Hi.
Hello ladies.
Guys for being late.
Oh no, we were just wondering if we were in the right group. No, y'all are. So,
let me see here. I say that either that or we're all in the wrong one.
I say that it works good. I'm trying to make sure that my end.
I think it's the right group.
There we go. It's not connected. That's what the issue is.
So, um, I'm very excited. My husband was so sweet late last night. We haven't been able to get internet in our apartment.
Well, you have a place to stay.
So, so you know in our new place. And so late last night he's researching and then like an hour before the place was going to close he found a place that supposedly was going to be might give us a really good option.
And so an hour before I closed he went worked out a deal gotten absolutely amazing deal and got us up and running.
All on the new internet and that's what I told him it's like, you know what it is he's like okay so what is it that you're looking for I'm like, above all, I have to be able to have to bid zoom calls you know good streaming it's got to be that strong.
Anyway, and I don't know what the issue is with my phone I was trying to get my phone to hook up to maybe hopefully though I can get my AirPods connected.
So, I don't want them to connect. I love your hair I've never seen it down before. Oh, like in real life.
That's a story. So, if I went to your hairdressers again.
I forgot my hairdresser. You went to the hairdressers didn't you say that last. Yes, I did.
Yeah, I did it on Friday. Yeah, looks nice.
And that's weird. Thank you. It's, it's saying it's connected but it's not coming through the headphones.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, so I got sorry for all of the, all of the delay, I.
So I got it done Friday because of course we've moved back to Dallas, and that is where my original hairdresser was, and y'all know you don't mess with a woman in her hairdresser.
My husband learned this and we were just friends and he just met me and we were, we were there were like several of us all traveling together with a friend of ours who's ministry.
And I told I told Ed.
We were in Colorado. And I told him I said well I need to hurry and get back to Dallas, and he's like, why, what, what's the hurry. It's like, well I have a hair appointment.
You're going to drive 14 hours straight to a hair appointment, it's like, absolutely.
And so, we were dating.
Never once questioned the effort or expense.
Good theory and vital.
One of the most important things it's like you know I don't get my nails done anymore very sadly so don't look at them too closely but that this is not one of my priorities, I love pretty nails but I don't like all of the maintenance of having to like
go to a place and sit there for however long, because you have to do it so often. Yes, it's different for hair I can actually get my hair cut and colored every three months.
Okay, that's that's better than most women have it I think I think most women, at least as far as I've been aware, they have to do it at least twice as often as that.
So I said hey, you know what, you've got a good one.
Yeah, this is not so bad. That's right. You've got a good dude.
I know so the poor guy, he, you know, we get married and he's already like mentally budgeted how much.
Okay, hair, you know, every month.
Like, emotionally, he had to like be prepared. Okay, this isn't a question. I'm coming into this with eyes wide open.
This is what if for funny things.
So, but anyway, so anyway point is, I'm making fun of myself but the point is that.
And that's why I've been wearing it up is because when I was getting it done in, I was getting it done in South Carolina, I was trying to explain to the guy my hairdresser sent him all of the formula that he used.
Hey, you know, I use these three colors, but the guy kind of did it a bit different. And, and it didn't.
Anyway, the thing is that not only was the color not what I wanted, but more importantly the color I could have lived with, you know, it was, it was what y'all been saying it was darker than this didn't have as many highlights, which was perfectly fine.
But the issue was that because it didn't have as many highlights, it wasn't as as textured, so it wouldn't hold a style.
It was just flat, and it would fall because it was slick. So, if I couldn't style it, I would just throw it up.
So yeah, before then, I like, I don't know the majority of the time, I always wear my hair down so that's why you see me and all of the pictures know whatever that I post with my hair down because that's normal.
My hair up so often and basically every day. That's not normal for me so I was telling people in the fireside chat a few days ago I said, I feel like me.
Anyway, I feel like I get it. Yeah. Anyway, I digress.
One thing about your the sound, when you put on the plugs, it's worse.
Oh, really. Yeah.
I think it's better before you put them on.
Okay.
Okay, can you hear me, much better. Okay, so it's possible that these are just old.
I said that these are two years old, and maybe and I keep thinking that it's like a computer, and that I've got money going on here, and that it's like a computer and that'll last really long.
And even though these are great, you know these AirPods Pro I got them when they came out because my friend said that that if since I needed new ones he recommended the noise canceling.
Because I immediately got on the airplane, and had all of these little bitty five little kids from Pakistan around me and I was able to sleep through it on the overslept flight so these, these, I love these things.
Yeah.
Anyway, I have the noise canceling ones to they're so good.
Oh, no, that's just a bonus. Oh my word it makes a huge difference.
Point is, I don't realize how old they are and I think that they're that, that I just need to get some nuance Karen mentioned that the other day she said you don't sound really good and I don't remember how, how she phrased it.
I went back and I watched the recording and I thought that is wild kids used to people could hear me better. Yeah, it's actually a lot better without it. Yeah, and so now it's worse.
Yeah.
Okay. So anyway, and how are y'all doing.
Good. Are you home Renata.
Yes, I am.
I hope to see you.
You sound like I recognize your background.
Growing up.
Like my old folks home.
Yeah, I'm home.
And like I shared in the journey share it's. Well, I guess I can start.
It's really good and really challenging to come home. And I think
it's like,
like I have a very close family, but we definitely do also do have issues with each other and there's like somehow, it seems to come up things all the times in my emotions and things that I find hard.
And
so, I don't even know like so. So I just feel like I'm being like really triggered coming home, and just
one of the issues is.
It's like it's got everything. It's like I live with my family so it's like anything from things.
Now, suddenly I don't even know what to say.
What has been.
