Thank you.
Okay, I can't hear you.
I think you're on mute.
Yeah, you're on mute. There you go.
How are you doing?
We're doing good. I apologize. They just started running a wood saw, as soon as we started this, this call.
I know and I thought I'm going to do it from my phone, and then it was just it was just thinking and thinking and I was like,
No worries but sorry for the background noise I think it'll end after a minute it literally just started so I can hear it.
This is my husband Ed and this is Diana. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
Oh, how have you been good good went to church this morning.
We started 10.
So, yeah, bright and early. Yes. Yeah. Good, good.
Well, and so this is just, it's a bit different than a normal call, and you know because the information session is you know just about hey you know what areas are you wanting to shift into rest in or what was it that you haven't understood about the
about or just whatever. And this is just more about like well what's what's going on, you know, with you.
What, what are some things that you know you're wanting from the Lord that we can, we can pray about or kind of like help you walk through or send an agreement with it with you in or whatever.
Do you have anything to add to any of this is just the time for you and I don't know anything about you whatsoever.
It's kind of the way we, you know, I, I kind of prefer it.
Yeah.
I mean she talks about like her.
Well not students but her. Yeah.
You know from time to time but I've heard your name but that's kind of all I know, but yeah this time is really just set aside for you and I'm not really a part of the transformation sessions, so you know my background is a lot of kind of been on a
circuit, you know I did inner healing and physical healing stuff.
Then I, then I went through my stint in the prophetic for a while, which is probably my stronger the gifts and then, you know, then there was a season of deliverance, where I was traveling with a guy around, you know, and I've traveled all over.
So it's not like we have a preconceived idea, you know, maybe actually does most of the things I'm just here, I have something that I'll, I'll chime in. And so, sometimes people come in and they have things that they're going through or something a little
been putting his finger on things that even maybe either from earlier in their life or something that they all of a sudden, it's like man I thought I dealt with this stuff already.
And he's wanting to put those things to bed. Sometimes it's just a time of encouragement. But, um, so that's why I think she's just asking kind of where are you and how are you doing and, you know, what, how can assist today.
Yeah.
Well, I have just been on a journey of had told Ashley that I was raised in church, more or less, got saved at 11. So, my parents got saved and went to church and went to Christian school and all of that.
However, in church I met my ex husband, we were married 22 years.
And he was the quintessential bad boy. And I was the good girl, so to speak, but he attracted me because he was just so different.
And it was that same difference I was too immature and young to really know, you know, what it should look like I come from a dysfunctional home so even though my parents got saved.
They were like, they, they had a tough childhood so you know, they came with all these traumas and all these things, both of them.
And so they had a, it was a rough marriage for them. And then my dad passed away in 94.
And, and so, coming back after the divorce I got divorced in 2017 separated in 2015.
I just said it.
it. I had been through a lot, you know, imagine almost 30
years, you know, 20 some odd years and the marriage was he,
he was never delivered. He was never he had all these issues
that I had no idea. You know, I was so young and naive. I never
knew. Pornography was a thing I never knew. Like all this stuff
that I later found out he was struggling with adultery. And on
so that kind of affected me because we prayed and I prayed
and it seemed the more I prayed, the worst things got it just he
wasn't ready to change. And he wanted the marriage, but he just
didn't want to put the work in to change, you know, so that's
why I I just decided, you know, the divorce was better. And the
this the the the straw that really was that he had an affair
with my sister, his sister in law. They had like a fling. And
she was my she was we were close. So it was hard. And that
was like, Oh, it lasted about three months or so. But that's
what really and I sensed it. I sense something was wrong. And
when we were around her, I sensed it. And it's just
something I couldn't accept. It was because I mean, I was
married that long. Her and her husband were high school
sweethearts. And none of us really wanted to. You know, when
I brought it up to finally, I brought it up to my brother in
law, his brother. And I said, I don't know if I'm going crazy.
But this is what I'm thinking. And he told me no, you're not
crazy. I'm thinking the same thing. He was sensing the same
exact thing. So we we both confronted them. And although
they didn't admit to it, that the guilt was all over their
face and everything. And so and so prior to that, I had been
praying and asking God, you know, because I would confront
him and he would say no, no, no, no. So prior to that, I was
like, Lord, you know, you need to do something here. Because he
doesn't he denies it. And I, I need to be free. I need to for
this to come out, because I can't be in this life anymore.
And yep, it my brother in law had already, he's a computer
guy. So he had already tapped her phone and all that and
pulled over 1000 text messages between them in a month and a
half. So you can imagine, I mean, I had all the proof I had
everything. And but even though I had everything, and just, of
course, it's hard merit divorce is hard anyway. And so that all
that happened, and what was hard is that it wasn't just a
divorce. What was hard was that it pulled two families apart.
And my mother in law and my sister in law, we were very
close. So they all sided with me. And they were all like, Oh,
Diana, we're with you, you know, whatever you need, you know,
we're with you, you know, I had all their support. But my ex
husband, they completely shut him out. I mean, he was shunned.
He was, I mean, that was hard. And then, of course, my brother
in law. I mean, they were brothers and can imagine that. I
mean, he just never wanted to talk to him again, never wanted
to see him again. So my, my, my mother in law, which is just a
sweet lady, you know, who had three, three boys, she going
through all of this, it was very, very hard to families
torn apart, you know, we couldn't get to get we couldn't.
It's, it's just, it's just odd. I can't even explain it. And so
anyway, the coming here, after all that, all the betrayal and
trying to heal from that, it's been a long struggle. It's been
a long struggle. And people say, well, Diana, you should be
healed, you should be here, you should be there, you should be
there. And it's like, yeah, it's just been hard. It's been hard
to, to go through that. And my son to have a son, he's 18. So
he took it very hard. And of course, this is his father. So
he loves his father, and he's a good father. So having and I, my
lawyer, when I was getting a divorce, he said, Okay, you
know, you know, Diana,
throw the book at him, you know.
I mean, you have every right, you have every,
every, in other words, you have the upper hand,
basically, here.
You can do whatever you want.
And I heard the voice of God,
he said, be careful what you do.
He said, because whatever you do to him,
it's gonna affect your son indirectly.
Had never even thought of that.
But I said, and he, for some reason, he said,
don't ask him for any money, right?
Just don't ask him.
And I didn't know why, I didn't know what,
I just said, I'm gonna be obedient.
