Okay.
Hey,
my lighting is not very good. It's never very good.
I'm using backlighting instead of it being in the front.
And I don't know why my AirPods will not connect.
That'll help a little bit.
To my AirPods.
You're in a different location today.
Yeah, I am in my corner of my couch.
Oh, nice.
And why is it not connecting that so aggravating.
Let me see.
Let me, let me turn this off. Maybe it's because I have my phone on.
And it's trying to connect to my phone.
There we go.
See.
Okay.
I hope it's not.
Okay.
Which one's saying something.
What are you.
Yes, I am. I'm hearing you, but I'm trying to get you to go through,
get it to go to my AirPods.
And it's not working. And I don't know why.
Shoot.
Excuse me.
Okay.
Man, I'm going to sneeze again. Let me go get my headset.
Okay.
That's good.
Okay.
There you go.
Pilot.
Let's see here.
Can you hear me now?
Maybe.
Let's say it. You want to say something again? Yeah. Can you hear me now?
Darn it.
It's not coming through.
Yeah.
I don't know what the deal is.
I'll just keep it off.
Can you hear me? Okay. Like this.
I can, I can hear you just fine. I was just.
Okay.
How are you?
I'm doing okay. I'm tired.
I haven't been feeling very good the past few days.
With recovery. And I think trying to figure out all.
My diet and my hydration. It's a whole different.
Ball game.
Eating and drinking stuff. It's like.
I'm more easily dehydrated.
I'm just trying to figure all that out.
Yeah.
And then.
And then yesterday I got the pathology report back.
Oh, that.
They found.
One lymph node had cancer in it.
So one out of 23 lymph nodes that they.
Got.
Had cancer in it. So.
For me, I'm like, Oh, one out of 23, that's great.
You know, it's not 20 out of 23.
I don't know.
Like if there were no lymph nodes taken.
I mean, if there were no lymph nodes with cancer, they basically say,
well, I think you're good to go.
Yeah.
But now there is one.
The regular route is they recommend chemo.
And I don't think I'm probably going to go that route.
Cause I think.
Cause still, I don't know the chance.
it doesn't mean there's other lymph nodes with cancer in my body. Yeah. So, because, because that
lymph node was removed. So, um, Oh, they removed it. Yeah. So that was, so in the surgery, they
removed the tumor as well as a section around the tumor. Yeah. And so they looked at all the
lymph nodes that were in that, in that section that they cut out. I see. Yeah. So that was,
that was all cut out. Wow. 23, just in that area. That's wild. I didn't know we had that many.
That's like the biggest concentration of lymph nodes, which is kind of crazy.
Like near the colon. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so I'm kind of in this place of
like, obviously still trusting the Lord. Um, yeah, but, but I'm kind of like weary
and kind of tired and kind of not, I feel like I've just been kind of distant
from the Lord. I don't know, which is cause I'm, I don't want to engage
cause I don't want to engage with many people cause I'm just tired. Um,
but I also feel like there's some resistance there and I don't know what that's about.
So, um, between you and the Lord. Yeah.
Well, um, it could be various things, you know, it could be, um, um, it could be a fact that,
you know, you don't feel, uh, safe with him either because of the past or because of, um,
because of, uh, the potential future, like either, well, you know, Lord, I don't know that
you are, who say that you are, you know, that you're, that you're loved, that you do love me,
that you provide for me or protect me. And there's also this thing of like, well, yeah,
but who is he? And what would he ask of me? And then depending on what he would ask of me, what
does that mean that I'm going to have to live through? And then what does it mean that he's
going to require of me? Meaning like, meaning, uh, what, what does that mean about me and what
it is that I have believed or the decisions that I've made or how I've lived life or, or whatever
it could be, it could be, you know, any of those options. Um, it can also be of what we've
experienced in the past. Um, when we've, when we've spent time with the Lord and then we're
projecting that onto our current light, for instance, sometimes when people, people, I've
had this question so many times. So like, Ashley, I don't enjoy spending time with the Lord. I don't
enjoy like reading the Bible and, um, and the, and they think, you know, something horrible is
wrong with them. They're like, why? And I was like, well, it makes complete sense. Either you
are. And I, and I tell them what it is that I just described to you. I said, or every time you read
the Bible, you just felt condemned. You felt that you were going to find yet one more thing in which
you don't measure up one more proof. One more thing that God requires of you that you haven't
met, that you haven't done, you know, and Oh, you forgot about that. Or, Oh, you didn't know that.
And you didn't realize that. And, and, um, I said, so the Bible and spending time with the Lord
wasn't fun. It wasn't safe. It wasn't, you know, it, it wasn't full of love and freedom and promises
and good things. It was just full of more realization and awareness of how bad you were
or how you were doing, weren't doing things the way you needed to be doing. And now we need them
to be doing them different. And so what I told people as I said, well, all of those things just
aren't true. I said that they think, but we think that they are. So I told them, I said, um, for one
thing, don't be condemned. Don't feel condemned that you don't want to know that there's a reason
for it. I said, and then what I've always recommended to people is I said, don't read
the Bible or spend time with God in a note with an agenda, like, okay, I'm supposed to be getting
something out of this, you know, or like you start reading Ephesians or something like, okay.
You know, starting in chapter two, verse five today, you know, okay, now what am I going to
learn? What do I need to be open to? What do I need to be? What revelation is going to be coming?