I feel like I'm.
in and out of rest and coming home it feels like there are some heavy things that are that I'm like
they're like I don't know I'm I'm constantly going out of rest and need to and I don't know
like I don't even know I don't even know how to explain what's going on it's just um is it with
everyone or is it like with your mom or like with your sister or the kids or it's uh it's got for
instance it's um it's uh my mom some challenging feelings that I have towards her that uh I like
she always wants more than I can give her and I never can give enough and that makes me feel
resentment towards her uh because I know that no matter what I give it's never enough and also
with the older she gets she becomes more not like a baby but she is like 80 years now so she's like
old so she's um like she's taking less she's getting more scared of life she's taking less
chances in life she's becoming more negative or more like like all the things that can happen to
old people and it makes me very impatient and very unloving but today I realized like and I realized
that and then with my sister we are very close but we are also very different and she has a very
different parenting style than me so I think live in the same house with her uh when we're not just
her and I or her and my brother-in-law doing fun things together or talking it's like these issues
come up all the time that I kind of and if I find it hard to live in sometimes that we maybe disagree
some how on parenting style but I also can feel that sometimes it's my own issue it's my own
judgment it's not just her it's me it's me being in judgment towards her or my mom or like I resent
my mom because she's getting older or like she wants more of me than I can give and then like
I can judge my sister for her parenting style but if I ask her what she's actually doing she has
reasons why she's doing what she's doing so um and then it's my nephew that decided a year ago that
he didn't want to follow Jesus like I mentioned that before which is kind of like makes him in a
bit of rebellion sometimes towards us because we're Christians and also against God so that comes up
every now and then and I think also my relationship with my nephews and niece are changing because
some of them becoming teenagers and they don't need me the same way and they used to love me
and follow me and want to be and dote on me all the time and now like I'm like please be with me
so it's like a little bit of a things are changing and I feel rejected by them and so but but a lot
of these things that come up are my stuff it's not necessarily them but it's like the last few
times I've been home and I think it escalates because I live with them it's not like oh I live
next door or a mile away and I visit them and we have fun it's like when I come home for a week or
two I live with them so it becomes very very intense like my mom lives there and my sister
and my brother-in-law and all the kids so so but I also think it actually something that God is
bringing up for me to allow me to look at it and to want me to go into rest but right now it just
feels like oh gosh there's so many emotions and I don't know what's my stuff and what's their stuff
but I can tell that I do judge them and feel resentment and rejected and there's like always
all these things coming up and it makes me just today I was like I'm exhausted like oh I just
I feel actually that there and Annette there's so many areas in my life that I need rest
and there's always something coming up it's like with a friend says something that throws me off
and I feel like what's wrong with me why do I react so much why do I have so many emotions
and then I'm like so I try to avoid my emotions and that doesn't work so then I'm like no I have
to walk through this and face my emotions but I kind of don't feel comfortable with myself having
so many emotions I'm like why do I react to everything is it because I joined has it always
has it always been there or is it coming up now more because of
the rest intensive, I'm like, I feel like I'm reacting more than
I did before. And I, I'm just like, I see more and more areas
where I need rest. And also, I think like I've told you guys
before, and that you know, and as well is that I have been in
unrest, I've been in like, I have experienced peace and rest
a lot of times before, but a lot of my life has been 20 years of
stress. And now and what I felt God tell me was like, I'm going
to give you back all the devil stole from you those 20 years.
And now I'm realizing more and more each month, how many things
he stole from me. And when he said that I'm going to give you
back what the devil stole from you. I was like, Oh, okay, I
didn't really know that there. Okay, I guess that's a couple of
things. And I'm like, it's 500 things. And I don't know where
to begin. It's like, it's like family, it's weight, it's
relationships, it's work, it's coming into singing again. And
like feeling all kinds of things coming up with a singing things
that I'm not good enough, or not valued enough, or that I don't
give it enough place, or I get too much place. It's like, I
don't know what's going on. I guess I don't. I don't know, I
feel. But at the same time, there are victories, like I do
can tell that in some areas, things happen that are hard. And
I can tell that I'm completely in rest, and I wouldn't be
before. Or with my mom today, I know that things can come up
between us because she can be very clingy. So I'm like, I
before I went into her house, I I was like, I just choose to
believe what God says about her is true. And what God says about
me is true. And I'm just gonna embrace it. And her and just
like, yeah. So I do feel like I am moving through things in
rest, too. So it's not all chaotic and frustration, but
also a lot of the frustration.
So all of this is very normal. And you're talking about you're
like, well, was this all there before? Yeah, it was. But the
difference is that because you've started to make changes,
and you've started to shift. Remember what I talked about the
fact that we shift more than we're consciously aware of, or
that we consciously give ourselves instruction to do. So
you do. So remember where I say that, hey, you don't have to,
you don't have to try to understand everything, your soul
and your body and even your spirit will get the instruction.
And they as long as they know from your intention, that, hey,
this is what you have desired. And this is what you have
chosen. This is what you believe about the Lord, they will begin
to shift without you, without you micromanaging the the
shifting. And so you've changed. And so therefore, that changed
you, you know, that that that asked those aspects of you that
are now aligning in different ways, in other words, coming
into more alignment with the truth of the Father, are now
coming into those old situations. And so it they're
they're not as compatible. In those old situations, the reason
why it was easier before is even though you didn't like it, it
was familiar. And there are particular things, especially
the you know, just speaking about families, their particular
ways in which they've all learned to interact. And that is
why dysfunctional family continues to operate the way that
it does, is because you all learn to adapt to the
dysfunction, the dysfunction becomes the normal, you all
learn, okay, if this is the standard, you all suddenly
adjust to that new standard. But that standard doesn't mean that
it's just because it's a standard just because it's, it's
mutually accepted does not mean that it's healthy. So if you
have changed, and now you're no longer operating like that it
feels even more in an alignment than it did before. So anyway,
point is, it's very normal. Now the thing is that just because
you're not in alignment with the same truths or the same, the
same, the same dysfunctionality, you know, operations that your
family has always operated in doesn't mean that you can't
interact with them, or that interacting with them has to be
so hard. There's things that yes, they're disappointing or
frustrating, because you're like, you know what, I really
wish we could have a relationship like this. Why does
it have to be like this? But that's the thing about
relationships. It's a two way street. So you can only have a
relationship with someone a healthy relationship with
someone where the two of you have chosen to meet. So they're
only willing to give you know this much towards you. Well,
then that's all of you that you have had that that's all of
themselves that they're giving you access to.
You might want this much of them.
You might want to go, you know, all the way back here, but they're just
not willing to let you in that much.
They're not willing to interact with you that much or vice versa.
You have to meet where there's common ground, where there's a common
agreement that yes, this is how much I'm willing to give, and then you just
meet them there and like, okay, well, that's all that I can have of them or
vice versa, they might want more of you.
But you're not willing to give it, you know?
And so that's fine.
So you just have to kind of like adjust to adjust to that.
So my point is that you just, what helps me when it's with family or
friends or whatever, is if I just, if I stop wishing that it were different,
I can talk to the Lord about it.
I can talk to the fact of, Hey Lord, would you please redeem this?
Would you please create greater intimacy?
Would you please, you know, in my relationship with so-and-so or whatever.