And my lawyer said, no, I'm not doing your paperwork,
I'm not doing it.
You need to have, you need to, you know,
he should give you like, per his salary,
you should be getting like 20% of his income.
It was a lot of money.
And God said, no, don't, don't accept,
don't, don't, just don't.
And then he said, okay.
He said, but the judge is going to ask you
why you're not requiring the 20%.
He said, and he might not even sign off on the divorce.
And I said, well, you know, it's a chance I have to take
because God said, no.
And little did I know later on
was that he had had a lawyer person just ready
to basically take Samuel away.
You know, had I, had I, I didn't find that out till later.
It was a lawyer friend that would have done him,
would have helped him out for free
and would have even lied about me just to,
you know, like there was gonna be,
God was trying to save me from what he knew could happen.
And so, and so I'm so glad that in that way,
I was just like, no.
And he's always supplied our needs
and we've never lacked anything.
Thank you, Jesus.
And so, but it's been a struggle on this end,
just trying to come be free.
We, God had me ask him to forgive.
God told me one day I woke up and he said,
I want you to ask him to forgive you.
And then I struggled with it.
And I said, no, I'm not doing that.
God, I'm not doing that.
He gave me dreams.
He gave me like three or four dreams.
I'm like, no, no, I can, I can talk to him.
I can be civil.
I can, I said, but don't ask me to do that
because God, he's the one, you know, he's the one.
Like, well, look at all he did.
And God said, no, no, you're like,
I want you to do this, right?
So I said, fine, but I'm not doing it in person.
I'm doing it over the phone.
So I called it and I just, it was very simple.
I just said, you know, I just, I'm a,
it was after our divorce.
And I said, I just want you to know that,
that whatever I did, you know,
I said, at any time I said, whatever I did, you know,
to hurt you, offend you, whatever I said,
just forgive me because I want to go on
and I want you to go on.
And, and, and so just forgive me.
I said, for anything that I have done to you.
And immediately he, he took like a deep breath
and he just started crying.
And I just, of course it was freeing for me,
but it was freeing for him too.
And I felt that, that he was, had so much guilt and shame
and that God wanted him to have a certain kind of freedom
in that area too, because we all make mistakes.
And, you know, God doesn't,
he doesn't say, oh, you've messed up, forget you.
You know?
I mean, if you did that, imagine.
And so we did that and that broke something off in us,
not where we had a relationship again,
but where we were able to talk.
We were able to just be, you know, about my son.
And there was no animosity.
And to this day, you know, he's, he, he's in the,
he was in the hospital with the stroke like two days ago.
And so we went to go see him at where he's staying at.
And I took my son and, you know, we just asked him,
you know, does he need anything?
You know, just try to be there.
And, and there's, there's no, nothing.
You know, God is, he's healed that part
where I don't feel hatred or nothing like that against him.
If anything, I have compassion because God loves him,
you know, and that's the one thing that God told me,
even about my sister-in-law,
I saw her at a Christian concert and God said, I love her.
He told me.
And it changed my perspective because I thought.
You know, no matter what we do, you know, we can't change his love for us.
And, and so it has totally and so although God hasn't healed that family, my mother-in-law
passed away, but she was able to see that all three of them together.
They were there with her for her, and she before she passed, she was able to see that.
She was a praying woman.
So that was an answer prayer for her to see all her kids again together, her boys.
So God is restoring them, you know, maybe not to what it was, but he's still restoring
them.
And so that's a, that's also a blessing, but I've been asking God to, to make me whole,
to make me just, I don't know, just free from all, everything that I've carried and,
and now come to find out that there's just so much that he has been revealing about in
the, in this intensive that we had, that I was carrying, that I didn't realize things
that are coming to the surface, you know, even maybe generational trauma for my mom
and my dad, which they've had just, they really had tough, tough, you know, just, you
know, my dad, my dad was from that era where he was taken to the, it would be as a kid,
he was taken to hard labor, to the labor fields, like up north, you know, and they come from
that generation where they've had a hard, hard life, both of them.
So it's been, it's been a lot that God has been highlighting and saying, you know, you
need to be even free from that in your line, you know, generational line.
So yeah, there's a lot, there's a lot, there's a lot there.
Yeah.
Definitely.
Yeah.
Well, thanks for letting us know about all of that.
I didn't know about any of them.
Well, I mean, I knew about a few things, but not, not the majority of it, at least not
the details in the background and anything.
Oh, we can hear you, but your, your video seems to have frozen in a very odd light.
Looks like a painted, it looks like a picture, like a painting or a drawing, a charcoal drawing.
Yeah.
Can you hear me?
Yeah, I can hear you.
Can you hear me?
Okay.
There we go.
Okay.
Yeah.
It froze for a minute, but it didn't even freeze like the picture.
It changed the picture.
So anyway, but you're back.
So I don't know all of that.
It's happened before when we've been on like a fireside chat and you've been talking, it
it's only happened once or twice where it would turn to that really odd looking thing.
And I've never seen that before.
So, but I didn't ever want to interrupt your story.
So I did never like ask you about it, but anyway, so thank you for sharing all of that
with us.
You know what it is that you've been talking about.
I didn't plan on sharing.
I didn't plan on, I don't share that every, every, I mean, I hardly ever share it because
I just.
Oh yeah.
Well, that's why these, that's one of the reasons why we do these and we, this is only
the second time that we've offered this is we offered it the past rest intensive and
we noticed that it was so impactful.
And the reason that I offered it with actually my husband offered to do that for, you know,
the people in my rest intensive last time.
And of course this is all more of even his wheelhouse and experience than mine.
And so we noticed the impact that it was having on people.
So we thought, oh, we'll, we'll offer it this time as well, because what happens is when
we're creating this space, when we're coming into an agreement to, to create this space
to welcome someone into basically the heart and the father heart and the, and the presence
of, and the healing of God, then all of a sudden he starts doing things.
So all we had to do was ask a question and things that I, you've never told me in all
of the times we've been together, all of a sudden comes out, you know, because the Lord
is the one who, when we're just preparing the space for it, he's like, he just needs
to be given permission to move.
And so all that we're doing here in creating a session like this, and then you agreeing
to come on is the, is simply the fact that we're all giving God permission to move.
And so he just, he's the one who brings all this stuff to light.
And as Ed always talks about, we don't have to do any work to heal ourselves.
