WEBVTT

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Hi. I was like speaking. I was speaking and I could, I was like, oh no, I'm muted and

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I don't.

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Like Ashlyn's not responding.

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Hi, how are you? I wasn't sure if it was this link or the others. I was like, but then I

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saw the email. So I was like, yeah, good. I have the right link.

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Yes. Yes. Yeah. That's the benefit of that, of that link is it gives everyone a private

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like a zoom link just for that, just for that call. So how are you? I know we saw each other

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yesterday. It's weird seeing each other so often.

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I'm good. I, it started snowing today. So yeah, that was fun. But happy, happy Women's

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Day international.

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I didn't know.

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Yeah. There was a massive parade here today and it's, you know, we had started the day

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with, yeah. So we had a breakfast at our workplace with like CEO speaker from another company

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that came and panel discussions and networking and yeah. So it's a, it's massive campaigns

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every, every March 8th.

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March 8th. Okay. I had no idea. It sounds that now the place that I used to work at,

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you know, FedEx, the company FedEx. So I used to work at FedEx office and they would, they

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would always mark holidays like this, you know, like Women's Day or, you know, Indigenous

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People's Day that politically, you know, you know, it's, it's real popular to, to,

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you know, acknowledge those they, that society feels it's gotten bad shacked. Anyway. So

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yeah. So that's the, that's how I knew about days is like, well, what day is today? You

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know, it's like, I have no idea. So, oh, and then there was something yesterday. What was

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it? Oh, oh, I know. Someone said that, yes, that yesterday or the day before, oh, I think

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it was the day before yesterday was National Oreo Cookie Day. And we thought, how did we

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miss that?

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So much more important than equality and same, same paper, same work. No, I'm kidding.

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No, exactly. Exactly. That's so funny.

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I do love those though. The International Pancake Day and Waffle Day. It's the day for

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everything.

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Yes, exactly. There's, there's something, something for everything. In fact, I think

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I even Googled it once who decides that, like who decides, oh, how do you make a recognized

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holiday? Not like a government recognized, but like a, how do you make a holiday? And

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there was a company that makes the holidays that makes these national or international

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da-da-da-da-days. And I was like, well, who decided that?

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Yeah. Since I'm like some, I feel like, you know, World Mental Health Day and Women's

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Day and some are more important than others, even though there are some fun ones.

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Yeah, yeah, exactly. There's definitely some fun ones. But anyway, so how are you doing?

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Yeah, I'm good. Yeah. That's been part of the thing with my work is that I have to like

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look into all the different things to be able to make like something on social media for

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it. So that's why I'm like looking at all these different, I mean, some days like this

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is a massive deal here, but like the Women's Day, but then I saw all of like all the other

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Hamburger Day and I don't know, like a weird slide. Yeah. No, I mean, I feel like it's

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like, I'm not going to say a broken record, but I feel like I keep repeating myself because

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it's like the same three things. So I think like generally I'm doing good. I'm just kind

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of trying to figure out. I had dinner with somebody today and then as we were walking,

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I'm like, oh yeah, I think I'm going to apply for this position again with City Hall, the

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one I talked about yesterday. And she's like, oh yeah, you should definitely apply, you

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know, because she works there herself. She's like, I think you'll find it to be a lot more

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fun and you know, it's busy and it's, you know, and I'm like, yeah, I just don't really

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know if God wants me, you know, where I'm at. And then she's like, well, do you think

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it really matters that much to God where you are? And I'm like, wait, like, I'm like, well,

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maybe not. She's like, don't you think God just wants you?

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to have fun. And I'm like, probably. I mean, well, I don't

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know. So I think sometimes yes, and then sometimes you're placed

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somewhere for like, we've been talking about for whatever

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reason to be equipped or for a certain assignment or for a

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specific person or you know what I mean? So yeah. Yeah. So I

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don't know if that so I feel like my kind of I feel like

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there's a root thing, one massive one that's always been

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there, obviously, is the weight. And then it's the being

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discontent with work. And then, I mean, I feel with being

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single, like I enjoy my life, I have fun. And like, I was in a

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really bad relationship where that like, I called up a

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wedding six weeks before I was supposed to be married. And

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like, um, and I'm like, I would rather be alone, happy alone

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than unhappy. Yeah, in the relationship, you know, so I

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feel like I've landed in that in enjoying my life, obviously,

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like you were single for a long time, you know, sometimes

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holidays comes up, and it's like, Oh, this is obviously

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this desire to be two is there. So I think with that, too, I'm

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like, where do you just because when do you I think the

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difference of like, letting something go and stop fighting

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for it, but still hoping for it. You know what I mean? So I feel

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like with the singleness, I feel like that's a different thing.

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But with the weight and with the work, that might be the same

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route. I don't know, like the same. I feel like there's like

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something rooted in me, or there's something where it's

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just, obviously, is recurring, you know, like, I was being

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really good. So I was like, losing weight, like it was

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really, I felt like I did it with God, you know, and it was

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quite effortlessly. But then, now that my dad passed away, and

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then all of a sudden, I started, you know, spiraling out, and

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they're like, ah, there's something here that makes me go

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back to it for comfort, and love and protection. And so I

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don't know what that is, and why it's so because even when I was,

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quote, like good before I felt like I hit a plateau. And I

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remember when I hit that plateau, because coming up until

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that point, I started losing weight, and all of a sudden, all

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these emotions came up in me. And I started freaking out. And

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I was talking to my friend, Caitlin, who lives in Austin,

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and she's like, Oh, well, and that makes sense. Because it's

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like, your emotions doesn't have anywhere to hide anymore, because

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you physically built up a wall with like extra weight. And now

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that you're dropping it, it's like, you either have to deal

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with the emotions, or you have to, like, eat and like, protect

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yourself again, so they have somewhere to hide again. And

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then I felt like I was dealing with them. And and I had still

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like, I think, like, I don't do pounds, but 10 kilos, I think

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that's 20 pounds, like, for my ideal wanted to be. And I just

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couldn't get and then I was like, Oh, I can't seem to like

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move forward, you know, and it was just annoying me. And I felt

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like I think this has something to do with my dad, like there

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were some unresolved issues, there's something that I don't

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want to touch or that I don't, I'm not ready to like, feel or I

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don't know what it was, but I just couldn't seem to move past

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that. Anyway, so when he passed away, I naturally thought, Wow,

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now I'm going to drop these, you know, 20 pounds easy as

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that, because now you know, and then the opposite happens. I

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like gain like, you know, not 20 pounds, but at least like 10,

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you know, and I'm like, Oh, what is this? So that's frustrating,

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obviously, because then you don't feel well and you know, so

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that that is. Yeah. So I feel like of things taking up. Yeah.

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It's, it's, yeah. I think those are my main reoccurring things.

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And then I've loved like being part of this community, because

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I don't have a local church here anymore that I really, yeah, no,

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I have, I have been going to one, but I don't, I don't know, I

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can't, since being in the States, and like I was with

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Expression 51, 58, I was with a lot with Heidi Baker and Ira.

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is all of this. And it's like, I can't find it sounds weird. I

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feel like there I went to church and I got both spiritually fed,

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but also I found like people that I wanted to hang out with

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that we kind of have. And here I feel like why am I going I'm

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going here to like, listen to a message that isn't really

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inspiring. And I don't hang out with any of these people. And we

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don't have the same calling, you know, besides the big calling.

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Yeah, so I kind of Yeah, I've kind of just been doing church

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online with people. Yeah. So I'm missing that too. But it's

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Yeah. So I feel like all of that. It's like, I'm like, part

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of me feels like I'm just in the wrong space. You know, like

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where I'm like, I'm just kind of waiting to be somewhere else.

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And that's why I can't really. But then at the same time, I'm

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like, Oh, I kind of like it here as well. I would just enjoy more

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freedom to travel. So yeah, I mean, that was that was a lot.

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But that was, I just I think my thing is, I don't really know

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which one to start with. I'm like, I'm gonna have to have more

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transformational sessions with actually. I'm like, I need to

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start somewhere. So I thought I'm like, Oh, I think I'm gonna

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start with the weight thing. But now I just wanted to tell you

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kind of everything. And then I don't know, then we'll see where

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the Holy Spirit leads and what happens. But yeah, yeah, right.

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I'm so I don't, I don't know. If you feel where we should go from

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there.

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Well, to start with where, you know, the stuff that I've talked

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about, like with the with losing weight in rest and like some

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things to help to start on that journey. In other words, to be

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making to change in ourselves so that it we we approach it from a

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completely new foundation, like in other words, so that things

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will finally stick so that when we lose weight, it finally stays

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off. Because we've dealt with the because we no longer because

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we're removing our reason for gaining weight. So therefore, we

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start losing it. And then when we get to where we want, we just

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stay there because there it we no longer need or look to the

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feed the eating or the extra weight to provide us for

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something that we already have. Yeah, we're no longer in lack in

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that area and looking to it to fill us. So that's the whole

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perspective and approach to which and purpose for which I

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talked about the losing weight from place of rest is in like,

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okay, not not focusing so much on the dieting on the exercise,

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but first and foremost, focusing on like, being okay between you

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and God, and then being that for yourself, like what God says he

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is to you, you be that to your soul and your body. So and then

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love and accept it fully where it is without requiring it to

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ever change. So So have you been able to step into any of that

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that's been helpful?

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I'm like, yes, I know. And that's so that's where I feel

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like it makes so much sense when you talk about it. But then I'm

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like, still can't grasp it. So I feel like that's also one of the

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things where I'm like, have so many things where I'm like, oh,

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in theory, this makes so much sense. And I'm like, I just kind

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of need to understand it. So I can experience it kind of like

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when you when I first heard you talk about body, soul and

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spirit. I'm like, it wasn't that I hadn't heard it before. But

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all of a sudden, it just clicked. I'm like, Oh, I get it.

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Like now I get it. I guess he's talking about, you know, and I'm

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like, this makes so much sense. And so I've been trying and I

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don't. Yeah, so I've been trying. So I've been like, what

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I've been trying to do are some different things. Because one of

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the things we talked about is so now I actually ordered a book

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where it's like, it's called 15 minutes fit, which is she just

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made a book where it's like 15 minute exercises. And then it's

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like, breakfast, lunch and dinner that just takes 15

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minutes to make. Because I just need something that's simple,

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just in the sense about something. Sometimes you still

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need the discipline, but you want to do it from a place of

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rest. Yeah, correct. So that is something that came to me where

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I'm like, Okay, well, I'm gonna do that. Because I think if I

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keep my blood sugars, you know,

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even then I won't have the sugar cravings. So that's on a practical note on, on the whole

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trying to. So then I've been trying to speak to my body where I have been speaking to my body,

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where I'm just like looking at myself in the mirror and be like, like, Oh, I love you body.

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Like, I thank you. Like, thank you for, you know, carrying me and protecting me and traveling with

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me and just like for everything you've done. And I'm like, and then I've just been like,

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but you know, like you don't have to protect me anymore. Cause God protects me. Like you don't

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need to be loved because God loves you. And like, you don't need, but I don't know if that's the

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right way. Cause I haven't really. Yeah. So I'm it's a weird place. Cause it's like, I do feel

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okay, but then I also don't feel okay. So that's what I've been doing. And I'm like,

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so I want to say, I don't stress about it, but I do, you know, cause I still go on the scale and

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I'm like, Oh, shoots. Like I still haven't lost weight, you know? Or I'm like, Oh, so I still

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am in resistance. I'm still doing these like things that I'm, you know, or I'll look back

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at pictures and I'm like, ah, shoot. It's like, I want to go back to that, you know? Like, yeah.

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Yeah. So part of it is, um, is a struggle with that disassociating from ourselves or

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disassociating from a part of ourselves. It's like the part of ourselves that's eating or the

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part of ourselves that has this much weight or, or separating who it is that you are in spirit

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from the fact that you also have a body and us wanting to disassociate and like, okay,

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this is the good part of me. This is the bad part of me. This is the part that's obeying this part

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that isn't, this is the part, this is, this is the, this is the parent. This is the problem child,

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you know? And there's, there's a subconscious disassociation that we have with it. Um, and

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just connection and what's important. And this is what I was talking about where we want to like,

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and the way I phrase it is like you fully accept yourself and fully accept your, your connection

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with your, of each of your parts to be your entire self instead of like separating or

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segregating a part of it until it can, until it can prove worthy of being part of the rest of the

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family, you know, whatever. And so it's, uh, that's what I always try to kind of, um, articulate when

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I say, you know, accepting ourselves is to not disassociate or to disconnect or to stick in time

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out, or to consider even in our own minds or emotions, that aspect of ourselves to be a problem.

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It stopped thinking of ourselves or an aspect of ourselves as a problem. Like, Oh, well, I I'm

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eating more than I want to, my body is eating more than I want to, or I am wanting food, whether or

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not I let myself have it, I'm wanting it. And then to, for it's a, so it's a problem. It's

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creating a problem for us is what I mean. If we're thinking of that aspect of ourselves as a problem.

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So we're, we have to fully accept ourselves, every aspect of ourselves, even the part of us that

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wants to eat, even the part of us that's hurt, even the part of us that's scared, the part of

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us that we call our body, you know, whatever, and stop thinking of any of it as a problem,

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stop considering it. It's not just thinking of it as if we're trying to consider is if we're

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trying to like convince ourselves otherwise, because again, that whole thing of like trying

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to convince ourselves just ultimately just doesn't work. What we're having to do is we're just having

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to choose that, that all of those things are not a problem because that we really are. Okay.

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Yeah. Because I don't know how prep. So for instance today, so I, I went to work and had

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that break. So I didn't eat how I wanted to like this morning or whatever, but it was still,

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it was still okay. Went to dinner with people have like a salad and then I sit and talk. So

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these are former colleagues. And then I meet some other friends after. So I'm talking about things

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in my life where, you know, things that are chaotic, like the new job or I, I think I read

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somewhere where it said, Oh, you're not lacy. You're in freeze mode. They're like, if you feel

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yourself just like going on the couch, scrolling through Instagram, it's like, you're actually,

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you're actually not lacy. It's your body is in a freeze mode and you need to like

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show it that it's safe. And I'm like, Oh my goodness. I bet you that is what's going on.

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Cause I've had this like trauma with my dad passing away and I'm kind of waiting on a possible trial.

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that is coming up. And then it's like this chaos at work. And

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then I can feel like, you know, like you feel if anything is

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out of the ordinary, I kind of just like freeze up, you know,

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and I'm like, Ah, so I'm like, I bet you that's what's happening.

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So I don't know. So then I go and I'm social and all of this

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on my way home. It's snowing. I don't like that. I want it to be

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spring. And then I'm like, all I want is candy. So I know I'm

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not supposed to, you know, but then I go buy it. And this is

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what I always do. So I go buy the candy or I do this. And I'm

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like, now I just want to sit on the couch and eat candy and

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watch a movie. You know what I mean? And it's, it's the self

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soothing thing. And I'm like, and part of it can be that it's

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just like a bad habit. It would, I could do the same. If I've

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been to the chiropractor, I noticed that because you know,

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sometimes if they crack things open, it's like something

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that's been stored in your body. Yeah. Times I was like, Oh my

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goodness, every time I've done this, I go buy candy. So it's

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kind of like they crack something open and I sell candy.

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Yeah. And I don't know how, how to embrace and not think of that

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as a prop. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know how, like,

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how, how would I do that?

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So, okay, so that was really insightful. So I mean, because

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it's, it's usually the issue anyway, but still, you know,

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try to like, kind of like, I don't know, investigate and see

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if like, maybe something else is going on, you know, but that

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another main reason that we eat is if we feel like our lives are

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not just out of control, but they are not our own. Like,

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you're not doing what you want to do. You're not getting to

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live how you want to live. You're not getting you feel

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victim to not being able and I'm not declaring this over you. I'm

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just saying that, you know, I'm just describing this person over

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here. And so you can decide if that's you.

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It sounds very much like me, because that is one of the

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things where I'm like, I specifically see I get heavier.

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And I'm like, Oh, I know, I'm not okay, because that's when I

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eat. And it's exactly what you're describing. It's this

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Yeah, just content thing.

