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Hey, hi. How are you? Good to see you. I'm doing a pretty good,

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I think. Well, I know that I haven't answered your message

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yet. I felt that it was rather it was rather too. Yeah,

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important for for for me to like, write back and I thought

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well, I needed to kind of like talk through it or whatever.

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Yes. And I think I just needed to get it out. And then I

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thought we'll talk about it on Tuesday. Yeah. Oh, good. Well,

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I'm glad that you did. It's been really, really hard. I'm

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sorry. So can you tell me about it? I mean, I know you told me

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about it in the in the thing. Yeah. What would you say now?

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You know, I wanted to come to the it's been a process where

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God has like it started a year and a half ago when God told me

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I will teach you to live by the Spirit. And then I was like, Oh,

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what does that mean? I didn't think I didn't know that I

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wasn't living by the Spirit. And then and then I just

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realized more and more and more how much of a victim mentality

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and bitterness and control that is there. And then God's first

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of all started to rid me of all control through this specific

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in specific situations in my life there where he didn't

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allow me to take control. And I didn't understand why. I just

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had to trust him and everyone else around me told you, you

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need to control this, you need to say something, you need to do

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something. But every time I went to the Lord, he just said more

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like your grace is sufficient for my grace is sufficient for

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you, you just do nothing. So I was left in a very horrible

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state. But in that God taught me to like go of control. And then

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like so much of my heart, and I didn't know that I was even I

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didn't even know that I was controlling things so hard. And

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then with the tinnitus coming, things became more stressful.

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And they taught me that stress is one of the reasons for

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tinnitus. And also it triggers it a lot. And then I thought

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I've been living in stress for 20 years. So and then this

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summer, like I shared earlier, your teaching was the only thing

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that brought peace to me. And I hadn't some of this I hadn't

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heard before. It's like totally new to me. And it just touched

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my spirit. And I knew that this is what I want, but I don't know

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what it is yet. But my spirit just wants there. And but

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through, like 20 years with a lot of stress, and a lot of

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control and bitterness, and not like, because no one would say

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that I'm a bitter person, because I've chosen actively to

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not be bitter. Yeah, I've chosen actively to not be a victim. And

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I've like, I, I've encouraged my friends in this, I've like been

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very, very vocal about not living in resentment. So then

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that's why but it was like underneath, like very deeply

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layered. And also with this, I always just end up in pain, and

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God uses me almost to the extent that you feel a little bit

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almost abused. Yeah, like, oh, you like, he taught you to walk

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in faith. And then, but you are the one that bear the

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consequences for it. And it kind of reminds me a little bit of

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what you said about before you even a few years ago felt that

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you were saved. God had already done a lot of things through you

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and in you, but you were not doing it from a place of rest.

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Correct. And I just thought of that so many times lately. And

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there's like, I actually think that's what happened to me, too,

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because I have tried to kind of understand, because I've been

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walking so much in faith, and God has been doing so much in my

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heart and so much healing, and so many things through me, that

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when I heard your teaching, it was hard for me to understand

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that to what I couldn't place what is God and not and how does

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it make sense that my life has been so much so, so good and so

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many fruitful things. And at the same time, I see like, oh my

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gosh, I'm such a wreck. So I haven't been it's been hard to

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reconcile those things. But when you've said

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that um it is actually you actually did learn about rest and had started walking and things

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but just from a different place yeah i think that makes that kind of start to bring everything

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together in my mind that actually all these amazing things were happening and it was me

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walking in faith and it was god healing my heart and it was all these things but i was just

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um not walking with it by not understanding the tree of the knowledge of good and evil versus

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the tree of life like i was i was doing it from a place of maybe knowledge but yeah so i still

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think i'm trying to reconcile this thing because it's it's not just oh this oh i have this it's

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my whole life that i'm trying to put in perspective so uh uh this week my life was

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i was i've been so frozen and uh so much in distress that you can't even fight or flight

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because you're just frozen so you don't even yeah you don't know how to but i think it's

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hitting the reason why i'm telling all this it's like it's hitting what i've been living in for 20

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maybe even longer years uh is the

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uh it's like this pattern of stress that makes me end up where i am now or have been this week

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with so much like you're totally frozen you can't act like your emotions are being hit so hard you

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don't even know how to how to navigate this and it leads me back to all these 20 years

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where deep under the layers of knowing what's right and acting on it there is some kind of

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resentment and bitterness and victim mentality that's why i think i'm trying to explain like

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the whole context of these last years so and which i'm actually glad that it came up during

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the rest intensive and when i'm having you as a coach because it's actually life like you say you

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do rest intensive for six weeks because then life has a change yeah life has come up so it really

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hit me and if it hadn't i wouldn't have understood because so far i feel like it's been going well

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and i'm taking such big steps and then a little bit back and forth but now i was hit in such a

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place where i'm like this is actually why i want to live in rest and i want to do anything to get

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out of this and you're just it's not just like oh these are like issues that i need to work on on

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it's it's it's deeper it's really really

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deep traumas and wounds that are coming up where you're so hurt that you just freeze

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so i'm actually really thankful that it came up during the rest lifestyle or rest intensive

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uh because it makes me just really desperate for jesus and for rest and to walk in his peace

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and to live by the spirit like he promised me a year and a half ago he would teach me and now

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i really have to um i really desperately need this it's not like i'm just trying to

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make this work and i can see this can helpful it's like no i'm desperate like i desperately

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need you and i desperately like i feel i desperately need peace yeah i desperately want

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this and um i want out of this and it's so painful that i lived in it for 20 years

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but i don't have to continue but it's in the same way it's a little bit of a road block so

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um so the last couple of days um after i wrote that text to you which it was good just to write

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you and just like here because i'm a verbal processor so you're kind of like okay this was

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done i'll tell ashley and then i'll process along with it and i knew we were going to talk and so

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then it has i felt like to some degree it has hit me the last couple of days after that that

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i can have rest in this intense situation and that there are still bitterness and resentment

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and victim mentality so i've spent time with jesus just emptying my heart of it

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and allowing the spirit into these wounds and just like what is

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these wounds? Why am I feeling like a victim? Why? Why do I

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feel like you're using me? Why do I feel? Why do I feel like,

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oh, you're just like a victim, and it just comes over you and

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you have no choice. And, and just, I felt like the spirit at

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some point actually rose up in me. And I really, I was feeling

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that I actually don't have to live like this, I can get out of

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this. And I, I have the right, because of Jesus was blood on

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the cross to live in rest. And if I was fully healed, and if I

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totally believed what Jesus says about me and about himself, how

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would I act towards this man in church, which has escalated into

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a lot of people in the church being involved, including the

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pastor and the pastor's wife, and other people have reacted

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against this guy and everything. So it just like, and I started

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the whole thing, or he? Yeah. So and then I thought, if I'm

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totally loved and secure, and if I'm not threatened, how would I

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see him? How would I react in this? And how would I react

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towards my students if I'm not threatened? And if I'm

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completely secure in God's love, and then I started to act

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out of that, then I'm going to trust this man, I'm going to

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give him the benefit of the doubt. If he says it's a

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misunderstanding, but I don't really believe it, then I'm

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going to trust what he says is true. Because that's what he

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says. And I'm not gonna, he said, he said it was a big

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misunderstanding. Okay. While me and the pastor and the rest of

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the church feels like he's judging us. But then he just

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said, yeah. So so then, but then I thought, I'm gonna affirm if I

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totally am loved, and I'm not, and I'm fully protected, I'm

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gonna trust him, I'm gonna trust the students. I'm gonna also

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put myself first, like you said, in the relationship with the

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students. And what do I need? Well, I need there to be a

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certain kind of the things like, I cannot, I will not tolerate

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this respectfulness or them going out of control. And

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because that's not good for me that that's not a healthy

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environment. So but I will affirm them, I will tell them

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that I believe in them, I will encourage them, and I will see

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them as they God sees them not the way they think about

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themselves. And so it just started a process of how will I

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act if I'm secure in love, which I'm still starting on and like,

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I haven't fully carried it out. But I started to address my

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students on Monday yesterday like this. And I started to

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think about this man and his wife in the church like this.

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And like, when I meet him, how to act. Yeah, that's amazing.

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That is amazing.

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I wanted to mention something while I'm thinking about it.

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Yes, about this, about this man. Now, I don't know, you know,

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everything that's going on or anything like that. But meaning

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like, other than what you've just said, but I wanted to just

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encourage you that, you know, because you're saying, well, you

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know, it's created this big issue. And, and at first, you

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misspoke, and you said, you know, based off of something I

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caused, you're like, well, I didn't really cause it, you

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know, he caused it, but it was based, it was triggered by da da

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da. And what can be really hard is in what is when we are

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basically kind of like a catalyst in a situation where we

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are carrying the kingdom of God, and we're carrying truth, and

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we're carrying light, we're carrying his spirit. And

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whenever we bring that into a situation, a situation that if

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in that situation, there are things that are not in

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alignment with that, those things tend to raise their ugly

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head, and they tend to act out. So the unalignment, the

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disalignment comes to the surface and becomes evident. So

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sometimes we can think that, oh, my word, and I know you're not

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saying this, but I'm just like making something up. Oh, my

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word, I cause problems wherever I go. And I'm not trying. Why

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do why do these things happen?

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Yeah, well, it can be just because you're carrying the spirit at the kingdom of God,

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the spirit of the Lord. And then when, when things that are not in alignment with that

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spirit come into contact with that spirit, then they act out. And so the, it's the,

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the people in the situations are being given an option of one of two things. For one thing,

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whenever something comes into the, into the presence of the spirit of God,

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then it's forced to make a choice. It's forced to choose to come into alignment or to leave.

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And so it can, and, um, well, I say that there's kind of like a third option of that,

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you know, it it's forced to make a choice in response to encountering the spirit of God.

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And it can, and sometimes it will come into alignment eventually, but as it does that,

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it depends on how child on the situate on the choices that they've made this far,

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but sometimes it can actually get uglier before it gets better. And so all of the

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unalignment comes to the surface and has to be dealt with. Um, you know, think about,

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I think about the different aspects of, of you when you are triggered into unrest,

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you know, your, your unrest is triggered in whatever that is like a microcosm of the same

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principle is like your spirit is in the same presence as your soul and your body. And your

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spirit is one with Christ and your soul and your body when it comes, when, when, um, uh,

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it's warring against the flesh and there's just kind of, and you're the ways in which you're not

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in alignment become heightened, right? But you're being given a choice is your soul and your body

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going to come into alignment or is it not? But while it's trying to come into alignment,

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you, I mean, if, if you're making, if you end up making that choice, it's messy,

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it doesn't feel good. You feel an unrest, you know, you're, you're struggling, you know,

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Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, he sweated blood because he was so stressed. So it can

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happen with people and with just creation as well is they is even though they're slowly coming into

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alignment, it can be a messy business of fighting and not feeling safe and not, and being afraid

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and did that. And so they're just kind of fighting and they're, it's working in there

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over a matter of time, they're, they're taking this journey of making this choice to come into

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alignment. And it's very rocky and trying to get there. And it takes a lot of like, for instance,

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your pastor or whatever, to father someone through that difficult, uh, messy bit, you know, kind of

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like what you are doing with your students. The other thing that can, the other choice that people

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can make is or creation or whatever is to not come into alignment. And when that happens,

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I've noticed that one of two things happen, either God removes them. Um, and he just, uh,

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because it's refusing to come into alignment, it's refusing to come into order and, um, an agreement.

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And so he'll eventually move them out or he'll remove them, you know, from you.

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The other thing that can happen is if it absolutely, if, if they absolutely refused

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to come into alignment, and this is usually something where the majority of what's going

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on is not in alignment, not just like one person, but like the majority of what's going on or a

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system that you're in is refusing to come into alignment. Usually it's something that's taking

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over the majority, the majority of the authority in this situation. Um, if that finally just

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absolutely refuses to come into alignment, God will remove you. So anyway, just FYI,

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that sometimes these things that happen are, are we, we can feel like, wait a minute,

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I've caused something, you know, I didn't mean to, but I did. Well, that's called a catalyst

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where something always existed. Something was always wrong. Something was always out of

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alignment. Something was always not in order, but then you came in and then everything just

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kind of exploded. Your presence is the presence of the spirit of God that caused everything to,

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to actually react. But everything that was, everything that reacted was already there.

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Nothing new was introduced. It was already there, but it didn't have.

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a catalyst to prompt the reaction. You know, it's the same way, you know, in, in chemistry,

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how you can have two chemicals, and they'll be in the same beaker, you know, the same bottle

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or whatever, and they're not reacting. But then you put some catalyst in there. I don't know,

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like say a bar of gold or a bar of something. And just the presence of that other metal

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causes the other two things to not react with the metal, but simply to finally react,

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sometimes very violently with each other, but not with the metal, not with the bar,

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not with the catalyst. But, but the, but the thing between the, but the reaction between

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the two solutions, the, between those two, like liquids or whatever, those two elements,

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that those two elements were always there, but they didn't react violently to each other.

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They didn't, you know, respond to each other until the catalyst was present. And they didn't

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respond to the catalyst. They didn't exchange ions or molecules or anything with the catalyst.