Remember that in the rest intensive, we always talk about the fact that everything's that
rest.
So even all of the things that we talk about, like making a choice, you know, well, you
know, God has given us everything and we need to receive it.
The receiving is not work and effort we're needing to do.
It's simply stopping doing all the things that we think that we have to do.
to, to try to earn it.
It's the same thing with this.
It's healing as a gift from the Lord healing, meaning like internal healing of wounds, memories
and all of that is all something God's going to do.
All we do is we stop the resistance.
We stop resisting the healing.
We stop, we stop not allowing ourselves to be emotionally vulnerable to the Lord so that
he can finally, he can finally move.
So that's, that's what we're, we provide this time for.
It's not that we're bringing all of this like knowledge and things to say and things to
teach or anything during this time, it's like, okay, God, we're making an available space
for you to move.
And then he's the one who does all of the healing work.
So there's nothing that you or us need to do during this time.
We would just, whatever you want to deal with Lord, would you please bring it up?
So anyway, it's different for everyone.
Yeah.
I don't know how much, I don't know your background at all or what I'm trying to decide which
way I want to go here.
What your background is.
And so your walk and like going through this stuff with your husband and all the complexities
there, how much ministry you've received or if you have any grid for what inner healing
is or whatever, let me, you, what, what,
Yes.
Well, the, the church that I was going to yeah, I would, I would just arrive there and
I would just be crying and crying.
And the pastor said, you know, God is, it's just started healing you, you know?
And for months I would just go in there and just cry and cry.
So he has started the process of, of the inner healing and deliverance.
And even during the, the intensive with Ashley, he was bringing things up that, that were
in my heart that he was showing me, Holy spirit that, that I needed to deal with,
you know?
And so, and, and so that's kind of the journey that I've been on.
Yeah.
Definitely.
And it just, it seems like it's been like layer by layer, like it's been a little here
and a little hair.
It's, I guess, thank God that he doesn't do everything at once.
Right.
And it's, so it's been six years since the divorce and eight years since the separation.
So it's been that long that you've been going through this healing process with the Lord.
Yeah.
Now, this is a strange question, but a lot of ladies will, men don't get this, but a
lot of ladies will, they'll either immediately yell at, Oh, yep.
Or no.
You know?
Do you feel that you still have like an attachment with your ex that you can't seem to get out
from underneath?
Do you feel like you still have, like you're, there's part of you that's still running around
out there or walking around with him and that you're not whole in that way, that somehow
you're still can feel him and you're connected in a way for men.
They're not wired this way.
They don't understand what I'm talking about, but there's like a tie between you.
Yeah.
I could be.
It was a long time.
So, I mean, I prayed for like I've had prayer for what do you call soul ties, you know,
broken those off and have prayed.
And I've done a lot of disconnect, you know, in the natural where, you know, he used to
just text me and I said, no, you know, I wouldn't answer the text because I didn't want to,
you know, if it wasn't about my son, I didn't want to keep going.
So, we have no communication other than my son and he is actually has a girlfriend now.
And so, yeah, everything's good.
I've met her at a funeral and introduced myself and I have no animosity or no anything.
I wish him well.
And so, but I don't know if spiritually there's something still there.
I mean, not sure, but as far as, but generally you feel like, like, I know it sounds weird
to talk like this, but it's the same thing of like, when we talk about like, oh, go to
the, go to the little, little, the little girl in you.
That's still scared.
That's still afraid back when she was five, something happened, you know, you're talking
to him.
They're just, they're what I use.
I refer to as like, like tools to kind of help us grasp what we're trying to do and
actually do the thing.
It's like, oh, well, if I picture myself like this, then I can, I can like.
walk myself through this. Okay. Here. So you're feeling like all
of the various parts of you are all with you, you feel you feel
whole, you feel like you get to own all parts of yourself and
that they're with you, not something out there. That's like
being not controlled, but being being affected outside of
control. You don't feel that anymore.
I don't feel that I hope not. I don't feel that no years ago, I
would have dreams because you know, I take God speaks to me in
dreams, and he would give me dreams where I was with him.
Like, at least three dreams he gave me where we were together,
like on rides in a car. And we were always together in Benin,
they were always dark. So after that, I started getting prayer
for soul ties, because I thought, I think God's trying to
tell me that somehow I'm connected to be spiritually
still. And so it was just the way the Holy Spirit was trying
to tell me, you know, that I was still with him in, you know,
certain things. So, but yeah, yeah.
All right. And so I don't want to waste your time by having you
go through. That's the tricky thing when you when you're
talking to people that are either in the process or been
through some healing process already.
Doctor, you know, that doesn't know anything about you have to
answer the same questions all over again, and go through the
same thing over again. And I don't want, you know, I don't
want you to have to do that.
Whatever you feel from the Lord, that's okay. I don't mind doing
anything.
I get it. Um, now, I'm assuming, as part of your process, you've
done a lot of forgiveness work.
Well, I like I like ashes, I've chosen to forgive, I've, I've
made the choice, I repeatedly told the Lord, you know, to give
me the grace to forgive. So I have, I just don't know if that
has fully sure, you know, you know, I'm not sure, but I have
chosen and I told the Lord to help me to forgive. And so
sure. Yeah. So now I'm a visual person. And, you know, in
general, and so I'm going to
for my own life, and then see if you can, if this will make sense
to you. And so I understood forgiveness, and, and to forgive
people. And I had tools that I learned from, you know, my times
in different ministries and stuff. But it's like, I'm kind
But it's like, I'm kind of thick headed, you know, like I, you
know, even when I was in Guatemala for a while, they used
to call me cabeza de calabaza, you know, like, pumpkin head,
because I was more more durable, you know, I was very thick
headed. And, and so I was hearing this term in my head,
you know, safe harbor, safe harbor, safe harbor, safe, like,
okay, and I and I saw what looked like a cove that was both
protected from the elements and protected from, from site. And
one of my favorite, I love the Caribbean of any place in the
Caribbean, I just, I love it. And of course, there were lots
of pirates and pirating that went on along those places. And
so I saw this harbor, and I was thinking about those pirate
ships and, and that they would have to find places like this
to, to be safe to go and safe harbor. And the Lord said, Ed,
what are you harboring? What are you harboring in your heart?
