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Hey, Casey. Hey, there we go. How are you? I'm doing good. How are you? Good. Enjoyed

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your journey share. I just commented on it. I just now got to watch it. So I was very

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excited for you. That was really hard. She, she did what I had to do one time when I think

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I told you the story where I felt I was spiraling down and I just had to make the hard choice,

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you know, while you're going to a place that's, that feels good. And cause you can feel sorry

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for yourself and you can get upset and whatever, and you have to stop and you choose something

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different. You choose that you're not going to go there or whatever. And she did that.

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Was it yesterday or day before last night? Yeah. Last night. It's really hard. So she

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had just kind of like, I don't know. I think that she said that she had like gotten onto

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her, gotten onto her son and everything. And it was walking back upstairs and just

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like, absolutely not. I am not going to do this. And I'm not going to, I'm so basically

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she said that she felt like she was able to let very in a moment, let go of the old man,

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choose the new man. And then started like acting like the new man immediately, as opposed

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to just like shifting into neutral and just letting go of the old man. She like made the

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hard choice to, okay, I'm going to act like God says that I am. She wouldn't apologize

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to her son. And I think did some other things. So anyway, that's really hard to do. I was

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very excited for you. That's exciting. It is. Yes. So how are you Casey? So, well, it's

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kind of funny you asked that. I'm, I'm, I feel like I'm back into some overwhelm. Like

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I had that last night and then I woke up well, I do just a lot going on in our life. We're

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getting ready to move to a new town. And so that's kind of a new thing, unexpected. And

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with my family, my family's there. So that's a, it's a great move for us, but I'm also

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been and I don't really know how much, you know, but I've been going through cancer stuff.

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And so I have another surgery coming up as well. And so there's, and Christmas coming

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up and an unknown surgery date, which is hopefully going to be in like a week, but we still don't

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know. And so there's just, there's a lot going on and just trying to stay in a place where

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my, I like, I physically feel my body stressed. I think I've been in rest. My husband has

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taken a leave of absence from work for about four months. And so I've actually got to physically

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experience what it feels like to be in rest, which I think I've spent most of my adult

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life in a state of striving and and whatnot. And so now I feel like I'm back in that, that

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I feel the physical weight like on my chest. And it's like, I, as I've learned, as I'm

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learning from Ashley, it's like, I go in and out of it. And since we found out we were

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going to be moving, I've just been having a hard time, like staying, shifting back into

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that state of rest and trust. And what do I do? Because I do need rest. I recently had

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a surgery. I'm going to be having another one. Like, what do I do? And what, when do

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I just like, sit? And, you know, so that's kind of where I'm at.

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Well, I'm not really sure where to go today. I mean, sometimes, like, I'll just get this

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whole, I don't know, call it prophetic download or, or what have you about where someone is

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or where they're going. And I know, just by the way, the only thing I know, other than

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your name, is that I know that you've been through some, some cancer stuff, as you said,

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and that there have been a surgery. And they were very nice. And but other than that, I

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don't know anything, right. So you can just think that I'm very ignorant, or if there's

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anything that I've, I get along the way, it's not because Ashley's told me anything.

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So I'm, I almost wanted to start with the kind of like, what would you like to Jesus

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to do for you today? So I'm not sure what's most urgent for you. I have a couple of random

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thoughts, if you want to call it that things that I'm questions that I have. But if we

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talked a little bit about this in the sense of like,

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If you're feeling more urgent, the need to kind of deal with how to handle what you're going through now kind of like is a, is a.

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I don't want to call it like

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what do you, I just my brain just blanked with the

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what are the sessions that you have transmission. Yeah, whether you want it to be more of a transformation session which is kind of how do you deal with what you're like your current situation, we can we can kind of go that way.

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But I just have this nagging question in my mind and I, I'm just going to ask it right so forgive me if I'm being impertinent or, or stuff but

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I don't, I don't know how to describe how I function, I just sometimes just bizarre.

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And

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I just had this.

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I'll just be honest like I kept hearing the word clogged pores.

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Like a clogged porn your face that that clogged pores then lead to, you know, zits and things like that as you, you probably well know and probably know more about your pores than I do I know I have them but I don't know anything about them.

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And, and there's this kind of like this backup, and, and all I kept having the sense was, and, and it's just that sense right it's just a thing was that you've, you've experienced and seen some injustice in your life.

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As a sense that I have, and if I'm, if this is off this is a just a just, it is just fake that. And there have been some situations, some unresolved situations in your life that were never.

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It was like they that you were put in situations, almost like where there was no possible resolution like it would be kind of like sitting watching injustice and not being able to do anything about it.

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Does that make any sense to you whatsoever, or no, um, I guess the first thing that comes to mind.

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I mean it does it, there are a couple things came to mind for me.

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Sure.

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Yeah, that's really all I had like I was like, I don't even know this woman I'm not going to start saying like hey if you had like rival, lots of injustice done real side are you backed up in life because you have all these unresolved things and, and I'm like,

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but it was all that I had when I started and we don't seem to have like a necessarily direction to go so I just figured I would throw it out there on the off chance there's something.

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Well I guess the first thing is I was raped when I was about 16.

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And then the other thing was that I feel like

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getting with my father. There's.

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I never felt like I had a voice with him. I always got shut down, and I was always wrong.

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And it's almost like that, I can't ever get out what I'm wanting to share what I believe, without be without being called wrong, or look down upon.

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And so those are kind of the two.

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The two things that kind of came up for me when you share that.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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So, now again, I want you to feel safe and I want you to feel comfortable. And if I'm in my questions are talking if I'm touching an area, especially I'm a man and I'm last I checked in.

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I don't want to, you know, and so it can be a little sensitive so I don't I don't want to find anything. Okay. And, and you and the Lord know what is most, what's the highest priority for you.

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Right. And, like, maybe to walk through how to deal with some of the things that you have going on.

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FYI, those two things that you mentioned are things that tend to always come up when head talks to people.

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He's dealt with it.

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So it's all very normal very useful.

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So, I would.

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So my, I don't know like have you had a lot of ministry for either of those types of things.

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Are you familiar with like inner healing or anything at all like that or I am. Yeah, I had some inner healing done, gosh, I'm, but that was it wasn't really with either of those things though.