I said, no, I said, read it like you would a fiction book. Just, just read, just allow your,
your, your spirit, your soul, your body to, to just, to just hear something and, and to just be
changed without you consciously having to do it. Let it just subconsciously adjust and just
learn to enjoy God again for himself. Not always be worried about what is going to be required of
you because you're spending time with the word. Just enjoy him. Allow yourself to enjoy him without
requiring.
Anything of yourself require requiring yourself to get anything out of it.
Like, okay, what am I going to learn?
Well, what does that really sing?
And how do I need to study this?
And let's really figure this out.
If you read through a verse, you're like, I don't understand.
You should keep going.
Cause that's what you do with the fiction book.
You know, you're just like, just enjoy it.
Just have fun.
Just, and then it opens what you're doing is because you were too, that's
a way in which you're acting on faith.
So you're having faith that God really is good.
You're having faith that that life in God himself are more love and more
freedom than you've given him credit for.
And so if he was more love and freedom, what are some ways that you could act on
it in order to, in order to actually start acting on something new that you're,
that you're believing like, okay, well then I would enjoy the Lord.
Then I would just read it knowing that, Hey, look, you know, this is just where
it is that I am on the journey right now with the Lord, and I'm just going to,
I'm going to take him at his word that, you know, that he's, he's
as good as he says that he is.
And so I am going to enjoy him if he's good.
And if he's love and if he's free, well, then I'll, I'll just enjoy reading
about him and learning about him.
Let's see what I come across and you'll see things in a fresher way and, or in
this, and I'm just using the Bible as an example, but just like spending time
with God, talking to him or whatever, as opposed to going to him, always
looking for answers or information or knowledge or revelation, just enjoying
him by opening yourself up and making yourself vulnerable to experience the
being, you know so anyway, those are some things to start breaking off those
old ideas and expectations that there's always something required of us to get
out of it.
Like I have to learn something.
I have to be, I have to be.
What's that, what's that word?
Um, um, convicted, I have to, I have to find what it is that I need to be
convicted of, or I need to find something else I need to, I need to, you know, and
have a realization of something else that it is that I need to do, or I need to
read all of this and, and, and learn how to be grateful and, and learn how, I don't
know, just learn how it is that I'm not believing God and just like, ah, just,
just free yourself up to be safe with him again, to enjoy him, to enjoy the
fact that he's love and his goodness and start focusing on some positive.
Um, and, uh, that will help make, that'll help like make things clear so that when
you go to him, you will, you will start hearing direction, his heart, his will,
his decisions much more clearly, because you don't have these, you know, these
because you don't have these, you don't have as much resistance to him because
you're coming to him with an expectation that there's something you're supposed to
get out of it, that you need to get out of it, or that you're desperate to get out
of it, or that he holds you accountable for getting out of it.
And then you've got to go do something with it.
We need God's will and we need his information and we need his decisions
and we need his knowledge and we need his heart in order to know what to do.
You know, what does he expect of us or, or how can I apply this?
So we seek God more than his answers and, um, et cetera.
So, um, that helps start breaking it off of people.
It helped broke it, break, um, break it off of me and it helps break, helps
other people break out of that as well to just enjoy God again.
Right.
No.
Is that resonating?
You know,
it does.
I think it reminds me of when you just say, just stop, stop trying.
And I think I've always tried to get out of resistance so I can hear him.
And even just listening to you, I feel like the walls of resistance
were just breaking down that I don't have to try so hard.
Yeah.
Cause we really are free.
And that's what it means to, to, you know, to stop trying is the trying is
the, you know, this, like this, this feeling of like, like, um, like a
pressing into and a moving forward.
It was just like, if we just stop, well, then that's it.
That's it.
That's an act of faith.
In other words, we're having faith that, okay.
God says that there, here's, there's nothing left for me to do.
He's already done everything.
My default state is naturally the thing that I'm wanting to get to.
So if I just stop and let go, I revert back to that default state.
So that's why all we have to do is stop trying.
So all of this stuff, you know, you know, you know, not wanting to
spend time with God and whatever, that's just like you said, you know,
it's just strictly resistance because who you are less than impact.
So stop all of the, the trying to do it right.
We're trying to want to spend time with God, even that, you
know, stop trying to want to.
Just, just give yourself that gift.
Just know this is me.
I love God, I enjoy God, but I'm not used to experiencing that.
I'm not used to experiencing the enjoyment of it and the freedom of it.
So I'm just going to choose this for myself.
I'm going to choose that, that I, that, that if I, that I am who God says that I am.
And that means that I automatically, that I, that my natural state is I do enjoy God.
I always believe that I, I always feel loved.
I always allow myself to be loved on.
And then I always believe that he loves me, you know, et cetera.
And so if I do that, well then if I believe that, well then what would I do?
Well, I'd spend time with him strictly because I choose to.
So that's something that you choose and that's an act on your faith.
Because if we don't act on the faith, then it's not really faith.
So you choose, you know, that if God says that you are that thing, well then what would
you do?
And you're like, okay, even though I don't have experience in it.
I don't have experience in enjoying it.
I'm going to, I'm going to choose that I enjoy it.
So I'm just going to put myself there.
