Okay.
Hey girl.
You doing, I can't see you yet. Are you there. Okay. Oh, hold on.
I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
I can't see you but yeah.
Are you on your phone.
Now I'm there.
You're in a different location. Are you in your office for edit at the house. I'm just out in my son room.
Oh, nice. It's pretty I like.
Yeah.
So, sorry about that.
That's fine. I hope that your real estate deals are going okay.
Yeah, yeah.
Yep, I think so it would be an agreement I do have an inspection at three o'clock that could be a little bit of a tough one because it's a VA loan, but to be an agreement that three o'clock.
Yeah, I mean I don't have to be there that well.
Okay.
I'm going to have to text let me text really I'm sorry things got a little crazy today we had an office meeting went late blah blah blah. Let me text a relative real quick and then I should be free.
Sure.
Can you hold on real quick.
Okay, I'm going to, I'm going to call her real quick. Okay, and see if she's going.
I like your deck is that where you're at. Yes, yeah, I like it too it might be it's my favorite in the summer. Yeah, yeah.
That's nice.
Okay, hold on, let me just call Shelby real quick, or.
Okay, I'll put it on mute a minute. Okay.
Okay.
Okay, I got that done. Praise the Lord. Good. Yeah, well, I am. I thought, well, if you're doing that I'll go get me some water.
And then I had to move because I think that if I sat there. I get a sunburn.
My next I'm like, okay, let me do the other side of the table.
I think you got in a better spot and you got water. Yes, I did.
With line.
Exciting, I got me a little with lemon.
Oh, there you go.
Yeah, I had some lemon that I thought about getting.
I was like, I have to cut it.
Yeah.
This, this is the,
so I was in a hurry to get back to the table,
but this is true lime.
Have you ever heard of it?
Oh no, but I'll have to check it out.
Yeah, it's really great.
It's made with real limes and,
or, and they also have lemons as well,
but, and they just kind of, it's crystallized.
It's real lemon crystallized.
And then, and they, and they make it big lemon, lemonade,
sorry, lemon, lime, and orange.
Anyway, so it's great because I like to just,
you can just take them with you.
Like you can take them on the airplane
or you can take them to a restaurant or whatever.
And then you've got, you've got lemon or lime
and you don't have to carry around the real fruit anyway.
I like it.
Okay.
Yeah.
I wish I could go outside, but I'd be in the sun
and I would be, wouldn't be able to see.
Cause it's, it's in the seventies here today in Missouri.
Oh, it's so nice.
Well, I think, I think it is here too now.
It wasn't this morning, but it is now.
So that's really nice.
Ed, you know, I'm just so ready to be warm again.
Yeah.
I know we have a few days of cool.
Yeah.
We have a few days of cooler after that,
but then I think spring's coming early.
That's so.
I really enjoy warmer weather.
So, so, so many people say that they would rather
be cold than hot because you can always add layers.
And I'm like, well, not always, but that's what they say.
So I'm like, okay, that's great.
I said, I, they said, because in the heat, you know,
you can only take off so many layers.
But for me, I've just learned to adapt to so much
to the heat and haven't learned to adapt very well
to the cold.
It's like, it gets down into your bones
and then you feel you can't get it out.
So I know that people like Wim Hof and whoever,
they figured out how to do it, but I have not.
So anyway, I'm like, I prefer the heat over the cold.
But anyway, so how are you doing?
Well, I have to slow down a minute here today
after we had office meeting 30 miles from here.
And other than that, and this inspection
that I'm expecting good and expecting God to be good
and expecting it to work out,
because we really weren't taking government loans
on this house, but we took one.
So some of you just would rather not have that situation
because there's more hoops to go through and stuff.
So I'm still expecting good.
I'm expecting it to work out.
So yeah, so anyway, how am I doing?
I'm just doing all right.
I didn't really even have time to plan on what to talk to.
So that's all right.
I expect Holy Spirit.
Usually, yeah.
Usually stuff comes up while we talk and someone does it.
That's usually, at least from my experience, best
because it's just, like you said,
just letting the spirit flow.
And he even said, hey, if you get called before court
for following me, he said, don't even plan
on what you're saying.
Just let be guided in the moment.
So anyway, how's everything going with,
like you were doing some other stuff during this time.
Like, was it with Oaks Rising?
Yeah.
Some inner healing and stuff.
So how has you been doing that?
Why you've been doing the rest intensive?
And I don't know if there's anything else you've been doing,
but just overall, how have you been doing
with like just healing and then your marriage with Ken
or your approach to how it's all affecting you
and just how are you doing?
Right.
Well, I think there's been some healing going on.
You know, there's definitely, and the Oaks Rising,
I think this was a good match because I started it.
I started it several months ago
and then we did kind of the core sessions.
We finished up the core sessions
right in the middle of this.
So I think that went well.
It was good because we were healing things,
deep things too, you know, that needed done.
So I think it was a good, it turned out to be a good match,
a good mix.
Perfect.
Yeah.
So I think that's, yeah.
And I think that's good.
And I think I've found myself like,
even the last couple of days, you know,
maybe starting to react a little bit, even to Ken.
Sometimes, you know, he told me
he was going to take off work today
because he worked all weekend.
He ended up working both days.
And, but then he decided, I think I'm going to work.
So there's those little,
cause I thought we might do something,
but then it was like, I quickly,
and so I started to get a little.
But, you know, well, I thought, you know, we were going to maybe at least get a walk in or something today.
But then I quickly said, well, you know what, do you do you want to do dinner tonight?
Because I had thought I had we planned on cooking some nice steaks yesterday.
He ended up working all day and all evening.
And I said, you still want to cook the steaks tonight? So I quickly just kind of shifted gears.
And I used I use the terminology and I was like, OK, I'm choosing God is good for a second there.
I was just kind of, you know, when things don't go well, I was just kind of out of out of sorts for a minute.
And, you know, I thought you weren't going to work today. And and he said, well, I think I will.
You know, I think I'm going to or whatever. And and so and I think I said something like, I don't know.
I probably said something. So I said, well, it's always it's about you, isn't it, Ken?
It's about all about you, isn't it? And but then I quickly just shifted gears.
He went, you know, and I just so I used the technique and I just said, I'm choosing God is good.
And and I got plenty to do anyway. And I may get a walk in, but it's going to have to be later.
And and we still might get to do dinner tonight. So the tools help today again.
Good. Yeah. And even last night, you know, because we were going to have dinner before the meeting and he he called and said,
well, I'm going to stay and finish doing some work and taking videos for this for the new job.
