Hello.
Hi, how are you.
Yeah, how are you
good this morning I finally got a good night's pretty good night's sleep.
Good. That's yeah. So how yes, going your sleep just overall, just like well, some better but then I had a conference again two weekends in a row.
I got like a thing sticking straight up.
Yeah, because I get home a little late. And, and then some things were going on and I just had two nights where I didn't sleep good at all.
But, um, I'm sure something sorry.
No, that's fine. I thought, Oh, are you sick. Is that a loss in bed.
No.
It's actually called Gabba Gabba pro.
It's something my natural doctor recommended. It's all natural. Okay.
Relaxing. Yeah. Oh, nice.
I mean I don't feel much but, but it probably helps. Okay, you know, it's one of those things where you don't really notice it.
Oh, okay. Yeah.
But, well, what's going on. How are you doing I was so surprised to hear back from you so soon I was like what's happened. What's Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, um, I.
Well someone else actually for the rest intensive did the same thing they reached out and they've got it one scheduled for tomorrow I'm going, my goodness Lord is there something in the air.
So anyway, yeah. Well, you know it's okay several things have gone on one.
The day we talked I think it was to two days ago.
My goodness, I don't remember No, I think it was last week.
I'm pretty sure I could be wrong but I think it was kind of, I'm, I'm getting I'm getting kind of mixed up but well I do know this, I know that it was before you were waiting on at something to close.
And then I saw from a re listing that you did that it looks like it didn't close and then it had to go back on the market is that true.
Um, well, no, that was, well, the one I yeah the one didn't close, but it didn't close, but anyway, I repost it so it's like she'd been praying about this and yeah, no, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, that was about when we did it.
happened or the day it happened or something.
Okay, so we did talk. So two things I mean some things have still happened with me and with Ken, and how did we talk after Ken came over and acted so different, I think.
I don't, I don't remember.
I don't think he came over.
It might have been the night we talked I don't remember now but anyway, he came over for dinner. And, yeah, that was after we talked because you told me about the upcoming dinner when we talk.
Yeah.
And you and when he when he came he acted, he just acted he just wasn't talking a whole lot and he acted kind of different and then he just came and rested on the couch and I was just, I was glad you, we talked about what we did because seeing him as capable and
he went to leave and he didn't, you know, I mean, he just didn't act very affectionate, and, and, I mean usually we might kiss each other.
Yeah, even if he's leaving.
And then he just kissed me on the cheek.
And then, then we hugged each other and he just kind of held on for a little bit so I was just kind of releasing that you're capable, you know, and love and and trying to release positive things but I could just tell him.
And he went out the door and I said, you know, are you okay, and he said, Well, I'm just trying to figure out what I'm doing.
And I said, Okay, and he said he said I love you and I said I love you.
And then I talked to Dale Shannon because it really hit me kind of hard you know because it was just kind of like, all of a sudden, there's no affection he's acting different, and you know it's probably a good thing but yet it hit me hard you know because
we've been spending quite a bit time together.
Right before that we had been spending we've been having, you know, he'd stayed over here for almost a whole week. Oh, I mean, you know, I mean he would stay at his.
You know, stay at his.
that his, uh, his other, his house, I guess he calls it his house now.
He would stay there sometimes, but yeah, he would stay over here.
And yeah, he had stayed over quite a bit.
We had done quite a bit.
We, you know, so it was just kind of a big one 80.
So it hit me hard that night.
I did some writing.
I did some crying.
I did some blah, blah, blah.
So I talked to Dale about it, but then I had a dream and it showed, I
don't think I told you this, all these accusations coming against him.
Oh, um, yeah.
All these accusations coming against our marriage.
Yeah.
And, um, so anyway, so I had a Dale interpreted the dream and we prayed,
but then this, and then he was at the, he was at that conference.
He went to that conference that weekend and we talked after that.
And it was kind of awkward.
Well, then, um, there was another conference this weekend,
Dwight, Dwight and Greg.
So we had two weekends in a row.
So, so Ken was there, which was a good thing.
Cause you know, okay, here's what happened to, um, I asked one of the girls
who, who's kind of put the conference together, I've known her a while, but
we've never spent any one on one time.
And I, we talked about it, but I said, she came in the whole, she stayed the
whole week from the last conference.
I said, do you want to have lunch this week?
Yeah.
So we, we had lunch Thursday, I think she came to my town anyway.
And so we're catching up on things and she's married, but her husband's a truck
driver so that he's only home like six nights a month.
And I've met him.
He's been to one or two conferences, but he doesn't come to a lot of them.
And so she had some wisdom for me, but all of a sudden she said, do you mind
me asking how things are going with Ken?
And I said, no, not at all.
And she said, I had a vision before I came of like four people
and two of them were you and Ken.
So I knew I was going to spend some time or she said, and I've always
wanted to spend time with you.
And it's never worked out.
And I've always admired you.
And she was just real.
It's kind and sweet.
And, um, she is kind and sweet and, uh, she got a lot of wisdom
and she also counseled some people.
So I told her a little bit about what's happened.
And, um, no, I told her about, you know, all this stuff I'm going through
and all the healing I'm going through.
And then all that I saw him as a child and God was, you know,
there was places wounded.
And so we prayed together when we left, she prayed for me.
And we also prayed God, you know, just poured that blood of
Jesus over Ken and, and two, because that's what the God had
showed me to do is just, I just imagine myself.
I'm with Yeshua.
We just pour his blood over me where I'm wounded and my
bloodline and then over him too.
And she just, she just really prayed, you know, that would
heal him in his bloodline.
And she's had God do some miraculous stuff, like in her.
With her daughters and stuff.
And he's in, and she's given, she's got strategy of how to pray for her
husband and, and, uh, but anyway, so we, we had, uh, and she said,
Karen, I have to tell you at the conference last weekend, he sat
down to eat with me or eat by me.
It was a group of people.
She said, and, and I, you know, I, he was, I think I was at the next
table cause I, and I was glad he was talking to her.
Um, I was kind of thinking that, you know, cause she's just got
Carrie's wisdom and she said at one point, she said, he sat down
again near me and one point we got to talk two of us.
And he said something like something that he still had a lot of wounds
from his first, from his wife passing.
And, and, uh, she said what she was led to tell him is, you
know, follow your dreams, Ken.
And she said, he started crying.
And so long story short, I guess they talked a little more and
she offered to counsel him.
Um, so she told me that what we're saying, so I invited her and she
told me that she offered to Ken and he called while she was in the
bathroom while we were together.
Oh, wow.
So, you know, I'm glad he's reached out to somebody.
Yeah.
And she's not an official counselor, but she counsels people.
I mean, she, I think she has some, I think she has some accreditation,
but she, it hasn't been her business.
Yeah.
You know?
So, so anyway, so I was really glad to hear that.
Good.
Yeah.
And then he came to the meetings and it was pretty good.
It was, it was, um, look, the meetings were awesome.
Um, and Ken, I think got a lot from it, but you know, um, he even invite, well,
one time Dwight invited me to sit with him to eat and we were all laughing
and we were talking about you, we brought you up and, and, uh, so Ken
and I don't know, six or six of us, it was like the younger people, um,
we're all laughing and Ken tends, this is another thing he tends to hang out
with young people, which is, I think some of it, yeah, I don't know what
that all is about, but he doesn't have hardly any friends, his age, like one
friend, but I mean, he, yeah.
