, praise the Lord. And I still believe it's going to happen. And,
and I've had some difficult clients, but even Ken reminded me the other day, he said, you know,
they needed you to pray for them. And because they were, they were really stressed in this client
calling me three or four times a day because their closing was going to be late, but they were,
he reminded me that they lost a son a few years ago. And they told me that when I met him, but
he reminded me it was on Valentine's day. So this month had been extremely hard for his wife.
So I just immediately prayed and just released peace. And Ken even just reminded me. And it
reminded me when Ken said that, that many of my clients have been for a, I mean, they're all for
a reason by, from God, but many of my clients, God's used me to pray for, you know, and speak a
word to or whatever. I mean, my whole time I've been in real estate, that's what he's done.
So it kind of brought me back to full circle, but Oh yeah, this may be difficult, but they needed me.
These people needed me to help them. They, they were a four cell by owner that I called and they
were struggling so bad. They called me back and said, we need your help. And it has been a difficult
one and they've been a little difficult, but they needed, you know, they needed help with this
and God, I was able to be a vessel. So we're going to see it through. And I'm
and they're still gonna, they're still packing tonight and moving stuff. I just came out from
there and got my real estate sign and stuff, but, but it brought me back to, yes, God has
done this many times over my whole time in real estate. And, and so, so that's been good to kind
of come back to that truth of that, you know, that it's not, it's always been about
me being a blessing to them and they back to me, but it's, it's this reciprocal thing. So anyway,
that was really good. And, and to, to see that again and know that, and also staying more at
rest, you know, knowing God's, God's got me no matter, no matter what I'm starting to see more,
you know, he's going to take care of me. I've had, I worried so much in the past, you guys,
I really did. And so I'm really coming to a place with, like Ashley's taught us to choose God
and I'm choosing good. I think I said this last week, I'm choosing someone else said it. I'm,
I'm choosing to expect good, expect good, you know.
And even with my relationship with Ken, I don't know.
I don't really know what else can happen.
And we're not, you know, we're not totally living together.
Cause he, when he moved out, when we split up last year, his kids bought a house and
he kind of bought a house with them.
So, um, and he just got a new job, which he started yesterday and he likes.
Um, but he's also taking a part-time job.
So he got a new full-time job and another job.
He just told me tonight on the phone.
He's going to take it too.
So, you know, I just have to, I'm learning to just leave, leave that to the Lord,
you know, and, uh, work on me and leave the relationship up to him too.
But, you know, but we aren't really planning much together right now.
You know what I mean?
In a way, I'm just kind of trying to be at peace and, you know, you know, it's,
it's, it's going to work out or it's not, I mean, it's not up to me though.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't have to try to figure it out or make it work.
And that's the one big thing in the sessions I did with that ministry.
I did, um, is found out that I had this thing.
I don't know if I told you all this, but I had this thing and it was way back in
my generational line that I felt like I kind of needed to be the linchpin, which
means that's when I guess kind of holds everything together and, uh, and I don't
know if I told you all that, but so I've let that go so I don't have to be the
linchpin in ministry that I'm involved with or in, you know, real estate or in
my relationship and so, you know, um, so that's freeing, so that's, that's freeing,
you know, on the other hand, it's a little, you know, it's a little scary
cause I don't, I don't know.
I mean what the real, it's not scary, but it's a little like, okay, yeah, I can,
maybe you can say the word a little scared to just, okay, the Lord, the Lord's got
it all, you know, it's scary, but it's also good.
You know what I mean?
Um, but I, I, I'm also trying to find a balance in there.
What I mean by scared, a balance of still of, of starting to set healthier
boundaries too, and still stay connected.
Cause I found out from that book that Danny silk book, keep your love on about
my past had where I disconnected a lot, connected, disconnected some with my
family and people and about, um, commute kingdom and communication, trying to
learn that and, and have boundaries.
So, you know, but like Tammy said, there's lots of help and God's the best teacher.
Holy spirit's with us and, and, um, and also working on my health and, um, or,
you know, you know, coming into truth and that and, and, and, um, so I'm just
kind of trying to roll with it, you know, and roll with this relationship.
Ken and I have been enjoying some time together and, um, and I don't have to,
I don't have to figure it out.
So that's probably one of my best takeaways is, is I'm not the
linchpin anymore and I don't have to figure it all out.
So, um, so yeah, yeah.
