Hey there! Hey Ashley! There you are! I love your blouse! Oh thank you! Am I interrupting your lunch?
No, you're fine. You're fine. Sure. No, I just like getting it out of my teeth. Sorry! No, that's totally fine.
I want to eat before we talk. That's totally fine. You'll be my teacup choice this morning.
Yes! I'm having my tea in my new favorite teacup. Oh that's awesome. Sorry, I'm like
sweating. Oh my goodness, it's so hot here and I don't have the AC turned on
and it's humid and being pregnant and everything so I'm extra sparkly today.
Sparkly! I need to remember that. I like it better than glisten. You know how they say that women glisten.
Oh, I've never heard that. I like sparkle better. I've never heard that one before.
Oh yeah, with the lady that babysits him like once a week or so and so this morning I like
just took the day off. It was so nice. I just had like four hours, five hours to myself.
Yeah, and so then I went to go get him. He was out playing in their pool and was exhausted, fell asleep
on the way home. So he's over in bed now. So it worked out perfect. I was like pretty sure
it'll work out pretty good this afternoon. So I was glad to see you have a time open.
Yeah, I don't probably sleep for a while, you know, with all that heat and the chlorine.
Yeah, probably. He was out I think before noon and it's getting close to 90 here so it's like
super, super warm. Yeah, I don't know where we are now but yeah we're already in the 90s
and stuff like that. So it's probably like not even bad for you guys down there, right?
Yeah, when you said it was hot up there I was like yeah but how hot is that?
But you know everything's relative. All my work in the winter.
I don't know how y'all do it. The wind, the wind is what gets me. Really? The wind in the
winter. It's, I don't mind the cold as much as when it gets so terribly windy.
Yes, I can't handle that. How cold does it get down there though during the winter? Like what
are your average winters? Average is in the 40s for like cold, cold but it'll get down into the
30s periodically. It'll get down into the, it'll get down into the, it's not very often but it'll
periodically get down into the 20s. Maybe like once or twice in a winter and then it will get down
into the teens like rarely but every now and then it'll get that cold especially in West Texas
though but I'm here in East Texas in Dallas. So in West Texas where I grew up there, they don't
have as much humidity as they do here in Dallas and so it can get very cold and so you get more
snow up there on the panhandle than you do here. You know panhandle in Texas the part that sticks up.
It's flat. There's not as many trees and so anyway it'll, it'll sometimes get down into
the deep there. Yeah, yeah. It's not like it is up here. Our snow isn't like y'all's. You know we don't
get feet. We're excited about like when we get two inches or four inches. This is so much fun.
Oh wow. Well and even these winters are still mild compared to what we had in Montana. I'm like
there, there is no winter back here because on Montana it was like so cold but then it didn't
have, it wasn't a humid cold. It was like a dry cold. It was a different type of cold but then
I mean the snow, it was just snow and snow and snow which I loved because I was like if it's
going to be cold it may as well snow so. That's right. Yeah absolutely.
I don't know how New York does it. You know how they just
Just kind of, I mean, it was so many people if they just kind of like shut down that works.
I know.
Yeah, I know they have like this whole task force that's dedicated to nothing but snow.
Wow, that's crazy. I guess you can have to in a big city like that, though.
Yeah, well, no, I don't know that. I'm just, I'm just sure
Well, yeah.
Like
Yeah.
So,
How are you doing.
Oh, good. I'm doing really good. I mean, you probably thought by the silence that maybe wasn't doing that very good, but I've been doing really, really good.
And
I was thinking, I was like, in a way to explain how I felt this month. It's like, you know, when you when you hear a noise.
And it's like a new noise. And so you're like, everyone else needs to be quiet. So you can hear. That's how I feel like I feel like for the first time, like
I've actually been able to hear like, is that the Lord, like, is that God speaking, you know, like, I feel like I finally been experiencing him again. And I'm like, everybody else.
Like, no, wait, someone's talking to me.
Like,
I and it's not like super like it's not like I'm trying to hone in and like, it's not like it's hard work to like hone in and hear this. It's like this new thing like this new experience. And I'm like, everyone needs to be quiet. So I can just listen for a while.
But no, it's been so good. Oh my goodness. Even yesterday. Yesterday again yesterday morning I was out for my walk and I was just telling Laura said, you know, I'm just really ready to move.
Like out of our house where we live now. And I'm ready for land because we live like kind of in the suburbs of town.
I was like, I just really want to move. And I said, Lord, just give us the finances or the means or something. I said, a new client or a new project for Josh to work on whatever it is, however, the means are that you choose to move us with
Just somehow give me some hope that we will be able to move soon. And then later that day, I had forgot about that. I was even that I had asked for that. And then later that afternoon, Josh like, oh yeah, I got a new client today that there's a his dad's company wants to jump on a monthly retainer like a monthly project which is like, oh my goodness, I just asked for that this morning.
Oh my goodness. It's just, it's just absolutely I never knew anything like this existed. I mean, it's just been absolutely amazing.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, I am too.
I don't know if I told you this before, but when we were first married, I was sure that I had married the wrong person. And it was like a major. It was a major form of conflict for me. I was sure that I married the wrong person. And I was sure that I was going to have a lot of problems.
I was sure that I had married the wrong person. And it was like a major. It was a major form of conflict for me. I was sure that I married the wrong person.
And I was sure that any conflict we had was because he wasn't, you know, the right one for me and all this stuff. And it haunted me for years. We're coming up on five years of marriage. And I would say the first two years, it was like extreme, like it would make me sick because I thought I had ruined my life.
And now everything, every struggle or everything, every hardship that comes is now a result of the wrong decision that I made. And I started having these dreams that I was faced with the decision to marry Josh. And every time I was faced with it again, I chose someone else.
And it was like repeatedly over the past three, four years, I would say. It wasn't the same exact dream, but it was the same type of dream. And it just kept haunting me because every time I would look at Josh, and then I would look at, you know, some other guy from our church, and I would always choose someone else. And I would always reject Josh. I was like, okay, well, this is just a sign now for sure that I married the wrong person, you know.
And finally, it was, I think it was last week, it happened again, or two weeks ago. It happened again. I was like, okay, this is enough. I need to figure out what in the world is going on. I need to figure out if this is something that is still like lingering inside me because it's still something that I'm afraid of or that I believe. I remember you had said something very briefly that dreams are something that manifests out of what the soul believes.
It, I, I
Have those exact words. Yeah. Yeah.
Happening in the spirit realm. Yeah.
I remember you kind of touching on that. I was like, okay, well, I'm just going to go in once and see what's going on here. And
And so I, I talked to Josh for it.
I talked to Josh about it for a while and he, I mean, he, you know, bless his
heart, he didn't really know what to say about it and he was like, you know,
it's no big deal, like I know that you love me and I know, I know too, that
I'm certain, you know, that I love him.
And you know, we've been married for five years, we have kids together and
you know, it's not like I don't love him, but I just could not shake this
dream thing and I was like, okay, I'm going to figure out once and see what's
going on and it just kept coming back to me, like this whole fear thing, fear
that I made the wrong choice and the fear that, like the fear that I'll
never be able to reconcile, that I made the wrong choice and I just finally
told God, I said, I don't know where this is coming from or what in the
world is going on, but I said, I would really appreciate it if it would stop.
So whatever my soul is believing that is going on, just, it needs to stop.
I said that I know that I married the right person and I know that I told
God, I know that you wouldn't let me ruin my life with marrying the wrong
person, said, I believe I married the wrong person and whatever it is that
the soul is still believing, it can stop because you know, we, I know
that I made the right choice.
And would you believe last night I had another dream, the exact same scenario.
I was ready to make a decision about who to marry and I turned around and I
looked at somebody else and without even thinking, I chose Josh and we got, we
were ready to get married and I was like, oh my goodness, in all of the years that
I've been having these dreams, I have never once actually chosen him and I was
like, oh my word, like not only like did the dream didn't stop, but then I was
like a reconciliation dream for me.
Like knowing that in the end I actually chose Josh.
Yeah.
It's like, oh my goodness.
Like that brought so much, so much peace into my heart.
I was like, I didn't expect to actually have a dream that would reconcile it.
I figured maybe it would just go away.
Yeah.
I was like, oh my goodness.
That was just, that made my whole entire year.
I mean, it has been years.
I like the same scenario over and over and over again.
And I was like, okay, what is going on?
But I realized like how much fear I was still holding on to, like from just being
afraid that I made the wrong decision and that these dreams are from the Lord
confirming that and all this stuff.
And it was just so incredibly freeing.
