Okay.
Hello.
Good morning.
So the, the, I don't know, I was having issues with the internet and then apparently I had two meetings for you. And so I was trying to figure out which one was the most recent one.
Yeah.
So how did you send me a new link.
Yeah, yeah. These ones. Yes. Yeah.
See you too. How are you.
I'm doing all right. Yeah, so it's been two weeks. Yes, yes it has. So, is it going so far have you watched the teachings that were up were you able to like watch them it's like, I guess the, the rest, the last that gets that rest group that
half that and we did last Sunday. I didn't know if you got a chance to watch that replay.
I watched the first one but there came one afterwards to right.
Yeah, that was.
That was Sunday night and I'm trying to remember if I had that one up. I think I do. I think I posted it, but it was just this past Sunday so you may not have had a chance to watch it no I haven't had the chance to watch that but I watched the teaching of the soul
episode eight and it took me actually quite a while I think it's been a pretty busy week.
And so I've, and I've had, I've had taken chunks in at a time because there was just so many things and also questions came up but I watched that one.
And I think
I don't know I've just been kind of a bit overwhelmed with a lot of things and haven't felt like I've been able to take in.
Like, compared to like I've been busy and also haven't been able to take in everything so like I'm watching, listening to it. And then after 10 minutes I'm like I need a break like what is she saying.
Like I'm in a state of overwhelmedness so I can't really take in all of it. Yeah. And then, and since I kind of don't like to just listen to listen, then I rather want to spend more time on little.
Yeah, it's good.
So that's I think, well, there has been things that's been really good.
I had a situation in the classroom in ninth grade on Monday like yesterday, where I felt like I was about to lose control and I was stressing out about the pupils and I felt that some of them were being impolite and just saying things that you kind
of like it hits me in that, like, you feel like you're being disrespectful and they're kind of disguising it as jokes or whatever.
But what they're really doing is disrespecting you. And I didn't know how to handle it and it kind of hit me. And then I realized, oh my gosh, I can choose to walk and rest in this I can actually have rest right now, even if they're saying these things, and it feels hurtful.
And, and usually what I've done in the situation is that I put strict boundaries and rules, and for them and for me this is okay this is not okay. But then I kind of felt going into being in rest that, well, that was kind of your old way of handling things and, of course, it's good to set boundaries sometimes and sometimes you have to.
Yeah, but I felt more like, well, maybe I just need to see them more as Christ do and find another way to love them.
And since I've been watching, I've been spending like a whole week on watching this one. Yeah. Yeah, like I spent several days on it by just watching 10 minutes, 20 minutes at a time of your teaching, because I think it was one hour 45 minutes.
And I've been thinking a lot about it. So and also your story there when you're with your workers, and you're being verbally abused.
They are like, really coming directly a little bit directly a little bit indirectly at me.
And I could set boundaries and say, that's enough.
I'm going to talk to your teacher
or I'm going to discipline you
or I'm going to do this and this.
Because I have the authority as a teacher to do that.
But I just thought that maybe I can do something else,
something new and kind of just see who Christ sees them
to be because of course, a lot of it's from them
is coming from wounds and reacting out of,
and if I set boundaries and lay down the law,
I might get it better in the classroom
but they're not going to change necessarily.
And we might not connect if they have like a deeper need
or if they're reacting out of wounds.
So what I did was that I felt like
I was able to walk in rest.
It was, you could feel, I felt stressed
but I also felt partly in rest, partly in stress.
And I just handled the situation differently.
I just heard them out and tried to see them
and affirm them without putting down the law.
And afterwards I felt that that was the right decision.
And it's kind of, I think I'm,
and I don't know where this is going to lead to
because it will see, it will,
I will see how it plays out in the future.
But I just thought it was an eye opener to me
that I can deal with things in a different way maybe.
And that even if I am to the point
of being verbally abused, this wasn't verbal abuse
but it was more like subtle attacks.
I don't have to be afraid.
And I don't have to protect my soul
because I am protected already.
I don't have to, yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know if that makes sense.
Oh yeah, that's perfect.
That's exactly right.
I'm so excited for you.
So I would just even, yeah,
just like I can do this in a different way
and maybe I will see more fruit
in the relationship with the pupils and in them
than if I'm saying, that's enough, I've had it.
I'm going to call your parents.
I'm going to do this.
I'm going to do that.
And I thought about it like that I often,
that what I've done that a lot in the past
and I think it is to put boundaries and to protect my soul
because I feel unprotected.
That's it.
Yeah, I feel threatened and unprotected
and actually in a way also by God
because why isn't he protecting me in the situation?
So then I myself have to protect my own soul.
But what I realized on Monday is like, I am protected.
I can be in rest and I can just love them and be gentle.
And I was really inspired by your story.
That's wonderful, I'm so excited for you.
You can go through that for months.
Then I can try something new.
Then I can try to handle the situation differently
from a place of rest.
What were you saying about months?
Now you said that you were going through
verbal abuse for months.
Oh that, yes.
In your story?
Correct, yeah.
Like you were being harassed by your boss
or like your peer?
Yeah.
Yeah, and that really inspired me to think that
and what you said about children,
they might not have a choice.
They can't choose a different set of parents,
but that doesn't mean that God can't protect them.
They can be in rest, even if the parents are abusive.
So God must have some way of protecting us
in extreme situations and not necessarily taking us out
or us like calling in HR or the principal or parents.
So then I just thought, oh, I'm gonna try this out.
Yeah.
Well, great.
Well, I don't know if I've mentioned this to you or not,
but even before God began to teach me about rest in business,
he taught me how to see people as he sees them
and interact with them in a different way
when I had students.
So it was actually in the classroom first, so to speak.
Now I didn't have lots of kids,
but I would teach kids one at a time
because I was a private tutor for rich kids
who were kicked out of their schools
and then their parents were trying to find an alternative.
And so they would hire the company that I worked for.
And I had one main student,
and then I had another one that I kind of like helped
with certain sessions.
And then the rest of the time in the evenings, I would have these other students that would
come in after school, and I would just tutor them in like specific areas, but anyway, I
had to learn to interact with, God just began to show me how to help a student change by
actually seeing them for who it is that they were, not seeing them in like all their brokenness
and all their fear and all their wounds that was causing them to act the way that they
were, and how to get them to basically rise to my expectations.
In other words, what it is that I knew that they could do and who it is that I knew it
is that they were, and the fact that I was investing in that, not something that I wanted
them to be, but who are they, in other words, what can they do, what, I don't know, and
how can I encourage them to, I don't know, I don't want to say work harder, but we'll
use that, work harder to actually operate in, I'm sorry, I'm having a hard time getting
my words this morning, I guess, but how to get them to put in effort and do what they're
actually capable of doing, performing at the level that they're capable of performing at,
that's what I'm trying to say, so anyway, I know what you mean about working with students,
in other words, working with children who are much younger than you, and how do you
work with them if they're not adults, and so I love the fact that you decided to try
a different approach, also, I did that with the other people in that project, you remember
the project I was telling, I used as an example of where I was being verbally abused by that
peer, well, there were about 45 people in that project, and they didn't respect me,
so I had to, especially because of the things that he was saying, and the way he was treating
me was just kind of like ruining their view of me, even though they liked me as a person,
they just didn't respect me, and they didn't feel that their jobs were safe with me, in
other words, that I was going to do a good enough job in leading the project that they
were going to have, that they were going to keep having the job that would allow them
to stay in America, they didn't feel like I was a good leader, and that they could entrust
the success of the project to me, and so the Lord walked me through how to get more,
how to gain their respect, and it was through something similar to what it is you're doing
with the students, and that's how I actually gained their respect, and it's the opposite
of what the world says to do in order to gain respect, the world says, no, you need boundaries,
you need this, you need that, and while it is true that there is something about boundaries,
I believe that boundaries are very different than what we are taught that boundaries are,
boundaries were taught our means of protecting ourselves from other people, like, hey, you're
not allowed to do this, or I'm going to keep myself safe from all of these other people's
actions or their interactions with me, and I see boundaries as very different, and my husband was
actually, but I've struggled to phrase it, and I was like, how would you actually phrase what it is
that, how I approach boundaries, because I just didn't feel that that was the way that Jesus would
do it, that Jesus was just, that Jesus had boundaries, and he was trying to protect himself
from everybody else, and it's like, that doesn't sound like Jesus, that's not what I saw in the
gospel either, that God, you know, God wasn't afraid of other people, so, and he didn't have
to, like, protect himself, and the way that I used to describe it to people, as I would say,
and I was telling my friend this, I said, I said, you know, about, probably about two years ago,
I was saying, well, you know, I believe very differently about boundaries, I don't believe
that Jesus had boundaries, and he corrected me, and he's like, oh, no, he said, I completely
disagree, I think Jesus did have boundaries, and I'm going, I don't see that in scripture,
but then, finally, what I realized is that, is that, yes, Jesus did have boundaries, but the
boundaries were not created in order to protect him from other people, the boundaries were what
my husband's friend.
described as, as this is what I am willing to do. And this is
what I'm not willing to do. In other words, it comes from this
perspective from this inside out perspective, instead of like
protecting yourself, like coming in. It's more of like, no me
living on the offensive in life. In other words, me creating my
life. What do I what am I willing to do? And how am I
willing to interact with so and so? And what am I not willing to
do? So it's it's a it's a from it's so the boundary is a very
healthy is from the is drawn from a very healthy perspective.
Sorry, let me check and make sure my Yeah, okay, I wanted to
make sure my my battery was good on my computer. And it wasn't
gonna like, suddenly, and tell me that it need me to plug it
in. And so so I do believe that boundaries are good. But I
believe that the boundaries are from a place where you already
know, you're not threatened. She know, you're not threatened. How
do you want to live life? You create the life that you want to
live, as opposed to what is everyone else doing? And how do
I need to react? Yeah, it's a very reactive, responsive way to
life. And it's very exhausting. Because then you feel like you
always have to be you always have to be vigilant. And, and
be ready for anything that can be ready to respond to anything
that that that comes up. And you have to and you're basically it
makes you feel very out of control of your life. It makes
you feel like a victim. So instead, I believe that
boundaries are a bit are are created very naturally, from how
we desire to from the life that we desire to create for
ourselves, like, this is what I am willing to do in my life. And
this is what I'm not willing to do, as opposed to, oh, I don't,
I want to keep them from doing that to me. And I'm going to
protect myself from being in that situation. Instead, it's
like, no, what do I want to do? And then in the mat naturally
creates boundaries. And so I thought that my the way that my
husband's friend worded that was, was really was really good.
Because he told Ed, he said, you know, I used to think of
boundaries as my way of protecting myself against other
people. And he said, and I switched my the way that I
approach things more from no, I know, he didn't use this word,
but like, I'm not threatened. So how do I as a very strong
individual, in other words, I own my own life. And owning my
own life, how do I want to interact? What do I want in my
life? And what do I not want in my life? And then if you're in
rest, you are protected. Yeah, you are protected in Jesus.
Correct. So you don't have to protect yourself. And you don't
have to feel threatened. Correct, as he provides and
protects you. Correct. So it's just like, the whole start is
different. If you're already protected, then why would you
need boundaries, then? Yeah, but you would still need to find out
what you want to do and what you don't want to do. Exactly. You
don't have to. Yeah, because they're like the protection also
can becomes paralyzing. And like you say, very defensive. Yeah.
