Okay.
Hello.
Hey, how am I coming through my coming through okay I'm on cell, and you know that you're in the Dallas area there's all that weather so yeah it's kind of good.
Okay, good, good, good, because I haven't tried the cellular service from my apartment yet so I was hoping, especially in this weather that it was okay.
Yeah.
So, sorry I'm a bit late, trying to get all of the technology all all set up wasn't even able to use the Wi Fi that we, but we are going to try some new Wi Fi slash additional.
I think tomorrow I think my device comes in tomorrow so I've got a, the one that we got wasn't was sufficient for download but not upload so that's why I haven't been able to upload all of our, all of the meetings yet is because the, the upload won't
is too slow, it keeps aborting the upload.
So it's like okay so I went to at&t no not at&t went to Verizon and said okay this is my issue I've tried to weather internet companies and they don't work, will you work for me.
I get the I get the new device tomorrow so I'm very hopeful, because the last time that I was here when I started the rest of the rest intensive in April 2020, I was here in this apartment, literally right here in this kitchen, and, and I use Verizon
back then and so I'm hoping it still works so anyway. So, how are you doing Hey Tammy.
Hey.
She put us down on the bed.
So, how are y'all doing, just far side chat tonight for like questions and don't have any questions then we'll just do like y'all will do kind of like what Renata.
And Annette and I do on the Tuesday calls is the rest groups, but really because it's just the two of them, it's kind of like a combination of rest group and fireside chat, where they do, where they just talk and you know share that, you know,
they do a journey share like everybody else doesn't rescue you don't catch everybody up on how you're doing. And then, but I'm part of the part of the discussion and so they'll ask them after they talk about, you know, whatever it is that's on their heart,
there's a question in there somewhere, you know whether or not they voice that they're basically like, I've got a question, it's in there somewhere. So anyway, so if you'd like we can do that tonight if y'all don't have any questions this is, this is probably
the least number of questions, like a group with the least number of questions that I've ever had.
I'm like, they've all got it.
So, so anyway I've been trying to think of them. Okay, well what would be helpful then for them.
So if it's not questions that are particularly that they know that they're coming with.
So, anyway.
So, y'all have any questions or any that what's been coming up this past week.
How has, I'm like trying to prompt all with like ideas and like things that could perhaps trigger memories.
I don't know if things been easy, this week, you've been able to see the Lord in in unique ways has it been challenging you're like well, I tried to engage with the Lord, or I've been wanting to engage with the Lord but haven't, I've been wanting to want to, but
there's something in me that just keeps me like not wanting to spend time with them, or, I don't know, what, what could it be.
I mean, you know what is it has all said, we've been like this day and I usually miss this day. I'm not, I feel like she's not usually here, is she.
Okay, I will she's not, she's not here now.
She, whenever she has missed, she's let me know that it was like some special thing like I was a birthday or it was that it was something that she was invited.
event that she was involved in. So I, I don't know, hopefully
she'll be able to join us. But I hadn't heard. Otherwise, so
hopefully she'll be joining.
Yeah, that's okay. I'm just curious. Um, I guess you kind of
said it the want to want to thing.
Want to want to? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't know why
that popped into my head. But it did. So maybe it was for you.
And so there is a teaching that I actually did on this that I'll
post. And it was, um, well, I say that soon as I can get
upload power, I can download, but I can't, I can download all
of the zoom meetings, but I can't re upload them. But
anyway, um, it and but I'll just tell you about it real quick.
The and then that'll hopefully go into greater detail, because
I've been asked this, you know, multiple times. And it's very
normal, especially for people that are attracted to the rest
intensive. In other words, people that are used to viewing
God in life, and I don't know, their parents, their boss, their
whoever, from this perspective of Oh, my goodness, what did
they expect of me? And so if that is our approach to the
Lord, what is he then going to expect of me? And what is it
about me that is going to be revealed in my time with him?
And that needs to be corrected, that now lets me know how I'm
falling short. And so if someone like that isn't fun to spend
time with, it's you don't look forward to it, you don't feel
safe, it feels like more work, you know, just feels very
oppressive. And you just flat out just dread it, because
you're like, Okay, I've been working all day. I, for instance,
think about it, like if you were to go out to dinner or drinks or
whatever with friends after work, that you'd think that that
was fun, especially if it was particular types of friends,
like say, for instance, you know, Tammy and Kim and Mary,
you know, and y'all go out together, because y'all y'all
are close, y'all are vulnerable with each other, you've known
each other for a very long time through very difficult
situations, I would imagine. And, you know, just based on
based on knowing Kim, and talking with her, and then based
on me knowing y'all, y'all are all just very real people. So I
would just imagine that y'all have that type of relationship
with each other. So the point is that if you're going to go out
with them afterward, well, that sounds like fun, you know, but
we don't think that about God, because we know that our friends
will love and accept us where it is that we are. Why? Because
it's been proven. We've, we've put our, we've been with our
friends in very difficult situations. And, you know,
meaning like we were going through a difficult situation,
we were we were tired, or we were hurting or whatever. And
they loved and accepted us. But with God, we're always, we don't
approach it from that perspective. We don't expect
those answers. I mean, like really nice, kind answers, and
therefore we don't hear them. If we don't expect them from God,
we can't recognize them when he talks to us like that. So what I
always suggest to people, and this is what I've done, is I
just stop it. I were again, stop expecting me to have there to be
any obligation from me towards the Lord. And because basically,
it's like, it's like I've explained about like the whole
thing of like, telling God, you know, I was sorry, or whatever.