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I do feel I have gone through a lot of healing with the rape.

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And I don't really feel like that.

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I feel like I'm pretty good with that.

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I think.

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I think a big piece is that we're going to be moving.

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I, my dad lives and my dad is great.

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Um, I mean, I say that cause he is, he's great and he means well, but there's

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also this, as we, he's a deacon in the Catholic church, I grew up in the

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Catholic faith and we're no longer practicing Catholics and so it's one of

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my, one of my anxieties I would say is moving to a town with my entire family

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who goes to this one Catholic church and us being going somewhere else that

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brings up some anxiety because I know my, my dad really wants us to go back

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to the Catholic church and it's kind of been a thing, but yeah.

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Okay.

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Um, no, I'm going to, I'm going to move around a little physically.

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I'm going to look for something as we talk.

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Um, but both of those things, um, as you can imagine, have residual

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effects, both psychologically and, or within our soul and even within our,

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in our bodies, especially like the, you know, the rape and I, I'm not, because

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you feel like you've had a lot of healing there, I'm not going to ask a lot

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of questions related to it right now.

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I'm not saying that it's been done, not been done.

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It just, you just kind of mentioned that, but it seems like the more

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pressing thing is your father.

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And, um, um, our, our, our parental wounds, um, it's like my old pastor

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said, nobody decides they're going to have kids or has kids and thinks to

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themselves, wow, I can't wait to mess these kids up, you know, and, uh, and

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thank God we don't have to be perfect.

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Um, and that we're not, but no matter how great our parents were, um, and

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there's redeeming things in all of them.

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Uh, we all, they're not going, they're going to fall short in the sense

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compared to our heavenly father, who is like the perfect mother and the perfect

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father, and there are aspects that we're supposed to receive from both of them.

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Mothers are nurturing and to protect them and, and to provide some things.

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And the father is really amongst other things supposed to provide safety and

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protection, of course, provision and things like that.

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But also supposed to help to call forth your identity, to really instill a

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confidence in you about who you are and who God has made you to be.

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And no matter how great our parents are, they're going to have, there's

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like trauma A and trauma B in life.

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And most people are aware of one of the trauma.

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I think that's trauma A we'll say, right.

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And, and that's really the one that everybody thinks of, like your rape, for

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instance, not yours, but the incident, right.

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Is, you know, or seeing somebody killed in front of you or something,

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it's something traumatic in that respect.

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But there's this other trauma, which are the things that you were

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supposed to receive, but you did not.

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And oddly enough, as you've kind of stated in your own life, the thing

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that you would imagine to be hardest to heal from would be what we call

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trauma A, which are the things that happened to you, you were abused

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in some fashion or something.

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But oftentimes, honestly, the harder things to heal from is what's the

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trauma B, which are the things that you did not, it's like stunted growth

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or that there are these tanks inside of you that have not been filled.

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And the good news is that there's healing, you know, available

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for those types of things.

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And, um, now I started with a ministry called Christian healing ministries.

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Uh, you know, I didn't know anything about anything.

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I didn't know about speaking in tongues.

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I didn't know anything about stuff.

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I ended up in this ministry.

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They invite me to go to one of the schools, right.

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And I'm in the middle of all of these super Christians in my own mind, you know,

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and they're praying in tongues and doing all that.

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I don't know what this is and what is falling out.

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And what do you need a catcher for?

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What's a catcher?

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Like, I don't know anything about this stuff.

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And they all, the ministry was founded from a really famous, uh, well, he was

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a Catholic priest to start with Francis McNutt, um, and anybody who's part

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of the charismatic renewal and, um, he left the priesthood and got married to

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Judith, um, and so it's, it's a ecumenical, uh, you know, ministry.

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Um, but I started with them and they have some really wonderful.

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And some of the most powerful things are like ones that I would say, like,

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they're amazing and weird.

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They're amazingly weird.

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Okay.

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And one of those things is called a father's blessing, right?

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And now, I've never attempted to do this via Zoom, OK?

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Because the way we would normally do it is, and this is everybody on planet Earth

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has some issues with their parents, as they said many times,

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you spend 18 years of your life trying to learn to survive

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in an ecosystem or an environment, and then you spend the rest of your life

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trying to heal from the damage or the things that you learn to survive

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in that unit don't function in the regular world.

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And that then that's where dysfunction comes from, you know?

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And so there's.

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So during the retreats

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and things that we would do, for instance, almost always

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there'll be some generational stuff, there'll be things on forgiveness,

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but almost always there's some element of healing from the wounds of our parents.

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And one of the things that they have in their disposal

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is a thing called the father's blessing.

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There's father's mother's blessing, you know, and so they'll

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they'll read a canned prayer from the front, so to speak,

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under the, you know, Holy Spirit, and then they'll have mothers

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and fathers around the room to kind of stand in as surrogate parents.

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To allow people to address things.

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And so quite literally, they will stand in place

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of your actual earthling mother and father.

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And sometimes they are speaking on behalf of the heavenly father.

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But it allows these folks to be able to speak and say things to their parents

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that they otherwise would not be able to.

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Now, sometimes it's because they've gone on to be with the Lord.

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Sometimes because, you know, they did things to them when they were young

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and they're no longer those people.

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It would be too hurtful or the person is unapproachable

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or you don't have a relationship with that person anymore.

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But the reality is there are all of these things that we have built up.

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That are killing us in a sense.

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In a sense, right?

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That the Lord wants to come and bring healing to resolve

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so that you can heal, behold, and move forward and go on.

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Does that make sense?

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It does. Yeah.

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OK. So with all that being said.

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I have a feeling that this would be something that would be,

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especially when you get ready to move back with your father.

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There's probably things that you need to resolve with your dad.

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That would probably be difficult to do with him in person.

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And I'm not forcing you to,

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but I'm suggesting that maybe this would be something that would be good

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for you to do, maybe in the time that we have today.

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Would you be open to that?

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I would be. Makes me nervous, but I would be.

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So I'm going to look for

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a book, a little booklet I have while I sit here.

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And if you don't mind, I know that I don't look like your dad.

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Most likely, he probably has hopefully more hair than I do.