And, and for that, I like that, Karen, I don't have to be the linchpin.
I like that.
Do you like that?
So yeah.
Yeah.
And I'm going to dream again, but God, you guys, I'm going to start, I know.
Yeah.
So anyway, I'll, I'll stop there and let someone else, I'll, I'll tell
you a dream again, uh, really quick.
Um, if you don't mind Rita, since she's talking about dream again, um, when I
was, uh, I got divorced, you know, I was married 20, almost 22 years and I
got divorced and I went and moved with my mother because I really couldn't
afford to live on my own and, uh, my mom lived by herself.
So one day I was driving close to downtown here, San Antonio.
And I heard the Holy spirit said, you know, park, like get off, right.
And in this area that I now live in, and I said, what did I hear the Lord?
Right.
Did I hear, is it you God you're telling me?
And I knew it was because no way I would have thought that.
Right.
So I parked my car and I get off and I just, I just felt like to walk around.
So I start walking around this neighborhood and, uh, as I was walking, I saw this
house, beautiful house, because this area is a historical district.
These houses are from the 1800s, 1900s.
And so I get off and I saw this beautiful house and I heard the
Holy spirit say, dream again.
And what was weird and weird, but is that I had forgotten that.
When I was a teenager, I used to walk this area.
And I used to dream looking at these houses because I used to like to read novels, 18th century novels, I used to love those novels.
And so I wouldn't imagine like I want to live there I would imagine like, how was it I would be thinking novelish, you know, how is it like, how are these houses in the end those days you know something like that.
But anyway, God reminded me. So, I was walking around this neighborhood when I saw for rent sign.
So I get off, and I'm like, Okay, I don't plan on moving, but I'm just going to see, call the number, call the lady.
The landlord. She's, she comes over she goes let me show it to because I only live like two blocks away. She comes we talked for an hour, she, she doesn't know me only an hour have I been talking to her, and she says, it's yours if you want it.
All she knows is my name.
She knows nothing about me.
And then, no way.
And then, and then what is what is of the Lord, because when I got divorced my ex husband was supposed to pay all these bills with my in the divorce, where there was some that he didn't pay.
So, it lowered my credit rating.
So I thought, you know, how am I going to get a good apartment with you know my credit not being as good as it used to be.
She didn't even.
And what I couldn't believe when I moved in here, because these are like million dollar houses in this area. And I live in a little part, my building is like a 1900, it's like 100 years old.
It's redone, right.
But I walk around and literally I'm just like, you know, so, yeah, I mean, and I have been dreaming. He got me to dream again.
Not in a way like, oh I want those houses not like that, just, but to, to just have a dream like to have something bigger than me.
You know what I'm saying like, because I have, I was in a rut, I was, you know, after the divorce, I thought, you know, imagine that many years, and he wanted me to dream again.
And just real quickly before we go to Rita, I just wanted to say that I was thinking because we only have a week left and I was thinking to myself, how just about these weeks, and just what God has done.
And because I'm such a doer, a striver, like striver, that I'm, I'm never usually still enough.
I don't know how to rest, like I've had two jobs, like I'm just doing, doing, doing, doing.
But during this time, I've actually taken a physical rest.
And since I had my fall, I had, I took a little bit of more rest.
And God has really been speaking to me and it, a lot of things have come up to the surface like, I think I mentioned I had like grief and discouragement and disappointment, just things from my past.
Had I not taken the time.
Had I not rested, had I not been still.
Those things would have been floating up for me to deal with, or for God to deal with me and God to do.
And so, and like this past week it has been a lot of disappointment, a lot of disappointment, but it's, it's good because even in the disappointment and the discouragement that God is showing me that I had over certain things.
He's still good, like he's still, you know, just with me like he's like I feel him like he's still here. He's like, Okay, we have to process these things but it's okay I'm with you, you know, and so, and if it had not been for this for Ashley and this group.
And up to this level, like I don't, I don't think I would have been here. I would have not known what this kind of rest feels like I've never had it in my entire life.
You know, at all.
So yeah, amazing.
It's amazing what God is doing. I could cry.
I could cry. So, yeah.
That's so good.
Diana. Yeah.