I couldn't work really hard to obey God, and do all the things
I thought I was supposed to do meaning like, emotionally invest
myself and focus on there's all these things that he wants me to
do. I couldn't do that. And believe him and have faith in
him in these extra ways that he was asking me to. So it was
finding that I could either obey him or have faith in him. And I
couldn't do both. So I would ask God, okay, God, can you please
let me let this thing down? Because I don't know how to obey
you out of rest. And out of the fact that you love me, I keep
doing the obedience out of obligation, which is not belief
in you. So therefore, I can't obey you while believing you,
because you say that there is no obligation. So in other words,
that's what I'm trying to say, is if I couldn't do both, I
would give up this one in order to do this one in order to have
faith in order to believe, what did God say, and then just choose
that and then figure out, okay, how do I step out and act on the
fact that that is true?
So that's, so it's with that in mind that I would do this, where I would just say, I
would just think, okay, if God, if God really does love me, that I'm not going to worry
right now about all of these things that I think that he expects of me, that he wants
me to do.
I'm not going to worry about that right now.
And I would talk to the Lord about that, you know, and I wouldn't like have a long conversation,
but I would just kind of like tell him, you know, the posture of my heart, Lord, I'm trying
to connect with you.
I'm trying to obey you.
I'm trying to believe you.
So would you just take care of this other part of me that is, that knows it should obey
you and all of that stuff, but I only know how to obey you out of obligation and it makes
me afraid of you.
It makes me not want to spend time with you.
So I'm just going to put that off to the side for a second in efforts to actually try to
believe you believe that I really am good enough, just as I am without having to keep
all of these other balls in the air.
So can you watch them for me and help me in these areas so that while I am not conscious
of trying to keep these balls in the air, will you support and sustain this part of
my life?
Because right now I'm just, I'm choosing to focus on, since I can't focus on both, I'm
going to drop one, put that in your hands.
And then I ask that I'm pleasing to you in this area that you help me be obedient, even
though I'm unconscious of it, while I am consciously focusing on choosing to believe
that, believe what it is that you say, and then I, and then you have to act on it.
Because again, if we, if we say that we believe something, but we either, we don't pull it
up with action, then we actually don't believe that we're actually not really choosing it.
So I would, what I did is I was like, okay, there's no obligation.
And then let's just, uh, then, then apparently God is a, God says that I naturally desire
him and that he created me to naturally want him and created himself that he is actually
good.
Meaning like he's pleasant, he's fun, he's enjoyable.
He's gentle.
He's all of these wonderful, beautiful things that God talks about where he says that we
would want to spend eternity with him.
So if that's true, I'm going to believe it, I'm going to choose that it's reality.
And then what, how would I act if that really is reality, I spend time with them.
So I'm like, okay, then I'll, and then I think of different things that I can do.
One of the things like for the, for instance, that I talked to people about, if they're
having trouble reading the Bible, because that's a lot of times what they think about
and they're like, well, I don't really want to spend time with God is they're talking
about, I don't want to read the Bible.
And I just tell them, you know, and you've probably heard me say this more than once.
I recommend to people just read it like it's a fiction book.
And I don't mean fiction is, and it's not real.
I mean, read it as effortlessly and as fun and as nonchalantly as you would a fiction
book.
Like there's no obligation.
There's nothing for you to learn, meaning like there is, but what I'm saying is don't
approach it from this perspective of, okay, God, I've got to study this.
Okay.
What does this word mean?
Okay.
Don't lock it up in strongs.
Just, just for right now, don't go look it up in a concordance, just read, just, just
enjoy it.
And you will read it really fast.
In fact, it would be really fun.
You know, if someone decided to give themselves the challenge of seeing how fast that they
could read through the Bible, because they weren't obligated to, they weren't obligated
to or have any pressure to catch any revelation and catch God talking to them, you know, make
sure to not miss anything and study and, and, you know, make sure they understood everything,
you know, you just, you just read it, you just read it just like, Oh, I'm not interesting.
And just breeze through it that the Bible is very, very weighty and very, very needy.
And there's a variety of, there's so many different things that we can get out of it.
So get some fun out of it.
You know, we can study the Bible, you know, our entire lives and never get to the end
of its depth and all of its meaning and everything that's jam-packed in there.
So I would do something like that.
I'll also spend time with the Lord and know that he enjoys, he enjoys sitting with you
and enjoys watching things like, like, like Netflix, he enjoys watching that.
How do I know that?
Because he watches us live life.
He watched those people make those movies, you know, he, he was there, he put the ideas
in their head, probably, you know, what to do and, and helped him through all of the
acting scenes when, you know, when some of them, you know, well, whether or not they
asked him to, you know, you know, helped him with their lines and helped him finally figure
out how to present his specific emotion.
I mean, he was, he's the one who created the ability to have the television.
He's the one who created the internet to work the way that it does, but only creates good
things.
So believe that he is fun and enjoys things, as opposed to, you know,
enjoys doing the things that we enjoy doing.
And spend time with him expecting that he's having fun.
And that he's having fun doing it with you.
And connect with him that way.
Like very purposefully and intentionally connect with him while you are doing it.
You don't have to ask for some great spiritual revelation while you're
watching a movie. It's just, just, you know,
you and God are sitting on the, on the couch eating popcorn.
You know,
think of it kind of like that that you were being enjoyed and he
appreciates the fact that you're enjoying what you're watching.
He's enjoying the fact that you're enjoying.
His the fact that he created the ability to sit on the couch.
And watch television and do what we call that.
He created that ability. And I, quite honestly, I think that he's,
you know, very happy when we do it.
Now there's other things that we,
he wants us to do in life as well that he knows that we'll enjoy.
And so he doesn't want us to only do that, but it doesn't make,
just because it's not, shouldn't be an only doesn't mean that it's a bad
thing.
And so I think that we need to make, we need to allow God to be more fun.