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Yeah, it's, you know, and and feel a bit victim to just

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fascinating that we would use this, that that it would follow

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this, this phrasing, but we feel victim to God's dictation. And

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tyranny is what we feel. And we all know in our in our heads

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that that's not how we're supposed to feel. That's not

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what God says. But that is how we're reacting. We're reacting

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is that God is making me do this. And I don't want to, like

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an order or making me meaning like, well, in order to be

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obedient, this is what I have to do. So I'm going to make myself

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be obedient. And so that still feels like a victim, like I have

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to do something in order for God and I to be okay, in order

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for God to bless me in order for me to have any hope of any

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positive gift from the Lord, eventually, I just have to

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endure long enough. And you'll never get to the end of it. I'll

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tell you that. That's what drove me eventually to giving up

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everything. And you remember my testimony that I gave at the

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beginning of the recording, you know, the inner is rest to

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teachings. And I said, Hey, here's my testimony. And I just

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said, I came to the end, because I realized that in one

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of the ways that I explained it was, I had just I had lasted so

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long, because I thought if I endured long enough, if I

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sacrificed myself, you know, as many times as you know, as I

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could possibly figure out how to do, then eventually God would

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reward me. So and, and the problem is that that that that

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is founded in the belief that God isn't good. It doesn't mean

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that, when God that, that God is good. And so therefore, you

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know, if our lives are hard, well, that's just weird, because

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your life is supposed to be easy. And everything's supposed

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to be wonderful. And it's just not true. But the thing is that

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when that God, we will find just like Jesus did that no matter

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how hard that our lives are, in other words, the things that we

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have to overcome, the challenges that we experience our

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relationships with other people, we will that God, that God being

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good, like our faith and the fact that God is good. And the

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reality that we experience

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of God being good in our lives,

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means that even though we're going through

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all of these different aspects of pain,

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we don't connect them

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as saying anything about God and his goodness.

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They're completely disconnected.

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They're completely unrelated.

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As opposed to right now, we're relating them.

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Relating, well, this is hard,

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and therefore God isn't good,

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and therefore I don't feel safe,

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and therefore I felt like he's always expecting

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and needing and requiring yet one more thing from me.

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And so what changed for me is when I,

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because I couldn't disassociate God,

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I was struggling to disassociate God from,

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and who he said that he was,

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and my belief in that he really was that,

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like he was good, he was loved, or whatever.

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I was having a hard time disconnecting

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who he says that he was from what was happening to me.

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I kept associating them.

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And so what I had, so that's what happened,

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what changed everything when I was laying there in bed,

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and I just, and I thought, okay,

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what ultimately deep down is the problem?

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Deep down, I don't feel loved by God.

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Generally speaking,

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I always felt like I had God's attention.

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In fact, it bothered me so much

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that I had so much of God's attention

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because I felt that I couldn't ever,

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I could never get a break.

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I always felt the very heavy hand of God's attention,

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and it was exhausting.

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So anyway, the thing that I struggled with

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is not that God doesn't know me.

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It was more the fact that God,

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I don't feel loved by God.

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I feel that he's always watching me.

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He's, in fact, he's very vigilant about it.

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And he's always needing me to do something else,

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and he's always paying attention to this.

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And okay, well, Ashley, I gotta correct you over here,

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and gotta correct you over here, and gotta watch this.

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And I'm like, I just want a bit of a break.

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So I thought, okay, ultimately,

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my issue isn't that I don't feel that God doesn't,

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I don't have God's attention.

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It's that I don't feel that he loves me,

358
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that he has, that any of his goodness is towards me.

359
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I believed in general that God was good.

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I didn't believe that any of his goodness

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was focused on me at all.

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So that's why it made such a difference

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when I thought, okay, since I can't,

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God, I can't experience your love.

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I don't feel your love, why?

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Because I was always looking at my life.

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I was always looking at everything that was happening to me,

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or what it was filled with, or whatever.

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And I'm just like, see, God, it's just not good,

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and you just don't love me.

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And if you love me, I would be happier.

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I would feel better, I would, whatever.

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So that's why I was struggling so much,

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and I thought, okay, well, but God says

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that he really is love, and he really does love me.

376
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So what's the one thing I haven't tried?

377
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I thought, I haven't decided.

378
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I kept waiting to be convinced.

379
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I kept waiting to experience it,

380
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kept waiting to experience his goodness, experience his love,

381
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but that was the problem.

382
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It wasn't that I wasn't experiencing his goodness and love,

383
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it's that I couldn't recognize it when it happened.

384
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So I never saw it.

385
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It doesn't mean that it wasn't there.

386
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It means I couldn't see it.

387
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So, and it's because you can't see something

388
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that you haven't believed in first.

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Your belief will then cause it to reveal itself.

390
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It's very backwards from how we want things to be,

391
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but it's the way that it's set up,

392
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and quite honestly, it's because it's more of a treasure

393
00:28:31.840 --> 00:28:35.640
and more valuable than we've given it credit for.

394
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The most valuable things are the things that are hidden

395
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and are revealed after we choose them

396
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and believe them unconditionally.

397
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So that changed everything for me.

398
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I kept wanting to experience God in a different,

399
00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:51.480
in all the ways that he described, and I just wasn't.

400
00:28:51.480 --> 00:28:53.360
So I finally had to, and again,

401
00:28:53.360 --> 00:28:57.880
is because I was always connecting and associating God

402
00:28:57.880 --> 00:29:01.360
and his character as being described or identified by

403
00:29:01.360 --> 00:29:04.680
or connected to, related to what happened to me.

404
00:29:04.680 --> 00:29:07.560
And that's why it was such a big deal when I told God,

405
00:29:07.560 --> 00:29:11.920
when I did the, when I just gave him my ultimate choice,

406
00:29:11.920 --> 00:29:16.000
and I told him, Lord, I choose you over my lifestyle.

407
00:29:16.000 --> 00:29:19.800
In other words, how I live and what happens

408
00:29:19.800 --> 00:29:22.160
and how much money I have and how my relationships go

409
00:29:22.160 --> 00:29:24.040
and whether or not you're going to force me

410
00:29:24.040 --> 00:29:25.560
to go back to business, you know,

411
00:29:25.560 --> 00:29:28.160
and I really don't want to, you know.

412
00:29:28.160 --> 00:29:30.800
And all of that, because I was like,

413
00:29:30.800 --> 00:29:32.480
I wanted more freedom than I thought

414
00:29:32.480 --> 00:29:34.560
that I could have there, blah, blah, blah.

415
00:29:34.560 --> 00:29:36.520
And I gave all of that up.

416
00:29:36.520 --> 00:29:40.840
And I said, God, I choose you over how my life happens

417
00:29:40.840 --> 00:29:42.280
and over what happens in my life.

418
00:29:42.280 --> 00:29:47.280
So I began to disassociate God from my life.

419
00:29:47.520 --> 00:29:50.280
And because they were disassociated, because I chose to,

420
00:29:50.280 --> 00:29:52.400
I chose to break that connection.

421
00:29:52.400 --> 00:29:55.880
I chose that God was completely unrelated,

422
00:29:55.880 --> 00:29:58.080
so to speak, like who he was as character,

423
00:29:58.080 --> 00:30:00.480
completely unrelated from my life.

424
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:08.320
what happened. And so, and, in other words, that what happened couldn't describe him. Yes,

425
00:30:08.320 --> 00:30:17.200
there's fruit. Yes, there's manifestation of his character and whatever. But I couldn't look at

426
00:30:17.200 --> 00:30:23.120
these things and use them to describe God or to explain. And that's the disconnect that I'm saying

427
00:30:23.120 --> 00:30:29.440
is made, is that it can't ever go this way. It can only go this way, you know, from heaven into

428
00:30:29.440 --> 00:30:34.880
earth, that God creates things, not that it describes God. So anyway, the thing is, though,

429
00:30:34.880 --> 00:30:40.640
I couldn't understand all of that. Then I was too emotional. And I just, and I just severed

430
00:30:40.640 --> 00:30:45.920
the connection between them. And I chose God and I gave up my lifestyle, completely gave it up.

431
00:30:46.960 --> 00:30:54.640
Um, and I like how, because I understand how I can be like, okay, God, I choose you. I remember

432
00:30:54.640 --> 00:31:00.320
Renata, and I was talking about this. And she said, Oh, oh, she said, she mentioned, I should

433
00:31:00.320 --> 00:31:05.600
probably ask you about that. Actually, she said, Oh, Annette, I feel like there's something that's

434
00:31:05.600 --> 00:31:12.480
always missing in your life. And she's like, I think maybe she's like, I feel like you're

435
00:31:12.480 --> 00:31:17.280
missing part of your salvation. And I'm like, I don't understand why. And that's because

436
00:31:17.280 --> 00:31:23.600
I was only baptized as a baby. And I'm like, I think that's okay. Like I've been around like

437
00:31:23.600 --> 00:31:28.000
Heidi and like all these people. And I've been like, okay, God, if you want to like,

438
00:31:28.880 --> 00:31:34.400
if it's important that I'm baptized as an adult, like just like accommodate it. And I like do it,

439
00:31:34.400 --> 00:31:40.320
you know, like I've been in so many, it's just never happened. So it's not like a resistance

440
00:31:40.320 --> 00:31:45.520
towards it. I remember I was in Bethel and with one of the ministers and I was like, Oh, hey,

441
00:31:45.520 --> 00:31:50.240
maybe you should just baptize me again. This is when I was like, rededicating my life. And he was

442
00:31:50.240 --> 00:31:54.320
like, aren't you baptized as a baby? And I was like, yeah. And he's like, well, we don't baptize

443
00:31:54.320 --> 00:31:59.600
people twice. And I'm like, okay, that was up the minister from their church I normally go to.

444
00:32:00.320 --> 00:32:04.800
So it's just never happened. So I was like, Oh, well, does that matter? You know what I mean?

445
00:32:04.800 --> 00:32:10.640
Like in the whole, like, personally, I don't think so. But I'm like, I'm not the theologian. So

446
00:32:11.280 --> 00:32:17.280
I don't know. So I'm like, Oh, yeah. Because we've been talking about that in the sense of

447
00:32:17.280 --> 00:32:23.040
like feeling God's love, or, because I think it's interesting, everything you're saying now,

448
00:32:23.040 --> 00:32:29.040
and I'm like, Oh, I feel like I can be like, okay, God, I just really want it. Like, I will

449
00:32:29.040 --> 00:32:35.360
shoot like, it's really helpful. Like, okay, I will choose you over anything. And I mean,

450
00:32:35.360 --> 00:32:39.360
I have heard you say it before. And I think I just have to remind myself

451
00:32:42.160 --> 00:32:46.000
is how I'm thinking about it's kind of like when you forgive someone, it's like you don't

452
00:32:46.000 --> 00:32:50.640
necessarily feel it straight away. But you just like continue to say it until something shifts.

453
00:32:51.760 --> 00:32:58.080
And so I think that's how I would go about this. It's just like, regardless of what I look like,

454
00:32:58.080 --> 00:33:03.520
what I weigh, if I'm single, if I'm in this job, if I'm in whatever, like do whatever,

455
00:33:04.080 --> 00:33:09.920
I think I would just do that up until something shifts. I think my fear then is,

456
00:33:10.720 --> 00:33:18.240
oh, nothing's gonna happen, because I don't do it. Or I don't put my faith, you know, because

457
00:33:18.240 --> 00:33:22.400
people are like, Oh, faith is spilled risk, or, you know, like, you need to like,

458
00:33:23.520 --> 00:33:29.120
envision something, and then go for it and make plans to do it, you know, so

459
00:33:31.600 --> 00:33:38.960
I think I'm kind of so two parts in that I'm like, Yes, I can what I said, not like what you said,

460
00:33:38.960 --> 00:33:45.280
I'm like, I can see how I can do. I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, like I lay my life

461
00:33:45.280 --> 00:33:51.680
down, like I trust you until I like something shifts. But my fear would be those two things,

462
00:33:51.680 --> 00:33:58.080
like, Oh, am I missing something in my salvation, holding it back? And then am I

463
00:34:00.640 --> 00:34:07.600
is me? Is that like trying to take back control in the whole like, not like being afraid nothing

464
00:34:07.600 --> 00:34:13.760
will happen? You know what I mean? Because I, I feel like it's right to give it up so many times.

465
00:34:13.760 --> 00:34:18.400
I think you've talked about this before, too. But I feel like I've tried to give it up so many times,

466
00:34:18.400 --> 00:34:23.440
and I'm still stuck in the same place, like, weighing the same in like a job, I don't like

467
00:34:23.440 --> 00:34:30.159
blah, blah, blah. And so I'm just like, I just want to like, get it and have that experience

468
00:34:30.159 --> 00:34:36.960
where it's like, Oh, like you say, like, Oh, I fully chose this and then life transformed,

469
00:34:36.960 --> 00:34:42.480
you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, for one thing, I don't believe that you're missing

470
00:34:42.480 --> 00:34:48.480
any part of your salvation. Salvation is very simple. Honestly, it's, it's, it's literally one

471
00:34:48.480 --> 00:34:54.880
of the most simple things in existence, if not the most simple is you in in from, you know,

472
00:34:54.880 --> 00:34:59.840
what it appears to me in the spirit. It's already happened. You've already done it. It's all good.

473
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:06.400
You know, if you just choose that God is that, um, that God is, says, yes, you

474
00:35:06.400 --> 00:35:10.200
know, that, that Jesus really is the son of God, you know, that he died for you,

475
00:35:10.200 --> 00:35:15.040
that he paid for everything so that there's literally nothing left for you to

476
00:35:15.040 --> 00:35:15.720
pay for.

477
00:35:16.240 --> 00:35:20.560
And, you know, I believe you really did believe that you really did choose that,

478
00:35:20.600 --> 00:35:24.600
even if, quite honestly, let's just be honest when we choose that sometimes we

479
00:35:24.600 --> 00:35:26.960
really don't fully know what it is that we're choosing.

480
00:35:26.960 --> 00:35:31.520
And I believe God accepts it, you know, cause we're saying that we're doing it.

481
00:35:31.560 --> 00:35:33.240
We're, we're putting ourselves in that position.

482
00:35:33.240 --> 00:35:34.320
I was four.

483
00:35:34.320 --> 00:35:35.960
How much do you understand it for?

484
00:35:35.960 --> 00:35:40.120
I mean, seriously, you know, but I bet I don't question that that's

485
00:35:40.120 --> 00:35:41.720
when I became a question.

486
00:35:42.000 --> 00:35:45.520
Now I did for a long time, you know, until I was about, I don't know.

487
00:35:45.960 --> 00:35:50.520
I don't know how old I was when I finally stopped doubting that I could lose my

488
00:35:50.520 --> 00:35:53.080
salvation at any moment, you know, whatever.

489
00:35:53.080 --> 00:35:57.280
I don't remember cause I was one of those people that just, cause I was also

490
00:35:57.280 --> 00:36:04.320
raised it with a, um, with a curriculum that, that talked about, I don't think

491
00:36:04.320 --> 00:36:08.520
that they, they didn't talk about losing your salvation, but they, that, cause

492
00:36:08.520 --> 00:36:13.000
they didn't believe that you could, but they would talk as they would talk as if

493
00:36:13.000 --> 00:36:18.120
you could, so they preached adamantly against it, but they would always talk

494
00:36:18.120 --> 00:36:21.560
about like, as if you should be afraid that at any moment, if you're not in

495
00:36:21.560 --> 00:36:26.960
obedience, well, then that, that it means you weren't really saved ever.

496
00:36:27.200 --> 00:36:30.480
So they teach you to always doubt yourself.

497
00:36:30.480 --> 00:36:31.520
It's like, that's exhausting.

498
00:36:31.520 --> 00:36:33.800
So because of that, it was terrifying as a child.

499
00:36:34.200 --> 00:36:35.520
And so I struggled with that.

500
00:36:35.520 --> 00:36:39.120
That is, but once I finally became solid and oh no, no, no.

501
00:36:39.160 --> 00:36:39.360
Okay.

502
00:36:39.360 --> 00:36:41.400
What seriously did God say in the Bible?

503
00:36:42.120 --> 00:36:46.080
And between me and him, now that I know God, is he, are he and I okay?