That I realized that this cove, this harbor was things that were
was my heart. And what things had I let in? And what I was I
harboring there. And there was something in the tone of his
voice that I kind of, you know, how God speaks to you sometimes
and there's a tone to his voice that makes you a little
uncomfortable. It's not bad, but you know, he's after something,
you know, and, and at some point, during as I would ponder
upon this, he showed me a boat, and the boat had someone's name
on it. And, and it was somebody that had done something to me.
And there were all of these anchors, lots of these chains
coming off of this boat. And, and as I looked at the boat, I
realized that on those chains were written all the things that
that person had done to me. And the Lord said, Ed,
Trying to, you know, forgiving someone without forgiving what they've done to you is like telling this boat to sail out of the harbor.
Right. And so, it, it gave me a different perspective on what I would call the rubber band forgiveness, you know, there are those people that we like.
He's like, Lord, I forgive my father.
I forgive my father. I forgive my father. I forgive my father, and it keeps now, if you're seeing them every day and he's stepping on your toes every day that's a different story that's, that's a process that's just, that's just hard.
Right. But this is like those things where there are people in our lives that we people say we need to forgive them and they're like I had forgiven them I've forgiven them 100 times.
Right. But there's a place in the, in the presence of God and in, in the presence of the Holy Spirit, where, when you go through this process and sometimes I would look at people, and I would see like rocks on their hearts.
And sometimes those rocks were burdens they were carrying that they shouldn't be carrying.
But oftentimes too they were those things that are wedged into our heart that the Lord wants to take from us.
Okay.
So, so now this is the question I have to now that I've used all of those words to get to this place.
In your place of forgiveness is then, is that how it has worked for you, or has it been that you're continuing to forgive your husband the boat over and over and over again, because I have a feeling that
we'll move on. But I have, there's probably some things your husband.
Maybe your family.
You know that that maybe the Lord wants to take from you today.
Unrelated to this, but how has your time of forgiveness with God worked, has it been the rubber banding kind of I'm forgiving this person the whole, but it seems to not be able to, to, it just doesn't seem to sit.
Or has it been like, Oh no, I have forgiven every single little pebble of everything I've ever thought of in my entire life, 100 times.
I don't, I don't think I've, you know, I've chosen to forgive I've said it I've asked God to help me.
I've asked some people to forgive me, but I, I don't know if I fully have forgiven, I don't know that there's anything still in my heart that I need to release or let go.
Yeah. So I want to tell you that I don't think I believe this is the Lord. Okay.
I want to tell you that you've done an amazing job that you're like a champion that you, the Lord is very, very, very proud of you, and that you've carried things that seem like an insurmountable weight for a very long time with very little thanks.
And it's the things.
You know, as James used to say is a prophet that prophets are known on earth for what they say prophets in heaven are known for what they don't say, you know, there's an aspect of things that make you known in earth.
But don't make you famous in heaven and there are things that nobody will know about an earth that make you famous in heaven.
And a lot of things that you've done at the consternation even other people and people will never know about that, that heaven knows all about.
So you've done an amazing job, and you've healed a tremendous amount.
And I just feel like this is another layer of the onion, you know, I call it the peeling the onion of it.
This is, this is another layer of you, not that you haven't done all these things. I just feel like you're in a place of maturity and position now for another layer to come off to be dealt with.
And remember that this is all about your freedom, not that you, you've done something wrong and not having forgiven more than you already have.
This is all about just like, okay, child, you know, I'm, this is all about God focused on you. He wants you to be free not, hey, you haven't done a good enough job for giving to as much as you're supposed to, you know, this is all about your freedom.
So, would you, would you be open to, to walking through a little bit of this.
with us okay all right um now if you were here in front of me i i know this sounds very silly okay
but what i would have you do is um if you are you right-handed or left-handed right-handed
all right so i would i would normally make people take a look i'm going to pray for you but
okay
and then with their right hand i would have them go and it's easiest sometimes just to pick
a person so right now for ease of our conversation we'll pick your husband for instance right
but it may not stop there the lord may bring other people uh into the situation and i may
feel prompted it's some time to say hey what about frank i don't know who frank i'm just
making a name okay and and then what i want you to do is like lord i forgive what's your
ex-husband's name adrian adrian all right lord i forgive adrian for uh you know cussing at me i
feel i forgive adrian for and be as specific as you can and if there's something that that you
want that comes up but you don't feel comfortable saying out loud you just say lord i forgive and
you just silently put it in your little cup this is your little cup taking rocks out of your heart
putting them in your little cup okay the lord will know what that is right and when it's all
done the second peter says we cast all our cares and concerns upon the lord we're going to offer
all these things up to the lord right and i'm going to pray and i'm going to pray for you
um and i may um just as kind of like a sealant on this go through a very quick um soul tie
you know breaking again um just to because you one thing stuck out to me that you said was that
you had uh that you wanted to be whole um and i know that can mean a lot of things to people that
can mean just healed it can be a lot of things but i just feel like there's an aspect of wholeness
and a lifting of weight it's like if it looks like um sometimes i just see it looks like you're waiting
just carrying weight around and you've gotten used to carrying it but the lord doesn't want
you to carry it anymore you know and i think that part of your time with ashley actually
is learning to surrender more of the weight and responsibility of things into its rightful place
in god uh so that you are unencumbered to freely be able to be who you are and to do and respond to
the things that god has and while i'm at it before we got on and i again i don't know you from adam
so if this doesn't fit you then you know just toss it okay but i kept seeing and hearing
uh diamond diamond studded diamond diamond diamond and and it it was like there had been a diamond
hewn from the earth that through this through these years have been the many many facets of
this diamond have been chiseled and ground away and it's like that
and the true shining the true um um i'm trying to through brilliance uh there's even these there's
even codes for diamonds that have a certain um level of clarity and and sparkle to them
that is getting ready to be done so that the major painful process for lack of better term
has already been passed and that you're that diamond and then you're in a time of being
polished that the obscurity that has been placed over your life and the roughness of it and even
the early stages in which it was pulled from uh has led to like almost like a devaluation
and not being able to be seen so it wouldn't be surprised to me if you were not if you were if
you felt overlooked that you felt shrouded and not seen that the true brilliance or the word even
beauty or beautiful probably maybe isn't this thing that you're most comfortable with but i
feel like the lord is getting ready to write that over you like a banner in this season that you're
in a place of polish not in a place of filing and chiseling and and that that hard your place of
refinement i guess would be
better place to put it.