And then I couldn't believe like last night I had another dream and it was
like the other way around, yes, something must have worked.
I don't know what worked, but something did.
So that was like super, super neat.
I was like, I want to make sure and tell Ashley about that.
Cause I just thought that was the coolest thing.
That is, that's really, really huge.
That's very huge in multiple ways.
That's wonderful.
I'm so excited for you because you're right.
You know, we, we do dream.
Um, when you, when you asked me about that, you know, had I said that it's
like, oh wow, I didn't remember us talking about that.
Uh, but yeah, so sometimes, you know, our dreams manifest what it is that we're
believing in our soul and like this conflict that we're having.
And then there are other times in which, um, it's our soul watching something
in the spirit that God's either trying to communicate to us or that
our spirit knows and our, and whatever.
So, um, so anyway, it's really, it's really, really interesting, but that
was, that's really exciting because you didn't have to do anything.
You just released it.
You just gave it up and you told yourself.
And you, and you told, I don't want to say the universe, but
I'm saying is you declared by the universe.
I meant like creation, you know, not God, but I mean, like Christian,
you like declared it.
Hey, look, I'm, I'm saying what it is that I believe I'm
not being driven by something.
I'm saying, no, this is what I'm believing.
This is what I'm standing on and saying is true.
And I expect that it will manifest like that.
I will expect, I expect that it will manifest according to that truth.
And it did.
And then you were praying to the Lord and you were asking, you know, you
know, I'm standing on this truth and I'm asking that you come in and that
you, um, that you show me that this thing has that you manifested, show
me and affirm that I really am standing, that the truth that I'm standing
on really is accurate, really is correct.
Settle it down in me.
Um, so that enabling it to actually, uh, uh, manifest, in other words, you're
saying that it already is so, and you just want it to, to form an actuality
in reality and where we know where we're not having to do anything.
We're not having to, like you said, we're not having to reconcile,
you know, something or whatever.
Um, but that the Lord just showed you, yes, it's already done as opposed to.
Just having it go away.
You know, so it's so much more powerful that he actually had it and showed, um, I don't
remember if you referred to it as reconciliation, but it showed, you know, tied up all of the
loose ends.
Yes.
I'm declaring that this thing is done.
That's wonderful.
Based off of what you did, you said, this is how it is.
And I am saying, I'm not being driven by something outside or something that I'm feeling or by
some fear.
And then I'm this victim, you know, you stood up, you're like, no, no, this is how it's
going to be.
And the Lord backed you up on it because you were standing in his character, Lord, I know
you wouldn't have, I know you would have, I know you, whatever.
And he's like, yes, you're right.
That is who I am.
I am according to how you've declared me to be.
And therefore I will show up like that.
That's amazing.
Wonderful.
Now you don't have to, but if ever, if you get a chance and get a few minutes, if you
would like to post something, I, you know, in the group, I know that would be encouraging
and you don't have to mention it was about the marriage or anything.
It would just be like something like, Oh, something that you were afraid of, and then
you were concerned that you've made a mistake many, many years ago, or I don't know, whatever.
You don't have to.
But every time I hear things like this, I'm like, you don't have to get into the specifics
of it.
Cause I understand it's a very private thing, but if there's some way that you can think
of that's in your heart that you'd like to share that, if then that's great.
If you don't feel that it's something to share, then don't know what you, you know, whatsoever.
It just, just an idea for you to decide as to whether or not you want to share that you
know, an aspect of it and share the principle of it, not because the specifics of it don't
matter.
It don't matter at all.
In fact, so much, we can get stuck on the specifics and not understand there's a principle
that's important, not how it actually works out in somebody else's life.
Cause then sometimes they have a difficult time making the connection with their own
life because they're not seeing the principles they're too caught in the details of it.
Like, Oh, well that's not my situation.
That's not the point.
It's the principle.
Just an idea that I like to mention to people because I always get excited about hearing
these things and I know other people do as well, but so that's, that's wonderful.
Did you tell Josh?
I didn't get a chance to this morning.
I was still like wrapping my mind around it and making breakfast and he left before I
got a chance that like, I can't wait to tell him when he comes home.
Cause I know that it'll be a huge deal for him too, because he knows the turmoil that
I have been over it.
Oh my word.
And it is just, it's one of those things that just eats you up inside, you know, and then
you have dreams to confirm what a horrible choice he made, you know, or that's how you
feel.
And it's just, it was just one of those things like, God totally didn't have to do that for
me.
You know, he totally didn't have to do it for me.
And he did.
And like even way more than I ever thought he would like, wow, this is just incredible.
That's exciting.
And then the client, you know, what you were praying for, I loved how you prayed.
You were just like, Lord, how do you want to come through?
As opposed to asking specifically, Lord, I'm asking for this, I'm asking for the client
I'm at, or I'm asking for this, or I'm asking for this.
It was, you're just like, Lord, I don't know how you want to do it.
You can do this.
You can do whatever.
I don't know.
I think we have to approach the Lord because we are opening our, it's evidence that we're
opening ourselves up to receive the manifestation of his character, as opposed to being focused
on, no, Lord, I will only see that you love me if it works like this.
Then what we don't realize is we're limiting him when the whole point of it isn't the result.
It's not the physical thing.
It's not the manifestation that's important.
It's his character that's important.
He's the one who chooses, the giver of love is the one who chooses how he wants to express
the love because love says everything about the giver, not about the receiver.
It's kind of like, I don't know about you.
I've gotten to the point where it doesn't, okay, well, let me rephrase it.
If I ask somebody what they want, I don't mind them telling me what they want, but I
don't like someone telling me what they want me to give them if I haven't asked them for
it.
I want to just give them something based on my heart and what it is that in my heart for
them and how I want to express.
that but I have someone in my life that's gotten a lot better but they used
to they they receive they risk they receive love most strongly through gifts
it's just something I don't understand because I just don't I mean I love gifts
and they mean a lot to me but what means a lot to me is the thought that someone
put into it the time that they put into I'm going to get it whatever it's not
that it's not you know the gift but for them you know that so it's not my
strongest love language I always translate that into my strongest love
language which is words of affirmation and time so it's like oh my word the
time that they spent or the words of affirmation what it is they're saying
when they're giving me this thing you know that kind of thing um but this
person just believed that if I didn't give them a gift that it that that
whatever gift I gave them told them whether or not but based on the gift
itself that told them whether or not I love them I mean I could give them a
gift and they could see oh my word you don't love me and then I can give them a
different gift and they'd say oh my word you love me and I'm like this is too
much pressure it is stressful you know because they felt that if I didn't give
them something that that they like that it meant I didn't know them mm-hmm now
now one of the things with that person was that they didn't realize that they
weren't showing me who they were and so therefore there's no way for me to know
and so I got to the point where I just have to ask this person what it is that
they want because I'm too concerned that I'm going to hurt them because
they're gonna receive a gift that I gave because that I had put a lot of
thought into and I thought oh I think they real I watched them really liking
these things and they talked about this before and they're gonna realize that
yes I always pay attention when they talk to me because I heard them when
they said this and then they get it and then they're hurt because like I don't
think it's not about you and how I feel about you and what I'm trying to do for
you in other words me and so I have watched them I have stood there and
watched them give a gift back to someone a few minutes after they had given they
had received the gift and asked for a receipt because they said that this
wasn't something that they usually like and they prefer to go back and get
something else oh dear yes it well I just kind of stood
there watching this poor person have to you know get the gift back and figure or
no they kept get and figure out okay have I kept the receipts where I put it
you know and they're trying to be really sweet up absolutely yeah yeah I'll get
to the receipt and the poor thing was so hurt because they had put thought
into the gift thinking I think they're really gonna like this and then the
person is asking for their seat you know anyway so like oh my word they haven't
understood this but the thing is that that gifts are all about the giver it's
what the giver wants to express with themselves a person doesn't have to show
love and a person does in person doesn't have to give love to someone else and a
person doesn't have to get a gift so it's so nice when we just show
ourselves the Lord hey Lord you want to love me and I want to present myself to
you very intentionally and say I am open to receiving your love and however you
want to manifest it he feels X he feels especially loved that way because we're
not telling him how we want to be loved we're like no no it's you I want Lord
how do you want to express who it is that you are and how I feel how you feel
towards me so I like how you pray that makes so much sense so I never thought
of it that way that makes a lot of sense so how that would how that works yeah
never think about it being you know the gift being about the the lover not the
receiver that makes a lot of sense yeah I was gonna say oh yeah when we're young
in the Lord we don't kind of like children we don't understand that we see
it in relationship to whether or not I like it you know whether I like the
Legos that whether or not I like the crayons whether or not I like the
whatever and as opposed to what it is that the person was thinking so the Lord
does the same thing the spirit when we're young in this spirit and when we
ask for specifics that is how we understand love
So he shows himself in the way that,
oh, are you there?