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And less, actually, you know, I don't know.

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I'll take that blessing then.

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But I know I don't look like him.

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And and normally I, you know, I'm a hugger.

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So I would like to hug and those things.

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Well, that's going to be a little hard to do.

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I can hug the camera, but I don't think I'd do the same thing.

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So I'm going to quickly look over here in the drawer quickly.

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And I will leave you ask you for just a second while I look. All right.

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So this is I'm trying to remember.

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Did. I haven't done this yet.

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He suggested that I do this with a friend of ours

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who has a father's heart, you know, for both Ed and for me.

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And in fact, I lived with them while I was while I was dating Ed.

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And I'd forgotten that I hadn't done that yet

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because it's very important to me to do so.

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It's really, really powerful.

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And it just it just kind of allows you to allows us to kind of like receive

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the the heart of of a father

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from someone else that surprisingly restores and heals.

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Aspects of our relationship with our real father.

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So it's really interesting how all of that works.

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But anyway, Ed's done it a lot.

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It's what he's kind of kind of known for is that.

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And I think I mentioned that in some kind of like a write up about that.

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It's that he's known for carrying the heart of a father.

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And that's why and like a lot of people that don't even know him.

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That's why they're attracted to him.

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Then they'll come to him across the room and start talking to him

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about stuff like they would their father.

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father, or there'll be struggling with an issues with their father and they

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don't, they don't know it, but because it just kind of like, here's that.

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And, you know, he and I don't have children yet.

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And so therefore, and, but it's just something that, um, that he just carries.

247
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So, which is really neat.

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The Lord's just kind of like give him that.

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So a lot for that, but anyway, I'm excited for y'all and that y'all

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made this decision to go.

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And I knew when you started talking about your father, I was like, wait a minute.

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They're good.

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That's where they're going back to.

254
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It was like, all of a sudden is everything's going to be coming to a head.

255
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So anyway, well, it's like just you saying that it's like, um, I really

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feel like God's just restoring using this to just restore our family and

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restore myself to my identity with my family, because I've spent, I've always

258
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felt like the black sheep in my family, even though we all get along, we love

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each other, but I've always just felt different and so, you know, the Lord

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wants unity and I really think he's just going to be using this time for me to

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grow in, um, who I am and, and, um, yeah, so, yeah, yeah, I agree.

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And I'm excited for you because you know, every God is always all of these,

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every threshold that he brings us to is always to move us into a greater

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level of love and freedom.

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Always.

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And so I think that it's amazing, even though it's been very, and I don't

267
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mean to overuse the word, but what it is that y'all been going through the

268
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past few months has been very traumatic.

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It's been a very intense with all it, with the diagnosis and then all of the

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treatments, trying to make all of the decisions, you know, and then you chose

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to take on the challenge of in the midst of all of that, to see life in a

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different way, to approach your father in a different way.

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You know, your father got by trying to understand, okay, Lord, what do you mean

274
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by rest?

275
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What do you, do you, did you really mean everything it is that you said?

276
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And I'm choosing now in a very intense time to take on a shift in perspective,

277
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choosing a different lifestyle.

278
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And then now in the midst of all this, your, your husband has stopped, you know,

279
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work for, for, um, uh, for four months, you know, just for you and the family.

280
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And then during that time, y'all now made the decision to leave where it is that

281
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you are moved as a lot of major life changes all at once.

282
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And I can just see that the Lord, especially, you know, kind of like again,

283
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culminating in like, in some of this stuff, like this inner healing that you

284
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didn't even know that you're going to get, you know, and that the Lord knew it

285
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was important and the Lord knew that, um, that he wanted it more for you than you

286
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do.

287
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And so I can just see this as being just kind of like this, uh, this, this time,

288
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meaning like this time in your life being a major threshold of there's the

289
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before, and then there's the after from this time.

290
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So I'm, I'm really excited to get, so I'm really sorry that it's been so intense,

291
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but I think that that's because God was taking all of the, God was taking you

292
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through the fire so that everything was wood, Hay and stubble in your lives.

293
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And that had y'all had, like, I didn't know in your perspective, in your

294
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relationship with the Lord, et cetera.

295
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And I don't know your family unit or maybe like your life there, whatever it

296
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was, everything that was of wood and hay and a stubble would burn.

297
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And then everything that was pure would come out of it.

298
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And that God's giving you a fresh start and an opportunity to redeem, um, uh, to

299
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redeem some aspects maybe of your, of your life that felt like in the past, um,

300
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or your relationship with your family and the Lord's like, and the Lord wants to,

301
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uh, and I think that you're going to see a major, major restoration that you're

302
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going to bring that you were pulled away and you pioneered some things in the

303
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faith that you're not going to be able to bring back to, to your family.

304
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And again, it's going to be able to introduce healing, but

305
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it's hard to be the pioneer.

306
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It's hard to be the one that feels like the black sheep.

307
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But remember that God, that those are the ones that God tends to use is, um, he

308
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tends to use the people that received the most attack, uh, the, that were the

309
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most misunderstood to turn around and actually bring healing to those that had

310
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come against them and even caused a lot of the, the trauma and the

311
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hurt that they had to overcome.

312
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Then they now bring the, they bring the, the, the, yeah, there's a, there's a

313
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word for it, but they are now bring that overcoming victory of overcoming the

314
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wounds that these people, you know, were tools to inflict, they now overcame

315
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those things and now offer the victory of overcoming those things to the

316
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freedom of those other people.

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So just so that, you know, you can be encouraged that what it is that you're

318
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doing, isn't just for you.

319
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It's for your family, not just your, your close family unit, but obviously

320
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your parents, your siblings, people that you're coming back to.

321
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So as hard as it is, it hasn't just been for you.

322
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You haven't been alone.

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God's like.

324
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I'm, I'm allowing you to be part of something bigger than yourself, but I'm freeing you

325
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first.

326
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Because you were important to me and not in, you're not being used for everybody else's

327
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benefit.

328
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You're not being used and hurt in order to heal other people.

329
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God focuses on you first.

330
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And then he's like, okay, now that you're healed and whole and with me, now you have

331
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the opportunity to pour out and to heal the rest of creation.