And then as I kept looking at the D and again, I don't really know how this fits
you and some of what I'm going to say is going to sound a little strange, maybe
depending on where you are spiritually.
But I kept, I was hearing the word Deborah and Deborah was a judge
and a fierce woman of the Bible.
And so not only was she a judge to know what was right and wrong, but she was a
leader and leader in a time and a place where being a woman as a leader was not
normal.
And not only that, there were some crazy things about Deborah, including the, the
stars themselves battled on her behalf.
The very stars themselves battled alongside or on behalf of Deborah.
She had had so much favor and such position in heaven that even creation itself armed
allied itself with her to submit and fight on her behalf.
So I feel that there is a place of strength and judge, not too late staying in judgment
of other people, but a place of discerning right and wrong, but a place of
leadership that may be foreign for someone to say that to you, but a place of
leadership in the eyes of men, because of the position given to you by God, that it's
about to come upon your life.
And that there is a place I believe where even creation is going to respond and
rejoice to that.
If I knew you a little better, I would say that there's almost a place of you in
creation that is already fixed in your heart is something that's dear and important to
you.
And the creation is important to God because it says he's not coming to serve.
He's not coming back to save man.
He's coming back to save creation, all of it.
And I've always myself been fascinated by the mystics of old that had this like, like
St.
Francis of Assisi that was so united with God.
He would preach to the trees and to the animals and they would come to him to hear
and he could communicate with animals.
And I was like, what, like, that's like something inside my heart was just leaping.
And I feel that there is some type of connection, a godly connection between you
and his creation.
And I believe that similar to Deborah as a character, that there is a place of who you
are, how you're known in heaven.
This is like the third time I've said this, but kind of like as a Gideon moment where
Gideon was addressed by Gabriel to reveal who he, who he is, how he's seen in heaven
that so belied how he was seen on earth.
And the Gideon just refused to believe it.
Well, I feel like in this season, the revealing of heaven, of who you are and your
identity first and foremost to you is coming.
And then that alignment then is going to be released for other people to see you.
And I'm going to say this thing to you as a truism.
Do not use your family as your barometer for your change.
The Lord himself said a prophet is not without honor, except that at home, their
family and their hometown.
When he went back to the, he, this is the son of God went back to Nazareth and he was
preaching and teaching, he'd had all the signs, wonders, and miracles.
He was all, he was fully, you know, lathered in the Holy spirit.
And they were like, wait a minute.
Isn't this that, isn't that Joseph's son, that Carpenter's kid?
Like, why should we listen to this guy?
Yeah.
So I feel like also part of your season is God bringing in new people to your life.
That don't have that history.
And as a, as I learned from a man many, many years ago, who debatable whether he
was a Christian or not, but he had like a guru and, and it was like, he said, son,
if you ever want to find out you, if you've mastered your life, go home and
spend two weeks with your family.
Right.
The longer people have known you, the more preconceived an idea they have of who you
are, and there's a pressure to conform to that identity.
Right.
But there's a new season coming for you.
The things are not the way that they've always been.
And I believe a renewing of dreams, uh, things that you have given up, things
that you've sacrificed and things that you've even forgotten about that God
has not forgotten about, and I mark my words in the next.
two weeks, two months, the Lord is going to start to bring up things that you have totally forgotten about,
that you never even remembered that you wanted or that you asked for, but he has not forgotten.
Right? And that your name in heaven, how you're known, like Graham Cook has a thing about inheritance scriptures and identity in heaven.
And it's like you have a different actual name in heaven than you do here on earth.
And it's not like you're renamed, that your name has no bearing, but there's a heavenly identity
and that's your true identity. And I feel like this season is all about getting rid of the things
from the past season to be able to take things into the new season. As a matter of fact, there's
the last thing I'm going to say about this, otherwise we'll never get to the other stuff,
is the Jewish people have a way of handling the new year every year. And this isn't calendar
new year, this is their new year, but it doesn't really matter. The point is that they go through
intentionally to look through their past year to evaluate it. And they intentionally decide
what they're going to take into the new year and what they're going to leave behind.
Right? Because the, you're taking things into the new year that aren't supposed to be a part
of the new year. It's taking up space that otherwise would be making room for the things
that God wants to bring into your life. And I feel like in a similar sense, that's where you are.
And that the sky's the limit. Don't look to the lack or don't look at, I'm saying this to myself,
Ashley's about to laugh, but don't look at your age as a limiting factor of what it is that you
can do or better yet what God can do in this season and stage of your life. And as to quote
Graham again, the more you become captivated by the majesty, the majestic, how large God is,
the easier it is to walk into that place in life. And then also is the united place where you stand,
that the more you learn about God, the more you can learn about yourself,
the bigger you see God, the more easily it is to see a bigger version of you.
And that that unity between the two of you is about to come into a whole new fresh place.
Does any of that make sense? Yes. Thank you. Thank you so much. That's a encouraging word.
Yeah. Okay. Okay. How much time do we have here? Yeah. All right. Thanks. So what time do we start?
What time do we start? Okay. One 30. All right. Okay. As I'm listening to Saul's in the background
here. So simply we're just going to run through this, just a simple forgiveness exercise and
don't feel pressured to get it all because you can always do this on your own. Okay. Okay. And
again, I just, just for the simplistic sake and, and don't be surprised if you feel an actual weight
coming into your hands as you do this. Okay. And I think of them as rocks, right? These are rocks
in your heart and make a little cup with your left hand. I'm going to pray quickly. And then,
you know, I may have be prompted with a suggestion or something, but by and large,
this is just you and the Lord, you and the Holy spirit walking through stuff, let him lead you
and just, uh, just go where he takes you and trust, uh, that this isn't your own effort.
This is not you trying through your own willpower to make it happen. This is the
Lord himself coming to empower, to give you the grace to set these things done. Okay. Okay. All
right. So Lord, I just pray for my beautiful sister, Lord. And we thank you for the, um,
institution of marriage, but the, the place of, of, uh, of what you hold of marriage, even
in the mystery of our own lives to be living in union with you, that there was a, uh, a beautiful
things to come just like her son out of the marriage, uh, with her husband. Uh, we thank you
for the family of origin that you've given us though, Lord, no matter how good their parents
and our ancestors were and how much gold there is, there's just stuff that they fell short.