But you can do that.
I don't mean give up or whatever.
But if I accept that, oh, this is where so-and-so is even say, for instance, if
it's a parent or if it's a grandparent, or if, in other words, it's somebody
older than you, or say an older sibling, it's somebody older than you.
And you're thinking, wait a minute.
You know, that's very unhealthy.
You should quote unquote, no better.
Why on earth do I feel like the parent in this situation or the grandparent
in this situation, or, you know, whatever it is, why do the roles feel reversed?
And we can start resenting that.
But if we just kind of accept the fact that, well, that's
just how much they know.
That's emotionally where they've grown to.
That's what, you know, we're all on our own generations with the Lord.
They have to have grace with me.
So I just accept the fact that this is where they are.
They struggle in these areas of their life.
And therefore, if I want to continue to be in relationship with them, then I
just need to accept that that's how they are.
So because that's how they are, what do I want to do?
How do I want to respond?
How much of that do I want to affect my life?
Um, and then just make our adjustments accordingly.
And then you can make boundaries for yourself.
You can make boundaries for yourself emotionally.
You can make boundaries for yourself.
You can do like physical things that help that as well.
Like say, for instance, when you go visit, have certain boundaries for
yourself of like, don't spend all day with them, like get out of the house
a little bit by yourself or whatever.
They may not like it.
Your mom may want to go your mom or whatever.
And the answer is just, no, you don't have to say the word now, but
there's other ways of saying, no, there's other ways of not letting it
happen without being out now, you know, whatever, it depends on the
situation as to how confrontational that it can be, how honest that you can
be with them, that you're telling them.
Some people, at least certain people in my life can't hear that.
So I have to be very diplomatic in how I lay my boundaries.
Other people can handle more honest or not honest, but I mean, it's more
forthright, more, more, less, more transparent, um, communication.
And I can tell them, Hey, no, you know, I really appreciate, I really
need some time by myself or I knew whatever some people just can't
hear that, so I'm, I diplomatically phrase it different and there are
others I can, I don't have to be diplomatic and I can, I, you know,
I'm always kind, but I mean, meaning like I always try to be, but I'm just,
you know, let him, you know, be more honest about it.
Uh, not honest.
It's not that I'm being dishonest in the other, what I mean is more
transparent, that's the word I'm looking for more, uh, less, less,
um, less straightforward on the bush.
Thank you.
Very straightforward.
Let's beat around the bush.
Um, so my point is that, remember, uh, that there are ways of, um, being
who it is that you are, which a lot of what we've been talking about the
past couple of weeks is owning oneself.
And, and yet interacting with other people that you're easily triggered by,
because one of the things that triggers us honestly, isn't so much the thing
itself, it's feeling obligated to respond to it.
We really resent what we feel that their actions require of us.
We're like, I really don't want to do that.
I really don't want to be in that kind of situation.
I really don't want to have to confront this.
I really don't want to, whatever.
Why are you putting me in a situation where I have to do this?
So if you kind of accept situations as they are situations, as they are people,
as they are, and just understand, well, that's how they parent, or that's how my
mom is, or that's how, whatever, if you accept it, it's, it's honestly a lot
easier because you realize that that is just who they are.
And so now it frees you.
In other words, you can disc, uh, you don't have to be, um, tied to them in that way anymore.
You can kind of disconnect yourself from, um, how, how to, how to put that it, you can
just kind of, it frees yourself to be yourself and make your own choices.
They, and nobody else can obligate you to anything you get to choose.
Okay.
They made their choice and they're acting like that.
I get to make my choice.
What do I want in my life and how do I want to respond?
And you do it from a, from a, um, um, I was talking to, uh, them about this, um, on what
is today's Tuesday.
I was talking to them about this on the fireside chat on Sunday as well.
You make a, uh, a decision from a place of owning your own self realizing, okay, I'm
not, no one's obligating me to anything just because they act like that doesn't mean that,
you know, doesn't obligate me to a particular type of response.
I can choose very powerfully.
That's the thing that whatever I was looking for, I can very powerfully make my choice
of what do I want to do?
How do I want to live?
How do I want to respond as opposed to thinking that our responses are being forced on us
by someone else's choice, then yeah, we do become resentful.
Um, so I recommend that you go back and watch near the end of the fireside chat that I did
on Monday because I finally got internet, I w I started posting everything.
So I think that all the fireside chats are up.
I'm, I'm trying to get the last two rest groups, um, from last week, uh, but the, all the fireside
chats are up now.
And as I recommend that you go and watch the last part of Sundays, because I talk about
that.
Um, and, uh, because, uh, Tammy was asking a question about, so asking me to more clearly
define what I meant by interacting with other people from a place of owning oneself.
And so I went into greater depth of like, okay, this is what I mean.
And I used examples, you know, like for instance, what we're talking about.
So, um, anyway, is any of that helpful to resonate?
I think you'll understand a bit more also when you go back and watch that last half
of Sundays, um, because I talk about what I mean by owning yourself, but still being
kind.
Okay.
Let me just very quickly say this.
One of the examples that I gave is okay for you can, you can, uh, say Prince, for instance,
someone's trying to manipulate you or someone is, is talking to you in a specific way.
And you're like, I really, before you would have been like, miss, you know, miss people,
please.
And respond in a particular way.
And now you resent it going, you know, I really don't like the fact that they talking
to me like that requires that I have to respond like this.
You know, I really don't want to, you know, that's not really me being honest.
And I feel like I'm forced to, because they just can't handle anything else.
That is a very victim, um, sourced response.
It's feeling it, you're responding out of guilt, shame, victimization, obligation, you
know, manipulation.
So your reason for, in other words, your source or your fuel for responding, isn't a healthy
one.
But what you can do instead is you have to own yourself and remember, okay, I'm not obligated
to anybody.
I'm not obligated to respond any particular way, you know, who am I as a son of God?
You know, am I okay with the Lord?
Are we, are he and I okay?
In other words, does he value me because of what I do, or just simply because of who I
am, no matter what I do.
Oh, he values me no matter what I do, just because of who I am.
And he's perfectly pleased with me right now.
He loves me.
You know, even if I'm in the middle of sinning, he's perfectly pleased with me.
Doesn't mean he approves of the sin, but me and who I am, my identity, he loves me.
So there's no problem.
He and I are just fine.
So there's nothing that I can do in responding to this person.
That's going to make him happier with me the way he is than what he is right now.