332
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So anyway, I'm very excited.

333
00:25:28.080 --> 00:25:29.080
Well, thanks.

334
00:25:29.080 --> 00:25:30.080
Me too.

335
00:25:30.080 --> 00:25:31.080
It doesn't matter.

336
00:25:31.080 --> 00:25:32.080
I'll, I'll probably just slide this a bit.

337
00:25:32.080 --> 00:25:33.080
Yeah.

338
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The way, the way I describe what Ashley said is that, you know, I think God's vengeance

339
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and our vengeance was different.

340
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And the way it looks to me is that oftentimes the things that they fail, the things that

341
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the enemy intended for evil, God will use for good.

342
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Well, that sounds nice, but, or I would just say sometimes God can heal something instantly

343
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like this.

344
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But when I've seen him lead people through a process, there's an equipping and then the

345
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vengeance of the Lord starts to look like he takes what was meant to do harm to you.

346
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And then he heals you, he raised you up in this place and then turns you into the instrument

347
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of his vengeance.

348
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And his vengeance doesn't look like our vengeance, his vengeance looks like redemption where

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you become the one that goes and rescues, you become the scalpel, you become the healer,

350
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you become the rescuer, you become the deliverer, you become the person.

351
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And that the people that would be otherwise invisible to other people will never be invisible

352
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to you.

353
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And now, now he is act in, you know, vengeance upon the enemy, but you become the instrument

354
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for that thing to take place.

355
00:26:51.120 --> 00:26:54.640
That's the way that I see how God works, you know?

356
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And so I'm sorry for, I don't know all of the things that you're walking through other

357
00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:04.880
than it sounds like you're in a, you have a whole lot going on and I'm so sorry for

358
00:27:04.880 --> 00:27:07.640
those things.

359
00:27:07.640 --> 00:27:14.800
But I, I firmly believe that, that there's something that he is doing in you that would

360
00:27:14.800 --> 00:27:16.800
never otherwise be able to be done.

361
00:27:16.800 --> 00:27:20.800
And it doesn't mean that it's okay and it sucks.

362
00:27:20.800 --> 00:27:24.960
And I wish you weren't having to go through any of these things, but I firmly believe

363
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that he's going to use you powerfully to bring healing and hope to a lot of people on the

364
00:27:30.400 --> 00:27:33.360
other side of whatever it is that you're going through.

365
00:27:33.360 --> 00:27:34.360
Thanks.

366
00:27:34.360 --> 00:27:36.360
I do too.

367
00:27:36.360 --> 00:27:37.360
Yeah.

368
00:27:37.360 --> 00:27:45.640
And also what it is that you are breaking for you will be broken, you know, and, and

369
00:27:45.640 --> 00:27:48.400
I know that Ed is going to work this better.

370
00:27:48.400 --> 00:27:49.400
Yeah.

371
00:27:49.400 --> 00:27:52.400
The cycles, the cycles, this generational cycles will be broken so that your children

372
00:27:52.400 --> 00:27:55.040
don't have to inherit and carry them on.

373
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They'll be able to see a father and a mother and the, and receive the spirit of that in

374
00:28:00.320 --> 00:28:04.640
a way that you didn't receive it because of what you were willing to walk through and

375
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break.

376
00:28:05.640 --> 00:28:09.400
Because remember that what you're breaking is not just what happened to you.

377
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It's what you inherited in your line and everything your parents had to deal with and your grandparents

378
00:28:13.760 --> 00:28:16.560
had to deal with and decisions that they made, you know, et cetera.

379
00:28:16.560 --> 00:28:18.160
We pass those on to our children.

380
00:28:18.160 --> 00:28:23.320
So you're making the decision to break something and it's, it's, and my point is it's bigger

381
00:28:23.320 --> 00:28:24.320
than you.

382
00:28:24.320 --> 00:28:29.280
So it really is very hard and it really is very intense and it really is very heavy and

383
00:28:29.280 --> 00:28:31.100
it really is very serious.

384
00:28:31.100 --> 00:28:35.240
So what it is that you're choosing to do is very significant.

385
00:28:35.240 --> 00:28:38.880
So, okay.

386
00:28:38.880 --> 00:28:43.440
So here's how this is going to work and I know it's going to feel a little weird and

387
00:28:44.120 --> 00:28:46.920
it's why I'm going to kind of just kind of probably get a little closer to you here so

388
00:28:46.920 --> 00:28:51.920
that I can like, you know, stare at you, make you feel uncomfortable and all of that.

389
00:28:51.920 --> 00:28:58.120
But it's just, you know, I can't be there, you know, with you, right?

390
00:28:58.120 --> 00:29:07.160
So I'm going to read some things over you and I'm going to pray first and then, because

391
00:29:07.160 --> 00:29:11.140
I believe this is the divinely orchestrated thing.

392
00:29:11.140 --> 00:29:14.400
This is something that the Lord wants to do.

393
00:29:14.400 --> 00:29:21.220
One thing I've learned for sure is that our parents largely shape how we view our heavenly

394
00:29:21.220 --> 00:29:23.180
father.

395
00:29:23.180 --> 00:29:28.420
And if I were asking people often, you know, I've, I've heard it asked to people, I would

396
00:29:28.420 --> 00:29:36.120
put it this way that, you know, which aspect of God do you most identify with?

397
00:29:36.120 --> 00:29:40.860
Most people are pretty good with Jesus.

398
00:29:41.580 --> 00:29:50.940
A lesser are then okay with the Holy Spirit, but very few people in comparison number wise

399
00:29:50.940 --> 00:29:54.500
are okay with the father.

400
00:29:54.500 --> 00:29:58.780
Because a lot of that, what we understand of the father was shaped by the fathers and

401
00:29:58.780 --> 00:29:59.340
mothers.

402
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:02.680
that we've encountered that have just fallen short.

403
00:30:02.680 --> 00:30:03.640
They've had bad days.

404
00:30:03.640 --> 00:30:04.680
They've been through stuff.

405
00:30:04.680 --> 00:30:05.720
They're victims.

406
00:30:05.720 --> 00:30:08.680
They're just paying forward the damage and the mess

407
00:30:08.680 --> 00:30:12.080
that they've inherited themselves in life.