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It was just simply because the catalyst was there. It prompted a trick. It prompted triggered

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a reaction between the two solutions. So it's like that. So point is you probably have, you

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know, you may have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with what's happened. It's the fact that

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you brought in the spirit of the Lord and then something that was not in alignment,

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you know, was heightened and came to the surface. And it's now being given an opportunity, you know,

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in him, it's now being given an opportunity to to, to change and to make a different choice

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than what has been made this far. So anyway, this is just something that I was thinking about,

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but as encouragement that even though things can happen because of us, like a catalyst doesn't

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mean that it's our fault. It doesn't mean that we have created a problem. The problem was already

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there. It just wasn't coming to a head, meaning that it couldn't ever be dealt with and they

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couldn't ever be free. Yeah. You know? And so now they're being given a choice opportunity.

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That's very good way of describing it. I, I have been called a catalyst many times in my life

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before I even knew what it was. And I think this is one of the reasons why I end up blaming God

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is that these things tend to happen around me and everyone was fine. And then I say something

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and then things just go south and people react and all kinds of emotional things, manifest

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spiritual things. And then some often then God uses me or the situation to bring up things and

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to bring clarity or freedom. But then I'm left in shambles and I'm kind of feeling like I'm being

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used by God in that way of misuse. And I think that's what it triggered in me. Oh, I'm just being

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used again because everyone were fine in the church until I started to share from the pulpit

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how to do relationship, the kingdom way to live openly and brokenly and broken before people and

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let God come into the relationship and heal. And that's when all hell broke loose. And then I see

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that that's really helpful. What you're saying that things were actually there before. And he,

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this man was in the state that he wasn't before, but this just brought things up in him alive.

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And then it just seems like it's my fault. To me, it feels like it's my fault.

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Yeah. But it was what you're saying is that it kind of was there already.

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Yeah. Oh yeah. That's very evident. Yeah. Why do I feel like I'm being used?

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Why do you feel that you're being like, or what can I, why does this come up? Is that the

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mentality? Because actually it's great that God uses this and he used me as a catalyst. It's

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actually, wow, that's awesome. Why am I not super excited about it? Isn't because I end up in stress

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afterwards because I haven't fully learned to walk in rest.

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Because we feel that we're in this, when we're in this situation, we're not being protected by the

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Lord. We're being put in very dangerous situations, very vulnerable situations. And he's not, he's not

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being who he says that he is. That's what we're thinking. He's not providing for you. He's not

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protecting you. And so that's why we can begin to resent him is God, you're abusing me as opposed.

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to what's really happening. And this is what God, this is actually how God taught me about

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the whole like catalyst thing is I had gone through a, through a lawsuit with them. I

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was working for a company and I had these, these bosses and they were, they were sued.

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And then I was added by this, by the people who were suing them, I was added to the, to

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the lawsuit. And obviously none of us did it, did any of the things that they said that

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we did. In fact, once they realized that we weren't, that we hadn't done that and that

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we had proof that we hadn't done that, then they, they settled out of court, even without

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money being exchanged and everything after a year and a half of them, like doggedly going

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after us. And, and a, and my boss and his wife called me and they said, okay, Ashley, here's

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what the deal is. They finally decided to set a lot of court because they realized,

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you know, we have all of the evidence and, and, you know, to prove that we haven't done

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all this stuff, whatever. And cause it was about to go to jury trial and it had had just

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gone so far. And, and he said, but they've decided to set a lot of court and he said,

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you know, Ashley, it just feels so anticlimactic out of every, you know, after everything it

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is that they did to us, everything that they put us through, how they lied about us, how

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they, how they how they they got in between us and other jobs. And that they would always

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try to sabotage all of our other client, all of our relationship with other clients. And

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they did sometimes it actually worked sometimes, you know, it's like, Ashley, it's just very

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unfair, you know, the money that we've had to pour into lawyers, the way that we've been

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treated by the lawyers, you know, and, and everything. And he's like, I don't, I don't

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understand because this whole thing of like settling out of court without money being

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exchanged and simply the only requirement that was made of us was that we not ever tell

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anyone who they were. That was the only thing that was that they required in the, in the

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settlement was that we could not publicly tell anyone who has sued us, which is silly

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because it's public record, but there you go. So we're like, whatever. So he's like,

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actually, the plus very anticlimactic out of everything they put us through. Why don't

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we get it more? He didn't word it like this, but why don't we get more of a reward, you

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know, or why aren't they punished or, you know, whatever, even by the Lord, you know,

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what's going on. And so we hung up and I prayed and I asked God about it. And I said,

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you know, Lord, I'm fine with this for whatever reason, but you know, my boss is upset that

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in just disappointed. And so Lord, what's going on. And he said, Ashley, it was never

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about y'all meaning y'all is the Texas term. I mean, I know. Okay, good, good, good.

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Yeah. It's a good word. Everybody thinks English should know that word. But he's like,

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he said it, he said, it wasn't about y'all. He said, it was always about that other company

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and those other people. He said, there were things that needed to be dealt with, but he

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said, but he said, I could put you through this situation and you there as a catalyst

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to trigger and prompt something that was already in existence that needed to be brought to a head

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because he said, y'all could anchor yourselves in me and not be affected. You could go through

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this situation and hold on to me and, and allow yourselves to be used, not used as in like abused

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or used by God, like this tool is if like, we don't matter, not like that, but used as in like

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the good way that you're referring to as well. And so you can be used without being like abused

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or any, um, and without being, um, what's the word not affect, well, kind of without being affected

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without being corrupted, you know? Yeah. So anyway, that's what, um, that's what he said.

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And, and so the, the only way we're able to do that though, is if we trust our father and choose

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to believe that he's good, we have to choose to believe that he's good and that he's good to us.

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So, so that's one of the things that I would recommend to you is that you remember is that

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you choose and remember that you are, that God is good and he's good to you. He's good to you

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right now. It's not later.

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It's not, maybe it's not somebody else or some other time that he is good to you right now.

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And always, and it's in the, not believing that he's good, not believing he has who he says that he is.

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Not believing that he, that his love, not believing that he's protecting you, not believing that he's providing for you.

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That is what is going to prompt the, um, the feeling that, that he's, uh, that you're being abused and used disrespectfully that you're not safe because that's really where that whole being used feels like, uh, comes from is the feeling that

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we're just not safe with the Lord that we're alone, that he needs something to get done and someone needs to be the whipping boy.

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Someone needs to be the scapegoat.

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I don't know if you're familiar with a whipping boy.

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Okay.

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So with a whipping boy, with a scapegoat or whatever, and, um, and that were the ones that he chose instead of understanding that.

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That we could, that the reason that we're there is because he could trust us to continue to be in that situation without being corrupted and without, but without being corrupted by that spirit, that's coming against the spirit of God.

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And without, um, uh, what's the word, um, without, while still believing God that he is who he says that he is, we're entrusted with that.

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It takes a very, um, it takes a very, it's going to say a strong person, but a person that is strong in the Lord and in their relationship with him that can be trusted by the Lord to be in that situation and not be, and not change.

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The way that they view the Lord, have a relationship with him, et cetera.

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Um, the way that they see him, um, now it doesn't mean when I say that, that God trusts you, it doesn't mean that you always, um, uh, uh, that we always handle those situations perfectly.

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And we know what we're doing.

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It just means that he is giving you bit, um, like, in other words, it's not like, Oh, well, Hey, we're not, we're not going to, uh, how do I phrase it?

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I'll just phrase it in the old way.

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It's not like we're going to not mess up or that we're not going to struggle.

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Or that we're not going to struggle, you know, having faith in the Lord and we're

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not going to struggle, you know, trusting him and whatever it just means that.

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But so there's still a process that, that we get to benefit from in our

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relationship with him, there's still a process that this will take us through

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that will strengthen that with, that will strengthen, um, our belief in him

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will strengthen, um, our choice that he, and, and solidify even more our choice

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that he is, who he says that he is regardless of the situation.

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So God, God allows us the opportunity is during those situations as well to learn.

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So it's not like we learn everything before we go through this situation

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and God, like, see, see, I can trust you.

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You know, you've already done it now go do it.

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It doesn't so, but, um, I just mean, generally speaking, God's like, Hey,

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look, I trust you in this, you know, I trust my relationship at my reputation

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in your hands, I'm inviting you to carry me, I mean, care, meaning carry the

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spirit of God to carry me into those situations to bring me into those

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situations so that things can happen.

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That's part of how we co-create with the Lord.

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That's partly how we're having dominion in creation and freeing it is by bringing

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God himself into creation, into these various situations, interacting with

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these particular people that forced them.

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Now that they're in the presence of the spirit of God forces

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them to now make a choice.

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And it, and the, and the reason that that's good and not bad is because

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they're being given a choice to come out of slavery and into more freedom.

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Because the, the slavery that they're in is being highlighted by the fact that

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the presence of God is now there and it's being compared to it and every.

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thing that's not in alignment with it is becoming evident. And

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now that it's become evident, they can choose what are they

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going to do with it? Are they going to let it go? Or are they

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going to hold on to it? Hmm. But yeah, so that's why we feel

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abused. And all of that is we feel that God isn't, isn't being

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kind to us. He's not being good to us. He's not protecting us.

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He's just, he's, we're being used like a pawn. You know, and

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we have to choose in those situations. No, God, you said

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that that's not who you are, you said you're something different.

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And so that's what I'm going to choose that you are, I'm going

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to choose that you are who say that you are. And anyway, so in

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it's very hard and challenging to choose that in those

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situations. So it's not easy, but it is what God calls us to

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know. And, but then we can be in those situations and not be as

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affected. Because they can, it's like being in the storm, like

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with Jesus, where he's in the boat, and he's asleep. He's

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being knocked about and water's coming up over the sides. But

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he's still sleeping. He didn't feel the need to get up and to

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tell the storm to stop it. In other words, to change his

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environment so that he was no longer in that environment, and

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that he was no longer being affected by that environment. He

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just like, I get wet. If I get knocked around, he was like, I

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just need to go to sleep. He didn't find a need to change it.

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Because he was like, it doesn't it can do what it wants to do.

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Not everything calls for two.

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And I think that's, yeah, I think that's my follow up

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question is, what do I do now? Because you said I heard your

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teaching number nine today about governing relationships, knowing

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them in business. Oh, business. Yes. But you do touch on

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relationships, too. And I think suddenly, I have a problem with

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four people in the church in a way, I guess, this man and his

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wife, and then the guy that I like, and then the woman that

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rejected me. So that's right. Yeah, I know. And it's pretty

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smart. And what you said in that video was that you don't always

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have to fix the problems, or I am the problem solver, I and I

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don't like to be have a problem with someone, I want to fix

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things. And I want to, but then you spoke about that in, in the

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video. And I thought, that's interesting. Like, what does that

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mean? What do you do then? And how do I how I'm going to relate

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to this, and continue in the church with all these things

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going on, if I'm not supposed to fix it? And of course, they are

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touching hard things in my life. And yeah, and especially I think

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with this man that I still care about. Because I did. I did

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speak into his life, and he welcomed it. But then I talked

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to you about it last week about maybe you don't have a place.

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Like he's not inviting to into a place and having the facility,

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or you really have authority to speak into that. And I thought

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that I don't, because there's not going to be anything between

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us. And but then I was in so much stress over speaking into

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his life. I couldn't rest about it, and it came up, and I would

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give it to God and would come up again. So then I thought, I'm

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going to go where my soul feels rest. And that is asking, is

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everything okay? Because I was so stressed that I had hurt him

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or, or, or done something wrong, or said something wrong. And I

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couldn't get out of the stress and condemnation of it. So I

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wrote him again and asked, is everything okay? And he said,

409
00:39:27.880 --> 00:39:30.720
yes, it was good. It was helpful. And I need to deal

410
00:39:30.720 --> 00:39:33.600
with some of these things. But then also, he said things that

411
00:39:33.600 --> 00:39:36.400
made me think he doesn't really understand what it's about.

412
00:39:36.760 --> 00:39:41.640
Because he says, yes. Like, like he said, like, it's like he's

413
00:39:41.640 --> 00:39:45.160
dealing with the things up here about his behavior, but he's not

414
00:39:45.160 --> 00:39:49.120
dealing with what's causing it. And so every time he talks, I

415
00:39:49.120 --> 00:39:54.040
can hear him saying things here. Not very often does he talk

416
00:39:54.040 --> 00:39:57.840
about why is he actually doing it? What are the things he's

417
00:39:57.840 --> 00:40:00.040
being convicted of? What is

418
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.120
is really going on.

419
00:40:02.120 --> 00:40:05.800
And he has just said that he's understanding

420
00:40:05.800 --> 00:40:08.920
that he sees this and I'm addressing this.

421
00:40:08.920 --> 00:40:11.980
So he, but he's in the beginning of understanding that.

422
00:40:12.840 --> 00:40:16.480
And he says that that was really hard to hear

423
00:40:16.480 --> 00:40:18.640
like some of the things that I said,

424
00:40:18.640 --> 00:40:22.340
but he was okay about it and didn't have a problem with me.

425
00:40:22.340 --> 00:40:24.960
But I, and that just rattled me.

426
00:40:24.960 --> 00:40:26.680
I don't know, I was just so affected

427
00:40:26.680 --> 00:40:31.240
by that whole confront, not the confrontation

428
00:40:31.240 --> 00:40:32.740
but that exchange.

429
00:40:32.740 --> 00:40:37.080
And I guess also because I'm not over him

430
00:40:38.160 --> 00:40:42.040
I'm just so much confused about how am I gonna act?

431
00:40:42.040 --> 00:40:46.320
And also afraid that he wants to invite me into this part.

432
00:40:46.320 --> 00:40:49.240
And then I don't want to, but then of course

433
00:40:49.240 --> 00:40:52.060
a part of me wants to, but then I know it's not right.

