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Hi.

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Your hair looks great.

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Long again.

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Four and a half hours later, here we are.

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I know, takes a long time. I know mine.

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It's one of those is not and smile.

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Yeah.

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It's just like, whatever.

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Yeah.

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When you first met me, he's like, you mean you were driving 14 hours from

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Colorado back to Texas just to get your hair done?

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It was like, absolutely.

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I mean,

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I had gotten her.

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I got invited to this.

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Like Swiss Chalet in the mountains of Colorado.

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It was amazing and beautiful.

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And there was going to be a group of girls there.

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And I was like, oh,

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I have to go back in two days.

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And I was like,

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I don't know how many hours to get there.

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And I was flying out the next morning.

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We weren't dating or anything at the time.

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And she's like, oh, I have to go back in two days. And I was like,

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Why?

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Oh,

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Opened up for my hairdresser.

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And I was like,

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So, and she's like,

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Oh,

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You don't ever mess with a woman's hairdresser, you know?

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And I was like,

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Oh,

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I don't know.

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It was amazing.

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The place.

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I was like, well,

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I just.

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It's another one of those mysteries.

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Yeah.

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Do you froze there? Did we.

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Yeah, you froze. I was like,

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Oh,

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Yeah, I know.

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Well, I'm hoping it's.

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It's not our internet.

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It'll be okay.

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But anyway, so he came in with this,

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he came into the marriage with his eyes wide open.

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It's like, she's one of those.

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Yeah.

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But anyway, so your hair looks great.

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Oh, my goodness.

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Keep freezing.

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You'll be able to hear us.

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So this is my husband, Ed.

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In Norway.

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Yeah.

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Yeah. She spent a lot of time in the U S including even here in Texas.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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My friend's lives in Austin. So it's like.

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Family in Dallas. And I'm like, I've never been to Texas.

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I'm like, I need to go.

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It's on my list.

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That's right.

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You have a very American accent.

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I'm American at heart.

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Even have my little flag up on the corner, up on the counter. So.

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You're weird. I'm like, it's okay.

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Yeah.

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It's nice to hear that.

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People always pointing out what's bad and wrong about America.

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It's nice to hear that.

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People do recognize some of the nice things about it.

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I'm just like, you know, we could talk about the good things too.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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And that is the one who gifted me the tickets to.

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Oh, okay. Great.

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Anyway, did, did you enjoy the virtual conference?

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I mean,

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I was able to be at like fractions of it. So.

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Yeah.

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Yeah. They do that in order to incentivize people to attend live.

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So anyway, so, but Ed, I'm so sorry about the, about the time change.

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And apparently it wasn't going to be what we all thought it was. And so,

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so Ed has a previous.

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Appointment.

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At three 30. And so he was going to be with it.

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He's just going to be with us for half an hour, but anyway, so the,

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the pointed, but I'll be able to, you know, continue with you.

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You know, after he leaves.

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But so the personal ministry time is different than like the

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transformation sessions. Cause transformation sessions are about,

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you know, questions people have about rest in particular areas.

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And then are you familiar with like inner healing things at all?

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You know, where you would go to the Lord. Yeah. I figured you would be.

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So did you do any YOM stuff with them?

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Renata or not?

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No, I've done Iris. I've been to Bethel a lot though.

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I've been to Bethel a lot though. Done there. So, so. Okay. Yeah.

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That's right. And in fact, that's where she met Pedro,

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the guy who did a hundred X is she and he were, were at Heidi Baker's

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place.

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Yeah.

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Same time. Yeah.

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I've met several people from Iris that went through that whole.

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Went through the ministry.

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Season where everywhere I went, I was meeting Iris people.

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Everywhere. And they would know each other. It was a strange thing.

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Like I would go and they were like all in the same class.

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Yeah, I met people from Australia, in North Carolina, and that when I was in Jerusalem,

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I met a guy from Alaska, who was one of their classmates, and he had an iris Nepal shirt

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on and I was like, Oh, hey, man, so kind of some people from there, we started talking

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and sure enough, they were, you know, he used to sneak over because they were married, he

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used to sneak over to their side, because the married people had the best food.

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You know, because, you know, they would, he would sneak over and they would take pity

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on them, and they would feed them.

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And so there was a whole mess of people in Jerusalem, they were all Irish people.

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And I noticed commonly, that they were all transient, they were all going make sense

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somewhere like they were just come back from India, or they had just come back from wherever,

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but none of them were, you know, Israeli, you know, so it's just bizarre.

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So anyway, iris, I've met Heidi before, I mean, briefly, and so that's great.

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I've always I always thought about going there myself, actually, I had a prophetic word about

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somebody was there, I just gotten somewhere and they were like, I keep seeing the iris

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of the eye, I feel like there's a connection that you're supposed to have with iris in

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some way.

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And anyway, it's a whole long story.

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But so anyway, nice to meet you.

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Yeah, you too.

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And so you're, yes, yeah.

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So you're then therefore familiar with like, inner healing and stuff.

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And so that is Ed's background, even before he was at Morningstar Ministries, and you

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know, that he was there for seven and a half years.

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So the years prior to that, for a few years prior to that, he was with an inner healing

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ministry that I even got an opportunity about a month or two ago.

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Oh, yeah, when this started, and I said that I was in some training.

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It was at the training, you know, that he had already gone through years before and

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that he like became part of the ministry to help them with.

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So this is even more of his wheelhouse than mine.

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And that is that, you know, when in shifting into rest and all of that, we there's, there's

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a lot of this stuff, even when we do that, when we believe God in new ways, there's all

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kinds of stuff that comes up that, that we just kind of need the Lord to address.

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It's like, even though he, he answers our prayers and all of that, there's almost like,

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he likes to go, there's, there's damage that has been done.

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There's stuff that hurts stuff that just hasn't been reconciled with, with the Lord, meaning

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like reconciled by his love, not necessarily reconciled as in like, okay, Lord, now I understand

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why you did that or whatever.

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Sometimes we're just like, Lord, surely there was an easier way.

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Why did you do this?

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Or why did you allow this?

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And so sometimes that still just needs to be, we just need that to be addressed by the Lord.

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So that's what some of this time is about is just kind of like, for you to just tell

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us like, what really is on your heart, like, you don't have to go like fishing around for

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something or whatever, but just like, what just kind of naturally comes up is something

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that's important to you between you and the Lord that we can stand in agreement with you

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about and that maybe you could get some, that we could just help be, be participants.

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And like I said, stand in active agreement with you as you're seeking the Lord, Lord,

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this is something that I'd like from you.

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I'd like you to heal and address this part, even if you don't answer my deep hearted question

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of like, why, why did this have to happen?

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Or why did you do this?

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Or why did you allow it?

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But really, you know, Lord, could you touch that place so that it actually removes the

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sting that's there so that all of the damage that's been done, you know, in, you know,

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from that point up until now, just gets just not only gets cleansed, but it just, it gets

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fixed that that bone was broken.

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Yes.

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So we're not denying the reality of what happened, but Lord, you come in and you fix it, you

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reset it so that now those aspects of my life are stronger, even like in your, even

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in your history, it goes back and he heals stuff so that now you get to not only be healed

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now, but you get to bear the benefits of God having gone in your history and like changed

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the damage that was done to, so that it's so that you no longer, so that all those aspects

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of the past of your life, you know, meaning like the internal struggles that you were

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dealing with are, uh, have been, have been touched and restored and there's no longer

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all of these broken pieces or struggles or whatever.

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So anyway, that's what all of that, um, what all of this time is about.

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So, so anyway, do you have anything perhaps that, that comes up that's, you know, on your

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heart, but in general, just kind of like what's going on with you?

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How are you doing?

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Yeah.

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Um, there's a lot, there's a lot.

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things going on. Um, so I just like briefly, since you don't,

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well, I don't know how, like, since we just met. I'm here in

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Norway. But so what happened I had. I was engaged back in 2010.

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Well, that's when I broke off the engagement six weeks before

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getting married. And that's when I became a Christian. Like

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before that, I remember, I've been talking to God. And I've

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been like, if this doesn't work out, I'll become a Christian. I

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swear, like, those were my exact words. Lo and behold, six weeks

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later, there you go. So my life was in, you know, I was just

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like, didn't know up or down, like what was happening. Um, but

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that's when I started going to church. And like, he started

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going to church, you know, and I was like, Oh, our test is gonna

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be our testimony. We're gonna work this out. Well, dodged a

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bullet. It was all good. Like it's, it's, but that's when I

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started, I feel like the, as soon as I went to started going

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to church, which got to talk to me about seven years prior, just

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like driving past. Um, I had heard, you should go there.

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There were some cool people there. And I was like, okay, I

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didn't really pay attention to it. But then when all of this

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happened, that thought came back. And I was like, I wonder

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what's there. And so I googled it and it was a church. And so

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I went to Renata, who has been praying for me at that time for

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probably 17 years. Bless her. She's very steadfast. Um, and

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anyway, so I was like, okay, it's time for something new. The

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first thing that happens is that God takes me to California. Um,

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when I was 13, I told my mom, I was like, just so you know, I'm

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going to go to the States, I'm going to go to school there, get

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married and stay there for the rest of my life. She's like,

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okay, well, you know, that'll be fun. Um, she was a bit more

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concerned when I left in like 2014. She's like, um, you're

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coming back, right? I was like, I hope not. Um, because I called

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up my wedding started going to that church got introduced to

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Bethel. Anyways, it's a long story. I ended up quitting my

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job at a in the oil industry, taking a severance package, and

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then moving to the States to attend Iris leader school. So,

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um, yeah. So that was like the whole journey. And it was all

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I've just always had this amazing, like, enormous pull

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towards the States. And God has just been connecting me. I was

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telling Ashley with like all these. It's just like all the

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most random people been very connected into the Nordic Oscar

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thing has been going there every year. Then I met Pedro, you know,

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through Shara, who was Heidi's personal assistant. Um, so I

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know Heidi's daughter better, like, that's who I hang out

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with. But it's all like Iris, LA, Iris, Hollywood thing. So I

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think that's one of the things I went there. And I thought I

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wasn't going to come back, came back, been back for a while. And

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then the last, last fall, I heard God say, you're going to

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transition out of your like the company where you're working,

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you're going to transition out of there. And I thought, yeah,

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you know, I'm going to meet somebody or he's taking me to

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the States, like something exciting is happening. And then

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I'm going there in March. And I just had the sense, like, if

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nothing specific happens, I need to kind of let that go. So I was

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like crying on the way home, you know, because I'm like, Oh, this

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doesn't work out again. And I just heard God say, I'm not

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asking you to give up the dream. I'm just asking you to

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surrender. So I was like, well, that's easy. Not. And, yeah, and

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then my, my father ended up passing away, like a couple of

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months after that. So. So that's the whole thing. And in that,

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there's a woman who's been, I get I think, in I don't know if

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it's an all of America, or if it's only in Texas, but there's

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a law that's called entrapment. And that's pretty much what she

248
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did. So we've now had to go to a lawsuit. So we just handed in

249
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like a lawsuit two weeks ago, which I'm super uncomfortable

250
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with. But it's like, yeah, the lawyers are like, this is what

251
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you have to do. So yeah, so that's where I am in the midst

252
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of all that. And then I started a new job, can't really find my

253
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footing there. And now, a previous boss of me just called

254
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me for an interview, like, let me know today. And I so how so

255
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I feel like I'm in a very much of a transition. I have like

256
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people looking at the apartment doing stuff. And I just feel

257
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like something's changing. I just don't really know what

258
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um yeah and then on top like what we've been talking about obviously is the weight thing

259
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like I think that's my protection thing where I was on a really like that's always been a struggle

260
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in my life but then um I did really good and then after my father died it like yeah spiraled out

261
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again so yeah so I think that's kind of like me and um that's me in a nutshell so there's there's

262
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plenty of things to kind of um yeah I don't I don't really know like what's at the root of

263
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something you know like um one thing I was thinking was with this like lawsuit thing I'm like

264
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oh is there something what's it called like where people are trying to like cheat you out of things

265
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like I don't know but yeah um so yeah yeah yeah yeah so um yeah so what I had written down um

266
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and I don't know what all of this means was uh when I looked at you the first thing I I

267
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I saw I was I heard was like star-studded and that um I I saw I heard star-studded and I saw

268
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like almost like there were seven stars now whether the seven stars are seven things or

269
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seven stars or seven people I saw it almost like an arrangement and then there was something about

270
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California uh and I felt that there was a favor on your life and that there's a in the season you're

271
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in there's like a realignment or an alignment period of vision and so what it let me collect

272
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my thoughts again so what it some of what I feel like is going on it's like there's aspects of

273
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of you that's foundationally that's very strong and that there's a newness of your life maybe

274
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it's your newness in your relationship with God or whatever where you're still soft and malleable

275
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and God is is trying to bring the elements together to more conform to his vision for you

276
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so that you can see yourself almost like the Gideon kind of thing where you're known in heaven

277
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in one way but you see yourself in a way and those things don't align and so an analogy that I would

278
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give would be uh like um I didn't think of myself necessarily I had all the qualities to be a leader

279
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but I didn't necessarily think of myself as one uh I never thought of myself as a forerunner for

280
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instance right well then my history and then the people I was around all of a sudden like I'm around

281
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all of these leaders all the time and I heard somebody say how do you know if you're a leader

282
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like are you around like who are you around are you around a bunch of leaders you know and then I

283
00:18:00.880 --> 00:18:07.920
started developing a history that was contrary to my mindset which was like I would start something

284
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through no and it felt like to me like they were all divine accidents like I

285
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I would joke and said if if Gabriel came with a flaming sword and said I dubbed the prophet

286
00:18:18.480 --> 00:18:23.040
you're right it would be I would be nicknamed the incidental prophet because it's like

287
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it's like I'm accidentally prophetic all the time you know and so so there were all these things

288
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that I would go into uh some people called me a plowman or whatever and things would begin and

289
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then God would move me on to the next thing and it seemed to everyone like it was all about me

290
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somehow like I intentionally did this but I didn't it just was incidental to me being there

291
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and at some point I had to accept the fact that a forerunner is part of who I am and what I am

292
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and I think in a sense there's some of that that's going on in your life I think that there are some

293
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aspects especially when it comes to favor and this whole thing about star-studded I feel like there

294
00:19:05.920 --> 00:19:11.920
is like you have a lot of favor with meeting like as you can tell you some of this in my own life

295
00:19:12.480 --> 00:19:18.320
you have this favor on your life to meet really important people you know there's a favor on your

296
00:19:18.320 --> 00:19:23.120
life like these stars I really feel like they're like people and I don't think it's just like stars

297
00:19:23.120 --> 00:19:30.640
like famous people but I feel like there's almost like a gift of connection that you have that isn't

298
00:19:30.640 --> 00:19:38.560
even into one arena so I think that there's probably if you're not already in in uh in

299
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relationship we'll call it that with people that are famous like Hollywood whatever you want to

300
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call it or artists or things like that there are also leaders and you know like thought leaders

301
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industry leaders and there's going to be this collage of of people

302
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:02.040
That you have met and you're going to meet.

303
00:20:02.260 --> 00:20:07.440
And it's almost confusing because with so many connections to so many different

304
00:20:07.440 --> 00:20:13.600
things, it's like a scatter diagram or something like, God, what are you doing?

305
00:20:14.080 --> 00:20:14.640
Who am I?