And even in our own lives. So, uh, Holy spirit, I ask your presence to come into that room right now.
would lead and guide this exercise,
that you would be glorified.
We bless her ex-husband and we bless her family.
We bless her mother and father, her son, her sister-in-law,
brother-in-law, mother-in-law.
We bless her.
We bless her generations.
We bless her home, Lord.
And this isn't about being critical or about judgment.
This is about her freedom and removing any barriers
that could stand between her and you
and that she can walk into the newness and fullness of life
in Jesus' name.
So whenever you're ready, just reach in and grab a rock
and say, Lord, I forgive.
And it's easier sometimes to start with one person
and just say, and then I have four,
and then you name whatever it is.
And you just keep going until the rocks aren't there.
Then don't be surprised if he changes
the channel to another person.
OK.
I forgive.
I forgive, Adrian, Lord.
For?
I forgive.
Yes Lord.
I try.
Thank you, Lord.
I try.
Thank you, Lord.
I forgive.
Thank you, Lord.
I forgive.
Diana, thank you.
You're doing a great job.
But what I would encourage you to do
is to say, I forgive Adrian for pornography.
I forgive Adrian for his first affair.
I forgive Adrian for lying to me.
I forgive the specific actual events and things that he did,
those chains that are grinding, that are holding him to you.
I forgive Adrian for the adultery.
I forgive Adrian for the pornography.
I forgive Adrian for the betrayal and disloyalty.
I forgive him, Lord, for the lying.
I forgive him for the deception.
I forgive Lizzie, God, my sister-in-law.
I forgive her for the betrayal.
I forgive her, God, for the lying, for the deception,
for the adultery.
I do you a favor.
I ask that you repeat what David was saying.
I forgive you for your betrayal.
I forgive you for the adultery.
I forgive you for being a imbecile.
I forgive you for Veronica.
I forgive you.
I appreciate you.
I forgive you for your disloyalty.
I forgive you for the seduction.
I forgive you for being an idol.
I forgive you.
Father, I forgive, with all my heart.
About yourself.
The hardest one.
I forgive myself.
For what?
It's OK.
It's the hardest one.
Hey.
You.
Thank you.
Maybe you should have known better.
Maybe you didn't listen to your own voice.
Yes.
I forgive myself because I should have.
Should have known better.
Boy.
Forgive myself for being rebellious.
I should have known better.
Yeah.
It's like, for lack of a better term, it's like looking at the 20 year old.
Who didn't know anything.
That you're holding responsible for.
As.
As a mature adult.
You know, what would you say to that 20 year old.
To let her go to lead to free her.
From the judgments of the mistakes that she made.
Does that make sense?
I didn't know.
She didn't know.
She needs you to forgive her.
Because she didn't.
So.
Yep.
No, I'm just throwing things out. You don't have to say any of these things, but.
Yeah.
I've experienced that moms.
Feel responsible for anything that hurts their children.
And even if it's not their fault.
Like this divorce.
Sometimes they'll hold themselves responsible for their hurt.
Of the divorce and all the things that came from it.
That affected.
Their children.
So.
You're a good mom.
Doing the best you can.
And the collateral damage isn't your responsibility.
It's not your fault.
Yeah.
All the false burdens.
All the things that you're carrying.
Yeah.
And if you know what some of those are, just give them to the Lord now.
I could have done more.
Couldn't do better.
I don't think that.
To save it.
Yep.
So, um, some other things that I had thought of that are things that we don't think about
forgiving people for, whether this be about your, uh, your husband or sister-in-law, you,
someone else would be, um, uh, and this is something that Ed talks a lot about.
It was like the two different types of traumas, the things that people did versus that you,
that God intended for you to receive from them that they didn't give.
And so maybe, especially speaking, you know, specifically about, um, Adrian is your husband,
not having given you things that you were supposed to receive as his wife.
So ways that he was loved, that he was supposed to have given you or trust that he was supposed
to have given you or ways in which you just felt like, because of the lack of receiving things,
that there's something in your soul and in your spirit that knows that God intended you to receive
from him because you lacked getting them. You thought that's all that you deserved.
And so to forgive him as not, you know, having compassion, it's like having compassion for the
20 year old you that didn't know it's like forgiving him for not giving you something
that maybe he couldn't because he didn't know he wasn't healed enough or he just flat out refused
to. So regardless of the reason, whether or not, you know, someone would justify it. The point is
God intended something different from you, but we unintentionally hold that against someone.
And that can sometimes be a quiet trauma that we've, that we haven't forgiven that we don't
know is there. So basically we'll rationalize. This person was broken. They mean to,
but the reality is there, the wound was still there. They still hurt you.
So it's kind of like forgiving your husband for lack of a better term of being a broken man.
Right. He may have not been able to, you may know that you may have known that he did the best he
could, but that doesn't matter. The wounds are still there. This is just dealing with your soul
before God to let these things go because the damage was still there. And what made me think
of this is when you had talked about the fact that all this work you've done to restore a
relationship between you and your husband, you're like, Oh, this is where we are now.
And things are good. But when, but before you got to that part, when you were talking about the story,
you cried and I was like, you were still wounded because it hurt that you, that was done to you.
In other words, there's something in us that knows, Lord, was that all that I deserve?
That hurts Lord, you know, because in other words, we're still taking it as this must mean
something about me. And so to start releasing those things as if the things that you should
have got that should have been done to you as if those were, you deserved those or the things that
didn't happen is if you deserved the fact that they didn't happen. So forgiving him, all of
those things might be, it's kind of like sleeper trauma that we don't realize is there. Okay.
So let's kind of step back into our little Holy Spirit bubble there and see out of the
things that Ashley is bringing up, what, what you can release to the Lord today.
God, I forgive Adrian because he couldn't love me. I forgive Adrian because he couldn't
be the husband that I wanted him to be.
But I forgive him for not loving me enough, for not listening to me, for not being the husband
that I wanted him to be. I forgive him, Lord, for not being the person that he was capable of being.
He wasn't capable of being, but I release him and I forgive him.
Yeah. Thank you, Lord.
All right. I think that's a good place to kind of segue into the next stage. So
I just want you to take that cup with all of those rocks and I want you to lift it up to the Lord.
And so don't you turn your hand over and wipe it away. And I'm going to pray, Lord, just,
Lord, it says in 2 Peter that we cast all of our cares and concerns upon you.