Allow him to be more enjoyable.
That if we enjoy those things to, to realize that there is a reason.
That God has put, put our, the ability within us to be.
To, to, to, I don't know, to just have fun.
To be light.
To joke.
You know, whatever.
And, and so that's what I would recommend.
Is to make God not.
You know,
let him be bigger to you than what he's been in your life so far.
Meaning like, I'm going to be, let him be fun and let him, whatever.
Because your whole point here is to develop the intimacy.
Your whole point is to get to know him.
So if you.
If you remove the pressure.
Of the seriousness.
And that you're going to be getting a revelation.
Or you have to be, you have to be aware.
Or your eyes have to be open.
You have to be ready.
And you have to be listening and whatever.
Then it's just feels like work.
So it's not that we don't want to do the other thing,
but I would submit to you.
That we're doing it from the place of sweat and striving.
And that what he wants us to do is he wants us to listen.
He wants us to be vigilant.
He wants our ears to be open and our eyes to be open and to watch for
him.
He wants us to be vigilant.
He wants us to be ready.
He wants us to be open.
But not from sweat and exertion.
And effort.
So,
because remember that everything with the Lord is not is about the
source. Where is it coming from? So if it's coming from sweat,
he doesn't want it anyway.
So you might as well just stop.
Stop trying.
You know, so hard, you know, and so try to approach.
And you know,
you can do it from the place of sweat and exertion and not from sweat
and exertion.
And you know, you can do it from rest.
No obligation.
God is fun.
Allow him to reveal himself through experiencing him.
Actually having fun with you.
And in connecting with him in that way.
Then,
because you're going to more easily connect with him because there is no
pressure.
So it's going to be easier to find him because there's let no pressure
on you.
And then you're going to be able to connect with him.
And then you're going to be able to connect with God.
And so I'm trying to explain to you.
What kind of.
Situation you can put yourself in to remove the pressure,
which is going to remove the resistance,
which means you can finally receive.
Then you can finally connect with God and you're going, well,
why haven't I been able to connect with God? There's too much pressure.
Too much.
And that is natural is a notch is naturally building up resistance.
Then you'll be able to connect with God.
And you'll be able to connect with the Lord.
And so there's this chain reaction of no pressure means no resistance.
It's finally be able to receive them.
And then you'll finally be able to connect with the Lord.
And then now that you're finally able to connect with the Lord.
Then you can, it's,
then you can now approach obedience.
You'll be able to connect with the Lord.
You'll be able to connect with God.
You'll be able to connect with God is bigger than you thought that he was.
There's no obligation.
that obligation, stress, strife, you know, whatever.
So, but the way to do that is what you're wanting to do,
which is connecting the being of God himself.
So we're trying to figure out
how you can remove the pressure for yourself
so you can finally reduce the resistance
and finally receive.
So just enjoy him without expecting something from him,
meaning like an answer.
Oh God, I really want to know the answer
about what should I do about this financial situation
or what should I do about this job
or what should I do about this?
No answers, no obligations, no whatever,
just connect with this being,
allow his being to be the thing
that you're wanting and pursuing right now.
And there was something else I was gonna say,
but anyway, so that's what I would recommend.
Is that helpful or do you have any questions
or any expanded thoughts on it?
No, that's really helpful, yes.
Does it sound doable?
Yes, yes, I mean,
cause that's what I said to him this morning.
I was like, I'm trying to have a relationship with you,
you know, do you have any work?
I'm like, I just, yeah, there's no other,
yeah, I was trying, I mean, I did say that today to him.
So yeah, yeah.
So think what you do with your friends, like Tammy,
y'all don't sit and also the serious and expect,
you know, it's, y'all laugh and you joke and you're silly.
And there's some things that you say to each other
that are, you know, that aren't even true,
kind of like sarcasm or whatever.
I mean, it's just, you're just having fun and you're playing
and you're making fun of life
and you're making fun of, you know,
idiosyncrasies in other people or in yourselves
or in each other, or you just, it's,
so try to connect with the Lord maybe in that way.
And I always try to encourage people
that I'm talking about, like,
in what it is you're already doing, like your normal life.
I'm not talking about like setting aside special time
and whatever, again, that's, that equates to pressure.
And if you can't believe God and connect with them
and have faith without pressure,
while doing a set time, then drop the set time
because you're doing whatever you have to do,
again, reckless abandon to try to grab ahold of this.
If you can't do both at the same time,
if there's too many things entangled, too much sweat,
too much misunderstanding, too much fear entangled with this,
abandon it altogether.
Just use this because this, you'll get back to,
but now you'll get back to it from a healthier perspective
that's more sustainable
because it's not always maintained by fear anymore.
It's maintained by love,
it's maintained by connection with a real being.
So, but yeah.
That's good.
I would just say, yeah, to just try to connect with them
in what it is you're already doing.
And really that's the underlying,
one of the underlying factors
about what I've been talking to everybody
about the past few weeks,
about enjoying oneself and choosing oneself
and like picking like,
what are the things that bring you life
and bring you excitement?
And like you had mentioned, dancing and stuff like that.
To do that and to just bring God with you
when you're doing it
and know that he's not that bringing them with you
like a parent or something like that,
but just you and God are doing it together.
God's not watching you dance.
It's the two of you dancing and just having fun,
and just expressing y'all together,
not just you, the two of you together.
And that's what the dancing is,
it's an expression of that,
expression of who the two of you uniquely are.
So that's what I mean when you bring God with you
or like when you're doing Netflix
or watching Netflix or you're cooking or you're whatever,
it's understand that it's the two of you living life
and doing it together,
not you're doing it and God's around
and you're just look over at him every now and then
to just make sure that you still have his approval
and how you're handling it.