504
00:36:46.080 --> 00:36:50.560
And I'm like, yeah, I know his voice and I know his spirit and yeah, I'm fine.

505
00:36:50.840 --> 00:36:53.640
So I know I really would say, but I was bored and it's just no big deal.

506
00:36:53.640 --> 00:36:58.280
So salvation, honestly, very, very, very, very, very simple.

507
00:36:58.760 --> 00:37:01.680
Um, and then the, and then as far as like baptism, baptism of the

508
00:37:01.680 --> 00:37:05.560
Holy spirit, baptism, baptism by fire, baptism by water, you know, all

509
00:37:05.560 --> 00:37:10.320
of those things are important, but they're not just like communion, but

510
00:37:10.320 --> 00:37:17.160
they're not, um, they, they all are aspects of being a son of God and

511
00:37:17.160 --> 00:37:23.880
living in, um, living with access to all of the power that God says that

512
00:37:23.880 --> 00:37:26.960
we have, I mean, you know, in him.

513
00:37:27.320 --> 00:37:30.840
Um, just, I don't know, just ways in which we connect with him.

514
00:37:30.840 --> 00:37:35.400
I don't fully understand all of it, but, but it doesn't have anything to

515
00:37:35.400 --> 00:37:37.360
do with whether or not we're saved.

516
00:37:37.400 --> 00:37:39.440
You know, my dad, I was shot.

517
00:37:39.440 --> 00:37:45.240
He was, he was baptized in the Methodist church as a baby or not as a baby.

518
00:37:45.840 --> 00:37:46.280
Yeah.

519
00:37:46.320 --> 00:37:46.840
As a baby.

520
00:37:46.920 --> 00:37:47.080
Yeah.

521
00:37:47.080 --> 00:37:51.280
I think the sprinkled, I think, I think that's what the Methodist did.

522
00:37:51.480 --> 00:37:54.040
And then that's why the Baptist were called Baptist because

523
00:37:54.040 --> 00:37:55.160
they believed in full immersion.

524
00:37:55.200 --> 00:37:57.600
So anyway, so he was raised Methodist.

525
00:37:57.600 --> 00:38:00.200
And so he had, he was sprinkled on his baby.

526
00:38:00.240 --> 00:38:02.360
Well, he was a sold out Christian.

527
00:38:02.360 --> 00:38:06.800
I don't know when he became a Christian, maybe nine at camp or something like that.

528
00:38:07.120 --> 00:38:11.000
And then somewhere in high school, I don't know, he just took off

529
00:38:11.040 --> 00:38:16.800
between he and the Lord and, and anyway, and so, and he was, I watched my dad's

530
00:38:16.800 --> 00:38:22.840
baptism about, I don't know, 12 years ago, he'd never been baptized before.

531
00:38:22.840 --> 00:38:25.280
Served as a missionary overseas for a year.

532
00:38:26.320 --> 00:38:30.280
You know, no one questioned his salvation, you know, and meaning

533
00:38:30.280 --> 00:38:34.600
like, because of how he lived and because you could sense the spirit of God.

534
00:38:35.440 --> 00:38:40.960
And he wasn't baptized, baptized in water because he said that he was just, he

535
00:38:40.960 --> 00:38:43.720
don't, you talk to the Lord about it and just never felt that it was the right

536
00:38:43.760 --> 00:38:44.040
time.

537
00:38:44.040 --> 00:38:48.440
And finally, when all of his kids were adults, he suddenly, they were having a

538
00:38:48.440 --> 00:38:53.240
baptism that at his church when, at our church, when my parents moved back and

539
00:38:53.240 --> 00:38:57.720
they suddenly felt like, you know, got a fellow that God's telling me now's the

540
00:38:57.720 --> 00:38:58.000
time.

541
00:38:58.000 --> 00:38:59.680
So now I'm going to be water baptized.

542
00:39:00.240 --> 00:39:01.440
I had no idea.

543
00:39:01.440 --> 00:39:02.960
My dad had never been water baptized.

544
00:39:02.960 --> 00:39:06.000
I mean, like, isn't it like in full immersion as an adult, not sprinkled.

545
00:39:06.640 --> 00:39:09.960
No idea my whole life until about 12 years ago.

546
00:39:10.440 --> 00:39:14.360
The point is, all of those things are important, just like taking communion.

547
00:39:14.360 --> 00:39:17.880
But some people take communion once every several years and other people

548
00:39:17.880 --> 00:39:19.120
take communion every week.

549
00:39:19.480 --> 00:39:21.840
Others to others that I know take communion twice a day.

550
00:39:22.280 --> 00:39:26.640
So the thing is that it doesn't have anything to do with whether or not we're

551
00:39:26.640 --> 00:39:27.280
saved.

552
00:39:27.480 --> 00:39:30.000
They're just, they are there.

553
00:39:30.040 --> 00:39:33.360
I do believe that they do things in the spirit, you know, when we do them, when

554
00:39:33.360 --> 00:39:36.200
we take communion, when we're water baptized, when we're baptized in the

555
00:39:36.200 --> 00:39:39.680
spirit, you know, all of those things, but it doesn't have anything to do with.

556
00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:43.040
You know, so, so, so there's that.

557
00:39:43.680 --> 00:39:44.600
And what was your other question?

558
00:39:45.640 --> 00:39:53.480
You're also talking where I'm, um, cause from more from what I understand now is,

559
00:39:53.600 --> 00:40:00.080
um, my continuing to like eat for, for whatever reason.

560
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.000
is linked to me not necessarily believing that God is good.

561
00:40:09.360 --> 00:40:13.060
And then a way for me to kind of like

562
00:40:13.060 --> 00:40:15.940
bring those two things together would to be,

563
00:40:15.940 --> 00:40:18.900
to continue to just be like, I choose you.

564
00:40:18.900 --> 00:40:21.500
I believe you're, I choose to believe you're good.

565
00:40:21.500 --> 00:40:24.660
I choose to believe the things you're saying over my life.

566
00:40:24.660 --> 00:40:27.260
I choose to believe, you know, like whatever,

567
00:40:27.260 --> 00:40:29.860
regardless of what my life looks like,

568
00:40:29.860 --> 00:40:34.860
I continue to believe that or choose that until I feel it.

569
00:40:35.380 --> 00:40:40.380
But then my fear is that nothing will change

570
00:40:41.140 --> 00:40:43.540
because I feel like I've done that before.

571
00:40:43.540 --> 00:40:47.080
And I feel like that's my fear also with like the eating

572
00:40:47.080 --> 00:40:52.080
or where I'm like, oh, I'm just gonna try to love myself

573
00:40:52.180 --> 00:40:55.380
and speak to my body as I love it until I believe it

574
00:40:55.380 --> 00:40:59.860
or until it believes something.

575
00:40:59.860 --> 00:41:02.960
And then I'm kind of still panicking

576
00:41:02.960 --> 00:41:04.820
because I'll go on the scales and I'll see,

577
00:41:04.820 --> 00:41:06.660
oh, it's increasing or it's doing this.

578
00:41:06.660 --> 00:41:09.660
And then I kind of go back to eating candy

579
00:41:09.660 --> 00:41:11.020
and it's like this, ugh.

580
00:41:11.020 --> 00:41:12.340
Yeah, yeah.

581
00:41:12.340 --> 00:41:14.940
Or I just don't know how to, like how,

582
00:41:16.700 --> 00:41:20.220
how do I declare just like, oh, I believe you're good.

583
00:41:20.220 --> 00:41:23.660
Like whatever you did, like how do I do that

584
00:41:23.660 --> 00:41:27.340
and lose the fear of everything still staying the same

585
00:41:27.340 --> 00:41:29.260
because I feel like I've done it before

586
00:41:29.260 --> 00:41:31.620
and it hasn't changed before.

587
00:41:31.620 --> 00:41:35.340
Exactly, that's the choice that you make.

588
00:41:35.340 --> 00:41:40.340
It's a decision that you choose God over it never happening,

589
00:41:41.940 --> 00:41:43.180
which is more important.

590
00:41:43.180 --> 00:41:45.540
Like in other words, which not, which is more important

591
00:41:45.540 --> 00:41:47.020
in a conceptual idea,

592
00:41:47.020 --> 00:41:48.580
because we all know what's more important.

593
00:41:48.580 --> 00:41:49.860
We all know what we should believe.

594
00:41:49.860 --> 00:41:52.660
We all know what we should find more important,

595
00:41:52.660 --> 00:41:56.340
but what do you choose for your life?

596
00:41:56.340 --> 00:41:59.140
Not what do you think you should?

597
00:41:59.140 --> 00:42:00.460
That won't work.

598
00:42:00.460 --> 00:42:01.300
You have to choose.

599
00:42:01.300 --> 00:42:05.700
Okay, you, what is your, what are you just going to,

600
00:42:05.700 --> 00:42:09.260
what are you going to choose to be your value?

601
00:42:09.260 --> 00:42:12.140
Not that you should value it,

602
00:42:12.140 --> 00:42:15.900
but what do you choose to value more?

603
00:42:15.900 --> 00:42:19.660
Because what you value is based on a decision that you make.

604
00:42:19.660 --> 00:42:22.140
It's not based on how you feel.

605
00:42:22.820 --> 00:42:24.380
What it is that you're valuing now

606
00:42:24.380 --> 00:42:26.580
is based on decisions that you've made.

607
00:42:26.580 --> 00:42:29.300
And it's based on beliefs that you have

608
00:42:29.300 --> 00:42:31.500
about God or about life or whatever.

609
00:42:31.500 --> 00:42:32.580
So that is the thing.

610
00:42:32.580 --> 00:42:37.180
It's like, you're asking, well, how do I choose God

611
00:42:38.460 --> 00:42:40.860
without the fear?

612
00:42:40.860 --> 00:42:44.780
You choose God instead of the,

613
00:42:46.220 --> 00:42:47.340
okay, so say for instance,

614
00:42:47.340 --> 00:42:49.740
you're afraid of these things not happening.

615
00:42:49.780 --> 00:42:52.860
You choose God and you say, Lord,

616
00:42:52.860 --> 00:42:55.900
I'm unintentionally choosing you

617
00:42:55.900 --> 00:43:00.420
over these things never ever happening, ever.

618
00:43:00.420 --> 00:43:02.420
And that's what I told the Lord.

619
00:43:02.420 --> 00:43:05.220
Because I feel like I get it in the sense

620
00:43:05.220 --> 00:43:06.060
where I've been like,

621
00:43:06.060 --> 00:43:10.220
I choose you over ever getting married.

622
00:43:10.220 --> 00:43:12.660
Like I hope and think,

623
00:43:12.660 --> 00:43:15.540
and I think you do have somebody for me,

624
00:43:15.540 --> 00:43:18.900
but I choose you regardless.

625
00:43:19.740 --> 00:43:22.340
I choose you regardless of whatever that looks like.

626
00:43:22.340 --> 00:43:27.340
And I trust you to fill my life with people

627
00:43:27.980 --> 00:43:30.420
and with like, I just trust him in that.

628
00:43:30.420 --> 00:43:32.380
Like it's fine.

629
00:43:32.380 --> 00:43:35.020
And people think I'm weird probably, but that's okay.

630
00:43:37.500 --> 00:43:38.340
But-

631
00:43:41.060 --> 00:43:43.180
So you're releasing-

632
00:43:43.180 --> 00:43:47.860
I just can't practically seem to understand

633
00:43:47.860 --> 00:43:50.260
like how do I do that with this weight?

634
00:43:50.260 --> 00:43:52.940
Like, okay, so I say, I choose you God,

635
00:43:54.500 --> 00:43:57.860
but then I feel like I still have to do something myself

636
00:43:57.860 --> 00:43:59.660
to be able to actually lose the weight.

637
00:43:59.660 --> 00:44:03.820
You know, like watch what I eat or do, you know,

638
00:44:03.820 --> 00:44:06.100
like do exercise and stuff like that.

639
00:44:06.100 --> 00:44:10.420
And that's also tied together with, you know,

640
00:44:10.420 --> 00:44:15.420
the second thing, which is I choose to believe you're good,

641
00:44:15.740 --> 00:44:17.340
whatever my life looks like

642
00:44:17.340 --> 00:44:19.620
and whatever I'm working with or doing,

643
00:44:19.620 --> 00:44:23.540
or whether I'm in a rigid job or in a stressful job,

644
00:44:23.540 --> 00:44:25.460
or if I have all the freedom in the world,

645
00:44:25.460 --> 00:44:28.100
or if I have a lot of money or not a lot of, you know,

646
00:44:28.100 --> 00:44:29.940
like, I don't know.

647
00:44:29.940 --> 00:44:31.180
Yeah.

648
00:44:31.180 --> 00:44:33.460
So part of the whole choice thing

649
00:44:33.460 --> 00:44:37.780
is you are choosing to emotionally release God

650
00:44:37.780 --> 00:44:42.020
of the obligation to do something in your life,

651
00:44:42.020 --> 00:44:44.620
like help you lose weight or whatever.

652
00:44:44.660 --> 00:44:47.620
Because right now there's this thing of like,

653
00:44:47.620 --> 00:44:51.700
Lord, I'm hurt because you haven't helped me.

654
00:44:51.700 --> 00:44:54.620
I'm hurt because I'm in this situation

655
00:44:54.620 --> 00:44:56.620
and you're not helping me out of it,

656
00:44:56.620 --> 00:44:59.940
or you're not showing to me what it is that I can do.

657
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.160
the formula that I need to follow, they'll fix it.

658
00:45:03.160 --> 00:45:05.160
Or you just fixing it on your own more

659
00:45:05.160 --> 00:45:06.480
because I don't even know quite

660
00:45:06.480 --> 00:45:08.520
how I even got in this situation.

661
00:45:08.520 --> 00:45:10.280
So, I mean, I'm a good girl.

662
00:45:10.280 --> 00:45:12.720
Why on earth, you know, did this happen to me?

663
00:45:12.720 --> 00:45:14.680
You know, why all of a sudden

664
00:45:14.680 --> 00:45:17.120
did my body respond in this way or whatever?

665
00:45:17.120 --> 00:45:20.200
And Lord, this just, depending on the situation,

666
00:45:20.200 --> 00:45:24.280
it can be like, we can feel like there's something in us

667
00:45:24.280 --> 00:45:25.800
that even knows we did this to,

668
00:45:25.800 --> 00:45:27.400
even though we know we did this to ourselves,

669
00:45:27.400 --> 00:45:30.040
it's like, well, I did this and I ate this and whatever.

670
00:45:30.040 --> 00:45:32.200
There's some aspect in us that feels like,

671
00:45:32.200 --> 00:45:36.240
Lord, I don't deserve this.

672
00:45:36.240 --> 00:45:38.400
This is unfair.

673
00:45:38.400 --> 00:45:40.160
It shouldn't be like this.

674
00:45:40.160 --> 00:45:41.880
There's something, even though logically

675
00:45:41.880 --> 00:45:44.360
we may not be able to explain it to ourselves,

676
00:45:44.360 --> 00:45:46.520
emotionally, there's something in us

677
00:45:46.520 --> 00:45:49.400
that feels like what we're experiencing,

678
00:45:49.400 --> 00:45:51.560
even if logically we can talk to ourselves and say,

679
00:45:51.560 --> 00:45:53.280
hey, look, I know how this happened.

680
00:45:53.280 --> 00:45:55.800
I know, I can see that I did it.

681
00:45:55.840 --> 00:46:00.720
Emotionally, it feels like, Lord, I don't deserve this.

682
00:46:00.720 --> 00:46:04.880
I am a victim to something that's happened to me

683
00:46:04.880 --> 00:46:07.200
and I'm better than this.

684
00:46:07.200 --> 00:46:08.880
I don't know how this happened.

685
00:46:08.880 --> 00:46:13.840
My actions, Lord, I'm bearing heavier consequences

686
00:46:13.840 --> 00:46:16.760
than my actions should have caused

687
00:46:16.760 --> 00:46:19.960
is what we can emotionally think, right?