That immediately diffuses all the pressure.
And then you also start to, as I refer to it, own yourself, you're like, okay, I'm in
charge of me.
This person doesn't own me.
And God isn't more or less pleased with me based on my response.
He's trying to mature me to respond according to his love, his heart, his will, and his
character, but I'm not earning more of him by particular response or getting less of
him than I already have.
In other words, having him subtracted from me by making a different response, that's
not going to happen.
So immediately, like I said, it diffuses the pressure of the situation.
So that that's what I mean.
You just kind of own yourself.
You're like, oh, I have value.
I'm significant.
I'm important.
No less than so-and-so this person is trying to manipulate me or whatever.
So.
From that powerful position, because you're in Christ and you have the power to execute
your own free will.
What do you decide that the Lord wants to guide us and mature us and always making the
decisions that reflect his character.
But my point is you get to decide whether or not you're going to do that.
Are you going to do that?
Or are you going to make a different choice?
You get to choose, are you going to quote unquote obey God or are you not?
That's a very powerful position, the position to determine what it is that you want to do
and to do it.
God always guides us to do what he's, you know, to operate according to his character,
but you get to choose as to whether or not you do it.
Do I want to obey?
Do I not want to obey or whatever?
So from that powerful position of owning your own choice, how do you want to respond to
this person?
You might respond the exact same way as you did when you were people-pleasing, but this
time you're doing it from a powerful position, knowing you don't have to.
And maybe the reason why you respond in the same way that you used to out of a bad or
a negative source, you know, victimization or whatever, guilt, even that, sorry, I don't
remember how I started that sentence, but basically even though you might respond in
the exact same way, you're now doing it from a, from a more powerful position.
But here, Oh, this is what I'm saying, but the reason why you might actually end up saying
the same thing is because you may, that you always used to, but when you were doing it
from a bad point of view, a bad perspective, negative, a weak perspective is because you
realize that's all they can handle, but you know that you don't have to, that you get
to choose powerfully how you respond.
And so you can make a decision, okay, what can this person handle?
And what, where are the, where is our relationship right now?
Can our relationship handle confrontation or not?
And if it can, what level of confrontation can it handle?
You know, and if, remember that you only, that, that the degree of confrontation that,
and conflict that a relationship can bear is indicative of its intimacy.
So the more conflict and, and, and confrontation that a relationship can handle, the more intimate
and strong it is.
So certain people may not be able to handle it.
And if so, don't give them more of your relationship with you in intimacy, then they can
handle of conflict.
Does that make sense?
Because they can't bear the weight of it.
They can't bear the responsibility of the preciousness of your relationship, of relationship
with you.
And I'm not speaking negatively about other people, because think of that you, you have
certain people in your life that really want to be friends with you.
And you're like, I really don't want to be friends with them, right?
Other people have the same thing with us, or it could just be, they really, really want
a deeper intimacy of relationship with us, but they, they don't know how to do that.
They're not willing to make this sacrifice on their end to get to have you.
So and that's their choice.
I have friends like that, that really want to be friends with me, and I really want to
be friends with them, but they can't handle the responsibility of it.
They just want everything to go their way.
I'm like, okay, so they can't bear the weight of the treasure of the relationship.
So anyway, and then you make decisions based on, uh, in your interactions with someone
else based on that, but you do it now from a powerful place, understanding I get to choose
how I respond.
I'm not being made to so, and let the chips fall where they may.
I understand you may mean, oh my goodness, because I ended up saying this or because
I ended up telling mom, no, I'm, I'm going to spend some time by myself, you know, very
kind and as diplomatic as you make it.
The point is though, you are saying it and I don't know how she's going to handle that.
So the thing is, it's like, oh my word, but what if she does this?
And then I have to bear the consequences and repercussions.
No, it just means that you don't get to have the type of relationship with her that you
want, but that was her choice, not yours.
So you choose what you're willing to offer and she chooses how she's willing to respond.
And then she chooses what she's willing to offer and you choose how, what you're willing,
how you're willing to respond.
So anyway, does any of that help?
Yes, uh, it does.
I think, uh, what hit me the most of what you're saying is that I take a lot of responsibility
and to the.
relationships. Yeah, you take a very, you take all the responsibility of the relationship.
It's just so heavy. And I have a very good relationship with everyone in my family.
So that's why it's like, why do I, there's actually shouldn't be that much reason to
struggle. Have you had a good relationship with everyone because you're controlling it all? And
I don't mean bad control. I don't mean, I don't mean like manipulation. I mean, because you're
the one who's doing all the work to make it always stay good. With some of them. I think I
do. I think with the kids, when they are getting older and things are changing because I don't
want to lose it. I think I am very much on the offering end. Like, and what you wrote to me on
my last journey share, the one that I typed, go home and enjoy yourself. And then just see who's
going to be around you kind of. And that really helped me because that's exactly what I'm not
doing. I'm trying to find out how can I serve these little kids and teenagers so that they
will not reject me and I can still be as close to them as they were when they were little,
you know, and how can I, can I drive you? Can I buy you food? Can I like, okay, you, you're there.
Okay. Let's, is this a good time instead of just like be home and like, I'm here. No one
want to hang out with me. Then I'm just going to hang out by myself or go somewhere else.
Like, and I think I need to learn to do that in my family more enjoy myself. And maybe at this point,
the two youngest one are, are coming to me quite a bit. So maybe I just need to let go
of the two oldest for now. And just like, enjoy the two little ones because they want to be with
me and not, and not try to cater to the oldest ones. So I don't feel rejected. Yeah. Like enjoy
those that it's not about you. It's just about growing up. That's what I was going to say.
They're just growing up as much as it hurts. We just aren't cool to teenagers for a while.
I had this with some of my friends and kids because my nieces and nephews are in high school
yet. But when all of my friends, kids thought I had hung the moon growing up, I mean, for years,
they thought I was just so cool. And then they got into high school and it's like,
they weren't just, it's not like they didn't just have time for me in my world. They were flat out
rude to me. And I'm going, dude, it's like, absolutely not. Anyway. So they both start.
So two of them specifically started doing that. But as soon as the oldest and I do me as soon,
I mean, like literally graduation day, as soon as he graduated, he changed towards me.
And all of a sudden I was great in his world again. And now the second one just started
doing that. He just graduated. And all of a sudden I'm cool again. And they both want to hang around
me. And I don't know if it's because like they see the world differently because they're adults.