So I mean, I've even I've thought that too. It's
interesting. I've thought about that. I've, I've been wondering,
is boundaries really what I've been taught it to be? I've been
thinking, so that's interesting that it's coming up now. Yeah,
well, I started to ask questions about it. And thinking, when I
don't, because when I was in the classroom yesterday, I, when
they said those things, I felt unprotected. Because I felt
threatened. But then what I realized is like, but I can have
rest. And then I'm actually protected. And what am I going
to do if I'm actually protected, then I don't have to protect
myself and say, that's enough. You've crossed the boundary. I
don't have to do that at all. Yeah, it was like, Oh, my gosh,
I will react differently if I realize I'm already protected.
Correct. And then the discipline or, you know, of, you know,
because it's different being a teacher than it is being in
other situations, like say, for instance, interacting with your
mom, or whatever, they're in adults, you don't have authority
over them, you know, but for a kid, it's a bit different in a
not not just children. But when you are the authority figure,
there are particular discipline things that you're, that you are
in the place to and in the position to, to create, but
discipline.
plan then doesn't come from feeling threatened, which creates, which if we feel that way,
if the discipline comes from feeling threatened, then we're very angry. Then we have a tendency
to blame it on the child and make the child feel really bad for like, and that's how we
have created our own inferiority complexes in life, because we felt that we were always
blamed for somebody else feeling threatened by us as children or, you know, whatever.
So we don't want to do that to them. So discipline then comes from the perspective of, okay,
me not feeling threatened. What is my relationship with this child? What's my responsibility
to this child? It's to help this child. So what does this child need? And how can I bring
the kingdom into this classroom? In other words, how do I bring order instead of allowing
chaos to reign or whatever? It doesn't mean that chaos can't reign sometimes, you know,
sometimes it is, it's messy to walk with people through life, let alone children. It's
just messy. Things aren't clean. They're not always orderly. And you just kind of let it
be sometimes, but I'm talking about like when you do implement discipline, once you're threatened,
it comes from a different place. It comes from the place of you as spirit governing
your aspect of creation, which is that classroom and those children's and those children's souls
in order to give them a, an environment that's conducive to learning an environment that helps
them or that kind of calms their soul down, or it helps guide their soul and teach them
in the fact that they don't know that they're having a hard time growing up and learning how
to live life and, and all this stuff. And so it's messy. And then they're, they feel afraid
So anyway, there is a place for discipline, but it has to come from a place in order to be
healthy for the child. It actually, and to actually create something good in that child's
life, it needs to come from where we're in a place of rest. So we can give them spirit as opposed to
our flesh because we're afraid or whatever. So that is whenever we do implement discipline,
it's from that it's from that healthy place, because it's not from the place where the teacher
feels threatened, but from the place where the teacher doesn't feel threatened. And they're just
implementing things based on what is in bringing in the kingdom, the order of the kingdom and
whatever, and and helping that child, like what is good for that child. So anyway, it's so when
you do things from a place of rest and you no longer feel threatened, the boundaries and the
whole discipline thing still, still is something that is needed, but it's from a totally different
place. It's not from fear. And so therefore there's therefore there's not that damage
that can be created in other people's lives or in your relationship with other people
that is when we have, when we operate out of fear and anger and whatever. So anyway,
I'm really excited for you because it's really, really hard to be where it is that you are.
It is really, really hard when you are transitioning from one mode of operation to another, and you're
used to trying to control a particular outcome. And so now that you're trying, and so you know
how to do things this way in order to try to get an outcome. Okay, well, you come down harder
and you implement all of these boundaries and you do that. So now trying to do a different
mode of operation is challenging because you're leaving the outcome up to God. And then you feel
out of control. Like, oh my word, are the kids going to just get worse? Are they, you know,
is this as the situation for me going to get worse is, you know, and so, but this is, this is faith.
This is, this is leaving the results up to God. Anyway, sorry, my, my washer stopped and it keeps
beeping. Let me stop the beep. I'll just turn it off real quick.
Sorry that I don't want that. No, no, no, no. Go ahead. What you're saying, because it's not
like you can stop disciplining the child and just like, now we're going to have chaos in the
classroom. So that's not what God means. So it's not like you can go to the other extreme.
But you have to, what is the spirit saying? And it's probably different at different times. So
what I did say to one of the kids was like, when you say that, maybe it affects me. Maybe if you
word it in a different way, that's kind of also setting, it's not a boundary, but it's kind of
disciplining saying what you're not saying is okay. It's not a boundary.
not okay, or it would be more helpful
if you worded this in that way.
So maybe even, so I don't know if that is what it is,
but it is kind of disciplining them
and saying that I expect more of them
or I think that they can change,
or I think they can react in a different way.
And like coming with suggestion,
maybe if you worded in this way, it will be more helpful
or, and I will understand it more
or it will be a better communication for us.
Yeah.
So I think, I'm just thinking that it will be
like a learning process because it's not
like you're totally letting go of,
well, you are letting go of control
because you're giving it to God,
but they do need discipline
and they do need to know what's okay and what's not okay.
Yeah.
So it's, it will be interesting to see.
Yeah.
I'm excited for you.
Yeah.
Really excited.
And children respond, well, everyone does,
but just talking about children,
cause it's remarkable to watch how,
I don't know just how they can change so quickly,
but just because they're, they're just in states of,
they're just so flexible as, cause they're learning.
And they, it's interesting to,
to watch how quickly that children change and respond
when they realize that they and your love for them
are the object of why it is you're doing what you're doing.
And it's not you.
Cause if you feel like you've chosen you over them,
then they feel threatened.
But if they feel that they are being chosen over you
in this situation.
Yeah.
And feel loved, seen, significant, you know,
and there's nothing.
That's what I've started to pray these weeks
that I will have,
because I can tell that for some of them, I don't have love.
I get, and then I've been thinking,
I want to have God's love for them
and understand how he sees them.
And I'm just not there in my heart right now
because I don't have a lot of motivation.
So then I thought, okay,
so the profession itself is not motivating me right now
because of many things that I thought I would be
in a different place in my life.
And then I ended up here and it's okay,
but I'm just not motivated.
But then I thought, God, I just,
so I started to pray that God would change my heart
and love them and see them how he sees them.
So I can be motivated by them,
maybe not of the things that I do right now, but by them.
So that will also,
and also that I see that it's a teaching situation for me,
that it's in a situation where I can learn to live and rest
in areas that I've been stressed in before.
Yeah.
And that it's actually,
so in that way,
it's just like a good teaching arena for me.
I can use anything,
even a job that right now is not very motivating.
He can use that to do something in my heart
and even also potentially change some of the pupils.
A couple of things.
One, God is, it's more important to the Lord.
In other words, he,
that's the word that I had come up with
while you were talking,
but it's more important to the Lord
that you live in freedom and have a quality of life
and have a particular quality of life
than to be in a particular place in life,
that maybe the world would view as, I don't know,
as where it is like some milestone or threshold
or standard that you should be at by X age.
We're all feel kind of like threatened by that,
because the world has all of these standards of like,
well, by such and such an age,
you should be so, you'd be such and such a place.
And, you know, when we compare ourselves to that standard,
well, then we can feel really bad about ourselves, right?
And so anyway, the thing is though,
that God is more interested in giving you a quality of life
than having you hit a specific milestone
because that'll make you happier.
So that's what he would desire to do
in where it is that you are right now.
It is giving you that quality,
is helping to, is freeing you from all of the ways
in which you've just felt in bondage.
In other words, he wants to give you.
or self back because you've been owned by, by feelings or fear or your
situations or other people or other people's expectations, and he wants
to give you back to you.
And so there's that.
Um, and, and, and so it's not that he doesn't have other stuff for you later.
It's just that, okay, well, where are you right now?
And then why hasn't God moved you onto something else?
Cause he's like, yeah, but I want to focus on giving, I want to give you
something more precious than a specific type of job or specific type of lifestyle.
I want to give you yourself where you get to own you again.
And then once you own you, then you and he can then move on into something else.
Sorry, I've got some allergies.
And so my eyes are kind of really itchy.
Um, but then y'all can then decide, okay, well, what kind of
a life do you want to create?
But you have to like own yourself first.
And so the Lord wants to get, I believe that the Lord wants to give you that.
The other thing is that you're, you aren't behind, you are where the Lord.
Um, you're where the Lord you're doing what it is that the Lord has pitched,
has created you for, which is developing relationship with him, not arriving
somewhere in your relationship with him, just developing the relationship.
And governing creation and the aspect of creation that you've been given to
govern has been multiple areas of life, but, uh, you know, it's your relationships
with other people and, um, they can be, they're greatly affected by you, you
know, your family and all of that.
And so you can bring by all of the pioneering work that you're doing in the
spirit, it can help and benefit all of them.
So not only that, but specifically talking about your classroom and your kids, you
are God's teaching you how to govern creation and bring spirit into the earth.
So it changes the earth.
So it changes these kids lives.
So that maybe puts them on a different direct trajectory.
It, it, it heals them, um, a lot of their wounds.
It helps them feel significant.
And that was what it is that I poured a lot into my students.
So what I chose, what I chose to focus on is making them feel not making them feel.
It's like, as if it was about the feelings, but helping them realize that
they are, that they are actually significant as human beings and that
they deserve my respect, that they deserve to be treated with dignity.
And I couldn't just tell them that I had to believe it and I
had to give it them of myself.
I couldn't just tell them, oh, you need to believe in yourself and you need to,
you need to, um, you know, oh, you're this and you're wonderful on whatever.
But if I didn't really think that they were wonderful and treat them like that,
then they don't believe me.
It's just all words.
I had to really, truly.
In order for, if we want something for someone else, we have
to change and give it to them.
And that's very, very, very hard, very hard, especially when they're
presenting the opposite to you.
They're presenting themselves as this broken person who isn't accomplishing
much and isn't doing their homework.
It isn't obeying.
All we can see is if we're, if we view it through the eyes of the flesh,
we're just like, oh my word, they're just rebellious on my word.
They're on their way to jail.
They are there on this trajectory.
And eventually they're going to prison or, you know, that if we don't, if we
don't see them through the eyes of the flesh and we see them through the eyes
of the spirit, and therefore we interact with them like that, that
literally will change them.
It will literally change their trajectory.
Yes.
They have a free will and they can choose whether how they want to respond to it.
But most of the time, most of the time, by my experience, because of how God
created, uh, you know, creation to respond to himself, they will change.
Now they'll all change in different measures and at different times.
Sometimes all it does is it plants a seed that you don't get to see the
harvest of for a while or whatever.
But I noticed a shocking change in my students, shocking.
In fact, people, people were, I don't know, people were just blown away at how,
at how the kids, you know, were changing and were being affected.
Um, and it was just because I let them because of how I interacted with them.
Well, then they began to see themselves the way that I saw them.
So the way that I talk to you, talk about it is like, if I want, if someone is
presenting themselves in their soul or in their body, then I, and if I want
something different for them, I want them to see who it is that they are in.
spirit, even if they're not believers, they still have a spirit, you know, God says that,
that, uh, you know, our spirit is dead until we've been, you know, reunited with Christ
and all of that, but they still have a spirit and that's still who God created them ultimately
to be and where their identity actually sits.
They're just don't know it.
And so they're not acting from that.
So anyway, they, if I want them to start acting like this and to see themselves like
that, but all they are seeing and acting like is this, I have to shift where I see myself
first.
I have to see myself as spirit.
And then once I'm in spirit, then I naturally very effortlessly see them as spirit.