I'm going to spend time with them and I'm just going to do it now though, from a different
perspective than I have in the past and the past, I always approached it as this like
agenda, this there, I had to, I had to have an agenda.
There's something was supposed to happen.
I'm supposed to feel him.
I'm supposed to hear him.
I was supposed to learn something and then I have to go and do it, you know, and you
don't worry or I have to be convicted or I have to, I don't know, something and, and
you don't, you just, you just go to, and you decide, no, I'm going to go just enjoy God
just X.
And then that'll give me a different type of an experience with them.
So anyway, and then that'll start opening you up to feel safer because you know that
you're allowed to spend time with the Lord.
You'll find through experience that you, that God allows you to spend time with them without
having to make something out of it or, you know, yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah.
It does.
Well, I guess, like, I know you talk about, you know, often like through your day to day
and you say, okay, Lord, let's, are we going to go do this today?
Are we going to go do that?
Or, you know, like, like you're in constant communion with him.
And I feel at times in my life, I am like that and it, it, it is like just easy.
And and then other times it's not, and so maybe this is the same answer that you already
just gave me, like choosing, there's not an agenda.
And and I think sometimes I, like, I just want to feel him like, cause I have experienced,
you know, hearing him and, but I, and I feel like if I'm not experiencing me experiencing
him in that same way, then is he there or, you know,
Well partly, you know, by again, the stopping, the trying, the stopping, holding as an expectation
of going to God and like, I'm going to go to God to experience them, or I'm wanting
to experience them.
Why won't he show up?
Well, for, so instead of that, we go to him, we just, we just choose that, that we are
who he says that we are meaning like, oh, we're that, we're that new creation, we're
that new creature, we're that new man.
And everything it is that that entails, meaning that we're one with Christ, we're completely
perfect.
We're no longer sinners, you know, and that kind of thing.
And so from that, from the, if, if that is, you know, who I am, then I am going to just,
just spend time with the Lord.
I'm going to connect with them, I'm going to whatever, and by doing that, just because
we're acting on faith, that we are who God says that we are.
He says we're new creatures.
He says that we're the new man that we're always in communication with him.
So if we start acting like that, if we start presenting ourselves like that, if we start,
I don't know, acting on that kind of like a lifestyle, like while you're stirring, while
you're standing at the, at the stove, you know, stirring a pot of beans or whatever,
you know, you're just, you're just aware in, in, in choosing that God is with me and God,
you know, I'm communing with you and whatever, that by not putting an agenda on it, but simply
by choosing to give yourself the reality of what it is that God says is already true will
as a result, allow you to experience him.
But if you're going for the experience, it will elude you.
But if you go without the experience, without requiring the experience as part of the agenda,
as far as like what we get out of it and what we want from him.
And if we just, if we first choose him over the experience, we choose that he is that,
that he is who he says that he is, and that we are who he says that we are, which again,
new creature, new man, perfect one with him in constant communication with him, loved
by him, completely resting in him, securely being.
provided for him, safe with him, all of those things.
And we choose to live like that and act like that,
choose that that's our reality,
and natural results is that we'll experience it.
But yeah, if we go for that,
if we go for the experience over having faith in God,
then, you know, believing that what it is
that he says is true,
and then we're choosing an idol.
We're choosing experience more than God,
experiencing him over him.
And he wants us to choose him over experience.
Experience is the natural result after we've chosen him.
It comes from choosing him.
So if we're asking for this without choosing this,
this can't come,
because this naturally has to come from this first.
So if we don't have this, this can't come.
So we have to give it up.
In other words, just let it go and choose this instead,
and then that'll come.
Right.
Well, that just, that reminded me of,
like when I, I feel like I was putting my healing over him.
Oh, yeah.
And I, and I think in this past day,
I feel like I've done that again.
Like I almost, like I put it.
Yeah, it's a deeper level.
Yeah.
Because you're being, it sees stuff in you is just,
you know, it's like what we talked about before,
where you've got like, you know,
if this is the surface of what it used to,
of what it is used to believe
and what it is used to deal with and whatever.
And then God has dealt with like from here down
and that you've now let that go.
And all of that,
you presented that and exchanged your old beliefs
for new beliefs and whatever.
You now have another level,
another surface that has never been exposed before,
but now it's exposed
because this from here down has been dealt with.
So it's now removed.
So it's now exposed to deeper level.
So, you know, that's all that it is,
is you're just going deeper.
So it's not you learning, relearning a lesson.
It's God allowing what it is that has always been there
to just become evidence so it can actually be dealt with
and then just removed.
So it's not, so again, no condemnation on yourself,
no being upset and ashamed or anything,
because that's going to take longer to just deal with this.
You just realize, oh, okay, this is something new.
This is a new level.
So, you know, we're now going to apply the same principles
that we applied, you know, for this part up here,
we're going to apply to this part down here.
Same exact principles.
That's why I tell people, I said,
if you just rewatch the teaching,
the more that you own this,
every time you will come to understanding things
and you'll hear me say things
you didn't hear me say the first time.
Because it's like, now you understand.
And it's because of that,
it's like, we're always going to a deeper level
and you can always apply the same stuff
at every single level.
It's all the same principles.
So in the kingdom of this world, everything's complicated.
Every new situation and nuance and deeper level
requires something extra special that's made just for that.
But with God, it's the same thing every time.
It's very simple.