He got he got a new job. I don't think so.
I don't think I did. He got a new job and he and he likes it.
He got hired as a salesperson for a composting organic composting company that sells mulch and different things.
It's where he's bought his mulch for a long time and they hired him to be sales and to travel around Missouri a little bit,
which he kind of likes to do and pretty good, decent salary with commission.
Yeah. And it took another part. He took another. I think my mailman's here.
So my mailman is going to bring in some love here. OK, that's good.
Yeah, he's a sweet guy. And so Andy, he took another part time job that he'd been talking about.
So all of a sudden he went from a part time, 25 hours a week to a full time and a part time job.
But but the part time he can do when he wants to. It's like, yeah, he can do when he wants to.
Yeah. Special delivery. How are you today? Thank you so much.
Appreciate you want to sit down anywhere. Thank you.
Thank you. Put together for me if you want.
OK, so you have a great rest of the day. Appreciate you. Uh huh.
So anyway, he's just a sweetie. And I always tell I have a sign out there.
Bring my stuff in my son room because I leave it open if I'm not here.
So so he just comes right in. Oh, great. It's always a man.
Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, you know, people you can trust.
And anyway, so. So, yeah. So the other job he can do when he wants to.
It's actually driving for a limo service for like weddings and stuff.
OK, yeah. Yeah. And they have real nice vehicles. And so he chose to go ahead and take the job this weekend.
And then his boss. So he did that Friday night and Saturday night.
And then his boss asked him to work Sunday to do some marketing.
This is funny. I have to tell you real quick to do some marketing for him in Columbia.
They the compost company is called Bluebird, which I like the name.
Yeah, it's all organic. And they sponsor a film festival called True False Film Festival, which I don't know if you ever heard of it.
But Ken and his first wife used to be involved in True False, helped do advertising for them.
And then they got they got kind of they're a little bit liberal and stuff.
And Ken kind of wanted to get away from it. He felt led to get away from it.
Well, then he got put back up. His boss has asked him to go up there yesterday.
And he got interviewed by television. He was on TV.
He was he was on TV last night just for a minute. And yeah.
And then he went to the film festival and then he got to visit one of his good friends yesterday in between.
And he went to the film festival and took pictures for their social media.
So, I mean, he's just like, this is just really weird because I wanted to get away from this film festival.
And here I am back here. But but you know what?
I responded well when he said he he he thought he was just going to go up there for a few hours.
So we were going to maybe get together yesterday. But I just responded well.
I I was just like, OK. And, you know, I've got plenty to do anyway.
And so so, yeah, I can see, you know, so even yesterday and then I started to respond not so well this morning, but I flipped it quickly.
That's great. I'm so glad for you.
And it is really all of this. And this is what I tell people because I even.
have now you're you're not in a situation I'm just saying that I've talked to people like
in very extreme situations like that are that are living in abusive controlling situations by a
spouse and they and so it this even and this is what I tell them as well because they'll they'll
you know ask me like how do I deal with this and so I'll tell them I said well the thing is you
can't control someone else but you can free yourself and I don't mean free as in like like
they leave and get out of the house and you're like they you know and they divorce all that I
don't mean that I just mean you can like because it depends on the situation as to what as to what
God wants that particular couple to do I just talked to them about the about the fact that
they that it's important to free yourself from the control because you're being controlled
internally and so anyway so that's what I was just saying for you is like you just feeling like
okay no I'm gonna choose my I'm gonna choose my own freedom I'm gonna choose to be free as opposed
to just being as opposed to my life or how I feel about myself being dictated by someone else's
choices and how they're choosing to live life what is they're choosing to do not do whatever
and just like oh my word now now my life is created simply because it's simply from what
somebody else decides to do and therefore it forces me to respond and I don't want to respond
I didn't want to be in the situation I have to make a choice instead you just kind of free
oneself to realize because I was doing a transformation session right before yours
not with someone in the in the group but like a past client who did a transformation session I
was talking to them about the same thing about like hey remember to own yourself because you're
it feels like everything's out of out of my control and I said you know you just choose
that you really are as valuable as God says that you are and then just is wild that making such a
simple choice it can be hard when we're not used to it but it is very simple may be challenging
for us to actually just do but it is simple as in like it's not complex and you just choose that
you really are as valuable as God says that you are and that kind of allows you to own yourself
again and just like okay I actually have a free will I can determine and make decisions about my
life and what it is that I want to do and what it is that I want to decide and how it is that
I want to respond or and so that is freedom is owning oneself so yeah you still have the choice
based off of okay well somebody else is going to do this and therefore well I was wanting this and
now I know they're not giving me the option to choose that okay but I can still make a choice
other choices and so in fact speaking of this I was telling her because she was asking me stuff
about like well with her children how does she operate more from a place of rest because she
was struggling with she wanted to teach them freedom at a young age that she's trying to
learn as an adult like how do you feel like you're not being controlled how do you feel like you
actually do own yourself and she's like how do I convey that to them and she was running into
situations where like well they wanted to eat dessert at night and she didn't want them to have
dessert and she's like well what do I do because I don't want to like control them to the point
where then they start having eating issues because their mother always said no they can't eat you
know or they can't eat ice cream you know or whatever she's like so how do I do that and
and I said well honestly what you're doing is you're teaching them how to uh as an like as an
adult to understand that the world is bigger than strictly the options that you're being given
than strictly like this thing that you want to do or this thing that you don't want to do
like the world is bigger and so you're teaching them at a young age to think bigger than simply
what it is that they're focused on like I really didn't want to have to do this or I really want
to do this and nothing's letting me do this and so for instance I was telling her you know
like if the child wants to eat ice cream and you don't want them to eat ice cream it's like you
don't have to give them an option of which dessert they eat you don't have to give it you can just
say no I'm afraid we're not going to have ice cream tonight but you could you know you could
have a bubble bath or you could you know um we could read a few uh extra chapters tonight I was
thinking we could read a few extra chapters tonight because you're not driving them away
from it you're just giving them a you're giving them a choice that they can make of how they can
have fun if they can't have this thing so I said what you're doing is you're actually teaching them
to think bigger than simply focusing on a specific specific thing that they want or don't want and
just try to find fun in other choices that they have an option to make point is it's the same
thing as an adult it's like we're like hey look you know kind of like a parent like like as if
like a spouse is saying hey look my choice is this you're going that's really not the choice that I
to be able to interact with, I wanted to do that. And now I'm
being told no, you know, and, you know, because emotionally,
that's how we feel. I'm not saying anything negative about
Ken or about, you know, about making a decision, I'm saying
how it affects us, because we're talking about free me, what do I
do about me, you know, as opposed to simply living,
feeling like I'm a victim to everybody else's decisions about
how they want to live life. And I just have to like, cope, you
know, and readjust. So how do you choose yourself in those
moments? And one of the things you do is like what you said,
okay, well, then I'm going to make a choice that I'm going to
be excited about dinner tonight. And so okay, well, would you
like steaks? Would you like that? And just like, right,
planning another way of, you know, still making an
intentional decision about how do I want to live life? Because
even other people involved, these still don't always go our
way. Like environment won't work a particular way. Finances don't
allow us to do that, or God said no, or whatever. And so
it's not always due to someone else. And we're always having to
adjust. So still, how do we own ourselves in situations where we
feel we're being told no, you know, without us feeling like
we're being dictated to or a victim, how do we not take on
victimhood? So it sounds like you've done amazing. That's
really hard.