688
00:46:19.960 --> 00:46:24.840
We're, so we're emotionally holding God obligated

689
00:46:24.840 --> 00:46:28.760
and to us for something that's happened

690
00:46:28.760 --> 00:46:31.760
or something that's not happening that we want to happen,

691
00:46:31.760 --> 00:46:32.800
you know, that kind of thing.

692
00:46:32.800 --> 00:46:36.680
That's what I'm talking about that we have to sever.

693
00:46:36.680 --> 00:46:38.600
We have to say, okay, God,

694
00:46:38.600 --> 00:46:41.760
I'm no longer gonna hold you emotionally responsible

695
00:46:41.760 --> 00:46:45.800
for what has happened or what I want to happen

696
00:46:45.800 --> 00:46:47.640
that you're not helping me with

697
00:46:47.640 --> 00:46:50.520
or that hasn't happened,

698
00:46:50.520 --> 00:46:53.120
that I wanna happen that hasn't happened.

699
00:46:53.120 --> 00:46:55.960
I'm gonna stop emotionally holding you obligated to that.

700
00:46:55.960 --> 00:46:56.920
I'm gonna release you.

701
00:46:56.920 --> 00:47:00.000
Basically what you're doing is you're forgiving God

702
00:47:00.000 --> 00:47:01.560
because forgiving doesn't mean

703
00:47:01.560 --> 00:47:03.640
you're releasing someone from wrongdoing.

704
00:47:03.640 --> 00:47:08.040
It means you're releasing, holding something against them.

705
00:47:08.040 --> 00:47:10.240
So that's the big thing between us and God

706
00:47:10.240 --> 00:47:14.560
where is we're always needing to remove accusation

707
00:47:14.560 --> 00:47:16.320
that we're holding against him.

708
00:47:17.160 --> 00:47:19.040
That's what this is,

709
00:47:19.080 --> 00:47:24.080
is to let go of the accusation

710
00:47:24.840 --> 00:47:28.440
of holding things in accusation against God

711
00:47:28.440 --> 00:47:30.400
of things that have happened

712
00:47:30.400 --> 00:47:32.280
that we think shouldn't have happened

713
00:47:32.280 --> 00:47:35.400
or things that we want to happen that haven't

714
00:47:35.400 --> 00:47:39.880
and holding him basically emotionally accountable to us

715
00:47:39.880 --> 00:47:41.160
for all of those things.

716
00:47:41.160 --> 00:47:43.040
That's what we want to release

717
00:47:43.040 --> 00:47:45.280
because forgiveness is just release.

718
00:47:45.280 --> 00:47:46.840
Because remember you're the one

719
00:47:46.840 --> 00:47:48.520
that something has happened to.

720
00:47:49.720 --> 00:47:54.000
And so in a court of law, including in heaven,

721
00:47:54.000 --> 00:47:56.440
and then because this even works in the spirit realm,

722
00:47:56.440 --> 00:48:00.560
according to law that you are the one

723
00:48:00.560 --> 00:48:03.120
who has the right to release the thing

724
00:48:03.120 --> 00:48:06.720
that released someone from something they've done to you.

725
00:48:06.720 --> 00:48:10.120
Including like even in, like say for instance,

726
00:48:10.120 --> 00:48:12.840
if a friend of yours did wrong against you

727
00:48:12.840 --> 00:48:15.120
and you take them before the Lord,

728
00:48:15.120 --> 00:48:17.600
I'm like, Lord, I'm having a hard time forgiving them.

729
00:48:17.600 --> 00:48:18.440
But you know what?

730
00:48:18.440 --> 00:48:20.000
I'm here to forgive.

731
00:48:20.000 --> 00:48:22.560
And you will find that what it is

732
00:48:22.560 --> 00:48:27.560
that God holds is very sacred, even in the heavens.

733
00:48:28.240 --> 00:48:29.320
And so say for instance,

734
00:48:29.320 --> 00:48:31.440
that you're there with God and the angels

735
00:48:31.440 --> 00:48:34.640
and even like Satan and the evil spirits

736
00:48:34.640 --> 00:48:36.760
because they're sitting there in accusation against you

737
00:48:36.760 --> 00:48:38.760
of like, hey, you know, dah, dah, dah.

738
00:48:38.760 --> 00:48:43.760
And God gives you the power

739
00:48:44.520 --> 00:48:46.680
to free that other person

740
00:48:46.680 --> 00:48:49.920
from bearing the consequences of what they've done

741
00:48:50.800 --> 00:48:52.560
because it was done to you.

742
00:48:52.560 --> 00:48:55.400
So you're the one who has the right to release them.

743
00:48:55.400 --> 00:48:58.240
Case in point, even in the physical world,

744
00:48:58.240 --> 00:49:02.720
in a court of law, the judge allows a person

745
00:49:02.720 --> 00:49:07.720
that the crime was done against

746
00:49:08.080 --> 00:49:11.920
to free the other person from not bearing any consequences,

747
00:49:11.920 --> 00:49:13.440
even in a court of law.

748
00:49:14.120 --> 00:49:15.040
The one exception is obviously

749
00:49:15.040 --> 00:49:19.280
if the person has like committed some murder or whatever,

750
00:49:19.280 --> 00:49:21.200
that's a federal offense.

751
00:49:21.200 --> 00:49:22.560
So yeah, even though,

752
00:49:22.560 --> 00:49:25.040
so if it's something that like you've actually broken

753
00:49:25.040 --> 00:49:28.200
the law where we're like, you know,

754
00:49:28.200 --> 00:49:33.200
it's where you actually have to not make payment,

755
00:49:33.520 --> 00:49:34.360
what is it called?

756
00:49:34.360 --> 00:49:37.160
But you actually have to be in front of,

757
00:49:38.480 --> 00:49:40.960
that the government now has ought against you.

758
00:49:40.960 --> 00:49:43.480
So it's not just the person like, you know,

759
00:49:43.480 --> 00:49:45.560
that was something was done to,

760
00:49:45.560 --> 00:49:48.160
it was also the thing that was done against the government,

761
00:49:48.160 --> 00:49:49.640
you know, well, then the government also,

762
00:49:49.640 --> 00:49:51.520
as the judge, you now have the right to say something.

763
00:49:51.520 --> 00:49:53.920
But if it's not a case like that,

764
00:49:53.920 --> 00:49:56.040
if it's a case of like, I don't know,

765
00:49:56.040 --> 00:50:00.320
like stealing money from someone's wallet or whatever.

766
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:06.400
ever or whatnot. It is that person that has the right to completely absolve that person

767
00:50:06.400 --> 00:50:12.800
from having to bear any consequences and the judge will honor it because that person is the one that

768
00:50:12.800 --> 00:50:18.880
has the right to bring accusation or to free them from it. So it's the same thing between you and

769
00:50:18.880 --> 00:50:24.960
God. Even though God hasn't done anything wrong, we feel that he has and we're the ones holding

770
00:50:24.960 --> 00:50:30.480
accusation against him for something that was done to us that we think is God. Emotionally,

771
00:50:30.480 --> 00:50:37.520
we think it is a belief or whatever. So you have the power in heaven, this is how it works

772
00:50:37.520 --> 00:50:45.520
spiritually, that what you're holding against God is actually doing something in the spirit realm.

773
00:50:46.080 --> 00:50:50.960
Even though God didn't deserve it, you're holding something against God, we're accusing God of

774
00:50:50.960 --> 00:50:56.720
something and that is a major wall, it's a major block, it's a major resistance that is being

775
00:50:56.720 --> 00:51:07.600
honored. The spirit realm is upholding it because you have that right. It doesn't mean that it's

776
00:51:07.600 --> 00:51:11.840
deserved, but you have that right and you're holding against it. So it's this thing that

777
00:51:11.840 --> 00:51:20.320
exists. So you're the one who has the right and God is waiting for you to be the one to declare

778
00:51:20.400 --> 00:51:27.760
that those consequences and that judgment is now removed to no longer hold it against him.

779
00:51:28.800 --> 00:51:35.840
So with my ex-fiance, I obviously had to do that with forgiveness, but I had to do it.

780
00:51:35.840 --> 00:51:41.120
It took a really long time and I had to consciously choose it every single day for

781
00:51:41.120 --> 00:51:46.720
a long time until something shifted in me emotionally. So with this, is it the same

782
00:51:46.720 --> 00:51:53.040
thing? Do I have to go before the courts of law with it? Do I just do it one time? Do I do it?

783
00:51:54.240 --> 00:51:59.760
I know it sounds like I'm still looking for a formula and maybe I am. I love quick fixes.

784
00:52:02.240 --> 00:52:07.840
I'm just wondering if that is what has not been happening before, is that I felt like

785
00:52:09.200 --> 00:52:15.360
I've given it up, but then maybe I've taken it back on or you know what I mean? How do I know

786
00:52:15.360 --> 00:52:22.240
when I've done it and I don't have to worry about it anymore? Well, in a manner of speaking,

787
00:52:22.240 --> 00:52:28.240
we continually do it because that's the overcoming. What it is that we're overcoming is all of our own

788
00:52:28.240 --> 00:52:34.960
is all of the unbeliefs that our soul and our body is holding against God.

789
00:52:35.600 --> 00:52:41.440
So what you're doing is you're continually coming up against another one and it's not meant to be

790
00:52:41.440 --> 00:52:45.680
overwhelming or anything. God's just like, Hey, this is the process. This is what it is that we're

791
00:52:45.680 --> 00:52:52.080
doing. You didn't have to go through this process before the fall, you know, before it was very easy

792
00:52:52.080 --> 00:52:57.440
to express me, you know, you and me together just express who it is that we are. But now there's

793
00:52:57.440 --> 00:53:07.200
this whole thing of like, there's this, there's this resistance and this opposing belief against

794
00:53:07.200 --> 00:53:12.560
what it is about me that you're presenting. And it's saying that I'm not who I say that I am.

795
00:53:12.560 --> 00:53:16.400
And you're trying to say, yes, you are who you say that you are. And there's this opposition.

796
00:53:16.400 --> 00:53:24.080
And so you have to choose this in the face of this, as opposed to before, there was no such

797
00:53:24.080 --> 00:53:29.200
thing as this, this is all that existed. So there was no opposing force. Now there's an opposing

798
00:53:29.200 --> 00:53:34.960
force to have to choose this over because your temptation is to choose this one, you know?

799
00:53:35.840 --> 00:53:41.200
So I would obviously like then go and just like release God from what you said, like, okay,

800
00:53:41.200 --> 00:53:47.840
I release you for it from any obligation of my life, looking in a certain way. And I released

801
00:53:47.840 --> 00:53:56.320
from the obligation of feeling hurt that I feel like I've done this before and nothing's changed.

802
00:53:57.040 --> 00:54:04.000
Correct. That's a big one. Yeah. And then once I've done that and like,

803
00:54:04.880 --> 00:54:08.960
maybe, I don't know if you repent or ask for forgiveness or something. I don't know how that

804
00:54:08.960 --> 00:54:16.320
looks. Would it then look like, okay, so say then I want to go eat candy again. Do I then like,

805
00:54:16.320 --> 00:54:20.640
okay, well, this is what I want, but I still like choose to believe you're good. And I still

806
00:54:20.640 --> 00:54:28.400
release you from the obligation of me wanting to lose weight or like, I don't know how practically

807
00:54:28.400 --> 00:54:34.160
because I don't see like, because when I was choosing to forgive my ex, like because it took

808
00:54:34.160 --> 00:54:42.320
such a long time, I'm not necessarily believing that once I release God, then it'll be like magic

809
00:54:42.320 --> 00:54:47.200
and the weight will drop off and I no longer want to eat and everything like bad things.

810
00:54:47.200 --> 00:54:56.240
It could, would be great. Yeah. No, it has to be continually chosen and it has to be walked out.

811
00:54:56.240 --> 00:54:59.760
Now, remember though, when you, when you choose something.

812
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:06.000
You know, you really are taking that aspect of your flesh and you're sacrificing it.

813
00:55:06.000 --> 00:55:11.000
And if you've truly done it, then that aspect of you truly has died.

814
00:55:11.000 --> 00:55:15.000
The aspect of the flesh truly has died and has been replaced by spirit.

815
00:55:15.000 --> 00:55:22.000
And then that aspect of you can can never die again, can never go through this whole process again.

816
00:55:22.000 --> 00:55:24.000
I'm like having to die again, whatever you've already done it.

817
00:55:24.000 --> 00:55:29.000
So you're always running. You're just going to be running into deeper layers of it.

818
00:55:29.000 --> 00:55:36.000
Other aspects of the same issue in which you're not choosing God, in which you're not believing the Lord or whatever.

819
00:55:36.000 --> 00:55:42.000
And you're like, OK, Lord, now in this one that's now been revealed, I'm choosing you in the face of this.

820
00:55:42.000 --> 00:55:45.000
I'm choosing you in the face of this and what's going to happen.

821
00:55:45.000 --> 00:55:48.000
And this is how this is the process through which the Lord does it.

822
00:55:48.000 --> 00:55:55.000
This is the practical way in which it looks in our lives, is that it's as a friend of mine refers to as writing a new record.

823
00:55:56.000 --> 00:56:09.000
Where in the example that he uses is like it's like, you know, you've got your you know, it's like you've broken your arm and then you and then your arm sets incorrectly.

824
00:56:09.000 --> 00:56:19.000
So in order for your arm to set and that's like all of these past things, events and experiences that have happened to us and things we've believed about God as a result.

825
00:56:19.000 --> 00:56:23.000
And so it hasn't the bone hasn't set correctly.

826
00:56:23.000 --> 00:56:28.000
So now how do you get the bone to set correctly? You have to break it again.

827
00:56:28.000 --> 00:56:34.000
So that's why we keep having the same experiences over and over and over to have all of these cycles.

828
00:56:34.000 --> 00:56:43.000
Exactly. Those are opportunity after opportunity after opportunity to choose something different about God than we chose last time.

829
00:56:43.000 --> 00:56:54.000
To say that this time, God is who he says that he is, as opposed to what I have been believing about him when these things have happened and what I've chosen and what I've acted out, whatever.

830
00:56:54.000 --> 00:56:59.000
I'm now going to choose something different in the face of this situation.

831
00:56:59.000 --> 00:57:06.000
So whenever you're running in and so what it's going to do is it's going to write a new record, it's going to make it different.

832
00:57:06.000 --> 00:57:12.000
You're making a different determination about God when you're triggered this time.

833
00:57:12.000 --> 00:57:17.000
So and so every time that you're triggered is going to be a new thing.

834
00:57:17.000 --> 00:57:23.000
It's going to feel like it's the same issue, but it's actually always a deeper level of the same issue.

835
00:57:23.000 --> 00:57:34.000
So and you're just getting down to the root. So eventually, kind of like what with your ex-husband, you're just like, or your ex-fiance, you were just like, well, you know, it took me a long time because you kept being triggered.

836
00:57:34.000 --> 00:57:39.000
So you're like, okay, now I choose this. And so it's at this deeper layer until eventually you're like, oh, wow.

837
00:57:39.000 --> 00:57:44.000
It really, it, you know, I really am choosing this. I really am believing this. It really has happened.

838
00:57:44.000 --> 00:57:46.000
And it's the same thing. It's the same thing.

839
00:57:46.000 --> 00:57:55.000
It's like easy. Then I just said, I choose to forgive. I choose to forgive. Like I would bite my pillow. I would be so angry, but then I would do it every single day.

840
00:57:55.000 --> 00:58:01.000
And then all of a sudden, one day I was like, oh, I really don't care anymore. Like, I really like, I forgive you. I'm like, bye.

841
00:58:02.000 --> 00:58:03.000
Yeah.

842
00:58:03.000 --> 00:58:13.000
And then there were a lot of other things to walk out, but I still don't really know if I'm grasping fully like what I need to do now.

843
00:58:13.000 --> 00:58:15.000
Like, I understand what you're saying, but I don't.

844
00:58:15.000 --> 00:58:17.000
Yeah. How to do it.

845
00:58:17.000 --> 00:58:21.000
Like I almost have it, but I don't really know how to do it.

846
00:58:21.000 --> 00:58:22.000
Yeah.

847
00:58:22.000 --> 00:58:25.000
When we hang up, I'm like, I don't really know what I do then.

848
00:58:25.000 --> 00:58:26.000
Correct.