And we just have to learn to apply it, you know, deeper,
to apply it to every area.
It's just like, trust me, believe me.
What did I say?
And choose what it is that I said
as your higher reality over this reality.
We never want to deny this reality
because this is very real,
but God's reality supersedes this.
And we always want to choose it over this,
but we never want to deny this.
Because if we deny this, then we can't fully choose that.
You can only choose it.
Because if we deny this,
then we're defaulting back to that,
meaning like we're just like, well,
as if it's the only choice, but it's not the only choice.
So in order to choose it, we have to have a choice.
In other words, both have to exist when we make this choice.
But anyway, that's a little nuance.
But so anyway, yeah, you're just going around,
you're doing what Ed refers to
as going around the mountain at a higher level.
It feels like, wait a minute,
I've seen this out of the mountain before.
Yeah, but you're at a higher elevation now.
Or like I describe it, like going deeper.
A deeper level is just being exposed.
But it'll be a lot easier if you give yourself credit
and an understanding that when you dealt with something,
you really did deal with it.
Because remember, when you address,
when you allow a certain aspect of your flesh to die,
in other words, you let it go and you give it to the Lord,
it's replaced by spirit.
Because if you truly give it to the Lord, it will die.
And then it's resurrected as spirit
and understand that the flesh is subject to death,
but spirit is not.
So you're, if, if that aspect of you, if the flesh has been transformed a spirit, it can
never die.
So if you re so you really have quote unquote, learn that lesson, and now it's been replaced
by spirit and that spirit can never die.
And so it's just a deeper level of the, of it.
It's not the same thing over again, you've already dealt with that, that spirit.
You don't have to make, you don't have to do that again.
You know?
Well, that's encouraging.
Yeah.
I was like, Oh my gosh, I have to deal with this all over again.
But yeah, you're just making the same choice with God, but at a deeper level, a D you there's
deeper accusation in you than you realized.
And so all different triggers are prompting it are pulling up that out, but see, you have,
you're living under the bondage of it, whether or not you feel it.
So it's a good thing when it comes up because God's like, Hey, now's an opportunity to deal
with something that you've been in bondage to that's actually like hurting various aspects
of your life, whether or not, you know, it's there, but now, you know, it's there.
So now you have the opportunity, you know, child, would you like to let it go?
And know it so that it's no longer a part of your life.
Would you like to shift into more love and freedom in order to do that though, you need
to choose me over it.
And so anyway, he just, he just allows more and more of that to come up because it's always
an invitation to greater love and freedom.
Right.
So it's not him getting onto you and like, Hey, let's make life harder for you.
And you know, let's see how much you love me and let's see, you know, you know, how
long you can endure it's, it's all in, it's in all of us.
And God's just giving you the freedom, giving you the invitation to be rid of it.
In other words, to have that aspect of you out so that you're no longer burdened by it.
You're no longer victim to it.
You're no longer bonded to it and you get to operate more love and freedom, but we get
to choose whether or not we do that, but he'll still love us and he'll still talk to us even
if we don't.
Right.
But he's like, wouldn't you like to live more free, right?
He can't give us more.
Remember, we're not giving this up in order to get transacted from God's something.
We already have it all, but we're not allowing ourselves to access it because we're preferring
to hang onto this instead of taking advantage of this.
We already have what God gave us, but holding onto this a lot doesn't allow us to, to operate
in this because we've chosen to operate in this system instead.
So he's just like, Hey, I've already given it to you.
I'm not going to give you, I can't give you any more because I've already given you everything.
So, but if you let go of this, well, then you can finally grab ahold of the thing that
I already gave you.
So what would you like to do?
What kind of an X life experience do you want to have?
And it's not just a life experience.
I just, that, that's kind of like where it hits us on a, like a, a, a physical level,
but it's also how much more of me do you want to be able to experience, you know, how much
more of me do you want to be able to like touch and, and feel.
And like I just said, experience, um, we have to start letting go of things that this earth
in order to be able to experience these other aspects of the Lord that he's already given
us, but we can't, we can't connect with them, you know, unless we let go of these things
first.
So I just say all of that and the fact in freedom of the fact that it's just, it's just
up to our choice.
It's not like God's withholding something from us and said, no, it can't have this.
Um, and, um, so, but I'll give it to other people, but I won't give it to you, you know,
he just, but he does take us all on our own journey of experiencing him and of, of, um,
the word I'm looking for, um, I don't know that growing in our faith and, uh, we all
just kind of have different, different experiences or like, Oh Lord, you know, um, why did you
help so-and-so figure out how to let go or give them the opportunity to, to have connected
with so-and-so who told them just the thing that they needed to know.
And now they're free, but you won't, you won't give me someone like that.
I mean, we have those accusations that we can bring up against the Lord as well, but
God just takes, um, that's what a friend of mine refers to as, uh, God just brings
up each one of his sons in his own way, you know, but anyway, the thing is that, uh, we,
he has still has given us everything already, right?
So he just fathers us in how to access it, how to access.
something that we already have.
Cause we're like, okay, God, I come into agreement with you that I already have
it, but I've never, I've never experienced using it.
I don't even know what it is fully that I have.
You say, I have it and you say, I have all this stuff, but
what really is that Lord?
You know, what's even the word for it, let alone what on earth can you do with it?