306
00:20:14.640 --> 00:20:16.240
What am I supposed to be doing?

307
00:20:16.500 --> 00:20:18.480
Where am I supposed to be putting my energy?

308
00:20:18.740 --> 00:20:20.820
What am I supposed to set my heart upon?

309
00:20:21.320 --> 00:20:23.400
And then there's promises that you gave me.

310
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None of these things make any sense to me.

311
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I don't see how this is coming together.

312
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You know, and it's like, and it's like the Lord, it's almost like he's

313
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saying, you haven't lost your mind.

314
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You're not crazy.

315
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You know, and, um, and I feel that there is a, an aspect at some point

316
00:20:43.600 --> 00:20:50.460
where one of the stars is you, you know, there was a movie I used to talk

317
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about that was called almost famous.

318
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And it was, uh, it was just, do you know that movie actually, actually

319
00:20:57.600 --> 00:20:58.880
had no idea what that movie was.

320
00:20:58.880 --> 00:20:59.160
Right.

321
00:20:59.440 --> 00:21:01.560
But you're around famous people.

322
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And at some point you are being treated like you're famous, but

323
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in the end, you're really not.

324
00:21:09.040 --> 00:21:10.680
You're just connected to them.

325
00:21:10.680 --> 00:21:12.040
You're just, they're famous.

326
00:21:12.040 --> 00:21:13.840
You're just famous because you're near them.

327
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And, and that's how I walk around and I would feel a lot of the time.

328
00:21:18.280 --> 00:21:18.680
Right.

329
00:21:19.000 --> 00:21:23.800
And I think the Lord's trying to, to ingrain in you that that's not your story.

330
00:21:25.080 --> 00:21:26.760
You're not the almost famous one.

331
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You're not the one that's famous because you know, famous people, that there's an

332
00:21:31.720 --> 00:21:35.600
aspect of the things that these people carry that he's wanting to embed in you.

333
00:21:36.040 --> 00:21:39.640
And that there's almost like a level of confidence that he wants to instill in

334
00:21:39.640 --> 00:21:45.040
your identity and about who you are, that I'll give you the strength to be able to

335
00:21:45.040 --> 00:21:47.480
stand up and stand with these people.

336
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As a, as a friend of mine or ours used to say, Ed, you need to stop looking

337
00:21:54.360 --> 00:21:56.400
at these people like they're above you.

338
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They're your peers, you know, not your, your, your, your idols or your heroes or

339
00:22:06.040 --> 00:22:12.440
whatever, you have to get to a place where you see yourself in a way in, in

340
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humility that, that you're one with them.

341
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That's why you keep getting connected to them.

342
00:22:18.000 --> 00:22:20.760
Because I kept saying, you're going to ask Ashley, like, I don't know

343
00:22:20.760 --> 00:22:21.960
why I keep meeting these people.

344
00:22:21.960 --> 00:22:25.560
Like, I don't know, like I haven't done anything to meet all of these people.

345
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Like, this is crazy.

346
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Like, this doesn't make any sense.

347
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And I'll tell her, like, she'll tell you, like, I'll go like, it's so strange.

348
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I was just thinking about this person today and, uh, and blah, blah, blah,

349
00:22:38.320 --> 00:22:40.520
who they are and blah, blah, blah is what they did.

350
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And that's so, that was such a strange meeting.

351
00:22:43.000 --> 00:22:44.320
I don't know how that ever happened.

352
00:22:44.320 --> 00:22:47.840
And we walked downstairs and they're there the next day and it's like,

353
00:22:48.320 --> 00:22:49.280
and they don't live there.

354
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Yeah.

355
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There.

356
00:22:51.160 --> 00:22:54.600
And I, I feel that there's a, there's a grace on your life.

357
00:22:56.800 --> 00:22:59.320
I think being a carrier of presence is going to be one of

358
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the hallmarks of, of you, of your being.

359
00:23:02.160 --> 00:23:05.040
There are people that I meet that have a gift of healing.

360
00:23:05.040 --> 00:23:08.440
And there are people that I meet that are just like, they are healing.

361
00:23:09.480 --> 00:23:17.360
And I feel that there is a aspect of your life of, um, a little like that

362
00:23:17.760 --> 00:23:21.640
incidental profit thing that I was saying, that, that, that there's a,

363
00:23:21.680 --> 00:23:27.720
there's a grace on your life to release almost incidentally, uh, all the

364
00:23:27.720 --> 00:23:30.400
God has into any given situation.

365
00:23:30.960 --> 00:23:36.680
And for me, then I'm not trying to like put a kinship towards us here, but for

366
00:23:36.680 --> 00:23:43.000
me, I had, I started to rest in that because it's like, I almost prefer that.

367
00:23:43.000 --> 00:23:47.560
Because then I can't get in the way and I can't take credit for any of it.

368
00:23:48.880 --> 00:23:49.360
Right.

369
00:23:49.440 --> 00:23:54.080
It's like all of these accidents, which was frustrating in a way, you know,

370
00:23:54.080 --> 00:23:57.280
because I felt like I was getting credit for all this stuff that I didn't do, or

371
00:23:57.280 --> 00:24:01.240
I didn't feel like I did was really God's grace and protection over myself.

372
00:24:02.480 --> 00:24:03.120
Over me.

373
00:24:03.640 --> 00:24:06.800
And I feel that there's an acceleration getting ready to come into your life.

374
00:24:07.480 --> 00:24:12.880
And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

375
00:24:12.880 --> 00:24:17.320
and there is probably some rearranging and healing of some things within you.

376
00:24:17.960 --> 00:24:23.080
Uh, they're not inhibiting you, but they, they create vulnerabilities.

377
00:24:23.160 --> 00:24:23.840
I would call it.

378
00:24:24.360 --> 00:24:27.240
And it's like sore spots, you know?

379
00:24:27.360 --> 00:24:34.000
And it's like, if you have a bruise, you ever like bang your toe and then it's

380
00:24:34.000 --> 00:24:38.000
like, you hit the same toe four times in a row and you don't know why.

381
00:24:38.560 --> 00:24:40.000
And, and it's a little like that.

382
00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:45.480
When you have a bruise, it's like, it's just easy to just keep getting poked there.

383
00:24:46.000 --> 00:24:49.840
And I, and I don't necessarily think there are big gaping things that

384
00:24:49.840 --> 00:24:51.320
need to be dealt with in a way.

385
00:24:52.280 --> 00:24:56.280
And if you've spent any time at Bethel, you've been through sozo, you've probably

386
00:24:56.280 --> 00:24:59.920
done all that kind of kind of thing, but I, I feel like there's a, an.

387
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:07.040
alignment of the things around you and the things within you that is preceding a release and a

388
00:25:07.040 --> 00:25:15.520
launch. And I feel like not only your launch, I feel that there is a launch that is that you're

389
00:25:15.520 --> 00:25:23.040
going to be a part of the building of platforms and the releasing of people and the launching of

390
00:25:23.040 --> 00:25:28.320
people into their destinies. As a matter of fact, there's something that brings order.

391
00:25:29.280 --> 00:25:34.080
And this may not seem like your current life, okay? Things may feel like it's all over the

392
00:25:34.080 --> 00:25:40.480
map and you're like wild and whatever, but there's a level of order that's coming on your life where

393
00:25:40.480 --> 00:25:45.920
there are things that God is desiring to build upon the earth that he's given to other people

394
00:25:46.480 --> 00:25:52.240
that will never ever make it to earth if there's not somebody to help them build what that is.

395
00:25:53.200 --> 00:25:57.760
And I feel that not only are there things for you to build and things that God's wanting to do

396
00:25:57.760 --> 00:26:05.360
for you and through you and to you, but he's going to use you as the catalyst and the facilitator

397
00:26:05.360 --> 00:26:12.400
to help people solidify and bring to earth what God's wanting to do. And sometimes that's having

398
00:26:12.400 --> 00:26:17.520
the know-how and the structures and the organization and the things, the skills that

399
00:26:17.520 --> 00:26:23.200
you have in the natural to be able to do it. And sometimes it's really, you're talking to someone,

400
00:26:23.200 --> 00:26:26.960
I bet you this happens all the time to you. You're talking to someone, you see somebody's

401
00:26:26.960 --> 00:26:33.040
face over top of them and you think, oh, have you met blah, blah, blah. Like I'm thinking about

402
00:26:33.040 --> 00:26:38.080
this person right here, right? And that's God's gift to you. And that these things are going to

403
00:26:38.080 --> 00:26:44.160
see a rapid acceleration of people being able to do and explode forth into things. And you're

404
00:26:44.160 --> 00:26:51.600
going to be part of that. And so I think that you, at some point in the next three to five,

405
00:26:51.600 --> 00:26:56.000
three to five months and three to five years, you're going to start seeing you being invited

406
00:26:56.080 --> 00:27:00.480
onto teams with people that you don't feel like you have any business being teamed up with.

407
00:27:02.960 --> 00:27:06.400
And I think that you bring a whole lot more to the table than you believe that you do.

408
00:27:08.320 --> 00:27:13.760
Right. And there's also like a little bit of the promise of Jeremiah when he would say,

409
00:27:13.760 --> 00:27:20.400
but Lord, I'm just a youth, you know, you want me, you're saying all these things, but I'm just this

410
00:27:20.400 --> 00:27:28.160
kid like, and he's going like, no, no, no, don't say that. I'm going to put my word in your mouth

411
00:27:28.160 --> 00:27:32.400
and I'm going to watch over my word to perform it. And I think there's an aspect of you in a

412
00:27:32.400 --> 00:27:37.120
similar sense that it's like, who cares if you feel like you came in late to the party,

413
00:27:38.000 --> 00:27:41.440
God's going to make up all of that difference. And you're not just a youth

414
00:27:42.400 --> 00:27:46.320
that you're not just some kid, right. And that your words have power.

415
00:27:46.880 --> 00:27:51.360
And there's an aspect of healing in your life. And I think it's going to manifest in the actual

416
00:27:51.360 --> 00:27:56.320
healing gift itself. I feel like you're going to be a part of the redeeming, the restoring,

417
00:27:56.320 --> 00:28:03.200
and the renewing of people in many different places. As a matter of fact, I see doors opening

418
00:28:03.200 --> 00:28:11.520
to key people in industry and other leaders on thought leaders that is going to open for you

419
00:28:12.240 --> 00:28:16.800
that no one has access to, and you're going to be a big part of bringing them to healing and

420
00:28:16.800 --> 00:28:22.560
restoration. And then they will then be able to be used by God in a way and touched by God that

421
00:28:22.560 --> 00:28:27.520
they never ever would have been able to. So I don't know if any of that makes any sense to you.

422
00:28:28.480 --> 00:28:33.760
It all makes so much sense. Some I've heard before. So that's like confirmation, but

423
00:28:34.560 --> 00:28:39.600
mainly it's just like, yes, this is like my dream. Like this is like, I would love for nothing more

424
00:28:39.600 --> 00:28:45.760
than to be able to help people launch into whatever, like, I want to see the kingdom of God,

425
00:28:46.480 --> 00:28:51.040
you know, like, I just want to see it grow. And I, yeah, it's been one of my main frustrations

426
00:28:51.040 --> 00:28:55.680
where I'm like, ah, there has to be like, actually, you know, like there has to be more like,

427
00:28:55.680 --> 00:29:03.120
yeah. And I can feel it like I can feel it in my spirit. And I'm just like, but I, and I think

428
00:29:03.200 --> 00:29:10.400
that's part of my frustration where I'm just like, which is why it was such a God sent to have like,

429
00:29:10.400 --> 00:29:16.080
you know, the rest intensive and going through that, because I think there was just part of

430
00:29:17.680 --> 00:29:24.640
like, I can feel something is coming. This really resonates. And I just don't know, where do I focus

431
00:29:24.640 --> 00:29:29.680
my energy now? Like, do I stay where I am where I'm like building things and I I'm just being like

432
00:29:29.680 --> 00:29:35.360
a bouncy ball, like I am being sent all over, like, I'm helping them with a lot of stuff,

433
00:29:35.360 --> 00:29:39.600
but it's just exhausting, you know, and I'm like, well, I can do that. But it's just like,

434
00:29:40.640 --> 00:29:44.640
and then I think at this other job, it's like, it's going to definitely be more chill. And it's

435
00:29:44.640 --> 00:29:51.680
more about competency building and leadership development and all of that. So it's going to be

436
00:29:51.680 --> 00:29:59.840
more what I've been doing lately. And I just don't know if like with this job.

437
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:06.080
that I landed in or cause that was just like sent to me on text and this court case and everything

438
00:30:06.080 --> 00:30:11.680
like it, it's me and my friend were talking about it the other day. And it's like, it's almost like

439
00:30:11.680 --> 00:30:19.760
there's this, um, it's like the devil wants to like exhaust me because he knows something's

440
00:30:19.760 --> 00:30:25.440
coming. And it's like, if I can just exhaust her that she'll be too tired when it comes that she's

441
00:30:25.440 --> 00:30:30.800
just going to have to say like, no. And I'm like, no, that's not happening. So, but I'm just like

442
00:30:30.800 --> 00:30:36.800
a really weighing, where do I go? Like, what is what, you know, like, um, yeah. So yeah,

443
00:30:36.800 --> 00:30:42.720
thank you. I had a pastor that used to say it was the only thing he remembered from seminary

444
00:30:43.280 --> 00:30:48.240
from this one, from one professor. And the guy said, son, if the devil can't make you bad,

445
00:30:48.240 --> 00:30:55.600
he'll make you busy. And, uh, you know, I think, I think for you, there are the doors and it's

446
00:30:55.600 --> 00:31:00.880
discerned. The true discernment isn't good from evil. It's good from almost, you know, good. It's,

447
00:31:00.880 --> 00:31:06.640
it's the turning good from God from in me, I would say yes to anything that was God. And then I ended

448
00:31:06.640 --> 00:31:13.680
up in a mess, uh, because there was more God than I could figure out what to do with. And it was

449
00:31:13.680 --> 00:31:19.120
discerning between what's good and what's God, because there are a lot of good things, but they're

450
00:31:19.120 --> 00:31:23.920
not necessarily, I think that's why the Lord, the model we have is I do only what I see my father

451
00:31:23.920 --> 00:31:30.800
doing. So some of your nose are going to be the most pivotal things that you, that you will ever

452
00:31:30.800 --> 00:31:38.080
do. And, um, I think there's probably is of some other layers of healing. They're going to come

453
00:31:38.080 --> 00:31:44.000
available. I have a, have an idea or two of what some of that may be. So maybe at another time,

454
00:31:44.000 --> 00:31:51.440
if you know that the opportunity opens, we can kind of explore that. Um, and, uh, like I can't

455
00:31:51.440 --> 00:31:56.000
go there now, but I I'd like to know a little more if your relationship with your parents and

456
00:31:56.000 --> 00:32:03.280
your dad in particular stands out to me. Uh, and, uh, I think there's some, I think there's some

457
00:32:03.280 --> 00:32:09.200
peace and release and healing in that one particular area that God wants to do for you.

458
00:32:09.760 --> 00:32:17.840
Yeah. There are some unsaid things that you hold in your heart, uh, that, that are, there are stones

459
00:32:17.840 --> 00:32:22.400
of weight that God doesn't want you to carry anymore. And I don't know what that stuff is.

