We can come back in.
There you are.
How's it going. Good. How are you doing good. Can you hear me okay. Or is that I can. Can you hear me.
Yes, I just wanted to make sure that apparently construction or whatever going on behind me isn't coming through the phone terribly. Not at all.
Perfect. Okay, because I was told that the air pods, make the sound sound worse. I'm trying to not use them. They're old. So,
Karen and Renata alerted me to it they said when I put the air pods on the sound quality goes down so they're two years old, they, I probably just need to replace them so anyway.
So,
well, sort of, but it's just because I've made it busy I am.
I had a call earlier transformation session this morning, and then I've been cleaning all day. So, that's what I've been doing to really, it's what you're you're in Texas right now.
Yeah, it's a beautiful day.
It's very pretty after after the storm we're still all having trouble with with internet up here in North Texas, but it you know and sell. So I have the best internet and cell service, and everybody else around me.
And they're either their their carriers just are having issues so anyway. So I'm grateful I can keep working.
And I said, I hope you're not to be I was like the what's the best day because Monday I work all day.
And then Sunday, you know, sometimes you know things come up and then it's I was like I hope today's a good day for you. Because, yeah.
Yeah.
I don't have a life.
So, I can pretty much do anything, anytime.
So, what exactly do we I don't know how these go so I don't know exactly what.
Oh yeah the you've never had a transformation session so really it's just kind of like think of it like a fireside chat only private. So, this is usually the time where people ask me questions that maybe they'd be fine asking with other people, but there
that depending on how personal or private they are they'd rather just talk through, you know, on a transformation session for instance some people.
I just give you an idea about like how private it is like sometimes some people talk about like oh they're having issues with their mom and the like tell me all these specifics, but they don't want that to be public or and then other people will talk
about well I don't enjoy having, you know, I don't enjoy being intimate with my husband.
You know what should do.
So that kind of it. So how did so it sometimes it's just stuff like they don't want to talk about and in public and then, and then also it just gives literally a person an entire hour, just to be able to ask questions and get answers specific to their situations
or okay that was really fascinating that so and so asked that, but, and I could try to apply it to my own situation but this gets like direct answers and so people find have historically at least even though it doesn't have a community aspect to it like
they have historically found these, these times of like private, and just these private transformation sessions to be more powerful, just because they could get a lot of specific answers in a short amount of time.
Okay.
I was just checking with you see and how you're doing, what would you like to talk.
Yeah, yeah, I'm doing really good. I, I had bought this chair that I'm sitting in, like, because I have like a thrift store, it's like a Salvation Army, but, but for some reason this particular one.
They always have really nice things I mean they always have nice things like, and a lot of.
Yes, so a lot of antiques a lot of antiques like if you can go in on a Saturday, and they put everything 25% off right.
And it's just nice things and you're like, Oh, I wish I had more money. But, so anyway, I bought this chair for like 20 bucks right.
And then I said you know what.
but I'm gonna use it as a prayer chair.
This was like last year when I moved in.
I'm gonna use it as a prayer chair
because I could just sit in there
and just not too comfortable, you know,
so I won't fall asleep, just a regular chair, right?
And I had bought it and I had put it next to some books
and in the entryway and that it was just there.
And then I said, you know what?
I'm gonna bring it in my room
and I'm gonna sit it right next to my bed
because I said this was gonna be a prayer chair
and I did it as a prophetic act just this week.
So I cleaned and I made room
and just so that I'm saying in my space,
I'm giving God space.
Like this is your chair.
And you know what?
Ever since I put it here, I'm so glad I did.
It's a constant reminder, spend time with God.
This is his chair.
Like it's not his chair, it's my chair,
but I have been doing that.
I sit here and as soon as I sit here, I just wanna cry.
When I make space to sit here in time,
I just wanna cry because I feel like he's pleased
just that I'm giving him and it humbles me
and it makes me feel so bad and I'm like,
I can't believe God that I haven't given you more,
in my physical space.
I know that sounds, I know people have prayer closets
and sometimes people have whole rooms.
I wish I had that kind of room.
I don't, one day I'll have a physical room
or even a prayer closet, but I don't have it.
It's a real small apartment.
So, okay, God, it would have to be,
I have a chair in the ottoman,
but the time that I've spent here has been
just so precious, just spending time here.
But yeah, and so anyway, to me, this was huge.
This was huge doing this because it's something
that I have wanted to do.
And I saw your video that talked about
not wanting to spend time with God.
It's like, who doesn't wanna spend time with God?
I think we all have a desire to spend time, right?
But it's like carving out space and the time to do it.
And I'm getting more of a desire to do it.
I'm having more of a desire.
I didn't, I was in a spiritual rut.
I think that's why God led me to you.
Holy Spirit led me to you.
I was in a rut and I just feel like I'm coming out,
like I'm coming out, like I just feel that in my spirit.
But one thing that I did wanted to ask you
was about relationships.
That is one thing that I have struggled in,
not in my past, not later,
just in, ever since I've gotten divorced,
I've, I don't know what to say, ever since I've got,
see, when I got divorced, when I was in the church,
going with my husband to church, Mike's husband,
we would go to church, no big deal.
We would, as a family, go and everything.
But I noticed that when I got divorced
and when I was in the church,
it was just so different being single.
And this was, nobody knew I was divorced.
A lot of times, nobody knew.
It was just being alone.
It wasn't that I felt bad.
It wasn't that I felt alone or anything like that.
A lot of times I was excited to go.
It was just that I felt I was treated differently.
I felt that, and it could have been
that I was going through some things, maybe,
but a lot of times I just felt like
there was no space for me in the church.