Oh, there we go.
He shows-
Sorry, I got a phone call.
Oh, no, that's fine.
He shows himself in where it is that we're looking.
So if we're looking at a particular direction,
he's gonna put himself there,
but eventually he wants us to get to the point
where he can be over here, call us,
and we can turn and find him.
Even if it's in the unknown,
even if it's in an area
in which we've never seen him before,
we've never watched him manifest,
we've never seen his love,
we've never seen that expression actually
be an expression of love before.
We always thought it was an expression of something else.
And so, but that comes as we mature.
But when we're young, we can ask for specifics
and then, young in the faith,
then we can ask for specifics
because that's all we understand.
And then the Lord will come through in those ways.
But we ask for something and he gives us that.
But as we mature, as we come to understand,
no, he loves me and I don't have to focus on,
it's not the thing itself that tells,
in my initial response,
my relationship between me and the thing,
regardless of the giver, me and the thing,
that tells me whether or not God loves me.
God just loves me.
So I can take my eyes off of this thing
and know that he loves me
and it takes the object out of the equation.
And it makes, and then God can begin to present himself
in bigger and bigger ways
and show his love in greater and greater measure
because we're willing to see,
we're willing to receive his love in unknown areas now.
So we can show his love all over the place
and move us into bigger and better things.
Let's say, for instance,
I'm sorry, I'm trying to figure out how to say this
without sounding confusing.
I think I'm sounding confusing, so let me give an example.
Say, for instance, if someone asks specifically for,
I don't know, a,
what was it?
What's a good idea?
Asks for a,
I don't know.
Trying to think.
Well, they just ask for something.
Say, for instance, that someone asks for a new job
and, or no, not a new job.
They ask for a promotion.
They ask for a promotion
and they ask very specifically,
God, I want a promotion.
This is all I want.
And they become very obsessed with it
because we can get that way about things
because we think the promotion is gonna fix
whatever it is that I don't like about my current situation.
So I'm just focused on the promotion.
Lord, give me a promotion.
Well, if we focus so much on that
and God keeps trying to prompt us that,
no, I have a new job for you.
I want you to move to a new job.
You're gonna like this job better.
It's gonna give me more money.
You don't even know it's out there yet,
but I'm trying to guide you away
from focusing on this promotion
so you can start seeing this other thing
that so-and-so approached you about
as a really great opportunity
that I know is actually gonna meet
the desires of your heart more.
But you're focused on the promotion
and you're obsessed with it
and you're going, God,
why aren't you giving me the promotion?
God's like, okay, fine.
I'll give you the promotion.
So what we did is we just limited God
because he wanted to give us something better.
But we told him,
we were basically telling him by our obsession
and by our frustration at this distraction
that kept coming into our life,
begging for attention.
Like, Lord, why,
there's this thing that the devil
keeps trying to distract me by
and I'm trying to have faith
that you're gonna give me this promotion.
And God's like, no, no, no.
I'm bigger than that.
I'm better than that.
I'm more loving than that.
I wanna give you this,
but this is the only way in which you believe
that I can love you.
So therefore, I'm gonna manifest my love like that.
And we get so excited and so happy
and we don't realize that we just limited,
we limited what God,
we limited the amount in which God wanted to express
how much he loves us.
So that's one of the ways in which we can limit ourselves
is by asking to specifically,
unless the Lord outputs something on our heart.
And there's nothing wrong about asking
for something specifically.
It's the stranglehold we put on it
and insisting that, Lord, this is the way.
That's the problem.
There's nothing, I ask for specifics all the time,
but I don't hold on to them.
I just kind of keep my hands in a river
and just let them go.
The water, you know, the water of the Lord and just kind of like the flow of life just kind of flow through my fingers, as opposed to trying to grasp something
I just, I just keep it open like Lord, this would be nice. I really like this. I really like that.
And sometimes it's the only way that I understand how to express the deep desires of my heart that he understands are bigger than I do.
The only way I can think of how to express the desire my heart is X and God's like, no, no, that the desire of your heart is like this big and you only say it like this, but I want to give you this because I know that that's really what it is that you want to make him into you. I like how you pray.
That makes sense. And I've, I've, I've been experiencing kind of what you were saying towards the end about how you don't even know how big the desires of your heart are because we're kind of in the process of trying to figure out if we, if we want to move, like, you know, out of the suburbs and more into the county.
And I, I told Josh recently, like, I did not realize how much I have not allowed myself to dream about things like that because I was so scared. I would never get them.
And I told him, like, I all of a sudden feel like I can dream again. And I don't even like it's from a place so deep inside me that I forgot was even there.
Like to live in place like on a place with land or with the meadow and trees, you know, and then just to actually let myself go there.
I told him, like, it literally makes me cry because I it's been suppressed for so long. And I just thought it's interesting about how you said how a lot of times we don't even know the dreams that we have or the desires of our heart.
Because it started with my garden. You remember the story about my garden in the backyard. And then from that burst into like this huge thing like, no, I'm actually ready to leave the suburbs and like get into
land and have a place to really put our roots down and to have place for kids to run around and all that stuff. So it's just been really interesting how I feel. So all of a sudden, like,
I have the ability to actually dream about something without being afraid that it's not going to happen.
Because for so long, I had all these dreams and I was just waiting for God to squash them. And now it's like I have all these dreams and I'm just waiting for God to make them happen.
It's just, it's a whole new life. I'm like, oh my goodness, I don't even know how it feels to dream anymore. But it's so exciting to think that, you know, it's only a matter of time until
Until it happens or until we move or until however God moves us. I mean, at this point, I'm like, the way he gave us my garden. I'm like, who knows how it'll end up that we actually get moved, but I'm excited for what the next couple years hold for us because we can't, we can't get a loan or move
Because we have been business owners for, we haven't been business owners for two years. So the bank, like, they can't give you mortgages or loans or whatever. So we're like stuck here for another half year or so. So we're kind of in the in between of
Do we want to move? Where do we want to move? Where do we want to go? All that good stuff. Because we can't get a mortgage unless somebody would like co-sign or something. So it's been interesting trying to figure out all that stuff.
Just, just a reminder. Can you see, is this, can you see this written the correct way for nurses? Okay, so just a reminder. So when you're talking about, oh, we can't because
That's things that are operating in the soul and the body. This is how mortgages work. This is how loans work. We don't fit in that category X, Y, and Z. But if you're operating in spirit, anything can happen. So anyway, just FYI.
So you don't
Yeah, so you don't have to worry. So in other words, I'm just, I'm just giving you the opportunity. That is how serious our dreams are that and that's how they can work is because we are not subject to the laws. We're not subject to
Either, what is it? Oh, sorry. Switch to this side. We're not subject to either. Can you see this or it's a glare?
No. Okay. We're not subject to either physical laws, spiritual laws, or any other like laws that people create, which would probably fall under like
Traditions of men, you know, these ideas that people come up with. Well, this is how this is how our mortgages work and this is how our loans work or whatever.
And that is, but we're so used to thinking that way that now God does work within structure, but he, but anything of this spirit totally supersedes
structure. So just as an encouragement that our dreams are, how would you put that, that
God can make anything happen that doesn't even make sense in the natural. People don't
understand, wait a minute, I don't understand, how did you even get that loan? How did you
do this? How did you do that? Okay. Did you see Renee's, you know, in the group, did you
see her, her update, her, she did a video live maybe two, three weeks ago about their
property taxes. Okay. So in their, their property tax, their property taxes were going to go
up, but she said that they have hay on the, on the land and that, that gives them kind
of like an agricultural makes it agricultural property as opposed to what would, that would
be like residential property perhaps, which is obviously a lot more. And they, she said
that they were going to owe $6,000 as opposed to, I don't remember how much it was, but
I thought it was less than a thousand. It was like 300 or something ridiculous. And,
and she said all of a sudden that they said that, that, that the law that they, they've
been doing that for years. And the person that they were talking to, and I don't remember
who the person was, but it was somebody who had the right to make a decision said, Oh,
well, you know, I'm sorry. I just need to let you know that you're getting out. Oh,
$6,000. And they're like, well, why? And so they're going back and forth. So she said
that while her husband was on the phone, she went to the Lord and I don't remember what
she said, but basically the Lord, I don't know what you want to do, but thank you so
much for taking care of this situation for us. So basically she declared things according
to his character, you know, said, okay, this is how, this is how I believe that it is going
to be. And I thank you for however it is that you decide to, to take care of this situation.