434
00:40:52.060 --> 00:40:54.080
And I shouldn't, but how, what am I

435
00:40:54.080 --> 00:40:58.280
how am I going to respond if he invites me into that?

436
00:40:58.280 --> 00:40:59.800
Or how am I going to relate to him now?

437
00:40:59.800 --> 00:41:02.600
Because now we've had that talk

438
00:41:02.600 --> 00:41:04.760
where I have addressed a lot of issues

439
00:41:04.760 --> 00:41:05.840
and spoken into his life.

440
00:41:05.840 --> 00:41:08.360
He has received it to an extent

441
00:41:08.360 --> 00:41:10.760
and said that he needs to dig deeper.

442
00:41:11.600 --> 00:41:14.800
So what am I going to do now?

443
00:41:14.800 --> 00:41:18.440
And also, I guess with why am I not getting over him?

444
00:41:18.440 --> 00:41:20.480
Why am I in the church?

445
00:41:20.480 --> 00:41:22.860
Then probably I should have not been in the church

446
00:41:22.860 --> 00:41:27.860
and see him every week and been in so many chat groups

447
00:41:27.900 --> 00:41:30.100
and other meetings with him.

448
00:41:31.180 --> 00:41:33.820
But then, so I actually thought it was too hard

449
00:41:33.820 --> 00:41:35.980
for a human to be in that situation.

450
00:41:35.980 --> 00:41:37.900
So I was going to leave the church.

451
00:41:37.900 --> 00:41:39.620
And then God told me in August

452
00:41:39.620 --> 00:41:42.100
that he wanted me to go through it.

453
00:41:42.100 --> 00:41:46.620
And, but that was against my flesh and my feelings

454
00:41:46.620 --> 00:41:49.660
because it was painful just seeing him.

455
00:41:49.660 --> 00:41:52.000
And then that led to several victories.

456
00:41:52.000 --> 00:41:54.040
Like I said, like I come to worship

457
00:41:54.040 --> 00:41:55.800
and I receive everything from him.

458
00:41:55.800 --> 00:41:58.200
And it's just God, because in myself, I can't.

459
00:42:00.160 --> 00:42:02.400
So I've seen like God is walking me through,

460
00:42:02.400 --> 00:42:03.240
he's getting me through,

461
00:42:03.240 --> 00:42:08.240
but now it kind of got stirred up a lot again.

462
00:42:09.360 --> 00:42:11.880
And I haven't talked to him for nine months.

463
00:42:11.880 --> 00:42:14.800
And then we have this very deep conversation

464
00:42:14.800 --> 00:42:16.780
where I'm speaking into his life

465
00:42:16.780 --> 00:42:18.240
and I'm not getting over him.

466
00:42:18.240 --> 00:42:21.800
And I'm not, and I'm supposed to go through this in church,

467
00:42:25.120 --> 00:42:27.580
but I just don't know how.

468
00:42:30.480 --> 00:42:32.640
Well, those types of things can get,

469
00:42:32.640 --> 00:42:37.440
can be very confusing when, you know, we desire intimacy,

470
00:42:37.440 --> 00:42:40.880
meaning like really close connection with someone,

471
00:42:40.880 --> 00:42:45.880
but, and we're having it in a particular way,

472
00:42:46.480 --> 00:42:50.800
but we're not being given it or have it in the environment

473
00:42:50.800 --> 00:42:53.040
in which it was supposed to exist.

474
00:42:53.040 --> 00:42:56.800
So, you know, y'all aren't together anymore.

475
00:42:56.800 --> 00:42:58.440
You don't have that relationship.

476
00:42:58.440 --> 00:43:02.360
You don't even have, in a manner of speaking,

477
00:43:02.360 --> 00:43:05.700
manner of speaking, you don't even have a friendship,

478
00:43:05.700 --> 00:43:07.520
you know, because you're not interacting.

479
00:43:07.520 --> 00:43:09.000
I mean, meaning like, you're not like

480
00:43:09.000 --> 00:43:12.040
going to each other's houses and going to pizza,

481
00:43:12.040 --> 00:43:14.080
you know, and going to have pizza and stuff like that.

482
00:43:14.080 --> 00:43:15.560
You're not, you're not doing that.

483
00:43:16.240 --> 00:43:17.080
I mean, y'all are, you know,

484
00:43:17.080 --> 00:43:19.240
your brother and sister in Christ and your acquaintances,

485
00:43:19.240 --> 00:43:20.760
you know, each other and whatever,

486
00:43:20.760 --> 00:43:22.080
and you're not mean to each other.

487
00:43:22.080 --> 00:43:23.280
That's different though,

488
00:43:23.280 --> 00:43:26.360
than being a friend that you're investing in, you know?

489
00:43:26.360 --> 00:43:30.280
And, and so it can get very confusing in relationships

490
00:43:30.280 --> 00:43:33.560
if the level of intimacy that is,

491
00:43:35.680 --> 00:43:37.360
I don't, how would you put that?

492
00:43:37.360 --> 00:43:42.360
If the environment and the situation is not whole,

493
00:43:43.360 --> 00:43:47.760
is not creating a space and the proper,

494
00:43:50.120 --> 00:43:50.960
what would you call it?

495
00:43:50.960 --> 00:43:52.120
Not the proper setup,

496
00:43:52.120 --> 00:43:53.760
but just the proper environment

497
00:43:53.760 --> 00:43:55.880
for a certain level of intimacy.

498
00:43:55.880 --> 00:43:58.280
And yet that a certain level of intimacy

499
00:43:58.280 --> 00:44:00.480
is periodically accessed.

500
00:44:00.480 --> 00:44:01.760
Like what happened.

501
00:44:01.760 --> 00:44:03.680
Yeah, like what happened or whatever.

502
00:44:03.680 --> 00:44:07.000
It can create so much confusion

503
00:44:07.000 --> 00:44:12.000
because y'all are allowing a certain level of intimacy

504
00:44:12.520 --> 00:44:16.000
but there's no environment for that intimacy to exist

505
00:44:16.000 --> 00:44:17.360
and to be healthy.

506
00:44:17.360 --> 00:44:19.120
There's no place for it, you know,

507
00:44:19.120 --> 00:44:21.520
it's no place for it to like land.

508
00:44:21.520 --> 00:44:25.120
And so it can end up as weird as it sounds,

509
00:44:26.040 --> 00:44:30.720
it can end up hurting instead of helping.

510
00:44:30.720 --> 00:44:31.560
Yeah.

511
00:44:31.560 --> 00:44:35.360
Because that intimacy like that,

512
00:44:35.360 --> 00:44:38.440
speaking into each other's lives or like, you know,

513
00:44:38.440 --> 00:44:41.040
connecting on particular levels

514
00:44:41.080 --> 00:44:44.320
is something that is very, very valuable.

515
00:44:44.320 --> 00:44:46.640
It's extremely precious.

516
00:44:46.640 --> 00:44:51.160
And therefore you need an environment that is going to,

517
00:44:51.160 --> 00:44:55.000
in a situation that is going to appropriate,

518
00:44:55.000 --> 00:44:58.960
that is appropriate for that thing.

519
00:44:58.960 --> 00:45:00.040
Kind of like,

520
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:06.080
you're not going to keep your pearls in the compost pile.

521
00:45:06.080 --> 00:45:07.840
You know what a compost pile is?

522
00:45:07.840 --> 00:45:08.400
Yeah.

523
00:45:08.400 --> 00:45:10.560
You're not going to want to keep your pearls in the compost pile.

524
00:45:10.560 --> 00:45:14.000
You're going to keep it in a nice jewelry box with velvet

525
00:45:14.000 --> 00:45:16.480
so it doesn't get scratched and whatever.

526
00:45:16.480 --> 00:45:20.480
Why? Because that's appropriate for the level of value that it is

527
00:45:20.480 --> 00:45:23.440
because it also preserves and protects it.

528
00:45:23.440 --> 00:45:29.920
The compost pile is not just dirty and completely incongruent.

529
00:45:30.000 --> 00:45:33.440
With the pearls, it could, I mean, you know,

530
00:45:33.440 --> 00:45:37.760
it seems like it's something that over time could damage them.

531
00:45:38.720 --> 00:45:45.360
You know, and so anyway, it's, and whenever you have that dissonance,

532
00:45:46.400 --> 00:45:50.640
then it's going to create a lot of pain and a lot of confusion.

533
00:45:51.760 --> 00:45:54.880
That's why they talk about, for instance, on first dates

534
00:45:54.880 --> 00:45:57.760
that you only go so deep and you don't go deeper,

535
00:45:57.760 --> 00:46:02.320
even if you're both okay with it, because, you know,

536
00:46:02.320 --> 00:46:05.360
even if you're both okay with talking about things at such a deep level,

537
00:46:05.360 --> 00:46:08.560
because it can confuse the relationship

538
00:46:09.120 --> 00:46:12.080
and make everyone feel closer than they really are.

539
00:46:13.520 --> 00:46:17.040
And to feel more connected and more like they know each other

540
00:46:17.040 --> 00:46:19.040
than they actually really do.

541
00:46:19.040 --> 00:46:22.720
And so that's why, even though it can be consensual of like,

542
00:46:22.720 --> 00:46:24.800
hey, let's talk about these types of things.

543
00:46:24.800 --> 00:46:28.320
And it's just our first date doesn't mean that it's healthy

544
00:46:28.320 --> 00:46:32.960
because the environment to be able to hold such a precious thing isn't there.

545
00:46:33.760 --> 00:46:36.720
And it can just create more trouble and problems and whatever.

546
00:46:36.720 --> 00:46:38.400
So anyway, I was just kind of explaining,

547
00:46:38.400 --> 00:46:42.080
I just wanted to mention to you is probably why it,

548
00:46:42.080 --> 00:46:45.440
one of the reasons that it's creating so much pain and confusion

549
00:46:46.000 --> 00:46:47.920
is because there's a dissonance.

550
00:46:47.920 --> 00:46:51.760
It's like, hey, I don't want to have this relationship with them.

551
00:46:51.760 --> 00:46:53.360
I know that ultimately you do,

552
00:46:53.360 --> 00:46:56.480
but because he's not wanting it and you're not wanting,

553
00:46:56.480 --> 00:46:58.880
it's kind of like, hey, look, you know, I deserve to be wanted,

554
00:46:58.880 --> 00:46:59.680
you know, whatever.

555
00:46:59.680 --> 00:47:03.040
So it's like, okay, if you've realized, okay, it's not going to happen.

556
00:47:03.920 --> 00:47:05.280
You know, it's not happening.

557
00:47:05.280 --> 00:47:09.600
So therefore, and he doesn't get access to this other part of me.

558
00:47:10.720 --> 00:47:13.680
He didn't get access to me speaking into his life

559
00:47:13.680 --> 00:47:15.760
and him getting to benefit from it and whatever,

560
00:47:15.760 --> 00:47:19.360
because he's not creating an environment to cover

561
00:47:19.360 --> 00:47:24.800
and give me what it is that is appropriate and matching for this.

562
00:47:26.080 --> 00:47:32.320
And so anyway, it's, so what you're offering of yourself

563
00:47:32.320 --> 00:47:35.440
is very, very precious value that.

564
00:47:36.240 --> 00:47:39.600
So that's what I would recommend is that you,

565
00:47:40.560 --> 00:47:44.560
because it can be very, the easiest way to over,

566
00:47:46.160 --> 00:47:53.360
to overcome a real past relationship and feelings for someone is,

567
00:47:54.320 --> 00:48:00.880
is honestly not to like get mad and get angry and dah, dah, dah.

568
00:48:00.880 --> 00:48:06.080
All of those are kind of fake ways in which we can try to,

569
00:48:06.960 --> 00:48:11.040
to, in which we're trying to make ourselves feel good about ourselves

570
00:48:11.040 --> 00:48:12.960
is to put someone else down.

571
00:48:13.840 --> 00:48:14.560
Just mad at him.

572
00:48:15.520 --> 00:48:19.040
Now, sir, there's a process sometimes that like, just being mad at someone,

573
00:48:19.040 --> 00:48:20.400
you know, we're just going to go through that.

574
00:48:20.400 --> 00:48:23.120
But I'm just talking about like, from a spiritual perspective,

575
00:48:23.120 --> 00:48:24.960
we don't want to just continue to,

576
00:48:24.960 --> 00:48:27.680
we don't want to try to get over someone by,

577
00:48:27.680 --> 00:48:30.080
by thinking about how bad they are and just like,

578
00:48:30.080 --> 00:48:32.080
oh my word, they did this and they did that.

579
00:48:32.720 --> 00:48:39.280
But we want to accomplish the same thing that we're trying to accomplish

580
00:48:39.280 --> 00:48:42.080
with being mad, but we want to do it from a different perspective.

581
00:48:42.080 --> 00:48:46.000
What we want to do instead is we want to just value us.

582
00:48:46.800 --> 00:48:50.640
The reason why we typically get mad is because, I mean,

583
00:48:50.640 --> 00:48:53.120
just generally speaking, not, not every situation's like this,

584
00:48:53.120 --> 00:48:57.040
but generally speaking is the, the reason that we can do that

585
00:48:57.040 --> 00:49:00.880
is because we don't think we don't feel that we have enough value

586
00:49:00.880 --> 00:49:05.120
to just value us without making them lower first.

587
00:49:05.120 --> 00:49:08.640
That's the only way we can think of to value ourselves

588
00:49:08.640 --> 00:49:10.880
is to lower them in comparison.

589
00:49:10.880 --> 00:49:13.600
Then it raises us up in comparison,

590
00:49:13.600 --> 00:49:15.280
and then we can feel better about ourselves.