Well, thank you. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And yesterday,
I like, okay, you know, because when he went, like yesterday, I
thought he was going to be back. I went on to, I went on
and went to church with my spiritual mom that has a small
church. And then I thought he'd be back. But yeah, I just kind
of was like, Oh, well, I'll go for a walk. And I'll make my
salads for the week. I've been making these little jar salads
and wide mouth jars that my girlfriend taught me. Yes, put
like spinach, spinach in each one and whatever you like. On
top of that, and then you just we bought these pretty little
lids on Amazon. And then they make a dressing. Yeah, it makes
it fun. And then you have something ready to eat. And you
can even she makes quinoa and brown rice and a rice cooker too
and she can add a little that to it to give it a little protein.
But yeah, so she taught me that. So I was like, Oh, I'll make I'll
just make my salads. I'll go to the store and all and I hot tub
by myself. And I'm like, okay, I'll hot tub. And, and then you
know, so I just thought of, okay, I can just do what I want
to do then. And I, and I didn't, I didn't re I Yeah,
that's true. I didn't react at all. I didn't even react pretty
much. Yeah, that's a win, isn't it? Oh, that is huge. That's
huge. I responded instead is like, he was like, Oh, I'm going
to stay up here. And he called and I'm like, okay. Yeah, I just
said I said, Okay. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, that's wonderful. Yeah.
That's really huge. So I'm glad I got to talk to you and see how
that was pretty big, wasn't it? Oh, my word. Are you? Are you
kidding? That's ginormous. I mean, we, we feel like those are
just like little things, you know, sometimes moment like to
the point where you're just like, well, I just really
didn't, you know, you didn't really notice it too much at the
time. But see, that's the point is for these things in a in a
manner speaking to not be a big deal. In other words, it's your
life. It's who you're transforming now to be as
opposed to something you're always trying to remember to do.
Right? It's like, we want to be the thing we want that right. We
want to transform to the point where that's our natural
response. It comes because that's who we naturally are. And
we've now removed all of this trying.
Right? Just trying. And yeah, yeah. And this morning, I didn't
do quite as good, but I transitioned quickly.
Yeah, exactly. See, we're also on a journey. I do the same
thing, you know, and in fact, like I like I joke with y'all
Ed's always having to tell me actually remember what you
teach. Like, hey, buddy.
Yeah. Hey, hey. Yeah. Right. Right. Hey, I know. Thanks for
the reminder. I know. I'm still a work in progress. Yeah, we all
are. So I guess actually, that's, that was a that was
that's good. That was a victory and not just a victory, but like
it was big. And that was just Yeah, it wasn't I just stayed at
peace yesterday. I was just okay, I'm just gonna enjoy, you
know, and I'm hot tub by myself and enjoy it. And I did. And a
girlfriend came by I cleaned out a closet Friday, and I was given
some shoes away that I'm not wearing. And she popped in and
got them and I got to talk to her a little bit about what I'm
doing and some healing and stuff. So yeah, so so yeah,
thank you for the reminder. That was good that how how that
just kind of played out. Yeah, and you know, and I don't know,
I you know, like, like I said, I don't really know exactly I have
no idea how things are going to go in the end with Ken. You
know, because we've we're not really living together. Although
So this marriage counselor that we went to right after we got back together, recommended
we live together.
He's like, you know, you guys really probably need to work on things.
So we did for a little while.
And then the me, I was like, I mean, you talk, you talk about, um, hard to deal with sometimes
if things go wrong, I'm just like, just go ahead and go, just, just go.
So, so this poor guy just, you, you know, cause he already had his, you know, his kid's
house that he'd been living with for a while.
So I'm just, I just go ahead and go.
So I am, I was not very, um, um, I was not exercising very good.
What would you call it?
I don't know what you call it.
Um, so what you're trying to say, but I don't know what that, what that word is.
I don't either.
Yes.
As Jen said, one thing he said, you know what he said?
I thought I was really flexible, but now I learned I'm, I'm learning to be really flexible
because he is quick to forgive and he's quick to, I mean, sure there's wounds in there and
stuff that, you know, cause he'll bring them up once in a while, but he's, he's pretty
quick to forgive and, and, um, always seems like we both still have this love for each
other and, and, uh, um, so, you know, but I haven't seen his family a whole lot.
That's another thing that's a little bit hard because, um, that's been a little hard because
I, you know, we got back together and then he says, you know, they were wounded when
we split up and, but it's, you know, it's like, well, you know, you know, I, you know,
I hate that they were wounded.
I mean, I turned around and still sold them a house after we had split up.
And so I was still interacting with them and they were really kind and we got, you know,
they were renting my other house.
They were renting my rental house.
So, and then I found him a house to buy anyway.
So, um, however, it's been a little hard, you know, it's been a little hard and his
other son moved to Kansas city with his wife and she's going to college there, but it's
been, you know, it's been a little hard cause I finally saw him on Thanksgiving and it ended
up one of them was sick.
So we ended up, thank goodness we had cooked a bunch of stuff.
So we ended up bringing like everything cause they were sick and really just taking care
of their children.
Couldn't even cook.
So we had a really good visit, but then Ken and I had a big fight right before Christmas
and I chose to not go to Christmas.
So that was on me.
I'm sorry.
I know it's been hard for you.
It has.
So I just still took them their gifts and some food I said I'd bring cause I wanted
to honor that and, and, and Ken's son met me outside and gave me a big hug and gave
me a little gift.