And then five minutes after her husband got off the phone, the person called him back
and said, I don't know even why I'm calling you. And he said, I don't, I can't believe
I'm going to do this, but I'm going to allow it to, I'm a lot going to allow you to continue
to pay the small amount that you've been paying for your property taxes. They said, I don't
even know why I'm on the phone with you. I mean, like it just totally superseded any
kind of, you know, any kind of, uh, uh, what we would think of as, as, uh, you know, legal
obligation to pay that. Yes. Yeah. So I didn't understand all of the legalities. I don't,
I don't, but whatever it was, the legalities were based off of, it sounded like the legalities
were based off of what this person declared the land to be. And according to the way that
they were reading the law, they were like, I don't think I can do it in any other way.
But then they, for whatever reason, they had something that just told them, no, it needs
to be the other. And so like, okay, fine. I mean, God can just overrule those kinds
of things. And we read stories about like all of our demands were in prison because
they had done something. And if I were, I don't remember, correct. I don't remember
if they had actually broken the law or, or, uh, you know, by like preaching, but whatever
it was, they had done something that the law thought you shouldn't be doing. So, and they
were in jail. And so we all think, oh, well, yeah, they were in jail and it was unjustified.
And therefore the angel came and he opened the door and whatever. Well, I don't know,
maybe according to law, it was justified, but according to the spirit, it wasn't the
spirit always supersedes and they were preaching the gospel and they were doing whatever else
they hadn't committed a sin. And therefore God was like, no, no, no, I'm going to let
you out. So it, uh, uh, I just wanted to, to encourage you in that, that, that those
are not restrictions for someone who's operating as a son of God. Now, I don't know if God's
going to choose to operate within that structure, you know, of well, mortgages usually work
like this loans usually work like this, but even if he chooses to operate within that
structure, you, he is not, he is not draining you within that structure. You are not in
bondage and he is not submitting you in bondage to the structure. That's just simply the,
the, the structure flew through which he's wanting y'all's journey to flow, but you're
not in any way enslaved to, or, or restricted by, uh, by it. But believing that you're restricted
by it is appealing to that court. And then you will be restricted by it. But if you know,
you're not restricted.
by it and that God that might just be the means through which God wants to
flow well then then then that's fine then you're free in your spirit and then
it appeals then you can appeal to the higher court and that's that's when
sometimes God can even come in and say you know what that's not even the
structure through which I want to flow your journey or he may but either way
you're free as opposed to thinking yeah but this is the way that things are so I
know that God can can give me something but he's gonna give it to me he's he's
forced to or he's going to force me to go through this that and the other well
no there's no forcing there's no enslavement there's no restriction
because you are above all of those things so you might just encouragement
thank you for saying that because I was it was like it was kind of confusing for
me because I've been thinking like I have these dreams for a reason like I
know that God has given them to me but yet how are we still restricted like if
the Lord would bring up the property for us I'm like how does it still work that
we would be restricted then to stay but that makes so much sense so yeah thank
you for mentioning that that makes a lot of them you remember again we hear all
these Bible stories and we think that's great but we're not we don't realize
that that's supposed that that's an indication of the fact that we're sons
of God we just think oh well that was something wild and crazy and when Mary
came when an angel came to Mary and said hey you're but you're 50 they they
assumed she was about like 15 years old based off of the customs at the time and
they said you're gonna have a baby and she's like how can that be because I
mean we can see a mortgage and a loan coming through faster than we can see a
woman having a baby you know I mean like you know there was no such thing as
contraception back then
does it sting is anything like that back then and I mean in God that wasn't like
this wild and crazy thing that was just an anomaly that God threw in this monkey
wrench that God threw into the world no that is him operating with a human who
was who whose spirit is one with him and he they are just not operating in the
Dominion but God's keeps showing trying to prove to us and give us evidence yeah
but you can't you can't if you believe and so she did she said may it be into
me as you have said I will believe that was that was oh my word tremendous faith
that she had and we can see we can see you know that she had tremendous favor
with the Lord and now when this angel came to her and said hey by the way I'm
going to oh God is going to overrule any kind of physical laws and you're also
it's going to be it's not even going to be in a way that other people are going
to celebrate because it looks bad for a woman she'd be pregnant before she's
married as opposed to something nice and happy like oh my word you got your
your loan approved you get to move into a house that's nice you have to be like
oh my word I don't know how that happened but it's nice she had to she
had to not only accept the fact that God is telling her that something that
doesn't make sense to her sense to her you know what actually happened but
she's also saying may it be unto me as you have said meaning I know what that
can do to my reputation he has a right to my husband or you know her husband
they still call them husband but you know fiancee it had the right to divorce
her and I'm trying to remember you know separate and I thought there was
something else means that she would never be able to be married again and I
don't remember if there was some other thing that that that she that the you
know that society had a right to do to her I don't know anyway I mean it was
serious and she still said okay if you say it I'll you know I may be into me as
you've said I mean it really is wild and that's that's just God interacting with
the Son of God not interacting and actually with the human who didn't
realize she was a son of God yet but so point is that we read all of those
scriptures and we don't realize no those are the situations that called us
calling us to act in and believe him for today
so anyway you're free exciting exciting just so you see how big we can dream
We can, we can dream so big and I'm like, okay, Lord, I didn't know how it's going to
happen.
I didn't know what it's going to look like.
I can tell you what it is that I would like my house to look like, but I'm not going to
tell you what I'm demanding that it look like, you know, and be whatever, what do you, what
do we want to do together?
How do we want it to look, how do we want to, and then how do we want to journey towards
it?
Is you and me flowing in relationship because the whole point is our relationship, not in
me progressing towards a goal, but anyway, there's that, that's good.
So anything else that need to be caught up on or, uh, well, the only other thing that
I wanted to talk about was business and I literally, when I stick my head in the sand,
so I don't know who wants to save that for like our next time.
I just, uh, the thought, the thought, the thought of my business literally makes me
want to go in bed with a migraine.
Like I don't know what is wrong.
I don't know what's wrong with it.
I just can't even go there.
I just feel like when I think of my business, I think of a pond that's just gross and dead.
That's the best way to describe it.
And I do not know.
I want it to be successful and I want it to, to make money, you know, and, and it is, it
is making income for us.
I just don't know what to do with it.
I have no idea what to do with it or where to go with it.
And I don't even want to go there, but I know I need to because I have clients.
I mean, I have like people under me with Young Living and all that stuff.
And it's just, I don't know what to do with it anymore.
Yeah.
Well, um, uh, I recommend that what I, what I did is I went all the way back to the basics.
Not like, okay, well, what should I be doing while I really don't want to know if there's
a reason why you're feeling that way.
And so there's a, there's a root somewhere.
So you go, go back and just like, okay, you know, God is, do you want me to have a business?
Is this something that you're, is, you know, when I get, when I quiet myself, is there
something now, maybe not this business, cause again, you're not getting, you're not, you're
not asking that question yet.
You're just going back to, okay, Lord, what do you want me to do with my life?
How do you want me to do it?
How do you want you and I to express our relationship out into the world?
Where do we expend our quote unquote energy?
You know, um, you've given me, um, you've made me a wife, you've made me a mother.
So I've got energy in those areas is another way and another model and another structure
on the earth, um, that through which you want us to flow is one of those in the business
model.
Um, and then, um, and then understand that in the end, um, and, and, and be honest with
yourself as opposed to thinking, um, as opposed to thinking that the business has to look
a particular way.
You're not even, you're not even there yet.
You're just asking just business period.
And then once you get that and you're like, okay, let's say for instance that God says
that yes, I do want you to, cause if he says no, well then there you go.
But if he says yes, well then you think, okay, Lord, what, what kind of business, you know,
what is my heart?
What is my heart drawn to?
What is it when I sense your spirit and mine, what is it that we're doing?
How does, how does life kind of flow out of me?
What gets me passionate?
What gets me excited?
Um, is it helping women do this?
Is it helping women with this kind of thing?
Is it helping women to be free in this kind of area or is it, you know, men in this kind
of area or whatever?
Um, and then, and, and you just go on and you just keep asking yourself, you're asking
the Lord questions and you just sense in the spirit, not just what his will is, not just
your father's heart, but yours as well tied to the father's heart, not yours, uh, not
yours down here.