849
00:58:26.000 --> 00:58:27.000
Yeah.

850
00:58:28.000 --> 00:58:32.000
So one of the. Okay.

851
00:58:32.000 --> 00:58:51.000
So do you understand what I mean when I'm talking about making a willful and intentional decision that God is who he says that he is not that you're trying to believe it, not that you're trying to convince yourself, not that you're just saying it.

852
00:58:51.000 --> 00:59:02.000
Do you know what I mean when I say that you intentionally inside make a decision, a powerful one, as if you are now, I don't mean this in a sacrilegious way at all.

853
00:59:02.000 --> 00:59:03.000
No.

854
00:59:03.000 --> 00:59:08.000
But, well, okay, so in order to avoid that, let me, let me just use a different word.

855
00:59:08.000 --> 00:59:12.000
You are a king who has the right to make a decree.

856
00:59:13.000 --> 00:59:27.000
You can decide that something's true. So, so many, because we've been in church so long, we feel like we, I don't know about you, but I just wasn't taught that I had any power or any of my own will whatsoever.

857
00:59:27.000 --> 00:59:31.000
I was just stifled so much that I was told one I was bad.

858
00:59:32.000 --> 00:59:44.000
We love quoting that verse, you know, to children and to each other and all of that and so we have a tendency to think, I'm just bad, I should never do anything on my own because if I do it on my own.

859
00:59:44.000 --> 00:59:54.000
And if I do it on my own like will and intention and decision, then I'm being egotistical, and I'm acting like I'm my own God.

860
00:59:54.000 --> 01:00:00.000
And it's not, at least in the way that that I'm referring to it there's an aspect of the bag.

861
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:05.260
of ourselves, where God says, no, you have your own free will, and I just am guiding

862
01:00:05.260 --> 01:00:13.720
you to choose this, in other words, me, over not me, you know, God, over not God, but there's

863
01:00:13.720 --> 01:00:18.400
nothing wrong with your free will and using it.

864
01:00:18.400 --> 01:00:24.560
In fact, you can't follow God as a son without using your free will.

865
01:00:25.560 --> 01:00:29.840
Otherwise, you're just a slave, and you're no better off than before you were saved,

866
01:00:29.840 --> 01:00:33.280
as far as I mean, yeah, you could have been and all that, but my point is like, you're

867
01:00:33.280 --> 01:00:39.040
still living as if you weren't, you know, so that's so when I talk about like making

868
01:00:39.040 --> 01:00:45.640
a willful decision, like you decided that that's how it is going to be, as if you were

869
01:00:45.640 --> 01:00:50.600
and no, I don't mean anything sacrilegious when I say this, but as if you were a God,

870
01:00:50.600 --> 01:00:55.600
I'm talking that kind of a power of making a decision is that in other words, that you

871
01:00:55.600 --> 01:01:03.800
don't question the fact that you've just made up a new rule, by the way by the way by which

872
01:01:03.800 --> 01:01:07.080
the world works, you've now made a decision.

873
01:01:07.080 --> 01:01:09.800
So to us, we're just like, that's crazy.

874
01:01:09.800 --> 01:01:15.360
You can decide how the world works, you just have to learn how God decided the world was

875
01:01:15.360 --> 01:01:19.400
going to work, you know, and you just have to learn what already exists, you don't get

876
01:01:19.400 --> 01:01:21.600
to decide anything, you don't get to make anything up.

877
01:01:21.600 --> 01:01:25.800
And the only people that do with us are those people that are like doing things by like

878
01:01:25.800 --> 01:01:29.880
drinking other people's blood, and they're like on, they're learning like the secret

879
01:01:29.880 --> 01:01:34.800
and laws of attraction, and they're doing, you know, they're atheistic and whatever.

880
01:01:34.800 --> 01:01:36.680
We're not.

881
01:01:36.680 --> 01:01:42.440
And that is that is taking our free will and choosing not God.

882
01:01:42.440 --> 01:01:47.160
That's like, no, no, no, take your free will and choose me.

883
01:01:47.200 --> 01:01:49.800
So, but it's still your free will.

884
01:01:49.800 --> 01:01:53.120
Here's my point, you have autonomy.

885
01:01:53.120 --> 01:02:02.040
You have the autonomy to make a decision apart from God, in a manner of speaking.

886
01:02:02.040 --> 01:02:11.640
So you decide, because God's over God, think of it like, you know, and basically God is

887
01:02:11.640 --> 01:02:13.920
going to honor your decision.

888
01:02:13.920 --> 01:02:14.920
That is scary.

889
01:02:15.320 --> 01:02:19.360
I don't know about you, but I honestly that really, especially for people, you know, that

890
01:02:19.360 --> 01:02:22.880
I would imagine, you know, you were like me, in fact, that you grew up and probably grew

891
01:02:22.880 --> 01:02:29.920
up in a church where, you know, it was, we're so used to like the Israelites, we were so

892
01:02:29.920 --> 01:02:35.120
used to slavery, that we thought that that was safe.

893
01:02:35.120 --> 01:02:37.760
We thought that that was good, that was familiar.

894
01:02:37.760 --> 01:02:40.320
And God is like, no, you're meant for freedom.

895
01:02:40.320 --> 01:02:42.680
But we see freedom as scary.

896
01:02:42.680 --> 01:02:43.680
Why?

897
01:02:43.720 --> 01:02:46.840
Because it requires responsibility.

898
01:02:46.840 --> 01:02:52.800
It requires the fact that you could bear the consequences of having made the wrong decision.

899
01:02:52.800 --> 01:02:53.800
That's what I'm saying.

900
01:02:53.800 --> 01:02:59.560
Go to that scary place of understanding that you have the right to make an autonomous free

901
01:02:59.560 --> 01:03:04.080
will decision, and then decide which decision that you want to make.

902
01:03:04.080 --> 01:03:10.400
Do you want to make, do you want to choose that God really is who he says that he is?

903
01:03:10.400 --> 01:03:13.520
And you're choosing that instead of choosing your life.

904
01:03:13.520 --> 01:03:16.840
So are you going to give up your life to gain it?

905
01:03:16.840 --> 01:03:18.680
You know?

906
01:03:18.680 --> 01:03:24.280
Or are you going to choose, no, I, I just, I want things to be a particular way.

907
01:03:24.280 --> 01:03:28.800
So it's because what some people choose is they choose that, well, I still want God in

908
01:03:28.800 --> 01:03:34.240
my life and I want to just kind of be there, but there's a limit on the amount of closeness

909
01:03:34.240 --> 01:03:35.840
that I want to have to him.

910
01:03:35.840 --> 01:03:40.320
I want all of these nice things that the non-believers have.

911
01:03:41.240 --> 01:03:46.720
So I would like to have God there for me to, for, for me to have like a, a, an assurance

912
01:03:46.720 --> 01:03:51.240
ticket that I'm going to get to heaven and it's all eventually going to be okay, but

913
01:03:51.240 --> 01:03:54.760
I want to give myself what it is that I want here.

914
01:03:54.760 --> 01:04:01.040
And so I'm going to go and learn all of the worldly formulas about how to predict and

915
01:04:01.040 --> 01:04:03.560
determine my own future and get what I want.

916
01:04:03.560 --> 01:04:05.120
A lot of people choose that.

917
01:04:05.120 --> 01:04:07.960
In fact, most people do, they choose that.

918
01:04:07.960 --> 01:04:14.000
So what the rest intensive is all about is for me to help people understand how to make

919
01:04:14.000 --> 01:04:15.920
the other choice.

920
01:04:15.920 --> 01:04:21.400
But all I do is to help support people in understanding how to do it.

921
01:04:21.400 --> 01:04:25.080
And so that's why that's like this discussion here is you're like, yeah, but what are you

922
01:04:25.080 --> 01:04:26.080
talking about?

923
01:04:26.080 --> 01:04:29.680
And so that's why I keep trying to figure out different ways to articulate something.

924
01:04:29.680 --> 01:04:32.320
Cause that's the whole, this, what we're discussing right now, this is the whole point of the

925
01:04:32.320 --> 01:04:38.560
rest intensive is like to help someone understand in a way that they need to, of what I'm saying

926
01:04:38.560 --> 01:04:41.920
so that they can decide, is that what I want to do?

927
01:04:41.920 --> 01:04:46.840
But ultimately what is going on is you have to make a decision.

928
01:04:46.840 --> 01:04:53.520
So if you won't convince yourself, you won't, it, you won't, it, most of the time we don't

929
01:04:53.520 --> 01:04:59.600
experience it unless we've chosen the exception to that is obviously God, you know, does all

930
01:04:59.600 --> 01:04:59.600


931
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.080
things however he wants. And some of the ways that he reveals

932
01:05:03.080 --> 01:05:07.040
to us that he's faithful, is he teaches us like a child by

933
01:05:07.080 --> 01:05:11.040
doing something for advice, spoon feeding us. The point is

934
01:05:11.120 --> 01:05:13.280
that if you and I are to the point where we are with the

935
01:05:13.280 --> 01:05:17.120
Lord, God stops spoon feeding us. And now he says, No, you

936
01:05:17.120 --> 01:05:21.200
choose me first, and then I will show you who I am. Because you're

937
01:05:21.200 --> 01:05:25.160
now to the point where you don't know how to ask for something

938
01:05:25.440 --> 01:05:29.000
that you've never seen of me. So you have to choose it

939
01:05:29.000 --> 01:05:33.840
unconditionally into the unknown, to risk everything on

940
01:05:33.840 --> 01:05:37.600
it, including the way you wish that life would work, and give

941
01:05:37.600 --> 01:05:42.720
up it ever changing from the discontent situation in which

942
01:05:42.720 --> 01:05:47.200
you're finding yourself. And you and you tell me, Hey, God, you

943
01:05:47.240 --> 01:05:51.840
if it's your will, and it's who it is that you are, I will stay

944
01:05:51.840 --> 01:05:55.800
in this discontented state for the rest of my life. I just ask

945
01:05:56.400 --> 01:06:01.800
that I have you. And I don't know who that is. Yeah. So it's a

946
01:06:01.800 --> 01:06:05.880
good choice that you make the end you're choosing not this

947
01:06:05.880 --> 01:06:09.240
anymore. Yeah, that makes it won't get any easier than that.

948
01:06:09.280 --> 01:06:12.080
Does that make sense? Yeah, I'm waiting for it to be easier.

949
01:06:12.120 --> 01:06:14.760
Like, oh, I want to experience it. So I know it's true or

950
01:06:14.760 --> 01:06:19.400
whatever. And it won't get easier. Yeah. So I get that. So

951
01:06:19.400 --> 01:06:22.960
now I feel like I get that part of it. And then with that. So

952
01:06:22.960 --> 01:06:27.040
then in that when I choose that, and I stay there, I still

953
01:06:27.040 --> 01:06:33.280
can choose to exercise and eat healthy and blah, blah, blah,

954
01:06:33.280 --> 01:06:35.280
because that's just good for me.

955
01:06:36.560 --> 01:06:40.960
Yeah, so what I what I recommend that you do with that is again,

956
01:06:40.960 --> 01:06:43.320
you're choosing that God is good. Remember, you're choosing

957
01:06:43.320 --> 01:06:47.280
that God is who he says that he is, and that you are who he says

958
01:06:47.280 --> 01:06:49.680
that you are. So that's why we've been talking for the past

959
01:06:49.680 --> 01:06:54.640
few weeks about about focusing on, okay, enjoy yourself. In

960
01:06:54.640 --> 01:06:59.120
other words, teach yourself to stop viewing your relationship

961
01:06:59.120 --> 01:07:02.040
with God, and you waking up every morning and going

962
01:07:02.040 --> 01:07:04.960
throughout the whole day before you until you go to bed with

963
01:07:04.960 --> 01:07:12.480
this perspective that that that you are subject to and victim

964
01:07:12.480 --> 01:07:17.440
to whatever it is that God is going to whatever God's will is

965
01:07:17.440 --> 01:07:20.200
and whatever he he's going to ask you to do, you know, in

966
01:07:20.200 --> 01:07:22.280
other words, that your life isn't your own, and that

967
01:07:22.280 --> 01:07:25.120
everything he's going to ask you to do is hard. And that whatever

968
01:07:25.120 --> 01:07:27.560
it is, he asked you to do is always going to be the thing you

969
01:07:27.560 --> 01:07:30.360
don't want to do. And he's going to say no to all the things that

970
01:07:30.360 --> 01:07:36.040
you want. So instead of because that's been our default

971
01:07:36.160 --> 01:07:39.840
interaction with the Lord, we're wanting to break that and say,

972
01:07:39.840 --> 01:07:43.880
No, God is good. Now I don't get to determine what that goodness

973
01:07:43.880 --> 01:07:47.680
looks like when it manifests into my life. It might manifest

974
01:07:47.680 --> 01:07:51.840
as pain, but God bit just because it manifests as pain

975
01:07:51.840 --> 01:07:55.600
doesn't mean that God isn't good and that that's in that. And it

976
01:07:55.600 --> 01:07:59.040
can still be God being good to me, because there's something

977
01:07:59.080 --> 01:08:02.360
about me that he's focused on that he's wanting to give me

978
01:08:02.360 --> 01:08:05.880
more love and more freedom. So even if I can't see it, that's

979
01:08:05.880 --> 01:08:09.040
fine. I just always choose that no matter what's happening to

980
01:08:09.160 --> 01:08:14.920
God is being really good right now. And you can disconnect it

981
01:08:14.920 --> 01:08:18.279
from what's happening. But you can choose that while the thing

982
01:08:18.279 --> 01:08:22.640
is happening, God is being very good right now. And he has been

983
01:08:22.640 --> 01:08:26.120
very good to me. And you can still disconnect it from the

984
01:08:26.120 --> 01:08:29.479
fact that Yeah, but these things are happening, you can still

985
01:08:29.479 --> 01:08:33.479
believe in the almost like we categorize it, you know, in like

986
01:08:33.479 --> 01:08:36.200
this totally separate little box, that even though this thing

987
01:08:36.200 --> 01:08:39.120
is happening, God is being good, and he's being good to me

988
01:08:39.120 --> 01:08:43.880
right now. And it's a willful decision, you're making it up,

989
01:08:43.880 --> 01:08:47.160
because there will be no evidence, there will be no

990
01:08:47.160 --> 01:08:52.160
proof and no way for you to be able to nothing that is

991
01:08:52.160 --> 01:08:55.960
happening in your life, that will make sense to you that that

992
01:08:55.960 --> 01:08:59.640
could possibly be true. Because you're like, No, my life is

993
01:08:59.640 --> 01:09:03.760
currently reflecting the opposite of God being good, is

994
01:09:03.760 --> 01:09:06.920
reflecting the fact that I'm probably doing that. And I've

995
01:09:06.920 --> 01:09:09.240
probably made the wrong decision. And God's probably

996
01:09:09.240 --> 01:09:13.040
punishing me and God's whatever. And the majority of the time, I

997
01:09:13.040 --> 01:09:16.880
don't believe that he is the majority of the time. And I say

998
01:09:16.880 --> 01:09:19.000
punishing us, it's not punishing us. But what I'm saying is

999
01:09:19.000 --> 01:09:21.479
majority of the time, I don't believe it's him correcting us.

1000
01:09:21.960 --> 01:09:24.800
It's, it's just simply that we're looking at everything

1001
01:09:24.800 --> 01:09:29.520
thinking that that the discomfort is correction. And

1002
01:09:29.520 --> 01:09:33.680
God's just like, No, no, I am I am my correction in my

1003
01:09:33.680 --> 01:09:38.560
guidance for you is poured out to you by me being good and

1004
01:09:38.560 --> 01:09:43.680
kind and loving and giving showering you in abundance. But

1005
01:09:43.680 --> 01:09:47.120
you're not calling me good. So you don't get to see the

1006
01:09:47.120 --> 01:09:52.479
goodness. You don't get to, we get to experience of God. And

1007
01:09:52.479 --> 01:09:54.760
this is kind of like where the rubber meets road. This is kind

1008
01:09:54.760 --> 01:09:59.400
of that how you would summarize the this is that we get to

1009
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.700
of God who we did, we get to experience the God that we declare that he is, whoever we

1010
01:10:05.700 --> 01:10:08.920
declare him to be is how he shows up.