And I mean, they've been kind, they've been kind and they're, um, but in his daughter
and I are close, his daughter lives, she lives in Columbia, but we're close and she got a
bunch of, yeah, she got a bunch of freedom after we met with some friends of mine and
she flipped her whole life around and cause she was, she was in an alternative lifestyle
and she has totally flipped around and we do some conferences together now.
And, and so she's, yeah, she's seeking God and really, so, so she really, so her and
I are close.
She came and spent Christmas with me for two or three hours before she went with them.
Cause she didn't want me spending it by myself.
Was that special?
Yes.
I mean, I thought she'd just come by, but you know, she stayed like two hours or more.
That's sweet.
That's wonderful.
I'm so glad that you've got such a good relationship with his kids with her.
So yeah.
And then she, and she comes up to the same church I go to sometimes up here in Jeff city.
Anyway.
So, so there's that side, but then the other side where he says the children are hurt.
So I'm just kind of praying into that, Ashley, cause of how, you know, cause I want to go
see him.
I'm missing my grandkids.
And I brought that up to Ken a couple of times.
I'm like, I want to go see him.
And I have a little gift that I ordered that came in late anyway for Christmas.
So just that's something you can, if you have any advice or on that, and I'm trying to just
kind of be patient, but also, you know, if there's something I need to make amends for,
I've just been kind of asking the Lord, but I don't know exactly here lately.
I'm thinking maybe I should just write and see what comes out to me.
I mean, yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
That's a great idea.
And then, you know, and like what you talked about, you know, just writing and asking the
Lord, you know, Hey Lord, you know, this is what I'm thinking.
What do you think I should do or whatever?
And then an answer.
And then that's what I would do.
And then just generally, you know, you're just always wanting to honor, honor Ken and
like, Hey, you know, Kay would be contacting him.
It's all of that fine, you know, or like, and then I don't know, sometimes there's always
like contacting that the mother, the woman, the daughter, you know, whoever it is, you
know, and asking, Hey, you know, I have this present.
I was wondering, you know,
Okay, if I would you like me to mail it or may I drop it by and
see them or I don't know. Right? Right. Did you did you ever
ask him why they're hurt? Does he know why? Or something like
he won't share that with you? Or he's like, no, that's between
y'all and them? Or?
Well, he just kind of, yeah, I'm not sure he says, you know,
they were hurt in the process. And when he left, I was a
little bit I was kind of angry. And that's the thing that kid
hasn't. That's one thing though, actually, he has not really
taken responsibility for his part. So that's the part I have
a hard time. Maybe we could talk about that a minute too. Because
when I asked, I asked him, I just said, I feel like we're
supposed to separate for a few days. Because we just weren't
seem like we weren't communicating. Well, at all.
And so and we had he had there was a marriage a little retreat
coming up at the church I used to go to and about a month
before I told him about it. And I said, Would you want to go?
And he said, Yeah. And I said, Don't tell me you want to go if
you don't want to go. I it's okay. But if you want to go,
I'll pay for it. It's only $75. I said, So think about it. Just
tell me if you so I paid for it. So the weekend we split up that
marriage retreat was only a couple few days away. So I asked
if we could just separate a few days. And I said, if you want to
go to the marriage retreat, it's up to you. I'm still open. Just
let me know by like, a day ahead of time, so I can plan
accordingly. And Ken doesn't like to plan. He doesn't like to
be in the past anyway, too. Well, you know, he and I said,
so just let me know what you want to do. Because I want to
work on the marriage. You know, I still I just think we need to
work on some communication, some things I'm feeling. I'm feeling
like I can't communicate well, and his daughter was here when I
told him this. So she was she was even with him that night.
And I was I was kind I offered I mean, I fed her a sandwich
offered him something to eat. They'd been moving and I gave
you know, I get and he didn't even call me Ashley. He never
called. Not only did he not call me about their marriage thing.
He never called. Yeah. That was hurtful. And he's never owned
that. So he saw the whole thing totally different than me. Yeah.
And he sometimes he jokes communicating. And then I take
it serious. And I didn't know he was even joking. And that's what
really caused a big riff right before we that happened. And
then I was just angry. I was just like, you know, I mean. So
that's one things when we got back together, I said, Ken, I
feel like I, my heart, I feel like I can't communicate with
you. Because sometimes I try to and, and I just, I get this, you
joke, and you don't you don't want to make commitments. And
you, my heart just feels like I can't communicate. And that's
one of our problems is I have to be able to communicate with you
for together. And that's when he said, I want to do anything to
work this out. I'll do anything. So I get that I'll do anything
to work it out. And, and, and, you know, I heard he was
devastated. But then I just got angry, because then I just felt
like I was kind of which, you know, here's part of my, I felt
like I'd been kind of used and, you know, and then I because I
was angry and his family, although I was nice to them and
kind of them, but they came over one day, his son came over, and
I was just kind of angry in front of his son. Yeah. And I
was just like, you know, I said, I'm so glad your sons treat
their wives. I said, and I said, because you just seems
like you didn't honor me. And you didn't. And I just think I
said in front of you never even contacted me, Ken. And see, but
he's probably never told them that he's never told them. His
daughter knows, but, you know, he's never. So it's kind of
like, that's the part that's been hurtful. It's like, well,
Ken, you know, I would love to make amends to the family, if
necessary, but I'd like you to maybe tell him how, how it went
down that I asked for a few day separation and asked you to
call me and you never called me. Have you ever told them that?
And he won't even really answer that.
Yeah. And so he's gone through some stuff. Right. That that
maybe, you know, because women usually can verbalize their
emotions a bit better than guys. And so it sounds like there's
stuff that he's like, even though you suggested separating
for a few days, he ended up taking more than that without
talking to you about it, because all he knew to do was just to
act on how he felt without knowing or being able to
verbalize how he felt. So it sounded like there was just some
stuff that hasn't he hasn't said that he's dealing with or
That maybe he doesn't even know for himself how to explain it maybe. So the point is like it sounds like there's more to it than actually that's ever been talked about on his side so meaning like what he's dealing with or what his hang ups, meaning like what
his hurts are or person, right.
And that's just what I would ask for the action right and right and yeah. And the other hard part is in when we got back together he agreed to.
I mean he was, he agreed to talk to her mentor that he, he picked he picked he picked it it was actually Shannon Bates husband James Bates.
Yes, he covered son in law and talk to him and he agreed to maybe talk to this marriage counselor and do what they recommended and then, and I, and maybe us anyway but he only talked to James like twice and that fell off that fell off.