She has a lot of freedom to but yeah, thank you for sharing your dream. It's very encouraging. Yeah
And you're processing stuff with the lord. So I imagine you're crying a lot
Diana, yeah, as it is i'm a cry baby, so
I think I thought it was like hormones. I thought maybe it's my age
Maybe it's the hormones, but i'm like no i've always been a weeper. So
Yeah, i'm probably a weeper but i've been avoiding it so but thank you for yeah sharing that and
Yeah, like ashley said I can
Deal with her or stay stay where i'm at. And yeah
Thanks for sharing
Um, so for me i've just
Tried to stop
Working or you know chasing?
The thing or the feeling or the experience with the lord and just um
Try to see you know, just try to look for him, you know when i'm not too busy
I notice like I work all day and then i'm like, oh my gosh, I forget again that
You know jesus is here with me and we could have been doing this together. But um
you know, but when I am
Intentional about seeking him. I just feel like
I guess beautiful or that he brings beauty to my life and he shows it. Um
And he shows up a lot I feel like in nature or just when I
Look, I just like oh, that's beautiful. I just accept it as a gift and even on my screen. I was like
Lord I I was just there last last year
You know, like, you know how they have those beautiful. Um
You know screensavers. I was like
I've been there and yeah, it was just a beautiful reminder that you know, he
He takes me to places that i've you know
I've never been and I guess that was something I did start doing was start dreaming because I never thought I would ever go anywhere
Like especially growing up like traveling. We just always went to family's house or friend's house and
or, you know just someplace and not to just
um
I guess
Enjoy nature or just go out there and see what the world's like and not just go somewhere to do something
um, I don't know if i'm explaining that well, but
yeah, so just that picture reminded me of
if I remember dreaming and you know, he's taken me to a lot of places that i've never like imagined I could go and
yeah, and for you to say to
Start dreaming again, like like everybody today. I just really felt like
um
What is it the connection, uh when y'all spoke I could really feel the presence of the lord and
Yeah, I love that
So, thank you all for sharing everything and yeah, it's very encouraging
Thank you, I have to tell you rita
Thank you for sharing
Yes, the way you were sitting there earlier
Your head was over to the left a little bit
And I don't know what that is back there, but it looked like you've had a crayon on your head tonight. Oh
the whole time
It's like rita has a crayon on
So I just wanted to share that you've got to put a crayon on your head. Yeah. Thank you
your crowned one
so yeah, and
One quick thought came to me to rita when you said that was another thing I learned in some of the healing
I was just doing
right kind of
Consecutively with this was one other thing that came up and I may have already said this but
if I did maybe i'm supposed to say it again, but
For you for somebody or for me too is that I had an expectancy of things not working out
So that was something else I found out that
because of past or I don't know if it was just my past or bloodline or whatever, but I kind of had an expectancy of
of
Not good of things just not working out. So
If you expect that
You probably create it, you know
You co-create, you know, so this has been so good to
even from the beginning to start out how we did choosing god and choosing god is good and
You know and and then start just saying i'm expecting good and then getting free from some of those things that were holding me back
so
So yeah, we can you know, we can keep
keep moving forward. And thank you, Rita, for, for your share.
That was I do feel like, like you said, we were all connected,
very connected here. And, and I do feel God's presence too. It's
it's a thank you. Thank you all. Thank you, Karen. Thank you.
Thank you, God for helping us all dream again. Yeah. And go
create with you, God. I mean, I kind of have an expectancy like
I loved I love to see, you know, and pray for children to
come out of bad, you know, bad situations. And I know
trafficking is one thing that's on my heart a lot. But yeah,
just to dream again, even, you know, about my life and about
whatever God wants me to dream about. So thank you all for
sharing tonight. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Karen.