I don't know. But my point is that when we're in high school, there are certain things that we just,
we're just, we're trying to figure out who we are. We don't feel comfortable around other people,
even other people like family, like aunts and uncles that we're supposed to feel safe with.
We just don't feel comfortable with ourselves, let alone with ourselves with someone else.
And so it's, it's a, so anyway, point is I don't think it has anything to do with you. I think
it's them and their struggle and their awkwardness that we all went through are just like trying to
figure themselves out and figure out life and finding certain things cool and certain things
not. And then they just feel awkward or they feel insecure. And then a lot of times in people's
insecurity, they're flat out mean to other people. And I think that's what I do. I take
responsibility for my mom's feelings and for my nephew's feelings and my sister and brother-in-law
and reacting to things. And instead of kind of just let, just accept my mom and like
accept them the way they are and where they at. I managed to do it at times.
So it's not like I feel, but yeah, to a greater measure, let go and not feel
the responsibility. That's not mine. I think. Yeah. So think of it part of, so exchange it
for something. Cause we're all, we're all like, okay, yeah, that's what we should do. But I
didn't know about you, but for me sometimes that feels like lack. It feels like, yeah,
but I, I want these people. They're special to me and now I'm not going to have, but what helped,
what has helped me?
Is if I, and, and I have talked a lot about this is if I choose myself instead,
in other words, like you were talking about, enjoy yourself, have fun.
Like, what do you want to do?
Because if you're like me, you can, you're, which I'm sure that you are
because you you're very independent.
So you can entertain yourself.
You've got all kinds of things you're interested in and all kinds of
things you can always be busy doing.
And so enjoy you enjoy your life.
So it's almost like you want someone to meaning like, we're all like this.
We want someone to enjoy.
We want someone to love on.
We want someone to be there that accepts us fully and unconditionally as we are.
Be that for yourself, choose you, enjoy you.
If someone else comes along and they want, they, you know, they want to
offer something of themselves or they want or need you, Hey, that's great.
And that's bonus, you know, that's bonus and that's icing on the cake.
But, but choose and enjoy yourself.
And that's what you can replace it with, with it in case you ever find
yourself in a situation, like say, for instance, you're trying to connect
with the kids and they're not, and I'm just using that example and there
there's no connection that can feel like an emptiness can feel like, oh, I
wanted to spend time with them.
I wanted to whatever, and you can replace that with, you know, with a, with yourself.
Okay.
Well, what do I want to do?
What sounds fun?
Um, it felt, I noticed that there was less burden for me when I did that, as
opposed to always adjusting myself to always, to make sure that I was always
available, if someone should need or want something or want to spend time with me.
I just assumed that everyone was busy and I just, and I just created my own.
Um, uh, I just kind of did my own thing.
What do I want me to do?
When do I want to do it or whatever?
So as opposed to making myself available, also people treat you better and respect
you more if they subconsciously sense that you don't need them and that you're
not always emotionally or physically making yourself available to their timing.
Then they will begin to adjust.
If they want to be around you, they will begin to adjust their schedule and
their emotional availability to be able to connect with you.
So anyway, so just to give you, um, give you encouragement that,
that you're, you're worth it Renata.
And I know that they would want that all of those people love
and want to spend time with you.
And, um, so, so I believe that you're one of those people that
didn't have to worry about.
Yeah.
But what's going to happen on the other side, it might take a minute for everyone
to kind of adjust because they're not used to it, but they'll eventually get used to,
Oh, well, I like Renata or I like, you know, my sister Renata or whatever.
So what do I need to do to be around?
Or what do I need to do to give to her?
What do I need to do to connect?
And, um, and in the meantime, you give that to yourself, you be to yourself,
what you want, have always wanted someone to be for you and to you.
I hope that's helpful.
Sure.
And thanks for sharing all of that with us on this and on the journey.
So how are you in that?
Um, yeah, I, I'm, I feel like I'm kind of like where I was before.
I feel like I'm, I'm good.
I'm super tired.
I've been, uh, out watching the Northern lights the past two days.
Um, but yeah, it's, um, I'm in this weird spot, uh, where I feel like I've been for
a while.
So, um, like I said, I feel super at rest.
I think, um, I've been able to like, uh, like the past year, like the few, the
past few years or something, I feel like I've gotten a hold of rest in many areas,
especially like kind of when it came to my dad and stuff like that, cause I had
to, cause I went from being codependent to trying to serve, to like doing all of
these things.
So I had a level of rest and, um, you know, when you feel like you're on esteem
or something, so, so where I am right now, I'm still in this job and I'm trying to
have, like, so at some level I have rest, even though things are being thrown my
way left and right, like left, right.
And center.
And it's like, I don't even have a job description.
So I don't even know what I'm supposed to do.
You know, like it's super chaotic.
I was even talking to, so honestly, I wanted to quit like after the first week
I'm like, what am I even doing here?
Like, this is insane.
Um, I know God brought me here, so that's why I'm, I'm at peace, you know?
Cause I'm just like, well.
I brought me here, I have zero clue why,
but I'm here for something,
probably to set up the structure
and like help with something.
But so in those sense, I'm at rest and I'm like,
okay, Jesus help, I have no idea how to do this task.
And then he does.
And they're like super, you know,
like he pulls up and he helps me out.
And one of them was writing an article
and finding all these pictures and it all worked out.
And, you know, they loved it.
And I'm like, that's great.
But at the same time, I'm just like,
oh, I see there's another job posting from my former boss.
And I'm like, ooh, should I just contact her
and be like, hey, so I see you have a position now.
I wanna co-work for you.
But that's like in, it's kind of like in city hall.
You know what I mean?
So it's like deep down, I know that's not my calling.
It's just, it would just be more convenient.
You know, it would be like, oh great.
Then I can walk to work.
I can do these things.
And so I think, I think I'm, yeah, I don't know where I am.
I feel, yeah, cause I feel at rest.
Went to the gym today for the first time.
I've been going on my walks.
I've been cleaning out my closet.
I'm not done with all of it,
but I'm like moving in the right direction.
So in a lot of the areas, I feel like that's good.
I mentioned to you guys before the potential court thing
that's coming up with the entrapment.
And like, I feel like I've been able to just like,
let that go in the sense that I don't think about it a lot.
And I was able to talk to my mom and sister about it.
And it just went a lot better than anticipated
because my mom holds a lot of bitterness
towards this woman, obviously.
So I feel like all of those things are good.
I think I've, I'm quite good at thinking,
not my circus, not my monkey.