So, and the marriage counselor recommended a couple things which we, but it like that Scott we've done some of it but that some of that fell off and then I just decided I can't control him.
And that's what I'm trying to work out of doing because then I realized I had been trying to control. So I'm trying to come out of the control, because then we just got into this kind of controlling Ahab Jezebel thing.
So I got freedom and did a bunch of freedom so I would get free from that so now I, I'm not doing that.
Not participating because one day, he started arguing I just said I am not doing that.
And that's another thing that happened but I said I'm not doing it.
You might you might as well leave because I am not participating in this arguing.
And then he started to leave and I said, and I said now if you want to talk about it.
We can talk about it if you want if you want me to listen to you I'll listen to you and then maybe you can listen to me. So he did come back in, and I listened to him completely for like five minutes or I said we haven't said we can set a timer.
You know, this is what something else you know my spiritual mom taught me, and we've done it a couple of times you talk for two minutes and let me talk for two minutes.
And he still kind of has a hard time even though I totally listen is he's wanting to.
And I'm like no can I listen to you without saying a word.
That means I'm listening.
Now he has a really hard time not interrupting.
Even that day but he tried.
And so, but it's one of those things where you've just got to wait till someone's ready to get help.
You can't make them get help so.
So we were living together but then it was just kind of went back to will get together when we can and, and so I really don't know what to do with all this Ashley in a way, except.
I feel like the Lord's telling me to still work on it you know still not let it go.
And because the one thing I know to he's working all these things out of me, he's letting this. He's using it all together is working these things out of me that need work out.
Yeah.
And getting you freedom and and healing and. Yeah.
Yeah, that's good.
I really don't know because it is kids kind of, I mean and I know I've been difficult for sure. But he's also kind of a, he doesn't like something happened the Lord showed me in a dream I think that he was really wounded when he was little so the Lord
showed me some ways to pray for him.
But he doesn't like.
He doesn't even like being, you know, like, could you know you want to be home by six to have dinner he doesn't even like well you know it's kind of like all if he's in Columbia or something all.
Yeah, that might you know that might be okay but you almost have to say hey does something I finally figured out. You want to be home between five and six he got to give them a range almost it's kind of like he doesn't like being pinpointed he doesn't
like answering to people he doesn't like he feel, you know, that's why this new job is the guy's kind of flexible and easy go on and so so far he likes it and that makes sense, because I could be wrong but everything you've been telling me sounds
someone that always that doubts themselves and and doesn't believe that they can actually execute or accomplish. So, they're always afraid that they're going to fall short.
And so they don't people like that don't like to be pinned down don't like to have to commit, because they feel like it's just setting them up for failure.
They don't have a commitment, there's nothing to fail.
Boy.
So they don't, they don't think very much of themselves that like very low self esteem and always struggling and then people like that are very defensive, because, but really while it is that they're defending it's not necessary is more
or of like their sense, in other words,
their feeling of who they want to be,
not so much, you know, I don't know,
not so much the actual thing being talked about.
They're just trying to get a semblance of security
that they really are okay,
and they're just trying to fight it.
But they won't allow themselves
to be pinned down or committed,
and they won't do it,
they won't even do it for themselves.
Like they won't even give themselves commitments.
They like to be a lot more spontaneous.
They don't like to have set schedules,
because again, it always feels like something
that they're just set up for failure for.
That's it, that's it.
He's very spontaneous.
Dale, my mentor even gave us a test
like a year and a half ago or whatever,
and he's totally spontaneous.
And that's kind of his, but yeah.
So you say, and you know,
but he acts like he has kind of, you know,
I guess those people do,
they sometimes act like they kind of act different
because they don't act like they have low self-esteem.
They act like they have.
Yeah, they act very confident.
Act confident, yeah.
And the other thing is what a couple of my friends saw,
a couple of times they started seeing a victim mentality,
blaming.
That everything happens to them
because then if it happens to them,
then they're not responsible.
And then they can't use it to identify themselves
that they really aren't who they want to be
and wish they were.
And very sad thing is that it's all lies.
They really are better than they ever even dreamed
that they were, but they weren't,
a lot of the times those people weren't affirmed
to see that in themselves
and become secure enough in themselves
without other people's affirmation.
They were always just torn down.
They never could meet.
So they couldn't ever get kind of like a grasp,
a sense or a sure footing underneath them
that they really were valuable
other than simply people's very sporadic response to them.
Because sometimes people like that had no,
it didn't have a safe childhood as in like emotionally safe.
They could never depend on how someone was gonna react
or interact with their actions.
Because it's like, okay,
because so often those people would get in trouble
and they didn't know why.
They're like, what did I do?
And you know.
I think his mom was pretty.
Very unpredictable childhood.
I think his mom was.
Yeah.
And then, yeah.
So anyway, the reason that I pinpoint all of those things
is like knowing those things always helps us
kind of get a sense of,
oh, they're protecting themselves against me
because they think that I don't think well enough of them
or they just don't think well enough of themselves.
And so one of the things is to always like,
always kind of is always think of the,
is always interact with who it is that God says
that they are and begin to see them like that.
In other words, you have to see yourself like that first,
shift up into your spirit and then see them in their spirit
and then talk to and interact with that person
because then it's affirming that they really are that thing
that they'd always hoped and wished that they were.
Then they begin to rise to that occasion.
It begins to fill in that gap of feeling like
they weren't ever, they're not enough
or they're not trusted or they're always failing or whatever
because if they feel like there's anything
that is being told them that they need to correct
or you're trying to be pinned down or something like that,
then they take it as feeling not trapped
but that they feel like they would be intentionally
putting themselves in a position to get punished.
Put intentionally putting themselves in a position
where someone else can now judge them
because of how they respond to it.
Meaning like, oh, well, they didn't get there on time
or that or, and then they don't want to live afraid
that they're not gonna make it on time or just whatever.
So it's all just, it's all dysfunction from woundings.
But so I've learned that for me,
what is if ever I like speak to,
if I always interact with them,
seeing them who, for who it is that God says that they are
in their fact that they're perfect,
the fact that they're strong,
that they're fully masculine, they're fully, you know,
whatever, you know, if you're talking to a guy,
cause I've had that interaction with that guy
that I gave a testimony about, you know,
for that guy at work, bit of a bully.
Yeah, yeah, right.
And so that's how I interacted with him as well.
And I'm telling.
what everything turned full, uh, turned completely upside down.
Right.