So there's something in him that, and there was a new guy there from India.
neat guy and Ken then invited me afterwards they were going to an after party and Ken invited me
he said hey we gotta come up to the A-frame and so he invited me so I went for about an hour because
I didn't want to stay up too late but he's drawn to that young young guy and he's just talking to
him the whole time that I was there and I had already connected with this guy too he's a really
neat guy um and uh but he invited he you know he's the one that invited me over there and
and uh and his daughter his daughter works at Cedar Creek now okay Ken's daughter got hired
there and and she's in charge of uh of uh payroll and you doing different things and I'm the one
that kind of I spoke a word to her in the fall and said I think you're going to get a job here
and she said yeah I had a dream I got hired here so she had got already showed her she was going
to apply for this lower job and I said no it's the other job and she ended up getting it so
and she was also working sound with the girl that Michelle that's going to counsel Ken
they were working sound together so anyway oh Michelle are we talking about Michelle Sparks
oh yeah she knows you real well yes yeah I know a show because when you talk about a truck driver
I'm like well that sounds like Michelle Sparks I'm like oh Ashley you know there's lots of people
who have truck drivers for husbands it is I know Michelle really well you know she lives here in
Dallas and so oh yeah we've gotten together I've gone to her house I know her girls yeah
yeah she told me she told me she was kind of in a way mentored by you yeah I mean she yeah yeah
yeah she put it somehow like yeah so she really respects you she is isn't she yes she's very
special um oh my friend Shelly Lemon just texted I really miss you darlings oh that's sweet oh I
know yeah you know Shelly yeah yeah she came to the same conference you know that the uh
enter his rest conference and so she uh uh and her husband uh Kevin and their kids they all hung
out for a while and so I got to know him a little bit but yeah go ahead yeah so anyway so so the
conference was good I know I know uh in fact um um so yeah it went good and and everything
went well but at the end I was just again uh just Dwight was talking about how he has helped a lot
of people and I know do I don't do you know Dwight I don't know him well I know who I know him I've
met him but I don't know him well or anything I just hang out with him a bit at Chris Black
of Youth Conference oh yeah I mean he's been here we've had okay we've had Shabbat dinners with him
and several other people here at my house a few times and he in fact he has a big vision and he
released it at my house to all of us on a big screen and I got to so I was the first person
that sewed into his vision and so where I call him another my other brother you know and I call
Shelly's husband my brother too those two are my like my brother so so Dwight's like my brother and
he kind of released his vision a long time ago one day with me and my roommate Sharon he said I
hardly ever tell anybody this and he just told us all kinds of things so so we kind of have a
connection right and he just he this was an unconference conference it was just supposed to
be the Lord doing whatever he wanted to do but Dwight pulls things out of you he has you right
down your visions your dreams your intentions your and he did this at the first one in December
and then he did it again but this time I mean it was just amazing some of the
the you know he's teaching us to release everything because we're bringing in everything
it's not him it's we're doing it together and then Greg taught twice on Hebrew but his Hebrew
went right in with whatever the Lord was doing and it was really amazing but what Dwight realized
at the end there he said I think everybody here is called to create wealth for the kingdom
and so and it was real small these these with with Dwight have been real small like 20 or less
people are around there and and Dwight's just so real and and then you know he's he has this gift
too like he'll he'll show somebody his camera because he feels led to show him and next thing
they'll go buy one and that's now their business that's it turned into this huge business he just
he just has this gift of so anyway so I I'm really feeling led to
maybe Dwight or I don't know Dale might the one that's mentored me to really um
do direct some more direct coaching some you know type of coaching life you know mentoring and so
I felt real led to talk to Dwight and I said Dwight I said I I just feel led I I need to dive
in deeper with some stuff and he said oh gosh and see he said some things that were kind of
hard for me to hear so I've been digesting them since
it's like saturday he said well karen yes he said he said it's time he said he said um oh gosh and i
was going to write it all down i haven't written it out yet but he said it's i can remember what
i need to tell you it's time he said the lord um and and you're right but he's you're ripe he said
but the lord says you've you've been too strong you're strong and you you can do things you can
do things and get things done and you don't even need the lord because you are just that you know
if you want something done you just you know get you can and he said in your uh he said but
you have power and you have authority he said and that authority's got to be harnessed and he said
and you also um and we've talked i think about this too but need to trust the lord
um more and come to him like a child because you know um he said and um
he said yeah because he said um what else did he say he said um lord help me here
rock help me remember he said um because you're you know you've just
you you know basically you know you've done it with kind of without trusting the lord and
without coming to him like a child and you're just so strong he said and people are intimidated by you
um because you you know and so a little later we talked and i said why would you pray about maybe
doing some classes with me because he's doing some mentoring now he's mentoring two people
and i went to the pre-class where they offered it but it was through it was through these other
people promoting him and if i do it i'd rather just pay him and do it with him yeah you know um
so he's praying about it and i'm praying about it um but then he came to me and he said karen yeah
you i see you know you're you're this real estate's just a job you're you're called to
create wealth i see you speaking he said but you're like god's got to get you know um
he said because this stuff if you know he just said okay it's dangerous this stuff could take
you out if you're not you know if you're not ready and and uh i didn't tape what he said
the second time but i wish i would because then he started elaborating on more stuff and you're
you know like a stallion and and you know and he said the real karen this is what he said the real
karen is just not it's just is ready to come i can't wait to come out yeah so anyway so i just
wanted to see i just felt like i was supposed to share with you and see what advice you have me
plus kens it's kens really on my heart yet it's been bothering me some too does you know i don't
know where that's going to go um and then we're also doing this class together so we leave the
conference and we both meet at this other class we know we're going to it's about we the people
this other thing we're involved in that i think is going to go across the nation it's about us
there's a there's really a way we can take our rights back that they left that's never been done
that's starting to happen alaska already did it michigan did it their state by state 38 states are
working on it right now i mean they're actually we're doing it at my spiritual mom's church is
where we're meeting and she's a whole bunch of her small churches all on board and my good guru
friend started it all and um wanted me to help head it up i'm like no i'll be like the whatever
but you're later but so yeah yeah and i'll i'll help recruit people and stuff but but it's it's
kind of anyway it's a another deal but it's um but anyway so ken and ken's like i'll see you at
the meeting so i see him there then his daughter's car broke down and he had to go back and help her
and um and uh she's just a sweetheart and you know and they've got to spend more time together
which is good um but anyway it's just you know with ken it's just like and now this you know
and i'm feeling kind of like hey lord who do you want who do you want to who do you want to meet
and ken and and this is the other thing dwight said you need someone to give you know like
give you direct things to do and like you know you need you need some real mentoring some you
know some what i forget the words he used you know where you're the discipline you know where you're
challenged to do certain things to help to help you and and i and i think dwight has that goal
because he mentors he also mentors several young men he's been doing that since he came to missouri
to missouri wow okay one guy came here from texas it was only 21 moved in the same house
with him working for greg and linda and he's been mentoring bryson for three years and yeah
Yeah. So he, he mentors. Yeah. So anyway, I just wanted your
thoughts on all this and what advice you have and your wisdom
and because it's been a hard place. I have to admit, it's
still, I still feel like I've been in a hard place. And I was
just like, came home yesterday from work and that, you know,
that deal didn't go through. Okay. And I'm working on other
real estate stuff, but I just came home from shopping and, you
know, I just wanted to, I just started crying. And I was just,
I just want to start crying a little bit now too. And so I
don't know, I don't know what else happening, but I know, I
guess I need to submit and surrender more to the Lord.