1011
01:10:08.920 --> 01:10:13.780
So if we say he's only this good, instead of this good, he's only going to show up as

1012
01:10:13.780 --> 01:10:19.140
this good in our lives, because he honors the fact that we've declared that this is

1013
01:10:19.140 --> 01:10:20.140
who he is.

1014
01:10:20.140 --> 01:10:22.260
He's like, okay, then that's how I'll show up.

1015
01:10:22.260 --> 01:10:27.300
But if he, if he, if we agree with him that he's this good, then he'll show up as this

1016
01:10:27.300 --> 01:10:28.300
good.

1017
01:10:28.300 --> 01:10:29.300
Why?

1018
01:10:29.300 --> 01:10:31.380
Because he'll only show up as he really is.

1019
01:10:31.380 --> 01:10:36.860
He doesn't show up as he's not, but he'll only show up to the degree that we say, agree

1020
01:10:36.860 --> 01:10:39.220
with him that he is.

1021
01:10:39.220 --> 01:10:43.980
So anyway, that's, so what it is that we're experiencing of God is who it is that we've

1022
01:10:43.980 --> 01:10:44.980
said that he is.

1023
01:10:44.980 --> 01:10:48.820
So we have, if we want a different experience in life, we have to declare that he's different

1024
01:10:48.820 --> 01:10:50.780
than who we've been declaring him to be.

1025
01:10:50.780 --> 01:10:56.500
We have to look at, and we have to just simply choose that he is that those things, not making

1026
01:10:56.700 --> 01:10:59.060
something up like, oh, I wish God was a unicorn.

1027
01:10:59.060 --> 01:11:02.820
And I wish that every time that I sold him this, that you would just grant what I wish.

1028
01:11:02.820 --> 01:11:04.900
We're not talking about making something up.

1029
01:11:04.900 --> 01:11:09.300
We're talking about the, who does he say that he is?

1030
01:11:09.300 --> 01:11:11.180
And I'm going to choose he's that.

1031
01:11:11.180 --> 01:11:17.180
And then I'm going to watch to see how he chooses to express it, because that's something

1032
01:11:17.180 --> 01:11:18.740
we don't get to determine.

1033
01:11:18.740 --> 01:11:22.500
We don't get to determine what our life, so to speak, we don't get to determine what our

1034
01:11:22.500 --> 01:11:27.820
life and we don't get to determine the outcome.

1035
01:11:27.820 --> 01:11:35.700
So when it comes to like my work now or the outcome with this court thing or getting married

1036
01:11:35.700 --> 01:11:40.780
or not, but I still don't get it in the, in the eating healthy or the weight thing, like

1037
01:11:40.780 --> 01:11:45.620
the very practical, like, cause I feel like the other things are so big that I'm like,

1038
01:11:45.620 --> 01:11:50.460
I can't really do anything with those, you know, like, I'm like, God, you're just going

1039
01:11:50.460 --> 01:11:55.300
to have to, like, I'm going to choose, I'm going to choose that you're good and see what

1040
01:11:55.300 --> 01:11:56.300
happens.

1041
01:11:56.300 --> 01:11:57.300
Yeah.

1042
01:11:57.300 --> 01:12:00.740
Well, it's the same thing though, with remember what it is that we're believing about God

1043
01:12:00.740 --> 01:12:05.420
is just not what he says about himself, but what he says about us, because the issue with

1044
01:12:05.420 --> 01:12:11.260
the eating is what we believe about ourselves, that we're not good or we're not safe or we're

1045
01:12:11.260 --> 01:12:14.340
the problem or we're an issue or we're whatever.

1046
01:12:14.340 --> 01:12:20.620
So our body sees ourselves as it believes that we're seeing it as an enemy.

1047
01:12:20.620 --> 01:12:24.660
So we have to stop seeing ourselves the way that we've been seeing ourselves and we have

1048
01:12:24.660 --> 01:12:27.620
to see ourselves the way that God says that we are.

1049
01:12:27.620 --> 01:12:31.820
And that was what I was talking about, about that whole aspect of like, so how do you practically

1050
01:12:31.820 --> 01:12:34.540
start shifting into that belief?

1051
01:12:34.540 --> 01:12:38.260
Because remember, you have to choose that it's true, but now you have to act on it.

1052
01:12:38.260 --> 01:12:43.780
So what are the practical things you can do to act on the fact that you chose like, okay,

1053
01:12:44.220 --> 01:12:48.980
if I really believe that, that God is who he says to be as in who he's in, that I really

1054
01:12:48.980 --> 01:12:53.460
am who insists I am, that I'm perfect, that I'm one with Christ, that I'm in seated in

1055
01:12:53.460 --> 01:12:58.180
that position of power and authority and on the judgment seat of Christ that I see.

1056
01:12:58.180 --> 01:13:03.660
And I'm everything righteously that I am, that who it is that I am is actually spirit.

1057
01:13:03.660 --> 01:13:09.860
If all of those things are true, and if I choose that, that is my reality, because again,

1058
01:13:09.860 --> 01:13:14.860
you're making an autonomous decision that that is actually true and it will feel like

1059
01:13:14.860 --> 01:13:15.860
you're making it up.

1060
01:13:15.860 --> 01:13:19.620
And that's hard to do because we were, that was knocked out of us very young at a very

1061
01:13:19.620 --> 01:13:23.900
young age that don't believe something that's not true and hasn't proven itself to you.

1062
01:13:23.900 --> 01:13:26.300
And God's saying, no, do the opposite.

1063
01:13:26.300 --> 01:13:29.780
You know, so that's very hard for us to undo, but anyway, we have to do it.

1064
01:13:29.780 --> 01:13:31.780
So it'll feel like you're making it up, make it up.

1065
01:13:31.780 --> 01:13:34.180
I mean, like, don't make it up, but like, it'll feel like it.

1066
01:13:34.180 --> 01:13:38.020
So just go into that feeling of like, this feels like very unsafe because it feels like

1067
01:13:38.180 --> 01:13:42.820
I'm just totally making up an unreality, but remember what makes it a reality?

1068
01:13:42.820 --> 01:13:46.660
The fact that God said, not the fact that you saw proof, but the fact that he said,

1069
01:13:46.660 --> 01:13:48.460
so, okay, who does he say that I am?

1070
01:13:48.460 --> 01:13:49.460
Okay.

1071
01:13:49.460 --> 01:13:54.740
Well, he says that he and I are, are completely fun and that my spirit is completely fine.

1072
01:13:54.740 --> 01:13:57.140
And that is just my soul and that's my identity.

1073
01:13:57.140 --> 01:14:01.580
So there's nothing wrong between me and the Lord and that who it is that I am is perfect

1074
01:14:01.580 --> 01:14:04.420
and who it is that I am, you know, it's fine.

1075
01:14:04.420 --> 01:14:09.300
So I now need to be the king for my soul and my body to know that they're safe so that

1076
01:14:09.300 --> 01:14:14.340
everything that they're doing to provide for them, protect themselves isn't necessary anymore.

1077
01:14:14.340 --> 01:14:17.620
Now that I'm here is the spirit to do it for them.

1078
01:14:17.620 --> 01:14:21.100
So, but how do I convince them to give up?

1079
01:14:21.100 --> 01:14:22.500
They're protecting themselves.

1080
01:14:22.500 --> 01:14:23.940
They're providing for themselves or whatever.

1081
01:14:23.940 --> 01:14:28.300
In other words, that's feeling not, how do I get them to stop eating?

1082
01:14:28.300 --> 01:14:30.620
No, you're addressing.

1083
01:14:30.620 --> 01:14:34.160
How do I get them to stop believing what they're believing?

1084
01:14:34.900 --> 01:14:35.900
How do I get them to choose that?

1085
01:14:35.900 --> 01:14:38.640
I really am who I say that I am.

1086
01:14:38.640 --> 01:14:40.880
I am who God says that I am.

1087
01:14:40.880 --> 01:14:42.440
I really will.

1088
01:14:42.440 --> 01:14:47.360
I really have the power and the wisdom and the righteousness because I'm united with

1089
01:14:47.360 --> 01:14:52.040
Christ to give them all the protection and provision that they need and that they will

1090
01:14:52.040 --> 01:14:53.040
be safe.

1091
01:14:53.040 --> 01:14:57.920
And even though they let down their guard, how do I convince them of that?

1092
01:14:57.920 --> 01:14:59.960
And what you do is you, is you fully.

1093
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:06.880
accept them the way that they are, not requiring them to put down their, their guard. And then

1094
01:15:06.880 --> 01:15:11.520
just, and then so they can be safe with you, even while they consider you the enemy,

1095
01:15:12.560 --> 01:15:16.720
that you're, that they're still safe with you. And you fully love and accept and accept them,

1096
01:15:16.720 --> 01:15:19.840
even though they're resisting you. And even though they don't like you, and even though

1097
01:15:19.840 --> 01:15:24.400
they don't trust you and they whatever, and you love them, and you actually don't be the

1098
01:15:24.400 --> 01:15:31.760
thing that they think that you are, they think you're something prove different. And then when

1099
01:15:31.760 --> 01:15:36.400
you're, and then so, and then by just loving and accepting them fully the way that they are and

1100
01:15:36.400 --> 01:15:42.560
not requiring them to ever weigh anything different, you know, and then that is the

1101
01:15:42.560 --> 01:15:48.800
practical way to do it. It's, and then just kind of like, and then, so even when you eat,

1102
01:15:48.800 --> 01:15:53.200
because I've even walked somebody else through anorexia with it, with all of this as well.

1103
01:15:54.160 --> 01:16:00.240
And so, cause she was like, actually, what do I do? Because I, I you know, I hardly eat at all.

1104
01:16:00.240 --> 01:16:06.160
And then when I do eat, she's like, is she, it wasn't bulimia, but it was like bulimia. She would

1105
01:16:06.160 --> 01:16:11.200
just bench like a bulimic, but I don't think she would actually throw up anyway. And so she's just

1106
01:16:11.200 --> 01:16:14.640
like, actually, what do I do? And I said, fully loving, you accept yourself when you bench.

1107
01:16:16.560 --> 01:16:23.120
I said, just to stop resisting you stop thinking that you're this bad thing that now needs to feel

1108
01:16:23.600 --> 01:16:28.960
horrible because you've done this. Stop considering yourself the problem that you

1109
01:16:28.960 --> 01:16:35.120
were always trying to fight. I said, and then your body and your, because it's simply operating off

1110
01:16:35.120 --> 01:16:41.520
of emotion and what it believes will stop feeling the need. It will stop feeling unprotected by you.

1111
01:16:41.520 --> 01:16:49.840
It will stop feeling unsafe. I said, and then you'll stop eating because it no longer needs

1112
01:16:49.840 --> 01:16:54.480
to protect itself from you. Now that you always provide a safe place for you. So it doesn't need

1113
01:16:54.480 --> 01:17:00.000
to go to try to make it some safety. If it already is safe, if it already feels that it no longer

1114
01:17:00.000 --> 01:17:05.840
needs to do it. So I don't have to, so I'll just fully love and accept myself, even if I eat crap,

1115
01:17:05.840 --> 01:17:11.360
but I can also still love and accept myself. If I choose to work out and eat healthy, like,

1116
01:17:11.360 --> 01:17:19.040
it's not like a reward thing, you know, but like maybe stop going on the scale every morning to see

1117
01:17:19.040 --> 01:17:23.440
what I went, you know what I mean? That was, that was the other thing I was going to suggest

1118
01:17:23.440 --> 01:17:30.240
to teach yourself. This is at least what I do to teach myself something. I get very drastic

1119
01:17:30.240 --> 01:17:34.480
with myself, including things like I stopped weighing myself every day. Cause I would,

1120
01:17:34.480 --> 01:17:40.320
I weighed myself every day for years, every day for years. And so I just stopped weighing myself.

1121
01:17:40.320 --> 01:17:46.560
I'm like, no, Ashley, no, you really will be. You really, if, if you say that you really are okay,

1122
01:17:46.560 --> 01:17:52.160
prove it to yourself. Don't weigh to measure and see if you're okay with yourself because then

1123
01:17:52.160 --> 01:17:56.080
you're, why are you checking? You're checking in order to see if you're okay with yourself.

1124
01:17:56.080 --> 01:18:01.040
I'm like, no, I am. I choose that. I am. You can't be like, well, no, I'm just,

1125
01:18:01.040 --> 01:18:05.040
I'm just not going to do it. I'm going to force myself to not, to not weigh. And I'm just going

1126
01:18:05.040 --> 01:18:11.120
to like, you know, just try really hard to do it. That's, that's this whole, like the exertion thing,

1127
01:18:11.120 --> 01:18:17.120
which is still fighting the thing in you. That is like, I have to do it because I'm not okay.

1128
01:18:17.120 --> 01:18:23.440
Now you finally choose. No, I am okay with myself. I'm just simply, I've made the choice first.

1129
01:18:24.080 --> 01:18:30.960
And now by I'm acting on it by, I'm not going to, I'm going to prove it by I'm not going to

1130
01:18:30.960 --> 01:18:35.760
weigh or whatever. And then, and then fully love and accept your body just kind of, you know,

1131
01:18:35.760 --> 01:18:41.040
as it is. And it doesn't mean that you don't have to go. Cause right now I'm not okay.

1132
01:18:41.120 --> 01:18:45.840
But I just have to choose, choose that. I'm okay. Even if I'm not okay.

1133
01:18:45.840 --> 01:18:51.760
What I mean by okay. Is that you're accepting yourself. You're like, this is who, this is who

1134
01:18:51.760 --> 01:18:55.520
I am. And I don't mean like, yeah, you identify with like struggling with weight. I don't mean

1135
01:18:55.520 --> 01:19:02.640
that who you are. I mean, I could be like, okay, you've gone through bad things right now. Yeah.

1136
01:19:02.640 --> 01:19:08.080
You gained weight. It's understandable. It's a new job. You lost your dad. There's a trial.

1137
01:19:08.240 --> 01:19:15.200
There's a lot of things going on. Like you're okay. Yeah. Or like you're okay. Is in like, okay.

1138
01:19:16.000 --> 01:19:23.280
I'm I'm like, I'm mad right now. I am. Does it mean that you need to act on the fact that you're

1139
01:19:23.280 --> 01:19:28.720
mad? It just means you just get alone or alone with yourself. What I mean is like no distractions.

1140
01:19:28.720 --> 01:19:32.880
I don't mean like physically alone, but like you just, okay. No distractions. You just focus on

1141
01:19:32.880 --> 01:19:36.320
the fact of like, okay, how am I feeling in knowledge to yourself? How it is that you're

1142
01:19:36.320 --> 01:19:40.880
feeling? I'm feeling mad. I'm feeling sad. I'm feeling scared. I'm feeling, you know, whatever,

1143
01:19:40.880 --> 01:19:45.200
or I'm wanting to eat or I'm battling. I'm, you know, I'm scared of the fact that I want to eat

1144
01:19:45.200 --> 01:19:49.840
or I don't know whatever it is, or I'm feeling bad because I just ate whatever it is. Like

1145
01:19:51.600 --> 01:19:53.840
what I'm saying about like the fact that you're okay.

1146
01:19:55.520 --> 01:19:59.840
Is sure. There's the whole, okay. Like me and God between in my spirit, we're okay.

1147
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:05.440
There's that aspect, but what I'm also talking about is the I am is acknowledging the fact that

1148
01:20:05.440 --> 01:20:12.400
you feel the way that you feel and letting that be okay that you feel that way. I am mad. Okay.