Anyway, that'll help, I think.
So, anyway.
Yeah, that's good, thank you.
You're welcome.
So, anything else that you thought of that's come up or?
Hmm, should we?
You want?
You're on mute. There it goes.
Does Tammy want to turn?
Do you have a turn, Tammy?
Sure.
I think I was, I don't know if I have a question per se, but it'll be helpful just to share because like, I think I was in that same situation with Rita today just like kind of not wanting to, but I don't know.
I don't know. I didn't feel condemnation, but I was like, you love me, whether I do or not, it'll be okay. There's always tomorrow.
But I was still like, I think I had an experience yesterday that kind of triggered me.
But I didn't really realize it until later on today.
Yeah, so anyway, it's just weird. It just made me want to start, like, striving for, like, job type of stuff.
Like, it was, it was like a silly situation, but it was like, we went to my niece's cheer banquet, and she's in high school.
And it was like, so we're just standing there, like, everyone's seated, just feeling like, we don't belong, like, second class citizens.
It was like, yeah, it just felt really stinky.
And there were two other ladies too, that, you know, they weren't with our party, so to speak, but, you know, we were all there.
So it just felt really bad.
So it just kind of made me just like, you know, I'm like, I'm looking cute.
I got my little sequins on.
I got my, like, you know, blazer.
My shoes is fabulous.
Like, you know, I'm like, OK.
But I just felt really like I just felt like a second class citizen.
It just wasn't any fun, you know.
And so it just made me want to, I think, feel like driving like towards like, yeah, I'm going to show people that I'm worthy type of thing, like inside, you know, like, oh, going back to like, oh, well, well, you know what?
I need to get this certain job and have this and make this.
And I'm like, I don't want to be in that place.
I was totally rejecting that all year long.
Well, not all year long, but the last couple weeks.
Yeah, kind of all year long.
Anyway, I think that really kind of put me back in that space.
So I just kind of was vegging today, which I was like, OK, I'll get back with it tomorrow.
But I think I just needed to like, if I would have, if I would have journaled this morning, I probably would have like just shared it with God.
But I think I was unconsciously stuffing because I couldn't go to sleep last night.
I was like up really late and just like feeling icky.
But I didn't really associate it with that necessarily.
So anyway, I don't know.
It's just helpful to say it so I can address it.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, all of that, you know, yeah, makes complete sense.
So it sounds like what you did, which is very different than my my go to.
Because my go to is to usually freeze, you know, fight, flight or freeze.
Mine is usually either freeze or flight.
But yours is apparently to fight.
All right.
I'm going to show you and work harder and drive all that.
So the interesting thing to know is about yourself is that you have the ability.
Like, you knew you could.
You're like, what if what sounds like was hard was that it wasn't being recognized or whatever.
But what part of it, though, is you're saying, you know, I mean, I just said, you know, we know you can't.
But what is part of it is what it is that we're fighting so much really is what makes us fight so much as we question whether or not that really is us, you know, because it makes us feel like a second class citizen.
And so we're like, well, I'm going to prove to myself that I'm not a second class citizen. I'm actually going to execute.
So anyway, it's just so interesting when you when you're kind of walking it kind of like putting us in the in the in the room.
I kind of like picture everything like I'm really sorry. That's just no fun.
Anyway, so that's just kind of what I was what I was.
But I was just sensing was like, oh, man, when I'm in that situation, I usually respond to opposite.
I usually go to victimization is tendency to think very little of myself and just to feel sorry for myself.
So I admire the fact that you didn't.
That's where I go. And which is so interesting because I have a very strong.
and then see the self welch.
So I just stifle and I just,
if I get concerned about something,
I don't tend to drive harder.
I tend to just stamp out my life.
What gets me to drive harder is myself.
Like if I'm always trying to beat myself
or if I've decided that I'm gonna do something for me,
I will push and do whatever I have to do
to like beat my own record, do my own luck, whatever.
But I've noticed it's a very negative,
weak aspect of me that I go to victimization.
So anyway, I admire you for not doing that.
But yeah, so, but just responding in the way that you did,
meaning either fight, flight, or freeze.
Very, very understandable, very normal.
So, but what you're talking about,
obviously is wondering, well, wait a minute,
how come I was fine and then all of a sudden I'm not?
So all of those things just kind of just,
like you say, it's a trigger.
It shows us something that is actually deep down in us
that we really are struggling with.
And the Lord knows it,
but we don't know that we're enslaved
in that area of our life.
We're actually victim to it.
In other words, we're enslaved to it.
It's weighing, it's not just weighing us down,
it's limiting us in that, in aspects of life,
whether or not we even know it's there.
So it's a gracious of the Lord when it's,
when we are triggered
and the Lord is giving us an opportunity.
I'm not saying that he's making these situations
for us to be triggered all the time,
but I'm just saying though, that it's his graciousness,
that what he does is that he reveals to us,
hey, you're enslaved in this area
and you don't usually know it,
but now it's highlighted because you're in pain.
So would you like more love and freedom?
So that pain that we're feeling is not condemnation.
It's not shame.
I mean, like from the Lord from the Holy Spirit,
it's not shame, it's not condemnation.
It's, hey, look where you're doing.
Yeah, you shouldn't be doing that.
It's a, hey, don't you want this?
Because you are this and you have this,
but you're not living like it.
You're not allowing yourself to live like it
because you don't believe it's this good.
You don't believe you're this good.
You don't believe it,
meaning like as good as God says that we are,
and as good as he says that he is and all of that.
And so it just gives us an opportunity
to think of it this way, when you're in that situation,
say for instance, you were thinking,
oh my goodness, this makes me feel
like a second-class citizen.