Hey, everyone loved hearing all of y'all's and y'all's updates
and loved hearing the connection and I noticed Oh my word. Okay,
it's a theme of dreaming tonight with the Lord. That's wonderful
because it's believing. Remember, it's not just that,
oh, you know, I like to dream. The root of that is, is set is
choosing to believe God is good, choosing to believe he's more
good than we've been believing that he was, that we actually
that we actually can expect like you're talking about Karen that
we can actually expect good things. Not sure God's the one
who gets to choose what they look like God's one who gets to
choose the outcome. And he fuels it. He provides for it. He he
provides the energy for it. But, you know, we he he's always
good. And he's love and everything moves toward in his
everything in his efforts moves towards more love, more freedom,
more openness, etc. And so anyway, that's exciting. Well,
does anyone have? I don't know any questions or, or thoughts
about anything that was said? I don't know that you're maybe
wondering connections between certain things that were said
and like, well, how do we then therefore do this? Or I'm
assuming everyone understands what it means to do with what it
is that y'all have all been talking about to do it and rest
and, or and then like Diana said, I mean, remember that
today is is the next to the last today is in the next to the last
week of the rest intensive. And I want to make sure that
everyone I do my best to make sure that everyone owns the
understanding of what rest is to the point that you can own this
for yourself, that we don't have to have talked about every
example, every situation for that you can come into an
unknown situation, you can come into one that we've not talked
about at all and know, okay, this is how this is how I
operate in rest in this in this area, or this is how I shift
into rest. And then from that place of rest, I have access to
obviously the Lord's heart, the Lord's will, the Lord's
understanding, the spirit of wisdom, spirit of knowledge,
spirit of understanding all the spirits of the seven spirits of
God, and therefore from him, I can then know therefore what to
do. So, but anyway, so so just thinking about not trying to
like get everybody to think about Oh, yeah, we'll think
about towards the end. But just just keep that in mind of like,
of what questions do y'all have of how to continually own this
and live this out? Does anyone know have anything that's been
coming up? Maybe y'all are all good, but you got it. But is
there anything?
Well, you know, at the beginning, when I started this, I
wanted I think I told you that I wanted like the striving to
stop. And so when I heard you say in the video, just stop. He
said something about like, just stop, you know, and I thought,
well, that's the answer. I need to just stop, right. So for for
the first few weeks, I wasn't such a major striver. Like I was
I was raised in church. So yeah, and then I went to Christian
school. So I mean, it was years upon years upon years of reading
the Bible, praying and fasting and, you know, just just can't
get holy enough and clean enough and pure enough. And of course,
after my divorce, you know, I was left with so many things.
But anyway, the point being is that I got into the striving
again, when I went back and just fasting, fasting, praying,
praying, and which is not a bad thing. But then when I
encountered your on Facebook, and I just stopped like
I completely stopped my routine or what,
call it what you will in the morning,
getting up and reading my Bible and praying and doing that.
I just said, you know what, God, if you're in the,
if I can find you in the morning, I can find you at night.
I'm gonna change it up to break up the monotony, you know?
And I just completely stopped.
And it was such a blessing
because it took me out of the religious rut.
So my, I say all that to say that, do you still struggle?
Do you ever find yourself trying to go back
to that religious, how do you completely break free
of that religious thing?
I don't even know what to call it.
Yeah.
Do you ever find yourself?
Oh, heck yeah.
I've married a husband who continually reminds me,
Ashley, you remember what you teach, right?
Okay, now's a really good time to apply it.
Like, dang it.
So, yes.
So really what this is, is this is a lifestyle,
you know, that I choose.
I choose, okay, I choose to live the way Jesus lived.
So that's how I'm living.
And what Jesus did is he continually was in situations
where he had to choose the father.
Do I choose something else or do I choose the father?
Do I choose to provide for and protect myself?
Or do I choose to do what I see the father doing?
And he always chose to do what the father did.
So that's what I'm doing, is I'm always in that situation
where I have to choose.
And so that's living how Jesus lived.
And so I'm learning how to live the rest of what he lived,
which is to always make the choice towards the father
as opposed to towards self-protection
or self-provision or whatever.
You know, striving, sweating, you know,
working towards my own,
working towards creating my own predictable outcome.
And which technically we can't do,
but you can get yourself,
you've got a high enough,
you've got a significant probability
or a significant possibility of doing so
by following the principles that God created,
you know, that the kingdom of this world operates in,
you know, you follow these business principles,
you know, get you this result and you do that.
But anyway, but obviously there's a higher reality than that
and that's the principles of the kingdom of God.
And that's the one that I choose to always default to,
meaning like that I choose in general to always default to,
meaning like, hey, that's my intention,
but do I always end up doing that in every situation?
No.
And so, yeah, I obviously still struggle
because like I was trying to say,
trying to make it a point of earlier is I've chosen,
this is the lifestyle that I choose,
which is a lifestyle of overcoming.
That's what Jesus did.
It says that he learned obedience
by the things that he suffered.
He wasn't born like that.
Now he never sinned,
but he continually had to make a choice.
He continually did.
And every time he did, he overcame.
And then he chose again, all right,
I'm in this situation again,
do I choose this or do I choose the father?
He said, I choose the father.
Who does God say that he is?
Who does my father say that he is?