Like, and what can I do stuff with?
And what can I not?
And I think I, even going for a walk,
with one of my neighbors,
and there's this marital drama with some of them.
And she's like thinking about it constantly.
And I'm just like,
sometimes I just feel like a bad person.
Cause I'm like, honestly, I'm like,
not my circus, not my monkey.
Like I can talk to them, but like, this is not my,
like, I am not losing sleep over this.
I am not like, this is not my life, you know?
And so I feel like in a lot of those senses, I'm doing good.
But at the same time,
I'm still frustrated in the sense of like,
cause I'm in that 100 X kind of group.
Then I, Pedro is doing another challenge now
about like your field of favor.
And it just frustrates me when I listen to it.
Cause I'm like, I've been listening to this for years.
You know, like, who's your who and like your who,
and your what, and your how, you know?
And I'm like, I don't know.
I don't know what I'm called.
I have no idea, you know?
I just like wonder like,
oh, I felt like God told me to do this.
And so I do this and I just,
I feel like I wander aimlessly around.
And that frustrates me where I can't see,
oh, I'm in this job for this,
and I'm learning this for that.
Or, you know, like,
I have a clear goal or vision of who I'm,
like, who's my world?
Like, who am I here to serve, you know?
So that frustrates me.
And I think the main navigation where I'm like,
oh, well, I know, even though I feel at rest,
I know I'm not okay,
is because I keep putting on weight, you know?
So I keep, and then I realize I'm like,
oh, I keep making bad decisions on what I eat.
So I'm like, that is my kind of, has always been,
it's like self-medication.
It's like, you think it's love,
but it's actually harmful.
So even today, I was like, why do I self-sabotage?
Like, what is the deal, you know?
And it's like, why do I wanna,
so part of it, I feel like it's self-sabotage
and hurting myself, but then also I know,
oh, I think it's probably has to do
with all of these things,
like not knowing who I'm supposed to serve
and this chaotic things at work.
And then this potential court case, all of that,
like the thing not being resolved
in the whole like grief thing.
And so even though I feel at rest, it kind of.
out place where I'm like, Oh, but you're not fine, because then you would be acting differently.
You know what I mean? So if it wasn't for that, I'd probably be like, Oh, my gosh, well,
I'm in a good place. And I'll just like, see what happens and throttle along. But yeah,
but I can't pinpoint it. So I think one of the things I was well, one of the things I'm
also doing is I started watching The Chosen, instead of that weird White Lotus program
that everyone is like, Oh, my gosh, I have to watch it. I'm like, I'm like, this makes
me feel like I've been eating junk food for like a week. I'm like, No, I'm not watching
it. It's horrible. My husband and I saw the trailer and we're like, Oh, I don't understand
what was supposed to be. I know. No. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. I'm like, it's like it's
like, dark humor, satire, kind of mocking society. I don't know. It was just really
bad. Okay. Yeah. I'm like, Why am I watching this? I'm like, No. So I started watching
The Chosen. And then I'm like, Hmm, I Yeah, it's going it's going back to what I know.
It's like, Oh, I need to like go into kind of like meditation and worship and just spend
more time with God. But then, even though I know, that's what I'm, you know, to do.
I just, for some reason, don't. So yeah, yeah. So that's where that's what? Yeah, so that's
where I'm at. Well, um, the did you hear you know, in the Facebook group, that there is,
you know, when y'all did the the rest now, you know, before we did the rest program started?
Did you watch all of those? Like, did you even watch the business ones? No. Okay, so
I recommend going in watching, watching the business ones, like for instance, like how
to start a business and rest how to operate a business and rest how to how to make goals
in business and rest. It's because especially the goals one was something that I thought
about when you were talking. And because it talks in there, I talk about, you get a goal
that the whole point of the goal isn't to reach it. The whole goal is to give you a
direction. Because otherwise, you don't know which way to turn it. You're just like, yeah,
like what you said, I'm just wondering about aimlessly, you know, it's like, where on earth
am I going? You pick a goal. And then between you and the Lord, you know, and you're like,
okay, Lord, I think that this might be what you're saying. You know, you can't hear God
definitively say this, you know, whatever. And even if you hear him say this, hold it
lightly and just be like, Okay, I don't fully know, though, what the full picture looks
like. I just know what he told me. And that could take a variety of forms. Yeah, it even
can take a form in which I've never even seen it happen before, you know, so you just hold
it lightly. And then it gives you a direction to start heading towards. Because again, the
whole point isn't about reaching a destination. The whole point is the actual journeying with
the Lord. Yeah, not in the getting there. And that's not just spiritually, it's also
in physical things about like, business or a book, or you know, or whatever it is that
someone's trying to accomplish. It's actually just, it's actually taking the journey with
them that just developing relation and the point of the journey is the development of
relationship with them. It's not to accomplish something. Yeah, it did develop the relationship.
So anyway, just gives you the goal gives you a direction, you start heading off in that
direction. And then what happens is, like, say, for instance, the law of attraction keeps
thinking no, it teaches, hey, you get a goal. And you hold on to that, no matter what you keep,
you know, you know, spouting, you know, and declaring your affirmations, you keep doing
this. And no matter what, don't let yourself be knocked off the track. But what that as
Christians, what we have to realize is the Holy Spirit, we need to be flexible to the Holy Spirit
moving us. So that means we have to be flexible to be moved from the track. So what you do is
you just get a goal, and you start heading that in direction and then allow yourself
to be moved around by the Holy Spirit. And you start doing this, you start doing this,
you start doing this. And when eventually you'll get to someplace you didn't even know to look for,
you didn't even know we were heading that way. You know, but the point of the goal is to just
give you a direction to start because God can't steer a parked car. So, so that the hopefulness
in it, because that's what I'm hearing probably is in a lot of the thing of like, you're like,
well, I keep
eating and I keep doing this and I keep doing that.
So all of this stuff is like indicative to me.
There's still something wrong, but I kept hearing in that is, is
hopelessness of like, hope deferred.
Yeah.
A lot of years of disappointment, you know?
And so it's like, why try?
Wait, there's something in us that is really hard to
squelch the human spirit.
So there is a light in you that is like, no, I'm, I'm going to
endure and I'm hopeful I can keep going, but there's an aspect
that just gets, that just feels like hope deferred.
And it's just like, I am so disappointed.
I'm honestly tired of trying.