I completely changed the situation because I spoke to who it,
and he wasn't even a Christian.
He was, I don't know if he's Hindu or what he'd like 120 gods or something.
I mean, it's just wild, you know, cause he's from India anyway.
So, and I would just speak to that and I'm telling you, he just, it's like he
would, he could see that I saw him and he felt valued for who it is that he was.
And so that helped calm him down where he didn't have to feel like
he had to defend himself with me.
He saw that I valued him for who it is that he truly was, not for how he
could out smart or out best me or whatever.
Anyway.
So that's just one example, but, um, and the only way to do that is
to actually truly believe it.
And then because that's how you see them, not because you're trying to can, not
because you have an agenda to get them to feel like they are what you wish
that they knew about themselves.
That won't work.
You have to be the one whose mind has changed about who they are and
then interact with that person.
And then they will change themselves as opposed to, oh, I wish that
they knew this about themselves.
What can I do to get them to realize that that's not who they are?
We can't have an agenda.
It won't work.
They smell at them, you know, smell it a million miles away.
They smell the disingenuineness of it.
They smell the insincerity of it.
They smell that we're trying to convince ourselves while we're talking to them.
And that just didn't work.
So anyway, that's a shockingly powerful.
Okay.
Yeah.
The change and how you see them and who they are to you.
So speak.
Okay.
Well, um, that's good.
Change yourself.
How you see them.
Yeah, because I mean, I really, I mean, you know, I hope I'm right, but I feel
like the Lord had put us together for a reason and, um, and, um, you know,
has, has a reason for us to be together.
And I mean, and I remember I used to even, I had this book because, um,
what was it called?
It was about, I forget.
Well, when I found out like the pilgrims that came over to the U S they stopped
and they were in Holland where my ancestors are from, and there's a town
with my last name, and I just found out like four years ago or three years ago
that they stopped in that town.
And I got to go visit that town with my dad.
I got to go to Holland and they, the pilgrim stayed in the town of Leiden
lighted and got prepared to come to the U S.
And then I found out some of my ancestors that had money started that town of
Leiden started the university of Leiden.
Yeah.
And so when I found out that pilgrims were there and then Ken was, he's Spanish
and he really knows a lot of his history.
And so I had this book about the Spanish and, and the pilgrims.
And anyway, so I used to just speak this really powerful thing over him.
I'm kind of joking, but in a way, but I really wasn't joking because I saw in
him something that I didn't, you know, I saw him as, I don't know this, I'd have
to think about now what I'd say, but, um, but, but yeah, it's kind of like, like
you said, you have to see them, but then, then I think I switched to more of, to
a trying to make it, trying to make it work.
But the truth is, you know, and then, but then Ken, there's something about him
too, that he's always looking up.
He's got a hunger for net for natural knowledge.
I mean, he, uh, he always wanted, he always wants to know what's going on
everywhere in the world and he's, and he's really smart.
Um, and he knows a lot about a lot of things, but it's like his hunger.
And I know the Lord had him switching like, like away from that film festival.
It's just the morals and stuff of it anymore.
And he put his kids in like private schools after nine 11 and he, there's
something deep, there's a deep well in him, but it's kind of like, he's not,
you know, and, and we pray together and, uh, but he is, you know, he, and he
let me pray for him when we got back together to kind of get baptized in the
spirit and he was genuine about it, but he didn't, and I feel like he got, he
really gets, he's, he's filled, but he didn't start speaking in tongues or
anything, you know, did I lose you?
I'm sorry.
No, I was trying to hit the volume and I accidentally hit the video button.
I was like, Oh no, did I lose there?
No, I'm here.
I'm just trying to hit the volume.
Yeah, it's almost, yeah.
You know, he was real genuine there when we got back together and wanting to do
things, but then it just kind of seems like it goes back to same old, you know?
Um, so I've just had to kind of wade through all this.
Meanwhile, though, I'm getting healing and that's the good part.
It's just knowing how to navigate this.
And it's like, Lord, did I really hear you?
Or do I really hear you that I'm really supposed to work on this?
Cause you know, um, you know, and it's, it's just, it is kind of hard because
now you put some more things to it that I hadn't seen.
You know, and then he has that close, close relationship with his children, because he it's kind of his culture and he had moved them back in with him when his wife got sick with cancer.
And plus he brought them all here from New Mexico where he was from years back so I mean they're pretty, they're pretty intertwined you know I mean like, so, and I know that you know and I've had to.
I've had to. And I love them, you know, or. Yeah. So anyway, just any any more suggestions you have about navigating this, and that, you know how he's feeling all of this like okay well I don't know a few different things.
I was talking to someone else about this again on is about because they were asking about relationships with, like, family and stuff like that, and I was recommending I say what you want to what, because this goes with anyone any just relationships
with people but the reason I mentioned that it was family is because obviously that's just ultra emotional, you know, can I say, can I say one thing.
Yeah, even and even my and I and I shouldn't go back to this but my naturopathic doctor she goes oh gosh Karen when I told her about kids she goes, he is Spanish and he's got Native American and he's got so you know Sephardic Jew and she said,
all of those heritages I think all three are so intertwined with family sometimes to an unrighteousness.
And so, so anyway so so there's just.
Yeah, so it just feels like sometimes actually a lot to overcome all my stuff and all this stuff and it's kind of like, you know, and it's like we just kind of feel like we're in, it feels to me like we're kind of two different worlds because I'm always, you know, I'm
always listening to, you know, just, you know, and he doesn't mind listening to stuff I listened to and and and Dale Shannon I do you know some ascension, some ascension groups and and and I'm getting healing and I'm always, he doesn't but he doesn't really
he doesn't really get into it like he did for a while and then he doesn't now. So that's the other thing but, and he started going back to a church that he used to go to when I met him which is a pretty good church, but then sometimes he.
It's, it's kind of early and it's all the way in Columbia, and sometimes one morning, he was here and he got up and he just left.
I thought we were going together, and I go where'd you go and he goes well, you weren't ready.
I mean he does these things I'm like, I was five minutes away from being ready in the bathroom.
Well go just jump in the car and come on up, and I'm like, he just does some.
So I'm just trying to figure out does he just need to be going to church by himself for a while maybe, maybe he needs that. So I'm trying so anyway.
Now you go ahead.
So, you know, it's just again that whole lack of like not needing or needing no pressure, and then needing you, you know, his need for you to be his choice, like, as opposed to an obligation, and by an obligation meaning emotion I'm talking about an emotional
obligation like okay what does that have to do whatever. And that's just something that he has to do because it can be someone, it can be his response to life, thinking that he always emotionally obligated to things as opposed to making it his potential choice.