And what, what on earth is its purpose and how on earth would it benefit me?
So I don't even know what it is, let alone, you know, how to use it.
How do I interact with it?
How do I take advantage of it?
How do I, whatever.
Um, and then that's something that God has to just teach us.
He has to teach us what he has given us, teach us what it means, teach us how to
use it, teach us how to access it, teach us under what situations is wise for us to
utilize it, um, you know, teach us, well, who is his character and what
does it mean to act in love?
You know, the world has their own ideas of what it means to act in love, but
God's a very different way.
For instance, what he did with a prodigal son, when he, when the
prodigal son, you know, went very dishonorably and very, um, disrespectfully
to his father and demanded, you know, his, his inheritance or asked for it.
How will, however you want to word it?
Um, the father didn't have to give him the inheritance
because he hadn't died yet.
But not only did he, he give it to him, you know, before he died,
you know, he gave it to him period.
Meaning like the son was like, Hey, I'm rejecting you and I want to go do this
on my own.
And by the way, you're going to pay for it.
You're going to enable me to do it.
Well, in our world, that's called enabling, you know, is where it's like,
Hey, I'm going to leave you.
I'm going to, I'm going to reject you.
I'm going to go hurt myself.
I'm going to go, you know, whatever I want to provide for and protect myself
and the choices that I make.
And, and yet, and the father knows you have, but that's going to hurt you.
Yeah.
But that's gonna, this, this stuff is eventually going to run out, et cetera.
But if you, but I love you.
And so therefore I don't want to leave you stranded.
I want to give you a means by which you can provide for and protect yourself.
If you won't let me do it, if you won't let me do it, I will give you the means
by which you can do it yourself.
But just know, unfortunately that because it's not connected to me, it'll run out.
But anyway, like I said, that's referred to, you know, in our world is enabling.
Right.
So our own, our world has its own way of describing love, you know, what it means
to love, but God, you know, he, he does things very, very different.
He, he literally gives people money to do drugs.
Why?
I don't know, but he does.
He keeps people alive.
Sometimes he, you know, he saves, he saves murderers.
There, there, um, there are stories of this, that murderers have been saved by
God and they were never caught and that eventually they just turned themselves
because they've just believed it was right.
God let God freed him and let him off the hook.
In fact, um, I have a friend of mine, it's kind of a wild story, but I have a friend
of mine who, um, became a Christian in federal prison and he was in prison for,
I think 10 years and, um, for doing some, all kinds of stuff.
And, um, anyway, so while he was in prison, he said, actually, you wouldn't
believe the faith of some of these people in that I met in prison and
the walk that they had with the Lord.
And he said, it was wild.
How the stories of the stories that they would tell of the fact that if police
were about to get them, even this is before these people were saved, but the
police were about to get them.
And, um, and they had like a car, like full of drugs and the police were about
to find them and they prayed and asked the Lord, Lord, please don't let them
catch me.
And he said, the Lord would answer their prayer.
Like, Ashley, you try to explain that to me.
He's like, he said, it is wild.
The faith that some of these people who are in jail have because
of what they've seen of the Lord.
You know, and so my goodness, you know, you think that God loves us to such a
degree and that we would just look at how he just handles this world and we
go on, well, that's not love.
And isn't that like, like actually enabling them to hurt themselves and
then that whatever, well, apparently love to God means something very
different than it does here on earth.
Cause there's also times where he just says, no, you don't enable them
and you don't help them.
Well, God will, but, but how does that, this make this situation
different than last time?
Because that looked like enabling, you know, it's just like, there's
something about there's love and you don't understand me.
You don't understand my character.
You don't understand what love is.
You're trying to understand me by looking at worldly law and
trying to compare situations.
He's like, I can't be explained by the law.
Right.
So anyway, so what you're trying to say.
Stop trying to understand God, let him just reveal himself to you and just show, just
just show.
And he allow him to just show up as he wants to.
And then you'll come to understand him better rather than trying to figure him out, trying
to figure out formulas of what this means and what that means and whatever it is a lot.
God can't be understood that way.
He can be understood by the spirit, but he, um, but it's understood like a being not understood
like a figured out, like you can't, and God's not interested in being figured out and God
doesn't hold us accountable to figuring him out.
He's like, I just want you to know me.
Yeah.
Knowing is very different than figuring out.
Right.
Yeah.
Or even understanding or being able to predict or whatever he's like, no, you, you learn
to be like me by getting to know me and then being, that's how you be like me, not by looking
at me and figuring me out and then trying to copy.
Yeah.
So anyway, right.
There's a little bit of copying, you know, that we do as kids, kids, you know, like kids
referring to like us relish our relationship, the Lord, um, but there's, but a lot of times
when we copy, there's ways in which we're not doing it quite right.
And God's like, okay, that's okay.
This is how you do it.
It looked like I was doing that, but that's not actually what I was doing.
A friend of mine, um, uh, uses this picture.
He says like, uh, Chris Black, you know, that I talk about, um, that teaches on the three
realms.
Um, he, um, he uses it like this.
He said, um, it's like, you're watching your, your three-year-old watching your father wash
a car and you're wanting, he's washing it with soap.
And then you, as a kid, you're not fully comprehending what's going on.
You're just kind of watching him.
He said, so what you do is you grab a whole, you know, the, all of the water and the soap
has been like running into the, into the yard.