The fascinating thing is that we keep,
what we're afraid of is that the situation
or a trigger or whatever is revealing to us the truth.
But if it's not lining up with God's truth,
what's actually happening is God's saying,
no, no, no, it is always better than what you're thinking.
Always.
It's never worse than what you're thinking in God ever.
I mean, like never.
So it's never worse than what you're thinking.
Like in other words, the truth.
The truth is always better than what you're currently
believing.
So my point is, when you're in that place of pain,
there's literally nowhere to go but up.
If you're gonna grab a hold of truth,
which is what we're all wanting
and which is why that situation is so painful.
That situation isn't painful
because we recognize it's a lie.
It's painful because we're concerned that it's the truth.
But the thing is, it's the truth.
The God's real truth is always better
than what we're thinking.
Always without exception.
It's always better than what it is that we are afraid
is true or even what we hope is true.
Because remember, it says that we can't even,
what does it say?
What's the phrase?
That it hasn't even entered men's minds
what God has prepared.
And what he's prepared is he's prepared it through Christ
because it says that God says we already have it all.
So this thing that he's prepared for us
is something we already have.
What we're doing is we're coming into more
and more realization of it,
more and more experience of it,
more and more operations from it,
but we already have it.
So anyway, so this whole thing of like
what he's already prepared,
what he's preparing for us is what he's prepared for us
and he's already given to us.
And then we just slowly get to begin to operate more in it.
Think of it kind of like this. I saw a vision of this one time, two, three years ago,
where I was standing at the cross with Jesus, and he was really, really, really tall. And I looked
that my, I think it was an adult, but my size looked to be about like four years old. I was
very, very short for Jesus. And I had on this brown cloak. And Jesus reached down and he took
off my brown cloak because my brown cloak was who I thought that I was. I thought this cloak,
this mantle, you know, of authority or whatever, this is what I thought I was. I thought it was
dingy and brown and very dull and very unauthoritative, you know. And so he took it off
of me and he gave me a mantle. He gave me a robe, like a coronation robe. If you've ever seen the
one in those old pictures of Queen Elizabeth when she was coronated, it was that long,
really thick velvet, weighs a ton from what I've heard. And then it's lined by ermine,
it's like, I don't remember how long, it's like six yards long or something, it's huge.
Anyway, he put that, he put something like that on me. But remember, I'm four, I'm about the size
of a four-year-old, so I'm very short. So that six-yard coronation robe, the majority of it is
lying on the ground and just a little bit of it is reaching up from the ground and sitting on my
shoulders, just a little bit of it. Just about from here to the ground, you know, is what my
weight, is what my shoulders were carrying because that's how tall I was in the Lord. That's how
mature I was, that's all I knew. But, and I realized that as I grew taller, more and more of
that robe was going to be pulled up because I'm getting taller and therefore with my height,
in other words, with my spiritual maturity, was going, I was going to be bearing more and more
weight of the mantle I already had. I'd already been given it, that entire robe was mine,
but I didn't have the strength to bear the weight of it all yet. But as I grew taller,
I could bear more and more of the weight, but I had all of it. Nobody else is carrying it,
you know, it was just lying there on the ground. So the ground supporting it, it was given to me.
More wasn't waiting to be given, but all that I could, but I was just carrying the amount to which
I had matured. So anyway, you can think of that, you know, if ever, you know, you're wondering,
if ever, you know, you would kind of think about, well, how can I have everything? And yet I don't
get to access everything, meaning I feel like I don't get to access everything. I don't feel like
I get to operate in all of it. You know, well, if God says that we can, that we should just be able
to command and people heal or people rise from the dead, why aren't I doing that right now?
Why can't I do it right now? Because I prayed over so-and-so and they didn't get well, you know,
well, because it's all ours, but we're still learning how to operate in it. And we're only
so old in the Lord, you know, and I don't mean like earth years. I just mean in spiritual maturity,
we're only so spiritually mature. And as we grow, we're going to pull up, you know, more and more
of that, of that robe as we grow maturity. So a point is that I'm trying to remember
why I went on that rabbit trail. Something, I don't remember. Oh, that's what it was
talking about, you know, switching from the bondage of, that we can feel that we're, that
the Lord is revealing to us, Hey, look, this pain that you're in, it's always better than the lie
you're telling yourself. Always. It's even better than the truth. You're telling yourself
because only, you know, it's never even entered man's imaginations and minds, what it is that
God has prepared for him. So, so you can just think of it like that. And I don't mean to give
in you any of that is if you need to worry about trying to convince yourself during those moments,
that session, this isn't true now, Tim, you remember it's different. It's better. It's
whatever, because that won't work. You know, we've been telling ourselves what we should
believe our whole lives and we're where we are, you know? So the thing is that my whole point is
that if God says this, you have to make a choice that it's true because you won't feel it. You
won't believe it. It won't logically make sense, especially if in those moments you've got specific,
you know, all those other feelings are coming up. It's trying to prove to you,
otherwise it's trying to say, no, this other thing is actually true.
And so God's like, no, I want you to choose that.
This is true.
Choose that you are who I say that you are, you know, and anyway.
And so because that's really what's going on is we're questioning in those moments.
We don't feel valuable.
We don't feel important.
We don't feel that we have substance.
We don't feel that we are, we don't feel successful.
And we quite successful with having meaning, with having value, with being wanted or having
a contribution or I don't know, whatever thing that's important to someone.
And then we, and so what I always have to do is we can, is I always have to pull away
from all of those standards, all those things that I'm using to kind of like validate my
existence or my importance or, you know, whatever, just my value.
I have to completely disassociate from them all together.
And I have to choose no, am I, are God and I okay?
You know, right now, are he and I okay?