1149
01:20:14.000 --> 01:20:23.600
I'm just mad right now, or I'm, or I'm afraid, or I just eat. I would recommend you're not

1150
01:20:23.600 --> 01:20:28.960
associating the fact that that you don't associate it with an action like, oh, I just

1151
01:20:30.720 --> 01:20:38.720
you, um, like associate it with an emotion. Like this is how I'm feeling, or this is how I'm doing

1152
01:20:38.720 --> 01:20:46.480
not. Oh, I just ate all of this, but I'm okay. Don't associate it with an action associated with

1153
01:20:47.120 --> 01:20:51.600
the root of why you did it or how you're feeling about it, because that is why you're doing the

1154
01:20:51.600 --> 01:20:56.960
action. Just like our action comes after our faith in order to prove our faith is the same

1155
01:20:56.960 --> 01:21:01.440
with all of this other stuff is the reason why we're doing something is because of what we believed

1156
01:21:01.440 --> 01:21:09.520
anyway. So forget what you did release yourself from, from always being, from always associating

1157
01:21:09.520 --> 01:21:15.680
with and connecting with what you're doing and always connect with. Okay. How you're feeling

1158
01:21:15.680 --> 01:21:20.640
or, or what it is that you're believing right now or whatever, and just accept yourself

1159
01:21:21.280 --> 01:21:26.880
as struggling with that right now. Okay. That's okay. Remember, it's not you who's struggling.

1160
01:21:26.880 --> 01:21:32.720
It's your spirit. That's looking at your soul and your body and just knowing, okay, well,

1161
01:21:32.720 --> 01:21:37.680
you know, the children right now, in other words, this aspect of me, and let's just call it a lower

1162
01:21:37.680 --> 01:21:42.160
aspect. You know, I don't want to make it sound, you know, like it's in, like, it's not important,

1163
01:21:42.160 --> 01:21:45.760
but just think of it kind of like a lower aspect, you know, this part of me, you know,

1164
01:21:45.760 --> 01:21:51.280
still not perfect. And in all of that, it's struggling right now. I'm not, but it is.

1165
01:21:52.080 --> 01:21:58.800
Yeah. So you remember that you anchor yourself in who it is that you are as, as being who God

1166
01:21:58.800 --> 01:22:05.520
says that you are, but you acknowledge that this other aspect of yourself that really is used.

1167
01:22:05.520 --> 01:22:10.480
You don't can disconnect from it. That's a huge, important thing. Otherwise it feels abandoned by

1168
01:22:10.480 --> 01:22:14.400
you. And that's why it's eating. So connect yourself with it where you're like, Hey,

1169
01:22:14.960 --> 01:22:20.880
you know, I don't identify. I I'm already perfect and I'm imperfect while you're struggling and

1170
01:22:20.880 --> 01:22:28.560
you're part of me. And so I know that you feel that your struggle is making us and who we are

1171
01:22:28.560 --> 01:22:36.160
bad. And it's not, you can struggle, but I need the spirit. I'm the thing that identifies all of

1172
01:22:36.160 --> 01:22:42.080
us is good. We're all good. We're all okay. You know, and so you can struggle. And so it will

1173
01:22:42.080 --> 01:22:50.080
feel, it will, it will release its need to do, to act out the way it's acting out. If it knows

1174
01:22:50.080 --> 01:22:58.000
that truly it's valued for who it is and not judged for what it's doing or not doing, then

1175
01:22:58.000 --> 01:23:05.600
it will eventually release its need to do those things. Yeah. I feel like that was like full

1176
01:23:05.600 --> 01:23:12.000
circle. Yeah. I'm like, okay. So me and God there, then the spirit, then yes. Yeah. Yeah.

1177
01:23:12.000 --> 01:23:18.400
So that's why I was always talking about choosing God and choosing who he says that we are and how

1178
01:23:18.400 --> 01:23:24.800
that eventually trickles down into how our body and our soul then respond, because otherwise you're

1179
01:23:24.800 --> 01:23:27.920
right. It can feel so disconnected. Cause you were like, well, wait a minute, you know, you're

1180
01:23:27.920 --> 01:23:32.000
saying this. And so I get that. That's great. But what about, what do I do? And I'm like,

1181
01:23:32.000 --> 01:23:37.440
well, that actually determines what you do is like, if those, if those things are true,

1182
01:23:37.440 --> 01:23:42.240
if I choose that, I got his specificity is that I am who he says that I am. Therefore,

1183
01:23:42.240 --> 01:23:49.520
what would I do? How would I act? And because I'm choosing that it's true. Okay. So now that I

1184
01:23:49.520 --> 01:23:55.760
choose it, it's true. And that is really who I am now. What does that person want to do?

1185
01:23:56.720 --> 01:24:02.000
What does that person believe is the righteous decision to make God now that I'm no longer

1186
01:24:02.000 --> 01:24:06.560
threatened by whatever you tell me to do, but what should we do together? Should we do this

1187
01:24:06.560 --> 01:24:11.920
or should we do this? Should we have this business or should we go, or should we, you know, um,

1188
01:24:11.920 --> 01:24:15.520
apply for this other job? You know, what do we do? Because I've releasing the outcome to you,

1189
01:24:15.520 --> 01:24:20.880
but I'm no longer emotionally accusing you based off of which one you tell me to do

1190
01:24:21.680 --> 01:24:24.960
because you were okay. And I'm okay. Oh, we froze.

1191
01:24:31.280 --> 01:24:39.520
Oh, are you there? Oh yeah. It froze. I know. Yeah. Emotionally. Um, you said,

1192
01:24:39.520 --> 01:24:44.160
oh yeah. When you're not emotionally, do I stay here? Do I do this job?

1193
01:24:45.120 --> 01:24:52.000
Yeah. Emotionally accusing you is what I heard. And then, yeah. So you released God of emotionally,

1194
01:24:52.000 --> 01:24:57.120
uh, at least God of any emotional accusation, uh, based off of which one he tells you to do.

1195
01:24:57.840 --> 01:24:59.760
Oh, we're frozen again.

1196
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:00.880
You hear me?

1197
01:25:00.880 --> 01:25:02.360
Yeah, I do.

1198
01:25:02.360 --> 01:25:05.160
Okay, so anyway, that's what I would recommend, yeah.

1199
01:25:05.160 --> 01:25:06.960
So does that make sense about how-

1200
01:25:06.960 --> 01:25:08.120
How much sense, yeah.

1201
01:25:08.120 --> 01:25:09.560
Okay, good, all right.

1202
01:25:09.560 --> 01:25:13.000
So I'm glad that you pursued and continuing to ask

1203
01:25:13.000 --> 01:25:14.400
because that's what I want people to do.

1204
01:25:14.400 --> 01:25:19.400
I'm like, no, this is why the rest intensive is like

1205
01:25:19.720 --> 01:25:22.920
for people to make sure that they're understanding.

1206
01:25:22.920 --> 01:25:24.080
And that's also part of the reason

1207
01:25:24.080 --> 01:25:25.360
why I have transformation sessions

1208
01:25:25.360 --> 01:25:28.840
to make sure that people don't get left behind

1209
01:25:28.880 --> 01:25:31.120
in like, they're not wanting to say something

1210
01:25:31.120 --> 01:25:34.200
to everybody else, you know, on the bars of chats

1211
01:25:34.200 --> 01:25:35.760
or whatever that, hey, they don't get it

1212
01:25:35.760 --> 01:25:37.240
because everybody else seems to get it.

1213
01:25:37.240 --> 01:25:39.640
I want everyone to make sure that they understand

1214
01:25:39.640 --> 01:25:42.080
in their own way that they need to

1215
01:25:42.080 --> 01:25:43.520
what I'm actually saying.

1216
01:25:43.520 --> 01:25:45.520
Because everyone comes with their own background,

1217
01:25:45.520 --> 01:25:49.600
their own understanding of certain phrasing and whatever.

1218
01:25:49.600 --> 01:25:52.880
So anyway, so I hope that was helpful.

1219
01:25:52.880 --> 01:25:55.080
Thank you so much, yes, it was really, really good.

1220
01:25:55.080 --> 01:25:56.520
I mean, it's all been really, really good,

1221
01:25:56.520 --> 01:25:58.560
but now I feel like, oh yeah, no, I-

1222
01:25:59.360 --> 01:26:01.480
Like solidified in a way where I'm like,

1223
01:26:01.480 --> 01:26:03.320
oh yes, now I know what to do.

1224
01:26:03.320 --> 01:26:06.560
Okay, good, good, I'm glad.

1225
01:26:06.560 --> 01:26:09.480
So now it's just the actual like doing of the thing,

1226
01:26:09.480 --> 01:26:13.240
like the choosing and then they're walking it out

1227
01:26:13.240 --> 01:26:15.560
and whatever, but I'm telling you what,

1228
01:26:15.560 --> 01:26:17.600
it literally changes your life,

1229
01:26:17.600 --> 01:26:19.520
changes your relationship with the Lord,

1230
01:26:19.520 --> 01:26:23.880
changes the experience of the life that you have.

1231
01:26:24.240 --> 01:26:28.200
It'll be bigger and broader and more hope filled.

1232
01:26:29.360 --> 01:26:32.000
And you will notice that so many aspects of your life

1233
01:26:32.000 --> 01:26:34.760
remain the same and yet it takes you a while to realize it

1234
01:26:34.760 --> 01:26:37.240
because your life feels so different

1235
01:26:37.240 --> 01:26:39.440
because so many other aspects of your life

1236
01:26:39.440 --> 01:26:41.880
or the experiences are changing

1237
01:26:41.880 --> 01:26:46.040
and just who God is to you and how the two of you interact,

1238
01:26:46.040 --> 01:26:50.440
like totally recolors your life, so anyway.

1239
01:26:52.000 --> 01:26:53.320
Thank you so much.

1240
01:26:53.720 --> 01:26:55.160
You're welcome.

1241
01:26:55.160 --> 01:26:58.080
And also I am glad that the Lord reminded me

1242
01:26:58.080 --> 01:26:59.120
before we jumped off,

1243
01:26:59.120 --> 01:27:03.560
I am still not able to get any of the information.

1244
01:27:03.560 --> 01:27:06.000
I'm sorry that you said that you forwarded to me.

1245
01:27:06.000 --> 01:27:08.400
So I wanted to make sure that the ticket

1246
01:27:08.400 --> 01:27:12.040
is under my name, Ashley Perez, and-

1247
01:27:12.040 --> 01:27:15.960
I'm gonna write them and just make sure,

1248
01:27:15.960 --> 01:27:16.800
because it's so weird,

1249
01:27:16.800 --> 01:27:19.400
because it's like normally I'm supposed to have two

1250
01:27:19.400 --> 01:27:23.040
and then I said, I'll sign up for like the online one

1251
01:27:23.760 --> 01:27:26.400
and then I said, you would be there in person,

1252
01:27:26.400 --> 01:27:27.840
but I'm gonna email them right now.

1253
01:27:27.840 --> 01:27:32.480
I'm gonna get on a chat and just wanna check,

1254
01:27:32.480 --> 01:27:34.760
because I think you sent me the email address.

1255
01:27:34.760 --> 01:27:38.040
I just wanna write it down one more time.

1256
01:27:38.040 --> 01:27:38.880
Okay.

1257
01:27:40.160 --> 01:27:41.480
Because what I wanna do,

1258
01:27:41.480 --> 01:27:45.360
like if for some reason there is, oh no.

1259
01:27:45.360 --> 01:27:46.360
Yeah, are you there?

1260
01:27:47.320 --> 01:27:50.080
Yeah, I basically like if there is,

1261
01:27:50.080 --> 01:27:52.440
I don't know if they changed or blah, blah, blah.

1262
01:27:52.440 --> 01:27:54.160
Either way, if something has changed,

1263
01:27:54.160 --> 01:27:55.960
I will get it under your name

1264
01:27:55.960 --> 01:27:58.520
and ask them to send you like all the information.

1265
01:27:58.520 --> 01:28:01.000
So that, yeah,

1266
01:28:01.000 --> 01:28:04.520
cause there was one where it's like sign up another guest.

1267
01:28:04.520 --> 01:28:07.680
And then there was one where it's like gift my ticket.

1268
01:28:07.680 --> 01:28:10.720
So they told me, so I did both,

1269
01:28:10.720 --> 01:28:12.040
cause they told me something.

1270
01:28:12.040 --> 01:28:14.000
So I'm like, oh, I don't get what,

1271
01:28:14.000 --> 01:28:16.680
cause I've done like both of them just to be sure.

1272
01:28:17.680 --> 01:28:20.320
Cause I looked for myself

1273
01:28:20.320 --> 01:28:22.600
and I couldn't find a way for me to contact them.

1274
01:28:22.600 --> 01:28:24.360
Cause I tried to do it on my own

1275
01:28:24.360 --> 01:28:26.280
so that you wouldn't have to do anything.

1276
01:28:26.280 --> 01:28:29.120
But I'm like, there's no way that they should,

1277
01:28:29.120 --> 01:28:30.000
I can't contact them.

1278
01:28:30.000 --> 01:28:31.440
Now I do also, like I said,

1279
01:28:31.440 --> 01:28:35.000
I have a friend whose husband is going to head up IT.

1280
01:28:35.000 --> 01:28:38.240
So she even offered me, she found out that I was coming.

1281
01:28:38.240 --> 01:28:40.560
And then so she offered to also help out

1282
01:28:40.560 --> 01:28:43.720
on the backend as well, if we couldn't figure it out.

1283
01:28:43.720 --> 01:28:46.520
So she'd probably meet me at registration tomorrow

1284
01:28:47.360 --> 01:28:48.440
and make sure everything's all good.

1285
01:28:48.440 --> 01:28:51.640
But so we have a backup plan, but I thought it,

1286
01:28:51.640 --> 01:28:56.640
for one thing I thought, well, being someone like Pedro

1287
01:28:56.640 --> 01:28:59.080
that you've got a particular system,

1288
01:28:59.080 --> 01:29:01.360
I always try to want to honor whatever system

1289
01:29:01.360 --> 01:29:03.520
they have to get all this stuff worked out.

1290
01:29:03.520 --> 01:29:05.960
So I was like, well, I'll see if Annette knows anything.

1291
01:29:05.960 --> 01:29:09.560
Or if you could take a screenshot of like the ticket

1292
01:29:09.560 --> 01:29:11.760
cause, or that I would be using.

1293
01:29:13.240 --> 01:29:14.680
I'll get on a chat with them

1294
01:29:14.680 --> 01:29:17.160
and then I'll ask them to send you like,

1295
01:29:17.160 --> 01:29:20.480
so it's Ashley, what was the email you said again?

1296
01:29:20.480 --> 01:29:21.320
Ashley.

1297
01:29:21.320 --> 01:29:23.640
Ashley N for Nicole.

1298
01:29:23.640 --> 01:29:24.480
Yeah.

1299
01:29:24.480 --> 01:29:26.440
So Ashley N Wheeler,

1300
01:29:26.440 --> 01:29:31.440
W-H-E-E-L-E-R at gmail.com.

1301
01:29:34.200 --> 01:29:37.760
So Ashley Wheeler, let's see.

1302
01:29:39.760 --> 01:29:43.160
But you can put my name down as Ashley Perez.

1303
01:29:43.160 --> 01:29:44.160
Yeah.

1304
01:29:45.120 --> 01:29:46.640
Ashley N Wheeler.

1305
01:29:46.640 --> 01:29:47.480
Yeah, it comes up.

1306
01:29:47.480 --> 01:29:48.920
So I have done that before.

1307
01:29:52.840 --> 01:29:53.680
Yeah.

1308
01:29:53.680 --> 01:29:54.840
Cause I was going to ask you,

1309
01:29:54.840 --> 01:29:56.440
cause I'm like, oh, I need to ask her that

1310
01:29:56.440 --> 01:29:58.200
so I can contact them if not.

1311
01:29:58.200 --> 01:29:59.960
Cause I'm like, this is so weird.

1312
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:06.960
Um, but yeah, so I will do that and then I'll send you a messenger once I've talked to them

1313
01:30:06.960 --> 01:30:11.560
and just say, and yeah, well, I'm sorry, you're having to go through all this trouble because

1314
01:30:11.560 --> 01:30:14.240
I really appreciate it.

1315
01:30:14.240 --> 01:30:15.240
It's just really strange.

1316
01:30:15.240 --> 01:30:16.240
I'm like, why?

1317
01:30:16.240 --> 01:30:17.240
Yeah.

1318
01:30:17.240 --> 01:30:18.240
Yeah.

1319
01:30:18.240 --> 01:30:23.040
I mean, it's also like, it starts at four in the afternoon for me and goes until like

1320
01:30:23.040 --> 01:30:24.720
four in the, in the night.