408
00:30:12.080 --> 00:30:14.400
And that's the stuff that Ashley's talking about,

409
00:30:14.400 --> 00:30:16.080
that there's a certain aspect where

410
00:30:16.080 --> 00:30:18.440
you're drawing a line in the sand and said, thus far,

411
00:30:18.440 --> 00:30:19.840
no more.

412
00:30:19.840 --> 00:30:21.840
It's not going to go forward to my kids.

413
00:30:21.840 --> 00:30:23.760
It's not going to go forward to my generation.

414
00:30:23.760 --> 00:30:25.480
It's not going to go through my grandkids

415
00:30:25.480 --> 00:30:31.120
and my unborn great-great-great-grandchildren.

416
00:30:31.120 --> 00:30:34.920
And so if the Lord brings this up

417
00:30:34.920 --> 00:30:36.720
and this is where he wants to go,

418
00:30:36.720 --> 00:30:39.280
then he's wanting you to heal this aspect

419
00:30:39.280 --> 00:30:43.720
so you can see him in a more complete way.

420
00:30:43.720 --> 00:30:44.680
Does that make sense?

421
00:30:44.680 --> 00:30:46.000
It does, yeah.

422
00:30:46.000 --> 00:30:52.360
I remember my mother, as an example,

423
00:30:52.360 --> 00:30:57.720
she had a Scottish grandfather, a Scottish father.

424
00:30:57.720 --> 00:30:59.040
My grandfather was Scottish.

425
00:30:59.040 --> 00:31:00.960
And he was a tough man.

426
00:31:00.960 --> 00:31:04.480
And he was just a tough guy.

427
00:31:04.480 --> 00:31:08.920
And when people would talk about climbing up

428
00:31:08.920 --> 00:31:12.360
in the lap with their daddy and talking about the father

429
00:31:12.360 --> 00:31:18.080
and your good, good father, the songs,

430
00:31:18.080 --> 00:31:19.360
there were these songs that were out

431
00:31:19.360 --> 00:31:21.000
and they were talking about the father.

432
00:31:22.000 --> 00:31:23.400
It would almost manifest.

433
00:31:23.400 --> 00:31:27.600
Like she just couldn't get it, didn't want to get it.

434
00:31:27.600 --> 00:31:29.400
It made her mad.

435
00:31:29.400 --> 00:31:30.920
She didn't know why.

436
00:31:30.920 --> 00:31:33.280
It made her uncomfortable.

437
00:31:33.280 --> 00:31:37.240
And it was largely because she just couldn't identify with it.

438
00:31:37.240 --> 00:31:39.640
She just couldn't get there.

439
00:31:39.640 --> 00:31:40.920
You know?

440
00:31:40.920 --> 00:31:48.240
And she knew something changed when all of a sudden,

441
00:31:48.240 --> 00:31:50.520
you know, there were these songs.

442
00:31:50.680 --> 00:31:54.360
And she could sing with the top of her lungs.

443
00:31:54.360 --> 00:31:57.480
She could call our heavenly father,

444
00:31:57.480 --> 00:32:00.160
she can call him daddy.

445
00:32:00.160 --> 00:32:04.280
That she could say that he was a good, good father.

446
00:32:04.280 --> 00:32:06.640
She could sing these songs now and embrace them.

447
00:32:06.640 --> 00:32:09.960
And something changed in her.

448
00:32:09.960 --> 00:32:14.680
And it changed her relationship with God as a result.

449
00:32:14.680 --> 00:32:17.840
And I think this is a place where God

450
00:32:17.840 --> 00:32:20.720
is wanting to do this for you.

451
00:32:20.720 --> 00:32:21.600
OK?

452
00:32:21.600 --> 00:32:22.920
OK.

453
00:32:22.920 --> 00:32:23.640
All right.

454
00:32:23.640 --> 00:32:26.760
So with that in mind, I'm going to read just a prayer

455
00:32:26.760 --> 00:32:29.000
that I'm going to pray over you.

456
00:32:29.000 --> 00:32:37.720
And then what I'm going to do, and this is as GPG, PG-13,

457
00:32:37.720 --> 00:32:41.640
RNC-17, whatever it is that you want it to be,

458
00:32:41.640 --> 00:32:43.960
I'm going to open up a time.

459
00:32:44.000 --> 00:32:48.800
And I'm going to literally stand in for your father.

460
00:32:48.800 --> 00:32:51.720
And it's the opportunity to tell me anything

461
00:32:51.720 --> 00:32:53.560
that you can't tell me.

462
00:32:53.560 --> 00:32:56.280
Anything in the natural that you can't tell your father,

463
00:32:56.280 --> 00:33:03.080
that you need to say guilt-free, I want you to say it.

464
00:33:03.080 --> 00:33:05.200
All right?

465
00:33:05.200 --> 00:33:06.960
And you're not going to hurt my feelings.

466
00:33:06.960 --> 00:33:08.480
You're not going to offend me.

467
00:33:08.480 --> 00:33:11.800
You wouldn't imagine the colorful things

468
00:33:11.800 --> 00:33:17.200
that people have said to me over the years while doing this.

469
00:33:17.200 --> 00:33:20.920
And good chance both of us will be crying.

470
00:33:20.920 --> 00:33:22.200
It's OK.

471
00:33:22.200 --> 00:33:24.080
You know, snot is welcome.

472
00:33:24.080 --> 00:33:24.840
OK?

473
00:33:24.840 --> 00:33:26.280
There's good snot and bad snot.

474
00:33:26.280 --> 00:33:27.560
And this is good snot.

475
00:33:27.560 --> 00:33:29.680
OK?

476
00:33:29.680 --> 00:33:33.320
So Father, I thank you for Casey, Lord.

477
00:33:33.320 --> 00:33:36.040
I thank you, Lord, for her father and her mother.

478
00:33:36.040 --> 00:33:38.640
I bless her as a mother.

479
00:33:38.640 --> 00:33:41.440
I bless her husband as a father.

480
00:33:41.600 --> 00:33:43.120
I bless the generations, Lord.