So first question that comes to mind is how would you describe
the hard place? Like what is making the place where you are?
Meaning emotionally with the Lord, with your situation,
whatever, what is creating, what's the root of the pressure?
Like what is making it hard? And let's start there.
Okay. Well, interestingly enough today, I've been reading Jesus
calling. I don't know if you ever read it. That's pretty
good. Today. It was on just, just go through your day
thanking him and saying, I trust you. And I think, I think part
of the root of it is, is if I really down deep haven't trusted
God, Ashley, I don't think I've trusted him.
Yeah. Yeah, which is understandable. I mean, you
know, I don't know your background, but I would just
imagine that based off of how you have responded, it gives
me, you had something to respond to, that there was that in your
life, there weren't things that you could, especially in a
foundational way that you could rely on. And so we project that
then onto the Lord, because we don't know what it's like to be
able to rely on the Lord. I mean, to rely on anything, let
alone Lord.
You know, sneeze.
Excuse me.
Thank you. It took a while to come out.
But anyway, and so it's, like I said, if you have just, if you
had in living life experience that, hey, I can't rely on or
count on other people to be there, or to support or to help
or to help execute or to stand with or whatever. If there's,
if there's an unpredictability and an unreliability, then we
don't expect, we don't have the experience to be able to expect
that of God either. Because all those other people I'm sure said
that they would do and be all those things. And then they
weren't. So here's God saying he'll do and be those things.
But why on earth would you expect that that's true?
Because, you know, there's no, there's no precedence that, that
that is actually a truth you can count on. And so anyway, it's,
it's very, it's very understandable based on, you
know, what I would imagine your past experience would be. And
again, that's strictly based off of what it is that I know of you
now. It's like, okay, well, that had to come from somewhere, this
strength that Dwight's talking about. And I had always noticed
that about you, especially during the inner is rest
conference. I had seen it the first time I'd seen it, you
know, at Chris's conference, because I don't know that you
and I had met, but I'd like seeing you in the room and
whatever. And, and I'm, and I have, I was, you know, some
people call it, you know, prophetic and all of that. So
regardless of what someone calls it, if someone says, Oh, well,
that's the gift of prophecy or whatever, regardless, the Lord
shows me things, I see things, I noticed things about people, my
husband notices about people when he's not even with them,
he'll just hear someone's name, or he'll get it even won't even
hear their name, he'll get it, people talk about someone else,
and he'll start getting pictures, and he'll start
understanding things about people, me, I usually have to be
in connection with them. So when I was in connection with you, in
other words, when I was in the same room with you, or I began
to talk to you, or whatever, immediately, this, the the
impression that I got, even before I talked to you, was a
tremendous amount of self reliant strength. And I don't
say that in condemnation at all. It's just, you know, again, that
all comes from somewhere that all comes from some from
wanting to rely on other people, and them not having been there.
So instead
Uh, and you could have made a different choice.
You could have made the choice of like giving up, but instead you push through.
And that's the choice you made in life.
Okay.
I am, I want this for me, or I feel this is right, or I feel this is good.
And I want to pursue what's right.
I want to pursue what's good.
And part of that, right.
And part of that good is protecting me is pushing through and
doing something to give me something.
And the, and the, all of those things are good.
So none of those things about you are bad.
They're all wonderful.
But the thing is that it can only get us so far.
And it means you don't get all of the benefit of being of experience,
being of experiencing, being loved on and protected and provided for by God,
where you don't have to do it yourself.
And then not only do you get all of the benefits with him that you have
received in providing it for yourself, you get more than what you're limited
to be able to provide for yourself.
And you get more of the Lord.
You get to experience him.
You get to experience the, his follow through on what it is.
He promised that he's going to do and promise that he, but it
is that he's going to be for you.
So I can completely, you know, agree with Dwight on so much of what he said.
The other stuff, it's not that I disagree with it's just that I'm like, oh, well,
I'm sure he knows Karen more than I do.
I'm sure he's hearing more about from the Lord than I am right now.
So, but of the pieces, you know, that there, there are so many things that he
said, I'm like, oh, that is spot on.
That's exactly, that's exactly right.
So anyway, and again, it's all good.
None of it's bad.
It's all good.
Um, you know what it reminds me of?
It's not the same thing, but it's the same principle reminds
me of Dr.
Oh, telling someone, um, you know, Dr.
Oh, you're familiar with Dr.
Okay.
So Dr.
Oh, was telling someone who'd been able to see in their spirit, their whole life.
It's someone that other people look at too, that goes around and teaches and
those persons well-known and whatever.
And they've seen each other.
They've seen the Lord and other in, in the spirit realm and their
engagement with the Lord, interacting with the Lord in the spirit realm.
They've seen all of those things in, um, uh, how would you put it?
They've seen all of those things, you know, in the spirit.
And what he told them was, uh, he told them.
You are going to have to learn to live it.
You're going to have to learn faith because he said the relationship that
you have with God of trusting him and believing him has been reliant on what
you've seen said most, most people don't see like you do in the spirit.
He told them, he said, one of the things that you haven't exercised is the faith
that's required to please God is believing in when you can't see and not
counting on any kind of evidence, because again, they weren't seeing it in the
physical realm, they were seeing it in the spiritual realm and because they were
seeing it in spiritual realm, they weren't relying on faith.
So it was just a very interesting way in which their unique relationship with
the Lord was re was requiring them to stretch in a way that they just weren't
normally being, they weren't normally being stretched in.
They didn't need to rely on faith.
And, but faith was needed in their relationship with the Lord.
So it reminds me of what Dwight was telling you of like, you don't need God.
In so many ways in your life, meaning like you can do it without him because
you're so capable now, sure.
We all have limits and you can't do everything without God.
But my point, my point was making the same point that he is of like, what it is that
you can, that you've been able to do is know how to harness all of the things that
God has created, all of these principles by which we can operate, et cetera.
And you've been able to learn these things that God created, the laws that he
created by which things should operate and, and know how to harness them.
And then not only did you learn how to harness them, you actually had the
courage to step out and risk yourself and your life and your business on
actually doing the thing, and then you got the benefits of it.
So those are all fascinating ways of honoring the Lord, which by the way, I
will remind you that receives great benefit from, um, uh, how would you put
that of believing God in a particular way?
It reminds me of how, how you've lived your life reminds me of Deuteronomy.
I don't remember if it's Deuteronomy two or Deuteronomy four.
I think it's in Deuteronomy two, where it talks.
where Moses is talking to the second group, the children of Israel that are the second go-around
to try to get into Canaan. And so right before they go into Canaan, he is reminding them, hey,
look, 40 years ago, your forefathers had the same opportunity that you did, but they didn't trust
God. They didn't believe God. They didn't have faith. They were too scared. They didn't do it.
But he said, understand, even the non-believers, in other words, the people that are your family
members, they were the descendants of Lot, and they were the descendants of Esau, the Moabites,
the Ammonites, and the Edomites. He said all three people groups were not chosen by God,
and yet they conquered their lands. God offered it to your forefathers, and like point blank
offered it. It's never mentioned it in the Bible that the Lord offered these three people groups
the land that they conquered, and they had to conquer. In other words, they had to fight
the same people group, the same giants that the Israelites were too afraid of. These three people
groups who were not the chosen of God, it is not recorded in scripture that God ever promised them
the land, but they looked at those same giants, and they, the Anakites, I believe is what they
were called, and they believed that they could conquer them, and that they could have the land.