460
00:32:22.400 --> 00:32:29.280
I don't need to, but, uh, just know that if the, if it's needed, I'll commit myself, uh, however you

461
00:32:29.280 --> 00:32:34.480
guys, you know, need it. If, if that, that comes with need or if time opens up, I'll make time for

462
00:32:34.480 --> 00:32:40.960
it. And I'm sorry that we got our, our daylight savings times, things mixed up. Um, I don't even

463
00:32:40.960 --> 00:32:46.080
know when ours is. I mean, cause we have it, we just haven't had it yet. Like at least put it on

464
00:32:46.080 --> 00:32:53.520
the same time. What are they doing? It has been wonderful meeting you. Unfortunately they have

465
00:32:53.520 --> 00:33:00.400
something else I have to go to, but, uh, I have no doubt there's amazing things, um, to come for

466
00:33:00.400 --> 00:33:06.880
you. I see other places, not just the U S is like Singapore and Hong Kong. And, you know, I see like

467
00:33:06.880 --> 00:33:10.560
Melbourne and Sydney, I see all these things. So I think you're going to have a lot of travel

468
00:33:11.200 --> 00:33:17.040
in your life also. Um, and they're just going to be invitations, you know, you're not going to have

469
00:33:17.040 --> 00:33:22.480
them knock any doors down. Uh, and some of the invitations, some of the goals you're going to

470
00:33:22.480 --> 00:33:27.200
get from God, the invitations that will come when you get there, it's not going to be the invitation

471
00:33:27.200 --> 00:33:33.840
itself. So anyway, I'm sorry, I got to go, but God bless you. God bless you too. That was amazing.

472
00:33:33.840 --> 00:33:42.960
Thank you so much. So, so anyway, do you have any, I mean, I know that you basically just told us,

473
00:33:42.960 --> 00:33:48.080
but do you have any other thoughts that you hadn't, um, hadn't verbalized yet about, I don't

474
00:33:48.080 --> 00:33:55.360
know, any of that or no, I think it's just like, that's just super encouraging. And it's, um,

475
00:33:56.400 --> 00:34:03.760
it, it it's like, it's encouraging to my heart obviously. And it's just, um, and it makes sense.

476
00:34:03.760 --> 00:34:10.080
I think like with this, I, cause I, I said, yes, I'll, I'll attend the interview probably sometime

477
00:34:10.080 --> 00:34:18.239
next week, but it's like, um, I'm trying to, well, like I probably have to like seek God when

478
00:34:18.239 --> 00:34:24.480
it comes to jumble, like, yeah. Or I don't know if that's what we do here or like, but it's just

479
00:34:24.480 --> 00:34:31.440
the sense of like, what do I do while I wait? Cause I like, I know he told me don't give up

480
00:34:31.440 --> 00:34:35.840
your dream. Just let it go. So, so that speaks to my heart where I'm just like, cause I just had

481
00:34:35.840 --> 00:34:40.480
the sense that, well, he's going to be the one who has to open the doors. Cause I really can't,

482
00:34:40.480 --> 00:34:47.440
you know? And then I've had this one word over my life where it was like, oh, um, I just,

483
00:34:48.480 --> 00:34:55.520
I see you writing and it's like, it goes out to other people. Um, and, and, um, Isabel Allum,

484
00:34:55.520 --> 00:34:59.760
I don't know if you've known, uh, know her, she was with the Toronto thing.

485
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.360
Yeah, I don't know.

486
00:35:02.360 --> 00:35:09.160
Yeah, she's, she gave me this amazing word also about, which I was reminded of now which,

487
00:35:09.160 --> 00:35:15.740
which is like, oh, there's going to be like a creativity that is gonna be what God uses

488
00:35:15.740 --> 00:35:22.880
me to win back for his kingdom, you know, and I don't necessarily know what that, that

489
00:35:22.880 --> 00:35:23.880
makes sense.

490
00:35:23.880 --> 00:35:24.880
Yeah.

491
00:35:25.880 --> 00:35:29.080
Yeah, or like what that looks like.

492
00:35:29.080 --> 00:35:35.600
And so that's where I'm like, do I stay in this job that I've just been in for seven

493
00:35:35.600 --> 00:35:40.740
weeks now this is the seventh week, or do I if I will I need to get the offer first

494
00:35:40.740 --> 00:35:45.440
but if I do get a job at this other place do I go there.

495
00:35:45.440 --> 00:35:50.280
I've had a very sense of temporary, like, what's it called like I felt like the job

496
00:35:50.280 --> 00:35:52.880
where I am right now is going to be very temporary.

497
00:35:52.880 --> 00:35:53.880
Yeah.

498
00:35:54.880 --> 00:35:57.840
I just don't know if I'm sick is now they're selling the company so I don't know if it

499
00:35:57.840 --> 00:36:00.120
has to do with that.

500
00:36:00.120 --> 00:36:05.440
Or if, like, because now I got like what is saying to like all is, is it they're going

501
00:36:05.440 --> 00:36:10.920
to be an image because some part of me is feeling like at some point you're just going

502
00:36:10.920 --> 00:36:18.400
to need to jump and go, you know, because one part of me is just like, I really like

503
00:36:18.400 --> 00:36:22.800
getting a steady paycheck at knowing what is going on, you know, and then I, it's like

504
00:36:22.800 --> 00:36:27.240
part of me knows that's not my life, like that's not going to be my life, and I'm not

505
00:36:27.240 --> 00:36:34.620
necessarily happy in it but part of me really likes it so I'm not sure if anything will

506
00:36:34.620 --> 00:36:42.040
happen before this court Kate's thing, you know like is over with and then maybe.

507
00:36:42.040 --> 00:36:47.180
I mean if we win that some finances will be freed up to where I will be more flexible

508
00:36:47.180 --> 00:36:51.280
to do things, obviously so yeah.

509
00:36:51.280 --> 00:36:59.280
I guess that is what I'm thinking now like, oh, I guess like agreement and like the court

510
00:36:59.280 --> 00:37:04.000
case going supernaturally fast and just like just need it I just don't need it, I would

511
00:37:04.000 --> 00:37:06.760
like for it to just be over.

512
00:37:06.760 --> 00:37:08.680
Yeah.

513
00:37:08.680 --> 00:37:14.440
And then, and then it's like, what am I going to do with like work, and because the thing

514
00:37:14.440 --> 00:37:18.700
is this new position, well I don't know what it's like but that's in like City Hall so

515
00:37:18.700 --> 00:37:20.660
I feel like it's more.

516
00:37:20.660 --> 00:37:29.380
It could be busy, like, it could be like busy during the day but I still feel like you.

517
00:37:29.380 --> 00:37:33.860
It would free up more time in my day, if that makes sense I'm like, oh, I could walk to

518
00:37:33.860 --> 00:37:38.580
work and walk back so I get my steps and, you know, then I just have 30 minutes where

519
00:37:38.580 --> 00:37:44.220
I have to work out, and you know what I mean like it'll free up time to be able to do stuff

520
00:37:44.220 --> 00:37:51.340
like deep more like deep dive into rest or like Pedro's thing like I have that whole.

521
00:37:51.340 --> 00:37:54.300
I don't know.

522
00:37:54.300 --> 00:37:57.820
I have that whole like crush it with challenges thing I have.

523
00:37:57.820 --> 00:37:58.820
Okay.

524
00:37:58.820 --> 00:37:59.820
Yeah.

525
00:37:59.820 --> 00:38:03.820
But just let me know if you want to look at it.

526
00:38:03.820 --> 00:38:07.180
Um, yeah.

527
00:38:07.180 --> 00:38:08.760
So yeah, so I don't know.

528
00:38:08.760 --> 00:38:13.340
And then there's that and then I think the weight thing is maybe for like the there I

529
00:38:13.460 --> 00:38:19.500
also don't know if there's something hindering like me just like, or even with the whole

530
00:38:19.500 --> 00:38:24.860
rest thing I feel like it's like, it's, it's like I almost get it but I don't quite get

531
00:38:24.860 --> 00:38:27.980
it it's like, I can't really grasp it.

532
00:38:27.980 --> 00:38:33.100
And I know if it gives you encouragement I was just talking to someone at Pedro's conference

533
00:38:33.100 --> 00:38:40.900
so my friend, Lindsay Venzel, she's someone if you have you seen her my interviews with

534
00:38:40.900 --> 00:38:44.940
her on my Facebook, personal Facebook page.

535
00:38:44.940 --> 00:38:46.540
I think I've seen one.

536
00:38:46.540 --> 00:38:49.740
She's the one that was with brain cook.

537
00:38:49.740 --> 00:38:50.740
Yeah.

538
00:38:50.740 --> 00:38:51.740
Yes.

539
00:38:51.740 --> 00:38:52.740
Yes, exactly.

540
00:38:52.740 --> 00:38:56.220
So her father in law so Bruce's dad so you remember that the that the platform that I

541
00:38:56.220 --> 00:39:02.100
had the rest of them on that is Bruce and Lindsay's Pedro a day or uses that tribe so

542
00:39:02.100 --> 00:39:08.860
all of this stuff is now on that thing well anyway so Bruce's dad is a consultant for

543
00:39:08.860 --> 00:39:12.340
Pedro and has been for the past 13 months.

544
00:39:12.340 --> 00:39:21.020
He also is the guy who co teaches with a Graham cook like he's like the president of Graham's

545
00:39:21.020 --> 00:39:25.540
company so like Graham owns it and all of that but someone needed to be in that functional

546
00:39:25.540 --> 00:39:31.980
office role and so that's him point is he helps co teach the edge with Graham cook which

547
00:39:31.980 --> 00:39:34.180
is for business leaders etc.

548
00:39:34.180 --> 00:39:37.460
And so I got to sit down and visit with him I didn't know he was going to be there so

549
00:39:37.460 --> 00:39:40.780
it was very exciting because Lindsay said hey I've been meaning to connect you with

550
00:39:40.780 --> 00:39:45.900
my father-in-law because y'all teach the same thing you teach about rest and teach about

551
00:39:45.900 --> 00:39:49.620
like business from us it was like this is great so anyway I got to sit down and talk

552
00:39:49.620 --> 00:39:58.420
with him and he was shocked that my rest intensive is only six weeks he was like I was like because

553
00:39:58.420 --> 00:40:00.020
I was just talking to him.

554
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.360
different things. I'm like, Hey, this is how I run it. And this is what I teach. And he's just like,

555
00:40:05.360 --> 00:40:10.640
actually the only red flag really that's coming up is the fact that it's only six weeks long.

556
00:40:10.640 --> 00:40:17.600
He's like, you know, people really can't get it in six weeks. It was like, well, I just do my best

557
00:40:17.600 --> 00:40:21.760
because I'm thinking about what is something that's a little consumable for people to think

558
00:40:21.760 --> 00:40:27.040
that they can dedicate themselves to. Right. And plus I do it in a very, in a much more intense

559
00:40:27.040 --> 00:40:32.160
format that I think they do. I think that they spread out their times a bit more and me,

560
00:40:32.160 --> 00:40:35.680
I meet more often. And I think it's a little more intense. I could be wrong. But anyway,

561
00:40:35.680 --> 00:40:40.160
my point is as encouragement from someone else, who's doing the same thing I'm doing,

562
00:40:40.160 --> 00:40:44.400
like walking with people. And he was like, giving me the voice of experience.

563
00:40:45.440 --> 00:40:50.240
Actually six weeks is a very short time. So I'm saying that as an encouragement to you,

564
00:40:50.800 --> 00:40:56.240
that it's like, that he's like, actually, how are you doing six weeks? People need more than

565
00:40:56.240 --> 00:41:00.960
that. I'm like, I know, but it's basically just an introduction for people to just help get them

566
00:41:00.960 --> 00:41:06.560
as far as I can, you know, as they're able to. So don't be hard on yourself. It's something that

567
00:41:06.560 --> 00:41:12.720
took me longer than six weeks. Of course, what it means though, is that because I pioneered it,

568
00:41:12.720 --> 00:41:17.040
meaning like I pushed through and like, I didn't pioneer the idea because other people are doing

569
00:41:17.040 --> 00:41:22.400
it. But the thing is, I didn't have someone to really, to really guide me through what I was

570
00:41:22.400 --> 00:41:27.920
doing and what was going on. So it took so much longer. So because of that, I can condense the

571
00:41:27.920 --> 00:41:32.800
time for other people because I've learned how to articulate things. I didn't have anybody to

572
00:41:32.800 --> 00:41:36.640
articulate for me. I just kind of had to discover it and then figure out. So with the Lord, you

573
00:41:36.640 --> 00:41:42.720
know, so what's going on. So anyway, point is have compassion for yourself that even this guy,

574
00:41:42.720 --> 00:41:46.720
who's like, he does it with business leaders or whatever. He's like, I was just, this is a very

575
00:41:47.680 --> 00:41:54.320
time. He's like, we as people have a lot to unlearn. We have this old perspective. So anyway,

576
00:41:54.320 --> 00:42:00.560
be kind to yourself. It really is. Okay. I'm not discouraged in any way. Like I'm super encouraged

577
00:42:00.560 --> 00:42:05.360
and it's, um, and I know I'm going to get there. It's just sometimes I get frustrating. So I think

578
00:42:05.360 --> 00:42:10.560
I've locked into the weight thing because I'm just like one, that's been one thing that I've

579
00:42:10.560 --> 00:42:16.000
been struggling with my entire life. And I think it has to do with like being bullied when I was

580
00:42:16.000 --> 00:42:22.160
younger. And then I started eating, you know, to like overcompensate. And then when things were

581
00:42:22.160 --> 00:42:27.040
difficult with my parents, I would eat, you know, I would eat for comfort. I would eat for love. I

582
00:42:27.040 --> 00:42:33.760
would eat for like all these things, you know, that we all do. And, um, and so for me, I think

583
00:42:33.760 --> 00:42:38.880
I've just kind of like held on. I was just telling Renata, I was like, I feel like that's a thing.

584
00:42:38.880 --> 00:42:44.960
Like if I can get it, I can transfer it to other things. That's like one thing that's going to be

585
00:42:44.960 --> 00:42:52.160
very visible for, cause I was listening again today with like the losing weight and rest. And,

586
00:42:52.160 --> 00:42:58.640
and at one point you say, um, well, you can notice if you want to be there, but you're not really,

587
00:42:58.640 --> 00:43:04.480
you know, uh, and you're still, you know, and I'm like, that's exactly where I am. Like,

588
00:43:04.480 --> 00:43:08.560
I want to be there. And I'm like, yeah, it's good. And it's like, oh my gosh, why are you doing?

589
00:43:09.280 --> 00:43:15.360
Like, and it's like, God, how do I really release it? Like, what is it that I'm so

590
00:43:15.360 --> 00:43:23.120
like protecting myself? Hold it like, yeah. Um, Oh, nevermind. Go ahead. And then, um, I have,

591
00:43:23.120 --> 00:43:27.600
I have something for you that Renata was asking this question. Cause she said that you and she

592
00:43:27.600 --> 00:43:33.280
are holding yourselves accountable to each other for all this. And she, she was running into some,

593
00:43:33.280 --> 00:43:37.840
some stumbling blocks and she said that I helped her over there stumbling blocks.

594
00:43:37.840 --> 00:43:40.720
So I thought, well, I'd repeat them for you just in case it helped, but go ahead.