As a single woman, I felt,
and then more so a single mother,
that there was just no, like all the marriages were together
and a lot of times they had the single group.
I don't know how to explain it.
Anyway, not to be, I'm not trying to be negative.
Yeah.
I'm not trying to be negative
because I wasn't looking to hook up
or anything like that, you know?
So, but when I went back to the church,
I, as far as after the divorce,
that I was just like all in and I was happy.
And I didn't know anything about single Christian culture.
Didn't know nothing.
I was so ignorant.
I was, I got married at 22.
I was very naive back then.
And I was, even I was still naive after I got divorced.
I didn't know nothing about single Christian culture.
So on my Facebook, I just started friending everybody.
Single men, Christian men, oh, he's a Christian, oh, he's a Christian, oh, he's a minister.
Oh, just, you know, friend, friend, friend, friend, friend, you know, so ignorant.
You know, I had no idea. You can imagine.
Just time passed by and I had, I mean, it just got so bad.
I had to close and open another one.
Because, I don't know how to explain it.
When I started wanting to trust again and have friends, started wanting to trust people again.
This girl, she befriended me, she was a Christian girl.
She befriended me and I thought she was sincere.
I thought she wanted to be my friend.
It turns out she was trying to be my friend because somebody else was urging her to approach me to find out more about me.
So when she initially started calling me, she was from San Antonio.
She moved out of state, but I thought, oh, you know, well, she's, you know, oh, how nice.
She's such a sweet person and, you know, my discernment was shot because I was just coming out of divorce.
I was so hurt and all of that that I just, I couldn't see, I mean, I'm thinking, I don't know.
So anyway, it turns out that a lot, I trusted her, I trusted her.
So a lot of things that I told her, dreams and things she went around and told other people, but this particular man that was interested in me.
And it really hurt.
I looked at it as a betrayal, you know, it really hurt.
So anyway, now I'm more guarded, but I know God is telling me, Diana, you have to, those walls need to come down.
Like you need to trust people.
You need to start building friendships again.
Now, when it comes to family, you know, I'm close to my family.
I'm not isolated.
I do have friends and sisters in the church and I do, but it's like, I keep a lot of them at a distance.
Like, you know, it's like not, I have like maybe three friends that are really close, everything about me, but that's about it.
That's about it.
Because even if they did say anything, like I wouldn't care, it wouldn't matter.
Like, you know, we're that, they've been like for more than 20 years, 25 years, you know, but I can't see new people.
I struggle new people and men.
Oh Lord.
And it doesn't matter if he says he's Christian.
I don't seem, I don't seem to want to be able to, you know, like I can't.
It's not that I, I think my perception needs to change in that as far as, because I know not all men are the same, right?
Of course, you know, I've met, there's a lot of good men, you know, but when it comes to male friendships, like I'm not willing, you know, to put myself out there.
Like maybe at a distance, but not open up too much, not part of it is because I have been hurt, but God's been healing my heart.
But, so I don't even know where to start.
But I know that I need to, I know that I can't be that way.
And I have good relationships with my brothers, very close relationship, my two older brothers.
I had a good relationship with my father.
So I don't have daddy issues or anything like that.
My, my ex-husband and I, we, we were good friends.
So we're still good friends, even though we got divorced and even though there was adultery and all of that, I forgave him.
And because of my son, we have a good relationship, you know?
And so it's not like I have like a hatred towards men at all.
No, nothing like that.
I do have some healthy, but I've noticed that like towards my pastors that I had with her, I was so drawn and, and just so, I loved her, you know, I would, but with him, it was like, and he was older, he's like 80.
So he's more like a grandpa, but still, you know, you, but I'm still like, you know, you know, not.
I don't know if people do that, if they do open up with, I've never, I don't think I've
had a spiritual father ever.
I've had, you know, pastors that have been, they've been like pastors, but I wouldn't
say a spiritual father where they've been like so close.
I don't know, so yeah, a lot of issues there.
Well, for one thing, I have a couple of teachings.
It's basically part one and part two, and I'm trying to remember why maybe like the
internet cut off or something.
And so I had to start again, but whatever it was I have, because people have asked me
this before, you know, of like, Hey, how do you make friends in basically what they were
asking was how do you make friends and rest?
Because they were struggling making friends, either they were wanting to, and they just
didn't feel others were reciprocating, or they didn't quite know how to open up.
So I'll post that as soon as I can get the ability to upload.
And then one, so it, so I definitely understand and can feel your pain.
I've been there for probably most of my life, actually, of struggling to trust emotionally
or connect with people.
My issue, though, was with women, not so much with men, with men, I just didn't know how
to connect with, but it was the women that I didn't trust, because I had history.
So with people, so anyway, I don't know if that's necessarily your issue.
I'm just mentioning that that was just kind of mine.
So and, and you're right, it is very different being single.
I had a lot of issues, bitterness, a lot of hurt from being single.
The majority is single adults, the majority of my life.
So I didn't get married until I was 38.
So and then of course, you know, you're considered an adult at 18.
And so that's over half of my life.
And I noticed that yeah, people don't understand that there's this whole stigma.
There's this whole there's, there's a lot of isolation and alienation.
And because there's a bubble of everyone who's married and everyone who and, and then that's
the with kids married with kids close.
And then a bit further out, you've got marriage without kids or single with kids.
And then on the out of that is, is the single people and, and I would always try to explain
that to my friends who were married, and they just didn't, they just didn't understand.
But it was very, very, very, very hard.
And I was told that I was, I was told, no, you, that's, that's, that's not like that.
I was being negative, but I'm like, no, I've been on both sides.
Yes.