And I don't expect there to be a positive result of all of my, my
hopes, my efforts, my direction, my planning, my learning, something
new, my taking on a, on an, what I would have normally thought
to be an exciting challenge.
I expect now that it's all going to, that it, that, that
it's all going to be wasted.
And so therefore why try, why not just eat, drink and be
merry for tomorrow we die.
Why not just be happy now?
Because there's nothing to look forward to later.
And so that those from this belief, my God, it's ultimately
rooted in my God's not good.
It doesn't mean that if you don't get the thing that God is, it really isn't good.
I just mean that we're the, and that only if he's good, will
let you get to that place.
I'm just talking about just in general, this feeling of hopelessness,
dejectedness, disappointment is rooted in us, not believing positive things
about God, because if we did, then we wouldn't be weighed down with such
hopelessness and disappointment.
Because if God doesn't give us this, he's going to give us something better.
We all tell each other that, but we don't actually believe it.
Why?
Because it's, we don't actually believe it about God.
We don't actually believe he really is so good that no matter what he gives us,
it's always going to be better than what it is that we thought that we
wanted, that we're asking him for.
So anyway, so that's what all of this, you know, I was just hearing.
Point is that if you have a goal, but the Lord that you start working
towards, and by that, your goal doesn't even, it didn't even have to be defined
yet, it could, your goal could be like, I don't know, just starting to like
discover and, and, and, and like learn something new, um, in an area that you
think you might be interested in.
And your hope is, well, eventually I, I, I am going to find the
thing that I'm interested in.
So right now, so in other words, there's everything to look forward
to, I actually will accomplish it.
So right now I'm just doing step one of where I will, uh, step one in this
journey of eventually figuring it out or eventually discovering it or whatever,
as opposed to thinking, oh, well, why try?
I, I won't eventually find it.
I won't eventually figure it out or whatever.
So again, getting a goal will help give you a, will help give you a hope and
something to work towards because it's positive because you will
get to start working towards it.
It doesn't mean you'll get there.
It does mean you will make progress.
You will move forward as opposed to staying stagnant.
So, but what you don't want to do is you don't want to decide.
This is the only way it should happen.
And this is the only way Lord that I'm going to be happy.
I'm holding you accountable to it, executing exactly like this.
That's what we don't want to do.
We don't want to be rigid with it because then we can't be
flexible to the Holy spirit.
But there's nothing wrong with having a goal with between you and the Lord
and then heading out in that direction.
And then you're just, again, the whole point is journeying with them.
So while you're, while you're taking these steps, while you're learning,
while you're researching, while you're practicing new things, while you're,
while you're daydreaming and planning, that's what I did with my business is I
just started looking at what are all kinds of things that other people are doing?
You know?
I mean, and, uh, and then I would think about, okay, when am I happiest?
Well, I'm happiest when I work on Excel spreadsheets, because
that's what it was for a while.
I love that.
I absolutely love that.
Okay.
Well, do I want to make a business out of that?
What are the things that I could do?
Well, what do other people do, you know, with the spreadsheets and how do
they make their businesses out of it?
And you could tell that that's just part of my journey because
did I end up doing that?
No, but it was, it was part of it.
I'm like, bless you for loving Excel.
Love it.
It's not even funny how much I love it.
It's ridiculous, but what it did is it got my, my creative juices flowing to the
point where eventually.
I could see other aspects of myself and other things that I liked to not just
Excel, because that was just one of the rabbit trails that I went on, but I
would sit there and I would plan.
And I would, so here's the thing.
A lot of times also, we feel like we don't have enough.
It kind of like comes full circle to what Renata, we were
talking about with Renata.
Um, is that, uh, we can feel like we don't own our own lives.
And yes, God owns our lives.
We are submitted to him and all of that.
But what I mean is we feel that we don't, that our opinion doesn't weigh enough
that, uh, that we're not going to get to do what we want anyway.
And it's just whatever God wants.
We're not considered enough in the equation and that the desires of our
heart are just kind of like, Oh, would that be nice?
And they're not to be taken seriously.
Well, that's very dejecting.
That's very disheartening.
And, um, and it's very self-sabotaging.
So if we planning became so much more fun to me, when I realized that it
mattered, when I realized that it was part of my contribution of God and I
together, eventually moving me, moving the two of us to actually start in
what we were going to eventually do, you know, in life business or whatever.
So if I felt like what I wanted really in, in me planning and creatively
discovering and thinking and dreaming really wasn't going to go anywhere, it
really wasn't going to be valued in the discussion with the Lord, then why do it?
Why not just say so that would, that really just relegated me to just, well,
I'm just waiting.
I'm just waiting on God.
Just tell me it's very disheartening.
So anyway, does, does any of that resonate and help?
Oh, yeah, for sure.
Yeah.
Cause I think that's, I think I had a clear goal before and then, you know,
hope deferred and then, um, I think I'm at where I've kind of lost the dream.
Like, like I don't have the direction.
So part of me is just like, well, God, just tell me, cause you know, and I'm
happiest, so I'm like, just tell me.
But I think this is actually it that it's because I know he told me leave
and he put me where I am and I feel like it's a temporary thing about it.
But I think my fear is, oh my goodness, if I don't, so it's double-sided.
One side of me just wants to be like, just let it go.
Like he told you he's going to do it.
Like, it's fine.
Just relax and just do the best job you can now.
But I think on the other side, I'm terrified that, oh, well, if I don't do
anything, then next year is going to look exactly the same.
Cause I didn't leave me here.
I'm going to be punished for doing good.
Yeah.
And then, and then I feel like that's kind of like with the weight as well.
It's like, oh, well, I want to believe that, you know, like I
can be completely free in this.
And then on the other side, it's like, well, if I don't put work
into it, then I'm just going to keep gaining weight, you know what I mean?
So, um, yeah, so, so it's that kind of like figuring out what do you do?
Like, but I definitely think it has to do with me exploring and God wanting
me to kind of find maybe a new dream or yeah, all, all I know is obviously
I'd love to work with people and be able to work from wherever and for it to
have a positive impact in some ways, you know, like that it's not just about
me being able to traveling around and doing whatever, you know what I mean?
Like it has to, yeah, it doesn't have to, it would be nice if it was like
helpful or joy, like bringing joy or life or freedom or something to people, you
know, um, but yeah, so, so it's really, but I do think it's, it's about that.
Like hope deferred and, um, yeah.
So part of it, what I was kind of sensing is take and coming full circle
again to the beginning of our conversation, you know, with like what
we were talking about with Fernanda is.