595
00:43:41.600 --> 00:43:45.920
No, no, no, no. I was just, I was just thinking that, oh, is that like,

596
00:43:47.440 --> 00:43:52.080
you know what I mean? Like, I don't know if it's there like a spiritual thing hindering that,

597
00:43:52.080 --> 00:43:58.480
you know what I mean? Like, or is it like, um, it's yeah. I don't know if it's something that

598
00:43:58.480 --> 00:44:06.880
needs to be like, this is where I get confused too. Like, like, um, um, even in moving forward,

599
00:44:06.880 --> 00:44:12.800
like even the, the, the word that it gave me now, like, okay, well, how do I hold it? Like,

600
00:44:12.800 --> 00:44:19.600
how do I write it down? How do I push into it? You know, like where, um, I receive it fully,

601
00:44:19.600 --> 00:44:23.840
you know? And I'm like, that's great. And it's like, well, what do I do it at all? You know?

602
00:44:23.840 --> 00:44:31.440
And, and like, when do you, um, when do you go in and prayer and fasting? And when do you like

603
00:44:31.440 --> 00:44:36.800
war over it? And when do you not, or can you just rest in it all? You know, like, yeah.

604
00:44:37.760 --> 00:44:45.680
Yeah. Well, generally speaking, I believe that everything's always, I say generally,

605
00:44:45.680 --> 00:44:49.840
okay. Cause then I changed my, my sentence halfway through. So let me back up.

606
00:44:51.120 --> 00:44:56.960
Always done from a place of rest. Yeah. When you quote unquote war,

607
00:44:56.960 --> 00:44:59.760
cause even God talks about that.

608
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.400
That is always done though from rest.

609
00:45:03.400 --> 00:45:10.120
So it's not an either or it's not a, do I rest or do I war or to I do this or do I press

610
00:45:10.120 --> 00:45:11.360
into it?

611
00:45:11.360 --> 00:45:15.160
You do all of those things, but doing them from rest.

612
00:45:15.160 --> 00:45:20.920
And so as opposed to thinking you have to leave it in order to battle, um, if we're

613
00:45:20.920 --> 00:45:26.680
battling it by leaving rest, that's in stress, that's in strife, that's in sweat, that's

614
00:45:26.680 --> 00:45:28.900
a lot of work and a lot of effort.

615
00:45:28.900 --> 00:45:30.780
And then you're going to have to maintain it.

616
00:45:30.780 --> 00:45:37.820
You have to, you have to match and then overpower this, uh, with this, with, uh, you have to

617
00:45:37.820 --> 00:45:43.240
match the strength that's coming at you and then you have to gain more than it does.

618
00:45:43.240 --> 00:45:44.240
That's just exhausting.

619
00:45:44.240 --> 00:45:50.820
So you can battle though, but from the place of rest, which is an effortless overcoming

620
00:45:50.820 --> 00:45:54.700
of the thing that's coming against you or the thing that you're trying to like press

621
00:45:54.700 --> 00:46:00.620
into or whatever you press into it, knowing that it's already been given to you and you

622
00:46:00.620 --> 00:46:08.260
are just standing in agreement with it, um, with the Lord through the process of manifesting

623
00:46:08.260 --> 00:46:09.260
it.

624
00:46:09.260 --> 00:46:12.540
In other words, through the process of it finally coming into reality, I don't mean

625
00:46:12.540 --> 00:46:17.940
you manifesting it as in you're doing it like the law of attraction manifestation.

626
00:46:17.940 --> 00:46:23.820
I mean, the fact that you and God are pressing into it together to co-create until it finally

627
00:46:23.940 --> 00:46:24.940
shows up.

628
00:46:24.940 --> 00:46:30.380
Um, but you do it from the place in which God is creating the outcome.

629
00:46:30.380 --> 00:46:32.240
You're partnering with him.

630
00:46:32.240 --> 00:46:37.440
So you're not bearing the burden of what happens as a result of your action.

631
00:46:37.440 --> 00:46:42.900
You're just carrying, not caring, but you're walking in and flowing in the responsibility

632
00:46:42.900 --> 00:46:51.380
to God of interacting with him and the same communion with him and doing this with him.

633
00:46:51.380 --> 00:46:56.660
And then as a natural result of you focusing on this, this will happen.

634
00:46:56.660 --> 00:47:00.340
You know what it is that y'all are moving towards because he's the one that's doing

635
00:47:00.340 --> 00:47:02.380
it, but you are getting to be part of it.

636
00:47:02.380 --> 00:47:04.780
You're getting to partner with it, but you're not focusing on it.

637
00:47:04.780 --> 00:47:07.460
You're focusing on him and then he creates it.

638
00:47:07.460 --> 00:47:09.600
So that's how we press in together.

639
00:47:09.600 --> 00:47:14.100
That's how we quote unquote, you know, with the Lord and that's how we battle with it's

640
00:47:14.100 --> 00:47:20.280
because it's with leaving the outcome to the Lord, leaving the battle for him to win.

641
00:47:20.280 --> 00:47:25.440
And all we have to do is focus on the Lord while partnering with him in the process of

642
00:47:25.440 --> 00:47:27.840
actually getting the thing done.

643
00:47:27.840 --> 00:47:35.000
But the getting the thing done is not, um, is not, uh, our actions aren't carrying the

644
00:47:35.000 --> 00:47:40.720
weight of getting the thing done or just the actions of being part of the process.

645
00:47:40.720 --> 00:47:41.720
Yeah.

646
00:47:41.720 --> 00:47:48.640
Cause even cause I feel like even now with like the court case or like the job or everything,

647
00:47:48.640 --> 00:47:54.000
I think some things that I've usually done is just like go to worship, be in worship.

648
00:47:54.000 --> 00:48:01.160
And I'm just like, I've like, I've been saying a lot, like, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm coming

649
00:48:01.160 --> 00:48:06.680
at I'm, I'm praying from victory, not towards victory.

650
00:48:06.680 --> 00:48:13.320
And I'm like, um, declaring from like, so, so when I saw when you were, were explaining

651
00:48:13.320 --> 00:48:18.040
about the levels, I was like, oh, I've been saying this all along, but I've never understood

652
00:48:18.440 --> 00:48:19.440
it.

653
00:48:19.440 --> 00:48:20.440
Cause I've never seen it visually.

654
00:48:20.440 --> 00:48:26.760
And like, I'm like, get it now, like, and the 160 and 30 folds, but then I don't really

655
00:48:26.760 --> 00:48:33.440
know when I'm at, uh, the faith level where I feel like, oh, now I can just speak in authority

656
00:48:33.440 --> 00:48:36.320
and things are just under my feet, you know?

657
00:48:36.320 --> 00:48:40.720
And then, so then when my, my friend Anita will be like, oh, it's time to battle.

658
00:48:40.720 --> 00:48:43.240
Cause the devil's trying to exhaust us and blah, blah, blah.

659
00:48:43.240 --> 00:48:46.400
And I'm like, yeah, but I think we need to do it from rest.

660
00:48:46.400 --> 00:48:53.120
Like we, we have to like come up from this spiritual level where we just do it from rest,

661
00:48:53.120 --> 00:48:56.280
but I just don't really know what that looks like fully.

662
00:48:56.280 --> 00:48:59.840
Like when I do it and then I have, that's what I was looking for.

663
00:48:59.840 --> 00:49:03.920
Cause one of my other friends were like, so I feel like it's coming at me like left and

664
00:49:03.920 --> 00:49:04.920
right.

665
00:49:04.920 --> 00:49:09.000
It's like, oh, this power hour is about curses going into the spiritual realm and breaking

666
00:49:09.000 --> 00:49:10.640
them, you know?

667
00:49:10.640 --> 00:49:17.520
Like, and, and so I get like, I'm like, and then she's like, and then she's like, Jesus

668
00:49:17.520 --> 00:49:20.560
was the first breaker and restoring all things for himself.

669
00:49:20.560 --> 00:49:22.440
And I think we are meant to do that too.

670
00:49:22.440 --> 00:49:25.200
And I'm like, yes, but I don't know what that looks like.

671
00:49:25.200 --> 00:49:28.960
What does it look like from, you know what I mean?

672
00:49:28.960 --> 00:49:29.960
Uh, yes.

673
00:49:29.960 --> 00:49:32.920
So it's from the place that God's already done it.

674
00:49:32.920 --> 00:49:34.560
He's already broken that curse.

675
00:49:34.560 --> 00:49:39.680
We're standing in agreement with it so that it'll come into, so that it will come into

676
00:49:39.680 --> 00:49:41.160
effect.

677
00:49:41.160 --> 00:49:44.800
So he's already, yeah, yeah.

678
00:49:44.800 --> 00:49:45.800
He's already, yeah.

679
00:49:45.800 --> 00:49:49.800
I'm trying to keep, keep thinking, okay, what's one other way I can say it.

680
00:49:49.800 --> 00:49:50.800
Yeah.

681
00:49:50.800 --> 00:49:51.800
He's already done it.

682
00:49:51.800 --> 00:49:56.040
We're coming into agreement with the fact that he's already broken the power of it and

683
00:49:56.040 --> 00:49:59.320
therefore we don't need to quote unquote put up with it anymore.

684
00:49:59.320 --> 00:49:59.960
And we can.

685
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:08.320
declare and decree as a king over our dominion, that that, which is that this truth has authority

686
00:50:08.320 --> 00:50:12.800
to come in and take effect in our kingdom. That's what we're doing when we're going in,

687
00:50:12.800 --> 00:50:16.880
we're breaking the curses and whatever we're standing in, in the fact that God's already done

688
00:50:16.880 --> 00:50:22.960
it and that we are decreeing that that therefore shall in that is I'm therefore giving it the

689
00:50:22.960 --> 00:50:28.960
authority to have effect in my kingdom. And so it can come down and it can finally be done. So,

690
00:50:28.960 --> 00:50:33.760
and then we can expect it to be done. Why? It didn't matter how hard this thing is battling.

691
00:50:33.760 --> 00:50:39.680
This is a higher truth. So if we give it the authority to come in, it does it period, simply

692
00:50:39.680 --> 00:50:46.560
because it is a higher truth, not because it battled, because the battle already won in order

693
00:50:46.560 --> 00:50:52.880
to make, not in order to make it a higher truth, because it was always a higher truth, but in order

694
00:50:52.880 --> 00:50:59.200
for that, this has already been, this has already been conquered by the higher truth, according to

695
00:50:59.200 --> 00:51:06.400
the laws that had to be fulfilled in order for this to be acknowledged in this world. Otherwise,

696
00:51:06.400 --> 00:51:15.680
this didn't have this manner of speaking wasn't under this jurisdiction until, because again,

697
00:51:15.680 --> 00:51:22.560
it was a bond servant to death and all of that stuff. So Jesus came in and said, Hey, I'll pay

698
00:51:22.560 --> 00:51:29.680
the price that you have determined in your law, meaning like just the existence of the law itself

699
00:51:29.680 --> 00:51:37.680
and what God required that, what God set at the law to require in order for it to be fulfilled,

700
00:51:37.680 --> 00:51:42.400
which was blood payment, which was death and all that. It's like, okay, according to the law

701
00:51:42.400 --> 00:51:48.080
of what it requires in order for it to be conquered in order to be fulfilled or whatever,

702
00:51:48.080 --> 00:51:56.400
I will follow that law. So he followed the laws law of what had to be done in order for it to be

703
00:51:56.400 --> 00:52:03.920
overpowered. And so he basically met all of the, all of the requirements that the law required

704
00:52:03.920 --> 00:52:08.720
in order to be overcome, you met all of the requirements and therefore he proved that he

705
00:52:08.800 --> 00:52:16.320
proved by meeting all the requirements that he was worthy of, of over that, that he was

706
00:52:17.680 --> 00:52:23.200
of higher worthiness than the law. And therefore that the fact that he was of higher worthiness

707
00:52:23.200 --> 00:52:31.520
than the law gave him victory over it anyway. So now that, so now that the, the, the question

708
00:52:31.520 --> 00:52:37.760
has already been answered of whether or not, I mean, even to the law, even to death, even to

709
00:52:37.760 --> 00:52:44.800
everything that the laws are, it, the question has already been answered that it is been over

710
00:52:45.840 --> 00:52:52.560
that it, that this truth has the final say and final authority, but we're the gatekeepers that

711
00:52:52.560 --> 00:52:58.880
let that final authority in or keep it out, but it's already been done. All we have to do is give

712
00:52:58.880 --> 00:53:03.360
it permission. And that's what that whole thing of breaking the curses is and doing that is simply

713
00:53:03.360 --> 00:53:08.000
standing in agreement with that, which already exists with that, which has already been won.

714
00:53:08.000 --> 00:53:12.240
We're just get finally being the gatekeepers and giving it permission and saying that, no,

715
00:53:12.240 --> 00:53:17.200
no, that I'm standing with Christ in that. And that is what is now going to take effect.

716
00:53:18.240 --> 00:53:24.720
So it's not being taken into effect. If I'm not, if I keep telling it a lie about God. So now I'm

717
00:53:24.720 --> 00:53:28.960
going to come into agreement with God, which is now bringing, allowing the truth of what Christ

718
00:53:28.960 --> 00:53:34.800
already did in overpowering it to finally come in and me get to experience the effect that he

719
00:53:34.800 --> 00:53:41.440
overpowered it. So that's what that is. So, so yeah, everything, you know, all of those things,

720
00:53:41.440 --> 00:53:45.360
the battling and whatever, that's all, that's all fine. I mean, God all talks about all of those

721
00:53:45.360 --> 00:53:49.600
things, but from the place of rest, from the fact that it's already been done, not from the fact

722
00:53:49.600 --> 00:53:55.760
that we're asking for it to be done. And so it's the difference between praying as if, as if you're

723
00:53:55.760 --> 00:54:01.680
asking something to be transacted and you're praying, asking for it to come. So it's not there

724
00:54:01.680 --> 00:54:07.680
yet. And you're asking for it to come. It's the difference between that versus, versus praying in

725
00:54:08.320 --> 00:54:16.160
praying, which is starting, uh, starting from beginning from the place of it's already done.

726
00:54:16.800 --> 00:54:25.360
Yeah. Cause that's where I'm like, Hmm, like even in the court case, like how do I pray in that?

727
00:54:25.360 --> 00:54:30.240
Like even, I mean, with the husband thing, obviously it's like, okay, letting go and

728
00:54:30.240 --> 00:54:34.960
giving to rest. And then I'm like, well, should I do like, of course, is it like doing that,

729
00:54:34.960 --> 00:54:40.160
but also calling it into existence or is it like, or into the future, you know, to the present,

730
00:54:40.960 --> 00:54:46.000
I get so confused as to like, when do you just like, yeah.

731
00:54:48.000 --> 00:54:55.600
Um, okay. So it is, sorry. And I was thinking of several things, uh, all at the same time.

732
00:54:55.600 --> 00:54:58.240
And then all of a sudden it train wrecked. And then I couldn't think of a single one.

733
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.280
sold each other out, because I thought about multiple things at the same time. So,

734
00:55:05.520 --> 00:55:13.680
okay, so repeat the question for me again. I think in like all of these things, so it's like,

735
00:55:17.840 --> 00:55:23.840
because now we filed, so with this one thing, now we've filed a lawsuit. So at some point,

736
00:55:24.800 --> 00:55:30.160
in the system, how it is now, first something's going to happen, and then we get called in,

737
00:55:30.160 --> 00:55:34.240
and then you get an actual date, and this could all drag out for another year or something.