And so you start picking up some mud.
Now you start scrubbing, you know, and you're just so proud of yourself.
I'm just like my dad, look what I'm doing.
You're not realizing that what you're doing, even though you think it looks like your dad
isn't really what your dad's doing, your dad is just like, okay, you're three.
That's really, that's really cute.
I'm very glad that you're watching me.
Let me show you, since you're showing such interest in being like me, let me show you
what I'm doing.
I'm glad to see the same thing with us.
Right.
So great illustration.
I know.
I thought that was a great idea.
I was like, that's a really good one, Chris.
So what do you, so something that I've kind of been like, um, this has been stirring in
me is that I've, for all my adult life, I've always had a passion for like health and wellness
and fitness.
And I feel like it's like been given to me like from, from God, but now that I'm like
learning about, um, you know, the three realms and the, um, the tree of the knowledge of
good and evil.
And it's kind of like, I don't know where to put that.
And it's like, is God calling me away from that to step into this, like newness with
him to get rid of this knowledge that I have and this knowledge that I've thirsted after
and, um, desired and what, you know, have taught many people and, um, like, what do
I do with that?
Well, so everything that you've been doing, all of that is really great.
And the Lord loves the fact that you appreciate what he baked into creation.
Those things won't go away.
You know, the, uh, the, um, I think I was talking about this the other day.
Sometimes I get a little confused as to whether or not I said it like on, on like a, on a
private transformation session with someone or like the whole group, but is there, forgive
me if I'm like repeating myself, but it's, um, uh, you know, that, that God didn't, isn't
that Jesus came to fulfill the law, not to abolish it.
And by the law, I'm referring to just anything in the creation that he created.
Um, we're not just talking about like spiritual laws.
We're talking about like earthly laws and, and, um, and stuff.
He came to fulfill, not to abolish.
So in other words, there's nothing wrong with anything that God created.
It's been subjected to frustration.
It has, it's acting out of the fat, out of instruction from the human soul in belief
that God's not good and it's not safe.
And so therefore it's now subject to death.
And it mentions in Romans eight, it was subject.
It was subject.
to defrustration, not of its own will, but out, but by hope that it would be saved or
redeemed or something. I don't remember how it finished that sentence, but basically in
hopes that it would have salvation. And so point is that it's not bad. It's just acting
disorderly, because it's because it's acting as if it's has is like, I don't know, subject
to disease and subject to entropy, you know, the law of entropy and stuff like that. And
I do not believe that the law of entropy was in existence before the fall. I believe that
the law of entropy happened as a result of the fall and that now everything's leading
towards, you know, towards that like death and decay. So point is that what it is that
God created, including health and how our bodies work and the laws, meaning like the
physical laws by which they operate. He loves it. He created Adam's body to work like that.
And there was nothing wrong with Adam's before the fall. Right. And, and so showing an appreciation
for what it is that God created, like learning about it, you know, there's nothing wrong
with knowledge. God just doesn't want us to depend on it. God created the tree of the
knowledge of good and evil, called it good, said it was great. He said, just don't eat
of it. In other words, don't depend on it to give you something that you, if you feel
like you're in need, he said, don't use, don't depend on it. He said, you take care of it.
You enjoy, you appreciate it. You use it, but you don't depend on it. You don't use
it for fuel. You just use it as in like you interact with it, you take care of it, you
nurture it, you appreciate it, et cetera. So the same thing with everything it is that
you've learned, those are, um, that's, I think that the, that the world, I could be
wrong, but I think that the world, even under the new earth is still going to operate according
to those same laws and same principles. They just won't be subject to corruption anymore.
We won't have disease, et cetera, but we will have, you know, that leads to death and decay,
that we will have all of the things like we'll be able to eat, but we don't, but we won't
have to eat for fuel. Yeah. We'll be sustained by God, but we can still eat just like Jesus.
Jesus is new body did not have to eat, but yet it could, he didn't have to walk. He could
translate, but yet he walked, you know, he, and, uh, anyway, so, I mean, just like a variety
of other examples that we could give. So I believe that we're still going to have these
bodies and that they're still going to be the same principles that are in operation
now, but we're not going to be subject to them. Now, right now, we believe that we're
subject to them. So if something happens, we have to succumb to the natural law, the
natural result of that law. But, but eventually, you know, what, which is what happened with
Jesus, we're no longer going to have, we're no longer have to be subject to those laws,
but we can choose to use them. We can choose to operate within them. Just like Jesus could
choose to eat and his body would process it, but he no longer depended on food in order
to be sustained. We know that 100% sure, because he rose bodily from the grave. Anyone who
could bodily raised from the rise from the grave does not need to eat. If you can conquer
death, your body is not, it's not, it does not require food. You know, you were apparently
bowling on some other source. So, um, so anyway, it's, uh, so all of those things
are good, but what God doesn't want us to do, what God wants us to learn is how to no
longer depend on all of those things for our salvation. In other words, if we are, if,
if we're in need that, that it's how we eat and how we work and how we exercise and how
we use those principles, that is what is going to save us. So therefore we're in lack unless
we'll use their energy source to fix us. In other words, we're making them more powerful
than we are because we need them. And I was like, no, no, no. I want you to understand
that you're a son of God and that you pull your source for me. And then you can just
use and operate within these principles because you're part of this world. You literally care
in your body. You literally carry the same nutrients, the same molecules and atoms and
elements that I don't know, but that make up viruses and that make up, um, that make
up, uh, I don't know, you know, bacteria and that make up a cell, uh, obviously cells,
but, um, I don't know, just various different things of creation, like, uh, like nitrogen
and oxygen. And I mean, you literally, your body is literally made up of those same elements.