So we offer all these things. Now turn your hand over and wipe it away, Lord,
that you would take these things and wipe clean.
that, Lord, You would cleanse her emotions, that You would release her from all these places.
And if there's any place that, Lord, that she has opened and maybe didn't illuminate further,
that, Lord, the grace of God to cover, that, Lord, that she has forgiven.
And we release Adrienne.
We release the sister-in-law.
We release the family, Lord.
And as a friend of mine says, Lord, we forgive them.
You forgive them.
We release them.
So we release Adrienne, the sister-in-law, any of the other people that he may have done these things, you know, with in the past, God.
And, Lord, that You would wash her clean, the blood of Jesus and the living waters to flow over her hands in Jesus name.
So I'm just going to move into like a friend of mine, the way he breaks soul ties, which is probably maybe a little different than you're used to.
And you can just kind of repeat after me.
And you say, Lord, I bring you Adrienne.
Lord, I bring you Adrienne.
And I thank you for our time together.
And he was my husband.
He was my husband.
And we were united as one before you.
We were united as one before you.
And, Lord, now that we are divorced.
Lord, now that we're divorced.
It is no longer healthy for me to be connected to him in this way anymore.
No longer healthy for me to be connected in this way anymore.
Lord, I do not want to be connected with him that way anymore.
Lord, I don't want to be connected with him anymore in that way.
And in Jesus name.
I break the energetic soul tie.
I break the what soul tie?
Energetic soul tie.
Energetic.
I break the energetic soul tie.
Between Adrienne and myself.
Between any residual contact or connection with whatever your sister-in-law's name is.
Between any residual contact between Lizzie and others.
Okay.
And in Jesus name I say.
Adrienne.
I don't want to be connected to you that way anymore.
And I command you to leave in Jesus name.
And I would say the same thing for, you said it was Lizzie?
And Lizzie.
Lizzie, I say I don't want to be connected to you either.
And I command you to leave also.
In Jesus name.
All right.
Now I'm going to pray.
Father, we thank you for marriage.
We thank you, Lord, for the union of this, of these two.
But Lord, that season is over.
In any way that except for the connection with her son, I come.
And in Jesus name I break the power of the energetic soul tie
between her and her ex-husband.
And today I say, Adrienne, in every way that you are connected
in any possible way with Diana, that Lord, I command every place,
every piece of him to go back to where it came from,
dipped in the blood of Jesus, so that he may be whole.
And I command any place of Lizzie that has been attached to her,
I command every place, because the two of you were one,
I command every place of her to leave also,
to go back to where she came from, that she may be whole.
So I also, Lord, say I call all parts of Diana back.
Every place that you would release your angels for every place,
her heart, any part of her soul has been connected to anyone,
any person, place or thing, that Lord,
that has led her feeling scattered or not whole.
We call all parts of her back in Jesus holy name,
dipped in the blood of Jesus, and we call her into wholeness today.
We call her into wholeness today.
And Lord, I also, Lord, your word says that adultery hurts.
It is like a spear.
through the liver. So today, Lord, I break the power of the
adultery. I break the power of the adultery, Lord, that is set
over her life. I bless, Lord, her liver. I bless her
autoimmune system, including her thyroid. I bless her kidneys. I
bless all of her female organs, Lord God. I dedicate these
places to you, oh Lord God. I bless her eyes, Lord, her ears,
her mouth, her stomach, Lord God, her intestinal tract, Lord,
even Lord, I don't know, her right leg and all the way up and
down that right leg. I bless and dedicate all these places to
you, Lord. And I command every place where the spirit of
adultery has come upon her and every afflicting spirit. I break
the power of those things. I command them to release her
today, including whatever sentence of death somehow that
has been following her around in her entire life, that that
assignment be broken today in Jesus name. Lord, I break the
power of any hopelessness and any place, Lord, of death
wishes, Lord, where it's not that you want to die or kill
yourself, but where life has become hopeless, Lord. And I
break that assignment or the agreement in any way within her
body that has caused her autoimmune system to go a
little haywire. I bless her immune system, Lord, and I
commanded to come into alignment today with the way that you
intended it. And in Jesus name, Lord, you came and you had a
simple message that the kingdom of God was at hand. And there
was a demonstration. And I say to you and your body today,
Diane, that the kingdom of God is at hand, and it is breaking
forth into your life. And I speak to your body right now.
And I say, receive the inbreaking kingdom of Jesus
Christ. Now, Father, there's the anointing. Father, release the
healing power into her body. Release the power over the
fogginess of the mind. Release your power over her thyroid,
Lord, over internal organs, Lord, and wash her from head to
toe from all the afflictions that have come against her and
all of the collateral damage that has come into her body.
And Lord, we break the power today of every agreement that's
ever been made with death and anything else, even that has
come through the family line that, Lord, we placed the cross
of Jesus Christ between her and the iniquity of her
forefathers. We release the blood of Jesus over her and her
generations all the way back to Adam. And we release it all the
way forward. And we say that there will be no more. It will
not go forward. And we put the cross of Jesus Christ between
her and the iniquity of our ancestors. And we break the
power of those things. And we ask that you release the healing
power today, including the things that have been held up
that are her inheritance, her son's inheritance, that would
been held up, including finances and resources that have been
stolen because of the decisions and the collateral damage of the
iniquity of her ancestors. Now, Lord, let the environment or
home shift to one of unparalleled peace. We declare
that that is a place of encounter. That is a place,
Lord, that is good, as Jacob said, that this can this is the
ascending and descending of angels, that this can be none
other than the house of the Lord, the Lord, not only to be
aware of darkness, but to be more aware of your presence, to
be able to see the angels ascending and descending in her
very own home, that it is an oasis, a place of healing, a
place of peace, a place of presence, that Lord will spill
out to her neighbors, to the street across that when people
walk by that there is something different, and that no dark
thing may enter. And Lord, I bless her bed. Her bed posted to
be anointed right now in your name, Jesus, and that any
darkness that has afflicted her at night, any terrors of the
night, even from the time when she was a child, we break the
patterns of that for her and her son, that they will no longer
the dreams, the nighttime is the time of encounter, and that
Lord, that there be unparalleled encounters with you in the
nighttime hours as she sleeps, where she would be able to wake
and say, I don't know if in the spirit or in the flesh, I went,
I do not know that you would take her to and fro throughout
the earth and throughout the heavens, and you would show her
the mysteries that you've hidden up for her. Lord, we bless you,
Lord, we ask you to be glorified this day, Lord God, we pray that
every single thing that she's touched, and has been spoken
today that you would uncover, that you would shine your light and bring things to the surface.