Is he okay with me?
Well, he says he is.
He says he is.
Even if I sin, even while I sin, he doesn't stop talking to me.
So my goodness, I don't see how it can get any better than that.
Meaning like I'm so one with him that he's always in perfect union with me, just like
he is in perfect union with Jesus.
And just like he has the Holy spirit.
And immediately when we choose that, that's true.
When we shift to that place, because that's rest, when we shift to that place of choosing
union with him and choosing that we are already unified with him, I promise everything within
you just stills and nothing else matters.
Like not your job or your finances or your social situation, you know, in something like
that, where it feels like embarrassing because you're standing up and everybody is sitting
down all of this sudden, none of it matters.
And I didn't.
And, and I don't tell you that in theory, I tell you that because that's what I experience
like continually.
It's what I experienced when I, but the only way you can do that is to completely disassociate
from all those other ways in which we're trying to, that we're trying to use to validate to
ourselves.
Am I enough?
Okay.
Well, do I have as much as them?
You know, well, I got us to get to, but they got it and they got a ticket that they got
to sit and I didn't.
And so you know, and and we have to completely disassociate from what we're experiencing,
what the world is showing, what our situation is, what someone's saying, even what our own
thoughts are saying to ourselves.
We actually have to cut a connection from them and stop trying to connect that with
our experience with, um, with, um, our value because it won't ever reconcile.
That's what I'm trying to say.
We're trying to get our earthly experience to reconcile with what God says.
And it won't, it flat out won't.
In fact, the only way that it will quote unquote, um, reconcile or that our experience
will reflect who it is that we are, is if we're, we choose in opposition to the world
that we are, who God says that we are.
And then that is what has the power to make it.
So in creation, in other words, where creation begins to respond to that, we have to put
ourselves in that position first, in order for creation to be able to get that instruction
to respond to, we can't, we're not defined by creation, by the situation, by how people
respond to us, by whatever that can't, that won't reflect who we are before we present
who we really are.
We have to choose that that's who we are and present that as who we are for creation
to then start responding to us like it, it will not do it first period.
So as hard as that is, that's what we're here for.
What we'll hear for it.
I mean, we were here, we were here before that ever, um, became a problem because God
put it on earth, you know, in Adam and Eve before Adam ever fell.
So the thing is, that's one of the things that we're doing.
We're here to show God, we're here to present God, but the obstacle right now, one of the
things that we're having to do in order to show God is to actually overcome the lie.
First, sort of, it's hard to explain, but anyway, is to overcome that lie.
And that's it.
But remember, God already had the victory of it.
And so he's already overcome it by a higher.
or power that lie. We're just proving it. But, but anyway, so
that we can't, we can't expect to be affirmed in order for us
to stand in our place. Creation is only reflecting towards us
what we and others have said that humans are. And in order
for it to reflect something different, in order to reflect
the truth, we actually have to present it with the truth,
meaning we have to believe it and we have to be it. We have
to act like it, we have to actually be that son of God,
that we are on earth. First, the situations won't be any
different. And we, we, we change the situations, we change
creation by believing the opposite of what it's trying to
if what it's reflecting as truth, it's only reflecting what
we've been telling it for thousands and thousands of
years. So we now have to reflect, we have now have to be
another truth. If we can't convince it, we can't convince
it by logic, we have to believe we have to be at first that
will convince it. So anyway, I keep trying to like phrase it
and come up with different ways of phrasing it. But is that
helpful? Yes, it is. I have to choose and operate in my
sonship. And from there, like that is, that's where everything
will come from. I can't expect the situation or the feelings to
give me the validation that I desire.
Yes. And so an easy way to think of it, and we all know that. But
the easy way to kind of like in the simple way to kind of think
about it to make now different from how we've always been
living our life this far, just like, okay, well, we know it's
not true. But we can't seem to convince ourselves. And, you
know, in a way that actually sticks. So something different
that I recommend, you know, that you do now is you choose is
that you just just completely disassociate from all of this
fear that you have, and all of this thing of like, Oh, my
goodness, then I'm going to go, I'm going to go find a job, I'm
going to show them and I'm going to do it. This is what I'm going
to do to fix the situation completely disassociate from
whatever you're trying, whatever, from trying to do
anything, like emotionally disassociate, pull towards the
Lord, and say, Okay, are God and I okay? That's maybe a lot of a
simple phrase that you can always use whenever you're
triggered. Are God and I okay? You know, am I enough for God?
You know, and then just reconnect with who does he say
who does he say that he is to the degree says that he is that
and who does he say that I am? And what degree does he say I'm
not? And just connect with that? Are he and I okay? Yeah. Yeah,
he and I are okay. Now you have to choose it. Because you're not
going to telling yourself in your mind that it's true won't
transform you. It won't change your feelings. But actually
making a willful intentional decision. No, this is reality.
And the more that you do it, and the closer that you are with the
Lord, kind of like what I was talking to read about earlier,
you know, the more that you just like develop that intimacy of
relationship with him, just like spending time with and just
accepting fully accepting his being in his presence, you know,
the more familiar that become with that, the easier that it is
to make that choice, because you continually make that choice
when you're in situations like this. So here's just one more
situation. Oh, yeah, I'm really familiar with that. So you're
triggered by all of these emotions, but you're also very
familiar with making the choice that God that you that that
you're enough for God, you're really familiar with, you know,
from practice making the choice that, you know, you that, that,
well, like I said, that you're enough for the Lord, that you
are who he says that you are, you know, etc. And then that
just immediately diffuses this other situation that you're
thinking about. And then it can also because that's kind of like
the answer to everything, that will then help you more clearly
see what should I do now? Because before, like, say, for
instance, you're thinking, Oh, I'm going to rule this situation
is triggering me and prompting me to go, well, I'm going to do
this. And I'm going to fight like this. And I'm going to, I'm
going to get this type of job, and I'm going to work really
hard. So you're using the that as like the motivation. So if
you just completely disassociate, disassociate from
it, and then choose that, you know, okay, are God and I okay?