481
00:33:43.120 --> 00:33:47.040
And I pray, Holy Spirit, that right now you

482
00:33:47.040 --> 00:33:50.320
would set the tone and the environment right there

483
00:33:50.320 --> 00:33:53.440
in the room where Casey is.

484
00:33:53.440 --> 00:33:58.320
That, Lord, that you would, the father himself,

485
00:33:58.320 --> 00:34:02.400
would come and preside and overshadow this.

486
00:34:02.400 --> 00:34:06.200
That, Holy Spirit, you'd foster the environment.

487
00:34:06.200 --> 00:34:11.000
But that you, Lord Jesus, would come with your tenderness,

488
00:34:11.000 --> 00:34:16.840
with your love, with your beautiful, fiery, loving eyes

489
00:34:16.840 --> 00:34:21.440
to come and to bring a level of peace into this, Lord,

490
00:34:21.440 --> 00:34:27.120
that there can be resolution in this area of the wounding,

491
00:34:27.120 --> 00:34:31.120
the healing, and the blessings of the father.

492
00:34:31.120 --> 00:34:33.480
We bless you in Jesus' name.

493
00:34:33.480 --> 00:34:35.159
So now you can keep your eyes open.

494
00:34:35.159 --> 00:34:37.480
You can keep them closed.

495
00:34:37.480 --> 00:34:39.040
It doesn't matter.

496
00:34:39.040 --> 00:34:40.960
Whichever you feel most comfortable.

497
00:34:40.960 --> 00:34:43.560
And I'm just going to read to you a father's blessing.

498
00:34:43.560 --> 00:34:44.080
OK.

499
00:34:46.840 --> 00:34:51.199
Casey, a father's role is to protect, to provide, to bless,

500
00:34:51.199 --> 00:34:54.880
and to establish his children's identity.

501
00:34:54.880 --> 00:34:57.120
Maybe your father did that for you.

502
00:34:57.120 --> 00:34:59.160
Maybe he didn't.

503
00:34:59.160 --> 00:35:01.600
Perhaps he abandoned you.

504
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.920
in you or abused you sexually, physically, verbally, or emotionally. Maybe he died before

505
00:35:05.920 --> 00:35:12.720
you were ready or left you for some other reason. Maybe he made you his pet, delighting in you so

506
00:35:12.720 --> 00:35:19.680
much that you haven't been able to break away to be your own person. Perhaps he was distant,

507
00:35:19.680 --> 00:35:25.280
removed, or showed no interest in you, or he terrified you with his anger and rage.

508
00:35:25.280 --> 00:35:33.040
Perhaps he made you the scapegoat for all his troubles so that you suffered for things other

509
00:35:33.040 --> 00:35:40.080
people did to him. Perhaps he blamed you for things that were not your fault at all. Maybe

510
00:35:40.080 --> 00:35:46.400
he worked too much or played too hard and never spent time with you, missed your ballgames,

511
00:35:46.400 --> 00:35:52.880
your dance recitals, and your spelling bees. Maybe he spent too much time with you, forcing

512
00:35:52.960 --> 00:36:00.560
you to become the athlete or the student or doctor or lawyer you never wanted to be. Perhaps he left

513
00:36:00.560 --> 00:36:06.560
you in the care of hurtful, dangerous people. Maybe he didn't see or believe you when you went

514
00:36:06.560 --> 00:36:13.200
to him for help. Perhaps he was just too preoccupied with himself to see anything you wanted

515
00:36:13.760 --> 00:36:21.760
or needed then. I really don't know. If you were willing to hear the words of a broken father

516
00:36:21.760 --> 00:36:28.560
speaking to you, please close your eyes for a few minutes. I realize that I'm not your father,

517
00:36:29.760 --> 00:36:36.800
but please allow me to stand in for him. And in the place of your father who may or may not have

518
00:36:36.800 --> 00:36:44.160
said any of these things, please allow yourself to hear these words. I ask your heavenly father

519
00:36:44.160 --> 00:36:53.520
to richly bless you in the places I failed to bless you. I ask the Lord Jesus Christ by the

520
00:36:53.520 --> 00:37:00.320
power of his cross and blood to set you free now from any harsh or cruel words that I said,

521
00:37:01.600 --> 00:37:11.840
especially the ones you keep remembering over and over. I am so sorry. I ask the Lord to set you free

522
00:37:11.920 --> 00:37:17.920
from heart injuries you sustain from me or from others and whose care I placed you.

523
00:37:18.960 --> 00:37:27.760
I ask the Holy Spirit to set you free from heartache, disappointments, dreads, grief, or rage

524
00:37:27.760 --> 00:37:34.560
you cannot resolve. And I'm so sorry for any other struggles I may have caused you.

525
00:37:35.520 --> 00:37:44.160
May you be healed from being ignored by me or overindulged by me. If I ever made you feel less

526
00:37:44.160 --> 00:37:52.880
than or not good enough, I am deeply sorry and ask you to please forgive me. May the Lord set

527
00:37:52.880 --> 00:38:01.200
you free from working so hard to please me when nothing ever would. May the Lord set you free

528
00:38:01.680 --> 00:38:07.840
from trying to get from me when I never had to give you. I'm so sorry.

529
00:38:09.760 --> 00:38:18.080
May the Lord set you free from blaming me for failing not because I need that, but so that you

530
00:38:18.080 --> 00:38:27.920
can be free to grow, to receive, to achieve, and to be creative in ways you have not yet imagined.

531
00:38:28.640 --> 00:38:35.840
May the Lord give you all the things I was unable or unwilling to give you. May the Lord guide you

532
00:38:35.840 --> 00:38:43.200
in ways I could, I never could, and grant you peace. May the Lord free you from the effects

533
00:38:43.200 --> 00:38:50.560
of my addiction, my anxiety, and my anger. May the Lord free you from feeling that you have to

534
00:38:50.560 --> 00:38:59.120
always be perfect or that you have to be what I expected you to be. I pray that God will help you

535
00:38:59.120 --> 00:39:09.200
see that the hurt and pain I caused you came from my own childhood. It limited me and I'm so sorry

536
00:39:10.400 --> 00:39:18.160
if it has limited you. I pray that God will remove from you any belief that you were not wanted or

537
00:39:18.160 --> 00:39:26.160
loved. I pray that you have no doubt that you are the gender you are supposed to be. I pray the Lord

538
00:39:26.160 --> 00:39:34.000
will release you from any unhealthy bond that may have that you may have with me. I want you to keep

539
00:39:34.000 --> 00:39:44.400
all of that good that came from me and give the garbage to God. My beloved daughter, I love you.