And we bless those that have cursed us. We release love over her ex-husband, her family,
the brokenness in this family. And the brokenness of this family is not her responsibility for where,
how it ended up or it's fixing. That family was yours from the beginning. It is one you put
together and the healing of that family is your responsibility, Lord. And we sit upon you.
We bless you, Lord. And I bless her in Jesus' holy name.
Wow. I feel a thousand pounds lighter.
I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of me.
Thank you very much. You're welcome. It's just a big thing. And I don't mean there's so much
more to do. It's just the beginning of the real effects of the freedom
that's coming into your life. There's a shift coming. It's already begun and it starts with you.
You want your son's life to change? Your life changes first. You want your husband and
everybody else? Don't look at them. But the point is you're worth it and God's going to begin in you
and it's going to be released from you as a natural outcropping. You're going to bring hope
to many, many people. You're going to be a part of, you're going to be a restorer of the breach.
You're going to restore a whole lot of things, including furniture for whatever reason. And I
feel that you're going to restore a lot of things, including people. And that, but it's going to
begin with you. That your restoration is in full swing and some of it has been under works for a
long time and it's just now getting to the place that can be seen. My old boss, who was a pastor
for a long time, left the ministry and then came back, was in construction for a while and he said
that 80% of the work happened where you couldn't see anything being done. It was the moving of the
earth. It was the plowing and leveling of the ground. It was the digging of the place for the
foundation that only 20% of the building process was actually visible to the eye.
Well, 80% of the process that has already happened in where you are right now is because of your
diligence of the things that you've done before the Lord. And now is the time for it to be seen.
It's like spring is coming and now you can see the flowers bloom. Now you can see the harvest
starting to grow. So the fields of promise are opening up for you and you should be wildly
excited. Open your heart and don't let, I don't want to say it that way. I pray that the experiences
you've had with men, with man, as in both men and women, with Christians do not become your lenses
of how to see God and what to hold in expectation for the coming season. And that history not be
your teacher because history is not your teacher. History doesn't dictate your future. The Lord is
your rabbi. That in this season that the Lord himself would be your rabbi and that your history
has no bearing on where you're going to go, how high you can go, what you're going to be, and that
God is going to move mountains and build bridges that you would never have imagined, including
opening up opportunities. So I think that's all I got to say about that. I don't want to
I don't want to get on my soapbox and then, you know, the neighbors will be coming. Why is this man shouting?
Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I appreciate everything. I just, wow.
You're welcome. I greatly feel so much lighter, so much. I just feel like so much has left me. I don't need
Wow. That's exciting. Yeah. Yes. Thank you for that word. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Thank you.
I've always felt for you and I just feel it reiterated yet again. And so, you know, obviously
Ed, from what he was hearing and sensing from Lord and expressing, you know, he was affirming it,
you know, that God is very pleased with you. You know, we all feel that in general with with certain
people. But for you, it was just it was a very marked thing that God was that God was noting
to my spirit. And apparently, you know, when Ed met you.
just now, you know, to his spirit as well.
Cause he, he affirmed it, um, that he's very, that the Lord is very,
very pleased with you.
You've been faithful, you know, when you didn't, when other people
wouldn't have been, and you had to do it in silence and you did it for him.
You did it for the Lord.
So he's very, very pleased with your, um, well, like I said, the word that
just keeps coming to mind as being the most important, and it's not something
that it's not a word that usually, uh, I usually talk a lot about that usually
comes to mind to describe people, but for you, it just seems to be just that
faithfulness and by that, I don't mean consistency, I mean, your faithfulness
to God, your, your choice that, that, that of, of him and choosing to follow
him and choosing, okay, God, if this is who you are, this is who I want to be
like, and this is who I want to, um, I want to come into alignment with.
And so I'm doing it to the best of my ability and staying consistent in
is showing your faithfulness to who he is.
So, and in other words, to your relationship.
Yeah.
So anyway, I felt that he's very, very pleased with that.
And so therefore he can entrust himself to you.
So
pray for you quickly, just to close things up.
So unless you have more that you want to do so, but where we just, I just
lift my beautiful sister Lord, and you've placed the word beauty as a banner over
the Lord, that, uh, every place in her soul and in her history where she's
fighting against that label that you've placed on her Lord, that you would win
that you would be, you would, that she would be persuaded that Lord, I pray
that you would seal this time together.
Um, that you would seal this time that Lord, that nothing can be lost or stolen.
I thank you Lord for every seed, every head of wheat that seemed to have,
um, died and fallen to the ground.
But your word says that, that, that a head of wheat has to die and fall to
the ground for our harvest to be reaped.
So I thank you Lord for the fields of promise that are still yet to be springing
forth, but I pray that you would, um, highlight everything and to uphold your
word for everything that was spoken, that was from you and that anything that
wasn't Lord God that would hit the ground and would die out and not, and
that she would not even remember.
I pray Lord, you would continue your good work.
I pray Lord that there be in a doors of intimacy to open up between the two of
you, Lord, to walk through greater and greater levels of freedom and things,
Lord, that in this season that you want to empty out of her backpack, uh, for
you to come and take back onto yourself that Lord, it is to be yoked with you.
And you're the big ox and we're the little ox and that we wouldn't
try to go kick against the goads.
We wouldn't try to go too fast.
And there's sometimes you'd have to drag us along.
And I pray today, Lord, that you would witness to her, that you would, uh, as
I jokingly say, wrap her up like a love burrito, Lord God, that you would
assault her with your love, that in every way, whether it's her favorite
song on the railroad or the billboard around on the corner, or that she
started getting junk mail that's advertising things that are, that have
been deep into her heart, that Lord would let her know as if assaulted by
your love, um, and the loved into submission that you really care about
the smallest little things in her life and that everything is about to change.
And I thank you Lord for the sudden leads, but nobody likes to talk about
all that was led up to the suddenly.
And I thank you Lord for the suddenly for her today.
And the suddenly she's getting ready to step into, and we
bless you in Jesus name.
Amen.
Oh, likewise, likewise.
Thank you so much.
Bye.
Have a good rest of your day.
Okay.
Love you guys.
Love you too.
Bye.