And that's just something he has to work through. But, you know, on his side, but the thing is that this is just with people in general, but obviously people usually talk about it with husbands and wives on the wife side, and specifically is, and this is what I was
recommending to this to this lady said hey you know what if you're trying to develop your relationship with your family members or heal it or whatever.
What you want to do is you want to make sure to enjoy you enjoy your life in, you know, own yourself decide what do I want to do what sounds fun to me.
And then invite people to join you in it. Just have kind of like this, this openness where people are welcome, and people are welcome to join you doing it and to offer, you know, and invite them to do it intentionally or whatever and if they don't look
and then go off and because that especially, you know, specifically talking between men and women is very attractive, where one's just doing her thing.
And then the guys like, well, you know, I want to be with her and you know just like she looks like she's having fun, as opposed to a woman who's like, Okay, what can we do together and he's always do something together and that well then that feels that feels stifling.
I'm not saying that you're doing that. I'm just saying that that's the extreme version, but with someone who's wounded in that area that even normal interaction can feel stifling, because they're hypersensitive to it and they've been wounded by it so.
So anyway, so my point is that it's just, I don't know.
No, but it sounds like all of this is like from not all of this, but like so much of it's like the intensity of it of his responses is just based off of his own.
Just experience, and so the slightest little reminder can set off, you know we all do we all have our own issues with.
You know, in areas where we struggle with that, so what I recommend I recommended that for her for her family and I would you know that she said that there was a major turnaround.
With multiple family members, because she just chose to oh well, I can tell you who it is because she mentioned it on a on a.
On a on her journey share it was we're not remember I don't know if you got to hear her most recent one where she said that she left the fan she you know left visiting her family.
And she said she said, oh my word she said this was my relationship with my with my niece, and this is what I did I just chose to enjoy myself, I decided, I wanted to make a cake.
And so, instead of me thinking like Oh, what can I do with my what can I do with my niece what will be fun for her okay.
You know hey do you want to do a cake and all she doesn't want to do a cake with me or whatever she said, instead, I thought, what do I want to do, I want to make a cake.
And i'll invite her to do it with me video whether or not she does it I still we're going to make a cake, because I want to make it.
that's what I want to do to enjoy me enjoy life to whatever and then it ended up that her niece that she'd been wanting to do stuff with wanted to do with her.
Probably because spiritually she just felt like a lack of pressure, you know she says, so we ended up having fun and then this 18 year old.
nephew of hers that she mentioned she's been trying to connect with him she's been telling us.
And she was able to he suddenly brought her in you know to his to his room is that hey you know you want to see the thing i'm working on.
And she said, before I know it, we start having a two hour conversation when I first was with him when I first arrived he didn't want to talk to me at all about anything.
And he was just like completely closed off, let alone about any you know about any subject and he just didn't want to interact with me at all, and now he's inviting me.
To know you know certain aspects of what's important to him in, including why he didn't why he doesn't believe in God anymore.
And why it's not following the Lord and whatever and that he would entrust his heart with her.
And, and so that's just two examples so but I told her, I said, you know just I recommend.
You know just remember own your own self own your own value, you know you're important so enjoy you that's how we act in faith God says that we are that what would we do, how would we live well i'd enjoy me.
You know, but you're still wanting that connection so that you choose you first and from you, you now, now that you own you, you now have you to offer.
hey would you like to do this with me, would you, you know so i'm going to do it as opposed to all of this pressure, whatever as hard as that is for a husband and wife.
Because you want it to you want to have you feel like it's going to actually create a disconnect like they're going to say no, I don't want to do that with you like we have it we're husband wife are supposed to like.
have connection and whatever what you're doing is you're laying a foundation.
There is no pressure, so that now he can choose to join to help you build the connection, instead of it being on your shoulders to work.
To always trying to provide the connection what you do is you provide a connection opportunity and that he as the man can take the initiative.
and join if he wants to so anyway if that'll if you think that that might help and as an idea.
that's yeah that's good that's good yeah.
yeah but.
So whether you can see how to step out in faith with something that God said he said that you are who he says that you are.
And that you stand and then you stand in that and enjoy that and you delight in that and you live that and then no pressure you invite your your husband to be part of that.
And at the beginning, it will be tested you're like no, no, I don't want to do that it's like okay.
You know, because he needs to know, and so you just you just keep doing it, why, because you're choosing your life with God you're not choosing an outcome.
And a oh i'm hoping this will get Ken to do this, we can't approach people with an agenda or it will not work, they smell it a mile away because it's disingenuous.
it's not coming from the heart it's coming from an agenda we've created something that we've we've determined that we're trying to control an outcome.
And that outcome is another person and nobody wants to be an outcome, no one wants to be a project.
So anyway, it's a way that you can start acting on faith and another huge thing and i'll mention this and then we'll go is that the.
Is the most powerful thing you can do, and I know you already know this and just reminding us that you can pray.
To pray for someone I know that Ken's not your enemy, but it even works for enemies like, in other words, people that you're having an emotional.
difficulty with, if you pray over them, very seriously, pray, praying blessings
over them, not like conceptually like, oh yeah, Lord, please bless them or
whatever, no, no, very seriously.
You know, putting your, your heart and your intention into asking the Lord
to bless these particular areas, not fix them, not God, please reveal, you
know, to him, you know, his part in this or anything like that.
So when I pray to the Lord about my husband, I don't pray that
God will tell him anything specific.
I pray that Lord, would you, would you reveal truth to him?
Lord, would you heal him?
Lord, would you, whatever?
I don't, if he and I disagree on something, I don't ask the Lord to
show him that what I believe about following the Lord is the right way.
And then what he believes about following the Lord is the wrong way.
I don't, I don't do that.
I don't, I don't put.
Uh, how would you, how would you put that?
Um, uh, I don't, and is it, is it that I don't put God between me and my
husband or something like that?
I can't think of what it is, but anyway, I don't use my, um, I don't, uh, I don't.
I don't know.
It's almost the phrasing right now, but you know, so I don't do that.
I don't manipulate that way.
Right.
So anyway, is it okay to say, you know, show him truth and just show him truth.
You know, is that okay to say just Lord, show him your truth.
You know, even if it's, if it's not what it is that I thought was true, Lord,
because here's where you're, here's the point in the approach that you're
praying from is Lord bless him regardless of his connection with me.
Right.