Yeah, yeah, we're okay. Well, I'm at rest. Well, that was
easy. You know, you can even go through the rush shifting tools
if you
to in order to help yourself, you know, and, and all of a sudden you're fine. Okay. So now from
that place of oneness in Christ, now look at your situation. Now, do you want that job? Now,
do you want to do those things that you had thought about doing? Because they may not be bad,
but do it now from the place of God's eyes and God's heart and God's will, as opposed to from
being, as opposed to being prompted by, by fear or fight, you know, but you might still come to
the same conclusion that you did before of like, Hey, you know, I think I want to do this job.
I think I want to pursue it. And Hey, drive is a good thing. You know, people, you know,
I think that we've talked about the fact, you know, you you're someone with drive,
you know, and you like your, your go-getter and you like to do that. That's not bad.
It's not bad. It's very good thing. It just needs to be from the right source. Like, okay,
is it relying on God? Or is it relying on yourself? You know, so that that's the thing.
So it doesn't mean that whatever conclusion that you come to out of fight flight or freeze
is the wrong one, but it is the wrong source and it's the wrong fuel to fuel the job search or to
fuel the, whatever. So you let it all of that go and you shift into, okay, or God, not enough.
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I forgot. Okay. Now, Lori, now that I, that, that I don't feel a need
to provide for and protect myself, it doesn't, now what do we want to do? I came up with this
idea. I understand it was prompted by this fear, but I, now that I'm in, you know, seeing things
from your heart and your mind, your spirit, I don't know. Yeah. I see it as a really cool,
cool idea. I never, you know, had thought about it before, or all of a sudden, you know, Lord,
last year when you, when I talked to you about this, I really didn't want to do it. And now
all of a sudden I do. So you could still come to the same conclusion, but now you're doing it from,
from a totally different source, which changes everything. It changes.
If you want to use an old phrasing on this, it changes God's blessing on it.
Hmm. Anyway, those are ideas. Yeah. But I wanted to just make it sound simple that all you're
doing is you're disassociating from it for just a minute in order to now approach it from the
right source. But the only way you can approach it from the right source is if you completely
disconnect, you completely drop it, leave it. Okay. Forget about all this, forget about all,
and not forget, like you're going to forget, but just, you know, just, uh, uh, stop making it the
most important thing to you and choose. Are you in God? Okay. Is that that's the most important
thing to you and then relook at the situation. So you're not ignoring it. You're not shoving it
under the rug, you know, for some therapists to deal with it next year, you know, it's just,
you're now just approaching it from a different perspective. So, and then now look at the
situation now, look at, at, okay. No, I was, I was, um, even while you're in the room, okay.
I'm still here. I'm still standing here, you know, now what do I, you know, but God and I are okay.
So does that change how you feel in that situation? Does it not change what you, what decision you
make about what you want to do? Do you want to go get a chair? Do you want to stay in the corner?
Do you want to go make friends with the other people who didn't get a table? I mean,
what do you want to do? Or you could go through all of this. Well, after you get home
and you're thinking about, okay, well, I'm going to go to this, I'm going to go to that,
you know, whenever it is, you know, you just, uh, you, you, you just connect from it in order to
now be able to approach it from a righteous perspective, from the position of the judgment
seat of Christ, where you can now see inappropriately judged, not just the decision,
but also what you should do about it. You know, what, what things did it prompt you to do? Did it
prompt you to, I don't know, to start pursuing something that you hadn't had a drive and an
interest for, and all of a sudden you do now. And God's like, Hey, I think it's a good idea.
You know, anyway, is that, is that helpful at all? Yes, it's very helpful. And thank you for that
extra part. Cause it did simplify it. Like I'm like, I can remember that. Like, yeah,
Hey, like that. Yeah. That's really good. And the source part really helped too, because
yeah, I've heard that before, but it makes a lot of sense and it's a good reminder. Yeah.
Yeah. So, um, you know, those situations are hard. They, they hurt, they don't feel good.
They don't make us feel good about ourselves and all of that. Um, uh, but what it is that we,
we choose is to, okay. When I'm in that situation, how do I, how do I reconnect with,
is this is the way that I'm feeling accurately reflecting who God says that I am. Let's not,
and I don't like feeling this way. And I don't.
like living like this. Don't like all the ideas that are coming up. So I choose a different way
to live. I choose to live one that's more like, um, you know, who God says that I am and the life
that he died for me to have. And that's what I choose in this situation. So it's not negating,
you know, our feelings or anything, because remember, um, don't ever condemn or shame
yourself or squelch your feelings. We're not telling ourselves to ignore what we're feeling.
Remember your soul that is having all those feelings, all that hurt, all that pain,
all that, whatever it's important to be listened to. It has value. It has a right to be heard.
You know, we should, you know, it wants to have a voice. It wants to know that it's safe enough
with us to have a temper tantrum or to be afraid or whatever situation that we're in.
And, um, so we just, uh, remember what I said the other day that just love and accept yourself.