But the Israelites, who got a point blank promise from God that they could do this,
didn't believe they could, and so they didn't, you know. But anyway, these people, it's not
mentioned how to promise from God, and yet they thought that they could, and therefore they did.
And it said God himself gave them the land, and he even didn't allow the Israelites to set foot
on that land, and it's the Israelites who were the chosen. So it mentions this either in Deuteronomy
2 or Deuteronomy 4, I think it's Deuteronomy 2. Anyway, point is, that's what your life reminds me
of, reminds me of these people, the Edomites, the Ammonites, and the Moabites, who were,
who did it on their own, but know that they still had more faith than the Israelites,
because they believed they could. They believed that is, in a manner of speaking, they believed
that God had given them that. Now maybe they didn't call it God, maybe they didn't think that
there was some great being and some great creator that they were relying on to enable them to
conquer this land, but they didn't see that they couldn't do it. They're like, why not?
And so they did it, and they're the ones who got the benefit. So that's what your life reminds me
of. I say your life, I'm not talking about your whole life, I'm just talking about like the aspect,
you know, that Dwight's talking about, about these things that you have such capability and strength
of doing. Understand that, yes, we do need to rely on the Lord, but before we talk about that,
and before we talk about the faith, you need to know, and you need to be affirmed in the fact
that you have had your own measure of faith, that God was good, you stepped out in it,
and you got to reap the benefits. More than people who got it, more than,
how do you put it, now you did it in your own strength, but you still believed God,
and therefore, and stood up and put works to it, in other words, actions to what it is you believed,
it's like, why can't I work for this? Why can't I try this? Whatever. So what God wants to offer
you though, is an extension of that. So he's pleased. He's pleased that you believed him to
that degree. He's pleased that you believed that there was no reason why you couldn't,
and why that would be denied you. So what Dwight's talking about, and what I'm talking about,
is not condemnation that you haven't done something, or that what you've done is bad.
It's good. God is pleased that you believed him to that degree,
but it's exhausting. And he said, I meant more freedom for you. I wanted to conquer the land
for you, but you conquered it. You at least believe me to such a degree that you believed
you could do it. You didn't believe I would deny you. So, Hey, here we go. You may not have called
it God. You may have just thought, Hey, I'm calling it an opportunity. So-and-so came to
me and invited me to be part, invited me to get my real estate license. Thought it sounded like
a good idea. I got excited. Why can't I do something that I want? And so you believed
him to that degree, even though you may not have called it God, I have no idea.
But the thing is that God is very pleased.
with, but he wants more for you. He's like, yeah, but you don't get, you're not living,
not just not living in rest. He said, you don't get to have aspects of me. You got to have this
aspect, you know, of benefits, you know, something that I offer, but it's like the prodigal son,
the prodigal son was still given the inheritance, but it was now disconnected from the father.
So all he got was something that could, that was basically ash because it just eventually,
you come to the end of it and it dries up, but he still gave it. That's what you've been living on.
And you're coming and you're feeling this spiritual sense that it's come to an end.
That you're like, okay, I've used up all of the inheritance because I took it
and tried to do it on my own. I took it from my father, left the estate and tried to use it,
but understand your father still gave it to you. He, he loved you that much. He's like,
Hey, you want it? I meant this for you. So I'll give it to you. I wish you wouldn't take it and
leave, but I'll give it to you. So understand you've been very much loved on by God,
you know? And so what, what happens now, what happens now is the prodigal returns home.
And I don't mean prodigal as in, you know, you're, you're bad. I'm just trying to draw
a connection between you always have a good father. And he's just like, Hey, aren't you tired?
Aren't you tired? Sure. You got, you, you used the inheritance to get what it is you now have,
but it ran out. So wouldn't you like it to continue? And wouldn't you like what continues
to be, um, uh, uh, to, to have eternity in it, to have spirit in it, to have me in it.
And if you come back to the estate and you exist there and you exist in that rest,
well, then you get to have a constant environment of, you know, being poured into by the father
where it's not ever going to run out and it's going to be eternal and all of that good stuff.
So what's being offered to you is by the Lord, I believe is what you're feeling right now in this,
in this, this pressure bias in your spirit is the fact that he's like, wouldn't I'm inviting you
to transition, but remember what you're transitioning from. You're not transitioning
from you've been bad. And so now let's be good. You're transitioning from having been loved on
by your father, where your father's been pleased with the fact that you believed into that degree,
but it's run out just because of the nature of the fact that it's disconnected from your father
and his spirit, meaning like it's disconnected from the source from which everything comes.
So because you used up everything that came from the father and you're just can, and that aspect
of like working really hard on your own and whatever is disconnected from your father,
there's no more source to pull from. So it's dried up. So it's like, okay, well, wouldn't
you like to just to have not just have a continual stream of, of provision because
you're operating within an environment of provision, but also wouldn't you like peace and
parcel of God? See, when you leave the estate with the inheritance, you don't have, you don't get
peace and parcel of God anymore, you know, whatever. So anyway, I just wanted to, to let you,
to affirm to you where it is that you are. You're not being chastised because you've been doing what
you've been doing. God's just like, isn't that exhausting? I've loved you through that. I'm so
grateful that you believed me more than others, even other, other believers who are trying to do
everything by faith, but they were still striving more than the other brother. You believe that I
was good. See the, the prodigal in a manner of speaking, believed that the, that the father was
good more than the older brother did. Because even though the older brother stayed there,
he stayed as the servant, never took advantage of any of the inheritance. The prodigal son
believed he had the right to the inheritance. So, and it was the thought, it was the prodigal son
that the father loved on so much when he came back and he was like, okay, so you want to do,
you want me to do with you? You want me to do this for you and you get to get the benefit of it. But
the prodigal son is the one who continues to get to choose to receive from his father. All of the
things that his father's offering as opposed to the older son thing. Oh, I just have to work for
it. So anyway, I just want to let you know. So all of this is always towards more love and freedom.
It's not escaping from shame and condemnation. It's just more love and freedom, more of the
father's gifts, more of the father's.
blessing, more of the father himself.
It's not just the father.
I talk about the father a lot again, because people, a lot of
times have issues with the image.
That's right.
Yeah.
So let's talk about father.
Um, so anyway, uh, so before we go on, I wanted to kind of like
establish that is where you are.
You're in a good place.
You're just moving from glory to glory.
You're just moving from one measure of faith to the Lord
and the Lord to a greater.
And, um, and so that's the invitation.
So the pressure's off the pressure's not, Oh my goodness.
I've been so bad.
I need to do all of this.
The repentance is strictly led by impromptu by God's kindness and
repentance isn't I've been doing bad.
Now I need to do good.
It's no, this was an old season.
This is the new.
It's simply the turning is turning into the new, because even when God is going
is telling you the things that you're supposed to step into now, there's going
to be a season later where God's going to tell you to leave this season and
to move into a different one.
And the word that is going to be used is repent, repent from the
season that he called you into.
That was obedience for you to step into and disobedience for you to not step into.
Once you're there, he's eventually going to say, okay, now I need you to repent
of this season and move into this one.
Repent, not of disobedience because why?
Because you obeyed him.
It's repentance is in like, Hey, I'm no longer doing this thing.
I'm now doing this one.