You're praying for him without praying with the intention of desire of, of an
outcome with you and for how that's going to benefit you.
It's complete.
It's in a way, just connecting yourself as getting to benefit from.
The outcome of what God will do in his life as a result of how much
you're calling out blessing on him.
So it's that kind of, you disconnect yourself from benefiting from his
blessing that you're calling down.
Is that kind of thing?
That's how I pray to the Lord about, about my husband and stuff like that.
And so that keeps me from spiritually or emotionally manipulating things.
Right.
Just simply because I disagree with him about something or whatever.
And, you know, we all pray to Lord about that.
Well, Lord, you know, I'm hurt and Lord, what about, and I don't, I don't want to,
um, I don't want to pray any kind of like a white witchcraft prayer.
Yeah.
Where it's like, oh, I'm praying and I'm using the word God, but
I'm trying to manipulation.
Right.
You know?
So, um, uh, so anyway, I, that, that will change your heart even of things that.
And he won't be as hurt by him.
If you actually pray for him.
I mean, that's what heals our relationships and our hearts towards
our enemies and allows us to love them.
I'm not saying tend to your enemy.
I'm saying like, even in the extreme version, what God talks about in the
Bible about pray for your enemies, you know, I mean, that's what changes our
hearts towards them is by praying for them, by praying for them and being
very sincere, not praying conceptually.
Like I know.
No, very sincerely, whatever it is that you can pray, sincerely pray that.
And then the longer that you pray, the more sincere you'll be.
And the more, um, and the more that you, the more of the specific.
Types of powerful spiritual blessings should be praying over them and that
will transform you and it will transform them.
That's good.
And then the family with the family, you think just keep praying for them too.
And, and then maybe ask the Lord, ask the Lord what to do.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
The same thing.
Um, and I mean, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Exactly.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
You're going through a lot of pain and a lot of hurt and, um, but you've, uh, I
don't know, you've just made leaps and bounds and, and it looks like to me and
in healing and transforming, um, you know, over the past several weeks, I'm
so excited for you that you have that.
And I'm telling you what, you're such a blessing in the group.
Thank you so much for just who it is that you are and how much you always
love on everyone and that you have shared the tips that have helped you
because I've noticed, you know, we've, as I've called out, you know, in the
group that they've helped other people as well.
And, uh, in fact, I'm planning on doing, like I told you, I'm
planning on doing the journal thing.
And, um, and part of what I'm planning to include in that is the part that you
said was so helpful for you that someone had, had told you about like, Oh, if
you're struggling to hear.
the Lord, it's easier, you can start hearing it more clearly
to start writing it down. I was like, that is a great idea. And
then you said that it helps you. And then Tammy said she started
doing it on your recommendation, started helping her. So I'm
like, this sounds like a real positive thing, a positive
exercise to include. So thank you. You're helping so many
people.
Thank you. Well, that Yeah, someone told me Yeah, that I
should teach on there or something. But it was just I
imparted to lots of people wherever I go, because it helped
me so much. That's great. Yeah, it changed my life. Really?
Yeah, that's good. 30 minute teaching. I remember the name. I
remember. Yeah, yeah. Very cool. Well, what was what was her
name? Maybe I can find the teaching. It was TBN. Linda
Makovitz. 25 years ago. Okay. Yeah, maybe we can find it. All
right. I just simplified. Yeah, yeah, there you go. I simplify
and pass it along. And yeah. Okay, well, thank you. I taught
some leaders that two months in that when I was doing celebrate
recovery. And, and yeah, it seems to be helpful. And, you
know, I'm like one of those I got to pass on what I get, you
know, yeah. I've got to flow. You know, like a river. That's
right. That'd be rare.
It's good to get to visit with you, Karen and catch up, get to
hear all the updates and celebrate all of your
transformation. Thank you. There's two conferences this
weekend and next weekend at Cedar Creek. So I'm going to get
to go spend two weekends with Cedar Creek. And probably Ken
won't come and that's fine. And he's invited to a little you
know, if he wants to come for a meeting or something, but you
know what, I'm just going to go have fun. Great. By the way,
you're going to go see some friends of Ed's and mine. Etienne
Bloom. Okay. Yeah. He officiated our wedding. Oh,
you're kidding me. Oh, how cool is that? Yeah. Okay. And yeah,
oh my gosh, that's so probably be your favorite. He's great.
Okay, I'm excited. Hey, okay. And then we get another meeting
next week. Yes. Yeah. Okay. So how's your schedule for that?
Because I might be traveling. I'm not really sure that we
might be traveling to see Etienne in Charlotte, but we're
not sure. Anyway. You can't come out here. We thought about
that. But I have a I have a conference this weekend in
Dallas. Yeah, it was actually gifted to me by one of the rest
intensive members. They had an extra ticket to this conference
and they saw that I was in Dallas. So they gifted it to me
in that kind. That is. So I was like, well, I need to honor it
be in town. Yeah. So I'm very excited. I've been wanting to do
it. But yeah. Very cool. Okay. Kate, can you send me this
recording? Yeah. So what's going to happen is I'm going to upload
it to the platform. And just like the rest intensive is a
group, there's going to be another group that's going to
just be your name, and you're the only one that'll see it. And
that's where I am uploading everybody's transformation
sessions is I'm creating their own groups like just with their
name. And that's where all their transformation sessions
are. They're private. You're the only one who has access to
them. Where will I find it under? It's on the platform. So
if you go to members.is.rest. Yeah. And then you in the before
you you know how you go to a specific place and then you see
to click on rest intensive. Instead of rest intensive next
to it. It'll say Karen Layton's. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. And you
click to open. So it's almost like a group. Okay, called
Karen Layton. That's where all of your transformation sessions
are going. Okay. Well, that Yeah, if you can get it on the
sooner you get it on the better. I'm going to listen to this one
again. Oh, good. Yes. Well, I finally got an internet right
before you right before our meeting. I got my hot spot. I'm
so grateful. Hopefully I'm right after this call was when I was
going to finally test to see if I can upload. So anyway, so so
maybe it'll be on pretty soon. Yeah. Okay. Okay. You think
about you might shoot me a little message and say I got it
uploaded because I guess I said very well. This is going to be
helpful to me. I'm so glad. Yeah, yeah. And I will. I'll
definitely let you know when it's up. I'll try to get up
here as soon as I can. You're a blessing. So are you Karen been
a delight to have in the group. Thank you so much for
everything. Thank you. Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Tomorrow.
Okay. Bye bye.