Let me phrase this a little different just because it'll simplify it, make it easier,
just fully accept that you feel the way that you feel while you're feeling it. And that will
shockingly, just that even before you're like, trying to remember, remember who it is you are
in the Lord and all that, just accepting yourself as feeling the way that you do. Okay. I'm mad
or I feel incensed by this injustice, you know, or I, you know, whatever the, you know,
situation, the situations that we find ourselves, you know, make us feel and just accept that and
accept yourself feeling like that. Okay. Well, apparently, you know, I'm just mad
and then it will shockingly diffuse the situation. You'll still feel mad,
but you'll go from like a 10 to a one or something. I mean, it's wild. And you haven't
even tried to shift into rest because you, because you stopped resisting you. So therefore that gives
you less resistance to be overcoming later when you're trying to have faith in God and who he
says that you are. So that'll drop it a lot. And then it'll be easier for you to overcome that one
as opposed to the 10, you know, in order to believe that you really are who God says that
you are because you, you accepted yourself. You were the King to yourself, you know, showing
yourself that you were that, that it was that you were there to protect it and to provide for it,
to listen to it, that it's safe with you, you know, your soul, your body, your emotions and
all that, just like God wants us to know that we're safe with him. So you do that for yourself
and then you, and you go to Lord and ask him to you know, and choose to receive that same
protection and provision from him. Cause that's what we're doing when we come into agreement
is we're choosing to accept his protection and provision in the way that he chooses to give it.
But anyway, I just want to clarify that this is not to that in no way should in this situation,
when I say to disconnect, I'm not talking about ignoring our emotions or not thinking about him
or not accepting them or just kind of, or like stifle them at all. I just mean, we have to,
no, it's the only way I can think of, can y'all think of another word other than disconnect?
That is honestly the best word I can think of. It's almost like all of these lines, all of these
cords are connecting us to all of these things that we're thinking about. You just cut them off
and you separate yourself from them because they, they have this pull on you. They have this
power over you. And, and, and so you, you basically take your, your power back, so to speak,
your autonomy to make decisions and you cut off and you choose that. What's important to you
is, is, are you in God? Okay. Not your association or relationship with all of these things like
the job or the social situation I'm in, or how it makes me feel or what these people might be
thinking of me or whatever. So you just cut all those things off and you're like, no, I choose,
I intentionally choosing this moment, but that's not my highest priority. That's what I'm trying
to say. Yes. You're disassociating the priority and you're choosing a different priority. So I
don't mean that you're ignoring this. I mean that you're switching priorities so that you can now
address this one, but you can't address these until this one's done first, because this one
has the power to overcome these because otherwise, if you don't do that, when you just keep them,
well, hang on, you know, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna work at this, you know, it's a, it's.
a hard battle because you're on the same level as them.
You're just battling and it's a lot of work.
So if you go though from this power and bring it down,
well then the Lord's power will just dismantle the power
of these things that they've had over you
or that they're trying to get or whatever.
So the disconnection is a switching of priority.
I love that.
Great, so anyway, try to think of all kinds
of different ways to articulate
because I don't want you in any way to think
that we're talking about shoving things into the rug
or that our feelings don't matter.
No, they need to be acknowledged
or they can't actually be healthfully,
the situation can't healthfully be approached
from God's truth because in order to kind of
give God's truth a priority,
priority obviously is a relative term
and you have to have something else
in order to make this the priority.
If this is the only thing, it's not a priority
because it's the only thing.
There has to be something else
in order for it to be a priority.
We can't ever ignore the reality of this world.
If you feel like that, you feel like that.
If you're sick, you're sick.
Like if we're talking about like physical healing
or whatever, if you're sick, you really are sick.
If you're angry, you really are angry.
You don't need to ignore the fact that you're angry
and hope it'll go away.
It has to actually be addressed.
And so in any way, my point is your feelings are important.
The part about you that hurts,
the part of you that hurts, that's important.
It doesn't not matter.
It's a valuable part that simply just needs to be talked to.
It simply needs to know that you heard it
and that even though it's afraid
that what God said isn't true,
doesn't mean that that feeling isn't a real thing in there.
And so it needs to be treated like a real thing.
It's not a vapor, it's a real thing
and it needs to be treated like a real thing.
So I'm trying to say, yeah.
Anyway, so your feelings are important.
What it is that you, all of the pain
that you experienced is important.
But if you want to live where you have a different experience
than what you're experiencing,
that's how to get the different experience.
That's how to shift.
That's good.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
I'm sorry I had that experience.
It is no fun.
Oh my, it is.
In a way, I did not realize,
well, does anyone have anything before we jump off?
I just basically gave two teachings there
because I talked so long for both of them.
But hey, less questions y'all had to come up with.
But is there anything else though
that y'all did want to talk about or have questions on?
I always like to make sure.
Y'all good?
Okay.
All right.
Well, it's good to see y'all.
And as I was telling Rita,
I think that you were on, Tammy, that you heard.
I'm still trying to get stuff uploaded.
I haven't been able to upload it.
It keeps aborting it.
Every time that the thing will like upload
to like less than half of the videos.
And then they'll just let like,
like it'll like be uploaded to 50% on a video
and then it'll just abort it and kick it out.
And so I tried and tried for multiple days.
And so I'm trying to get new internet tomorrow.
So hopefully I'll be able to upload at some point.
But so when I do, I will add that one, Rita,
about what to do.
You know, if you just don't wanna spend time
with the Lord or whatever,
it's really just what I've explained,
but who knows?
I did do that teaching a while ago.
So there might be something in here that I didn't say,
something in there that I didn't think of to say,
but anyway.
All right.
Yeah.
Oh, just out of curiosity.
It's fine if you haven't,
but Tammy, have you been able to read
the ultimate choice yet?
Was it helpful at all?
Good.
Okay, good.
Okay.
Yeah.
I think I was back to the Facebook one
and I found one day and I found it on there
and I was like, oh, that's the ultimate choice too.
So now I have it in both places.
Yeah.
Oh, good.
Good, good.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
Well, it's good to see y'all.
Y'all have a good night.
Night.
Bye.