What is it that I want to do is if we believe that there's still this veil and we're trying
to, and we're, and we're seeing ourselves in separation, but just no, no, no.
This is we're spirit.
We're not soul.
We are spirit.
We have a soul.
We're in a body.
Yes.
They're all one, but just like father, son, and Holy spirit, they operate as in a way
as different as separate entities, but at the same time, they're all unified anyway,
but we are spirit.
So this is who we are.
This is where our real desires, um, this is how.
but how would I put that?
This is the desires that you're wanting to,
that you're wanting to focus on is,
okay, what is it that my spirit wants?
And my spirit, and anything that your spirit wants up here
is going to be perfect and beautiful
because your soul has, your spirit has never sinned.
So everything is fine up here
and it's going to be separate and different than God,
even though you're one with God and you're in God,
you know, again, there's that whole thing,
you're one, but you're separate and all of that.
So there's God's spirit in your father's heart
and your father's desires,
and then there's your heart and your desires,
even though normally when we're talking about the heart,
we're talking about the soul.
Anyway, I'm trying to just talk about this
in a way that's very simple and not confusing.
So I'm talking about getting to that part of yourself.
You know, when you sense the father's heart
and you sense yourself not in separation, isolation,
and abandonment from him,
oh my word, I'm scared of what God's going to ask me to do.
So God, if you gave me my druthers,
you know, I don't want to do these things
and I want to do these other things.
Well, that's feeling like I'm in a place of lack,
that I'm scared of what God might ask me.
So I'm not talking about going to that place of you
where, you know, we believe that we're abandoned.
I'm talking about, you know, okay,
feeling that God is a safe place.
I'm feeling the father's heart.
Lord, if you're providing for me and you're taking,
and you're protecting me and you're identifying me
in that place where I feel safe and secure,
what is it that I really want?
If I don't have to provide for and protect myself,
if there's nothing to fear,
if there's no business that I can do that I won't like,
that could attack me, that could hurt me or whatever,
what is it that I want to do?
Because I'm over all of those things.
The thing is, though, that we have to do it from that place
and not question it the way that we've been questioning it
up to this point, because right now,
some of your fear might be,
and this is why you need to ask these questions
because I don't know where that fear lies,
but often, and this is how it was for me,
sometimes that fear isn't that we don't wanna do the thing,
it comes from the fact that the last time we did it,
it hurt us, and we're like,
and we associate our pain and our hurt with that thing.
That thing is the enemy, and I want no part of that.
So God, please don't ask me to do that again.
Don't ask me to go back there.
And so God will tell us, no, no, no,
that was when you thought you were abandoned.
That's when you thought that I was requiring
something of you, and I was leaving you alone,
demanding of you that you do a good job and get it done.
And he said, well, no wonder you were hurt.
He said, but now you understand that that's not the case,
that I'm with you, and that I want our spirits
to take a journey and flow together,
not you deciding on your own how to execute it.
He said, because no wonder you got hurt,
because you weren't built to provide for
and protect yourself.
So obviously you got hurt.
So it's like, we're not, he said, this time,
we're not gonna do it that way.
This time, what hurt you can't hurt you anymore,
because you're coming at it from the devil,
coming at it from your spirit,
and you're coming at it in conjunction with me,
and that has life and power
that supersedes anything of this world.
So that's what you're getting back to
is you're trying to figure out, okay,
well, how far back does this go?
Does this go to the fact that I started a business
based off the fact that I felt I had to provide for
and protect myself, and I thought we needed money,
and I thought this would be a good way
to expend my energy,
and so therefore I'm trying to do something,
and God didn't even want me to start a business?
Or is it that, no, I was following
what the Lord wanted me to do,
but I picked the wrong one?
And not the wrong one, I don't wanna say the wrong one,
but I picked one based off of, again,
okay, I've gotta provide for and protect myself,
and this seems like the best option.
I was able to get the highest amount of commission this way,
or it seemed the easiest,
or it seemed the most logical, whatever.
Well, in other words,
why did you make the decisions that you made,
and regardless of why you made the decisions that you made,
is God in them?
Because you could have even made them for the wrong decision
for the wrong reasons,
and God's still like, yeah, but I still used it,
because it says that God uses everything
for the good of those that love him.
So it doesn't mean that,
oh, well, just because she made a decision
for the wrong reason means that God's not in it.
I'm not saying that, but I'm saying that.
Okay, well, why did I make that decision? And is God still is God still in it? Or is it that no, he's not in it. And he wanted me to do something else.
And I made this choice because I thought I was, I was afraid I suddenly took everything into my own hands. So in other words, at which point in the journey as you ask yourself these questions.
Did you start taking things into your own hands thinking I have to provide for protect myself and create my own identity.
And then you might have done everything you know, according to the spirit in the final, it gets to the point where actually knowing, okay, how do we reach customers?
Do I want to do videos. Do I want to have a Facebook group. Do I want to, you know, how do I want to reach people with Young Living Oils? Am I using everybody else's strategies and tactics?
And that's why it's felt uncomfortable. It's not fun. I it feels like this stagnant pond. It's just gross, because it doesn't have your spirit in it. It has somebody else's spirit in it.
Because it that what worked for them, but they don't understand that it wasn't the strategy that works.
This is a little complicated, but just trying to be simple here. It's not that it was the strategy that worked as if it's this formula that works for everybody.
The reason that it worked for them is their spirit was in it. And that's why it worked. So when you apply your spirit, it doesn't work because it's your spirit. That's the life fuel. It's not the things you're doing.
So you need to go, you need to express your spirit in whatever way it's supposed to manifest itself. And it's maybe not supposed to manifest itself in a Facebook group or an individual parties or in what does that make sense?
Yeah, yeah.
I feel like
I feel like from the very get go. It was
I had no idea what I was doing. Like, I feel like, well, it's it started most on Instagram, like my audience, I guess, or whatever, being on there. And that was because I was postpartum and depressed and needed something to do.
And well, because we'll start something
That obviously is really toxic right now. So no, I know. Like, I just started it because I was extremely depressed and lonely Josh was working on and I needed something to do.
And then before I knew it, like I had people that needed me and I didn't know what I got myself into. But I knew all along, like this whole multiple marketing thing. Like, I can't, I can't even like
Oh, I hate multiple marketing structure. I just hate it because the only thing I knew all along that the only thing that's going to set it apart is me.
And it puts so much pressure on me because I'm like, this is like this whole structure thing is so dumb because like you are the only
Common you are the only denominator. How is that you are the you know what I'm trying to say that you are the
Basically, here's the thing that sets yourself apart, especially in multi level marketing. So I was like, Okay, well, if I wasn't doing good, then it was my fault because I wasn't producing enough. I wasn't whatever and then
Did really let myself like really let myself flow and let my spirit flow out of me.
Then my business grew, but then someone attacked me really, really bad over that time and I still I still don't think I've recovered and I'm like, Okay, forget it, then I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Yeah, so I don't know because I know that my business has to be flowing from who I am as a person or who I am in my spirit and I just feel like
I don't know what that looks like probably because I haven't
Been doing it long enough. I don't know.
No, no, I completely understand. I have discovered things even for myself, while you know me.
I've been discovering it and I've been I've been open and transparent in some of that telling y'all, you know, oh, look, okay, I tried this and it in it, quote unquote, didn't work or I did a
In other words, it didn't it. I was operating out of my soul and not my spirit or I did a video and I was operating out of my soul and not my spirit, you know, things like that. I was learning
As I went, I'm still learning. Oh my goodness, the things that happened yesterday that I hadn't been doing videos on my on my Facebook page, for instance, and my personal Facebook page and this guy reached out to me that
I'm trying to remember if we've ever been really in contact before just this random guy on Facebook. He said he's a Christian. I he's not a preacher, but
I don't know some kind of that he has it on his heart that he's always, you know, trying to pour the Word of God into other people and he just randomly reached out to me. Essentially, we've never had contact randomly reached out to me.
He said, Hey, Ashley, he said, I enjoyed your, he said, I've always enjoyed your Georgia
videos.
He said, you know, um, I can't just keep waiting for the next one.
And he said, so get to work and they, and they said something like, LOL, you know, whatever.
He's married with a kid.
So it's all good.
But the point is, it was just like this random stranger that, that just told me, and well,
I just thought that they weren't, I didn't know that it was making that type of an impact
on people where someone would remember them.
And it's been a few months, it's probably been two or three months, if not longer since
I've made a video to put it on my personal profile.
And he just randomly reached out to this lady and tells her that they're missing.
So I thought, well, we're, I haven't known what to do with my personal Facebook page.