I was in the church when I was married with my husband, and they accepted so easily with
him.
Nobody mess with me because, but yet now, not only do I feel like I don't fit anywhere,
but I feel also that I'm protected.
I feel like I'm open for anybody to say and do, because they don't do that with single
men.
They don't, they don't get single men and say, la, la, la, la, la, because they can't.
But with women, I just feel like they're open game.
Correct.
Just unprotected single women.
When you, when you say, when you say they don't say such and such to single men, but
they do women say what?
Like I just feel like men, single men are treated differently in the church.
I feel like they're more accepted, like they're more, um, that I don't know, I, I just see
it that way.
I'm not, it goes single women.
It's it's like, correct.
I don't know if it's because some women are threatened by single women.
I mean, let's be honest.
Sometimes that's the case there they are.
And then, and it doesn't, it has nothing to do with, with looks or with anything.
It's just that that's just the way it is.
And so, uh, I guess it's not that threat or, yeah, it is.
It's very interesting.
Um, I've noticed I've watched my, um, my husband's, my husband, of course, has been single his
whole life.
Um, until, you know, just what, eight months ago, something like that.
And, and I've, I've just kind of gathered information from being around being in the environments that he was in while he was single. Some of them was of course while he was still single of course we, we were dating was know that we weren't always dating
at that time we were friends we were dating and then sometime, and then, and then of course after we got married, but I would see him in those situations and I could tell he had a very different experience than I did.
And so there's a variety there's different reasons for it, if you just get down to like brass tacks.
And, you know, it's a spiritual thing, women are women are were always meant to be covered, meaning like they were always meant to be provided for they were always meant to be protected.
Not by, which is why in the Bible, that if she didn't have her, if she wasn't married. She was always in her father's household, unless she got married.
And then, and then her husband died. And then she was always covered by his and by his brothers and then his father and all that and that's why, because God intended for them to always be covered and protected so that means it's because they're,
they are spiritually speaking, I'm talking about like in spirit realm.
And there's trying to think of how to how to phrase it but that that women are more not just spiritually sensitive but there's some kind of a, I don't know connection that women have and spiritual or.
Sorry, but is it almost like gatekeepers, or like this special they have this special treasure.
And which is why some people say that Solomon had so many wives, is because he knew that it was through women that he could gain that that spiritual that spiritual connection, and the spiritual treasure that women had.
I don't know. I didn't add it I didn't even know how to describe it I know what I'm trying to say, but I don't really know how to drive it without sounding really weird.
But anyway, because again, this is just stuff that I've heard, and, and I don't don't know a whole lot about it but the point is that when I actually watch regardless what people say when I actually watch what happens with women, I'm thinking okay that makes
sense. Basically, women are, are, are the weaker sex.
They're more vulnerable. They weren't meant to have to fight for themselves they weren't meant to have to protect themselves they weren't meant for all of that.
And so that's why they, they feel like they do when they're not married.
protection or under whatever. There's no set they were meant to belong. They were, they were always there was always meant to be a place provided for them, not that they create for themselves, but that was provided for them.
And they, and therefore because they're weaker, they're more susceptible to spiritual threat. That's why they need to be protected, is they are there's they they house and have connections to however you want to phrase it, a very special treasure that has
to be taken care of. It has to be cherished has to be nurtured has to whatever. And that was meant to be done by someone else. She nurtures it, and he in there in there, she's meant to be covered.
And so the thing is that if there's not that covering. Well then she feels the vulnerability, and she gets the attacks for it. She isn't she people feel naturally and unreasonably threatened by women, women feel threatened by women.
And again, there's a great value in a woman. And so women feel threatened by it, there's a great value and men feel you know can feel threatened by it as well and so threatened meaning like for instance, I don't know if you've encountered this but I noticed
that people had a tendency to feel that they had a right to tell me what to do, or to correct me, you know, and they, and they don't, you know, but I'll notice that they wouldn't do it with the married women but that they do.
Yeah. Oh, they wouldn't do that. And this is that's to it. The
church that so many people want to do that, like, point things
out. And I'm thinking, nobody even would even have dared to do
that when I was married. You know, right?
It's an odd twist of feeling threatened. And also, but it's
so that's what twists it. But really, what that's coming from
is this, this, this thing that we all know, that she's supposed
to be covered. So people who don't have the authority are
taking the fact that they feel threatened and insecure and
twisting this good thing, which is supposed to have protection,
but then it gets twisted into correction, because they don't
have the right to do it. So anyway, it ends up taking a very
good thing that they have this sense is supposed to help
provide for this thing that they feel is very wrong. There's
this woman out there alone, and that's an issue, whatever, and
then, and then trying to correct it in a way that God didn't,
trying to address it in a way that God didn't intend to
provide for the situation ends up creating a very twisted and
corrupted version. So anyway, it's very, very hurtful. But
that it's so you are hurt because, because you are what it
is that you carry and who it is the Lord and who it is that you
are, is that precious, precious things are, they're, they're
pure. And they aren't. They're meant, like I keep saying,
they're meant to be covered. They're not meant to protect
themselves, they're meant to be protected. And so when it when
it's exposed, and it gets attacked, it hurts, because it's
not intended to be it's a very precious thing. So anyway, the
reason I say all of that is I'm not wanting to like you're what
you're talking about, not wanting to make all this sound
really negative or anything. It's to point out why you feel
that way. It's, it's to encourage you that what you have
and who you are is that valuable. That's why it hurts.