540
00:39:45.360 --> 00:39:54.800
I'm so proud of you. I'm so glad you were born. Take flight, my love, soar into the heights

541
00:39:54.800 --> 00:39:59.840
of God's destiny for you. Fly free and live.

542
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:25.720
Now, when you're ready, you're going to stand in as your dad and now's the opportunity

543
00:40:25.720 --> 00:40:32.400
for all the things that you're carrying, all the things that you have to say, you can say

544
00:40:32.400 --> 00:40:35.400
them to me now.

545
00:40:35.400 --> 00:40:44.520
Dad, I never felt cherished by you.

546
00:40:44.520 --> 00:40:54.160
I was your daughter, but I never felt like I was something special to you.

547
00:40:54.160 --> 00:40:56.760
And I always felt like I could never get anything right.

548
00:40:56.760 --> 00:41:01.760
Every time you tried to teach me something, you just always got frustrated with me.

549
00:41:01.760 --> 00:41:03.160
And I could just never get it right.

550
00:41:03.160 --> 00:41:07.320
I can never make you happy.

551
00:41:07.320 --> 00:41:12.840
And I feel like I've spent my whole entire life trying to make you happy and make you notice me

552
00:41:12.840 --> 00:41:22.240
and for you to tell me you're proud of me.

553
00:41:22.240 --> 00:41:28.520
When I was little, I never felt like you cared about what I had to say.

554
00:41:28.520 --> 00:41:32.360
I always had to, you were always right.

555
00:41:32.360 --> 00:41:40.600
And anything I had to say was always wrong and I always felt less than, not good enough.

556
00:41:40.600 --> 00:41:46.160
Like I'll never, I'll never meet your expectations.

557
00:41:46.160 --> 00:41:52.120
And then whenever I told you these things to you, you never said sorry.

558
00:41:52.120 --> 00:42:03.120
You wrote them off and that was painful.

559
00:42:03.120 --> 00:42:10.720
Dad, I love you and I don't want this separation between us anymore.

560
00:42:10.720 --> 00:42:19.000
I know our face have kind of looked different and I've grown so much in the Lord.

561
00:42:19.000 --> 00:42:27.640
And I just want you to be proud of me and just accept me as I am with my relationship with the Lord.

562
00:42:27.640 --> 00:42:32.400
It looks different from yours.

563
00:42:32.400 --> 00:42:35.280
It doesn't mean I'm going to hell because I'm not Catholic.

564
00:42:35.280 --> 00:42:48.680
Like you just want to know I'm loved.

565
00:42:48.680 --> 00:42:56.600
Even if I don't go to the same church as you, that I love the Lord with all my heart, mind and soul and strength.

566
00:42:56.600 --> 00:43:10.840
And I pray to God that our children grow to love the Lord the same way my children's children and their children's children.

567
00:43:10.840 --> 00:43:13.400
That's all that matters.

568
00:43:13.400 --> 00:43:26.280
It doesn't matter what church I go to.

569
00:43:26.280 --> 00:43:30.800
My beloved daughter.

570
00:43:30.800 --> 00:43:33.680
I'm so sorry.

571
00:43:33.680 --> 00:43:37.560
I'm so sorry for the hurt that I've caused you.

572
00:43:37.560 --> 00:43:47.200
I am so sorry that you felt insignificant, that you didn't feel like you were seen.

573
00:43:47.200 --> 00:43:55.160
I remember when I heard that you were going to be born, I was so excited and I was so afraid.

574
00:43:55.160 --> 00:44:01.440
That I wouldn't be able to be the dad that I, that you deserved.

575
00:44:01.440 --> 00:44:10.000
I'm so sorry that I let my junk and my baggage pour down upon you.

576
00:44:10.000 --> 00:44:18.400
That there were things that you deserved and you needed from me that I just didn't have to give.

577
00:44:18.400 --> 00:44:26.200
I'm so sorry that I was so preoccupied that I couldn't see what was right in front of me.

578
00:44:26.200 --> 00:44:37.680
The times when I convinced myself I was doing things for you, but I wasn't giving you the very thing that you wanted and needed, which is me.

579
00:44:37.680 --> 00:44:42.880
I so badly wanted to be a better version of my father for you.

580
00:44:42.880 --> 00:44:47.040
And I'm so sorry that I failed.

581
00:44:47.040 --> 00:44:55.920
I'm so sorry that I allowed the cares and the worries of this world to get between us.

582
00:44:55.920 --> 00:44:59.200
That I didn't see you, that I didn't recognize you.

583
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:06.240
but I can promise you that I carried you, that I thought of you, that you were at the center of so

584
00:45:06.240 --> 00:45:12.400
much of my motivation in doing things, and I didn't communicate those things to you at all.

585
00:45:15.680 --> 00:45:17.520
I'm sorry that I didn't protect you.

586
00:45:21.920 --> 00:45:29.440
I wanted to protect you from the world. I wanted to protect you from the things, and I didn't,

587
00:45:29.520 --> 00:45:36.720
and I failed, and in my effort to try to protect you by putting upon you things

588
00:45:38.320 --> 00:45:45.040
that helped me feel safer, which is to control things that I, I,

589
00:45:49.040 --> 00:45:58.480
I didn't protect you. I just kind of imprisoned you, and I judged, and I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

590
00:45:59.680 --> 00:46:02.000
And I'm so sorry that I wasn't there for you

591
00:46:03.520 --> 00:46:08.720
when you needed me most, when those things happened to you when you were 16.

592
00:46:12.320 --> 00:46:18.080
As a father, there's nothing more that I wanted to do than to protect my child,

593
00:46:19.600 --> 00:46:24.080
and I didn't, and I couldn't, and I feel like I failed

594
00:46:24.320 --> 00:46:30.240
for all of these things, and so much more. I ask you to please forgive me.