591
00:49:15.280 --> 00:49:16.320
And God's like, no, no, no.

592
00:49:17.040 --> 00:49:20.160
Even without putting them down, you're already up here.

593
00:49:20.800 --> 00:49:21.840
You don't have to put them down.

594
00:49:22.720 --> 00:49:25.920
And so just, just value who it is that you actually are.

595
00:49:26.480 --> 00:49:29.840
And by doing that, it's actually easier to get over somebody.

596
00:49:30.880 --> 00:49:37.120
So the issue, and what I think is, is one of the reasons,

597
00:49:37.120 --> 00:49:40.160
or maybe the reason it's at least part of,

598
00:49:40.160 --> 00:49:44.000
if not the reason why you're struggling to get over this guy

599
00:49:44.800 --> 00:49:47.520
is a lack of value of yourself.

600
00:49:48.560 --> 00:49:51.280
And so choose that.

601
00:49:51.280 --> 00:49:53.120
You remember how, what we keep going back to,

602
00:49:53.120 --> 00:49:57.120
you know, choose that you are who God says that you are.

603
00:49:58.000 --> 00:49:59.280
Choose that for yourself.

604
00:49:59.280 --> 00:50:00.240
In other words.

605
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.120
Make it your reality.

606
00:50:02.120 --> 00:50:06.520
Choose that that is actually the reality of the world

607
00:50:06.520 --> 00:50:10.720
in which you exist, in which you get up into every,

608
00:50:10.720 --> 00:50:15.640
in which you get up and live every day, is that reality.

609
00:50:15.640 --> 00:50:17.720
You're gonna have to choose it.

610
00:50:17.720 --> 00:50:20.120
You're gonna have to choose that it's truth.

611
00:50:20.120 --> 00:50:22.400
You're gonna have to claim it as your truth

612
00:50:22.400 --> 00:50:24.960
because it won't knock you over the head

613
00:50:24.960 --> 00:50:26.840
and prove itself to you.

614
00:50:26.840 --> 00:50:29.880
You have to choose that it's true first

615
00:50:29.880 --> 00:50:31.680
and then it'll become evident

616
00:50:33.120 --> 00:50:36.760
because in order for the evidence to come,

617
00:50:36.760 --> 00:50:39.000
it needs your faith.

618
00:50:39.000 --> 00:50:42.680
So if we're waiting around for the evidence

619
00:50:42.680 --> 00:50:45.280
in order to give us the faith

620
00:50:45.280 --> 00:50:49.360
and the evidence needs our faith in order to be created,

621
00:50:49.360 --> 00:50:52.240
so in other words, it's created by our faith

622
00:50:52.240 --> 00:50:54.680
and we're waiting on the evidence before we have the faith,

623
00:50:54.680 --> 00:50:56.800
then we're gonna be waiting for forever

624
00:50:56.800 --> 00:51:01.160
because we create the evidence with our faith.

625
00:51:02.480 --> 00:51:05.400
So we have to have the faith first before the evidence.

626
00:51:05.400 --> 00:51:10.400
I talk more about all of this in detail in session 12,

627
00:51:11.400 --> 00:51:13.720
I think, the power of intention.

628
00:51:13.720 --> 00:51:16.080
And I talk about that where I talk about

629
00:51:16.080 --> 00:51:18.360
the masculine and the feminine coming together

630
00:51:18.360 --> 00:51:20.600
and having a baby, it's this idea.

631
00:51:20.600 --> 00:51:23.680
It's that God gives a word.

632
00:51:23.680 --> 00:51:25.960
In other words, he gives truth

633
00:51:25.960 --> 00:51:28.560
and we have to receive it by faith

634
00:51:28.560 --> 00:51:31.840
in order for something to actually manifest,

635
00:51:31.840 --> 00:51:36.400
in order for something to actually prove

636
00:51:36.400 --> 00:51:39.120
that God's word existed.

637
00:51:39.120 --> 00:51:42.920
We have to believe it in order for the proof

638
00:51:42.920 --> 00:51:47.560
to show up in physical form or whatever.

639
00:51:47.560 --> 00:51:50.000
So it's the same thing with this.

640
00:51:50.000 --> 00:51:53.560
If you want to, in order, God's saying that you're valued.

641
00:51:53.560 --> 00:51:56.480
So you have to choose that you're valued

642
00:51:56.480 --> 00:52:01.120
before you'll feel like you see evidence of it in your life,

643
00:52:01.120 --> 00:52:04.720
before you feel like you can see it everywhere,

644
00:52:04.720 --> 00:52:07.040
before you can feel like, before you can feel it,

645
00:52:07.040 --> 00:52:08.800
before you can believe it,

646
00:52:08.800 --> 00:52:12.160
you have to choose that it's actually reality.

647
00:52:12.160 --> 00:52:14.240
And you have to choose it to the point

648
00:52:14.240 --> 00:52:16.600
where it feels like you're making something up.

649
00:52:17.560 --> 00:52:21.480
I mean, that's how it will feel when you're choosing it.

650
00:52:21.480 --> 00:52:23.920
It won't be logical.

651
00:52:23.920 --> 00:52:25.960
It will not feel right.

652
00:52:27.280 --> 00:52:30.720
It will feel like you are denying reality

653
00:52:30.720 --> 00:52:32.600
and making up a different reality.

654
00:52:33.480 --> 00:52:35.800
But what you're doing is you're choosing

655
00:52:35.800 --> 00:52:37.160
that what God says is true.

656
00:52:37.160 --> 00:52:40.920
That's the only basis that you're having for your choice,

657
00:52:40.920 --> 00:52:42.520
which feels very risky.

658
00:52:42.520 --> 00:52:44.240
It feels very rocky.

659
00:52:44.240 --> 00:52:47.080
It's just like, can I do that?

660
00:52:47.080 --> 00:52:49.480
I don't know that it's gonna actually,

661
00:52:49.480 --> 00:52:50.720
I don't know that it's actually true

662
00:52:51.400 --> 00:52:52.320
because again, we're like, yeah,

663
00:52:52.320 --> 00:52:53.840
but I don't see evidence, whatever.

664
00:52:53.840 --> 00:52:56.120
So anyway, I just wanted to remind you

665
00:52:56.120 --> 00:52:57.320
when I'm telling you,

666
00:52:57.320 --> 00:52:59.920
you have to choose that you are valuable.

667
00:52:59.920 --> 00:53:02.880
You have to choose that you are who God says that you are.

668
00:53:02.880 --> 00:53:07.880
It's an intentional choice that you're not going to,

669
00:53:08.760 --> 00:53:11.040
you're not going to see right away.

670
00:53:11.040 --> 00:53:12.800
You're not gonna believe it.

671
00:53:12.800 --> 00:53:15.640
You're gonna have to make it true to yourself.

672
00:53:16.520 --> 00:53:19.920
And then, but it's extremely powerful.

673
00:53:19.920 --> 00:53:22.920
And when you do that, it's going to help you

674
00:53:22.920 --> 00:53:25.080
in so many other areas of your life.

675
00:53:26.080 --> 00:53:29.840
It's gonna, and because that's another reason why,

676
00:53:29.840 --> 00:53:32.080
going back to the thing that you said earlier,

677
00:53:32.080 --> 00:53:33.280
why do I feel abused?

678
00:53:33.280 --> 00:53:34.760
Why do I feel used?

679
00:53:34.760 --> 00:53:37.280
Is we don't feel valuable.

680
00:53:37.280 --> 00:53:39.400
We feel like we're just like this thing

681
00:53:39.400 --> 00:53:42.720
that God can throw at whatever situation it needs fixing

682
00:53:42.720 --> 00:53:44.760
because we're expendable.

683
00:53:46.640 --> 00:53:48.760
And that's not true.

684
00:53:48.760 --> 00:53:51.560
God's purpose in putting us in situations

685
00:53:51.560 --> 00:53:54.560
is because actually we're valuable enough

686
00:53:54.560 --> 00:53:58.040
and powerful enough, not on our own, but in Him,

687
00:53:58.040 --> 00:54:00.240
that being in Christ, being one with Christ,

688
00:54:00.240 --> 00:54:04.520
our spirit being conjoined with Christ is so powerful

689
00:54:04.520 --> 00:54:07.240
that He can use us in those situations.

690
00:54:07.240 --> 00:54:11.560
It's a position of freeing,

691
00:54:11.560 --> 00:54:16.560
of us having the co-creating with the Lord,

692
00:54:16.960 --> 00:54:20.680
a freedom into creation that enables,

693
00:54:20.680 --> 00:54:25.680
that gives Him the desire and the need, whatever,

694
00:54:27.360 --> 00:54:29.400
of putting us into a situation,

695
00:54:29.400 --> 00:54:31.520
not, hey, I need to get this fixed

696
00:54:31.520 --> 00:54:35.480
and I'll allow Renata to,

697
00:54:35.480 --> 00:54:37.280
I'll put Renata in this situation

698
00:54:37.280 --> 00:54:40.200
so that that situation will be fixed

699
00:54:40.200 --> 00:54:45.200
and Renata can just bear all the consequences.

700
00:54:45.280 --> 00:54:49.400
And remember that if God is gonna put you there

701
00:54:50.720 --> 00:54:53.600
and if it's your spirit that you're,

702
00:54:53.600 --> 00:54:57.600
if it's His spirit that you're bringing,

703
00:54:57.600 --> 00:54:59.600
then He bears the consequences.

704
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:08.640
does not allow you to bear consequences of something that is responding to his spirit

705
00:55:08.640 --> 00:55:14.000
within you. And I wish I could remember where that was. I don't remember if it was Philippians

706
00:55:14.000 --> 00:55:23.320
or whatever, talking about how we suffer for Christ and blessed is he who is, uh, how did,

707
00:55:23.320 --> 00:55:30.240
how is it phrased? Um, but that, that, uh, joins Christ in his sufferings and suffers

708
00:55:30.240 --> 00:55:34.360
like Jesus did. You remember how it talks like it talks about that. I wish I could remember

709
00:55:34.360 --> 00:55:39.120
how it phrases that, but I don't know, it's Philippians or something like that. And, but

710
00:55:39.120 --> 00:55:48.920
it talks about, you know, how it's a blessing when we suffer things for Christ. Um, it's

711
00:55:48.920 --> 00:55:54.760
in the only, and the only way that that is, is because it's just like, well, you know,

712
00:55:54.760 --> 00:56:00.600
it's not because, oh, well, I don't know. That would kind of be like a longer, bigger

713
00:56:00.600 --> 00:56:07.600
subject, but I think that you understand what I'm saying. Um, and, uh, so it's so many things

714
00:56:07.600 --> 00:56:14.360
come back to our lack of value of ourselves, case in point, your issues with your students,

715
00:56:14.760 --> 00:56:20.280
uh, your, you know, the, the, the hurt that you're experiencing in church, by the way,

716
00:56:20.280 --> 00:56:24.840
your issues with your students. I'm not saying that the issues are coming up because you don't

717
00:56:24.840 --> 00:56:30.440
value yourself. I'm saying that the reason you're struggling with it, that's, those are the

718
00:56:30.440 --> 00:56:36.440
students that is their background. Those are their choices to cause problems. You know, it's not on

719
00:56:36.440 --> 00:56:41.320
you, but I'm talking about the pain, the angst, the struggle, all of that, that you're dealing

720
00:56:41.320 --> 00:56:44.760
with with your students, the issues that you're dealing with, with the relationships with people

721
00:56:44.760 --> 00:56:49.720
in your church. And it's just kind of like, why, why am I always being used like this? Lord,

722
00:56:49.720 --> 00:56:56.680
why do I have to bear like negative or like relation, uh, relationship or reputation consequences

723
00:56:57.480 --> 00:57:05.400
for what it is that I'm, um, uh, for, you know, being who I am and, and just, um, um, I don't

724
00:57:05.400 --> 00:57:10.040
know, interacting with other people. Why do all of these things happen? And it's this lack of,

725
00:57:10.600 --> 00:57:18.600
of believing that we are who God says that we are. So if you change that at a very root level,

726
00:57:18.600 --> 00:57:23.960
in other words, if you choose it at a very root level, then so many things really will change

727
00:57:23.960 --> 00:57:34.040
because here's the thing you have, what you have the healing and the, and the key to unlock the

728
00:57:34.120 --> 00:57:42.600
freedom that that situation is crying out for. And if you are focused all of your energy on trying

729
00:57:42.600 --> 00:57:50.120
to protect yourself by your own worry, your own fear, your, um, your self pity, you know,

730
00:57:50.920 --> 00:57:55.800
all of those things and like, Oh my focused on like, God, where are you? Why aren't you helping

731
00:57:55.880 --> 00:58:05.000
me? What, you know, if we're doing that, then we don't, then we're not, we don't have any energy

732
00:58:05.800 --> 00:58:10.200
and by energy, I don't mean sweat. I just mean focus. I just mean like, we're so focused on

733
00:58:10.200 --> 00:58:15.080
something else that we're not shifting ourselves into the position that God says that we're in

734
00:58:15.720 --> 00:58:22.760
and able to bring something positive into the situation to heal it, to free it. We're so

735
00:58:22.760 --> 00:58:28.280
focused on what it is that we're receiving from the situation, like all of the attacks,

736
00:58:28.280 --> 00:58:33.960
all of the hurt, all of the pain. And we're just focused on like trying to handle and manage that,

737
00:58:35.400 --> 00:58:38.440
that we're kind of like in management mode or in survival mode,

738
00:58:39.320 --> 00:58:48.440
that it doesn't have any opportunity to heal or to change because we are the ones that have

739
00:58:48.440 --> 00:58:54.920
what is needed for it to change. We're the ones who have what is needed to be brought

740
00:58:54.920 --> 00:59:00.840
into the situation to provide healing so that it'll stop. Kind of like that whole thing of

741
00:59:00.840 --> 00:59:05.560
like, you know, where Jesus, you know, talked to the storm and you said, you know, peace, be still

742
00:59:05.560 --> 00:59:11.400
or whatever. It's just, we have what's needed, but if we're so focused, like the disciples,

743
00:59:11.400 --> 00:59:15.000
remember what Jesus said, as soon as he told that, told the wind in the ways, you know, peace,

744
00:59:15.000 --> 00:59:20.280
be still. And he just said, and he just turned to the disciples and he was just like, and I don't

745
00:59:20.280 --> 00:59:25.720
remember the exact phrase, but cause I think that this phrase was when that he used was with Peter

746
00:59:25.720 --> 00:59:29.800
later walking on the water. But basically the idea was, you know, Oh, you have little faith

747
00:59:30.520 --> 00:59:35.320
talking to the disciples. And he's just like, and, and, you know, he was basically saying,

748
00:59:35.320 --> 00:59:40.200
Oh, look, you were not under threat. You have the authority, you know,

749
00:59:41.160 --> 00:59:47.960
And you could have done this yourself, you know, but but anyway, the, so

750
00:59:50.200 --> 00:59:57.800
if we remember that we are who God says that we are, we choose that. And we choose that instead

751
00:59:57.800 --> 00:59:59.800
of, instead of believing.