To what degree does he say that he is that?
Who does he say that I am?
And to what degree does he say that I am that?
And that always choosing God is what overcomes the flesh.
And even Jesus went through the process of overcoming.
So what it is that we're doing
is we're aiming to live the way that Jesus did,
which is to live the process of overcoming,
not to cross one main threshold of,
I was out, now I'm in, or whatever.
That was salvation.
And we're confusing it with salvation.
So we've already done it.
We've already crossed in.
We've already crossed the threshold.
So now it's the process of overcoming.
Now it's the working out of our salvation.
So we've already been saved.
We already have the salvation,
but now we're working it out.
We're bringing it from the spirit down into our soul,
down into our body so that every aspect of us
is expressing the fact that we already have the salvation.
We're not becoming saved.
We're not becoming more and more saved.
It's just working it out so that it actually gets,
it's gone from the inside towards the outside.
Okay, now you can see it in this realm,
the realm of the soul, and pushing it further out.
Okay, now you can see it in this realm,
the realm of the body.
So yes, I absolutely,
struggle every day, because I'm always given all kinds of wonderful opportunities, but
what it is that I've chosen is that, okay, I'm going to follow my father.
I'm going to have faith in my father, but what I have to learn is, God, what does it
look like to see you?
Where are you?
What do you look like?
What do you sound like?
What does it look like to follow you in this particular situation?
By situation, I don't necessarily mean in a particular life circumstance.
I'm talking about in what's going on in my heart and what the external situation is triggering
in me, Lord, mature me to see, to make sure that I am operating out of my union with you
so that I operate out of always faith instead of self-preservation, self-protection or whatever,
and then Lord, show me, how do you express that into the physical?
So Lord, right now, I'm engaging with this other person, or Lord, right now, because
we had the international rest intensive earlier today, and that's one of the things that we
were talking about, so I'll get that uploaded, and that's one of the things that you'll see
that we were talking about is, well, how do we engage with other people when we find ourselves
in those situations?
Or maybe it's about finances and we're finding ourselves in a particular financial situation.
Okay, Lord, I have X bill due or whatever at such and such a time, at such and such a
deadline, and Lord, I haven't seen the physical manifestation of your provision yet.
What does it look like to have faith in you when you haven't promised me X amount of money?
You just promised me that you are my provider.
You didn't promise me that I'd meet the deadline.
You promised that you're my provider.
What does it look like, Lord, to trust in you as my provider and not be anxious about
whether or not I'm going to see it manifested in a particular way?
If I don't see it manifested in a particular way, what do I do?
How do I handle the soul part of not being anxious, having faith in you to the point
where I'm not anxious about the physical manifestation?
And then, Lord, if I pass the deadline and I didn't see any physical manifestation, what
do I then do to partner with you to help meet these obligations that I have?
If you tell me I'm not to sweat for it, in other words, I'm not supposed to be anxious,
stressed, work for an outcome.
How do I partner with you to help physically manifest money or whatever without being anxious
about it, without being stressed about what it could do to my reputation or to my credit
or to my whatever?
So what I'm talking you through are situations I've been in, I don't know how many times.
So God has, the majority of the time, he has met me on or before the 11th hour.
But there have been times where he's allowed the 11th hour to come and go and be very long
gone.
So I'm walking you through what I have to walk through with the Lord.
It's like, Lord, how do I follow you?
Who do I say that you are in this situation?
How do I truly live at rest when everything did go to hell in a handbasket?
Not, oh, it could.
No, it did.
Now, Lord, who do I say that you are and how, and now am I anxious?
Now that it's happened, now that it's not a potential, now that it's here, who do I say
that you are?
And now, Lord, how do I act like your son?
If you were in my situation, what would you do?
You know, how would you feel?
How would I have faith in you?
You know, what do I believe about you?
And then, and then, therefore, Lord, all of that can be good.
And I can, I can have faith in you.
Now, how do I partner with you in the physical sense, you know, to, I don't know, to, to
meet this financial obligation or whatever.
And I'm just giving that as an example.
So yeah, I absolutely, I absolutely do.
But what it is that I choose is, and this is something I was talking to somebody about.
I don't remember who.
It was in one of the, it was one of the groups.
Maybe it was the last Fireside Chat we had, I don't remember.
But I said, what's important is that we don't choose rest.
What we choose is God.
Rest is the byproduct.
And so we have to choose God.