That's how we can see who somebody else is, is we have to see ourselves there first.
We have to give it to ourselves first.
It's like putting on your own oxygen mask first.
So you put that on first, then you very effortlessly see the other person like that, because that's
where you've shifted up into that.
So that's not how you see the world.
You see the world through spirit because you now choose that that's who it is that you
are and you naturally see everybody else like that.
You see, and remember that the way that you shift up there is to believe that God is who
he says that he is to the degree he says he is that.
So who does he say?
He says, he's good.
He says, he's love.
He says, he's protector.
He's provider.
You don't have to do all those things for yourself.
You're not abandoned.
You're not alone and whatever.
And then you start seeing the rest of the world through the eyes of the fact God is
good.
God is love.
He's protector.
He's provider.
So it helps you see everybody else differently because you're seeing it through.
You're seeing the world through the lens of God's character, your creation and other people's
souls to the lens of God's character anyway.
So you view other people and you see them in their soul, then that's how you interact
with them.
Interact with them as if this is who they are, because that is who they are instead
of there's instead of the broken person that they're presenting themselves as they're being
rebellious.
They're being disrespectful.
They, they aren't doing their homework.
They're not applying themselves, you know, but if you always, that might, that's still
true.
You know, so we never want to deny reality.
So yeah, my kids did all that too.
They didn't do their own work sometimes and they, they didn't apply themselves or they
gave me attitude or they whatever, you know, they would do that.
But I consistently saw them like this.
And then because I saw them like that, it's, and that's who I, how I interacted with them
as I didn't interact with them like this because if I interact with them like this, it affirms
to them that this is who they are.
They're like, see, yeah, see that.
That is who I am.
That's how that, because they're, yeah, because children are always looking at the world.
Well, all people are, but just talking specifically about children, they look at other people,
specifically adults to kind of figure out based on how other people interact with them.
Who am I?
We have a bad tendency to identify ourselves according to how other people interact with
us.
And so kids are no different.
They're doing the same thing.
They're wondering, who does my teacher say that I am now?
It's all subconscious.
They don't know they're doing it, but that's, that's how they react.
So anyway, if you, if you interact with them like this, then, then eventually it's almost
like you call their, you know, how God gives us all like our, our own secret name between
he and us.
Remember, it says that in the Bible, it says, you know, I've given you a special name.
I think he said that he's written it on a stone, you know, and it's his own name for
us.
Uh, and nobody knows it, but he and us, um, and, and I don't remember where that is.
I don't remember if it's in revelation or what, but anyway, it says that God has given
us all our own special name.
So it's as if you're calling out this name and they, because you're, you're shining,
you're shining a flashlight on this part of themselves that was in the dark, that they
didn't know that they were, but when you shine your light on it, because it is them, it's
like they, they, they recognize it.
They recognize that that's them, but no one's ever shined.
They didn't know it was there, but once you show them it's there, they feel connected
to it.
They're like, well, she called my name.
No one's ever called my name before.
You know, it's, they feel they, it feels right, but no one's ever treated them like that.
No one's ever shown them that that's who they were, you know, or whatever anyway.
So when you shine your light on it and then they realize that that is a part of who it
is that they are over time, they start rising very naturally to that position.
And they start acting like that.
They start acting more out of who it is that they really are,
because that is who it is that you consistently
choose to interact with, is the spirit, not this.
Now, it doesn't mean that you're ignoring this.
I mean, you're fully aware that all this is going on.
But you interact with them from the perspective
that they really are good, because they're
made in the image of God.
So deep down, their identity reflects the goodness of God.
It reflects God's love.
It reflects God's provision, God's protection.
They're just not acting like it.
They just aren't getting to live the benefits
of God's inheritance, because they're not believing it.
So this is still going on.
But this is still true.
So anyway, and it will cause people to change.
And so that's how our interaction with them
can cause children or other people
to start changing their behavior.
We start seeing them as who it is that they really are.
But as is like what you put into practice,
the only way that you can do that
is if you do it to yourself first.
I'm not threatened.
I am who God says that I am.
We have to do it for ourselves first.
We have to put on our own oxygen mask first,
see us how God sees us.
Then we can see the kids like that.
We can't see the kids and interact with them like that
unless we do it first to ourselves,
because otherwise we can't see in the spirit.
We can't see who it is that they are in spirit.
We have to see and interact with that.
We have to see ourselves like that first.
And then it calls to them.
It gives that soul an opportunity
to hear another son of God talking to it
and choose to respond.
Anyway, it's very powerful.
Does that all make sense?
It does.
I don't know where I'm at myself
because I think I struggle to see them,
not see myself.
The way God sees me,
that's like a big part of the problem.
But I think I noticed when they were coming at me,
the former story a few weeks ago.
And I just said, I'm sorry.
And I asked for forgiveness and it totally threw them off
because I thought I was gonna protect myself.
And then I told them and I asked them,
why didn't you trust me in this?
Why did you get so upset and mad at me
for making this mistake?
And I said, don't you know that I want the best for you
and that I believe in you?
And that I felt changed something
that they, because they weren't sure about me,
they wanted to attack me
because they felt hurt and threatened or something.
And then when I asked for forgiveness,
that totally threw them off.
And then I said, I believe in you.
Why would you be so uncertain about me?
Why wouldn't you trust me?
That I want the best for you.
And I actually think that that really,
that that did something.
Just saying, and I could tell when I said
that it was impactful that I said that I believe in you.
And I think that's a little bit
what you're saying right now,
because when I'm saying that I believe in you,
I'm saying that I see something in them
that maybe they haven't seen themselves
because a lot of them don't believe in themselves.
And then they hear me saying, I believe in you.
And then maybe that could call forth something
that they're actually seeing that someone believes in them,
even though they might not be performing to the standard
they know they should.
But I still said that I believed in them
after they just had attacked me.
Yeah, so you showed that you treated them
with significance and dignity as individuals
and that they could affect you.
And you showed that they,
in other words, that they were powerful.
They were powerful enough to affect a teacher
and an adult and that you made yourself vulnerable to them.
And again, it shows them respect.
And so it shows that you treated them with value
as individuals, as opposed to second-class citizens
because they're kids.
So that they were on equal footing with you in value.
And that spoke a lot to them.
Not equal footing as in authority.
You had authority, but they don't.
But in the value as a human being,
just because people are younger
doesn't make them less valuable.
They're exactly the same value.
So, yeah.
But I think my struggle is to believe about myself.
And like you say, that that is actually
the first thing that comes.
That was everyone's hardest, is themselves.
Yeah.
To believe that, because now I'm often saying,
I believe, or I choose you,
and I choose that you are who you say you are.
And that is easier for me to believe
than I choose that I am who you say I am.
Yeah, that's very, I find that hard.
And I think that's like a root problem in my life,
like a deep sense of condemnation
and like almost like a hatred against yourself
or a kind of like attacking yourself.
And that makes me end up in a lot of condemnation
and guilt and shame.
And I kind of don't know how to break free from that
because that's like the second part of believing God
that he says he is who he says he is.
But the other part is to believe what he says about me.
Yeah.
And I think I find that challenging.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
It is very challenging.
Again, God's just like, okay, faith.
You choose that what I say about you is true,
even if there's no, even if you can't see evidence,
even if it doesn't make any sense
because you can't see how it's possibly true.
You don't feel that way.
You know certain things about yourself that you think,
well, surely if these things are in me,
or if these things, if I act in these ways,
or if I have acted in these ways,
surely it means that I'm not as good as God says
that I actually am.
And God's like, yeah, but what did I say?
And so that is really faith.
It's like, it doesn't make any sense to us.
And yet God says it's true.
And we have to choose that it's true
in the face of what feels like
a opposite evidence.
So I just choose it until I believe it.
You what?
I can just choose it until I believe it?
Yes.
So the way that faith works is you choose it first
as in you have to, it's an act of your will.
Now I've talked a bit about it.
Yeah, yeah, you have.
Yeah.
Where did I, where did I talk about it?
Oh my goodness.
Maybe in one of those, okay.
I don't know if you've seen this,
but if you go back to the rest intensive,
you know, not the rest lifestyle,
the rest intensive, the one we just finished,
I added more supportive teachings.
So you can go.
Yeah, did you see any of those?
No, I just saw that you put something out.
Okay.
So yeah, so I added more.
So if you go to the old, not the Facebook group,
the rest intensive webpage, you know,
members webpage, go there.
I finally, it took me a long time,
but I finally added all of the supportive teachings
that I had put in the Facebook group.
I added those to that page.
So it might be easier for you to find.
They were all, well, I didn't add all of them
from the Facebook group.
I just added the ones that were a part
of this past six weeks.
Anything that any questions that were asked
that I answered in a video,
I put under supportive teachings in that webpage.
So I think that maybe those might be helpful
because they were, and they were teachings
in answer to either where people were at that time
or questions that people had asked.
So anyway, my point is that there might be something
about like choosing in there and whatever,
and what the difference is.
So the way that faith works is that eventually,
now I may have told you all of this,
but I'll walk back through it again
because there's a part of it that I want to explain
that maybe I haven't before,
because you're asking about choosing versus believing.
And I wish I had a piece of paper, but anyway.
Okay, so you've got proof, belief, and choosing.
Now I've already explained this.
You've probably already heard me talk about it.
Because I talked about it when I did the interview
with Lindsay, because I walked through this.
And so there's proof, belief, and choosing.
And the choosing again is faith,
but I use choosing because I'm trying to teach
what faith is and I need to use new words
so that we understand that faith has a different meaning
than we thought that it meant.
So anyway, the way that God teaches
how to have faith in him is first,
he gives us lots and lots of proof.
So it's like a kid.
He does everything for us.
He makes all of these things happen
without our interaction, without our participation.
And we see all these miracles
and we see all this whatever, and we're like.
Oh, my warrior. This is great. And then God said, okay, do you see all of this proof?
Maybe we see lots of stuff in scripture. Maybe, maybe we see things happen in our lives. Maybe
we see things happen in other people's lives. Lots of evidence, lots of proof. Then from that,
God's like, God says, okay, I, now I want you to see all this evidence. Now believe that I am
who this says that who all this evidence has proven to you that I am. I didn't know that I'm
faithful, that I'm good, that I'm loved, that I protect you, that I provide for you, whatever,
believe it. And we're like, okay, I've seen enough evidence. I'm going to believe it.
But that's still not faith yet because we can believe something and know something and think
that thing is true and yet not believe it enough to want to risk ourselves on it, to step out on
it. You know, where it has, where it's the truth of it has to support us in life. Right. And, and
anyway, we put our own skin in the game. So anyway, after we believe it, we, and then we
got to build up our belief, more proof, more belief, more proof, more belief. And then finally,
he'll ask us, okay, now I want you to act on it, but your money, where your mouth is proved by
works, you know, faith without works is dead. So that's why this isn't faith yet, because there's
no works in it. We're just like telling ourselves that it's true when we're believing it, but we're
not actually acting on it yet. So anyway, God says, okay, but now move this into the faith
category, actually act on it. Like, Oh, that's really hard, but okay. And then, so he teaches
us how to do it. We're like, oh, okay, I'll try. And then, and then we do it. And then, and then
God begins up showing, showing up. Like he said that, that he always did back here where he gave
us all this evidence. We, after we choose that it's true and we act on it, he starts creating
more evidence. You know, we're like, oh my word, it really is true. And this is great. And it builds
our faith. And so we learn how to have faith because we chose and we acted on it, et cetera,
but that's still not full faith because faith is believing some is, is believing or choosing
something without evidence. So eventually after God builds all of this, um, uh, those, this, uh,
I whispered like this history with us, this, um, this, I don't know. Oh, I can't think of the word.