So let's turn from this one to this one.
Repentance is simply a turning from one direction to another.
So think of it more like you were moving from one phase and
one season in the Lord to another.
So anyway, so I just wanted to establish that as our foundation for move on.
So that's good.
Yeah.
And then another thing that's been kind of hard is that I did get an
inheritance from my father and I, and I have some of it, but it felt, but I, I,
I spent some in someone good, but it seems like some just kind of went
away and that feels kind of, um, and I, yeah, scary.
Yeah.
And right.
And, um, and you know, was I disobedient and, and I ran for, I ran for office
for a state representative five years ago.
It's I spent a bunch of money on that, but I felt it was the father.
And I mean, even when I went into real estate, it was like, I stayed at my job
till the Lord released me to go into real estate.
So I feel like I, you know, I, I felt like I was, and although, although
there, I think it's been a mixture, but I felt like, you know, I mean, he, he
even had me run a whole ministry for five years with his grace and brought
me a, a mentor that was wise enough and strong enough to help me through that.
I was like, so he's brought me through a lot of things that I know.
I know.
I mean, there's a few things I know he told me, you know, he spoke
one word to me 22 years ago, 2002, 21, whenever he just said restoration.
And that's the, like the only word that's reverberated in me.
Yeah.
And then he told me to make a ring.
The first time I read the Bible all the way through to make
a ring, like the breastplate.
Oh yeah.
And Holy spirit wouldn't leave me alone.
And I didn't even know, he, no Holy spirit talked to me till, till he told
me to make this ring and dedicate my life to the Lord and that's when my life.
So I, you know, so it's a little, it's just like, I feel like, and I know it's
been a, probably a mixture that I've had that I've trusted him in some things,
but I guess I had an ability and whatever, but like you said, there's no
condemnation, there's no condemnation in it and it's just, and the other
word Dwight said is God's cracking you up.
No.
He's crazy.
No, he's cracking you.
He's cracking you.
Yeah.
Which, which makes sense because you know, there's, there's so much strength
in, in that, in that unity, meaning like not your unity with the Lord, but like
the unity, your unity with self, it's just like just one solid thing.
So if he, if he breaks it, then it's it breaks the power of you being able to
stand on your own and continue to rely on that and it ends up being able, you
are then in a position to be reintegrated with the Lord in a specific way, which
then you will be stronger in that reintegration than you were before the
breaking, but it is the breaking is hard, you know, but it allows everything
to be reset, you know, as Chris Blackaby always talks about, allows
everything to be reset correctly now.
And it will now be stronger than it was before it broke, which is
always really, really fascinating.
But so anyway, and as far as like what you should do, like for like a, you
know, pursuing either Dwight or Dale.
for more mentor mentorship. I think it was Dale that you said was the other person that you were
considering. I don't remember. But so, you know, that's obviously I, I mean, I really have, I have
no idea. But I, so I don't really have anything that I'm sensing from the Lord about, I mean,
to know what it is that you should do. So I really don't know. But I did want you to know
you know, what it is that I was explaining about where it is that you are, and that this is just
more, it's just a, you know, I can understand why you're feeling the all of this pressure
in this particular, you know, time in your life. Because like what Dwight said, you know,
you know, God's cracking you. It's every he's, he's allowing the foundation to be shaken,
so that that which is unshakable will be the only thing that remains. And, and going through
that process is hard. And we can always feel and so this is basically what I'm trying to encourage
you in. When we're in those situations, and I've been in those situations even recently,
and I had to remind I had to remember this. I'm so glad that the Lord reminded me of this
when I was going through that, because you can feel like everything's wrong.
Yeah, like, it's not supposed to feel this way. It's not supposed to feel unstable,
especially a life with God, my goodness, you know, life with God is supposed to feel stable.
Well, no, God himself is always stable. Our relationship with him, and that that security
and being anchored in him that always creates a stability and a security. But it doesn't
mean that our whole lives feel like the all the rest of the aspects of our life are always going
to evidence stability in the way that we would term it. God always is. And that's another reason,
you know, just case in point, and why we should have that faith in the Lord is because he's
unshakable, so that as the rest of our environment, whether that be emotional, mental, or
physically the environment that we're in, not just nature, but like interactions with other people
or what our job what's happening with our job right now, and whether or not deals are falling
through or whatever, all of that is going to shift. Everything always has to shift in life
in order to in order to come into alignment with who it is that God says that it is and where God
says that it's supposed to actually be right now, it has to move from where it is to where it needs
to be. And that movement feels unstable. So, so it's just so think of what it is you're going
through is what's supposed to happen. It means everything's working. It's kind of like having a
baby, you know, there's all of the pain and all of the pressure and the expansion of the body,
and then all kinds of things that are going on. And you're and you know, if if you didn't know
that a baby's supposed to be coming out of this, you thinking something is majorly wrong people,
you go to the doctor, doctor, you figure out what on earth is going on, it shouldn't be like this,
I'm having lots of pressure, I'm having lots of pain, there's things that are constantly changing,
my body is doing things it shouldn't do. In fact, it only does these things normally,
when you're dying. So, so, so we can think that it's all bad. But really, what's happening is
your body is going through the process of birthing something. So it's what has to happen in order for
the thing to birth. So there are certain things that are like the new season that you'll be going
into there, it's it's a manner, it's a birthing. Now, it will birth as a baby, though it won't
birth as an adult. So the thing that comes might be hard to recognize as anything that's like,
very, I don't want to say very valuable, but very like, as, as healthy as not healthy,
as mature as contributory to your life, as you would want it to be at first glance,
and your first exposure to it. But it really, it's also very innocent, that whatever it is,
that'll be birthing the new season that you go into whatever comes out of you and your relationship
with the Lord, and what y'all start moving into, will be very precious and very innocent. And
there's nothing wrong with its immaturity. The image in its immaturity, it's innocent.
And it can be enjoyed strictly for that. And it's going to grow and it's going to be whatever.
But anyway, my point is that in order for that to happen, everything in you and around you can't
stay the way that it is, because it can't, not only can it not birth it, but it can't
It's your life is not only coming into order to be able to contain it, it's coming into
order to be able to to be able to make space for it, to make space for it, to be able to
handle the new thing, et cetera, because your current environment, situation, mental, emotional,
spiritual, whatever, can't handle the new thing.
It's could only handle what it is that your life has been, you know, during this current
season that it could contain, it could hold, it could support, it could do it, it could
provide what you and what it, what, you know, that particular birthing that you had done
prior to that to bring you to this thing now, you know, it could, it could do what it could,
it could handle and provide for that, but it can't do that for the new baby.
So anyway, what it is that you're, you're going through is part of the process.
What it means is that you've been having something grow in you for a long time, like a mother
holding a baby for nine months, you have been nurturing something between you and the Lord
and you haven't known what it is, meaning like you don't fully know what it'll look
like.
There might be certain elements of it that, you know, generally what it is.
Like for instance, a mother knows that it's a baby, but she doesn't know, you know, at
least until we had ultrasound, she didn't know if it was going to be a boy or girl.
She had no idea what color hair it's going to have, what color eyes it's going to have,
what its personality is.
So it's the same thing with what it is that you're, that you're birthing.
You don't fully know what it is, but don't let that, don't look at that, you know, and
this unknown of what it is, determine whether or not what you're going through is meaningful.