752
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:01.920
that we're not protected by God.

753
01:00:01.920 --> 01:00:04.360
And we're just focused on protecting ourselves

754
01:00:04.360 --> 01:00:09.040
and just managing our pain, you know,

755
01:00:09.040 --> 01:00:14.040
and then we aren't actually providing

756
01:00:15.640 --> 01:00:19.120
what the situation needs in order to heal.

757
01:00:19.120 --> 01:00:22.920
So it's fascinating that God ends up using

758
01:00:22.920 --> 01:00:24.960
the people that received them.

759
01:00:24.960 --> 01:00:27.520
And I see this over and over and over and over and over

760
01:00:27.520 --> 01:00:28.960
and over and over again,

761
01:00:28.960 --> 01:00:33.960
even in non-believers, how God will use the very people

762
01:00:35.000 --> 01:00:40.000
that received the most attacks,

763
01:00:40.560 --> 01:00:42.880
most consequences or whatever,

764
01:00:43.840 --> 01:00:48.840
to actually bring healing and new revelation

765
01:00:53.040 --> 01:00:58.040
and freedom to the very situations and people

766
01:00:58.080 --> 01:01:01.120
that had hurt them.

767
01:01:02.120 --> 01:01:05.760
They turn around and be their savior, if you will.

768
01:01:07.600 --> 01:01:10.600
And that even is what I watched that even with non-believers.

769
01:01:12.080 --> 01:01:16.320
So it's interesting how the Lord uses that.

770
01:01:16.320 --> 01:01:17.160
Absolutely.

771
01:01:18.640 --> 01:01:20.760
But yeah, so the thing is that you,

772
01:01:20.760 --> 01:01:23.120
my point is you have something,

773
01:01:23.120 --> 01:01:25.600
you are very, very valuable.

774
01:01:25.760 --> 01:01:30.760
You're not a victim that's the weak link in the church

775
01:01:32.800 --> 01:01:36.200
that causes these problems, that whatever.

776
01:01:36.200 --> 01:01:40.480
You are being moved by God in him,

777
01:01:40.480 --> 01:01:45.480
in something that the rest of the church needs.

778
01:01:46.560 --> 01:01:48.560
And it's often,

779
01:01:48.560 --> 01:01:53.560
it's, oh, what's the word?

780
01:01:54.520 --> 01:01:57.200
You can often tell, not always,

781
01:01:57.200 --> 01:02:02.200
but you can often tell who it is by who is being,

782
01:02:07.080 --> 01:02:10.800
I don't know, attacked a lot and all that.

783
01:02:10.800 --> 01:02:13.320
Not necessarily, it's not like a perfect science

784
01:02:13.320 --> 01:02:16.680
or whatever, but it very often happens.

785
01:02:16.680 --> 01:02:21.680
So anyway, so is all of this making-

786
01:02:21.960 --> 01:02:26.800
Yeah, and I'm realizing that you think maybe,

787
01:02:26.800 --> 01:02:30.000
I'm thinking that I probably shouldn't have had the talk

788
01:02:30.000 --> 01:02:32.560
with him in the first place at all.

789
01:02:32.560 --> 01:02:35.280
Maybe that's a big thing that threw me off.

790
01:02:35.280 --> 01:02:39.200
That's what I'm thinking when you're talking now about-

791
01:02:39.200 --> 01:02:40.360
Yeah, and-

792
01:02:40.360 --> 01:02:44.520
And I've been spending nine months to get over him

793
01:02:44.600 --> 01:02:47.680
and having safe boundaries and living healthily

794
01:02:47.680 --> 01:02:52.680
and being connected with him very politely and surface.

795
01:02:54.160 --> 01:02:59.040
And then suddenly I go super deep with him.

796
01:02:59.040 --> 01:03:00.760
So maybe just the whole,

797
01:03:00.760 --> 01:03:04.000
and maybe that wasn't my place in the first time.

798
01:03:04.000 --> 01:03:08.160
And that's what created a lot of the emotional turmoil.

799
01:03:10.720 --> 01:03:12.560
Yeah, it's horrible.

800
01:03:13.400 --> 01:03:14.520
What?

801
01:03:14.520 --> 01:03:16.680
It just makes me feel so bad.

802
01:03:16.680 --> 01:03:20.640
No, so that's what I was gonna say is that,

803
01:03:20.640 --> 01:03:23.960
I mean, maybe it's one of those things that wasn't,

804
01:03:25.280 --> 01:03:28.920
because I don't know, that's between you and God

805
01:03:28.920 --> 01:03:30.320
and he knows these things

806
01:03:30.320 --> 01:03:32.040
and he has a point of all of these things.

807
01:03:32.040 --> 01:03:37.040
And so maybe like if it wasn't wise,

808
01:03:37.400 --> 01:03:42.400
it can still not be something that like is,

809
01:03:43.920 --> 01:03:46.000
like just messes everything up.

810
01:03:47.280 --> 01:03:51.320
It can actually be something,

811
01:03:51.320 --> 01:03:55.720
because remember God uses all things for good

812
01:03:55.720 --> 01:03:56.680
to those who love him,

813
01:03:56.680 --> 01:03:58.760
to those who are called according to his purpose.

814
01:03:58.760 --> 01:04:02.840
So even if we do things, we're like, oh my word,

815
01:04:02.840 --> 01:04:05.760
well, that just set off this chain reaction.

816
01:04:06.080 --> 01:04:08.760
Chain reaction, that I really didn't wanna deal with,

817
01:04:08.760 --> 01:04:10.560
or now I'm in this situation, whatever.

818
01:04:10.560 --> 01:04:13.400
And we have a tendency to view things like,

819
01:04:13.400 --> 01:04:16.840
oh, I made a wrong turn somewhere.

820
01:04:16.840 --> 01:04:20.200
And this is just like, I don't know, just really bad.

821
01:04:20.200 --> 01:04:21.760
Well, God's just like, hey, you know what?

822
01:04:21.760 --> 01:04:22.920
We work this out.

823
01:04:22.920 --> 01:04:25.120
We just kinda, we just adjust.

824
01:04:25.120 --> 01:04:29.040
It means you took that, you taking that turn

825
01:04:29.040 --> 01:04:31.320
means that we simply have to adjust.

826
01:04:32.120 --> 01:04:35.880
And in the adjustment, you gain so much,

827
01:04:35.880 --> 01:04:38.680
you gain something special from the Lord.

828
01:04:38.680 --> 01:04:41.680
You gain something special in your relationship with him.

829
01:04:41.680 --> 01:04:45.320
Again, he works it all out for good to those who love him.

830
01:04:45.320 --> 01:04:50.120
So now you say, what if there is a potential

831
01:04:50.120 --> 01:04:53.760
for a worse situation down the road

832
01:04:53.760 --> 01:04:56.480
that you could have gotten yourself into?

833
01:04:56.480 --> 01:04:59.480
But because you've gone through this situation,

834
01:04:59.480 --> 01:05:00.320
you learned.

835
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:07.200
in this way, that's not as damaging and hurtful and painful as that situation would have been

836
01:05:07.200 --> 01:05:13.200
down the road if you would have done it then. And, but because she'd applied it now, but because

837
01:05:13.200 --> 01:05:20.560
you learned it now in this maybe safer situation, you know, that didn't bear as much pain as that

838
01:05:20.560 --> 01:05:26.640
one would have. By the time you get to this one, you make a different choice. Yeah. I mean, so,

839
01:05:26.640 --> 01:05:36.800
so the thing is that what you can always do is, is remember God is good and so are you. So,

840
01:05:39.040 --> 01:05:47.120
so you just in, how would you word that? It's like you thank God for,

841
01:05:47.120 --> 01:05:59.280
for who he is and has shown up to be in your situations. Even if instead of getting all,

842
01:05:59.280 --> 01:06:04.720
instead of viewing them from such a negative perspective of, oh, I shouldn't have done that.

843
01:06:04.720 --> 01:06:09.520
This shouldn't have happened. It's caused all these problems or whatever. Instead of viewing

844
01:06:09.520 --> 01:06:15.360
it from that perspective, thank the Lord for his redemption of it. Thank the Lord for how he's

845
01:06:15.440 --> 01:06:22.960
using it. Value what it is that the Lord is, is how the Lord is going to use it and what the,

846
01:06:22.960 --> 01:06:30.240
how the Lord is choosing to see, to see it and, and what he's teaching you about himself in it,

847
01:06:30.240 --> 01:06:38.960
et cetera. Value that, value what God is giving you of your, of himself and you, and then,

848
01:06:38.960 --> 01:06:44.240
and then greater and deeper intimacy of the two of you, you know, you and God together.

849
01:06:45.360 --> 01:06:49.600
Instead of focusing on, oh, I shouldn't have done that. You know, oh my word,

850
01:06:49.600 --> 01:06:53.600
I caused this problem, you know, blaming myself. Remember no shame, no condemnation.

851
01:06:54.240 --> 01:06:59.120
And the more, as weird as that sounds, the more that we focus on the positive of those types of

852
01:06:59.120 --> 01:07:05.920
things, the more that we focus, the more that we're great, that we in gratitude, thank the Lord

853
01:07:05.920 --> 01:07:12.480
for things that here that up to this point, we've, we've viewed as negative. The more that the more

854
01:07:12.480 --> 01:07:22.400
powerful, powerfully, the Lord can use those instances in our lives. And the more intimate

855
01:07:22.400 --> 01:07:27.120
that we can get with the Lord, the stronger we can develop relationship. He really, really, really,

856
01:07:27.120 --> 01:07:36.240
really, really values and appreciates gratitude. And he uses it very powerfully. It's it's we're

857
01:07:36.240 --> 01:07:48.560
not trying to give ourselves some kind of a, how would you word that? I don't know. We're

858
01:07:48.560 --> 01:07:57.120
not trying to like deny reality. We're not trying to kind of go through life like a Pollyanna,

859
01:07:57.120 --> 01:08:04.560
like everything's just fine. It's optimistic and denying what's really going on. You're actually

860
01:08:04.560 --> 01:08:16.960
just choosing God's redemption of everything and choosing to focus on and receive and to apply the

861
01:08:16.960 --> 01:08:21.920
meaning that in other words, you're, you're choosing that the meaning of what happened

862
01:08:22.880 --> 01:08:32.640
is the redemption as opposed to the negative that set off this series of, of, you know,

863
01:08:32.640 --> 01:08:41.680
actions, you know, you're choosing to receive it in its redemption. And God loves that. He loves

864
01:08:41.680 --> 01:08:47.279
that won't that we choose the meaning of an event to be his redemption of it.

865
01:08:49.279 --> 01:08:58.800
As opposed to it being a bad thing that brought bad things. He loves it. It's extremely powerful.

866
01:08:58.800 --> 01:09:05.920
You coming into agreement with that breaks with him in that and with his redemption and choosing

867
01:09:05.920 --> 01:09:16.880
that as the meaning of it to you breaks has a very powerful spiritual impact and greatly breaks.

868
01:09:17.439 --> 01:09:19.520
I don't know, whatever you call it.

869
01:09:22.640 --> 01:09:32.240
Breaks the chains of, of, you know, in the spirit and, and the power of things over you, whatever.

870
01:09:38.000 --> 01:09:42.880
So good. Yeah. I think I need to watch this again,

871
01:09:43.200 --> 01:09:50.960
but I'm getting 50% of what you're saying. Yeah. But I also, I mean, I can tell that it stresses

872
01:09:50.960 --> 01:09:58.240
me to hear it. You felt like there's something to do. Yes. I think there's something to do.