It's meant to be covered. So you feel the vulnerability. But it's
not a vulnerability is in like, oh, I'm weak. And therefore, I
don't matter. I'm not as I'm not significant, or I'm not as
significant as the as my male counterparts, you know, as the
single man, you know, or as married woman or whatever. It's
not it's that you're so valuable, but you're not being
covered. So what I would do when I was in that situation, this
changed everything for me when I was single, is I just would then
submit myself to the Lord's protection, because he says that
I don't remember where in the Bible, I don't remember if it's
the Psalms, or whatever. But he basically but he says that if
the widows and the orphans are not covered, he will cover them.
So, in other words, if they are not provided for God himself, he
says will take up the charge.
And there's a scripture that says that he's like our, our
husband, our maker.
Yeah, yeah. He said in those days, you will no longer call
me my you will call me your husband, you will no longer
call me my master. So yes, if he's our husband, he is our, you
know, he's our covering. And yes, he provides that for for
even like married people. He provides that for like everyone,
but there is a special way in which he does it for when people
are single. And so what I would do is I would claim that not
claim it as in Oh, it doesn't exist until I claim it. It's
that I would claim the fact that it already exists in order
to allow it to have the authority in my life to protect
me. So remember that we already have everything. But if we're if
we're not experiencing it, it means that we haven't come into
agreement with the fact that that is who God is. And so
therefore, it's not allowing us to receive it. So we're in
resistance. So it's not that we don't already have it. If we're
not experiencing it, though, it means we're resisting receiving
it. So that's what I mean, when I say that I would claim it is
I'm not trying to claim something I don't already have
and be like, Okay, I'm going to see what it is I can go get for
myself out of God's storage room. It's that no, I'm going to
come into agreement with what it is that I says that I already
have, then that is going to allow and meaning like I'm going
to receive and this is very important, meaning I am going to
receive him as protector and provider, meaning that I no
longer have control of it. I don't get to dictate what that
protection and provision looks like. It's God being protector
and God being provider. And then let's just see with him being
that in my life, me receiving that in my life. I'm just
letting him show up as he wants to, as whatever protector and
provider means to him in any given situation.
And I'm telling you what it things changed, because that in a variety of things changed how people treated me changed, and how.
And then how I.
And then I didn't feel as threatened.
When certain people didn't recognize that covering of the Lord.
I'm just like, Oh, whatever.
When before it used to bother me, but then, but then it stopped bothering me.
But then other people just changed.
And so since, and I'm telling you what, even other people have always looked at my life.
And they've said Ashley, God is always protecting you he's always hiding you. I was like, I know, you know, people are just shocked at the things that I've done at the places that I've gone at the situations that I've been in, you know people I've been
with and they're just like how I'm like, it's, it's God's always protecting me. So any just any any always has.
And anyway, so that changed everything for me is when I chose to receive him as protector and provider, instead of feeling sorry for myself, feeling and feeling and believing that I was unprotected or uncovered.
I would receive the covering of the Lord. And then, and then act like that, because I was choosing that it was my reality, not a wishful thinking of something I wanted to be true and I hoped was working.
It has to be that I choose it is my reality, and to the point where I'm risking disappointment. I'm like so emotionally invested that if something didn't, you know, something went different than I expected, then I could risk disappointment.
You know I myself vulnerable to you know, and I put myself out there and where were you and that's just the other stuff that we have to continue to work through with the Lord where he's like, I always protect you always provide for you.
You just have to see it the way that I see it. Anyway, that that made all of the difference for me.
And, and that's just all this stuff you know that I've already been talking about, you know, in the rest intensive about meaning like how you do that yes you choose by faith and all that.
And remember that you are loved. Choose that you were beloved. Choose that he is as deep and as sure as wide and as intimate and as, as unconditional, as he declares that it is.
And do the same thing with your union with the Lord, and and really latch on to and choose those two things. And you will have to continue to not just remind yourself of them but remind yourself to the point where you're like, you're choosing them again
and again and again because different, different things will come up or like I used to do that, you know, when I would wake up every morning, choosing things and then I would do it throughout the day you know when I was doing things I thought were mundane or when I was about
to do something I was intimidated by or I was scared or, or whatever I would do those things and then it became such a, I was, I was exercising my choice so much that I began to, I mean, I began to subconsciously always choose it.
So I wasn't always having to consciously remind myself that I was starting to live it and be transformed by that faith, more and more and more. So anyway, and then as far as the stuff you know with like with making friends.
What I would recommend is yeah you just have you have to make yourself vulnerable, you have to choose that your protection is in the Lord, not that you have to protect yourself.
And then in that protection in that covering. How do you want to make friends, how do you want to proceed.
It's important to always present yourself in your, in, in your authenticity of like who it is that you are in your spirit who it is that you are in your soul, but then you don't have to like, but then you can just present certain aspects of yourself.
Yeah, meaning like expose them or mention them or reveal them or whatever. And not just like everything kind of like think of it kind of like a first date thing, you know, similar to a first date of like, okay, well I'm not going to tell them all that stuff but you know I'll tell
them that I like pizza that I like whatever. Yeah, so you're authentic in your, and you are vulnerable because that's the other thing in French if you have to be vulnerable you can't have a friendship with the walls up, but you just choose the areas to be vulnerable
in, or the degree in other words the degree to which to be vulnerable because
That's the only way in which they have a relationship
with you to respond to.
Otherwise, they're not gonna know you.
And so therefore, no matter how they act towards you,
even if they want to see you more often or whatever,
it's not really you that they've gotten to know anyway.
But you just be very, you just think of it again,
like what we've been talking about
is what it is that you have and who it is,
meaning like who it is that you are,
what is embedded within you spiritually,
meaning like in the spirit realm,
what is embedded in you is a great treasure
and it's to be cherished.