738
00:55:36.160 --> 00:55:38.640
But part of me is thinking, okay, well,

739
00:55:41.120 --> 00:55:47.360
God, it's evident that somebody's been stealing, and it says if the enemy has been caught in

740
00:55:47.360 --> 00:55:53.520
stealing, he has to pay back sevenfold. And it's like, I don't really, I don't really like,

741
00:55:53.520 --> 00:55:59.680
but then I don't want to hold accusations against it, but I am, because I'm the one suing,

742
00:55:59.680 --> 00:56:05.520
you know, alongside my sister. So I'm like, how do I kind of deal with, like, how do I

743
00:56:07.120 --> 00:56:12.560
go about that and rest, you know, like, do I just like give it to God and let it go,

744
00:56:12.560 --> 00:56:19.760
like, just leave it? Or do I, like, continue to pray from a place of rest and declare things?

745
00:56:19.760 --> 00:56:25.680
And like, and that's where I feel like with, it can be transferred into many things, like,

746
00:56:25.680 --> 00:56:30.320
okay, I'd love to meet somebody, like, okay, well, I've given it to God. And I feel like

747
00:56:30.320 --> 00:56:36.720
super chill about it, really. And sometimes I even wonder, like, do I really want to meet anybody?

748
00:56:36.720 --> 00:56:43.600
Because I don't feel like I'm being that interested, you know, whenever I talk to people,

749
00:56:43.600 --> 00:56:52.000
you know, like other guys or whatever. I'm just like, like, nah. Yeah, like, when do you know?

750
00:56:52.000 --> 00:57:00.400
So I think in all of these transfers, it's like, the difference between letting it go and rest,

751
00:57:01.280 --> 00:57:07.440
praying and fighting from rest, or having just given up and thinking you're doing all of this

752
00:57:07.440 --> 00:57:14.880
from rest. I guess that's my question. Like, how do I know what to do, when to do what and how I

753
00:57:14.880 --> 00:57:22.560
know if I'm like, yeah. Being in rest is not the same thing as not caring and not feeling and not

754
00:57:22.640 --> 00:57:31.040
feeling and not wanting. So it's just simply giving, it's, it's choosing God over the wanting

755
00:57:31.600 --> 00:57:41.680
is choosing, it's allowing him, it's wanting his character to determine the outcome. Instead of as,

756
00:57:41.680 --> 00:57:48.640
and that being of higher priority to us, not in concept, but an actual choice over our emotions,

757
00:57:49.200 --> 00:58:00.400
then that allows us to be free to feel, to want, and to desire without being overcome by them,

758
00:58:00.400 --> 00:58:07.680
or determined by our feelings. So you're giving, so what, what causes us to be over,

759
00:58:08.320 --> 00:58:16.720
to be subject to or victim to our feelings is, if we are is if our feelings are, well,

760
00:58:16.800 --> 00:58:24.160
not our feelings themselves, but is if tied up in our feelings, how to explain this? Sorry,

761
00:58:24.160 --> 00:58:28.960
I'm not trying to split hairs. I'm also kind of like trying to articulate for myself what actually

762
00:58:28.960 --> 00:58:37.120
is going on. What add to our feelings is kind of like this additional, like desperation. Like,

763
00:58:37.120 --> 00:58:41.360
think of that as like a factor that's added on our feelings. There's nothing wrong with our feelings,

764
00:58:41.360 --> 00:58:45.440
but think of like an added, like say for instance, you wanting to get married. So let's just use that

765
00:58:45.440 --> 00:58:50.400
one. And I may not be describing this exactly how it is you're feeling it, but just use this as a

766
00:58:50.400 --> 00:58:54.240
general principle. Like say for instance, you want to get married. There's a difference between

767
00:58:54.240 --> 00:58:59.040
wanting to get married, which God has says is a very good thing. God says, it's a very good thing

768
00:58:59.040 --> 00:59:02.800
to want. It's a very good thing to desire. He created that. There's nothing wrong with wanting

769
00:59:02.800 --> 00:59:09.920
something, but there's a difference between that and having this extra added factor and element

770
00:59:09.920 --> 00:59:18.080
that gets attached to it of desperation. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yes. That heaviness part

771
00:59:18.080 --> 00:59:25.440
is indicative of the fact that what it, that wrapped up in your desire to get married

772
00:59:25.440 --> 00:59:35.280
is this belief that you need it. This thing that that is more important than God manifesting his

773
00:59:35.280 --> 00:59:40.640
character into my life. That is more important than God in my life. You know, that kind of a

774
00:59:40.640 --> 00:59:46.160
thing that desperateness indicates the fact that we're not at rest, not the fact that we want it,

775
00:59:46.160 --> 00:59:52.240
but the desperateness or anything heavy that comes with the feeling. Cause all those feelings are

776
00:59:52.240 --> 00:59:58.080
hopeful. They're supposed to feel good. They're not supposed to feel bad. So if they're feeling

777
00:59:58.080 --> 00:59:59.840
bad, that's an indication.

778
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:02.160
that we're not in rest.

779
01:00:02.160 --> 01:00:09.720
Because then I feel like I've kind of come into rest in those areas a while back, like

780
01:00:09.720 --> 01:00:15.080
both with that, I think now that I'm doing the rest intensive, I may be articulated differently

781
01:00:15.080 --> 01:00:19.420
to God where I'm just like, where I'm more like, well, I feel like you've placed this

782
01:00:19.420 --> 01:00:20.420
in my heart.

783
01:00:20.420 --> 01:00:22.960
And I'm like, I would really love for it.

784
01:00:22.960 --> 01:00:27.000
But it's like you said, like, I don't feel desperate about it before, like, like before

785
01:00:27.000 --> 01:00:35.200
I would get angry if people would be like, oh, well, you know, well, might not happen.

786
01:00:35.200 --> 01:00:40.460
Or, you know, like, oh, you might, you know, you should be ready to be with somebody who's

787
01:00:40.460 --> 01:00:44.440
been married before and has all these kids, you know, like, and it's like, not that there's

788
01:00:44.440 --> 01:00:45.880
anything wrong with any of that.

789
01:00:45.880 --> 01:00:49.920
But it's just like, it would just like, make me so mad because I'm like, you don't get

790
01:00:49.920 --> 01:00:56.600
to like, but also because it was such a big, like, no, I want to like, do all of these

791
01:00:56.600 --> 01:01:01.360
things, like the first, like with whoever I meet, like, I want it to be their first,

792
01:01:01.360 --> 01:01:05.840
you know, like, um, but I'm not there anymore.

793
01:01:05.840 --> 01:01:10.560
You know, I'm just like, but I'm like, whatever you have for me, like, I trust you.

794
01:01:10.560 --> 01:01:14.480
And if you don't have that for me, I trust you to provide for me, like the friends or

795
01:01:14.480 --> 01:01:16.800
the groups, like whatever I need around me.

796
01:01:16.800 --> 01:01:20.200
And I mean, he has done all the time.

797
01:01:20.200 --> 01:01:25.160
But then there's part of me where I think, like what Ed was saying to like with my dad

798
01:01:25.160 --> 01:01:30.720
is like, Oh, there's probably something there that should come up, you know, like, and,

799
01:01:30.720 --> 01:01:34.680
and that's where I've been tying that to the weight as well, where I'm like, okay, in certain

800
01:01:34.680 --> 01:01:35.680
areas.

801
01:01:35.680 --> 01:01:41.680
So, so with, for instance, getting married and kids, I think I'm at risk could very well

802
01:01:41.680 --> 01:01:47.800
be that I am, but a part of me is fearful that I just think that I am.

803
01:01:47.800 --> 01:01:52.960
And because I'm not really, that's why I'm like eating or, you know, like doing these

804
01:01:52.960 --> 01:01:53.960
things.

805
01:01:53.960 --> 01:01:54.960
Yeah.

806
01:01:54.960 --> 01:01:56.400
I completely do.

807
01:01:56.400 --> 01:02:02.040
It's almost like a horrible way to describe this, but it, you remember how, if you have

808
01:02:02.040 --> 01:02:10.080
like a, like if you have stuff like, like acne, and then if you kind of like, if, if

809
01:02:10.080 --> 01:02:14.840
you kind of deal with one of them or whatever, it'll find if it's, if there's something in

810
01:02:14.840 --> 01:02:19.160
your body that's trying to get out, it'll figure out another way to come out, you know,

811
01:02:19.160 --> 01:02:22.680
or like, say for instance, if things aren't passing out of your colon fast enough, you're

812
01:02:23.400 --> 01:02:25.760
toxins will then try to get out of your sweat glands.

813
01:02:25.760 --> 01:02:28.960
It is going to try to find some way to get out if we block it.

814
01:02:28.960 --> 01:02:29.960
So yeah.

815
01:02:29.960 --> 01:02:36.040
I mean, no, you're, you're, you're very insightfully, you know, asking a very legitimate question.

816
01:02:36.040 --> 01:02:42.080
But so my point is like, is, is just kind of like thinking, okay, well, how am I, how

817
01:02:42.080 --> 01:02:43.080
am I feeling?

818
01:02:43.080 --> 01:02:44.720
It's like, they're like this desperateness to it.

819
01:02:44.720 --> 01:02:49.280
In other words, remember that desperateness is born of feeling like there's this burden

820
01:02:49.280 --> 01:02:54.080
that we're carrying with it, this burden of like, that the outcome needs to be this

821
01:02:54.080 --> 01:02:59.480
and I have to somehow get it to happen because if I don't, God won't.

822
01:02:59.480 --> 01:03:03.680
Or if I, if I don't do it the just the right way, then it won't happen.

823
01:03:03.680 --> 01:03:06.080
And God could probably like, I could die and go to heaven.

824
01:03:06.080 --> 01:03:09.720
And God would be like, I gave you the opportunity to do it.

825
01:03:09.720 --> 01:03:11.400
And you're like, well, I don't want to miss it.

826
01:03:11.400 --> 01:03:12.400
You know?

827
01:03:12.400 --> 01:03:16.240
So we feel this with this burden, weight and responsibility of a particular outcome case

828
01:03:16.240 --> 01:03:18.440
in point with a court case.

829
01:03:18.600 --> 01:03:26.200
So if you're feeling like what you do or don't do is determining the outcome and you're bearing

830
01:03:26.200 --> 01:03:32.560
the weight of that, that is unrest, but just the thing of like, okay, no God, you are responsible

831
01:03:32.560 --> 01:03:33.560
for the outcome.

832
01:03:33.560 --> 01:03:38.320
You being responsible for the outcome now leaves me free, free of like the, the obligation

833
01:03:38.320 --> 01:03:40.000
of carrying that weight.

834
01:03:40.000 --> 01:03:45.400
So now I'm just going, I'm going to go through the process of following full through with

835
01:03:45.400 --> 01:03:49.240
the actions of this court case, like meeting with the lawyer and doing this and getting

836
01:03:49.240 --> 01:03:54.320
the paperwork ready and then their lawyer wants this and now I've got to respond to

837
01:03:54.320 --> 01:03:55.800
this and whatever.

838
01:03:55.800 --> 01:04:03.960
And, and, and so you just kind of, you rely on the Lord to take care of what happens as

839
01:04:03.960 --> 01:04:05.320
a result of your actions.

840
01:04:05.320 --> 01:04:12.040
No, you just are free to just do the actions because that's you participating with God

841
01:04:12.120 --> 01:04:20.440
without being without having to carry that heaviness of determining the outcome.

842
01:04:21.560 --> 01:04:31.720
God determines that and let his character determine that not his not his connivingness

843
01:04:31.720 --> 01:04:36.680
and his like manipulation of things and his like, well, I'm going to cause this to happen

844
01:04:36.680 --> 01:04:41.720
because I'm going to teach you a lesson or I'm going to, you know, I'm going to do this

845
01:04:41.800 --> 01:04:43.000
or I'm going to do that.

846
01:04:43.000 --> 01:04:51.640
It's his character being expressed to into the world in order to change it in order to.

847
01:04:51.640 --> 01:04:56.840
And so if you partner with that, if you partner with, yes, Lord, whatever, that's his will

848
01:04:56.840 --> 01:04:57.400
is to it.

849
01:04:57.400 --> 01:04:58.520
My main thing is here.

850
01:04:58.520 --> 01:04:59.880
Like I've been praying for like.

851
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.320
her salvation. I was even praying for her when she was there with my dad, but I was

852
01:05:04.320 --> 01:05:08.240
like, but I don't want you to do this anymore. Like, I don't want you to be able to do this

853
01:05:08.240 --> 01:05:15.160
to other people. I don't think God has that for your life, you know, like, yeah.

854
01:05:15.160 --> 01:05:20.000
Yeah. And so when you were talking about accusation, remember that the biggest thing is not being

855
01:05:20.000 --> 01:05:24.440
an accusation against the Lord. That's when I'm talking about accusation, I'm always,

856
01:05:24.440 --> 01:05:29.120
I've been always referring to that as far as like, you know, like judging other people

857
01:05:29.280 --> 01:05:34.240
or having, you know, revengeful feelings or whatever. Those are things that we give over

858
01:05:34.240 --> 01:05:39.520
to the Lord. Cause we're like, okay, Lord, you determine, you know, this, this person's

859
01:05:39.520 --> 01:05:44.320
outcome or whatever, if it's helpful. Um, you remember me telling you that I've been,

860
01:05:44.320 --> 01:05:49.840
I've gone through a lawsuit as well. And so when I went and when I, when I went through

861
01:05:49.840 --> 01:05:54.640
the lawsuit, um, and, and it finished after a year and a half, um, from the beginning

862
01:05:54.640 --> 01:05:59.440
of it to the end that we were about to go to jury trial and they decided to settle out

863
01:05:59.440 --> 01:06:03.040
of court without any money exchange. Cause they finally realized that we really did have

864
01:06:03.040 --> 01:06:06.640
the proof that we hadn't done what they were accusing us of. And so when they realized

865
01:06:06.640 --> 01:06:10.400
they couldn't get away with it, then they said, okay, we're going to settle out of court.

866
01:06:10.400 --> 01:06:15.600
The only thing is you can't ever tell anybody who we are, which is silly because it's public

867
01:06:15.600 --> 01:06:19.120
knowledge. If you go to the court records, but that's anyway, point is they said that,

868
01:06:19.520 --> 01:06:27.760
they said that and we're like, fine, whatever. So, um, we, um, but when it, when they gave us

869
01:06:27.760 --> 01:06:34.560
that, that, um, when they asked that that's when they presented that offer of settlement,

870
01:06:34.560 --> 01:06:38.080
that I was trying to think of the phrase when they presented that offer of settlement.

871
01:06:38.080 --> 01:06:42.160
Um, and we decided that we, I was in it with my boss and his wife. And when we, and when we

872
01:06:42.160 --> 01:06:49.040
decided to, to accept it on that, we decided, uh, my boss mentioned, you know, actually so

873
01:06:49.040 --> 01:06:54.640
discouraging because it feels so anticlimactic. Everything they did to us, all of the horrible

874
01:06:54.640 --> 01:06:59.200
things and then, oh my word, they could go out and do it to someone else, you know, and whatever.

875
01:06:59.200 --> 01:07:04.880
And we're feeling this responsibility, but again, we're not responsible. We're not responsible for

876
01:07:04.880 --> 01:07:10.160
whether they go out and do it to someone else. We use that as a, as a way of like shame and

877
01:07:10.160 --> 01:07:14.240
motivation of each other of like, well, you've got to, because they could do it to someone else.