So what you're going through is because what is kind of come out on the other side is that
valuable that you have to shift to be able to contain the new treasure and to be able
to be, there's a word I keep looking for and I keep, I keep circling back to it cause I
keep trying to find it.
It's not be responsible with it.
It's not stewarded.
There's another word for it, but basically to be entrusted with it, you know, to it's,
it's more than stewarded.
It's like you're, you're being a parent to it.
You are providing for with it.
You're ruling it.
You're, you're giving, you're being king to, you're giving it whatever it is, that kind
of a thing.
So those are some things that I am sensing, you know, for you.
And I know it's not a definitive of like, should you, or shouldn't you, you know, have
mentor mentorship or with other people, but I believe that it, but what I wanted to do
was to assure you and kind of like help maybe define for you what it is that I'm seeing
you, your relationship is with right now, where it is that you are.
And then so that you then can use that as a starting point of your conversations with
the Lord.
Okay, Lord, you know, I've been thinking about, you know, mentoring and whatever, and I'm
trying to discover a Lord, is that you that's telling me to do that?
So, so anyway, part of the way that you can do that is, Hey Lord, you know, I have been
I've been resisting this transition time.
What you're going through right now, Karen is just transition is all it is that shift.
It's taking all of these things that fit this particular way.
Now they all have to shift into a different position.
You have to gain more, you have to expand, you have to stretch, you have to do all this
stuff in order to be ready for this.
That's all you're doing.
You're just going through transition.
I don't believe that what you're going through is like any kind of light.
Well, in fact, I mean, I know it's not, you're not going through any kind of like punishment
from the Lord or, you know, like major correction, the correction to punishment.
I do believe that there's correction is in like correcting our course be like, okay,
you're heading in this direction.
Let's correct the course, but it's not correction is in condemnate based in any kind of condemnation
or whatever.
Like what have you been doing or whatnot?
It's all, it's all an invitation.
So then the thing is, if you will start to, how do you get clarity from the Lord about
next, does he want mentorship for you and who with the way that you can get that clarity
as opposed to the confusion or the, whatever that may be your, that you could be struggling
with is to stop fighting your current transition.
In other words, internally to stop thinking, oh, this is bad.
This is wrong.
I need to get out of this or whatever is to do the same thing that a woman does in childbirth
is you relax into it and you let the pain come.
You let the pressure come, you let the whatever, but you don't fight it because the more that
you resist it and think, oh, it shouldn't be like this.
The harder, the pain will be the greater, the pressure, the more, the torment, the worst
that the sleep, all of that kind of thing.
So
So anyway, that's, that's what I would recommend.
You will move through the transition faster and you will more clearly hear the
Lord, because if we're thinking the transition just means that there's bad,
that we're in a bad place and we shouldn't be here, then we have a hard time hearing
the Lord because we keep holding it against him and be like, God, I either, I
am so sorry, we're apologizing for something.
It's not telling us to apologize for, or we're getting upset at him for us being
in this position or situation, God, why won't you move me out of this faster?
Or God, what have I done?
Why are you mad at me?
I haven't done anything or whatever, or God, you know, I'm just, just make it stop.
God's like, but you need it in order for me to answer the prayer that
you asked of me or whatever.
Right.
Um, so anyway, the more that you release it, the more that you're like, okay,
this is actually supposed to happen.
I'm supposed to feel this pain.
I'm supposed to this pressure.
And so the more that you're just like, okay, just let it be painful.
I know that that might sound weird, but what I mean is like, just allow the pain
to kind of come through you kind of like a cloud, like I was talking about
thoughts, allow the pain to just come and go and the pressure to come and go
without focusing on it and trying to fix it.
Okay.
Oh my word, that's bad.
What do I need to do to change?
If it just allow it to be so basically use the third tool of the rest shifting
is, um, is, you know, focusing on, uh, you know, not judging it.
It shouldn't be this way.
It should be different.
And, uh, and then you'll be able to more now that you'll, that will help you
emotionally release the outcome, emotionally release what you're going
through and not hold that against the Lord or against yourself.
And then you'll be able to more clearly, more clearly hear the Lord because
you've stopped resisting the process that he's taking you through to answer
the prayers that you've been asking him for of more of himself of expanding
you into the thing that you know, is, is in you that has to come out,
you know, or whatever.
So anyway, I know that we are three minutes to 11 and I, and I have time
to answer, you know, a little bit, maybe about, about, um, Ken, but, um,
you know, if you wanted that, but I didn't know if you needed to go to something.
Yeah, no, I'm good.
I'm good.
I have something at 1130, so I'm good.
But, um, uh, but yeah, and Ken and probably the same thing.
I know one thing, you know, I feel, I felt like the Lord must be dealing with him.
And then there's a girl that works for Linda and Greg also named.
I forget her name.
And I can't think of her name, but she, she said, you know, I didn't realize
that Layla was Ken's daughter.
We all, we all were at the A-frame and didn't pray together like a month ago.
And so Ken doesn't even tell me he, that's the thing.
He, he just doesn't.
Yeah.
Um, it hasn't in the past.
So, um, she said, I had a word for him.
She said, we all had a word for each other.
It was Dwight and Layla.
And she said, I remember telling Ken that he's, he's called
to be an Oracle on this earth.
And, um, yeah, yeah.
So, um, and she said, and I said, you know, and I've just, I can't briefly
told her, you know, what was going on real brief.
We were praying, we were just kind of, and I, I said, you know, and the Lord's,
you know, it's been hard to just let it go, but that's what I'm.
And she said, well, just imagine what happened when you really do.
If it's that hard.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
So how do you look forward to.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
So that's, so that's the other thing is, you know, and then, and
then I've been seeing him, you know, he's at the conference all weekend,
you know, and then he's at this meeting, you know, and, and, you know, I did, I,
what I did do is I talked to Dale and she said, why don't you just tell him, text
him something and tell him you'll give him the space he needs.
So that's what I did a few days after dinner, two or three days later, I just
said, Hey, how you doing?
Hope you're having a good day.
I just want you to know I'm, I'm giving you the space you need.
And, um, I love you.
I think that's all I said.
So I said, you know, and let me know if you want to talk sometime
or go, go eat or something.
Yeah.
So I did do that.
Great.
Um, so I kind of intentionally, you know, let him know, Dale said it might
be good if you just tell him that.
So, but it's still not been real easy.
Cause I, you know, I miss him.
Yeah.
You know?
Um, and that's the other part of maybe she's in that same thing.
Try to let that, you know, not, not that I try to ignore it, but just, um, let it
come and go and, you know, um, yeah, because the more that we, the more that
we let go of our, of our hands on it and trying to fix it again, so.
Similar to that, what we were just talking about, about the rush shifting tool of like
not judging, like the more that we stop trying to make it something that it's not right now.
In other words, we're like, well, it is this way and it should be this.
And so we're trying to change it.
And even emotionally, just, just, uh, focusing on it to the point of like, it shouldn't be
like this.
It should be different.
And that is even creating a resistance for it to be able to change because what we're
doing is we're actually, we're actually injecting into the situation, rigidity, meaning there's
no movement for it to change except for it to stay the way that it is.
As weird as that sounds, you know, because we were all told, you know, according to like
the kingdom of this world, you know, in education or whatever, that in order to get breakthrough,
you have to push really, really, really hard and you've got to like focus.
And in a manner of speaking, that is true, but you can't do it from the perspective of
rigidity.
You have to do it from the perspective of letting go and allowing movement and pressing
in and providing for it, what it needs.