But anyway, all of this evidence, all this history with this, where he's consistently
proven himself to be who he says that he was after he's done all that. Then he'll say, okay, now
I want you to, I want to teach you how to have, how to really have faith. And we're going to skip
the proof. I'm not going to give you any proof. You, you aren't going to believe it.
And I'm asking you to choose it and to act on it anyway.
And so there's no evidence. In fact, all of the evidence seems to support the opposite,
you know, and then you don't believe it. So in other words, you don't, it's not logical
and you don't feel like it. And yet God tells you to choose it. So it's blind. It's just blind
faith. There's it's, um, it's, uh, based on nothing, but the fact that God said,
and then he says, choose that. That's true. Well, once you do that, then what you've done is you've
basically chosen your, that you are the new man. You chose to shift yourself into the spirit and
act like that, you know, act like, okay. God says he's good. God says he's loved. God says
he's protector. He says his provider, he's my safety, et cetera. So all of these things,
once you choose it and you act on it without believing it and without any evidence,
then God, um, what will happen is because you've chosen yourself as the new man
and you start acting like that, the new man always believes his father.
So once you've shifted up into that place of the new man, you naturally come to believe it.
Hmm. And then because you're connected, because you, because you acted on it and you believe it,
it's something that God has said that works together with God to create the evidence.
So now you are partnering with God to actually create the evidence instead of God, always
creating the evidence. Now in a manner of speaking, it's always God in spirit that
creates the evidence manner of speaking, but your faith in it allows it to manifest
and show up on the earth. So think of it kind of like this. Um, and we would talk more about this
on, in the power of intention, which is like session 12. And I know that you've seen them
all already. So I don't, you may remember this, but you remember where I have the stick figures,
the man and the woman. And then I talk about, I talk about conceit.
I use the, I use conception of a baby between a man and a woman as similar to faith between
us and the Lord, you know, where God is, is, um, you know, we'll, you know, we'll associate
God with the masculine and then the church or us as the feminine, what in order to create
a baby, God, uh, the, the man's seed can't create the baby by himself.
He just can't.
He can because, because he only contributes one strand of the DNA for a baby.
So he can give the woman his seed and the woman can receive it, but unless if she doesn't
provide her own contribution, which is, you know, the egg, if she doesn't provide that,
well then there's no baby.
So he can initiate.
So like God can give us word, but if the woman, if the woman, if the church, if we
don't actually come into agreement with it of our own free will, because we get to choose
whether or not we're going to receive that as true in our lives, you know, because again,
we can't live vicariously through God's will.
Okay.
God, if you say that it's going to happen, then I guess we'll just make it happen.
God's like, no, no, no, we're doing this together.
Participate with me.
You have to contribute it as well.
And then when you contribute your choice, that what God's word says really is true,
then something can actually manifest into the earth.
Then something can be conceived and the baby can be, and a baby can be created.
So that is how we start getting evidence into the earth that what God says about himself
really is true is because he says that it's so, but we, because we're the gatekeepers
of the kingdom of the earth, so to speak, the kingdom of creation, we have to give authority
to it.
We have to, we, to, to come into the earth and to be allowed to show up.
So until we give authority to it, the king, what God said about himself, can't show up
into the earth.
So if we just sit around waiting for God to prove himself, it's not going to happen.
It did when we were younger in our faith, we, you know, we're young and we don't know
what's going on.
We're a little baby, you know, so to speak, you know, in the spirit and we, you know,
we're new at all of this.
Well, God does everything for us, but what he's teaching us is after we get to be a certain
age, he's like, no, no, no.
In order for those things to happen on earth, you, I'm teaching you how to be a king.
You're not a baby Prince anymore.
I'm teaching you how to rule.
So you have to choose to give me permission for my word to actually create, cause something
to happen in the earth.
In other words, for proof and evidence to occur in order for it to occur, you have,
and you give permission by your faith.
So if we're sitting, so as more mature people in the Lord, if we're sitting around waiting
for evidence before we have faith, then we're acting as if we're still baby princes and
God's like, no, you're not that anymore.
You're going to be waiting for eternity for that evidence, because that evidence you're
so old now in me that that evidence needs your faith in order to be created.
That's how we co-create with God.
So God, just like a man initiates God, everything that originates on earth, that's healthy,
you know, and that's the spirit has to come from God.
God has to have said at first, we don't get to make stuff up.
God has to say it first, but we have to come into agreement with it in order for it to
happen anyway.
So does that make sense?
That's the difference between choice and belief.
And so, yes, you can, you, you can, if you have faith first, you can, then belief will
naturally come because when you choose, you're choosing that you are the new man.
You're choosing that.
God says that what God says about himself really is true, that whatever he's saying
really is true, that whatever he's saying about you really is true.
And then you operate from the place of the new man and the new man always believes his
father.
So the belief comes after the faith.
The belief comes because you chose that it was true first, you didn't choose it because
you believed you chose it.
And then you believed because you chose it'll come afterwards.
Because again, when I'm talking about belief, belief and faith are kind of the same thing,
which is why in the Bible, it talks about sometimes.
it says the word faith. Sometimes it says the word belief. The reason that I separate it is,
is we think that belief is this feeling. If I feel this way, then I know that I'm believing it.
And we're always looking for that feeling. And what I'm saying is, no, you can choose of your
own free, independent, self-willed intentionality that this is true, even though you don't feel it.
Hmm. And even though you don't, even though you don't think it's logical,
you can still choose it simply of your own will that, okay, if God says that that's true,
that's what I'm going to decide is true. And when, after you decide it and you start acting like it,
meaning like you choose that it's, you choose that, that, that what God said really is reality.
It's not a wishful thinking. It's not a, oh, wouldn't that be nice if the world worked like
that? You choose that the world does work like that world, the world, meaning like your life and
your experience, that it does work like that. And once you choose that, it works like that.
Then you should choose yourself into the new man. And the new man always believes his father.
And so the feelings will eventually come. They won't come immediately. Usually sometimes they do,
but they don't always, but, but your feelings aren't depend, uh, that your faith can't be
dependent on your feelings. So I am associating belief with what we've always associated belief
with, which is I feel a particular way. And that's how I know that I believe something
that feeling is not necessary in order to have faith that comes after. And as a result of our
faith, we have to have our faith first because our faith can literally not be dependent on anything
except the fact that God said it can't be dependent on our logic and it can't be dependent
on our feelings. In other words, God says, I don't, I'm a very jealous God. And I don't want,
I want you to choose that. What I said is true simply because I said it instead of waiting for
logic and value logic more than the fact that I said, or valuing your feelings more than what I
said, choose me without the logic and without the feelings. Otherwise we're elevating the feelings
or, or, um, logic over God and we're idolizing them. And God's like, no, choose me without them.
And that's how we choose God over, you know, these idols in our lives.
Anyway, I know I've talked a lot. Does that all make sense?
Yes, it does. And you have, I have, you have said some of it for before and it does make sense.
Yeah. So yeah, I, I remember some of this hearing some of this. Yeah. And I think that what is what
I'm doing, uh, I am choosing, I'm just not seeing or feeling it yet. I'm trying to walk. I'm starting
to walk in and in some areas I've seen, I've been feeling, I feel it or I believe it. And then
with myself, I don't yet feel it and see it, or maybe I'm starting to, but I'm not
fully seeing it yet, but I can still choose it. Yeah. Um, the most I would recommend that,
that you focus most on the fact that God is good and that he loves you. So that I believe will help
you begin to change how begin to change the feelings. In other words, that your feelings
will start coming more in line because we can believe that God protects us and provides for
us and whatever, but if we don't associate them from love that God's doing it out of love,
then we can just feel like, well, yeah, but that's just his relationship to us. You know,
he just feels obligated or it's, it's just that that's his role in our life is just to protect.
We can kind of, and so it, what God wants us to know is that what it is that he does,
he does, he does out of his relationship with us. And the fact that he is love,
remember God can't help loving. So it's not like you, he loves. So as weird as this sounds,
because we all want to be so special that God loves us because we're special, but he doesn't,
he loves us because that's what he does, but he could have chosen to love anybody.
And it meaning like not a person.
I mean, like he could have chosen to love other beings or he could have chosen to
just love himself and not love anything else.
But what he chose is he chose an object for that love and wear that object.
So you can't.
So, because it's not in a manner of speaking, excuse me, because it's not about us, then
we can't mess it up because we're not the reason that God is loving.
We're just the object of it.
Now, it doesn't make us not valuable because obviously we're very valuable.
My point in making this in and explaining it like this is for us to understand that
that if that God are that love from the Lord is just God being himself and is dependent
on on us in our actions, we have to be a particular way.
And it's only because we're a particular way that he loves us.
God actually just wanted to love.
So he created the thing that he would love.
He created so and remember that you actually came out of him, so your spirit is born of
his spirit, so that is something that his love naturally gravitates towards.
It's himself, which is in you, you know, and I don't mean you like he only loves
himself and you and doesn't let the rest of you know what I'm saying is it's like
you are a an extension of him.
You're not God, but you're an extension of him and the fact that your DNA is of him
and all of that and you express his character.
In other words, his character is your character and you're expressing that.
And he just and so that love for you is very natural for him.
He's going to do it regardless of regardless of what you, you know, regardless of
whether or not you're obeying him or or not.
And so anyway, so just realize that that that him loving is just him being who he
is, is just him being his natural character, just just natural self.
And it's not dependent on how you're interacting with him at the time.
And then the fact that and then believing that he really is good and he desires good
for you. So expect good in your life.
Now, does it always show up the way that we want?
No, but there is a manner, especially for me, there was a I mean, this is my point is
like this is how it worked for me is there's a manner in which in which when I'm
trying to learn that he's good, he keeps he keeps doing things that in my mind, in my
life translate to him being good, like meaning like I keep thinking, OK, if God's
good, he'll do these types of things.
And often he'll he will.
Now, is God good without those things?
Absolutely. But he's trying to communicate to me in a way that I that that he is good.
And so he's talking to me in my language.
What he wants to do is to elevate my language so that I see him as good outside of
doing these things for me.
But a lot of times he'll do things for me that I that help me.
I mean, like things that I want in life, things that I like in life.
And so it's easier for me to see, oh, wow, he really is good.
He really does notice me.
He's doing all of these things that mean a lot to me that are speaking my language.
This is how I see good.
And so he's doing them for me.
So, oh, my word, he must be good.
And what God and so he's just kind of like building that faith.
It's that whole giving me lots of evidence to eventually teach me to have faith.
You know, he so when we're young in a new area in life, case point that his goodness
or his love typically do all kinds of things for us that so that we see all of this
evidence and he gives us evidence.
And that teaches us how to have faith.
And then he teaches us how to have faith without the evidence.
But when we're young in it, a lot of times he'll he'll give us like lots of really
good things. He'll he'll have like amazing, miraculous things happen.
He'll let us do all kinds of really cool things that we've always wanted.
And but we didn't know that God would be that good.
And and here he makes those things happen for us and whatever, because we're young
and we're just needing to learn.
We're just needing to learn to have faith that he really is good.
So he'll give us lots of proof.
And then he asks us to have faith.