I haven't known, I've tried different things.
In fact, you, if you look back over this past like year and a half, I am all over the board,
all over the board, different messages, different offers, different, whatever.
I'm trying to figure out, Lord, where, where is my spirit?
Where are you?
What, what are we doing?
And I just felt lost in this sea and I just started, started trying things in even now
when I have at least some, some semblance, I haven't under, it feels like more of an,
of a concrete way to describe what it is that I'm doing and whatever.
I'm still trying to figure it out.
So when that guy told me that yesterday, I kept telling him, Lord, I thought that I wasn't
going to be doing videos on my personal Facebook profile anymore.
What are you, are, is there something, but my point is I began to explore in my spirit
with the Lord.
Okay.
This man reached out to me and mentioned that that's where they're odd.
It's very surprising.
It's very out of the blue, Lord, I've been asking you and wondering what should I do
with my personal profile, Facebook profile.
And so I just kind of sensed in the spirit, okay, you know, what are some thoughts?
What are some ideas?
Not in my head.
What are some thoughts and ideas in my spirit?
Like where am I sensing the father's heart?
Is there something I should, uh, that he's saying, Oh, actually I want you to start reaching
people like this.
I want you to express your spirit this way.
I want you to express your spirit that way.
Again, the results aren't up to me.
They're up to the Lord, but in, in he and I journeying together in our relationship,
how does he want me to do it?
So he started giving me some ideas suddenly and I hadn't been able to come up with ideas
for a week, if not a few months.
And so, and that just happened like yesterday.
So in other words, it's just like this journey where you're not supposed to know everything,
you know, it's not all of these formulas and strategies that are down pat that someone
else has figured out the secret sauce in the secret passageway.
And if you can just grab ahold of that, then your path is clear.
And it's just not true.
For instance, young living talks like this because 90 some odd percent, 90, 95, 99% of
the world talks like this.
And that's that, Hey, we've set everything up so you don't have to, you don't have to
do anything.
You don't have to create anything.
We have a set structure that you just step into and you take advantage of.
They're not lying.
It is true.
But what actually makes it work though, is your spirit, not their structure, but people
into it thinking it automatically works and I don't have to apply myself.
So in other words, just understand when you're, when you're, uh, when you're thinking, I don't
know what I'm doing.
I haven't, I don't know what, you know, so often when I'm doing, I mean, I don't know
what it looks like to y'all.
If it looks like, Oh my word, Ashley's just got this cell thing set up and she just does
this together.
I'm just like, Oh, you do remember that I, within 15 minutes, I came up with the idea
for the April intensive just as a highlight of kind of like, maybe I'll do a group.
I don't know how, but I'll do a group and I made the offer.
I publicly posted it within 15 minutes and then people were asking me on the call because
they started being interested.
They were asking me on the call.
Okay.
So what is it like?
And in real time I was answering them, Oh, well we're going to have this, we're going
to have that.
I was making it up as I went and I'm telling you that there's probably out of all of the
things in the April intensive, out of all of the things that are in the rest intensive
now, there's probably only been maybe like two or three things from the original, from
the way that I originally said that it was going to work.
one day, maybe one or two things that are actually different every other time when I
operated by the spirit, including the order in which I, I, um, I did teachings.
I thought that the teachings were going out of order because I was answering people's
questions.
And then I was coming back around to my original teaching that I was going to do an order.
I have not changed that order.
I love them.
And that's because every time I try to change the order, God's like, no, actually, that's
not the order in the way that people need to hear it.
So if people were to look on the outside, they would be like, actually, that makes no
sense.
You know, because logically this should come before this, these should be grouped and these
should be grouped.
But whenever I try to do it, it messes it up.
Whenever I think that I'm not good enough and that I haven't done a good job teaching
case in point last night, I don't know if you've seen the live.
I did the live last night.
I got off.
I was in the middle of the live and got off the live and I thought, Lord, I am so sorry.
I don't think that it went well.
I don't think that I did a good job.
I almost, I had to force myself to rewatch it because it was like, it was making me heart
sick and almost kind of like sick to my stomach thinking I messed it up and had gone live
and everything.
So I watched it again and I thought, and I prayed over it as like, Lord, I did, I, this
is very interesting.
I said, Lord, if there was something that I wasn't doing right.
In other words, if I was just that way to word it, cause that's not how I told it to
him.
But it's like, Lord, if I was offering out of my soul and not, not operating out of my
spirit.
Cause remember, I'm still learning this.
I'm still understanding how to operate my soul and my spirit and what it, and how to
do it and how to recognize it and whatever.
So I was doing, I prayed to the Lord while I was watching and I said, God, I said, and,
and it wasn't just God I was talking to, I was talking as a son of God to basically the
powers that be.
In other words, there's a lot of beings that are outside of just God and angels and all
of that.
And I was, and I was talking, I was like, okay, I'm a son of God and I'm saying that
I want the, the, the, um, I want the video to, and this is something I've already recorded.
I'm not in the middle of it.
It's something I've already recorded.
And I told him, I want you to fix it in real time, whatever it is that I messed up on.
However, it is that, uh, the way that I explained it was probably confusing, um, it probably
that the ideas probably didn't come across to people and whatever.
And I'm, and I'm, I'm telling you, I want you to, I want you to fix it and smooth it
in real time.
And by real time, I meant the fact that I'm watching it right now.
I've already, it's in the past, remember it's already recorded and I'm telling you, I watched
the whole thing.
I was like, oh my word, that looked exactly the way I should have, I should have taught
it.
And I was in the middle of it and afterwards I'm like constantly second guessing myself
thinking, I don't know that I'm doing this right.
So anyway, that, that's just another point that I'm trying to make.
Uh, I mean, it's another example of the point that I'm trying to make it when you're in
the middle of it, you don't even feel like you know what you're doing.
And so just understand that this is, it's just all part of the journey.
And, uh, so don't be concerned that, well, I don't know how my business should look.
I don't know what it is I'm supposed to do.
Just start sensing things in the spirit and then trying them and just like, okay, let's
try this and let's try that.
I will tell you that, um, I don't know the majority of things that I, I don't know about
the majority.
How did, how would I describe this?
A lot of the things that I have changed, well, yeah, in fact, yeah.
Anything that I've added new, the majority of it, you know, in order to enhance the program,
the majority of that has benefited, but anything that I doubted about how I had done it and
I tried to redo it, bond, I thought, and here was my problem.
I doubted myself.
I doubted the fact that what I had to offer in my contribution was good enough.
And I thought I need to work harder to do better.
We can see hindsight 2020 how bad that, but when we're in the middle of it, we think,
yeah, you know, surely I go, I was just flying by the seat of my pants and now I need to,
and I know better than that, you know, I'm 36 years old, have been in a corporate environment.
I know how to plan and I know how to prepare and I need to do better.
And it messed up.
It messed up point.
Go back to an old community and I had to take all the previous teachings that I did and just, I almost threw them out completely. And then I heard a few people tell me, you know, how beneficial that they were
Because I brought up new points that I hadn't brought out.
So I added. I was like, fine, I'll keep them as additional teachings for people to watch it. They want to go more in depth, but the core teachings. The one I would just do live at 10 o'clock at night.
This is this type of thing where I thought that I'd messed up and that I need to do it better next time. I know. I don't know how many like I would say nine out of
I'm trying to get numbers to give you an idea, but basically it has all worked.
All of it has been perfectly fine. And it's the fact that I thought that it wasn't fine that and I tried to fix it, but it keeps messing it up. So I'm continuing to learn
How to operate out of my spirit instead of my soul and what it feels like in the minute. So I can learn how to shift and and learning how to
Anyway, just learning how to how to flow in business and and understand that I don't have that being in a place where
Your biz where things are going right in your business doesn't mean that things have to feel rock solid underneath you as in you're trusting something outside of the Lord. It's the Lord that needs to feel
That you need to feel safe and secure with not that you have this foundation outside of the Lord on which you're standing makes you feel okay well I'm safe. That's trusting in something outside of God and I don't know if that makes sense, the way that I worded it. But it just so don't be worried that you're like, I just don't know how to
You know, I don't know how to do the business. I don't, I don't know what it needs to look like. Unless God gives you a vision, you can pray and asking for one, but unless God just gives you a vision of what it's supposed to look like
You might just want you to just the whole point of it is to journey with it. It's not that your business is supposed to look a particular way. That's not the point. That's not God's point. God's point is, hey, let's take a journey together.
God's point is, hey, let's take a journey together. Let's do this. Let's do this. Let's do this and it's a mindset shift.