That'll create the breakthrough, not this, not this doubling down on it.
That will eat that creates such rigidity that in order for it to actually change, it will,
it has to break first.
That's one of the reasons why we break is because we're too rigid for God to mold us.
I was like, okay, well then we have to break.
It's like, so stop being so rigid, stop being so, you know, whatever.
So there is that, but was there, is there something that you can help me on to guide
me as far as like what you, what you're struggling with specifically about kin?
I mean, cause there's all kinds of things I know, but like in general, what is like
weighing the most on you of like, okay, this aspect of the situation that I'm in with kin
is the hardest for me to be dealing with right now.
Is it the fact that you're just like, I don't know, I'm just like, well, I don't want it
to be like this or, or how can, you know, what does God want me to do in order to fix
it?
How to, you know, well, what if God won't let it work out?
I mean like what aspect of it, right.
And I will tell you, I wanted to interject real quick before I say that Michelle was
good to say, Karen, you know, I think what the Lord is telling me to tell you is to just
try to let go of all expectations of how it might work, how it might look and how it might,
how, you know, how he might work it out and how, cause I think that's, you know, that's
what I had been trying to, you know, figure out.
And, and the other thing is, you know, even if I think about it, it's like, how would
he ever put this back together?
Because I know, because I remember Ken, yeah, that may be one of the harder things that
may be part of what's hard is like, how will he ever, how would he ever do it?
Because, you know, Ken talked to where he talked to himself and he didn't even like
this house, although lately he's been okay here, but then, you know, then one day he'll
be like, I like nature, you know, I like nature because he had 10 acres.
I look out here and I don't see nature.
Well, I have a little bit of nature, you know, but it's just like, so it's like, there's
just so many things that goes, you know, we could layer it down, but it's like, yeah,
just kind of maybe really letting go is probably one of the hardest parts.
And also knowing God's gonna work it out for his good and for my good either way, you know,
it's just still kind of that.
Correct.
Yeah.
I said, correct.
Yeah.
And letting, and really letting it go, you know, to, you know, cause when I see him sometimes,
you know, it's, I mean, I was so glad he was at the conference and he was, you know, but
then I see it and kind of makes me want to be around him and makes me, you know, makes
me want to go to dinner with him or, you know, you know, he thanked me for having him over
for dinner.
Was that a week ago?
We could go today, maybe, or was it, I don't even know.
We go today or two weeks, but, but yeah, just, it kind of makes me want to see him and correct.
But even if I'm not around him, you know it's just, you know, so it's, I don't know, I guess
just really letting, letting God have it.
Yeah.
It is.
Right.
That is always the hardest part is that surrender, um, the, basically I was actually thinking
about this.
I think it was yesterday, um, about, um, about just how else to articulate what it is that
we're doing when we're surrendering, like what's the real choice that we're making.
And one of the things.
How can I phrase it for people in a way that helps them grasp?
Oh, that's what it is that I'm having to do.
And I don't know how much that this will help, but I'm hoping it'll help at least
get you a little bit further down the road.
You know how I've always talked about the fact that, you know, that ultimate
choice of light, you know, you choose God over your lifestyle and, you know, you
choose that, that you want him to be who he is and to be who he is when he's with
you, to be who he is and manifest that into your life, to be who he is, meaning
his character, and then to create your life from that character, same thing with
your relationship with Ken or whatever aspect, however we would describe or, or,
um, or identify it as, you know, well, is it Ken or is it the marriage or is it
like, how would God like categorize this thing?
Is it like having, um, uh, a partner, one that I in person that I'm on with, you
know, whatever, God, you look on this thing, whatever it is that you call that
Lord, I ask that that thing, whether it be my marriage or, you know, Ken and I is
one or whatever you want to call it.
I ask that your character create that thing in my life.
Um, yeah, create that thing in my life and make it look like what it's supposed
to be, including if that means that that place in my life is not marriage
or it's not marriage to Ken.
And again, all that I'm talking about is the, is the posture of surrender.
I am not saying that when we surrender something, God means, yeah, by the way,
you know, it's not marriage or it's not Ken, or it's, I'm not saying anything
like that I'm talking about when we talk about surrender, we have to
disconnect from the outcome.
Does it mean this?
Does it mean I will have the marriage?
Does it mean I won't have the marriage?
Does it mean I will have the marriage, but it won't be with Ken?
Does it mean that does it mean that God will say no?
Does it mean it's what I'm trying to do here is simply walk you verbally
through how to articulate this outcome that we're holding before the Lord.
So we can identify, oh, this is the outcome that I'm using against God in
accusation, or that I'm can't seem to let go of this is the thing I'm holding
onto, I'm holding onto this thing called this.
So you ask that God's that this thing, this part of your life that's meant for
marriage or whatever, that that part be created by his character.
Instead of it being what you being all of the, the descriptions that you've given
it, well, Lord it's marriage and it's marriage to Ken and it's marriage right
now, and it's, we've, we kind of take this place in us that God meant for,
you know, you knew it was someone else.
And then we put all these parameters on it, which is what Michelle
was referring to by expectations.
We've decided we've created a picture and a vision and a determination.
Lord, this is, this is it.
And so what we have to do in order to surrender in order to allow God to like
start doing the miraculous in both us and them and ourselves, I mean, meaning
like the two of you together is to just ask, okay, God, you know, could you
recreate this picture, re put it together, do whatever it want, recreate
this picture based off of your character, not in your character, actually
creating what this looks like, as opposed to you simply answering my
requests of what I've told you.
I want as if like, well, I want it to be yellow and I want it to be red.
And then I want it to be outlined in purple.
And I like, I'm giving you some specifications, you know?
So that's what we do.
Another way to word it is, is Lord, I choose you over.
I choose you instead of me.
I choose you instead of Ken.
I choose you instead of marriage.
I choose you instead of it happening.
Now it's that you're actually always choosing God over.
And instead of making a choice for all of these things that you define.
So I don't mean that this is easy.
And I just mean that, uh, it's, it's a way to start your conversations
with the Lord, where he can work in your heart and shift things that
will be pre that you will feel pressure.
You will feel pain, but it's a transition.
go from where you have the fact that you've been holding on to finally you let go the pressure
in the, in the, in the pain that that will happen of every as everything in you that has to shift
in order to be able to come into alignment with letting go, allow that time to be what it is.
Understand that the pressure and the pain that's going to come with, with changing your will
towards surrender, and just release yourself to the process that it's going to feel painful
and pressure it pressurized and just take the, just allow the pain to move through you
and the pressure to move through you. Don't think that it's here. It's not, it doesn't hasn't landed
in the house or on you to stay. It is something that is flowing and moving and move through it.
It's like your thoughts. Think of them as clouds. Think of the pain and the pressure as clouds and
understand this is what is needed in order for God to answer my prayer. This is God answering
my prayer right now. He's not even waiting until tomorrow. It's already painful. It's
already pressurized. I'm allowing God to change me until I can finally let it go.
So I say that to say, to release, not no pun intended, but to release the pressure from you
that you have to do it now. Understand you may not be able to, but you may be able to tomorrow.
You may be able to in five minutes, you may be able to do it next week. But so I just wanted to
set expectations that there might be this process and don't be scared of the process while you're in
it. Don't think, oh my word, something's wrong. I still can't give it over to the Lord. I'm still
struggling. It's still hurts. I still have all these accusations that I'm trying that I'm asking
God to like be with me in my negative emotions while I'm mad at him. And God's like, that's fine.