But eventually.
He'll grow us.
And what I try to teach is that, Hey, even though he's showing us this, he doesn't want
us to rely on the evidence.
Before believing him, but as a, but he'll, um, but anyway, um, so my point is in talking
about, and you talking about the fact that, uh, you, uh, are, um, you know, you're, you're
just not feeling things yet.
One of the things that I would recommend is focus on his love for you and on the fact
that he's good.
In other words, expect good things in your life, expect things to work out and wake up
every morning, expecting that all kinds of things are going to, are going to be easy
for you.
They're going to go your way, um, that God's going to gift you, you know, things without
you working for him.
In other words, that in things are going to come into abundance, you're going to get
phone calls or, uh, you know, from people offering to do things for you or to help you
feel loved, like, Hey, do you want to go on a walk or I don't know, or whatever, and it's
wake up every day and throughout every day, just expect good things to happen.
And then you'll start seeing it everywhere.
And then you'll begin to feel, and in other words, believe that it really is true, but
it's an act of faith to choose and to expect to see God's goodness and to see evidence
of his goodness, evidence of his love.
So in a way you are exercising faith because you're choosing it without the evidence, but
in a manner of speaking, there's, um, you're still, you're still, you trying to wait on
the evidence for it to have more faith.
So it's like you plan a little seed and then God will work with that.
And then go back to the exercise that I talked about, uh, love, um, about receiving God's
love.
And I recommend doing that every day for like just five minutes, not long, just five minutes.
And, um, and because, and that will be shockingly powerful to sit with Jesus that he comes next
to you and allowing him to love you without you trying to love him back.
Because remember the whole point of the exercise really is to receive something that you don't
feel you deserve and to realize and to sit with it until his love convinces you that
it's that he will give you his love, even though, even without you like deserving it
or earning it.
I don't mean deserving it isn't like you're a sinner and you don't deserve it.
But my point is like that it's that his love for you is completely unrelated to whether
or not you're deserving any kind of deserving.
It's like, that's not the point.
Just let him come to you and allow and love him by allowing him to be with you, who he
wants to be, which is loving you.
So it's the way to love on him is allow him to come to you and do whatever he wants to
love on you.
Just because that's what he wants to do, because that's who is allowing him to be who he is
because he's just love to allow him to be loved with you, allow him to love on you,
allow him to love on you without you loving him back.
I'm not saying you can't love him back.
I'm saying try to not try to try to kind of like, not, not try to love him back because
what we typically do is we love him for payment and we need to start and we're loving him
out of flesh and we need to just allow ourselves to just love very naturally spirit.
That's what I'm saying is to stop loving him from the way that we've been loving him.
And we have to figure out how to like cut that off.
So we're not talking about not loving God.
We're talking about stop loving him in the way that we've been doing it, which is out
of the flesh.
Like, Oh my word, you know, I don't deserve this.
Oh my goodness.
Or I'm so overwhelmed with love.
I need to love him back and whatever.
Well then that's, we're trying to earn it again.
We're trying to keep the thing going.
We're trying to, you know, and we're trying to relieve ourselves of the fact that we don't
feel deserving that he's loving on us.
So like, okay, how can I kind of like relieve myself with this guilt or this pressure?
Oh, I'll love him back or using it as payment.
So anyway, that's what I'm saying is though those things will really, I I'm telling you,
they will start changing your, your feelings.
So believing that he's good and expecting those things throughout every day.
And then that good things will happen.
Good things that you want to happen.
happen. Now you don't get to pick what those good things are, but just expect that you're going to
see good things and then just wait and then just expectantly go through the day to discover what
they are as opposed to God. I want you to do this. God, I want you to do that. Just like
expect good things to happen. When you go into a meeting, expect that it's going to be good.
When you go into the classroom every day, expect that it's going to be good. Don't hope that it's
good. That won't work. Expect it. I know it feels weird because you will feel unprotected. You'll
feel like you're not going to be prepared, that you're going to be naive and that you're not going
to be prepared for anything potentially bad that could happen. But remember that's our self-protection
mode of always trying to be aware, you know, so instead of choosing self-protection every day,
choose to see the manifestation of God's character of goodness and by you relying on that,
it leaves yourself open and vulnerable for God to step in and protect you. Amen.
So I know we talked about a lot. Does that make sense? You could go back and re-watch
this recording if it's a lot. Yeah, it's good. I think
I can tell when you're talking that not everything is going in and I think it is
one of the things that I wanted to ask you about. I have asked before, so it is that
it is that and I just feel so overwhelmed. I don't know how to handle being overwhelmed in this
and even like when I hear things and I know that they're right,
sometimes it doesn't, I can't take it in because I'm so overwhelmed or I can't start.
Okay, now you tell me, but I think that this might be what's going on. Do you feel overwhelmed
because you feel like, oh my word, there's more stuff I need to get, more stuff in which I need
to change, more things I need to remember? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Okay. And also that's why
I can't really take in all of your teaching or I just feel like lifestyle, there's so many things
that I have to do and I don't know how to get time to do it and I'm so busy and I can tell
that other things in my life with work and other things is that I've been stressing out. And then
I don't know, like my old way would be, okay, I need to set boundaries. I have too many things.
December, November has been too busy. I need to make sure that December is less busy and you kind
of manage things out from your soul. Yeah. So, and then you stop being so overwhelmed because you
kind of manage it, but it's, but now I'm thinking I don't want to do that anymore and I don't think
that's what the spirit's saying. Maybe I can be just as busy, but not be in a state of
overwhelmness. I just don't know because November has been really busy. I don't know how, and I've
been feeling so overwhelmed some days that I have to have time out. Like I can't respond to texts.
I don't, when people ask me to do something for them, I can't even comprehend what they're saying.
Like they're teaching, I can't seem to follow up things and I just don't know how to, and I know
that I've been having a lot of stress in my life and that's one of the reasons why I'm here. I just
don't know how to get out of it and live in the spirit without micromanaging it or setting
boundaries or doing all the things that has helped me survive these years because it has been helpful
to put boundaries because before that it was worse. But now, so maybe moving from
the body to the soul, but now I want to live in the spirit. Yeah. And, but I don't, but I'm still
so overwhelmed so, so often. So, okay. So sometimes like you're saying, the things that you're saying
will overwhelm me more because it's just more things I have to do, you know, and I know that's
not what it's supposed to be. Yes. So yes. So the simple thing, everything hinges or comes back to,
or whatever, uh, this one thing, it's just one sentence, you know, choose that God is who he
says that he is to the degree he says he is that, and that you are who he says that you are period.
That's the end of the story. That's all you need to know. So just kind of like apply that to every,
to whenever you feel that you need to be, uh, to
shift into rest or, or that you, that you, um, you, you feel overwhelmed, but oh my word,
there's more, there's more information or there's more things that I need to do or whatever.
If you go back to that, that will, in a manner of speaking, it will then tell you what you need to
do, how you need to handle the situation or how you need to shift into rest so that you don't
feel overwhelmed or whatever in this situation. So that is it. And that is the whole point really.
Uh, the rest intensive and the rest lifestyle is that sentence is everything. If people just
get that and live like that, they don't need the rest of it. So they could like, literally,
if I just tell them that sentence, I'm like, that's the secret go live like that. What does
God say? And then believe it. And what does he say about himself? And then choose that that's
your reality. And what does he say about you and choose that's your reality. And then meaning like,
if you choose that it's your reality, then start acting like, okay, if I, if this is true,
then how do I act? If this is true, then what decision story I make, et cetera.
So it's all very, very simple. The reason I keep talking about all of this other stuff. And the
reason that it takes, like, I have like 17 hours of teaching, you know, if you go all the way from
and, and I have more than that, but like, if I'm just looking at the inner is rest, you know,
series, you know, it's only to answer people's questions because God is simple,
but people are used to things being complicated. So they keep throwing all of these like
special scenarios out, not understanding that, that I always give the same answer every time.
It's always from what is God said, and then just how do you apply what God said to that unique
situation? You know, it's not that you uniquely apply. It's not like God has a different answer
for each situation. It's just, it's that other people have a hard time connecting,
connecting how simple that one sentence is to how to handle all these situations. Cause we're
used to there being a different answer for a different situation. So what I do is I help
people bridge that gap by showing them how you take this one sentence and apply it to everything.
So basically I just help people translate and help translate that for people, help interpret
it for people so that in equip them to be able to do it themselves, to be able to take that one
sentence and understand how it's applying so that they can begin to see, oh, it really is very simple
because so basically I'm just teaching people a different way to kind of view it.
So I'm not teaching all of these different things. I'm just teaching how to, by using different words
and different language, how to apply this one simple thing in all of these different areas.
And, and I'm only doing that because we approach it from a complicated perspective. So my point is
it's not complicated. So don't view it as complicated. Just like, okay, she's just talking
about something new. So let me just sit there and just, just hear her talk. It's kind of like the
Bible. It's like, if you're having a hard time reading the Bible right now, you know, and you
may not be, but a lot of people are, um, you know, some, so many people who come to me in a rest
intensive, you know, are always like, you know, well, I don't enjoy reading the Bible anymore.
And I'm like, well, yeah, because you expect that it's all work. I've got to get something out of
it. I have to, I have to receive a new revelation. Then I have to apply it. I've got to figure out
how the Bible is telling me I've been doing something wrong all this time and what I need
to be doing different. And then we typically apply everything new that we're learning.
We apply that same thought to it. Like when you're listening to my teachings, okay, I've got to learn
something and then I got to figure it out. And then I got to figure out how it applies to my life.
And I'm, you know, and how to apply it and just let your, if you're interested in watching it and
you don't have to, you don't have to watch all of these teachings right now. You've got lifetime
access. If it's overwhelming to you, just let it go. The whole point is to go through the rest
intensive and the rest lifestyle, just choosing for yourself at a deeper degree to connect with
God, to the point that you believe them, meaning like you have faith in him. You just are going to
believe him. And then what does he say? And you don't have to believe all of the things that he
says about what he is just okay. Some simple things he's good. And so therefore I can expect
good things from him and he's love. So he loves me no matter what, et cetera, those things as simple
as they sound, they will change everything because it's the fact that we're not believing that. And
we're actually believing the opposite that's created the life that we have. So if we just go.
back to these simple things, then it really
will change everything.
So my point is, just choose that.
Don't choose to learn all of these things
and all of these intricacies of how to apply this,
and what do I do about boundaries,
and what do I do about this.
If it's helpful, just receive what
it is that you hear and apply the little bit
that you were able to receive.
And then the rest of it that you didn't get,
and you just felt overwhelmed by,
and it just went right over your head
because you're like, I'm so full.
I can't hear anymore.
That's fine.
Your soul got it.
Your spirit got it without you having to be conscious of it.
So just take this parts that you got,
and just allow the Lord to change you
without you working for it.
So don't be conscious about it.
Don't be overwhelmed.
Don't try to learn something new.
Just try to choose to believe God.
What does God say about you?
He says He's good.
He says He's love.
Just very simple things.
And choose that that's what you get out of the rest lifestyle,
not learning all of the intricacies of how to apply it
in different scenarios.
Change your relationship and interaction with God
that you're going to believe Him, that He's good,
that He's love.
And then let Him show you the rest over time.
You're not going to know everything
that God says about Himself and apply it all right now
or apply it in the next six weeks.
That's over eternity.
Why?
Because He's infinite, and He's constantly expanding.