Because right what we tend to think of is know the whole point is it has to look good. The whole point is that it has to look smooth. The whole point is that it has to
Manifest an X, Y, and Z way and I'm supposed to make a profit and that I look to everybody else myself like have it all together.
That is not the point of any of it. The point of it is you and the Father journeying together in various ways in your life in your business is one of the ways in which you're turning together that the whole point is the traveling. It's not that it's not the
It's not a result that you're going for, like, okay, well, I should have a Facebook group that looks like this and then operate like this and everybody likes that. That's not
It's making the decisions within is that is that helpful or was it just
No, that's helpful.
Yeah, I just still yeah I just don't know. I mean,
Yeah, I just feel like we live in in such a society that
It's kind of just expected for all these moms, you know, to be these boss babes and these
All that stuff. And I am so not like I am so not a hustle lady. I all but I still
I don't know. I just my whole business journey is just
One confusing loop after another. And I feel like it started out as it basically like if I could sum it up is why I started it was to prove to myself that I could
And that was pretty much the only reason, but it's proven to actually provide finances for us and to provide, you know, lots of free things because all my stuff gets paid for.
And well, I'm just like, well, I could really push this and make a lot of money and then we could move soon, you know, and I'm like,
It's just, it's very stressful. You can probably tell just by how I'm talking about it. It's very stressful. Yeah. And I'm like, adding another baby. I'm just like, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna. I wanted to somehow
Have peace about it before adding another baby, but yeah, I don't know.
You know how to get the answers you're looking for.
And I have no idea. Please tell me.
Is is to real release all of that.
that stress and that anxiety. So again, we always come back to this. It's released the
fact that I shouldn't be feeling like this. I should know the answer. I should know what
it is that, um, whether or not I should do a business. I should know what it is, um,
you know, how it's supposed to look. I should know at least the next step. I shouldn't have
an idea. I should be able to be creative enough to let the juices flow. I should be more motivated.
I should be more trusting. I should be more, just let go of any of the shits. Um, I should
be resting in God. I should let go of all of the shits. So just, just let go, just,
just release. And then, and then all of a sudden things, things will start coming. You'll
start, uh, you'll start getting the answers about whether or not, and you'll start being
able to feel the father's heart. You'll start being able to feel your own heart and what
it is that, that each of you desires and what the two of you desire together. Um, and
what it is that he wants, what it is that, uh, uh, et cetera. And then, and then more
and more things will come to light, but they can't come to light when we're, when we're,
when we're stressed and we're, because we're creating our own, we're creating our own enemy.
We are creating the very thing that is prohibiting the answers that we're seeking to come to
us. We can't hear them. It's not that God hasn't given them to us and has enabled us
to be able to see them and hear them because we're flowing in his spirit. So he's not hiding
them. He's not hiding them for us and playing with it. He's not hiding them from us and
saying, okay, I want you to come play hide and seek. No, he's just, just, just let go.
He said, because you're already in me. I want to reveal all of myself to you. The only thing
standing between you and me is the resistance that that is that you're building up. So if
you let the resistance go, you'll be able to see everything. So just let everything go.
Just like, Oh, just let go of the resistance. Don't try to believe something different than
you're believing. Just let go of the resistance that you should believe be believing something
different. Yeah, that makes sense. That sounds good to me. I'll gladly let it go.
Oh man. Oh, business and me just don't jive. We never have, but it's fun every now and then
it's a lot of fun. And then every now and then it's super stressful and I want to rip all my
hair out and then it's just a vicious cycle, but yeah. Yeah. We get stressed when we believe that
there's obligations, when we believe that there's some way in which we're not measuring.
There's some way that we should have done something different or we should have known
something and it didn't work out and we could have avoided it. And you know, we tell it that's
when all of a sudden things get stressful or someone who said something or someone who did
something. And also now I'm in this situation that I didn't want to be in. Well, I mean,
the wind and the waves don't matter as if they can't affect us. It doesn't matter what it is
that they do. If it can't affect us anyway. Again, I know I keep bringing this up. Jesus
left in the boat and the wind and the waves are buffeting the boat. It said that water came up.
I don't remember which gospel it pointed this out in. It said the waves came up over the boat
and water came into the boat. It was splashing on Jesus while he was sleeping.
And Jesus didn't feel a need to fix anything. It didn't matter what it was doing. His environment
did not determine his safety. So it doesn't matter what people do or say or how they attack
or whatever. What matters is what it is that what makes it matter is if we determine that it will
affect us. If we give meaning to it in our life, it means that we're receiving a lie about ourselves.
And when we receive a lie, that builds up resistance. It's creating that resistance.
And so we have to not receive those lies. We have to leave ourselves to be open to the Lord.
And then it leaves us completely free internally and unaffected by life around us. Remember,
Jesus didn't come to politically save people from the oppression of Rome. That was an outside
environmental situation that they all had to deal with, including Jesus. Because if Jesus was
walking along the road, you know, all over Israel, you know that
it came upon Roman soldiers who were, you know,
who were wanting to,
who were always trying to intimidate the Jews
and like roadblocks and this, that, and the other.
Well, you know, Jesus was in Israel during this time.
He experienced the outward wind and waves
and environment of an oppressive political system.
You know, people are trying to do things and say things
and treat him particular ways, including the disciples.
And Jesus is just like, well, I'm free inside,
so it doesn't matter what you do.
And then when the Jews even wanted,
in Nazareth, wanted to throw him over the cliff,
Jesus was like, yeah, but you can't.
You can't if I don't allow you to.
I mean, Jesus wasn't operating as a God.
He was operating as man.
So it's because he gave up his divinity,
being able to operate out of his divinity.
He was still God, but he gave up operating out of it
because he did it so that we could understand
how we could act and how we could operate in the earth.
And if he operated as God, well, then how would we expect,
you know, to be able to use that as,
to have that as an example?
So he was just like, hey, y'all can do whatever,
but I'm free inside.
And so anyway, I'm just saying all of these things,
you know, for you to think about and take forward.
You know, that whatever it is that hurt you before
is no longer holds a threat.
It doesn't mean it won't happen.
It means it's no longer a threat
and it can't hurt you anymore.
So anyway, and the Lord is continuing to prove that to me
in my own business, because I had,
I had, I mean, almost the word business made me sick
because I've been through so much.
I've been through a lawsuit.
It was terribly unjustified lawsuit.
Oh, my words, horrible.
I mean, it was like something that you'd see in a movie.
It was so bad, it was so bad.
And I went to court, it was awful.
And thankfully, you know, the Lord saved us from it
and it was all fine.
But I mean, we've already been through that.
I've been through, oh my goodness, all kinds of things.
And in corporate America and in mom and pop shops
and had, was treated terribly by a client
who saw women as nothing but a,
like some kind of like, what would you call it?
Like sexual property.
And he did it publicly in front of other people.
I mean, I was never touched.
I mean, it wasn't that, but it was like,
ooh, it's the interaction.
It was so bad that my boss told me, he said,
Ashley, don't ever go to that client's office alone
without me.
Thank goodness.
Yeah, it was just very, very extreme.
So I just, and it didn't matter
even if my boss was present, this guy would,
it didn't matter how many people were in the room,
this guy would just do terrible things.
So I've just been all kinds of things,
all kinds of situations.
So I just like, Lord, I want nothing whatsoever
to do with business.
And God is just, he's like, no, Ashley,
what used to hurt you can't hurt you anymore
because you're free inside.
And back then you weren't free.
You didn't, you were free,
but you didn't know you were free.
The veil was already torn, but you just didn't recognize it.
He said, now you recognize it
and you're choosing to operate out of your spirit.
So it doesn't mean that things won't happen.
It means that they can't hurt you anymore.
They can't affect you because they can't hurt you
if you don't receive them.
You don't receive those lies, lies.
So, and then now if we receive those lies accidentally,
that habit, we can, we can immediately shift out of them.
So even if we were to receive it,
so it's not like, oh, my word, I received it again.
Now I gotta go through the whole school process.
No, you simply can't stop it.
So anyway, just all this encouragement.
I know it's a journey, but just wanted to mention,
you know, hope and encouragement of places you can go.
That's good.
Yeah, I feel like, yeah, I feel like, I mean,
I know that once I just really sit and give it up
to the Lord, then I know he'll come through for me.
So I'm sure I'll have something new to talk to you
about next week or whenever we talk again
about how the Lord came through for my business
and everything is well.
Yeah, yeah, and it's all about you anyway,
not about the business.
That's what matters to him.