878
01:07:14.240 --> 01:07:20.720
We're not responsible for that. So we don't carry the burden of that. We can co-create with God and

879
01:07:20.720 --> 01:07:27.360
partner with his heart towards them in order that they wouldn't do it to someone else, but we're not

880
01:07:27.360 --> 01:07:33.760
responsible for doing certain things in order to get someone to respond in a specific way,

881
01:07:33.760 --> 01:07:37.680
because we can't control someone else. Even if you do all of this and you win,

882
01:07:37.760 --> 01:07:41.840
you can still do it to someone else. You know, it just, it, it's totally outside of our control.

883
01:07:41.840 --> 01:07:47.600
So we really do have to release it to the Lord. That burden is not on you. So my point is that

884
01:07:47.600 --> 01:07:51.280
he said, you know, actually this was very anticlimactic. So I, we got off the phone

885
01:07:52.000 --> 01:07:56.480
and I prayed to the Lord about it. And I said, so Lord, you know, what, what's going on? Could you

886
01:07:56.480 --> 01:08:01.920
help us understand? And he said, and I'm not saying that this is about, that this is the case

887
01:08:01.920 --> 01:08:06.080
with y'all. I'm just saying that this is for me and it might just kind of broaden your perspective.

888
01:08:06.080 --> 01:08:10.080
And then you can ask the Lord, it might prompt some conversation with him where he broadens

889
01:08:10.080 --> 01:08:16.240
your perspective by telling you that it's not what, what he was telling me that our case was about,

890
01:08:16.240 --> 01:08:20.560
but it might be something that y'all hadn't even considered y'alls to even be about. It might kind

891
01:08:20.560 --> 01:08:26.080
of open up something new for the Lord. Anyway. So he told us, he said, he said, Ashley, oh,

892
01:08:26.080 --> 01:08:30.080
by the way, are you, are you, I know it's, I know it's late and so I'll wrap up, but are you okay

893
01:08:30.080 --> 01:08:38.240
on time? Okay. Is, and he's, he said, Ashley, it was never about y'all anyway. He said, all of this,

894
01:08:38.880 --> 01:08:45.920
he said, those people were doing things before y'all came and it was getting worse. He said,

895
01:08:45.920 --> 01:08:53.760
but what I could do is because I could trust y'all and to cling to me, I needed someone I could

896
01:08:53.760 --> 01:09:01.920
entrust with my reputation to be put in the middle of that, causing their true selves to come to

897
01:09:01.920 --> 01:09:08.160
light where I could finally deal with it because they were keeping everything under the surface

898
01:09:08.160 --> 01:09:12.880
and things weren't being dealt with. And they were hurting a lot of people they were. And,

899
01:09:12.880 --> 01:09:18.800
and so now he's like, I used y'all as a catalyst. It was never about y'all. Anyway, y'all, y'all

900
01:09:18.800 --> 01:09:24.560
aren't under threat because you're in a lawsuit. He's like, I could take care of it. You watched

901
01:09:24.560 --> 01:09:28.479
me take care of y'all in this whole thing. Sure. It wasn't comfortable to go through,

902
01:09:28.479 --> 01:09:33.359
but you're not under threat, you know? And so I was like, oh, okay. So anyway, he was just like,

903
01:09:33.359 --> 01:09:39.120
Ashley, it was always about them in the first place. And I could entrust you to, to cling to me

904
01:09:39.120 --> 01:09:45.680
and to not feel threatened and to not be affected and to not meaning like not be corrupted. It

905
01:09:45.680 --> 01:09:51.520
doesn't mean that we weren't hurt or bothered by it or whatever, but we weren't corrupted

906
01:09:51.520 --> 01:09:56.560
by their action and being in the presence of evil. Right. And so anyway, I was like,

907
01:09:56.560 --> 01:09:59.600
oh, wow, that's really powerful. Then eight years later.

908
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.640
Well, or technically I think it was like six and a half, but it was eight years later from

909
01:10:04.640 --> 01:10:07.740
the day that, uh, that they had kicked us out.

910
01:10:07.740 --> 01:10:11.880
And I literally, it was like the movies, they gave me a cardboard box and I had to pack

911
01:10:11.880 --> 01:10:13.640
my cardboard box while they watched me.

912
01:10:13.640 --> 01:10:14.640
I was like, this is horrible.

913
01:10:14.640 --> 01:10:18.640
One of my, one of the friends, one of the people, you know, that we'd poured a lot into

914
01:10:18.640 --> 01:10:22.720
their lives about, and they would come to us for like biblical counsel and all that.

915
01:10:22.720 --> 01:10:27.760
They're standing there making sure that I pack my box and I don't take anything.

916
01:10:27.760 --> 01:10:34.240
I don't steal any information I'm going, it's like, who did they learn about strong

917
01:10:34.240 --> 01:10:36.600
integrity from me?

918
01:10:36.600 --> 01:10:38.000
This is what I taught them.

919
01:10:38.000 --> 01:10:40.800
This is what my boss has taught them and here they are making sure we do it.

920
01:10:40.800 --> 01:10:41.800
I'm like, this is crazy.

921
01:10:41.800 --> 01:10:42.800
Anyway.

922
01:10:42.800 --> 01:10:44.840
So we're like, okay, so we're packing all up and everything.

923
01:10:44.840 --> 01:10:48.920
Anyway, eight years to the day, God called me back there and he said back to that street.

924
01:10:48.920 --> 01:10:50.680
I did not know why I was on that street.

925
01:10:50.680 --> 01:10:55.200
I had avoided that street for eight years because it hurt too bad.

926
01:10:56.200 --> 01:11:00.440
I mean, these are our friends that we'd spent more time with than our own family.

927
01:11:00.440 --> 01:11:04.720
This is the company that I worked at when I would work up to 21 hours in a day.

928
01:11:04.720 --> 01:11:09.040
Remember I've told you that this is the company I don't have to do that, but you're pouring

929
01:11:09.040 --> 01:11:10.440
into people, right?

930
01:11:10.440 --> 01:11:12.040
It hurts deeply.

931
01:11:12.040 --> 01:11:14.000
Like what has happened to your father?

932
01:11:14.000 --> 01:11:18.120
You know, and what it is that someone's done where it's, it's like they've hurt someone

933
01:11:18.120 --> 01:11:23.600
that you love and you had entrusted that person to, to them.

934
01:11:23.600 --> 01:11:24.600
Right.

935
01:11:24.600 --> 01:11:25.600
Anyway.

936
01:11:25.600 --> 01:11:27.040
So, um, and God called me back there.

937
01:11:27.040 --> 01:11:32.120
And by that time I had healed enough on my own relationship with the Lord and my identity

938
01:11:32.120 --> 01:11:34.120
with the Lord, et cetera.

939
01:11:34.120 --> 01:11:37.480
And I felt more that I was truly forgiven of things.

940
01:11:37.480 --> 01:11:40.280
I felt that I truly was who God says that I was.

941
01:11:40.280 --> 01:11:44.240
So in other words, I was spirit, not in my flesh.

942
01:11:44.240 --> 01:11:46.840
You know, I had flesh, but I was actually spirit.

943
01:11:46.840 --> 01:11:51.480
So from that place, I was more healed to finally be able to do what God asked me to do.

944
01:11:51.480 --> 01:11:54.920
And I'm telling you what, I have very rarely been so terrified in my life.

945
01:11:54.920 --> 01:11:57.080
I was shocked at how much I was.

946
01:11:57.080 --> 01:12:02.080
I was physically shaking, very strong person gone through a lot.

947
01:12:02.080 --> 01:12:04.720
And I'd gone through that whole court case years before.

948
01:12:04.720 --> 01:12:08.600
And I was sitting in the parking lot before I walked onto the property of this, of this

949
01:12:08.600 --> 01:12:11.360
old, of this company eight years later.

950
01:12:11.360 --> 01:12:12.360
And I was shaking.

951
01:12:12.360 --> 01:12:16.800
I was like, this is absolutely ridiculous, but you know, apparently I'm really scared.

952
01:12:16.800 --> 01:12:18.600
And so I knew what God wanted me to do.

953
01:12:18.600 --> 01:12:20.680
He wanted me to go back onto the property.

954
01:12:20.680 --> 01:12:24.040
And thankfully the property had changed so that all those corporate offices were now

955
01:12:24.040 --> 01:12:25.040
at a different location.

956
01:12:25.040 --> 01:12:29.120
And this was a retail location and the person there didn't know me.

957
01:12:29.120 --> 01:12:33.280
So I could walk onto the property without engaging in anybody, you know, engaging with

958
01:12:33.280 --> 01:12:37.880
anyone that had seen me before and would want to like, tell me I had to get off their property

959
01:12:37.880 --> 01:12:38.880
or whatever.

960
01:12:38.880 --> 01:12:44.040
And I could literally stand in this spot that I knew used to be the old, cause everything

961
01:12:44.040 --> 01:12:45.040
been rearranged.

962
01:12:45.040 --> 01:12:51.360
I could stand on the spot where I knew that that old office was where they had conspired

963
01:12:51.360 --> 01:12:58.360
against us, where the guy on our team made up lies about us to the company that we were

964
01:12:58.360 --> 01:13:02.840
contracting for saying we were doing things that we weren't, and he lied about us and

965
01:13:02.840 --> 01:13:03.840
everything.

966
01:13:03.840 --> 01:13:06.640
And I knew all of that had happened literally on that part of the floor.

967
01:13:06.640 --> 01:13:11.040
And so because it had been reconfigured and the corporate offices had moved elsewhere,

968
01:13:11.040 --> 01:13:13.940
that floor was open up and I could stand on that spot.

969
01:13:13.940 --> 01:13:18.700
So I stood on that spot and in obedience to the Lord, I forgave them because here's

970
01:13:18.700 --> 01:13:20.580
what was, what was going on.

971
01:13:20.580 --> 01:13:25.940
Not only was I connected to them, like I was still hurt, you know, and I needed to free

972
01:13:25.940 --> 01:13:27.860
myself from that.

973
01:13:27.860 --> 01:13:30.740
They were buried because they had hurt me.

974
01:13:30.740 --> 01:13:34.940
I'm the one given authority by God to be able to release them.

975
01:13:34.940 --> 01:13:39.520
So I stood there and God had done a lot of work in my heart up to this point.

976
01:13:39.520 --> 01:13:43.460
So what I'm telling you is, you know, you can just know, okay, well, this is eventually,

977
01:13:43.980 --> 01:13:48.580
this is really what the Lord desires us to get to the point of, and you can ask the Lord,

978
01:13:48.580 --> 01:13:54.060
Lord, can you help do in my heart what is needed to bring me to the point where I can

979
01:13:54.060 --> 01:13:55.700
do this?

980
01:13:55.700 --> 01:13:58.940
Because remember, this is eight years later.

981
01:13:58.940 --> 01:14:00.420
It's not like tomorrow.

982
01:14:00.420 --> 01:14:02.180
It was eight years.

983
01:14:02.180 --> 01:14:05.100
So God had to do a lot in me to finally get to this point, but I stood there.

984
01:14:05.100 --> 01:14:11.860
Not only did I release and disconnect to me from, from them and free myself and free them.

985
01:14:11.980 --> 01:14:18.540
I then shifted into my spirit so I could bless them like Jesus would, because I was now,

986
01:14:18.540 --> 01:14:20.580
I was no longer threatened.

987
01:14:20.580 --> 01:14:28.720
So I could bless them because I had a, I had a kingly role that could call out good things.

988
01:14:28.720 --> 01:14:32.380
And I asked the Lord, it's kind of like standing before a judge and being the prosecution.

989
01:14:32.380 --> 01:14:37.820
I was like, Lord, I have the right to bring myself to, to bring things against this person

990
01:14:37.820 --> 01:14:41.540
for what it is that they've done, but I'm choosing to release them from it.

991
01:14:41.540 --> 01:14:44.140
I'm choosing to release them from judgment, you know, et cetera.

992
01:14:44.140 --> 01:14:47.860
And it doesn't mean that God can't continue to carry out whatever it is that he needs

993
01:14:47.860 --> 01:14:52.900
to against them, because when they're sinning against us for carrying Christ, they're sinning

994
01:14:52.900 --> 01:14:53.900
against God.

995
01:14:53.900 --> 01:14:58.340
And he takes that up personally, you know, so that, that there's that aspect.

996
01:14:58.340 --> 01:15:00.020
And so that's what I can do that now.

997
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:06.320
before everything's done kind of. Yeah. Oh yeah. And so what I did though is I blessed them and I

998
01:15:06.320 --> 01:15:12.080
and I said, Lord, I ask that they, that you, um, um, I free them and release them not only

999
01:15:12.080 --> 01:15:17.760
on earth, but in the spirit from having to, from having what it is that they've done against us,

1000
01:15:17.760 --> 01:15:24.880
continually brought against them by Satan or by, or even, you know, even by angels or whatever

1001
01:15:24.960 --> 01:15:32.160
to accuse them and cause them to continue to bear judgment because of what it is that they did to

1002
01:15:32.160 --> 01:15:36.560
me. Now that's not freeing them from what God needs to do with them because they've sinned

1003
01:15:36.560 --> 01:15:41.760
against God. This is the aspect in which I have the authority to speak, which is how they've

1004
01:15:41.760 --> 01:15:48.480
sinned against me. That is what I, I'm allowed to release. Um, but I, I had to do it. I couldn't

1005
01:15:48.480 --> 01:15:54.240
just do it because I wanted to, I had to make sure that the Lord, that they were at the part

1006
01:15:54.240 --> 01:15:58.400
and I was at the part with the Lord where, Lord, is this okay? Can I do this? Do I have freedom?

1007
01:15:58.400 --> 01:16:05.520
Do I have, is this is, um, you know, and can I do this anyway? So I would do that. Here's the really

1008
01:16:05.520 --> 01:16:09.520
big deal. I asked that they, that God would finally bless them. And then if any aspects of

1009
01:16:09.520 --> 01:16:14.000
their finances were being hindered because of what they'd done, that, that, that, that blockage

1010
01:16:14.000 --> 01:16:18.880
would finally be removed and that they would be able to be blessed to financially, et cetera,

1011
01:16:18.880 --> 01:16:23.600
what had happened after we left, just as an indication of some of the things that happened,

1012
01:16:23.600 --> 01:16:27.520
these are like the worst things that happened. There were multiple things, but these are the

1013
01:16:27.520 --> 01:16:33.120
worst things that I heard about is that the people who came in, there were, I think, three people

1014
01:16:33.120 --> 01:16:40.480
that came in after, uh, that, that took the position that my boss had had a CEO of the company

1015
01:16:40.480 --> 01:16:44.960
that K or I don't know if it was that, or if it was general manager that they ended up coming

1016
01:16:44.960 --> 01:16:50.000
as, but whatever it was, it was his position in the company. They came in after him. And

1017
01:16:50.560 --> 01:16:58.320
from what I heard three, from what I remember that I heard, uh, two out of the three people

1018
01:16:58.880 --> 01:17:06.800
that followed him in that role committed suicide. It was as if it was as if the role was cursed.

1019
01:17:07.760 --> 01:17:13.760
It was bad to commit a suicide. Then the, another guy that had been, we didn't know those people,

1020
01:17:13.760 --> 01:17:18.880
but the guy that had been there when we were there, who was over another part of that,

1021
01:17:18.880 --> 01:17:23.840
that my boss had had promoted to being over a certain part of the service department,

1022
01:17:24.800 --> 01:17:32.720
he committed suicide by a cop. So that's at least two, if not three suicides, it's at least two.