So we're never going to learn all of Him anyway.
So you're just on this constant journey of discovery of like,
OK, what else does He say about Himself?
And you expand into that.
And then once you become familiar with that,
then God teaches you something else to expand into that.
Allow things to happen.
Don't push yourself to change.
I think that's what I've been doing.
I've been starting to push a little bit and also feeling
like, oh, no, I've been in this for six weeks,
and then I heard you're teaching in the summer,
and now I should have moved on or I
should be in a different place.
But what I mostly got out of what you've been saying now
is just something that you said you want to own yourself first
and also realizing, thinking, oh, I'm at step one.
And in a way, you'll be at step one,
being loved by God all the time.
But actually, I thought that I should be grasping it now
and I should be in a different place.
And now I should start moving into co-creating more with God
or doing a lot of more things or changing
or changing other people's lives and my students and my pupils
and also I should start doing more.
And then I feel overwhelmed with all the things
where I should be at.
While I haven't actually owned myself, really.
I haven't taken on the mask, my own mask, fully.
And I don't actually, I'm just starting
to believe that what he says about me is true.
And I'm just starting to believe that he is who he says he is
and that I can choose it even if I don't believe it.
So I'm kind of not as far along as I would want to, I think.
Well, I don't think anybody is.
Not even me.
No one's as far along as we want to be.
But yeah, that's actually something
that I had actually thought about you with is I thought,
well, I don't know if Renata is ready for the rest lifestyle
simply because I don't know if it would be,
I don't want to say overwhelming for you,
but just like what you said.
If you're still focusing on these other parts,
are you going to feel like you don't have a place
that you feel that you can step into,
like you're not ready to step into like what we talk about
like in the rest of lifestyle?
I thought about that for everyone.
Maybe everybody's just not kind of ready, but here's the,
but so I was like, well, you know,
but everybody kept wanting to continue.
And I was like, well, what can I give him next?
And so I just thought about this.
So what I would recommend is that you and others take this
just simply as take the pieces of it that makes sense
and that you feel equipped and ready and stretched enough.
In other words, there's enough room
that you feel like you can apply it, great.
The rest of it, just hear it and just get hope.
Like, oh my word.
So that's what life looks like in rest.
So that's what, how things can look different
or be different, or in other words,
just allow it to shift your paradigm
of what to expect life to be like in the kingdom.
trying to figure out, okay, but how do I do it now?
Forget that, just let it be kind of interesting.
Like, oh my word, well, that's an interesting way.
I didn't ever think of like applying,
of approaching life from that perspective or whatever,
but don't feel the pressure to apply it.
It's not there now, you're not there now.
And I'm glad that we're having this conversation.
I need to mention that to the other people
in the group as well,
maybe like on a fireside chat or something like that.
And to make sure that people just take this as simply,
it's like being exposed to,
just allowing this to be something
not that they have to apply and step into
other than like anything that they just kind of feel
excited about applying.
No, hey, if there's something specific, go for it.
That excites you and motivates you, go for it.
But otherwise just receive it more, not in this,
okay, how do I apply this?
But more like just allowing yourself to just be exposed
to a different perspective
or a different approach to life in the kingdom
that you never thought of before.
You didn't know that you could view life
and approach life from this other way.
And then just take all the pressure off
and then focus still on the other stuff
because the governing creation can't work
without the other, without the choosing to believe
because everything always comes back to
who does God say that he is,
to the degree he says he is that
and who does he say that I am?
Everything always comes back to that.
That's why I start with love first.
I know everyone probably was shocked that,
hey, I've joined something about rest
because I wanna learn how to rest
and why are the first two sessions about love
and about the fact that I'm one spirit.
And I'm like, because everything
will always come back to that.
If you're struggling, you always have to come back to love.
Like if the fact that we're what, eight weeks in
or seven weeks in, however long,
it's probably about seven now, seven and a half,
half weeks in, I'm still going back to love.
I'm telling you, go back to session one about that exercise.
Those are the foundations.
And so that, because that's what I have to go back to.
It's the thing that makes everything else work.
The fact that God is love
and the fact that we're one spirit with him,
that is, that's needed for rest.
Cause remember the fact that we're one spirit with him,
that's the place of rest,
but we're not gonna feel safe,
having that type of unity with the Lord
when we don't feel loved by him.
So that's why I talk about love first.
I like set everything up for love,
the fact, hey, he loves you, so trust him,
feel safe with him, choose that he loves you.
And now that you're getting a little bit more
of that foundation, okay, now shift into the play
and now know that the place of rest
is you being unified with him.
And you can feel safe operating out of union with him
now that you know he loves you
and he's not anything to be afraid of.
So that's why I focus on those two things first,
because it's what we always go back to.
But so there are two videos that I recommend
that you watch that I think will be helpful for you.
They're in the rest intensive members page.
It's called like you are enough
or how to believe you're enough or something like that,
or how to be enough for yourself.
I think that's what it's called.
I think it's the last one of the supportive teachings.
So look at that one, how to be,
watch that one first.
And then the second one that you watch
would be how to empower yourself to choose,
I think is what it's called.
So watch those two.
I think that those will help because people last
in the other community and not in the other community,
meaning like the rest intensive Facebook community,
they were running into the same problem,
and they were just like, we're just really struggling.
And I finally realized, okay, they need to,
they need to, I thought, okay, well, how can I approach it?
Because every group is a bit different.
Every person's a bit different.
I thought, okay, so what is it that they need?
And I thought they need to know that they are,
that they are who God says that they are.
In other words, that they're good,
that they're loved, that they're who God is.
Yeah, I don't think I'm not there.
Yeah, and so other people weren't too.
And they were having a difficult time choosing God
because they couldn't choose themselves.
So I thought, okay, they're having a hard time doing that
because some people find that easier
and then find it easier to believe that God is.
That they are who God says that they are, but some people can't do that because they themselves are too big of a hurdle.
So I'm like, okay, so let's go about this a bit different. I'm like, choose yourself first.
And I didn't word it like this, but it's almost like, okay, just forget God for a second.
I don't mean like forget God.
It's like, okay, just don't, don't worry about like trying to believe him about like who he is and all of that.
Believe that you really are who he says that you are, that you are and treat yourself like that.
And so I give people recommendations of how to treat themselves in a new way, how to interact with themselves in a new way, how to value themselves, how to respect themselves, how to give themselves dignity, how to value their desires, how to start acting on those desires.
Because that's what I learned as well. That's how I first started.
I did that for about 10 months before I made that what I refer to as the ultimate choice, which I think is that little write-up that I did.
Did you read something that I wrote called the ultimate choice?
Maybe not, but it's where, yeah, I must've posted that later.
It's in the supportive teachings.
So the first ones at the top, there's like six of them.
Those are writings.
The ones underneath them are videos.
But anyway, the thing is that one of those is the ultimate choice.
So you don't, you'll eventually get to it.
Point is just focus on, on yourself right now.
Meaning like that.
Believe that if God says that you are that thing that you really are, and then act and then treat yourself like that.
So I'll explain it.
Why does it take so long?
Or like you're saying that you're like, why are we not ready?
Is there anything we are doing that are hindering it or kind of delaying it?
Or like, why are we not further?
Or is there anything?
That's just how long it takes.
And everyone's individually at different places.
And you're going through other things added to what's going on in the rest intensive or the rest lifestyle.
Yeah.
So I don't mean in any way to like, like hurt anybody's feelings or offend anybody.
No, no, no, no.
I'm just, I think I'm just frustrated on myself.
I'm like, why am I not, why am I not getting this?
Why am I not further?
And then I want to be.
But I'm not.
Yeah.
Well, what I was trying to say when, and what I meant when I was saying, you know, that I had thought that maybe people, some people weren't ready is not.
It is not as if that's a bad thing.
I was trying to relieve you of as if you were feeling frustrated of like, why can't I get this and why isn't it working?
I'm like, well, because you don't have to be there.
That's fine.
You know, I didn't want you to feel like, oh my word, you're not getting something that you're quote unquote.
I was like, I didn't know that everybody was ready for this anyway to like start stepping into it.
But because everyone wanted to continue to have the support and learn how to like walk in it.
In other words, while they had momentum, they wanted to keep going while they had momentum.
So what do I do?
And I thought, well, I'll expose them to this.
But I thought that very few people were ready to step into actually applying it.
But I thought it'll, it'll expose them to the information and then we'll continue to all be in the community together.
And then so they'll still feel supported in learning more and more about how to live this lifestyle of rest.
So, but understand, I, I did this.
It took me so long to do this.
God has taught this to me over, over.
Oh, how long?
I don't know.
Generally speaking, it's probably longer than this because you know how the Lord just plant seeds, but he's been teaching me this for like.
16 years.
Hmm.
I mean, y'all are six weeks in.
Or you if you want to see it that way.
You've just been doing this since the summer. I had 16 years.
So y'all are fast. Y'all are really fast.
It's just, but the reason sorry I'm having to plug my.
And so y'all are really, really fast. In fact, that's why.
I'm sorry, my.
No, that's fine.
I just need to.
Yeah.
By the way, I'm fine on time, but are you.
Oh, I'm okay. Yeah.
Okay, because, you know, I am.
Just want to make sure.
Yeah, I'm fine.
15 years. And then the, and I didn't know what it was I was
doing. I didn't know what was going on and whatever. And then
there's some way in which what it is that I learned,
especially a few years ago, when God really started like honing
in the message of like what I was of what it all meant. And I
didn't, there's some aspects in which I did have someone to help
me on certain things. But, and like kind of exposed me to
certain words or certain, certain ways of operating, how
to how to put that. I don't know. Anyway, I did have someone
teach me some things. But the majority of what I've learned is
just between, you know, it's between me and the Lord. And,
and so it was very, and so there were certain aspects that took
16 years or other things that happened in a very condensed
amount of time, like say, for instance, I know, year and a
half, two years, maybe it's been two years. And, and yeah, it was
something like that. And, and, but, but remember that y'all are
doing it in a very condensed amount of time, partly because
I've learned to and it's because I was the pioneer, I was a
pioneer. So I learned I, it was harder for me. And it took more
time than and it makes it easier for the people that come
after, because I can, you know, as a pioneer, you learn kind of
like all the tricks, and all because you've met you're the
one who's made all the mistakes, and you learn how to articulate
it in specific ways, etc. So, so y'all are have actually learned
stuff really fast. For me, it took it was a lot of pain, and a
lot of years, and I didn't know what was going on. I didn't, I
just knew that life was meant to be lived differently than how I
was seeing everybody else live it. And, and so whenever I asked
people about certain questions, they would give me the the
godly, or worldly answers. And I'm like, there's something
wrong, even the godly ones. I'm like, No, I don't. I know that
that's how everybody else does it. And I was always told,
well, actually, you know, you need to respect other people's
not experiences, but the fact that, you know, we've, that
other people have lived longer than you have. And therefore,
there are things that they know, and everybody that comes along
thinks that they're going to learn something different and
whatever. And I'm like, Yeah, but I know that there is, is
there something in me anyway? So it was just very, very
challenging. And so it was a lot longer and harder for me than
for y'all. So y'all really are going through it very fast. So
don't get frustrated just because I'm putting these these
just because I'm making the program a certain amount of time
like of six weeks, you know, don't think that you're there,
you're supposed to reach a certain that you're supposed to
be operating in all of these areas of your life by the time
of six weeks, what I try to do, and the reason actually why it's
even that long, because I want to actually reduce the rest
intensive to two weeks. The reason why I have six weeks is
to allow life to come up. I don't need this long to teach
it. I can teach it. Well, for one thing, all you need is that
one sentence, but then people wonder, well, how do I apply
that sentence? So I taught that 17 plus hours, I taught that in
three and a half days. And that was only and again, it's only
17 hours. So there's like huge number of hours each day that we
didn't meet. And then I let everybody like kind of rest or
take a nap or go visit or whatever. So it wasn't solid. It
was only three and a half days. I did six weeks for y'all. Why?