And that is your charge by the Lord
is to nurture and cherish and protect that thing.
And so that is a beautiful thing to be offering of yourself
to someone else.
And so just kind of like, if you think of it,
sorry, there's a little squirrel.
He's decided to visit.
Hey.
I don't know if you can see him.
Yeah, I see it, yeah.
Anyway, just kind of, I was like,
I don't know what's going on.
There's something alive behind me.
And I don't remember where I left off,
but anyway, it's all of this is making sense.
It's because I mean it in a different way
than we're always told.
Oh yeah, in order to have friendship,
you need to be vulnerable and you need to,
but don't give all of yourself.
Just get part of yourself.
I don't mean it to sound as cliche-ish as we've all heard.
I'm talking about how to do it from a place
of you're being completely secure in the Lord.
Okay, here's part of it.
Where you're being completely,
this is the kind of the foundation
of how to approach relationships
and like how to start whatever,
is you become so secure in who it is
that you are between you and the Lord
and you value that person.
Because remember, you are God's,
are the first charge that God's given you, is yourself.
Even before your son, God gave you, you.
I mean, there's no one who can, you know,
and he's like, I need you to safeguard this.
I need you to give this to creation.
I need you to give this to your son.
I need you, but you have to have it
in order to give it, right?
So anyway, if you become so secure
in the fact that you and God are okay,
you and God are, you know,
he fully loves and accepts you no matter what.
And there's no separation,
even when you're sinning and all kinds of stuff.
And then that person who no longer needs other people
to provide for or to provide for any kind of needs
that one has, from that place of security
and then this place that who it is that you have,
who it is that you are is so valuable
and you treasure it so much, what of that,
but you're also secure, feeling covered,
what of that do you want to share?
And just very naturally, very normally,
as opposed to thinking about it from the perspective of,
okay, well, let's decide what subjects are going to be safe
and how much I'm going to tell them about it.
You know, and in thinking of it kind of like a formula,
you just do it very naturally
and you'll know very naturally what to say in conversations,
like which things to, how much to reveal,
how much to try, how much to risk,
because all of it's going to be a risk.
I mean, that's just the way that it is,
but you're just mitigating the risk.
So it's more, it's lower risk instead of a higher risk.
And, but you'll know more effortlessly
and just, I don't know, just,
I was going to say authentically,
but anyway, you'll just know more effortlessly
and more genuinely, like from your actual being,
what aspect of yourself that you want to share.
And I don't mean like necessarily something about you.
I mean, what aspect of your heart
that you want to express and share in a moment
without you having to plan it
and figure it out and determine,
okay, well, how much and whatever,
you have to be solid with you and God.
And then from that place,
then you interact with someone and then allow God to,
and then obviously all relationships are risky,
but one of the things is you just trust your,
you trust the relationship with God,
saying, okay, God,
I'm going to entrust this relationship to you.
And I would ask that you would show me
if there's any red flags,
protect my heart from,
meaning like not protect as in keep something out,
but rather Lord, protect,
help me protect and safeguard the.
the treasure that you've given me, and then, and then know how to know who to give that
access to, because Lord, I don't know.
For me, it's a guessing game.
Sometimes I feel like I'm being discerning and then look what happened, you know, or
sometimes I don't know if that's me or if that's you talking or whatever.
So if you just entrust a lot of this, if you just trust it to the Lord and say, okay, God,
I'm going to just try to be myself.
I'm asking that you protect me in being vulnerable, in being authentic, and being who you may
be to be.
I ask that you be the safe place that allows me to be myself with other people.
The way that I kind of see it is, it's kind of the masculine and the feminine interacting.
And if we think about God taking on the masculine role, which he does, you know, in the church
that people take on the feminine role in our relationship with the Lord, it's not feminine
as in women, it's feminine as in a feminine energy.
In other words, the one, the energy that receives instead of the energy that initiate.
And so that the masculine was meant to kind of like, provide a safe space for the feminine
to not have to worry about the space that she's in and trying to create a structure.
So it leaves her free to express herself and to enjoy herself while she's being given
boundaries by the masculine, but that are flexible.
It's so, so she's got all this to think of it kind of like the air, like she's the air
and the masculine is the balloon.
And so the air in the balloon can actually push the balloon this way or push the balloon
this way, meaning like inside, you know, it can bubble the balloon like this, it can bubble
it like this.
It can make it round, you know, as the air inside, but there's still a limit, you know,
there's only so much space in there.
And so she can try to push it in this direction and the balloon will flex out in that direction
a little bit, you know, whatever, but she can't pop out of that structure.
So it provides her the freedom to freely express herself and be without being vulnerable
and exposed to the unprotected environment where she's just out there, you know, where
the balloon pops and she's just out there, she's still in the balloon.
So she can see that as a limitation, or she could see that as she is being protected and
not restricted, but she's being protected in order to be able to experience and express
freedom.
She can do whatever she wants in this space, but the only ability that the only thing that's
given her the ability to do whatever she wants is that it's within this protected space.
She can't do whatever she wants, wherever she wants, she can do whatever she wants in
this particular space.
That's freedom.
That's what God does for us is allow him to show you, you know, the boundaries and the,
and whatever.
And those boundaries, by the way, are flexible.
They're not rigid.
It's like the balloon.
If the balloon is rubber, it can stretch, you know, it can get bigger, get smaller.
You know, it can, I know I'm not doing the balloon very well, but it can get like narrow
or it can get bad.
It can push down here and there, you know, the air can do all kinds of stuff.
So the boundaries are flexible, but they are still boundaries.