873
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.120
a condemnation or but then what I'm hearing is that God will

874
01:10:04.120 --> 01:10:08.520
even use it and like use it. This Okay, maybe you did

875
01:10:08.520 --> 01:10:14.400
something wrong. But be thankful for what he's because of this is

876
01:10:14.800 --> 01:10:26.880
leading you through like, be thankful that he that that it's

877
01:10:29.880 --> 01:10:35.760
like you said to not be it doesn't have to be something

878
01:10:35.800 --> 01:10:39.080
worse could have happened but he's like, like he's like in

879
01:10:39.080 --> 01:10:42.480
this even though it whether you did a mistake or not, or maybe

880
01:10:42.480 --> 01:10:47.800
whatever. He is using it to bring you through it and

881
01:10:47.800 --> 01:10:50.120
understand and give you an understanding and who knows what

882
01:10:50.120 --> 01:10:52.480
could have happened if you're not learning this at this point.

883
01:10:53.040 --> 01:10:57.560
Yeah. And to look at it as a perspective of grace, like he's

884
01:10:58.280 --> 01:11:02.080
he's having a lot of grace on you through it, whether it was

885
01:11:02.080 --> 01:11:02.960
a mistake or not.

886
01:11:03.000 --> 01:11:06.640
Yeah. And that he's actually creating it to be a very good

887
01:11:06.640 --> 01:11:10.640
thing, a very positive impact in your life instead of a negative

888
01:11:10.640 --> 01:11:15.920
one. And I am learning from it. Yeah, that he's actually making

889
01:11:15.920 --> 01:11:20.800
it a good thing that happened, as opposed to a bad thing.

890
01:11:22.280 --> 01:11:28.240
That's what kind of what I mean. Yeah. So and then there's and

891
01:11:28.240 --> 01:11:33.640
remember, there's not anything to do. It's actually all of the

892
01:11:33.640 --> 01:11:37.800
things that you're doing right now, that you're feeling that

893
01:11:37.800 --> 01:11:44.400
you are meaning like, that the the the resistance to Oh, my

894
01:11:44.400 --> 01:11:49.240
goodness, I, I, I'm, you know, I don't know.

895
01:11:50.480 --> 01:11:54.200
I think that I'm feeling that I need to, because I, I did

896
01:11:54.200 --> 01:11:57.680
mistakes. And then I found out he's not interested. And I'm

897
01:11:57.680 --> 01:12:02.480
protecting myself. And I've been walking in it. And also making

898
01:12:02.480 --> 01:12:06.000
my stand, like, you can come this but not further. And I've

899
01:12:06.000 --> 01:12:09.880
been really firm in it. And then I just suddenly opened the

900
01:12:09.880 --> 01:12:13.560
floodgates and totally let him in. And then he thinks maybe

901
01:12:13.560 --> 01:12:19.000
that now, we can be at this level. Okay, with it. And then

902
01:12:19.120 --> 01:12:22.680
I'm afraid, what do I need to do now? Does that mean that? So

903
01:12:22.680 --> 01:12:25.160
that means that it will be a new confrontation where he actually

904
01:12:25.160 --> 01:12:28.680
now I opened up for something that I didn't want to. And now

905
01:12:28.680 --> 01:12:31.920
he thinks everything's open. And I can, we can meet at this

906
01:12:31.920 --> 01:12:35.880
emotional level. But I but now I'm seeing like, no, I shouldn't

907
01:12:35.880 --> 01:12:40.840
have I was hurt by this. I feel horrible afterwards. So now I

908
01:12:40.840 --> 01:12:48.280
need to make this full work to close up again. And oh, I see.

909
01:12:48.640 --> 01:12:50.480
So that's why I'm like, Oh, my gosh.

910
01:12:50.800 --> 01:12:54.720
Are you saying close up again, like with him or close up again

911
01:12:54.720 --> 01:12:55.680
within yourself?

912
01:12:56.080 --> 01:12:59.560
Like put boundaries around myself, and that it's not okay

913
01:12:59.560 --> 01:13:02.120
to communicate emotionally at this level.

914
01:13:02.400 --> 01:13:06.760
Oh, okay. Yes. That's what I'm saying is that value yourself.

915
01:13:06.800 --> 01:13:09.720
And it's easier to do that, because that comes naturally out

916
01:13:09.720 --> 01:13:11.840
of valuing yourself, because then you're not going to give

917
01:13:11.840 --> 01:13:14.520
away something precious to a situation that doesn't treat it

918
01:13:14.520 --> 01:13:21.600
as precious. Yeah. And, and so it's not. Now, this may not be

919
01:13:21.600 --> 01:13:25.080
what you're asking. But just in case, it is, there's just a

920
01:13:25.080 --> 01:13:31.360
thought is that, I mean, unless, unless someone keeps doing

921
01:13:31.360 --> 01:13:34.600
something, you know, keeps coming at you, and like

922
01:13:34.600 --> 01:13:38.440
insisting on something, there's ways to draw boundaries without

923
01:13:38.440 --> 01:13:42.280
having to actually talk about it. Yeah, if he comes up to you

924
01:13:42.280 --> 01:13:45.320
again, you don't actually have to, you know, worry about, Oh,

925
01:13:45.320 --> 01:13:47.920
my goodness, you know, what am I going to say? How am I going to

926
01:13:47.920 --> 01:13:51.680
like, correct this? Because you probably got this impression. So

927
01:13:51.680 --> 01:13:56.040
now we need to have a talk about that. He could come up to you,

928
01:13:56.040 --> 01:13:59.480
and he could start asking for more information. Okay, you

929
01:13:59.480 --> 01:14:02.040
know, Renata, I've been thinking, and this is where I've

930
01:14:02.040 --> 01:14:08.040
gotten so far. And, you know, and, and, well, what do you

931
01:14:08.040 --> 01:14:12.600
think? Or is there anything you think I've missed or whatever?

932
01:14:12.720 --> 01:14:15.200
And so for instance, the pieces, well, what do you think? You

933
01:14:15.200 --> 01:14:20.600
can just, well, you know, I'm excited for you. And sounds

934
01:14:20.600 --> 01:14:26.000
great. That's it. And he'd be like, Well, well, no, like,

935
01:14:26.040 --> 01:14:28.160
like, really, what do you think? I'm like, I think it's great.

936
01:14:28.360 --> 01:14:32.040
Basically, what you're doing is you're leaving him alone. He's

937
01:14:32.040 --> 01:14:35.880
not yours anymore. So it's like, okay, that's what you're doing

938
01:14:35.880 --> 01:14:40.400
your life. That is wonderful. I am so excited for you. Great.

939
01:14:41.000 --> 01:14:45.520
Instead of commenting on it and contributing to it. Oh, you

940
01:14:45.520 --> 01:14:47.880
know, you know, I think that's really good. Yeah, that is what

941
01:14:47.880 --> 01:14:51.360
I was talking about. And, you know, if it's helpful, well,

942
01:14:51.360 --> 01:14:56.960
then there's also, you know, yeah, or, or, you know, don't be

943
01:14:56.960 --> 01:14:59.400
so hard on yourself, or I don't know, whatever you think.

944
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.480
It's just kind of like, almost like letting him talk.

945
01:15:03.640 --> 01:15:05.720
And then you just, that's great.

946
01:15:06.240 --> 01:15:10.280
I mean, I'm really excited for you, you know, and, and, uh, or I got to go or

947
01:15:10.280 --> 01:15:14.360
whatever, in the end, sometimes if you were to ask you, so, Hey, you know, I

948
01:15:14.360 --> 01:15:20.880
was wondering, you know, is, what do you mean about, uh, or, or what more would

949
01:15:20.880 --> 01:15:24.720
you like, in other words, he's inviting you to like, open up more and to tell

950
01:15:24.720 --> 01:15:29.120
him more, you can always just send him, you know, to the Lord and you're like,

951
01:15:29.120 --> 01:15:33.680
well, you know, you know, I just told you some things that came to mind, um,

952
01:15:33.720 --> 01:15:38.320
that day, but I think that this is really just something that you just, um, either

953
01:15:38.360 --> 01:15:41.720
need to, that you just, I encourage you to just pursue this, you know, with the

954
01:15:41.720 --> 01:15:47.720
Lord or to, um, you know, get together with so-and-so like some guy, you know,

955
01:15:47.720 --> 01:15:52.520
get together so-and-so and ask, you know, and ask him or, or whatever.

956
01:15:52.760 --> 01:15:57.360
In other words, in other words, make everything, I don't want to say not a big

957
01:15:57.360 --> 01:16:04.720
deal, but just kind of just basically view it as, as remember, if you view

958
01:16:04.720 --> 01:16:09.040
yourself as valuable and that you are who God says that you are, I'm not saying

959
01:16:09.040 --> 01:16:10.520
more valuable than this guy.

960
01:16:10.560 --> 01:16:12.360
I'm not saying, well, he's not treating me right.

961
01:16:12.360 --> 01:16:14.640
And I'm going to be, you know, I'm going to withhold myself from him.

962
01:16:14.640 --> 01:16:15.920
I don't mean that.

963
01:16:15.920 --> 01:16:19.680
I just mean like, if you see yourself as valuable, then you realize, wait a

964
01:16:19.680 --> 01:16:23.600
minute, he's not providing the environment for me to be able to offer my valuable

965
01:16:23.600 --> 01:16:27.360
things so that I'm preserving for someone else.

966
01:16:28.000 --> 01:16:30.400
And so therefore I'm not going to give them to him.

967
01:16:30.800 --> 01:16:33.160
So then, but you love on him, you'd be nice.

968
01:16:33.160 --> 01:16:36.320
And you'd be like, well, you know, you can get it from so-and-so or whatever.

969
01:16:36.520 --> 01:16:39.480
So it's ways in which you can draw boundaries because you're simply

970
01:16:39.480 --> 01:16:41.400
just not playing the game.

971
01:16:42.840 --> 01:16:47.440
As opposed to telling them why you're not playing the game, you just don't play.

972
01:16:48.440 --> 01:16:55.280
So that is one way to do, to do it where you just, as opposed to thinking, oh, and

973
01:16:55.280 --> 01:16:58.480
maybe you weren't thinking this, but just in case you were, as opposed to thinking,

974
01:16:58.520 --> 01:17:00.800
oh my word, I have to actually have a conversation.

975
01:17:01.720 --> 01:17:05.480
You just choose, you just choose it for you and start living like that.

976
01:17:05.960 --> 01:17:06.920
Just start doing it.

977
01:17:07.200 --> 01:17:09.920
You don't have to explain to someone else what it is that you're doing.

978
01:17:11.640 --> 01:17:12.880
Now, now, sure.

979
01:17:12.920 --> 01:17:16.720
If it comes and he just like pushes and pushes and pushes and pushes it or

980
01:17:16.720 --> 01:17:21.040
whatever, and you're like, you know, this, this situation, you know, I just

981
01:17:21.040 --> 01:17:25.440
realized you spoke into your life and I just don't have that place anymore.

982
01:17:25.680 --> 01:17:32.480
And, um, and so therefore, you know, I'm, I'm, I don't know, just whatever.

983
01:17:32.920 --> 01:17:37.440
And, um, yeah, so, um, yeah.

984
01:17:39.040 --> 01:17:41.600
But also before we go, um, oh, wow.

985
01:17:41.600 --> 01:17:42.480
I didn't realize it was so late.

986
01:17:42.480 --> 01:17:42.640
Yeah.

987
01:17:42.640 --> 01:17:46.640
I just had one more question, but if you have time, but, um,

988
01:17:47.000 --> 01:17:48.560
yeah, you do.

989
01:17:49.920 --> 01:17:50.120
Yeah.

990
01:17:51.360 --> 01:17:52.800
Um, you can answer it quickly.

991
01:17:52.880 --> 01:17:59.080
Um, I don't think, um, it was like, how do you intervene speaking to others, soul

992
01:17:59.080 --> 01:18:02.080
and spirit, and how do you do it with non-believers?

993
01:18:03.560 --> 01:18:08.880
Uh, oh, I want to pray for people and now I'm learning a new way to pray and to

994
01:18:08.880 --> 01:18:15.120
speak to people's spirit and soul and body, but then unbelievers, they have a

995
01:18:15.120 --> 01:18:18.840
spirit, but like, what, what kind of authority do you have?

996
01:18:19.200 --> 01:18:20.720
What do you not have authority to do?

997
01:18:20.960 --> 01:18:25.000
Like maybe a longer talk, but just like briefly.

998
01:18:25.440 --> 01:18:30.360
Well, part of it was in the healing your body and soul through the spirit.

999
01:18:30.640 --> 01:18:35.920
Some of that, and then I think there's some more in governing creation in

1000
01:18:35.920 --> 01:18:37.920
relationships, which you haven't watched yet.

1001
01:18:38.600 --> 01:18:39.720
So there's some of it in there.

1002
01:18:40.200 --> 01:18:44.560
Um, but the quick thing is that, um, that.

1003
01:18:45.360 --> 01:18:51.200
As far as like authority, everyone has every everyone's spirit has the most

1004
01:18:51.200 --> 01:18:56.400
authority over their own soul and body, but someone else's soul and body will

1005
01:18:56.400 --> 01:19:03.120
respond to and acknowledge the fact that you, as a son of God, you,

1006
01:19:03.120 --> 01:19:04.760
your spirit is talking to them.

1007
01:19:05.640 --> 01:19:10.200
And so you have the authority as a son of God to bring in the spirit of God for

1008
01:19:10.200 --> 01:19:12.280
something, to choose, to respond to it.

1009
01:19:12.680 --> 01:19:15.360
And it will notice that it's a son of God talking to it.

1010
01:19:16.200 --> 01:19:18.960
It will recognize it and it will be given.

1011
01:19:19.000 --> 01:19:26.120
And therefore it has a choice to respond, but it's, it's not ever to,

1012
01:19:26.120 --> 01:19:27.680
we're not ever to approach it.