We are of creation. We are of this earth.
And so we're deeply connected with it, but our identity is higher.
Our identity is in the spirit point is everything's that, that you've got, you know, it's all
great.
Cause just like, just, I'm just teaching you how you can depend on me instead of depending
on it.
You can enjoy them because you can't fully enjoy and use to its fullest potential, something
that you feel that you need, because it is always more powerful than you are.
If you need it, but if you no longer need it, then you can use it more effectively.
You can use it to its fullest, et cetera.
So anyway, that, but that's just a journey.
God doesn't expect us to do it overnight.
And in fact, if we kid ourselves and thinking we can do it overnight, that's when we run
into that issue of acting on something that we don't have the faith for yet.
So God's just like, Hey, let's just develop this.
You know, we've got time.
My goodness.
Well, cause that makes me think about like diet, like different diets and as far as like
for healing cancer and like, if I didn't feel like I needed it, I probably wouldn't change
to a different diet.
So like, how do I like, like, like either a plant-based diet or a keto diet for healing
cancer?
Like the only reason I would do that is because I felt like I needed it to cure can't to be
healthy.
Correct.
Yeah.
Cause that's where we are right now.
We can know where God is taking us, but not yet know how to get there.
So we need to act where it is that we are like, is this where you talk about go where
your soul has peace?
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
So we can only act, you know, act on, on the faith that it is that you have, but if you,
if your body isn't like, we can want to believe this all that we want, you know, but we can
be willing to all that we want.
And we can know that eventually God wants to take us there, but if we don't fully know
yet how to do it, then our faith quite isn't, isn't where it needs to be in order for us
to act on it.
And so God's like, that's fine.
That's just not where you are right now, you know, but agree with me in what measure you
can, and then where does your, what, what is your, does your body and soul indicate
to you that they truly believe?
Because that's what they're going to respond to because otherwise we're just kind of kidding
ourselves.
Our body is, continues to respond to diet and that's where we need to go.
We need to give it diet.
I do the same thing with me, you know, with like, I, I watch certain things that I eat
or whatever.
And I know that eventually God is going to teach me how to pull, how to use, how to use
utilize him as my source and how to be sourced from him.
But right now I don't have the faith for that.
I don't fully understand that.
I don't understand how to have faith in him for that other than strictly, Oh, well, if
God says it's true, then it's just true.
And I just don't know how, and I'll just stop eating.
I can say that all I want to, but deep down, if my body doesn't respond to that, it means
I don't actually believe it.
I just want to believe it.
And so I have to just go wherever it is that I actually am believing.
And so I'm like, okay, well then I need to not eat much sugar.
I need to watch how many calories I eat.
I need to, and so I do that because that's where it is that I am right now.
Yeah.
So anyway, but we can know that God is heading it is, is, is has something else for us.
And we're like, and we can ask God, okay, God, what, again, like he's already given
us everything.
So God, what have you given us?
So sometimes you've given us words for it and sometimes you haven't, but even when you've
given us words for it, Lord, like of what it is that you've given us, you have it.
What does that mean?
How do I do that?
How do I access that?
How do I interact with that?
Cause I just don't understand.
So, and it's, it's like a kid learn, you'd ride a bike, you know, just because he has
everything he needs to ride the bike.
Doesn't mean that he, that doesn't mean that he knows how to, his body doesn't know how
to do that.
And so what's going to happen?
He's going to fall.
He's going to get on one of those things.
He's going to fall.
He's going to hurt himself.
And he could actually really hurt himself.
He could hit his head, break his arm, he could, whatever, you know, because he saw his dad
riding the bike.
And so he tried to do it and then whatever.
So just because he, he can eventually doesn't mean that.
He's ready for it now because he has to grow into that.
And we're not condemned until we get there, but God loves the fact that we
want to get there, but he wants us to act in an honor where it is that we are.
Otherwise we can really hurt ourselves.
And he's not even requiring us to be there yet.
Cause he's like, yeah, but that's not where you are yet.
You're you're, you're five.
You're not 15.
You can't ride that bike yet, you know, but I'll teach you how
to ride your own size bike, you know?
Right.
But I have to teach you how to do that.
And your body has to learn balance and all like multiple different aspects
that you have to all work in coordination at the same time.
Right.
And that's not something that, that like a, like a, like a
two or three year old can do.
And we're so used to that.
We don't think about the fact that no, the reason is two or three year old
can't, can't do that is because that many aspects of their body cannot
coordinate all together at the same time.
Like it can when it's five.
So it's not because they're small it's because it can't coordinate.
Same thing with logic.
Logic is built.
Logic is not born into a little baby.
I mean, well, there's certain aspects of logic, but it's very, very simple,
but logical thinking about like results and consequences and very complicated
processes that has to develop in children to the point where teachers
specifically learn how to teach people, how to teach children, how
to develop their logic skills.
How to, how to, how to move from this to this, to this conclusion into this one.