So just allow God, give it over to Lord very intentionally to provide you a protected environment
in the spirit and in the physical or in the emotional or whatever, so that you no longer
have to think about it and you can just be you.
But it does mean that you're still, that you're being you in a protected environment.
So give, relieve the need and because you have a need to be protected.
That's what God wants for you.
Not you have a need is in you want it.
I'm saying that God needs you to be protected.
That's what God needs.
So let him do that.
And that leaves you free so that you don't have to expend your energy on all of that
and expend your energy, just expressing yourself.
And then, and so, but you have to give that over the Lord and you're no longer in control
and you're no longer the one who gets to say, so God is, he's got the boundaries, got the
limitations and whatever, but you get all the freedom or you get all of the blessing
and all of the being spoiled by getting to whatever you want in this space.
So like, I think, I don't know if you were on the call when I said the other day, I was
like, you know, women have it pretty good.
good. Yeah, we do have, we do have to, you know, we've got
those limitations, you know, the submission and the whatever.
But it's all to allow us to not have that responsibility and
that burden.
Oh, yeah. Oh, I, I love that. Actually, I'm not I am. I don't
know why. But when I was married, I love that. I loved
that there was a certain some things that I didn't need to
deal with. Yeah, I felt that protected covered, like you
said, and, and I love that aspect. I, I did like some
women, you know, they, they can't their thing, they have
trouble with that. Me, I was like, Oh, you can take it. You
can take it.
That's right. I'll just be over here. I'll take care of it. I
don't mind being the submissive wife. And it wasn't like a
wasn't like a subservient, like a Yeah, what kind of thing? But
you know, yeah, like, like having that spiritual covering
that's your husband, and then, like, he's responsible. He's
accountable. You know, there's Yeah, there's definitely and
having been married and now single. Oh, I can feel that
difference. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So you can give that to the Lord.
He'll also tell you, you know, the things like in the physical
that your husband used to do for you, you know, you can you can,
you know, even though you have to do them now, God will, you
know, like, I don't know, like, take care of the finances or
whatever group of things that you're the car or whatever it is
that he used to do, you know, you're like, I really didn't
want to do this. I really didn't care.
I hate the most is the car. Oh, yeah. I didn't even wash my car.
I didn't even use to put gas in my car. I mean, I was so
ignorant. As far as the car when it was time to get my sticker. I
was like, how do we do that? I have to ask everybody. I'm like,
yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. I know. I know women like that.
They don't even know how to put gas in her. And but because the
husband just takes care of it for them. But anyway, so the
thing is that even though there's certain things that you
have to do now, you don't it has a feeling that comes with it of
like, I now have to do it for myself. I'm no longer you can
think of it as unprotection. But it can also just kind of be
like this. You know, I now have a burden that I didn't use to
have. And so all of those things, burden, weight,
responsibility, all of these negative heavy things, those
can go to God, and you can actually give him the burden of
having to take care of the car, the responsibility of what's
going to happen, you know, are you making the right decision,
you know, because the mechanic said that, Oh, my word, this is
really dire, you got to fix it. But I need your permission. And
then you have to sit there and go, yeah, but does it really
have to have it right now? You know, you just kind of like,
okay, give over the burden, responsibility, the Lord, of all
of those things. And then you just enjoy participating with
him in the doing of them, without carrying the burden,
the weight and responsibility of them. That sounds very strange
when we try to know, I can't I know, I know, I need to be more
dependent on God. Because what what happens is, is, you know,
when you feel like there's so much that you have to do, you
know, as a single person or single mother, but there's so
much you have to do that you want you learn to be
independent. But we can't, I can't be independent from God,
like, I have to be dependent on him. So that's something I had
to work on every day. To not feel like I'm alone out in the
world. You know, I know, I don't feel alone. But you know, yeah,
when you have an issue or something come up that, you
know, it's like, oh, but, but yes, I have to work on that
every day. Because I am such a doer, you know, like, you could
say a hustler, because I just do do do do, you know, because my
when I first got divorced, my husband, he used to be ex
husband, he used to have a good job and everything. And so when
I first I said, Oh, I can do this. My first thought was I
can do this, I can do this. And I got two jobs, which was, you
know, as time went on, I realized that I wasn't being
dependent on God, you know, I wasn't leaning on him and saying
God, you know, I'm trusting you, you are my help, my help comes
from you. You know, no matter if I have one job, two jobs, no
job, I will be I will be supplied for because, you know,
so it I struggle with that every single day. So that's one area
that I have to give to God all the time. And it's one that my
finances is one that Yeah, I just, I do I struggle with that.
So, but I am not as far as just in giving
in him that part, everything all the time. And in trusting that
he's going to supply all my needs, everything. Yeah, you
know, because I want to get in there. And I want to go in and
help God. Yeah. He says, I'm going to like I will supply for
you. And you know, when that is about living by faith, and you
know what that is, I don't know what that is. But I can't even
imagine because I've never really lived on my own by faith.
Like, I've been without a job, and I've trusted him. But that's
not the same. So I've never and but even with that, I do I, you
know, that's hard to, to not have money coming in regularly,
but having to depend on God, or even your food and that, you
know, I have been in places where I have needed, but it's,
it's hard, you know, to put to surrender completely and say,
doesn't matter, like, I'm, I trust you. And I'm in that
place right now where I'm God is saying, Diana, you need to trust
me, you know, you need to trust me with whether you have it or
not, you know, you, I mean, because my job could be gone
tomorrow. The reality is it could, I'm not I'm not dependent
on my job. You know, if I have to be 100% dependent on God, I
realize. So it's daily.
Yeah.