And then from that, we'll receive the rest.
as opposed to chasing the manifestation, which is rest, so to speak.
The manifestation or the place where all the benefits, what we want to choose is God.
And so that's what sustains me through it all.
So when I say that what it is that I've chosen and how is it that I live,
I live always choosing God, not choosing rest.
Rest, remember, is simply my union with him.
It's the place of my union.
So in order to actually get to that, I actually have to choose that intimacy.
In other words, that being.
And so anyway, is that helpful?
Yes, thank you. Very helpful. Yes.
Okay, good.
So anyway, like I said, if you if we focus on choosing God and I'm not trying to say that, oh, rest,
you know, trying to devalue rest or something, I'm saying that's how you that's how you sustain this is.
It's not a it's not a oh, this is just nice during the rest intensive.
Now, how do I keep it or how to because a lot of people, you know, get very.
Well, I don't want to say everyone, but I would say at least most people get concerned about how do I maintain or what will happen after the program is over?
You know, we just remember because a lot of times, you know, they have this they have this feeling of and I'm not saying this is you.
This is just this what you're talking about prompts me to mention this because this is this is something that other people bring up is.
They there can they get a sense of security in the community or in me, you know, in other words, having a person to bounce things off of or be able to articulate maybe a milestone that they're going through or whatever.
So just what it is that you're doing it.
You know what it is that we're doing is we're choosing that God is that being that is giving us that security.
In other words, he is he's not a he's not a concept.
He's that he's the relationship.
He's the connection with something outside of ourselves with a living being outside of ourselves that will that we continue to do this with.
He's the community that we keep doing it with.
So that's what keeps me going.
It's not the rest that I keep pursuing.
Like I said, it's the byproduct.
I bet it's something if I if I worded as rest that more people can relate to and understand but really once people get a rest intensive they understand.
Oh, so what we're really talking about is giving up everything giving up our lifestyle giving up everything that is that we've been holding on to and choosing God instead and when we do that what happens is we're in this place of rest.
So if you just choose God that's a stabilizing thing that whole that you call on to no matter what the ways the circumstances and situations come look like as opposed to always looking for rest or always being concerned that you're shifting out of rest and always trying to get back in.
And if you do that, then that can feel like they're you've traded these old principles for of like oh well I used to do this in order to get this now though I know better and I'm more spiritual and I now know instead I need to be pursuing this in order to get rest.
We're not trading what we're doing is we're releasing everything it is that we did and we felt obligated to do and now we're just choosing God.
And whatever it is Lord I just choose to have faith that you are who you say you are to the degree you say you are that and that I am who you say that I am to the degree you say I am that and that's it period.
And that like I said is will keep you through this will keep you in this lifestyle, as opposed to trading in oh I used to follow all these rules now I'm just always trying to shift into rest.
The whole shifting into resting is just a way that I phrase it because it's easier for people who are doers to be able to grasp that concept, as opposed to giving up doing in order and choosing God, because they're like that is like saying okay trade yellow for an apple.
It's like, I don't understand, you can trade people understand okay trade yellow for orange or trade apple for for a banana, but what they don't understand is no trade yellow for.
an airplane. It's like that that doesn't compute because in their mind there's no connection,
but really that's what it is that we're having to do is we're having to choose something totally
other because God isn't a thing we can do. He's not a he's not a even a principle we can follow.