1013
01:19:27.680 --> 01:19:32.520
Now you can't do this from your spirit, you know, which is in Christ, but you

1014
01:19:32.520 --> 01:19:39.840
can try to interact with someone in a way, you know, from your soul that, um,

1015
01:19:39.920 --> 01:19:45.600
manipulates it and tries to control another human being, and that is wrong.

1016
01:19:45.640 --> 01:19:47.640
And that's manipulation.

1017
01:19:47.800 --> 01:19:52.120
That's, you know, as the son of witchcraft, because it is trying to

1018
01:19:52.120 --> 01:19:55.320
supersede someone else's free will.

1019
01:19:56.000 --> 01:19:58.080
So there's that caveat.

1020
01:19:58.080 --> 01:19:58.840
That's what that is.

1021
01:19:58.880 --> 01:19:59.520
That's what.

1022
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:04.840
I don't know, a lot of new agers do and stuff like that, or witches and stuff, is they're

1023
01:20:04.840 --> 01:20:09.880
trying to manipulate a just second.

1024
01:20:09.880 --> 01:20:17.400
Excuse me.

1025
01:20:17.400 --> 01:20:19.580
And thank you.

1026
01:20:19.580 --> 01:20:21.860
And so anyway, so there's that.

1027
01:20:21.860 --> 01:20:24.040
So we're not talking about that.

1028
01:20:24.040 --> 01:20:32.480
That kind of where you're, you're, you are taking an, an authority over someone and forcing

1029
01:20:32.480 --> 01:20:38.280
something on them that you don't have is the same idea as like rape or whatever, where

1030
01:20:38.280 --> 01:20:45.120
someone is forcing something on someone else against in violation of their free will.

1031
01:20:45.120 --> 01:20:49.800
That's what manipulation is, where it's like a soul with another soul wanting to get something

1032
01:20:49.800 --> 01:20:51.000
to happen.

1033
01:20:51.000 --> 01:20:55.960
Even if it's said in the name of like something godly, like a parent, grandparent talking,

1034
01:20:55.960 --> 01:21:00.360
praying about their grandchild in such, or, or a wife talking to their, about their husband

1035
01:21:00.360 --> 01:21:06.000
praying, you know, in this specific way to get their own way out of them.

1036
01:21:06.000 --> 01:21:07.000
That's manipulation.

1037
01:21:07.000 --> 01:21:08.160
That's the center of witchcraft.

1038
01:21:08.160 --> 01:21:09.960
So we're not talking about that kind of thing.

1039
01:21:09.960 --> 01:21:13.940
If you're talking, you know, to talk about the positive, there's a way in which your

1040
01:21:13.940 --> 01:21:20.060
spirit can talk to their soul or their body is, is almost kind of like an ambassador or

1041
01:21:20.060 --> 01:21:29.280
an evangelist, like calling to them as a son of God and giving them the opportunity to,

1042
01:21:29.280 --> 01:21:43.620
to find, to, to, to risk, to believe, to respond to what you're saying, not, not what you're

1043
01:21:43.620 --> 01:21:49.260
saying, but to the spirit that you are bringing and to choose, to believe that it's safe to

1044
01:21:49.260 --> 01:21:56.180
choose, to believe that it can trust its own spirit, not to follow you and your spirit,

1045
01:21:56.180 --> 01:22:03.500
but to believe it's spirit to, in other words, to stop feeling so afraid because your spirit

1046
01:22:03.500 --> 01:22:06.340
is connected to their spirit in the Lord.

1047
01:22:06.340 --> 01:22:13.340
So it's, and, and y'all and, and your spirit and the other person's spirit are, you know,

1048
01:22:13.340 --> 01:22:18.540
even, you know, for instance, if it, even if it's an, um, and, oh, I, I forgot, we're

1049
01:22:18.540 --> 01:22:22.860
talking about, um, a non-believers, I forgot we're talking about a non-believer, but anyway,

1050
01:22:22.860 --> 01:22:29.860
their spirit still was created, you know, by the Lord and, and, uh, and while it can't

1051
01:22:29.860 --> 01:22:34.500
really, I don't really understand how it works, but, you know, God says that their spirit

1052
01:22:34.500 --> 01:22:39.900
is dead until they, you know, until they are united in Christ.

1053
01:22:39.900 --> 01:22:48.420
There's still a way in which their soul can hear a son of God talk and respond.

1054
01:22:48.420 --> 01:22:55.260
It can't by its own spirit, because there's that shut off or whatever, right now, I don't

1055
01:22:55.260 --> 01:23:00.380
know if that's actually perfectly theologically correct, but it can't because God does have

1056
01:23:00.380 --> 01:23:05.580
a way to talk to non-believers and they can hear him even without, even though he said

1057
01:23:05.580 --> 01:23:06.580
their spirit is dead.

1058
01:23:06.580 --> 01:23:09.500
So I don't fully understand theologically how all that's working.

1059
01:23:09.500 --> 01:23:16.820
My point is very generally that even if their own, even if they, even if they aren't rising

1060
01:23:16.820 --> 01:23:21.020
up within themselves and connecting within some aspect of themselves, that's wanting

1061
01:23:21.020 --> 01:23:28.180
to follow God or whatever, they can hear it like an ambassador or an evangelist from you

1062
01:23:28.180 --> 01:23:29.860
and your spirit.

1063
01:23:29.860 --> 01:23:34.320
So they just, basically you are just giving them an opportunity to come into the presence

1064
01:23:34.320 --> 01:23:39.980
of God to make, and then, and then, and then it gives them an opportunity to make a choice,

1065
01:23:39.980 --> 01:23:41.740
a choice to be free.

1066
01:23:41.740 --> 01:23:46.880
And that's what you're doing with your spirit is you're talking as a son of God to an aspect

1067
01:23:46.880 --> 01:23:53.100
of creation that just happens to be somebody else's soul, as opposed to a rabbit or a tree

1068
01:23:53.100 --> 01:23:59.420
or a circumstance, like, like the sea of Galilee, you know, and telling it to be quiet.

1069
01:23:59.980 --> 01:24:05.940
You're coming up against another, you're coming to another soul and you are presenting a son

1070
01:24:05.940 --> 01:24:06.940
of God.

1071
01:24:06.940 --> 01:24:15.380
So it gives it the opportunity to choose that God is as good as you are evangelistically

1072
01:24:15.380 --> 01:24:18.620
telling them and inviting them to believe.

1073
01:24:18.620 --> 01:24:24.300
So you can speak to the soul and body of non-believers, but you can speak with the spirit of believers

1074
01:24:24.300 --> 01:24:35.740
to tell them the spirit to rise up, to the non-believer, you can speak to the soul and

1075
01:24:35.740 --> 01:24:40.940
to the body from your spirit, but to believers, you can also speak to their spirit and ask

1076
01:24:40.940 --> 01:24:44.380
that their spirit to rise over their body and soul.

1077
01:24:44.380 --> 01:24:45.380
Yes.

1078
01:24:45.380 --> 01:24:46.380
Yes.

1079
01:24:46.380 --> 01:24:47.380
Okay.

1080
01:24:47.380 --> 01:24:48.380
Right.

1081
01:24:48.380 --> 01:24:49.380
I even do that over my, my own self.

1082
01:24:50.380 --> 01:24:56.140
Which you probably remember from maybe that, maybe the rest intensive, you know, the course

1083
01:24:56.140 --> 01:25:00.020
right before this, where I had that little write up about like, Hey, how to.

1084
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:02.000
Talk to your spirit, your soul, and your body.

1085
01:25:02.000 --> 01:25:04.160
And I, and I talk to my spirit.

1086
01:25:04.160 --> 01:25:06.680
So I usually talk to my soul and my body

1087
01:25:06.680 --> 01:25:09.200
because you're the ones with the issues,

1088
01:25:09.200 --> 01:25:12.280
but sometimes I talk to my spirit and just, you know,

1089
01:25:12.280 --> 01:25:14.080
tell it to, you know, to rise up

1090
01:25:14.080 --> 01:25:15.960
and to get the spirit of wisdom

1091
01:25:15.960 --> 01:25:17.800
and get the spirit of understanding, you know,

1092
01:25:17.800 --> 01:25:19.280
all these other spirits of the Lord.

1093
01:25:19.280 --> 01:25:22.600
And then to bring those in, to heal certain aspects of me

1094
01:25:22.600 --> 01:25:24.580
and hear certain aspects of my soul

1095
01:25:24.580 --> 01:25:26.400
and to teach my soul that it's safe

1096
01:25:26.400 --> 01:25:27.640
and that kind of a thing.

1097
01:25:27.640 --> 01:25:32.640
And so, yeah, yeah, you can.

1098
01:25:33.080 --> 01:25:35.560
And who knows, maybe there's a way to talk to somebody,

1099
01:25:35.560 --> 01:25:38.400
a non-believer's spirit, I have no idea.

1100
01:25:38.400 --> 01:25:40.640
There's only so much that I understand.

1101
01:25:40.640 --> 01:25:43.400
I just know that theologically,

1102
01:25:43.400 --> 01:25:48.080
I just know what I've done and what has worked.

1103
01:25:48.080 --> 01:25:48.920
Yeah.

1104
01:25:48.920 --> 01:25:52.360
So take all of the theology with a grain of salt.

1105
01:25:52.360 --> 01:25:53.960
Yeah, no, no, no.

1106
01:25:53.960 --> 01:25:54.800
That's good.

1107
01:25:54.800 --> 01:25:55.620
Thank you.

1108
01:25:55.620 --> 01:25:56.800
It's helpful.

1109
01:25:57.440 --> 01:26:00.440
So, because I know that in the Bible,

1110
01:26:00.440 --> 01:26:02.120
people have taught to their souls.

1111
01:26:03.400 --> 01:26:08.080
And I don't know if anyone's taught to their spirits.

1112
01:26:08.080 --> 01:26:11.040
I mean, like if it's recorded anywhere in scripture.

1113
01:26:11.040 --> 01:26:14.360
So, but I know people who do, I do.

1114
01:26:14.360 --> 01:26:16.520
It just, it's just like you're addressing

1115
01:26:16.520 --> 01:26:17.680
a certain part of yourself.

1116
01:26:17.680 --> 01:26:19.360
It's like, why not?

1117
01:26:19.360 --> 01:26:20.360
We can talk to God.

1118
01:26:20.360 --> 01:26:22.680
If we can talk to God, we can talk to Amy.

1119
01:26:22.680 --> 01:26:26.400
If you spoke to their spirits and ask it to come alive,

1120
01:26:27.040 --> 01:26:28.600
that would lead them to Christ.

1121
01:26:31.400 --> 01:26:33.200
Maybe, I don't know.

1122
01:26:33.200 --> 01:26:34.040
Yeah, I mean.

1123
01:26:34.040 --> 01:26:36.960
If it's dead, or it's dead until they come in,

1124
01:26:36.960 --> 01:26:39.240
until they surrender to Christ.

1125
01:26:39.240 --> 01:26:40.080
Yeah, I mean, why not?

1126
01:26:40.080 --> 01:26:43.240
Or if you ask it to rise, maybe, I don't know.

1127
01:26:43.240 --> 01:26:44.880
But maybe the safest thing is to speak

1128
01:26:44.880 --> 01:26:46.260
to their soul and body.

1129
01:26:47.120 --> 01:26:49.640
Then you at least know that you're within.

1130
01:26:49.640 --> 01:26:50.720
I don't know.

1131
01:26:50.720 --> 01:26:51.640
Yeah.

1132
01:26:51.640 --> 01:26:52.720
And that as well.

1133
01:26:52.720 --> 01:26:55.800
I mean, they're, yeah.

1134
01:26:56.240 --> 01:26:58.240
I mean, honestly, I just don't know how all of that works.

1135
01:26:58.240 --> 01:27:00.400
When I talk to a non-believer,

1136
01:27:00.400 --> 01:27:03.760
I recognize that they do interact with a non-believer.

1137
01:27:03.760 --> 01:27:05.760
I recognize that they do have a spirit.

1138
01:27:06.760 --> 01:27:08.760
And that that's who they actually are.

1139
01:27:12.080 --> 01:27:15.600
But they think that they're their soul or their body.

1140
01:27:17.520 --> 01:27:21.760
And that's the thing that they're in bondage to.

1141
01:27:21.760 --> 01:27:23.640
And so, I don't know.

1142
01:27:23.640 --> 01:27:24.720
I don't know if I've ever talked

1143
01:27:24.720 --> 01:27:26.880
to a non-believer spirit before.

1144
01:27:26.880 --> 01:27:28.560
I don't know.

1145
01:27:28.560 --> 01:27:30.160
Like I said, it's not like I've learned

1146
01:27:30.160 --> 01:27:32.000
all of these things theologically.

1147
01:27:32.000 --> 01:27:36.240
I just, I was just in, I would just be like,

1148
01:27:38.240 --> 01:27:40.320
like my spirit would be open with the Lord.

1149
01:27:40.320 --> 01:27:43.760
And I would just kind of be like, what feels right?

1150
01:27:43.760 --> 01:27:45.840
What feels theologically accurate?

1151
01:27:45.840 --> 01:27:47.280
Not like I could figure it out,

1152
01:27:47.280 --> 01:27:50.440
but like, where do I feel the freedom?

1153
01:27:50.440 --> 01:27:53.400
Like, and then I started talking to my soul or my body.

1154
01:27:54.160 --> 01:27:55.960
And I was like, this is interesting.