1023
01:17:32.720 --> 01:17:38.080
I thought the guy, I thought that the, that what it is that I heard was that it was three suicides.

1024
01:17:38.080 --> 01:17:44.080
And so one of those men I knew he'd had dealt with major alcohol. He was a major alcoholic.

1025
01:17:44.080 --> 01:17:48.720
And then he started to get clean while we were there, but it continued to struggle on and off

1026
01:17:48.720 --> 01:17:53.920
off and on and whatever. But I'm telling you what people were healed so much while we were there

1027
01:17:53.920 --> 01:17:59.120
and, and whatever, but, and they were finding the Lord, et cetera. And then we left and I'm

1028
01:17:59.120 --> 01:18:03.760
telling you what horrible things happen. Another thing is the guy that was on our team, he worked

1029
01:18:03.760 --> 01:18:08.640
for our company that was contracting with this company. He betrayed us and said that we did

1030
01:18:08.640 --> 01:18:14.480
things that we didn't do because he wanted the contract. So that was his negotiation with them.

1031
01:18:14.480 --> 01:18:18.880
Hey, you know, I'm going to give you all of this stuff and whatever, but Hey, I'll be loyal to you.

1032
01:18:18.880 --> 01:18:25.440
So if you've, when you sue them, I'll stick around and I'll take over the contract for you. So I know

1033
01:18:25.440 --> 01:18:30.400
all their tips and tricks and all, and I'll do it for you. And so they said, okay, so he took over

1034
01:18:30.400 --> 01:18:36.480
our contract. He then embezzled them for over a million dollars after we left. So, I mean,

1035
01:18:36.480 --> 01:18:42.480
he did it slowly, you know, so that he couldn't be caught because he, and apparently he, yeah,

1036
01:18:42.480 --> 01:18:48.480
anyway, so it was bad, bad, bad, bad. So, and that happened, you know, after, um, and then also there

1037
01:18:48.480 --> 01:18:52.560
were more, it was more than that. I mean, we had a very dear friend of ours who'd been fired from

1038
01:18:52.560 --> 01:18:58.720
that company. Um, and, uh, while we were there and then in fact, my boss is the one who was

1039
01:18:58.720 --> 01:19:03.680
friends with him and had to fire him. Well, after, or while we were in the middle of the lawsuit,

1040
01:19:04.320 --> 01:19:10.000
the company reached out back out to that friend that they'd fired, you know, I mean the boss

1041
01:19:10.000 --> 01:19:14.400
had fired him, but he, my boss had fired him, but anyway, and asked him to come back and help

1042
01:19:14.400 --> 01:19:21.280
this guy. We went to church with, and this guy said, sure. I know that you're suing my friends.

1043
01:19:21.280 --> 01:19:29.840
I will come and help you. We're going, wow. Why would you go and do that when they fired us? I

1044
01:19:30.000 --> 01:19:35.520
mean, you know, and they not only fired us, they began to chase us for two different, uh, uh,

1045
01:19:35.520 --> 01:19:42.000
companies that we were consulting for and, uh, and, uh, threatened those companies unless they,

1046
01:19:42.000 --> 01:19:45.440
unless they stopped, unless they canceled their contract with us. So they did.

1047
01:19:47.120 --> 01:19:55.280
It's just crazy. So anyway, my point is they were bearing horrible, horrible consequences.

1048
01:19:55.280 --> 01:19:59.840
People were dying. They weren't being murdered. They were killing themselves.

1049
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:07.720
It was as if there was this horrible curse that was coming against him to as, as self-destruction

1050
01:20:07.720 --> 01:20:11.560
internal, like an implosion of like destroying oneself.

1051
01:20:11.560 --> 01:20:13.880
It was terrible.

1052
01:20:13.880 --> 01:20:15.040
That is what I went in there.

1053
01:20:15.040 --> 01:20:19.720
I mean, so when I went in there, I'm like, Lord, I know that they are bearing the consequences

1054
01:20:19.720 --> 01:20:22.860
of what they've done to us, but I released them.

1055
01:20:22.860 --> 01:20:29.380
And I asked that you would, that they would turn to you in your kindness, that they would

1056
01:20:29.380 --> 01:20:34.540
repent, that they would, that they would seek you ask that you will pour out your, that

1057
01:20:34.540 --> 01:20:40.180
your love on them immensely, and that they would all be saved and understand all of these

1058
01:20:40.180 --> 01:20:43.780
people are not all of them, but all the leaders they've claimed to be saved.

1059
01:20:43.780 --> 01:20:48.020
In fact, some of them, I think may have even become, well, I was going to say may have

1060
01:20:48.020 --> 01:20:49.820
become Christians while we were there.

1061
01:20:49.820 --> 01:20:55.620
It was a renewing of their faith is what they were saying, but anyway, it, and so the

1062
01:20:55.620 --> 01:21:05.300
thing is, it was that it was those circumstances in which I was, I knew that God was asking

1063
01:21:05.300 --> 01:21:07.540
me to forgive and to release.

1064
01:21:07.540 --> 01:21:13.580
So my point is that's just as an encouragement to you of some stuff that God calls us to,

1065
01:21:13.580 --> 01:21:19.220
but we have to ask him, Lord, you know, do in me, what needs to be done to get me to

1066
01:21:19.220 --> 01:21:21.500
that point?

1067
01:21:21.500 --> 01:21:25.340
So in the end, as an encouragement, again, I don't know what's going on in your situation.

1068
01:21:25.340 --> 01:21:29.140
Like it's in like in the spirit realm, what's going on with the court case and what all

1069
01:21:29.140 --> 01:21:34.140
that, all I know is that for us, when we ask the Lord, Lord, this is horrible, this feels

1070
01:21:34.140 --> 01:21:36.380
horrible or treated horrible, what's going on.

1071
01:21:36.380 --> 01:21:37.940
You said it was never about you.

1072
01:21:37.940 --> 01:21:43.100
Is that an, oh, and also there was a, a dream that I had while I was in the middle of the

1073
01:21:43.100 --> 01:21:48.620
court case where my boss and, and, and his wife and I, um, and again, this was a dream

1074
01:21:48.620 --> 01:21:49.620
I had.

1075
01:21:49.620 --> 01:21:50.620
It wasn't a vision.

1076
01:21:50.620 --> 01:21:51.620
I was asleep.

1077
01:21:51.620 --> 01:21:56.340
And we, we, we went down into this cave and we were, and there was this community in this

1078
01:21:56.340 --> 01:21:57.340
cave.

1079
01:21:57.340 --> 01:22:00.740
And so we were learning all the laws and the rules of this community and everything.

1080
01:22:00.740 --> 01:22:06.060
Well, what that was is that was like, that was like literally court law.

1081
01:22:06.060 --> 01:22:09.900
Like the lawyers are all telling us none of us had ever been in a court case before.

1082
01:22:09.900 --> 01:22:13.820
So we're having to entrust the interest, you know, we're having to trust the lawyers

1083
01:22:13.820 --> 01:22:19.440
that they're telling us that, Hey, yes, this is a, this is how, um, how you interact with

1084
01:22:19.440 --> 01:22:20.940
other people in the court of law.

1085
01:22:20.940 --> 01:22:23.340
Yes, this is, this is, um, integrity.

1086
01:22:23.340 --> 01:22:24.340
Yes.

1087
01:22:24.340 --> 01:22:25.340
This is lawful.

1088
01:22:25.340 --> 01:22:26.340
Yes.

1089
01:22:26.340 --> 01:22:30.380
We didn't know some of the stuff that they were, that our bosses were telling us to do.

1090
01:22:30.380 --> 01:22:32.740
They were like, Hey, look, this is just the way that the law works.

1091
01:22:32.740 --> 01:22:36.380
You have to use these loopholes and you have to get around things like this and you have

1092
01:22:36.380 --> 01:22:37.500
to be around things like that.

1093
01:22:38.100 --> 01:22:41.100
It just feels dirty.

1094
01:22:41.100 --> 01:22:42.100
It doesn't feel right.

1095
01:22:42.100 --> 01:22:44.300
And they're saying, no, no, no, trust us, trust us.

1096
01:22:44.300 --> 01:22:46.300
You know, this is just the way that it is.

1097
01:22:46.300 --> 01:22:47.300
It's not dirty.

1098
01:22:47.300 --> 01:22:52.620
It's just the way that you, you work within the law and you're like, okay, you know, you're

1099
01:22:52.620 --> 01:22:57.340
just children trying to trust people who are apparently experts, right?

1100
01:22:57.340 --> 01:22:58.980
I mean, that's why you hire a lawyer.

1101
01:22:58.980 --> 01:23:02.880
You can defend yourself in a court, or at least you can in the United States by yourself.

1102
01:23:02.880 --> 01:23:04.380
Why do we hire a lawyer?

1103
01:23:04.380 --> 01:23:06.200
Because they know things we don't.

1104
01:23:06.200 --> 01:23:10.200
So we have to trust that they, that the things that they're telling us are accurate.

1105
01:23:10.200 --> 01:23:11.200
Right?

1106
01:23:11.200 --> 01:23:12.200
Anyway.

1107
01:23:12.200 --> 01:23:13.200
So that's what the dream was.

1108
01:23:13.200 --> 01:23:15.740
It was like, everyone was telling us, by the way, you have to do this.

1109
01:23:15.740 --> 01:23:16.740
You have to do this.

1110
01:23:16.740 --> 01:23:18.000
You have to submit these papers.

1111
01:23:18.000 --> 01:23:19.000
You have to do it this way.

1112
01:23:19.000 --> 01:23:21.720
And if you don't, and if you've got to do it in this way, well, that seems conniving

1113
01:23:21.720 --> 01:23:22.720
to us.

1114
01:23:22.720 --> 01:23:23.720
No, trust me.

1115
01:23:23.720 --> 01:23:24.720
It's not.

1116
01:23:24.720 --> 01:23:25.720
It's just normal.

1117
01:23:25.720 --> 01:23:29.080
And then we're like, okay, anyway, it's like all of these laws and all of these rules of

1118
01:23:29.080 --> 01:23:31.240
this is the way that it works.

1119
01:23:31.240 --> 01:23:35.800
So anyway, in this dream, we're learning all these laws or all these rules from the community

1120
01:23:36.400 --> 01:23:38.280
And oh, this is how we do things, whatever.

1121
01:23:38.280 --> 01:23:42.960
And he said, one of the things is once a year, we go to this part of the cave and we look

1122
01:23:42.960 --> 01:23:48.520
at the wall and these ghosts appear and we are supposed to give them food.

1123
01:23:48.520 --> 01:23:50.640
And so they've never not appeared.

1124
01:23:50.640 --> 01:23:51.760
They've always appeared here.

1125
01:23:51.760 --> 01:23:53.800
We sacrifice food to them.

1126
01:23:53.800 --> 01:23:54.800
That's what we do.

1127
01:23:54.800 --> 01:23:59.440
And we're like, okay, so we're standing there at this blank wall, because that time of year

1128
01:23:59.440 --> 01:24:02.240
stand there at the blank wall and they've never not appeared.

1129
01:24:02.240 --> 01:24:06.320
And so, so me and my friends were looking at each other like, what is going on?

1130
01:24:06.320 --> 01:24:07.320
I don't know.

1131
01:24:07.320 --> 01:24:08.840
I feel like we're supposed to be scared.

1132
01:24:08.840 --> 01:24:12.480
I feel like it is very serious, you know, and we're going, this is crazy.

1133
01:24:12.480 --> 01:24:17.200
But at the same time, we're in a world in which everyone's going, no, this is how it

1134
01:24:17.200 --> 01:24:18.520
works.

1135
01:24:18.520 --> 01:24:23.120
So anyway, the point is the ghost never appeared.

1136
01:24:23.120 --> 01:24:27.640
In other words, the outcome that they told us that we should be afraid of and we should

1137
01:24:27.640 --> 01:24:31.760
be prepared for never happens.

1138
01:24:32.280 --> 01:24:36.840
And sure enough, you know, in reality, because, because the, the, the lawyers were telling

1139
01:24:36.840 --> 01:24:40.440
us things like all this doom and gloom stuff, oh my goodness, this could happen.

1140
01:24:40.440 --> 01:24:42.840
And if you don't, well, then this is going to happen.

1141
01:24:42.840 --> 01:24:45.080
And it all looked horrible.

1142
01:24:45.080 --> 01:24:49.080
And so we're just having to ask the Lord to like, Lord, you take over the court case.

1143
01:24:49.080 --> 01:24:51.160
You determine the outcome.

1144
01:24:51.160 --> 01:24:53.480
You're the one who's going to protect us.

1145
01:24:53.480 --> 01:24:57.280
So they're all, they're all prophesying doom and gloom.

1146
01:24:57.280 --> 01:24:59.360
And they're the ones who have been in.

1147
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:05.920
number of court cases, and we never have. So Lord, we don't have any reason to believe that

1148
01:25:05.920 --> 01:25:11.280
what they say always happened doesn't happen. That's what they say. They say it always happens.

1149
01:25:13.360 --> 01:25:18.720
Basically, the thing was in the dream, God was telling me and encouraging me and comforting me

1150
01:25:18.720 --> 01:25:25.760
of like, Ashley, know what I say is going to happen will happen. So you choose to submit

1151
01:25:25.760 --> 01:25:31.200
the outcome to the authority of the kingdom of God, and not the kingdom of this world,

1152
01:25:31.200 --> 01:25:36.640
so that the impossible can happen. So that what normally happens in a court case and where the

1153
01:25:36.640 --> 01:25:41.120
way it normally goes, and what normally is the consequence and how people normally act,

1154
01:25:41.840 --> 01:25:47.360
doesn't have to happen. Whatever God says, however, God wants to do it, he can adjust

1155
01:25:47.360 --> 01:25:53.440
to move things around, because you are choosing to get to rest in him to submit the outcome to him,

1156
01:25:53.440 --> 01:25:59.920
and to allow to allow the principles of the kingdom of God to take effect and to overpower

1157
01:25:59.920 --> 01:26:05.440
anything that the kingdom, any of the laws by which the kingdom of the world always works.

1158
01:26:06.240 --> 01:26:11.040
It's superseded by the kingdom of God, which is how, which is what we call a miracle,

1159
01:26:11.040 --> 01:26:16.960
when that which is supposed to happen, doesn't happen. You know, where no, you can't walk on

1160
01:26:16.960 --> 01:26:21.600
water and God's like, yeah, you can if you submit to the kingdom, the authority of the kingdom of

1161
01:26:21.600 --> 01:26:27.200
God, you get to choose whether to operate within the principles of the kingdom of the world,

1162
01:26:27.200 --> 01:26:32.080
or not. It's the same thing with the court case. So anyway, I just say all of that,

1163
01:26:32.080 --> 01:26:36.160
you know, as encouragement of like, yeah, there's all kinds of things that you can do to pray.