1321
01:30:24.720 --> 01:30:29.240
So there's going to be so many hours that I miss out anyways, where I'm like, okay.

1322
01:30:29.240 --> 01:30:32.120
So I'm like, if I can join great.

1323
01:30:32.120 --> 01:30:33.120
If I can be online.

1324
01:30:33.120 --> 01:30:36.720
And if not, I was like, as soon as they talked about it, I was like, Ashley needs to go to

1325
01:30:36.720 --> 01:30:37.720
this.

1326
01:30:37.720 --> 01:30:40.920
So I'm like, I think I appreciate it.

1327
01:30:40.920 --> 01:30:41.920
Yeah.

1328
01:30:41.920 --> 01:30:45.520
Now, um, how, how are, are you connected with it?

1329
01:30:45.520 --> 01:30:53.060
Do you, are you part of his like mastermind or I'm part of his, so, cause I was actually

1330
01:30:53.060 --> 01:30:55.280
in Mozambique before he started this.

1331
01:30:55.280 --> 01:31:03.120
So he had donated some money because he was doing fine in this, like, well, you probably

1332
01:31:03.120 --> 01:31:06.220
know his testimony and it's like a financial business or whatever.

1333
01:31:06.220 --> 01:31:11.100
So he had donated some money to be a part of a film crew with my friend Shara, who used

1334
01:31:11.100 --> 01:31:13.940
to be the personal assistant of Heidi Baker.

1335
01:31:13.940 --> 01:31:18.180
And he wanted to like go to Mozambique to like meet Heidi.

1336
01:31:18.180 --> 01:31:19.760
And this was a way to do that.

1337
01:31:19.760 --> 01:31:27.800
So anyway, so we were like hanging out in Heidi's place in Mozambique and it was really

1338
01:31:27.800 --> 01:31:28.800
cool.

1339
01:31:28.800 --> 01:31:33.440
Like they prayed over him and he got a prophetic word and they were prophesying, you know,

1340
01:31:33.440 --> 01:31:39.860
that he would, um, take like kingdom finance and stuff like this all over the world.

1341
01:31:39.860 --> 01:31:42.860
And this was before he was like, okay, you know how, when you get a word and you're like

1342
01:31:42.860 --> 01:31:47.140
put it on the shelf for later, cause it doesn't make any sense to me.

1343
01:31:47.140 --> 01:31:49.480
Like I think that's what he was doing.

1344
01:31:50.200 --> 01:31:54.160
And then it's so fun to see like everything that's happened in such a short amount of

1345
01:31:54.160 --> 01:31:55.160
time.

1346
01:31:55.160 --> 01:32:01.880
So I think he had been talking to Sean bolts and he was just annoyed that so many ministers

1347
01:32:01.880 --> 01:32:05.840
are struggling to make money because he's like, this is not the kingdom of God.

1348
01:32:05.840 --> 01:32:09.880
Like, like, like it's abundance, like it's everything.

1349
01:32:09.880 --> 01:32:13.900
And then Sean was like, well, teach them how to.

1350
01:32:13.900 --> 01:32:17.660
And then, so I was part of that, his first little Facebook thing.

1351
01:32:17.660 --> 01:32:22.000
And then he started 100 X and then I've just kind of been apart since the beginning.

1352
01:32:22.000 --> 01:32:25.140
So I'm like, I'm in for life.

1353
01:32:25.140 --> 01:32:26.140
Yeah.

1354
01:32:26.140 --> 01:32:31.220
So it's like, you have like a lifetime membership thing.

1355
01:32:31.220 --> 01:32:32.580
So, so I've been doing that.

1356
01:32:32.580 --> 01:32:37.020
I should be better being on the calls and actually doing all of it.

1357
01:32:37.020 --> 01:32:39.380
Um, cause it's, I mean, it's good teaching.

1358
01:32:39.380 --> 01:32:46.340
He's he's, he's intense, but he's, he's, he's says I'm not angry, I'm passionate, but he's

1359
01:32:46.340 --> 01:32:52.820
he's, um, yeah, he's, um, he's Pedro.

1360
01:32:52.820 --> 01:32:53.820
Yeah.

1361
01:32:53.820 --> 01:32:54.820
Yeah.

1362
01:32:54.820 --> 01:32:58.580
He's, he's really good with business and his heart is in the right place and you know,

1363
01:32:58.580 --> 01:33:01.920
like it's, uh, yeah, there's things to learn.

1364
01:33:01.920 --> 01:33:07.700
So what I understood is at this conference, they were going to focus more on scaling up

1365
01:33:07.700 --> 01:33:12.020
and like, actually like, how do you make your business more profitable or something?

1366
01:33:12.020 --> 01:33:13.020
Yeah.

1367
01:33:13.020 --> 01:33:14.700
The upper room was going to be there.

1368
01:33:14.700 --> 01:33:15.700
I love their worships.

1369
01:33:16.060 --> 01:33:19.060
I was like, oh man, I wish I was there just for that.

1370
01:33:19.060 --> 01:33:20.060
So yeah.

1371
01:33:20.060 --> 01:33:21.060
Yeah.

1372
01:33:21.060 --> 01:33:22.060
Yeah.

1373
01:33:22.060 --> 01:33:23.060
That's what I heard.

1374
01:33:23.060 --> 01:33:24.060
Yeah.

1375
01:33:24.060 --> 01:33:25.060
That they're coming.

1376
01:33:25.060 --> 01:33:26.060
Yeah.

1377
01:33:26.060 --> 01:33:27.060
Anyway.

1378
01:33:27.060 --> 01:33:28.060
Well, good.

1379
01:33:28.060 --> 01:33:29.060
Well, I have a friend.

1380
01:33:29.060 --> 01:33:30.060
I'm very excited.

1381
01:33:30.060 --> 01:33:33.160
So like I said, my friend is going to be there and, um, I had no idea that she was coming

1382
01:33:33.160 --> 01:33:34.160
in person.

1383
01:33:34.160 --> 01:33:36.140
I was like, well, this is exciting.

1384
01:33:36.140 --> 01:33:41.860
And, uh, she, um, oh, well, I don't know if you ever saw this, but did you ever see an

1385
01:33:41.860 --> 01:33:49.500
interview with, um, of me with, uh, Lindsay Benzel on sale on my page?

1386
01:33:49.500 --> 01:33:50.500
She is on.

1387
01:33:50.500 --> 01:33:51.500
Okay.

1388
01:33:51.500 --> 01:33:54.700
So anyway, um, because some people have seen it since it's the more, one of the more recent

1389
01:33:54.700 --> 01:34:00.380
interviews I think she did it in April, the Graham cook.

1390
01:34:00.380 --> 01:34:01.380
Yeah.

1391
01:34:01.380 --> 01:34:02.380
Yes.

1392
01:34:02.380 --> 01:34:03.380
Yes.

1393
01:34:03.380 --> 01:34:04.380
Yes.

1394
01:34:04.380 --> 01:34:05.380
Correct.

1395
01:34:05.380 --> 01:34:06.380
So that, that Lindsay, that's my friend.

1396
01:34:06.380 --> 01:34:07.380
She's going to be there.

1397
01:34:07.380 --> 01:34:08.380
So, and, okay.

1398
01:34:08.380 --> 01:34:14.540
So, you know, the platform that I host the rest intensive on called tribe heard her husband.

1399
01:34:14.540 --> 01:34:15.540
That's there.

1400
01:34:15.540 --> 01:34:16.540
That's their platform.

1401
01:34:16.540 --> 01:34:17.540
They built that.

1402
01:34:17.540 --> 01:34:22.020
And so a hundred X is, is now, now uses tribe.

1403
01:34:22.020 --> 01:34:23.020
That's their app.

1404
01:34:23.020 --> 01:34:24.020
That's everything.

1405
01:34:24.020 --> 01:34:25.020
So anyway.

1406
01:34:25.020 --> 01:34:26.020
Yeah.

1407
01:34:26.020 --> 01:34:31.100
So she, she, and, and, and her husband have been part of, um, Pedro Singh since, you know,

1408
01:34:31.100 --> 01:34:32.100
near the beginning.

1409
01:34:32.100 --> 01:34:35.260
Now she hadn't known him like as long as you have, but it was like, since he like came

1410
01:34:35.260 --> 01:34:38.780
up and started doing challenges, you're like, oh, I don't know about this guy.

1411
01:34:38.780 --> 01:34:40.380
Well, we'll try a challenge.

1412
01:34:40.380 --> 01:34:42.460
And then they were in, so they've been in ever since.

1413
01:34:42.460 --> 01:34:44.100
So they're part of his master's mind.

1414
01:34:44.100 --> 01:34:48.260
And so because of that, she said, they've got special seating and because her husband's

1415
01:34:48.260 --> 01:34:53.660
going to be doing it, um, during that time, he's just helping out just because they, they

1416
01:34:53.660 --> 01:34:57.500
needed like someone to like head it up, even though he doesn't work for him.

1417
01:34:57.500 --> 01:34:59.980
And they're like, Hey, would you help provide continuity?

1418
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:02.840
to the department.

1419
01:35:02.840 --> 01:35:04.560
So anyway, so he's going to help with the event.

1420
01:35:04.560 --> 01:35:08.320
So she invited me to sit with her in his seat.

1421
01:35:08.320 --> 01:35:11.400
So I'll have whatever seat that that is, I don't know.

1422
01:35:11.400 --> 01:35:13.000
But anyway, so I'll get to sit with her,

1423
01:35:13.000 --> 01:35:14.800
which will be fun to have a friend to be with

1424
01:35:14.800 --> 01:35:17.440
because otherwise I was going to sit by myself.

1425
01:35:17.440 --> 01:35:19.320
Yeah, so I'm really, really excited.

1426
01:35:19.320 --> 01:35:23.720
So anyway, and I've been wanting to do a 100X conference

1427
01:35:23.720 --> 01:35:26.080
for a long time and my goodness, right?

1428
01:35:26.080 --> 01:35:28.240
When I moved to Dallas, here's one in person

1429
01:35:28.240 --> 01:35:29.380
and you gift it to me.

1430
01:35:29.380 --> 01:35:31.700
I'm like, oh my word, Lord, I should go.

1431
01:35:32.940 --> 01:35:34.100
I'm very excited.

1432
01:35:34.100 --> 01:35:36.580
Yeah, I'm like, smack your name on it.

1433
01:35:36.580 --> 01:35:41.580
I'm like, I'm on his site right now, just trying to say.

1434
01:35:43.860 --> 01:35:45.740
Yeah, well, I'm so excited.

1435
01:35:45.740 --> 01:35:46.860
It's going to be amazing.

1436
01:35:46.860 --> 01:35:47.700
It's going to be-

1437
01:35:47.700 --> 01:35:50.220
Yeah, like I said, such a gift to me.

1438
01:35:50.220 --> 01:35:52.260
So thank you very, very much.

1439
01:35:52.260 --> 01:35:53.580
Of course.

1440
01:35:53.580 --> 01:35:54.420
Yeah.

1441
01:35:54.420 --> 01:35:56.540
I hope we're going to have an amazing time.

1442
01:35:56.540 --> 01:35:57.380
Yes.

1443
01:35:57.380 --> 01:35:59.540
So anything else before we go?

1444
01:35:59.540 --> 01:36:01.700
No, I think this is perfect.

1445
01:36:01.700 --> 01:36:05.940
So is there, so now we're done with obviously

1446
01:36:05.940 --> 01:36:09.260
the rest intensive and like all of this,

1447
01:36:09.260 --> 01:36:11.420
is there anything happening now or no?

1448
01:36:13.460 --> 01:36:15.380
Like, am I going to do something else?

1449
01:36:15.380 --> 01:36:17.180
Or is there, yeah, you had mentioned,

1450
01:36:17.180 --> 01:36:19.420
was it like, cause I'm like, I forget what it was.

1451
01:36:19.420 --> 01:36:21.880
Is there like, was there another one

1452
01:36:21.880 --> 01:36:24.340
of the transformation sessions or is there like,

1453
01:36:24.340 --> 01:36:25.180
yeah, there, okay.

1454
01:36:25.180 --> 01:36:27.220
Yeah, there's another one.

1455
01:36:27.220 --> 01:36:30.300
And I believe you signed up early enough

1456
01:36:30.300 --> 01:36:33.100
to get one of the personal ministry sessions, right?

1457
01:36:33.100 --> 01:36:33.940
Oh yeah, yeah.

1458
01:36:33.940 --> 01:36:37.300
I think I signed up for whatever date, yeah.

1459
01:36:37.300 --> 01:36:38.700
Okay, so I think that, yeah,

1460
01:36:38.700 --> 01:36:40.420
I think that you had signed up early enough

1461
01:36:40.420 --> 01:36:42.060
that you've got one of those as well.

1462
01:36:42.060 --> 01:36:44.540
So you'll have one of those.

1463
01:36:44.540 --> 01:36:47.860
So we'll schedule those, we'll schedule those too.

1464
01:36:47.860 --> 01:36:49.980
In fact, I was trying to look at dates today

1465
01:36:49.980 --> 01:36:52.340
of like which went, oh, in fact, I already did.

1466
01:36:52.340 --> 01:36:54.140
So yes, you can go to the transfer

1467
01:36:54.140 --> 01:36:57.220
and you can go, you know, where you signed up for this one.

1468
01:36:57.220 --> 01:36:59.100
Oh no, you didn't because we did it all.

1469
01:36:59.100 --> 01:37:02.020
It was like, I couldn't figure out where it was

1470
01:37:02.020 --> 01:37:03.860
or that's when I got kicked out

1471
01:37:03.860 --> 01:37:08.860
and then I had to re-sign in with my email thing.

1472
01:37:09.140 --> 01:37:11.220
And so then it looked different

1473
01:37:11.220 --> 01:37:13.780
and then I couldn't find out where it was.

1474
01:37:13.780 --> 01:37:15.460
So that's why I was like.

1475
01:37:15.460 --> 01:37:17.180
Okay.

1476
01:37:17.180 --> 01:37:18.020
All on everything.

1477
01:37:18.020 --> 01:37:22.580
I was like, oh, yeah, but yeah.

1478
01:37:22.780 --> 01:37:26.260
Go to the same link that you went to schedule this one,

1479
01:37:26.260 --> 01:37:27.980
go to that same one and you'll see

1480
01:37:27.980 --> 01:37:31.420
that there are times open for the 18th and the 19th.

1481
01:37:31.420 --> 01:37:33.420
So pick a day, you know, that's good for you.

1482
01:37:33.420 --> 01:37:37.100
And I did it at like all different times of that day

1483
01:37:37.100 --> 01:37:39.500
so that it should work for both y'all

1484
01:37:39.500 --> 01:37:42.980
and for the nationals, like multiple time zones.

1485
01:37:42.980 --> 01:37:46.260
So I should do that on the email

1486
01:37:46.260 --> 01:37:48.260
or should I do it on the rest?

1487
01:37:49.260 --> 01:37:52.860
Oh, just go to the Facebook Messenger,

1488
01:37:54.100 --> 01:37:56.980
to the link on the Facebook Messenger chat

1489
01:37:56.980 --> 01:37:58.420
that you and I did.

1490
01:37:58.420 --> 01:38:00.900
And then that link, you know, same link.

1491
01:38:00.900 --> 01:38:02.620
I just updated the dates.

1492
01:38:02.620 --> 01:38:03.540
Okay, perfect.

1493
01:38:04.500 --> 01:38:05.420
Okay.

1494
01:38:05.420 --> 01:38:08.260
I will get on Pedro and send you.

1495
01:38:08.260 --> 01:38:09.460
Okay.

1496
01:38:09.460 --> 01:38:10.860
Thank you so much, Annette.

1497
01:38:10.860 --> 01:38:11.700
I really appreciate it.

1498
01:38:11.700 --> 01:38:13.700
I'm very much looking forward to tomorrow.

1499
01:38:15.340 --> 01:38:16.340
Okay.

1500
01:38:16.340 --> 01:38:17.180
Bye.

1501
01:38:17.180 --> 01:38:18.020
Good to see you.

1502
01:38:18.260 --> 01:38:19.860
Bye.