So it was, is the stuff that I was explaining? Does that make
sense? Is that helpful? Does it? Does it kind of land? Does it
sound practical? Like, okay, I know how to step into this as
opposed to concept? Like, do you know how to step into it?
Yes, yes. I have to. Yeah, it's something I have to work on. I
talked about the friendships. Either one, I guess. Yeah. Yeah,
yeah. No, I I have to just put myself out there. I have to
risk. I've got to take the first step I have to. Yeah. So it's
something that I'm working on. Because I get I get a lot of
people that are not a lot of people. But you know, there's
some people that and I know that, that God is is that's
drawing me to people, certain people, he's drawing me to
people. But I need to be put that word receptacle, like I
need to be able to receive and give and be open, and open, open
minded, open heart, everything to be able to receive. And so
there's something God's been telling me, like, I prayed for
friendships that, you know, more friendships, more godly. And so
I, I'm on Monday nights, I go to a woman's group. And it's,
it's called cultivate. It's at a church close to where I live.
And there's like, in our group, there's like about 12 of us. And
so it's, we're following like this book where it talks about,
it talks about how to be healthy, you know, how to heal
and how to have good relationship, all that, all that
stuff, too. And it's like five months long. So we meet every
Monday night. But we sit in a circle and it's like therapy.
Because in that group, you're, you're like, it's, it's weird,
because how everything's so different, right? Everywhere you
go. But this group is like, you're encouraged just to, it's
not about asking questions. It's, it's about, it's about the
stuff in the material that we're going through that particular
week, to, to, to talk about it, like, if it's about unhealthy
relationships, or whatever it is, they want to hear your
experience. Like they want to hear like, you know, it's just,
it's a little different. But what's good come out of that is
that I have made friendships in that circle. I've met local
women here. So it's good. And that's why I tell you because I,
I want to cultivate good relationships. And, and I know
that, that I'm just gonna have to step out there and risk, I'm
gonna have to put myself out there. Because how will you
know, right? Like, yeah, you need to, it's a risk. But, you
know, you've got, I have to do that, you know, I'm gonna have
to open up and I'm gonna have to go out there. And, and yeah,
sometimes I guess I may get hurt. But that's the part of
what kind of relationship that's rewarding is, you know, there's
good times and bad times, right?
Correct. Yeah. Yeah. And like I said, if you would do it from a
place
face of, you know, being anchored in your identity in the Lord. I'm unified with Him.
I'm unconditionally loved and accepted. I am always okay with God. God and I are always
okay. And He's my protector. He's my provider. Okay. So it settles all of the needs in us.
And then we can just, we can feel just relaxed. We can feel at rest. We can feel anchored.
We can feel secure. And then from that place, you know, remembering we've got a treasure,
okay, God, who do I, who do I share this with? And how do I do it? And, and, and meaning
like, sure, you can pray intentionally about it, but sometimes about specific people, but
sometimes it's just, you know, what God gives you, you know, in the moment, you're just
kind of like, okay, well, where am I sensing the Lord leading right now to connect with
so-and-so or so-and-so walked up to me at church, or should I see so-and-so and I'm
just kind of drawn to them. Like, well, I'll just walk up to them and I'll just say, and
I'll just ask them how they're doing or compliment them or whatever. And it didn't have to be
big and, and there was that. And then I make, cause maybe I've never talked to them before.
And then I just tell them it was really nice to meet them. And then I leave so that there's
no pressure on them. There's no pressure on me, but I've done something. I've reached
It's like, whatever kind of like feels right in the moment from the place of you're, you're
secure. You're at rest. You don't need, in other words, you don't have an agenda. Cause
that's what we want to do is to eliminate the agenda. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying
to have relationships. I'm trying to kids very effortlessly have relationships, you
know, they just, they just go out there and they just do it. Right. It's just very, it's
very effortless. They don't think about it, you know, and then they fall on the sticks
along the way and they're just like, Oh, whatever. Yeah. And they keep going. My son was the
only child. Right. And he would, we would go to playgrounds and he would say, he would
meet a friend on the playground and he would say, mom, mom, mom, he's coming home with
me. I'm like, no, you just met him, but he would invite him. Cause he wanted friends
and he'd have brothers and sisters and he would always make friends at the playground
so easily. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I, in fact, it's reminded me of a friend of mine's little
daughter. I was, I, I, this was my first time meeting her little girl cause they lived out
in California and was, so we've met it. So my friend and I, and her little girl met at
a, like a, I don't know, McDonald's or Burger King or something. And so we're at one of
those indoor playgrounds and there was a kid playing for a little bit. And so she, so her
little daughter, who's like was three at the time, you know, took her shoes off. She
just gets in there, you know, and she's, she's making a friend. And you know, this poor guy,
he's this little kid, he's like, mommy, she won't leave me alone. You know? Anyway, so
the boy finally left, you know, and then my little girl, my little friend's girl was so
sad. And so she came and she sat down and ate her chicken nuggets a bit. She did some
other stuff. And then, and then her mom saw a mom come in or a grandmother or something
come in with two little kids. And she said, look, look, here's some more friends. And
she just lit up. She gets down. And so the kids are over there trying to take their shoes
off. If she goes over, she starts yakking to him.