You can be mad at me. You can be afraid. You can have accusations, but don't turn your back for me.
Wrestle with me like Jacob asked me to address your anger. Now I may not address your anger,
but wrestle with me through this stuff. Face me in it and allow me to answer your anger,
your fear, your accusations. I may not give you an answer that sounds logical to you, but spiritually,
I will change your heart so that you don't need an answer from me because you've experienced enough
of me that your experience of me overcame your anger. It overcame your fear, even though I never
addressed it, even though I never gave you an answer to the question, but your experience with
me overcame all those negative emotions. So anyway, that's what I just wanted to kind of prepare you
because I knew that me just saying what I'm saying, all of that sounds great, but it can sound
like this huge leap from where it is that you are to where it is that God wants you to do. He wants
you to surrender. And you're like, Hey, look, I've been trying Lord. So just a lot. So you'll go
through this process and it could be short. It could be longer and don't be afraid of the process.
Understand that is God answering your question. Cause you've asked God, would you move me into a
posture where I can surrender? So God's like, okay, let's start moving. And so just, just allow
the pain and the pressure to move through you like a cloud and not resist it and think it's
wrong. And it shouldn't be like this. No, it's everything in you that is shifting to come into
alignment so that you can finally surrender. Does that make sense? Yes. Well, and I even remember,
um, I don't know, a couple of months ago, I guess just crying one night, just, just crying out. I
think I might've told you that Ken was here even, and he tried to come in and console me because he
was in the living room when I was in the bedroom and I was just crying and just like, it was God
and me. And I was just talking to him from my heart, just take away the idols, take away everything
that needs taken away, bring things to order. And that's the night that I just really cried out to
him and Ken came in and was trying, and I couldn't even look, I couldn't even really look at him.
Yeah. Cause it was just, I was having an encounter with the look with father. Really. It felt like
father even. That's great. Yeah. Good. That's wonderful. You know how to do this. You know,
how to meet your father. All you have to do is the, the, the, the threshold that you uniquely
will run into with your father, based on y'all's experience together, you'll run into a particular,
you'll run to an edge, you'll run to a border and that you run into a border and trying and
getting and walking closer to him and moving more deeply into.
them, you will run into a border and then you're going to have to
fall into that place of unsafety.
So, you know, we all have to do that.
We all have, we all have those points.
And sometimes it depends on, on our relationship with the Lord and where it
is that we are with him in certain areas, in certain areas, our borders way back
here, and then in other areas, we we've stretched and our borders up here, you
know, that we believe God to this degree, you know, or we believe God to this
degree or whatever, but eventually we do get, but, but we always have some
border to which we don't believe him past, to which we're afraid of him, to
which we're like, not sure if we can entrust him with our emotions or whatever.
So, or our situation or our marriage or whatever.
Um, so anyway, just, just ask him to take you through this process, but I wanted
to kind of give you some guidelines of like, okay, this is where you're going.
This is what you'd ask of the Lord.
And this is what the process will look like.
And this is how to interact with the process.
So that goes faster.
There's less resistance, that kind of thing.
So yeah, I think so.
Yeah.
I know you still have to do it, but I wanted to give you some, some
assurance of like, okay, this is what's going on, but we all still have to do it.
Um, so, but anyway, but yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I felt like you had some wisdom to, to give.
Well, I'm glad it was helpful.
So I'm going to, in this, um, when this finishes, um, uh, hopefully,
hopefully I'll be able to do it today.
Um, you know, this will be uploaded with all your other transformation
sessions, you can watch it.
So I think this'll be a, yeah, this'll be a helpful one.
Yeah.
And I don't know if this is connected, but many years ago when I was new, even
in the church, one of my friends, she, one day she's, she just said, you are
going to, you are birthing many things and yeah, yeah.
You have a lot to in you that needs to come out.
That's great.
She also said your birth, that you're birthing many ministries.
Very cool.
And, and then someone else in another, who was it?
Said you're so God's got to forget to put, put something in you.
That's, that's going to go up to those that are seemingly over you.
Okay, great.
So that's always, I've tried.
Yeah.
I've tried to remain in a humble place with that because that's
kind of carrying something that, um, and then the one other thing they said, there
was a sound or something going to come to me that was going to be used.
I was going to come through, through me or through, it was going to be released
in this area, like here, and I wondered if that wasn't all that was brought here
through all the people that, you know, through Cedar Creek, because I'm like,
I'm the only person in my town that's really goes up there.
Yeah.
Um, yeah, I don't know.
But like Dwight said, we, we have to remain in that humility.
Yeah.
Um, that's exciting.
Good.
Thank you.
This has been helpful.
I'm so glad.
And, um, and so I, um, you know, just, well, if I may, may I just pray over you
before we leave?
Yes.
Yes, absolutely.
Laura to pray that, um, you would be with Karen.
Thank you so much for, um, the, the heart of humility that you have placed in her,
um, for how she has, um, for how she's chosen to follow you for how she's chosen
to see you that you see that she's been able Lord when others haven't Lord to see
you as tremendously good, that she had the faith to step out and believe that you
were good and believe that she could step out and, and, um, uh, and receive her
inheritance.
And so we pray that you would give her more rest that you in you, that you would
give her more peace that you would, um, show her Lord how to surrender and let go
of things so that now you can carry the load.
You can carry the burden, the way, the responsibility, the outcome that she
enjoys more and more, the, uh, the opportunity to just ride with you.
Thank you for everything that you poured into her.
Thank you, Lord, for how she's blessed.
Ken for how she's blessed the old ways for how she's blessed the people.
Dwight Dale, the people that are at Cedar Creek for how she's blessed me for how
she blessed the ladies in the rest intensive.
Thank you for everything in her spirit, Lord, that she gives out, um, her, her
joy, her hopefulness, her optimism, her, her, um, uh, her solid view Lord of who
it is that you are, uh, and pray that you would, um, just do in her.
what is needed in order to allow all of these things within her to come out all of these
wonderful things that you've put in her to birth to express to change creation and pray that she
and Lord I stand into an agreement with her that you would that you would position her
to be able to and walk her through emotionally and entrust with you Lord and safety to be able
to let go of of Ken and the marriage so that she can have it so that she could enjoy it so that
she can have what you've gifted and that so that the burden of like keeping it all together when
you know if if it be your will Lord which I don't know but I would hope and believe that it would
be Lord for them to for them to stay together Lord that when they do that that she wouldn't
carry because because she sustained something Lord by how it how it and how it's birthed and so that
she would release it to you and that everything would come together regardless of and and without
her doing anything so that she would know that she can rely for the rest of her life on it being
sustained by your goodness and not by anything that she has to do or she has to make sure she
keeps correct pray that you would just release her that you would release the heavy burden off of her
and then give her rest and I release Lord in in your spirit um thank you Lord for what it is that
you have done in me and I um and uh Lord from that place the Lord of being one with you and being in
your spirit Lord um and being united with your spirit um from my spirit Lord I release um from
heaven and from that union Lord rest Lord into Karen's life that she would expand into her spirit
um and that she may experience more of that rest from you into her life in Jesus's name amen
all right thank you Ashley you're welcome always good to see your joy your smile I appreciate it
it lightens my day thank you you too all right you have a real good day okay all right I will
I'm gonna get a massage later nice very jealous I'll talk to you later bye bye