So, and he just wants you to manifest your spirit
because he knows that how much he,
how amazing and full that your spirit is
that others need what it is that you have.
What you're discovering with the Lord
is how he wants that spirit expressed
to be able to reach other people.
Is it through a business?
And if so, which business is it through?
And once you know that,
well then how does the Lord want you to,
in which ways does he want you,
does he want to facilitate the flow of your spirit
through that business to touch other people?
But he's still responsible for the results.
He's not holding you responsible for how people respond
and whether or not people even receive you.
But it's all about you and him, your relationship,
not about the business.
So you don't have to worry.
It's not like this thing that God's like holding over you,
like you better get this right.
That's not what it's about at all.
That's encouraging to hear because it has just been,
it has been exhausting.
You mean my business?
Oh my word.
So all you have to do is just let it go now and it'll come.
Sounds good to me.
That's really, whatever you're trying, stop.
Just keep telling yourself, just stop.
Just let it go.
So is there anything else you wanted to cover before we go?
I don't think so.
I can't think of anything else.
Boy, I'm glad you said you wanted to talk
because I love visiting with you.
Yeah, it was high time, thank goodness.
It is high time to talk to you again.
I was like, I don't know what we're gonna talk about,
but we'll just hop on and talk.
Yes, I'm glad.
Now, by the way, you said that you're on Marco Polo.
What's your, how can I find you?
Is it your email address or your phone number?
Is it my email?
I don't even know.
Is that how I usually find people?
Well, you can do it one of two.
You can do it your phone number or your email
or you do both on Marco Polo.
I have both, so I'm wondering what you have.
Okay, I think that mine is my cell phone number
and that one is 717-201-2400.
Is 717, is that Montana or Pennsylvania?
That's Pennsylvania.
Okay, what is Montana?
Montana is 406.
436?
406.
406, okay.
Yeah.
Sounds familiar, okay.
Yeah, ours in the DFQ,
we have a lot here in DFW,
but one of them is 817.
There's 817, that's more,
I think that's more Fort Worth.
And then there's 214, that's Dallas.
And there's lots of others.
There's 913, that's East Texas.
There's a lot in that area.
Wow.
Because you know it's Texas, right?
Yeah.
Like Montana.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, lots of, probably more people in Texas.
Yeah.
True.
How many people are in Montana, do you know?
I have no idea.
Not very many.
Yeah, it's not.
Well, I know.
Yeah, I was gonna say,
I was gonna say that they have lots of land and all that.
Yeah.
Well, it's good to see what you do.
Yeah, same to you.
One more thing I was wondering,
do you and Priscilla live in the same town?
No, we live in different towns,
but just like 15 minutes apart.
Oh, okay, so you do.
Okay.
Yeah, we live like in the same county.
Yeah.
We're like at least 20 minutes south of me.
Okay.
Well, that's not far.
I mean, that's really close.
Yeah.
I mean, I travel, my parents and I
live in the same metroplex,
and it takes me an hour to get to their house.
Wow.
And that's not even getting across the metroplex.
To get across the metroplex, for me,
is like an hour and a half drive.
This is on highways that go between 70 and 75 miles an hour.
Wow.
It's huge.
It's really huge.
Crazy.
I think that DFW is like the size of Rhode Island.
I think it's just huge.
Wow.
It's just huge.
Wow.
But yeah, I was asking that,
and then I was wondering,
how did y'all end up in the same place
if you were from Montana?
I got married and moved back here,
and my brother lived back here.
See, we had, in 2011,
it was just my brother and my sister were married.
My brother lived in Lancaster,
and then my sister lived like two and a half hours
north of here.
But then us three girls moved out with mom and dad.
Then Loretta got married.
My sister that's older than Priscilla yet,
she got married and moved back here.
And then Priscilla married and stayed out there,
and then I got married and moved back here.
So it was just Arnold and Priscilla
and my mom and dad out there.
And then dad was so bad with depression and suicidal
that after his attempt at suicide,
they actually ended up moving back that fall.
Cause he was, I mean,
it wasn't safe for them to be by themselves.
And like Arnold and Priscilla
had to be around all the time,
and they were just like wired.
even out there. So I'm not even sure exactly why or what made Arnold and Priscilla move back, but
they've just packed up and left with mom and dad and moved them back. And then they have been here
ever since. So I don't know if they'll stay or if they'll move back to Montana. It wouldn't surprise
me if they would end up back in Montana yet, because Arnold's family's still all out there.
But they moved out in 2006. So it's been four years now that they moved back. So it's really
this has been since they moved back. It's like the first time that we've all been together since
my brother got married in 2008. So it's been a lot of fun all being together,
because I had lived back here for a couple years before my mom and dad moved back. So we were kind
of all a little bit spread across the globe. But now we are all within two and a half hours of each
other. So my brother and my sisters, my parents live here in Lancaster. And then I have one
sister that lives up like two hours north of here, two and a half hours. So yeah, we are all
we can all get together now for family gatherings and all the fun. Nice. Yeah.
And so you're in Lancaster. So I didn't know. So were you near Cheryl? Do you know her?
We are about 20 or 25 minutes from Cheryl. Yeah. And how did you join Young Living with her?
I met her at a coffee shop and got the colon cleanse. I didn't even know Young Living
was like, I had no idea what Young Living was. I didn't know that they sold oils.
I didn't know that they were like multilevel marketing. I just signed up and I didn't even
know what I was doing. All of a sudden I realized what happened. And I was like, Oh,
I guess this is a multilevel marketing company. Like I had no idea. I was so ignorant to what
I was doing. But I wanted the colon cleanse. And so I ended up with just the basic kit,
the colon cleanse and stuff. Because I kept seeing her posts on Facebook. And I was like,
look, I have no idea. I don't understand all this signup stuff. And I was like,
how about we just meet at the coffee shop and then you can help walk me through it. So
that is how that worked out. And we met down in Strasburg just a couple minutes from her house.
Because we had years and years and years ago, her sister Becky lives in Richfield,
which was only about half an hour from where we lived in Mifflintown before we moved to Montana.
And so she taught me piano for a year and a half. Yeah. And we randomly just got to know her.
And then we went skiing together with her and Cheryl and Jamie. I think that was it. Me and
Priscilla. And then we've got friends on Facebook and just like stayed friends on Facebook. I never
even was in contact with her at all until I kept seeing these posts about this colon cleanse. And
I was like, super sick at the time. I was like, Hey, I'm going to give it a try. So that's how we
got reconnected. Hey, well, I was an RA with Becky at PCC. So I knew Cheryl first because she was the
first person I met, you know, at a class, but then I became an RA a year and a half later
with her, with her sister Becky. So I know, but Becky, I think as a year older than I am,
I think, or I don't think she's a year older than I am anyway. So, okay. So I was wondering
making the connection. So, and then if y'all were, y'all were close together.
When, sometime when I get up there, the reason I was wondering, I was like, okay, so we do this
all together so I can know, I can't, how many people I can like, you know, visit at one time.
Have you been up East recently, or do you make trips up here every so often or?
No, the last time I was up there, I believe was when my roommate at Laturno, who's from
Pennsylvania, got married in Pennsylvania. And I don't even remember where it was. It wasn't
that far from Pittsburgh, but it was, you know, it, but it was, and it was, oh my word, it was
just, it was gorgeous area, not Pittsburgh, but like outside Pittsburgh. I don't remember why we
drove through Pittsburgh, maybe for the airport. But anyway, the, I don't know if she was like 30
minutes, an hour from Pittsburgh. And it was just, it was just gorgeous. Never been to, been up there
before. And that was in the summer of 2006. So that's the last time I was at East and I hadn't
realized that. Yeah. Oh, well, that would be great. That would be so much fun to be able to actually
meet you in person. I saw you and Amy at the rodeo and I was like, oh, I'm just a little jealous that
she'd like to see you and like actually be with you and.
It's so much fun to actually meet you in person.
Yes, well, I'm down to determine that it will happen. So I'm just checking around me to see where people are because I'd like to go meet, you know, some of the clients.
That I've never gotten to meet and then I have all kinds of friends and family that are scattered all over the United States and I go meet them.
Yeah.
Anyway,
I won't hold you any longer.
Just ask the questions that need to ask you. So
Well, it was great talking to you again. I'm going to go hop in the shower.
The afternoon relaxing. I feel like I'm about ready to fall asleep.
Well, I hope that you have a
Have a good shower and good nap. If you're able to get one in
Yeah, thanks. Thank you. I hope so, too. Okay, well, it was great talking to you again.
Good afternoon.
Thank you to buy