It's, it's learned, right.
You know?
And so anyway, God, God doesn't condemn us for being where it is that we are.
And we can really hurt ourselves by like jumping to somewhere that we
want to be at that we're not yet.
So now I personally have friends who, who don't eat, um, or, or go
through times where they don't eat and I'm just not there, but they've
had to work to get there and not by work.
I don't mean work hard.
I mean, they've had to take that in their own relationship with the Lord
and like figure out how to, how do you have faith so that your
body doesn't need food?
How do you communicate that to your body?
How do you actually believe it to the point that your body responds to that
belief, like where you really believe it, you know, and so, um, there are
even non-Christians that do that.
And they're not even, like I said, they're not even Christians.
So we just, we just take whatever it is.
The Lord gives us wherever it is that we are.
And he gets excited about the fact that we want to pursue new things with
him and that we want to learn new things.
And we want to press in as opposed to just like, we don't
want to learn anything else.
He loves that, but he also wants us to acknowledge where it is that we are
and live there while pressing into the new, as opposed to trying to live
somewhere that he hasn't revealed what that thing is yet.
And so anyway, so yeah, it's helpful.
It makes me feel a little bit more at peace today or a lot.
Good.
So, like I said, what it is that you have enjoyed that you just feel like
gives you life that you've, that you've, that other people's lives have benefited
by you pouring into them all that it is that you've learned the Lord loves that.
He's so pleased with that.
He's like all my words.
See, see Casey understands.
Casey appreciates this and Ashley on the other hand just doesn't, but Casey
understands she's doing it, you know?
And so, um, cause I just, just don't have that interest in like health as much
as, as much as some people I have other interests.
Um, and, uh, so anybody who's just like Casey, Casey understands she can see
that expression of me into the world.
And, um, and she is delighting in me when she's delighting in the things that I've
made, because I thought that they were cool.
I wanted them.
They were a gift that I wanted to give my children.
I just, they're really neat.
I wish everybody loved them.
And so he likes that.
That's not bad.
It's not wrong.
It's not going away.
So, so yeah, he just wants us to rely on him, not yet.
And the less that we rely on it.
And the more that we rely on him, the better that this becomes because we can
you, you can, we can use it more because now we're more powerful than it.
So we can use it to its fullest potential.
We can give it things that it needs because creation is waiting on us.
And yet we keep trying to think that we keep using creation to take care of us.
And creation is waiting on us to take care of it.
And so once the tables are turned, well, um, we're going to start getting so much
more out of creation and health and, you know, and all of that, then we are now.
Right.
That makes sense.
Yeah.
And then my other last question was when will you open up the videos for the rest
of the rest of the rest lifestyle?
Yeah.
rest lifestyle. Um, you know, I haven't, I was talking to Ed about this.
I have not decided because I don't know if I'm going to do them all at once, or
if I'm going to do, I'm kind of like, if I'm like going to spread them out a
little bit, um, I wish what I had done this time for the rest intensive is
opened up all up at once and had kind of like a concentrated, and this is what
I'm going to do in January, going to do a more concentrated teaching in the
beginning and then spend the rest of the time just with everybody, like
learning how to apply all of those things, because it's so much of a whole
package, those first seven that unless they, unless people get exposed to that
information all at the same time, it can feel very confusing because if you're
talking about love one week and then the next week you're learning about one
spirit, and then the next week you're learning about two trees.
And then the next week you're learning about three rounds.
My goodness, it's a whole month before you get to three realms, let alone, you
know, rush shifting tools, et cetera.
So I'm going to have all of that concentrated at the beginning, um, in
January, but for this time, it's different for the rest lifestyle.
It's, um, they're very standalone teachings because it's about like healing
the body and soul, you know, through the spirit and operating spirit, whatever.
So I'll at least open the first one, you know, that first week, but I have to
figure out is how do I want to do the others?
And my whole purpose is how will everybody learn as a group together?
The most effectively, is it opening them all up or is it, um, giving them out?
I'm really not sure.
I figured out what's best the first time, but the second one was a bit different.
Okay.
Was there a reason, did you need something?
Well, no, I was just going to maybe go look, listen to the next one, but it's,
it's no, no, no rush.
Either way.
It'll, it'll be coming up pretty soon.
So, so I'll at least open it up because what are we on?
Thursday, Thursday.
Okay.
Thursday.
So I'll at least open it up within a few days.
So, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
So I'm excited that you're going to be there.
There's at least five people that have registered and then there's at least a
sixth person who said that they want to, and then I didn't know about the rest,
but I've heard five are signed up.
Not sure about the sick.
And then the sixth one hasn't pulled the trigger, but they told me today.
Yes, absolutely.
Going to do it.
Um, and then, um, the others I've known, I don't know.
I think that at least most, if not all of them are going to sign up, but that's
just based off of their responses.
So yeah, everyone has their own journey.
Well, I'm grateful that you're continued on doing it.
I'm excited that it worked out.
I was telling everybody, I'm excited that people want it too.
So anyway, that it was helpful enough to people that it was
giving them what they wanted.
So yeah.
Oh yes, for sure.
I'm so glad.
Well, I'm glad you're going to be one of them.
So it'll be fun to do the next six weeks together.
It will.
Well, I will let you go and I will see you tonight then.
Okay.
Sounds good.
Bye.