1155
01:27:55.960 --> 01:27:59.640
And I just kind of like felt into it.

1156
01:27:59.640 --> 01:28:01.920
And I'm like, well, Lord, is this okay?

1157
01:28:01.920 --> 01:28:04.120
And I was like, well, I'm not worshiping him.

1158
01:28:04.120 --> 01:28:05.880
I'm just like talking to him, you know?

1159
01:28:05.880 --> 01:28:08.480
And so anyway, and then I noticed

1160
01:28:08.480 --> 01:28:10.320
that things started changing.

1161
01:28:10.320 --> 01:28:12.680
And the way that I did that is I recognized

1162
01:28:12.680 --> 01:28:14.680
that God has created all those different parts of me,

1163
01:28:14.680 --> 01:28:17.240
the spirit, soul, and the body, and they're entities.

1164
01:28:17.240 --> 01:28:19.520
And so, and he called me to be a king.

1165
01:28:19.520 --> 01:28:22.320
So why not me as a king talk to those entities?

1166
01:28:23.200 --> 01:28:25.600
So it all within what God says,

1167
01:28:25.600 --> 01:28:30.120
which is the first thing that he is the king

1168
01:28:30.120 --> 01:28:34.240
and that I am learning how to be a king like my father

1169
01:28:34.240 --> 01:28:36.800
by governing the creation that he gave me.

1170
01:28:36.800 --> 01:28:39.160
In other words, the creation that he called me

1171
01:28:39.160 --> 01:28:40.800
to have dominion over.

1172
01:28:40.800 --> 01:28:43.080
So anyway, yeah.

1173
01:28:44.640 --> 01:28:49.640
But before we go, how are you with the overall question

1174
01:28:50.640 --> 01:28:54.960
that you had been asking in that text,

1175
01:28:54.960 --> 01:28:56.720
that message that you've sent me?

1176
01:28:56.720 --> 01:28:58.760
Like, did I answer?

1177
01:28:58.760 --> 01:29:00.480
Okay.

1178
01:29:00.480 --> 01:29:02.240
Okay, so I didn't leave something

1179
01:29:02.240 --> 01:29:03.800
that you were asking that.

1180
01:29:03.800 --> 01:29:04.880
No.

1181
01:29:04.880 --> 01:29:05.720
Okay.

1182
01:29:05.720 --> 01:29:06.560
Yeah.

1183
01:29:06.560 --> 01:29:07.880
Okay, because I wanted,

1184
01:29:07.880 --> 01:29:09.720
because I knew that you were very discouraged

1185
01:29:09.720 --> 01:29:11.200
and you were just like, oh my word, see,

1186
01:29:11.200 --> 01:29:14.160
this is the very reason why I don't, why, you know,

1187
01:29:14.160 --> 01:29:17.800
I want to be in rest and whatever.

1188
01:29:17.800 --> 01:29:19.080
It does, remember, it doesn't mean

1189
01:29:20.080 --> 01:29:23.920
that rest is not the lack of unpleasant circumstances.

1190
01:29:23.920 --> 01:29:28.880
So it doesn't mean that things are going to be easy.

1191
01:29:28.880 --> 01:29:33.120
Rest is rather influences

1192
01:29:33.120 --> 01:29:36.600
and affects how we go through these situations.

1193
01:29:36.600 --> 01:29:39.600
It doesn't make these situations not happen.

1194
01:29:39.600 --> 01:29:40.440
Yes.

1195
01:29:40.440 --> 01:29:42.280
It just changes how we go through them.

1196
01:29:42.280 --> 01:29:45.960
But remember that that's how things are birthed

1197
01:29:46.000 --> 01:29:49.800
is going through chaos in rest.

1198
01:29:49.800 --> 01:29:53.240
It's not going through rest in rest.

1199
01:29:53.240 --> 01:29:54.840
That's not how things are birthed.

1200
01:29:54.840 --> 01:29:59.520
It's going through chaos in rest is how things are birthed.

1201
01:29:59.520 --> 01:30:00.360
So therefore.

1202
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:01.480
or you got to have chaos.

1203
01:30:01.480 --> 01:30:03.320
There's going to be just turmoil.

1204
01:30:03.320 --> 01:30:06.360
There's going to be, there's going to be disorder

1205
01:30:06.360 --> 01:30:09.720
and you're bringing, and you're moving through it in rest.

1206
01:30:09.720 --> 01:30:14.000
You're being unfazed, unaffected and uncorrupted

1207
01:30:14.000 --> 01:30:19.000
by going through the chaos, you know, your catalyst.

1208
01:30:19.160 --> 01:30:21.100
But that's what rest is.

1209
01:30:21.100 --> 01:30:22.840
And that's what the rest intensive is about.

1210
01:30:22.840 --> 01:30:25.640
And that's what I, what I'm talking about is

1211
01:30:25.640 --> 01:30:29.280
not to help people not go through situations anymore.

1212
01:30:29.320 --> 01:30:30.520
Cause that's just going to happen.

1213
01:30:30.520 --> 01:30:32.200
I mean, that's why we're here is like,

1214
01:30:32.200 --> 01:30:33.280
well, it's not why we're here.

1215
01:30:33.280 --> 01:30:37.320
We're here to reveal the Lord, but in revealing the Lord,

1216
01:30:37.320 --> 01:30:40.840
we're in a situation right now because of the fall of Adam,

1217
01:30:40.840 --> 01:30:43.520
that creation was subjected to frustration

1218
01:30:43.520 --> 01:30:46.720
and we're needing to, in presenting the Lord,

1219
01:30:46.720 --> 01:30:51.160
it's going to be, it's going to be helping creation overcome

1220
01:30:51.160 --> 01:30:53.240
and to shift into freedom.

1221
01:30:53.240 --> 01:30:57.080
And so that's just kind of where it is that we are now.

1222
01:30:57.080 --> 01:30:59.880
It wouldn't have been like that before Adam,

1223
01:30:59.880 --> 01:31:02.800
but since Adam, then that's the situation that we're in.

1224
01:31:02.800 --> 01:31:04.520
So it's not why we were created.

1225
01:31:04.520 --> 01:31:06.600
We know we're not created to overcome creation

1226
01:31:06.600 --> 01:31:08.400
because creation was perfectly fine.

1227
01:31:08.400 --> 01:31:11.320
For goodness knows how long before Adam sinned.

1228
01:31:11.320 --> 01:31:12.760
I mean, how long did he live in the garden?

1229
01:31:12.760 --> 01:31:13.960
It could have been thousands of years

1230
01:31:13.960 --> 01:31:15.760
before he ever sinned, I don't know.

1231
01:31:16.800 --> 01:31:21.040
But the point is that that's not why we were created.

1232
01:31:21.040 --> 01:31:22.600
We were not created to overcome.

1233
01:31:22.600 --> 01:31:25.720
We were created in order to reveal the Lord,

1234
01:31:25.760 --> 01:31:29.120
but now we're revealing that in our revealing of the Lord,

1235
01:31:29.120 --> 01:31:30.560
it'll overcome.

1236
01:31:30.560 --> 01:31:32.960
So we're going through, but the only way to do that,

1237
01:31:32.960 --> 01:31:35.240
the only way to actually reveal the Lord

1238
01:31:36.240 --> 01:31:39.200
and release creation from frustration

1239
01:31:39.200 --> 01:31:42.680
is that is in its chaos, in its frustration,

1240
01:31:42.680 --> 01:31:45.600
in its disorder and its unbelief,

1241
01:31:45.600 --> 01:31:48.480
we move through it in belief.

1242
01:31:48.480 --> 01:31:52.560
We have to move through the unbelief of creation

1243
01:31:52.560 --> 01:31:57.560
in our belief in order to change its unbelief to belief

1244
01:31:57.840 --> 01:32:00.640
in order to, we have to be different.

1245
01:32:00.640 --> 01:32:04.840
And so that's, as opposed to being the same,

1246
01:32:04.840 --> 01:32:07.640
being the same as it feels like,

1247
01:32:07.640 --> 01:32:09.120
oh, it's going to give us peace

1248
01:32:09.120 --> 01:32:12.640
because we're not in dissonance with it or whatever,

1249
01:32:12.640 --> 01:32:14.240
but we can't free it.

1250
01:32:14.240 --> 01:32:16.960
And it's going to continue to remain in chaos

1251
01:32:16.960 --> 01:32:18.920
if we're in its same frequency.

1252
01:32:18.920 --> 01:32:21.280
So anyway, hopefully that's helpful.

1253
01:32:22.280 --> 01:32:23.600
It is.

1254
01:32:23.600 --> 01:32:26.040
Oh, well, it's good to get to see you.

1255
01:32:26.040 --> 01:32:26.880
Thank you.

1256
01:32:26.880 --> 01:32:27.720
You're welcome.

1257
01:32:27.720 --> 01:32:28.680
Are you enjoying everything?

1258
01:32:28.680 --> 01:32:30.320
Everything going good?

1259
01:32:30.320 --> 01:32:33.040
Yes, it's going well.

1260
01:32:33.040 --> 01:32:35.080
I hope I'll be able to maybe wake up

1261
01:32:35.080 --> 01:32:36.600
a couple of more nights.

1262
01:32:36.600 --> 01:32:37.440
We'll see.

1263
01:32:38.920 --> 01:32:39.800
That would be great.

1264
01:32:39.800 --> 01:32:42.600
Everyone just loved getting to finally meet you.

1265
01:32:44.120 --> 01:32:45.560
Yeah, so that was really good.

1266
01:32:45.560 --> 01:32:47.680
Thank you so much for your help.

1267
01:32:47.680 --> 01:32:49.360
You're welcome.

1268
01:32:49.400 --> 01:32:50.240
Yeah.

1269
01:32:50.240 --> 01:32:52.160
So then I'll see you more on,

1270
01:32:52.160 --> 01:32:54.400
maybe on some of the calls.

1271
01:32:54.400 --> 01:32:55.240
Yes.

1272
01:32:55.240 --> 01:32:56.880
Okay, that would be great.

1273
01:32:56.880 --> 01:32:58.360
All right.

1274
01:32:58.360 --> 01:33:03.240
Well, my friend wrote you a text, I think.

1275
01:33:03.240 --> 01:33:04.640
Yes, she did.

1276
01:33:04.640 --> 01:33:05.480
Yeah.

1277
01:33:05.480 --> 01:33:06.320
I feel so bad.

1278
01:33:06.320 --> 01:33:07.840
I've got actually multiple people

1279
01:33:07.840 --> 01:33:09.360
that I haven't gotten back to yet.

1280
01:33:09.360 --> 01:33:10.760
So I need to remember that.

1281
01:33:10.760 --> 01:33:11.600
Sorry.

1282
01:33:11.600 --> 01:33:12.440
She was a friend.

1283
01:33:12.440 --> 01:33:13.280
No, no, no.

1284
01:33:13.280 --> 01:33:14.120
But she's a friend of mine

1285
01:33:14.120 --> 01:33:15.960
and she's been really inspired

1286
01:33:15.960 --> 01:33:17.760
by what's happening in my life.

1287
01:33:17.800 --> 01:33:21.120
So, but I was thinking maybe you'll also, yeah.

1288
01:33:22.200 --> 01:33:24.120
And I'm thinking just,

1289
01:33:24.120 --> 01:33:25.200
yeah, I want to continue

1290
01:33:25.200 --> 01:33:26.880
with the rest intensive this December.

1291
01:33:26.880 --> 01:33:29.120
And then, yeah, maybe,

1292
01:33:30.040 --> 01:33:32.000
well, I don't know what the other girls

1293
01:33:32.000 --> 01:33:33.880
are thinking after that or what,

1294
01:33:33.880 --> 01:33:36.040
but I hope that I'd be more connected

1295
01:33:36.040 --> 01:33:37.440
to you further on too.

1296
01:33:37.440 --> 01:33:38.560
Well, good.

1297
01:33:38.560 --> 01:33:39.800
Well, I'd love that.

1298
01:33:39.800 --> 01:33:41.800
I'm starting another rest intensive,

1299
01:33:41.800 --> 01:33:44.120
you know, like the one we did last six weeks.

1300
01:33:44.120 --> 01:33:46.080
So not the rest lifestyle, but rest intensive.

1301
01:33:46.120 --> 01:33:48.760
And I'll be starting another one in January.

1302
01:33:48.760 --> 01:33:50.560
So I'm getting all of that ready

1303
01:33:50.560 --> 01:33:52.440
to just let everyone know

1304
01:33:52.440 --> 01:33:54.040
because I've had other people tell me

1305
01:33:54.040 --> 01:33:55.960
that their friends want to join.

1306
01:33:55.960 --> 01:33:59.200
And so I've had at least four people reach out

1307
01:33:59.200 --> 01:34:00.800
saying they want to do it,

1308
01:34:00.800 --> 01:34:03.680
like friends of people who are in it.

1309
01:34:03.680 --> 01:34:06.360
And so I need to go ahead and just get a page up

1310
01:34:06.360 --> 01:34:09.640
so that people can start signing up if they want to.

1311
01:34:09.640 --> 01:34:10.560
So anyway.

1312
01:34:11.560 --> 01:34:12.400
All right.

1313
01:34:12.400 --> 01:34:13.240
All right.

1314
01:34:13.240 --> 01:34:14.080
Good to see you.

1315
01:34:14.080 --> 01:34:14.920
Yeah, you too.

1316
01:34:14.920 --> 01:34:15.760
See you later.

1317
01:34:15.760 --> 01:34:17.320
Bye.