You have permission to, to seek your own happiness.
I mean, apart from God, we're not talking about, we're not talking
about going off doing our own thing, but, but to own your own happiness,
unresponsibility for your happiness.
So in other words, you get to, you get to pursue it.
What makes you happy and go try to find it.
Now you're doing it though with the Lord.
And so you're doing it.
And, and that's why I talked so much about the importance of those foundations of
choosing that you are loved by God unconditionally accepted by God
unconditionally, that.
you are, um, and that you're unified with the Lord, because that grounds you in, again,
in union with him, as opposed to operating, um, uh, uh, what do you call it? Um, operating
so separately, you know, operating like, Oh, I'm just trying to find what I want to do
all by myself. And, um, so anyway, uh, and that will help as well. If you realize that
again, what you want and what you discover about yourself is actually an important contribution
to the discussion about what does God want you to do? Because it's really what do, what
do you and God want to do together? That is really the question that's being answered.
Understand again, like I've talked about before, the older that we get in the Lord, in other
words, the more mature, the more that we look and act like him, the greater weight that
our opinion matters in the discussion. And the less that we look like him, the lower
our opinion matters, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't matter because God is trying to
educate us and mature us as to how to form our opinion, form our hearts, desires, you
know? So it's not like, Hey, I'm teaching you how to disregard them. He's teaching us
how to mature them. So how do you do that? He gives us practice. So he intended you to
seek your own happiness. He intended you to discover what is it about me that makes me
feel most alive? How did God make me? Yeah. What do I like most about me? And how can
I express that? So in any way, if you feel more like you have control and ownership of
the process of what you discover, and then it's more exciting to go on the effort of,
of make, of trying to discover it as opposed to thinking that there's no point in the effort
because it's all what God is just going to tell me anyway. But part of God telling you
your, your discovery process is part of the journey of God telling you that's part of
how he will tell you is give him, give the spirit something to respond to. In other words,
you know, give, okay, well, Lord, what about this? Okay. So that's really not me. Okay.
Well, you know, well, what about this one, Lord, you know, give this, bring something
to the discussion, you know, God, because God's like, I like engagement. I love action.
So don't just sit and, and just wait for me to, to, to do everything. Yes, he does create
all of the outcomes. Yes, he does. He is responsible for all of the, you know, all the energy and
all of the source, but there's still, but we get the, we get the fun and lack of responsibility
of just contributing of just, of just, okay, what about this one? Okay. What about this?
It's all of the fun without the weight and the burden of responsibility, the outcome.
So because he is going to guide us in what our contribution and how, and how our contribution
reflects or doesn't reflect his character in us or whatever. So it is, it's a very integral
part that, you know, so often we is missing in our conversations with the Lord is what's
our contribution to the conversation. And the contribution isn't, Oh, what are all of the bad
things that we need to get rid of? You know, and how, how are we all disobedient? We need to learn
how to be obedient. It's the fun things. Cause like, I'm doing all the hard work so that y'all
can have all the fun of dreaming and of whatever, but rely on me for the outcome.
So don't try to go do it yourself, but you know, dream and submit things to me and let's talk about
it. It's that we just have to risk and choose that he really is safe with all those streams,
that he doesn't condemn us for those streams that he doesn't judge us for them. Just cause God says,
no, we're not really going to do that. Doesn't mean that we're bad for having dreamed it or bad.
Wanted it cause just like, yeah, but that didn't reflect me, you know? Cause remember before the
tree of the knowledge of good and before Eve ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,
she just operated from the Lord's character through what in that sense, there is no good
and evil. There's just God's character. And so that's all, you know, is God's character.
That's all you're going to do. You're never going to be outside of his character, which
is quote unquote evil. You know, you're never going to be that if that's all, you know,
and that was Eve. She was perfect. And Adam was perfect before they said why? Because they knew
nothing but how to operate according to God's character. So anyway, so anyway.
that helpful. Yeah, yeah, it's definitely very helpful. It's, I
feel like that's where we're at, where I'm like, what am I
supposed to do? And he's like, well, tell me like, what do you
want? Like dream like do it. And then I'm just like sitting
there being frustrated, but he's actually inviting me to go
explore. I was reminded of like, what's it called? Runaway bride.
I don't know if you've seen it with Julia Roberts, when she
like likes whatever eggs with whatever guy she's with. And
Richard Gere's like, you don't even know what eggs you like,
and she has to go figure out. So like, oh, yeah, I need to go
figure out what kind of eggs I like. I do know. But you know,
yeah, all the kind of eggs I like. But I figure out what I
like doing and what I was. Yeah.
Well, good. Super helpful. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome.
So just enjoy it. And know that it's not a burden. It's not your
responsibility to figure it out. It's all the fun of the
exploration, as opposed to finding the exploration
burdensome, because we think that we're responsible for the
outcome. Yeah, it's just, it's just all of the fun of being on
the discovery process. Yeah, it's all the fun without the
burden and the weight and the responsibility. Yeah.
Okay.
You're welcome. So I recommend going back and watching some of
those, you might find them helpful. Because you might hear
some things in there that maybe because it's been two, almost
three years since I made this video. But I'm assuming that in
there, well, in fact, I know that there is there's a lot of
things, you know, that was about my big, how I, you know, took my
journey. Yeah, there might be things that specifically might
help you in your situation. You know, amazing. All right.
You're welcome. Okay. Oh, and one more thing, huh?
No, I just like good to see you. Yeah.
Good to see y'all too. And one more thing there is or two more
things. One, there is something I added in the supportive
teachings, you know, the rest, retreat and supportive
teachings tab, I added one called the ultimate choice,
Tammy was asking me some questions about it. And so I
added, I said, Oh, well, I think it would be helpful. But I think
she was, or maybe it was someone else. And then Tammy just
commented on it. I don't remember. But thing is that, and
I added that it's an article, I just an article, a real written
written up thing. And so there's that. And then I will try to get
the last rest groups up. For whatever reason I was having, I
was trying to post them and they were just and they were stopping
midway and just spinning and they wouldn't, they wouldn't
post. So I'm trying to work on that. And then Oh, yeah. And
then of course, y'all have transformation sessions. And I'm
going to do and so I'm going to open the calendar for y'all to
start scheduling those. So I'll mention it in the Facebook chat
group about like where it is that you can go to click and
find what what time is best for y'all. So anyway. Okay, well,
good to see y'all.
Or whatever. All right, you're welcome. Bye.