Like,
that is adorable. No fear. Like, I don't know you at all. But we can play. And we lose that
as adults, you know, we all get nervous when we walk up to another adult at church. You
know, like, yeah, just like, yeah, because they just go up and hi. Hi. You see the kids,
you know, hi, hi, you know,
there's so cute. Anyway, I was like, I would watch her is like, Lord, there's so many lessons
for me to learn. And I just loved her joy and her enthusiasm for people. Someone she
didn't even know, you know, she's just like, they must be great. And we can have fun. You
know, I'm just like, that's so sweet. It's like, Lord, I know you're trying to tell me
something. So anyway, but um, but yeah, so the thing is, like, again, just like her, you're
just being secure to yourself. And then just offering because that's really what you're
doing is you're offering to share yourself with someone else. But if you are solid in
you, and you value you, and you know, the Lord values you, then someone else's someone
else's thought about your value isn't going to matter as much.
If they don't, if they don't want to if they don't agree with your value or if they're just simply afraid because they don't feel like they have as much value to be able to contribute as you do.
It doesn't. It doesn't hurt as much didn't bother as much, because you know who you are, and you're just looking for someone else who is easy to be friends with.
And that's another thing. It's just like just find somebody who's easy.
Oh yes.
It's funny how we think about ourselves right, I like me, I'm like, I don't like drama. I'm very no.
And when you think about, I think that's a Texas thing honestly I think. So, I think a lot of the Texans are kind of laid back and easy going.
Yeah, you know, that's what I think but I don't know, maybe not everybody but, but, yeah, just, you know, that's why I have a lot of friends that are older.
Because they're chill they're relaxed they're like, you know, and so yeah.
Well that's why I prefer. I very often prefer the company of men to women is because they're low drama.
Yes, true, true.
It's just like, why are you women also mean to each other I'm like, I don't know, that's what I want to do.
Like that's why I don't go to women's library.
I knew I had I had I had gone to a conference with a friend, and it was a state.
And we were, we were getting dressed we were in the hotel, and this is one of the first times that I had done this with any Christian friend right and I thought, Oh my gosh, we're getting along with so great.
We're getting dressed right we're staying together in the hotel room, and, and we're getting dressed and she says, and then she saw me after I got dressed.
I was waiting for her right and she goes she looks at me she said, I don't have any competition do I.
And I said, and then I and I said I had to be nice because she had driven me there.
I had to be very careful with my words and I was like, what are you talking about I said, I don't we don't I don't compete at what are we talking about, but then she just, you know, and, and it's like, Hi, you know why it's competition for what.
That's what she said, she saw me she said to you. I hope I don't have any competition.
We're going to a conference guys.
It was a conference.
You know, people like that I don't understand. I just, I just don't understand I am so sorry someone told you that I am so very sorry, because, yeah, no, I was, I was very.
You think that people are going to be just because people are in the church and that's not negative either, you know, but, but, because we're all just, we're all, we all have our thing right we're so, and so, but, but yeah like you said you just, you know, just, you don't even think
And she was very pretty like she was. She's a beautiful, beautiful woman, you know that, you know, she's single she was single, too.
But, young, I mean, I mean, are very insecure, like, like, really, like I would not be competition for you, you know.
And so which is weird, but, but, again, that's another thing that if we're insecure and I've been there because I think women, we all struggle with certain insecurities, that if it doesn't matter what you look like or whatever when you're struggle
with that, you can't see it, you know, and you could be the most beautiful person on the earth you know and it's, and anybody would be a threat, you know, even somebody that, you know, whatever much older whatever it didn't matter didn't matter but.
And so that's why in the, but you know what I'm in the church I've met. And really, that's like one out of, I don't know how many because most people have been so good I mean you know, really and I don't know what why is it that we try to sometimes
sometimes comes to mind, the negative versus all the good, because really there's been a lot there's a lot of good people in relationships and, you know, but yeah, talking about, about drama, I was gonna talk about drama.
Yeah, definitely. That's what I want to avoid that's what I.
run from. But like you said, you know, it's we're going to have
to risk, you know, sometimes you've got to take Yeah, you
put your boundaries and and all of that, of course. But you
can't seclude yourself. And yeah, you know,
in a tie. Yeah. Yeah. And also one of the things by the way
about drama is you can choose to even if it's going on, you can
choose to stay out of it as in, it's all about how you you
neutralize it internally, instead of being caught up in
it. If you are bringing the kingdom of God into a
particular situation in his authority, and you're at rest,
it will neutralize the drama. And so it can't either either it
will neutral if people have the opportunity to allow themselves
to be affected by it, so it does neutralize it in them, or it
will at least keep you out of it. So it'll the chaos will be
going on around you, but it won't be. It won't be affecting
you. So they're there. Anyway, so just FYI, when you bring the
kingdom of God into a situation, it's amazing what, how powerful
that it can be what its power will do. Anyway. But yeah, I
just and also, people that are dramatic will typically if you
aren't dramatic, they typically won't be attracted to you. Or if
they will, it'll be for a little bit, but they can't
stick. Because you're not because they feed on drama. In
other words, they they have to have it. So if you're not
giving it to them, you're not supplying them. You're not
fueling them, and then they'll go to someone else.
Oh, gosh. Yeah.
Well, I was like, very, very helpful. I do.
Good.
Because that's, I can listen to this again, right?
Yeah, so I'm going to post it on the, again, when I can try to
get this uploaded, what, like I said, we're having a
uploaded, it'll be a group, you know how this is a group with
the rest intensive group on the platform, and you click on the
group, there will be another group that will just be your
name. And that will, you'll be the only one that can see it. So
like there are other people that have their own groups in there
that are transformation sessions, but you're the only
one that will be able to see it or have access to yours. And
that's where I'll house your transformation sessions.
Okay, awesome. Okay.
Again,
all right. Good. I hope it's been helpful.
Very much. Yes. Thank you so much.
You're welcome. Have a good night. I'll see you tomorrow.
All right. All right. That's right. Tomorrow. Come fast.
Bye. God bless.