1164
01:26:37.200 --> 01:26:44.800
And, but from the perspective that it's a giving it to God and submitting it to the authority of

1165
01:26:44.800 --> 01:26:52.800
his kingdom. And by do, and you do that by being at rest. In other words, okay, my actions are not

1166
01:26:52.800 --> 01:26:57.360
determining the outcome. I'm just doing this stuff. But you know what, even if I mess up,

1167
01:26:57.920 --> 01:27:02.480
even if the lawyer tells me to do something that I'm questioning, whether or not it's of integrity,

1168
01:27:02.480 --> 01:27:06.720
and I asked the Lord, and I can't figure it out. And I do it. And then I discover later, well,

1169
01:27:06.720 --> 01:27:11.440
no, no, no, that was a very underhanded thing to do. It's allowed. It's, it's, it's a loophole

1170
01:27:11.440 --> 01:27:16.080
within the law. But I know morally, maybe I shouldn't have done that. You know, now I know,

1171
01:27:16.800 --> 01:27:21.520
you know, whatever, even if those were things were to happen, that doesn't determine the court case

1172
01:27:21.520 --> 01:27:26.400
that doesn't determine what happens. You're submitting all of this to the Lord, it,

1173
01:27:26.400 --> 01:27:33.600
your actions are part of the process of you coming into agreement with the Lord in action. It's the

1174
01:27:33.600 --> 01:27:39.120
action part of your faith, Lord, I'm believing in you. And therefore I'm doing these things,

1175
01:27:39.120 --> 01:27:44.480
not that you're abandoned and alone, and your actions are determining the outcome,

1176
01:27:44.480 --> 01:27:51.520
because you're bearing that you're having to bear the weight of the of the outcome. Does that make

1177
01:27:51.520 --> 01:27:59.760
sense? So much sense. So yeah. Okay, good. Right. So anyway, that was a lot. And I know we've gotten

1178
01:27:59.760 --> 01:28:05.360
over time. But yeah, thank you so much. Yeah, it was so helpful. So I know, I think I know what

1179
01:28:05.360 --> 01:28:15.760
to do with my transformation session on Sunday. Okay, good. I think lean into, like, what Ed had

1180
01:28:15.760 --> 01:28:23.680
been saying. And like, I think, probably like, how do I respond to that? And, like, how do I know

1181
01:28:23.680 --> 01:28:29.440
what to do with staying in the job getting a new one at the same time feeling that maybe God will

1182
01:28:29.440 --> 01:28:35.440
be challenging me to jump ship and do something? I don't know which of the three and how to live

1183
01:28:35.440 --> 01:28:44.400
and rest in that. And I think that's gonna probably be something to investigate on Sunday.

1184
01:28:45.360 --> 01:28:50.640
Okay, yeah, sounds good. Just as a real quick thing that you can do about that between here and now

1185
01:28:51.280 --> 01:28:58.080
is remember to that release the outcome of which decision that you make as bearing as as

1186
01:29:00.320 --> 01:29:07.760
the action that you release your action from the weight of the outcome of like, okay, am I going to

1187
01:29:07.760 --> 01:29:11.520
be following the Lord's will? I'm an army falling? Well, is God going to give me what I want or not?

1188
01:29:11.520 --> 01:29:17.680
Because I went sideways. You know, you just and so that's one of the things to start to start

1189
01:29:17.680 --> 01:29:22.800
releasing that you're not having your interview until sometime next week, right? No, it's sometime

1190
01:29:22.800 --> 01:29:27.280
it was supposed to be on Wednesday. And then I've asked them if I can have it on Thursday or Friday,

1191
01:29:27.280 --> 01:29:32.640
because I can't really do Wednesday. But so I'll see. I'll see what they say. But yeah, because

1192
01:29:32.640 --> 01:29:37.680
because I think at the root of it, it's probably something that you had mentioned before where it's

1193
01:29:37.680 --> 01:29:43.200
like, Oh, well, I've gotten these great words before. And it's like, but it hasn't happened.

1194
01:29:43.200 --> 01:29:49.600
And I'm like, part of me is like, so scared where it's like, well, my spirit can be I feel like

1195
01:29:49.600 --> 01:29:55.040
something's about to happen, like in the next six months, like, okay, now I hear it. Well, it could

1196
01:29:55.040 --> 01:29:59.840
be in the next six months or more within that or within, you know, the next five years, I don't know.

1197
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:04.160
But it's like, I think part of me is just,

1198
01:30:04.160 --> 01:30:06.060
I get super hopeful and I love it.

1199
01:30:06.060 --> 01:30:08.840
And then I think part of me is like,

1200
01:30:08.840 --> 01:30:12.600
really, like it hasn't happened before, so.

1201
01:30:12.600 --> 01:30:13.520
Right.

1202
01:30:13.520 --> 01:30:14.360
Yeah, exactly.

1203
01:30:14.360 --> 01:30:16.920
And just FYI, that's resistance

1204
01:30:16.920 --> 01:30:19.280
in accusation against the Lord.

1205
01:30:19.280 --> 01:30:21.180
So, and I don't mean that in condemnation.

1206
01:30:21.180 --> 01:30:22.960
What I'm saying is,

1207
01:30:22.960 --> 01:30:23.920
you're knowing that,

1208
01:30:23.920 --> 01:30:25.800
we're like, well, why isn't it happening?

1209
01:30:25.800 --> 01:30:28.320
So if we realize, oh, I'm actually,

1210
01:30:28.320 --> 01:30:30.120
God's trying to give me something,

1211
01:30:30.120 --> 01:30:31.920
I'm actually in resistance.

1212
01:30:31.920 --> 01:30:34.720
When we identify, oh, that's resistance,

1213
01:30:34.720 --> 01:30:38.040
then it makes us sometimes more ready

1214
01:30:38.040 --> 01:30:40.640
to release something that we've been holding onto

1215
01:30:40.640 --> 01:30:43.560
if we realize, oh, that's keeping it from me.

1216
01:30:43.560 --> 01:30:45.520
So that's my whole point in saying it.

1217
01:30:45.520 --> 01:30:46.840
It's not in any condemnation of like,

1218
01:30:46.840 --> 01:30:47.960
you will see you're doing something.

1219
01:30:47.960 --> 01:30:48.800
No, no, no.

1220
01:30:48.800 --> 01:30:50.080
It's like, oh, there you go.

1221
01:30:50.080 --> 01:30:51.460
So let that thing go.

1222
01:30:51.460 --> 01:30:53.240
It doesn't make it easy to let it go,

1223
01:30:53.240 --> 01:30:55.080
but at least you can identify it like,

1224
01:30:55.080 --> 01:30:56.680
oh, that's resistance.

1225
01:30:56.680 --> 01:30:57.720
Oh, I can do that.

1226
01:30:58.120 --> 01:31:00.560
Because it's almost like, oh, that's within my control.

1227
01:31:00.560 --> 01:31:02.240
I can do something like that.

1228
01:31:02.240 --> 01:31:03.160
And that's what I think,

1229
01:31:03.160 --> 01:31:04.980
like both with that and with the weight,

1230
01:31:04.980 --> 01:31:07.480
like I get, I was like, oh, I just need to let it go.

1231
01:31:07.480 --> 01:31:08.420
But then I'm like,

1232
01:31:09.680 --> 01:31:12.200
but in my mind, I want to let it go with my mouth.

1233
01:31:12.200 --> 01:31:16.200
I say it, but I still feel that, oh, I'm not there.

1234
01:31:17.680 --> 01:31:18.520
You know what I mean?

1235
01:31:18.520 --> 01:31:19.360
Like, so I think-

1236
01:31:19.360 --> 01:31:21.680
Yeah, I'm still not actually doing it.

1237
01:31:21.680 --> 01:31:23.000
Yeah.

1238
01:31:23.000 --> 01:31:25.000
Which tools do I go into?

1239
01:31:25.000 --> 01:31:26.240
Like, what do I do?

1240
01:31:26.240 --> 01:31:28.880
So I think there's might be some similarities

1241
01:31:28.880 --> 01:31:30.140
to the both of like,

1242
01:31:31.480 --> 01:31:33.440
one is holding accusations against God

1243
01:31:33.440 --> 01:31:36.840
and the other I'm holding accusations against my own body.

1244
01:31:36.840 --> 01:31:37.760
Correct.

1245
01:31:37.760 --> 01:31:40.160
Which is something that we'll talk about on Sunday.

1246
01:31:40.160 --> 01:31:43.700
That was, hopefully we'll have time for that.

1247
01:31:45.040 --> 01:31:47.240
Because something that I talked to Nauda about

1248
01:31:47.240 --> 01:31:49.760
that she said when I worded it to her in a specific way,

1249
01:31:49.760 --> 01:31:53.320
cause she said, well, I'm having problems with this part.

1250
01:31:53.320 --> 01:31:56.060
And so I was like, oh, I'm glad you worded it like that.

1251
01:31:56.880 --> 01:31:57.980
And here's a new way to phrase it.

1252
01:31:57.980 --> 01:32:00.660
And she's like, okay, now that makes sense.

1253
01:32:00.660 --> 01:32:01.500
Because she was like,

1254
01:32:01.500 --> 01:32:03.220
I can't seem to do what you're telling me to do

1255
01:32:03.220 --> 01:32:05.940
cause I try to do it and it's not working.

1256
01:32:05.940 --> 01:32:08.260
And I can't let it go.

1257
01:32:08.260 --> 01:32:09.580
And I'm like, what about if you do this?

1258
01:32:09.580 --> 01:32:11.660
She's like, okay, there we go.

1259
01:32:11.660 --> 01:32:14.220
So anyway, I think she was trying to let go of something

1260
01:32:14.220 --> 01:32:16.180
that wasn't the thing that had to be let go of.

1261
01:32:16.180 --> 01:32:17.180
It was this other thing.

1262
01:32:17.180 --> 01:32:19.380
And she was like, oh, I can do that.

1263
01:32:19.380 --> 01:32:21.500
So anyway, we'll talk about that.

1264
01:32:21.500 --> 01:32:25.140
But anyway, so good, I'm glad it was helpful.

1265
01:32:25.140 --> 01:32:27.380
And I'm not entirely sure,

1266
01:32:27.380 --> 01:32:30.740
but I think that Ed might be able to join us

1267
01:32:30.740 --> 01:32:32.140
on Sunday night.

1268
01:32:32.140 --> 01:32:35.380
Because see, the reason why we were hurrying

1269
01:32:35.380 --> 01:32:36.700
to get all of this stuff done

1270
01:32:36.700 --> 01:32:40.060
is he's leaving to go out of town next week.

1271
01:32:40.060 --> 01:32:42.740
So that's why I kept asking, hey, what can you do Sunday?

1272
01:32:42.740 --> 01:32:44.160
Can you do Monday?

1273
01:32:44.160 --> 01:32:45.860
And I don't know why I didn't think about

1274
01:32:45.860 --> 01:32:48.220
just doing a transformation session today

1275
01:32:48.220 --> 01:32:50.100
and then the personal ministry session Sunday

1276
01:32:50.100 --> 01:32:52.060
and just switching him, but that's fine.

1277
01:32:52.060 --> 01:32:54.940
We'll see if maybe we can get some personal ministry time

1278
01:32:55.620 --> 01:32:57.220
with Ed on Sunday.

1279
01:32:57.220 --> 01:32:58.500
I'll have to ask him his schedule.

1280
01:32:58.500 --> 01:33:00.340
So anyway, let's go.

1281
01:33:00.340 --> 01:33:02.980
So, and just to make sure, then it's the same.

1282
01:33:04.420 --> 01:33:06.860
So is it now or is it the other time?

1283
01:33:06.860 --> 01:33:10.420
So will it be like now at nine or mine at eight?

1284
01:33:10.420 --> 01:33:12.620
So is it two or three?

1285
01:33:12.620 --> 01:33:14.980
Let's see, it is, I'm not sure.

1286
01:33:14.980 --> 01:33:17.620
Because we put it down as nine, I think.

1287
01:33:17.620 --> 01:33:19.700
So that's what I put it down for,

1288
01:33:19.700 --> 01:33:20.860
but then I don't know what the,

1289
01:33:20.860 --> 01:33:22.700
I just, either it's mine,

1290
01:33:22.700 --> 01:33:25.380
I just need to like know in my calendar.

1291
01:33:25.380 --> 01:33:26.660
Correct, exactly.

1292
01:33:28.500 --> 01:33:33.180
Let me look on my calendar.

1293
01:33:34.100 --> 01:33:37.180
Did you set it up or did I?

1294
01:33:37.180 --> 01:33:38.620
No, I set it up.

1295
01:33:38.620 --> 01:33:39.460
You set it up.

1296
01:33:39.460 --> 01:33:42.180
I clicked on the link and just booked it, yeah.

1297
01:33:43.820 --> 01:33:46.940
At the very first time, remember, that's why you had.

1298
01:33:46.940 --> 01:33:48.900
Oh, there it is, okay.

1299
01:33:48.900 --> 01:33:50.260
Okay, yes, all right.

1300
01:33:50.260 --> 01:33:53.580
So if you booked it, yes, it's nine o'clock your time

1301
01:33:53.580 --> 01:33:55.700
because I'm showing three o'clock my time.

1302
01:33:55.700 --> 01:33:56.540
Okay, cool.

1303
01:33:56.540 --> 01:33:57.940
Yeah, so yes.

1304
01:33:57.940 --> 01:33:59.540
So because you booked it,

1305
01:34:00.940 --> 01:34:03.780
Calendly recognizes your time zone in mine.

1306
01:34:03.780 --> 01:34:07.140
It was when I booked it that I didn't realize

1307
01:34:07.140 --> 01:34:10.580
that I'd had a time change and you all hadn't.

1308
01:34:10.580 --> 01:34:11.700
So that was the mess up.

1309
01:34:11.700 --> 01:34:15.020
But if you did it, it takes care of all that automatically.

1310
01:34:15.020 --> 01:34:16.420
So we're good.

1311
01:34:16.420 --> 01:34:18.180
Anyway, hopefully Ed will be able to join us

1312
01:34:18.180 --> 01:34:19.020
and be able to help

1313
01:34:19.020 --> 01:34:21.500
because he had some stuff on his heart and his spirit

1314
01:34:21.500 --> 01:34:22.340
about some stuff

1315
01:34:22.340 --> 01:34:24.900
and he's amazing at walking people through stuff.

1316
01:34:24.900 --> 01:34:26.620
Yeah, I mean, that would be amazing.

1317
01:34:26.620 --> 01:34:27.900
So yeah.

1318
01:34:27.900 --> 01:34:28.740
Great.

1319
01:34:28.740 --> 01:34:31.140
Okay, and just remember that this

1320
01:34:31.140 --> 01:34:33.380
and the personal ministry session and all of that,

1321
01:34:33.380 --> 01:34:34.740
well, this is personal ministry,

1322
01:34:34.740 --> 01:34:36.660
but this one and the next one that'll come

1323
01:34:36.660 --> 01:34:40.180
will be on the platform.

1324
01:34:40.180 --> 01:34:43.220
You'll have a separate group that just says your name

1325
01:34:43.220 --> 01:34:44.860
and you're the only one who sees it

1326
01:34:44.860 --> 01:34:46.740
and then all your stuff's in there.

1327
01:34:46.740 --> 01:34:47.580
So.

1328
01:34:47.580 --> 01:34:48.420
Yeah, that's perfect.

1329
01:34:49.260 --> 01:34:50.100
Thank you so much.

1330
01:34:50.100 --> 01:34:52.180
Good to spend time with you.

1331
01:34:52.180 --> 01:34:53.380
I'll see you Sunday.

1332
01:34:54.340 --> 01:34:55.180
Okay.

1333
01:34:55.180 --> 01:34:56.020
Bye.

1334
01:34:56.020 --> 01:34:56.860
Bye.