It's not a formula that we trade our old formulas or old principles or rules for and instead we
choose well how do we do God like he does God you know how do we do stuff like that it's no you're
choosing a being that you that you that you get to live your life by flowing in and out of him
by in and out I don't mean like you're you're popping out of him you're popping in of him
into him I'm talking about you're in him and you're flowing you're flowing through him and
he's flowing through you and then out of that state of being you start you start expressing
yourself and that expressing in the in the not in the principles of the kingdom of God
phrase but the principles the king of the world phrase is called doing there's no such thing as
doing in the kingdom of God that's just the only it's it's it's like the kingdom of God doesn't
have that word and it speaks Greek but if you have to translate Greek into English which is
the kingdom of this of this world well then you would call it doing but technically that word
doesn't exist over here you know so anyway I know that that was a lot but is that helpful okay good
good but the reason I tell you that is that is sustainable the other isn't sustainable someone
already was talking to us um I think it was Renata she was mentioning it in a previous
rest group I believe last week about her struggle and so I had talked to I had um I'd mentioned that
to her hoping it would be helpful that if you stop trying because she was saying you know it's
interesting she said if I'm not careful she said I find shifting into rest now the hard work and
the effort and strife and the sweat that I need to put into things and I said yeah you said it's
helpful if you stop because that that's exhausting I said so it's helpful if you stop thinking about
always trying to shift into rest and all you're doing is you're choosing God but but see now
y'all can understand that see at the beginning it's hard for me to explain from where we went
as so performance driven and so doing and the formula and whatever and say oh no just choose
a being and we're like okay what again that's whole yellow to apple thing it's like hey there's
no comparison so how can you say like go with yellow and choose apple those are two different
categories of things so what I do is kind of like a stepping stone as I say hey instead of doing this
shift into rest you know and so it's like okay I got that a little bit better bit better but if
you grab a hold of shifting into rest is the new thing to do it's not sustainable for the same
reason that the other wasn't we still try to compute it as something to do and we can't do
anymore we have to be and the only way that we can be is to choose being a relationship you know
choose a being and have the relationship with that being assuming that's a very long explanation
there you go I'll probably like talk that into some little teaching somewhere just like okay
let's start good hopefully that'll be helpful all right so it is nine o'clock but does anyone have
I always I always open it up for like one one more question if anyone has anything does anyone
have anything before we go I always like to open it up are you shaking your head no she's she
understands she can teach the class now next next rest intensive read is teaching I nominate Rita
that was helpful though Ashley I think Rita I think Rita's holding back
I know I know sometimes I hear her response to people I'm like people listen to Rita
yeah that was a good that's probably should be the closing of every rest group is what you said
because I was like yes Renata that was that's exactly what I was feeling but didn't know that
was happening that I was trying to shift and not choose the being so yeah I needed it yeah
good I'm glad it was helpful okay so again feedback like that lets me know okay how to
how to better explain this earlier in the rest for other people I'm always learning I'm always
learning every rest intensive I'm learning how to how to explain things better and more succinctly
it's so much better now that you know that it used to be so anyway because I'm always trying
to learn and like make things a little more concise and so which interestingly I end up not
necessarily I do make things more concise but that what that kind of means is that I
then jam pack more and more.
I don't want to say more information, but kind of like more information into it.
Like for instance, a lot of times what I end up talking about these days is in
addition to all of the other stuff, I've started talking about stuff about like
the importance of like choosing yourself or the important and owning oneself
or losing weight and rest or whatever.
So that's what ends up filling up the rest intensive as I become more and more
concise, I end up being able to touch on more subjects, like, kind of like expand.
If anyone's ever played chicken foot and dominoes, it's like chicken foot.
It's like, okay, well now you can make this branch and you know, you can include
that in there's enough time to include this branch in anyway.
All right.
I didn't know, but y'all, I don't like chicken foot.
I don't know what my deal is.
I don't know if I got burned out on it, but my family loved playing chicken foot.
They got on this kick and I'm like, I don't ever want to play chicken foot again.
I don't know what my deal is.
I don't know why.
It seems like something I'd like, but it's not.
So anyway, total side note, nobody needed to know that.
It's very negative.
Okay.
All right.
Well, I will talk to y'all later then let's see tonight is Tuesday.
So I will see y'all Thursday night.
I hope y'all have a good one.
Thank you.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
I forgot about a couple of things to let y'all know about.
First of all, I've tried to update several things.
So all of the fireside chats are up to date.
I'm trying to get the rest groups posted there.
I was having some trouble doing some uploads this afternoon.
So some of them aren't posted, but I'll try to finish getting
the rest groups all caught up.
And now that I'm in one place, my husband got, got his internet today.
Today's our first day with internet.
I'm so excited.
Um, and Dan, um, and then I also, Tammy, I had posted the ultimate choice that
we had talked about on Sunday or Thursday, whenever that was, I've got,
it's an article, it's just this write up and it's posted now in the rest
retreat and supportive teachings.
And then the last thing is y'all have, um, y'all all have transformation
sessions, and I think a few of you also have personal ministry sessions.
Um, I'm opening it up for, uh, I think transformation sessions
first for y'all to schedule them.
So I will let y'all know when the Facebook messenger chat, when, um, I
get that link posted for y'all to go into the calendar and pick a convenient time.
So anyway, those are my updates.
So now I will officially let y'all go.
I hope y'all have a good night.
Bye.