Because I want to allow life situations to come up, where
y'all start questioning things like wait a minute, what do I do
now? I thought that I got it. But then this thing came up and
I didn't know what to do. And I want to be available for people
to be able to ask questions as life comes up. So that's why I
put like six weeks on it. But, but we just have to live this
out. We just life just comes up. There's all of this stuff that's
deep down in us, that just needs to still come up. There's still
stuff in me that's still coming up so much stuff. In fact, I
feel like the more that I the more that the more time that I
live, the more I realize I'm not in rest. Like, oh my word, I
feel like the majority of my life is actually not in rest.
And like, how can this be? But it's because there is so much
creation and flesh to overcome. But that's what I'm doing here.
That's what I'm here for. I'm not it will it's not what I'm
here for.
or I'm actually here to express God,
but the fact that because of the fall,
creation isn't believing God,
the first thing I have to do so that they can see God
is to overcome.
So anyway, it's what we're all doing.
And in a manner of speaking,
it's this lifetime process until,
I mean, think about it, Abraham,
it says this in like the hall of faith,
it says that Abraham and Jacob and all of these people,
they had faith for a promise
that they never saw the fulfillment of.
And they live longer than we did.
So the thing is that they were overcoming creation
thousands of years ago, and we're all doing that.
So this is just, so rest is not as a lifestyle,
it's a way of approaching,
I mean, it's a way of approaching life and creation now
from the perspective that we're free and we're God.
And we don't have to create our life for ourselves,
so to speak, God does that.
He's responsible for the outcome.
So in other words, y'all are doing great.
Everybody has their own background perspective
and ancestor DNA that they've inherited,
experiences that they've had,
beliefs that they've come into agreement with or whatever.
Everyone has their own unique aspect of creation
that they need to overcome.
And people that take,
this just gives you a general idea.
Generally speaking, people that take longer,
it generally means that they have more to overcome,
meaning like, I don't mean more to overcome,
like, I don't know how to explain it,
but they're given a very strong,
they're given a responsibility to overcome something
that is extremely challenging,
that they have been equipped to overcome
and other people haven't.
So I greatly commend people that really struggle,
but continue to choose to do it and continue to,
because they've been given something that is,
and they've been held,
they've been given a great responsibility.
They have been entrusted,
that's the word that I'm trying to look for.
They've been entrusted with something
very precious to the Lord.
A very precious aspect of creation,
because God says, hey, with me, you can do this.
So we need-
It feels like you're a very, very big ship
that needs to change, to turn.
Yeah, exactly, yeah.
You know that you don't turn that ship like this,
you want the whole ship to turn
and go in a different direction.
I think I'm frustrated.
Also that some of the things I feel I've been learning,
like God has taught me in different ways over the years,
a little bit, like for instance, living in faith,
but other things I'm just like baffled that I haven't,
and probably kind of sad that I haven't learned it before,
or I have to learn it this late in life,
or all the things that I could have avoided,
or all the hurt and pain and struggles
that could have been different
and living in so much pain for so long,
and maybe I didn't have to.
So I think that's also like maybe a little bit grief
alongside with it, because I am 40, I'm not 20 years old,
and kind of just like, life just started.
It's just like I've lived so many years
of so much hardship, and I'm like,
some of these things, why haven't I seen it before?
I've read the Bible and sought God,
and then I'm like kind of sad that it's like happening.
Yeah.
And that's why I think I wanted,
then I'm like, I need to kind of roll faster,
but then it takes as long as it takes.
I can't just push myself to believe
and have faith in something when I haven't chosen it
or understood, or kind of just like taking it in.
I need to, I don't know, just accept I'm at where I'm at,
I'm the age that I am, and I've learned what I've learned,
and there's a lot of things I didn't learn,
and I don't know, but I think it's a little bit grief in it.
Yeah, a lot of people experience that.
In fact, Casey mentioned that the other day in a,
And in one of her journey sharings, she mentioned that she said, you know, one of the things
that I'm struggling with now is grief over the fact that I didn't learn this sooner and,
and, but remember that.
And so that's another area in which we can just shift into rest, because remember that
the, we're not trying to arrive somewhere.
God isn't holding us accountable to arrive at a particular destination.
He's just like, develop your relationship with me.
Are you developing your relationship with me, a relationship with me right now?
Of course you are.
Therefore you're doing it.
This is, this is it.
We're doing it.
You know, is it, and so you're, you're fulfilling your, the purpose for which you were, you
were created as, as a, as a spirit.
I'm not talking about like, you know, soul and body and, and the fact that you're here
in creation.
I'm just talking about fact of why God created you as a spirit, you know, before the foundations
of the earth or, you know, Ephesians one, four, you know it's just for the development
of relationship.
It's not to get somewhere because God's God won't from, from what I can tell anyway, it
doesn't look like God's gonna ever has created things to, for us to get anywhere anyway,
because it looks like he's always expanding and therefore that there was always more about
him to learn.
So there's, there's no place to be.
So after we bed or die, we live forever with Christ.
So it's kind of always co-create with God throughout eternity, we will always grow with
him.
We will always have new knowledge and new revelation of him.
So in that way, being past 40 doesn't mean like, oh, my life is almost over.
Why haven't I learned this yet?
No.
Yeah.
Because in fact, there's ways in which God can, can use what it is that you have gone
through up until now.
And the fact that you are learning about, you know, rest and freedom in him at your
age, because of what it is that you've lived through and, and the other choices that you've
made and things that have happened or whatever, it can enable what it is that you learn in
rest and how you then live right now to be richer, because there are certain aspects
of, of, um, because up to this point, your life has been extremely valuable, extremely,
it's not wasted.
And now you're learning how to really do it.
It's not because in fact, what God will do is he takes all of this and then he, and then
he redeems it.
He, it's, it's like he, and so it feels like we're learning something all over again and
all my work, we're starting all over again.
And that's really actually not what happens.
God actually takes all of these things that we've lived through, and then he redeems it
so that it's actually very beneficial for the kingdom and for overcoming creation, et
cetera.
So everything in our life is actually ends up being all of those things end up being
extremely valuable, but it doesn't feel like it because we're used to viewing things, not
from a kingdom perspective and the perspective of God, but the perspective of, of, uh, of
the world, which says that no time is linear and you need to learn something earlier in
order to have, to have more time under this new understanding from which to approach things
because you need time in order for things to happen.
And that's bogus.
It's like, you don't need time.
I I'm outside of time and I'm very valuable.
It's like, and your spirit is outside of time.
Time is not needed.
Time is a tool.
Time is just, it's just an aspect of creation.
That's allowed to partner with us, you know, as we do stuff.
So it's not a limitation.
I mean, God, even God, even, you know, stopped the stocks time to allow, uh, to allow, uh,
you know, Joshua to win the battle and all of that.
Remember we stopped the sun in the sky for a certain amount of time and he did that twice.
I don't remember what the other time in the Bible was, but anyway, he's done that twice
and it's just anyway.
So the thing is, if you, we kind of can, cause I had the same thing.
I had not only grief, I had a flat out midlife identity crisis.
I mean, I, I, I never felt so, um, I don't know, despondent in my life.
I didn't, I didn't know how to survive because I just felt.
Like the bottom had just come out from everything.
That was four years ago, December, 2018.
I had the biggest midlife identity crisis.
And I thought, I cannot believe I'm 34 years old and how it is that I, what
it is that I've dedicated my life to doesn't work, just didn't work.
I don't know what works because at that time I didn't know about rest.
I don't know what does work.
All I know is that this doesn't.
So I felt really hopeless because I didn't even have anything to go to.
I'm just like, this is all just so bad.
All of my, my brothers and sisters, they now have all of these positive
things that are happening in their life.
And I've got nothing, you know, because again, I was looking at things
from a worldly perspective that I don't, I'm not married and, and I don't
have kids and, and I don't have a house and all of the things back, you know,
back then, and, um, and I was like, and because again, I was measuring my value
based on life milestones that I'd passed by a certain amount of time, because
I just felt limited by time, you know, just like people talk about, like with
children, like, oh, we only have a certain amount of time, you know, while your
body can handle it and whatever we limit ourselves, you know, but by the world's
standards and God's like, I'm not limited by that.
Um, so anyway, I had to begin to view things very differently and God had to
show me and part of it, he just showed me by experience and that's how I learned
these things is I began to watch it really happen and like on my word, it's
true that God's just like, you know, actually just you developing your
relationship with me, you being in a moment and us enjoying the moment
together, he's like, that's the point.
You said, just develop the relationship with me.
And then how are you, how do you, and I went to express our relationship into
the earth in such a way that when we express how our relationship is developed
in, in the spirit, when we express that into the earth, it shows the earth God.
Because we're expressing us and God together into the spirit.
We're expressing that into the physical.
And when the physical sees what you and God look like together, it changes.
It has an opportunity it, and it's over it's that's how we overcome
flesh is then transformed into spirit.
It has an opportunity when it encounters God and a son of God and
they're really, and what they look like together, it has an opportunity to make
a choice, is it going to come into alignment or is it not?
And so that's all that you're doing.
You're not accomplishing something here on earth.
You're developing your relationship with God and you're expressing
who you and God are into the earth.
So number one, you're developing your relationship with the Lord and the spirit.
That's the first thing that you're doing.
That's most important focus on.
Remember, seek you first, the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all
these things will be added unto you.
So if you seek that first, all these other things will happen.
So you do that.
And then the second thing is you express yourself.
Cause remember Ephesians one, four, God chose us in him before
the creation of the world.
So you were created as spirit in order to simply have relationship
with God in union, and that's your point.
It's not to have a particular life.
It's not for God to be pleased with how you live your life on earth.
That's not why you were created.
Meaning like, it's not why you exist.
You exist long before the creation ever happened.
So anyway, um, and for a purpose outside of creation, then before the fall,
you know, God's like, Hey, I'm going to make creation.
And in creation, it was like, okay, let's take who it is that we are in spirit.
And let's express that into a physical form.
So all you're doing is you're translating, you're translating
from English to Chinese.
That's all you're doing, but you have, but you're using the same
sentence in English, you're just translating it into Chinese.
It's the same thing in the spirit.
You're just translating from spirit, something that already exists, and
you're just putting it into a different form.
You're taking water vapor and cooling it down.
So it becomes an ice cube, but you're not taking water and
changing it to orange juice.
So it already exists here.
Remember your relationship with God is number one.
That's your whole point.
Then you simply express that into a different form.
Once you express that into it, that's your point before the fall.
So what you're doing here is you are number two, your second purpose.
Your first purpose is just.
Your relationship with God.
The second thing that you're doing is you're just expressing who you and
God are into, into a physical form.
What does your relationship look like?
If it can be seen, she can't see it.
And so to speak, we have a hard time seeing it in spirit.
What does it look like?
If you can see it, what would it look like?
What business would it look like?
What is your relationships look like?
Who do you meet?
That's what it looks like.
So if it looks like, and then because of the fall,
creation, in order for God to be fully seen,
creation has to be, and flesh has to be overcome.
We have to overcome the flesh.
We have to change flesh from it being corrupted
to it being spirit and it being eternal.
And that happened after the fall.
That wasn't the reason that God created the earth.
God did not create the earth for us to overcome it
and for Jesus to have to die.
That came because Adam made a different choice
and that all of a sudden creation
went in this other direction.
God didn't choose that that's what he wanted
when he created creation.
He was like, no, creation is to express
who you and I are together.
And that's what he and Adam and Eve all did.
Who knows how many thousands of years
that the Garden of Eden was there
before Adam made his choice?
You know, who knows?
So anyway, it could have been billions of years.
I have no idea.
But the point is, God's like,
the point is not sin and overcoming sin.
That happened later.
That happened because Adam made the choice.
God's original purpose for creation hasn't changed.
It's still simply to express who we and God are together.
But in expressing who we and our God are together,
we now have this problem because Adam sinned.
We now have to overcome the flesh with spirit.
So that's number three.
So we've got like this, this like layering.
But our very first point is just to develop
our relationship with the Lord.
It's not to get anywhere.
It's not to be somewhere so that you need to feel bad
about the fact that you're not there yet.
You're not supposed to get anywhere.
You just do it.
You just develop the relationship.
You just learn more.
You just enjoy God.
You do life together.
And then you're doing it in this form.
You're expressing that into creation in the physical sense.
But because of the fall,
creation is basically an opposition to us
because it's afraid, you know?
So you try to prove to it that you really are
the goodness of God in physical form
so that it'll feel safe with you
so that you can express who you and God are together,
you know, into creation.
So anyway, so the thing, the whole,
my whole point in saying all of that is to relieve yourself,
you know, of all feeling all of this grief of like,
why haven't I learned this yet?
You, you, there's, there's, you're not behind.
You're just, the whole point is developing a relationship
and what it is that you've done so far
and all of this, these fleshly ways
that we've lived in our lives up to this point,
that we actually, God will redeem it.
And because of the choices that we're making now,
the choices that we're making now will redeem all of this.
There'll be ways in which all of these things
that have contributed to our life here on earth,
there are ways in which they will, they'll change.
They will be transformed into spirit.
It's aspects of flesh that because of our choices now,
those aspects of creation that are flesh, you know,
that we're like, oh my word, I've lived 40 plus years
and oh my word, I have all this flesh.
God's like, yeah.
Now that that flesh won't die.
Well, I mean, it'll die, but what I mean is like,
it won't like simply like not exist anymore.
He's like, no, now you've got all of this stuff
that can be transformed to spirit.
So it's not wasted.
It's not bad.
You're not behind, but if we look at it
from the world's perspective, then we think we're behind
because we think there's some place we were supposed to be.
And God's like, no, there's not any place
you're supposed to be.
You're supposed to develop your relationship with me.
And if you do that,
then all these things will be added into you.
And then remember, and let me just read you this last thing
and then we will go.
Let me see here.
Where is it?
Because I thought, and I was mentioning this
to someone the other day and they were like,
oh my word, I'd never seen that before.
I'd never seen it in this verse before.
And so I was reading it the other day
and I was just so struck by it.
And so let me see here.
It is Hebrews 11, six, or was it?
Oh, darn.
No, yeah, yeah, it is Hebrews 11, six.
And without faith, it is impossible to please God
because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists
and that he rewards the people who come to him.
those who earnestly seek him. So that's how we know that what it is that the
And that's what we're going to do today.
We're going to look at the word of God
and we're going to look at the word of God
object of our faith has to be God. Not what God will accomplish, what God will
do, where we're supposed to be by a specific time, you know, whatever. It's
just God's just like if he says, you know, seek ye first the kingdom of God and his
righteousness, what is he saying that we need to have faith in where he says
everything will be added to us afterwards. He said him, he said, if you
just focus on me and develop in your relationship with me, all of these other
things will happen. You know, you'll manifest who it is that you and the Lord
are into creation and you'll overcome creation so that the flesh changes to
spirit. But all you have to do is focus on the relationship and remember that the
relationship, so in other words, you're, again, you're not behind, there's
all these milestones that you need to hit. God says, no, just choose me, just
develop relationship with me. And remember, I don't have a specific place
you need to be. I'm just like, I just want you to just do it. When you wake up
in the morning, wake up with me, walk to the bathroom with me, do the dishes with
me, get on the bus with me, or if you have a, if you have a car, you know, in
the car with me, you're driving with me. We are living life. I'm not helping you
live life or watching your life, you know, holding you to an holding you to be
accountable for specific results and to hit certain thresholds. It's like, no,
you and I are living together. We're just doing stuff together. You're enjoying
it. We're because we're expressing to all of the things that we encounter in
life, in our car, on the road, the classroom, whatever, reading a book,
whatever, we are, we are doing it together. And we are expressing who we
are together into the world. That's all you're doing. You don't have to be
specific places by specific times or whatever. But we can look at things like,
Oh, my word, wherever it is, or rather I am is where I'm always going to be and
this is depressing and it's not going to change and whatever. And it's just not
true. God says, if you choose me and you choose to focus on it, all these other
things will happen effortlessly. So seek you first, the kingdom of God and his
righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you will be added unto
you. Not you have to add them. They will be added to you. He creates the outcome.
Anyway, so, I mean, I understand, you know, that we have a grieving process.
And I'm not trying to say, you know, Oh, we shouldn't be grieving or anything.
Jesus grieved. Grieving is part of like a human experience. I'm just trying to
address the source of the grief and try to say that isn't that that you're not.
And what do you call it? You're not behind. There's nothing wrong with you.
And you're and you don't have to agree that Oh, I should be somewhere that I'm
not. That you're being held accountable to a particular standard and a particular
milestone that you're not at yet. Does all of that make sense? So I mean, you
just have to walk this out with the Lord. So it's not like I can tell you all this
stuff and Oh, my word, you're just convinced. I'm just trying to encourage
you and you just take it before before the Lord. And then y'all just walk it out
together. But yeah, anyway. So yeah, are you okay? I'm okay. Yeah. So so don't,
again, don't get overwhelmed by anything. Don't try to learn how to do all of this
stuff that we'll be talking about in the rest intensive, the rest lifestyle.
No, yeah, don't feel responsible. Just focus on the love and the goodness. And
that will change everything. Just focus on that. And then just enjoy the rest of
it. Just like in just in just find it kind of like fascinating or interesting.
And if you just can't handle the exposure to it, and don't watch it. Because
you have lifetime access. So so anyway, so just do that. And yeah, yeah, just do
that. And so like what I said, instead, focus on on the fact that God is good.
In fact, he loves you. But if if that if you're struggling, so kind of keep that
in the back of your mind, like, okay, that's, that's kind of like the the, the,
I don't know, just the general idea of the cloud, you know, that I exist.
in, but what you focus on is those two videos that I recommended to you to watch.
The first one, again, I think that this one would be best to watch first, because it'll
give you context for the other one, and that is how to choose that, or not how to choose,
how to be enough for yourself, and then the second one I recommend watching is how to
empower yourself to choose.
I think that's what I said.
So I recommend watching this, because I think you'll be encouraged, because basically what
I'm telling everybody is, hey, everybody, y'all are great, enjoy yourself.
So I'm kind of like helping, like being an outsider, giving people permission from the
perspective of God of like, hey, enjoy yourself, and this is how you can enjoy yourself.
What desires do you have?
And then try to do those.
Sue and I have talked a bit about it, like say, for instance, with writing and other
things, but maybe these videos will help as well, because they came after me having to
talk to other people about it as well, because they were just struggling so much.
I was like, hey, you need to enjoy you.
Anyway, that's what I did for 10 months first, and God really used that.
From December 2018 until around like September or October of 2019, I just focused on choosing
that I was so, that God enjoyed me so much that I could do what it is I wanted to do.
I felt like I was risking my relationship with God, but I was choosing to have faith
that I was who God says that I was.
And I chose to figure out, okay, then I need to act like it.
So I chose me first, and that's how I chose to believe God.
I chose to believe that aspect of what God said.
I could have chosen to act on anything that God said, and so what I did, because I was
having too much trouble believing any of the other things, I thought, well, I'll choose
what he says about me.
He says that I'm good, and so therefore I think that means I can start doing some things
that I want to do, so I'm going to act like it.
And I don't know if God's going to like it or not.
All I know is that everything else hasn't worked, so I'm going to try this.
And I discovered things about God.
I discovered that he liked me.
I discovered that he really, really enjoyed me, but I only, but I, but I discovered that
by experiencing it, by choosing that he, that that's how he saw me.
And then when I began to act like it, I began to feel his pleasure in me doing those things.
And I'm like, oh, I guess it's true, so, but I didn't, he didn't, I had to believe what
he was saying and then act like it.
And then when I acted like it, I got the proof that, that it really was true.
So I helped create the proof because God said it, I acted like it, and then that's what
created the proof.
That's what changed my feelings.
Anyway, we have been talking a long time and I'm fine, but I wanted to, I'll let you go.
So, but I hope all this is helpful and encouraging.
So don't get overwhelmed.
Just enjoy the fact that God's good.
God's love.
Watch those two videos.
Choose, choose yourself.
Just be focusing on those things.
Don't be focusing so much unless you want to on boundaries and all that other stuff,
because that's just overwhelming right now.
It makes you, it's, it's triggering your performance.
We want, and we want to break that performance being triggered out of performance.
Yes.
So go back to that because you can only learn these things if you're not approaching them
from performance.
So if your performance is being triggered, we need to go back to what, what helps remind
what, um, uh, that the root of approaching things, not from performance, but love and,
and the fact that you're enough for the Lord.
Performance has been such a big part of my life since I was a little child.
I used to perform on stage since I was five.
Wow.
Yeah.
You know, I was like, uh, this perfect little church girl that the whole church loved.
So, and, uh, I was a singer and my sister.
So me, my, my sister started performing on stage in the church when I was five.
Oh, that'd be hard.
Yeah.
And it was great and amazing, but it kind of, it's, it kind of just was like, you're
always on a stage.
You're always performing.
Everyone loves you as long as you're performing.
Correct.
Yeah.
So it just created, some of it was very good and some of it was a bit unhealthy.
So, um, I think that what you're saying right now, just like to get out of performance
is a big thing.
And this, the word that God gave me for 2022.
at 2022. And I didn't understand it at the time was the word the light.
Oh, I love it. That is like the like yourself in the Lord. And I didn't understand it. But I just
believe that that was the word for this year. And now it's December almost and I'm starting to
understand it. Oh, that's wonderful. Oh, it's because he wants to enjoy me. It's because he
wants me to have fun. He wants me to figure out what I want, and that I don't have to perform
and I can just be and he loves me even if I don't perform or if I don't do anything,
or even if I don't change or, or agree with the Lord. Yeah, I agree with the Lord by delighting
in yourself. Yeah, yeah. So that he delights in you and you enjoy that and you delight in you.
And I think I think it's perfect. See, and I know I know you probably were like going
throughout the whole year going, well, Lord gave me this word. And then at the end of the year,
he's like, now we're driving at home. That's wonderful. Oh, that's special. See, God's very
good. Yeah. Okay. Well, I'll let you know. You're welcome. Good to visit with you Renata.
Yes, I'll see you next week. Okay. Bye. Bye.