595
00:46:31.680 --> 00:46:38.960
Forgive me for not being there for you. Forgive me for not hearing you and cherishing you,

596
00:46:38.960 --> 00:46:46.640
and making you feel seen, and heard, and loved, and setting a standard from which every man that

597
00:46:46.960 --> 00:46:55.920
ever came into your life had to raise the bar to a place so that you feel loved, beautiful,

598
00:46:56.480 --> 00:47:03.360
cherished, and that you are celebrated to be the amazing person that you are.

599
00:47:05.280 --> 00:47:09.120
I'm so proud of you, though I lack the words.

600
00:47:09.360 --> 00:47:13.680
The control that I've placed on you is really just my own fear,

601
00:47:17.680 --> 00:47:20.800
and I don't know how to deal with things in my own life.

602
00:47:24.000 --> 00:47:27.360
So, Father God, I pray for my daughter.

603
00:47:29.440 --> 00:47:35.200
I pray today that you would break off all of the words that I've spoken over her that have hung

604
00:47:35.760 --> 00:47:42.080
that have hung over her like a cross, like a curse, the things that have hung over her that

605
00:47:42.080 --> 00:47:48.080
she has not been able to forget, the things that have limited her when I've wanted to free her.

606
00:47:52.800 --> 00:47:58.080
Father, cut free every word, disempower every word that I've spoken over her

607
00:47:59.280 --> 00:48:03.360
that still to this day she hears over her in her mind.

608
00:48:05.200 --> 00:48:06.960
Wash away all of the judgment.

609
00:48:08.560 --> 00:48:14.720
I ask you to fill in all the gaps for all the things that I was supposed to say to her that I

610
00:48:14.720 --> 00:48:24.560
did not, that you would fill every place of every laugh, every hug, every cherished word.

611
00:48:26.480 --> 00:48:30.400
I ask, Lord, that you would wake her slumbering spirit that, Lord, that you would come

612
00:48:31.120 --> 00:48:34.880
and bring life into the place of identity.

613
00:48:35.920 --> 00:48:41.520
You'll rise and enliven in her who she really is and who she's called to be.

614
00:48:46.320 --> 00:48:48.640
I ask you, Lord, to set her free from my stuff.

615
00:48:52.000 --> 00:48:53.280
And as your Heavenly Father,

616
00:48:53.440 --> 00:48:54.640
KC, I bless you.

617
00:49:00.640 --> 00:49:05.680
I release all of the love over you today that you needed.

618
00:49:06.560 --> 00:49:07.440
You were creative.

619
00:49:08.320 --> 00:49:09.200
You were wonderful.

620
00:49:10.080 --> 00:49:17.440
You and I are supposed to walk seamlessly hand in hand to be co-creators because I created you

621
00:49:18.000 --> 00:49:21.360
to be one of the most creative people that has ever walked.

622
00:49:22.880 --> 00:49:30.240
And I call forth today all of the creativity that has been stifled and locked up inside of you

623
00:49:30.240 --> 00:49:32.000
that has not seen the light of day.

624
00:49:36.320 --> 00:49:42.720
I speak over you and call the life, your identity and your purpose and who you are.

625
00:49:42.720 --> 00:49:52.000
You are an amazing woman, an amazing mother, and I'm so proud of you.

626
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.920
I'm proud of how you have stayed by my side

627
00:50:02.920 --> 00:50:04.560
when you didn't have to.

628
00:50:04.560 --> 00:50:07.600
I am proud that you have continued to walk this path.

629
00:50:07.600 --> 00:50:10.160
I see all of the decisions that you make

630
00:50:10.160 --> 00:50:13.600
in this secret place, in those quiet hours

631
00:50:13.600 --> 00:50:16.040
where you struggle that nobody knows.

632
00:50:17.360 --> 00:50:19.520
I know every time you've chosen me,

633
00:50:22.080 --> 00:50:24.880
you don't know how many times you've touched my heart

634
00:50:24.880 --> 00:50:25.980
through these years.

635
00:50:31.000 --> 00:50:35.000
I bless you, and I ask, and I sever,

636
00:50:35.000 --> 00:50:38.480
and I ask to cleanse the soul tie

637
00:50:38.480 --> 00:50:42.780
that is unhealthy between your earthly father and you.

638
00:50:46.000 --> 00:50:48.080
I bless you with peace.

639
00:50:48.080 --> 00:50:52.560
I bless you with my gentleness that is so foreign to you,

640
00:50:52.560 --> 00:50:55.580
and kindness, and goodness,

641
00:50:55.580 --> 00:50:58.660
and all of the love that you were meant to have.

642
00:51:00.880 --> 00:51:05.480
Father God, I ask right now for Casey

643
00:51:05.480 --> 00:51:09.500
that you would fill, affirm,

644
00:51:10.920 --> 00:51:12.720
and call to life the areas in her

645
00:51:18.000 --> 00:51:19.720
that were never called to life.

646
00:51:21.440 --> 00:51:25.720
I thank you there are no stillbirths in your kingdom.

647
00:51:26.720 --> 00:51:30.200
And I ask today, God, you would break all the stagnant

648
00:51:30.200 --> 00:51:33.880
that Lord, you would cleanse away all of the things

649
00:51:33.880 --> 00:51:36.040
that have been bottled up over these years.

650
00:51:37.460 --> 00:51:41.100
And Lord, with the pronouncement of her forgiving her father,

651
00:51:42.720 --> 00:51:45.560
I ask that all of the things that have been bottled up,

652
00:51:46.720 --> 00:51:50.240
unresolved, all of the injustice,

653
00:51:50.240 --> 00:51:53.480
all of the anger that had no place to be expressed,

654
00:51:53.480 --> 00:51:55.400
all of the emotions, and the trauma,

655
00:51:55.400 --> 00:51:58.000
and the things that have been stored up in her body

656
00:51:58.000 --> 00:52:03.000
to break down and gently pass from her body.

657
00:52:05.620 --> 00:52:07.700
I bless her kidneys, Lord,

658
00:52:07.700 --> 00:52:12.700
as they literally filter out all the toxins from her body.

659
00:52:15.400 --> 00:52:18.440
Lord, Holy Spirit, I ask you to come over her body now

660
00:52:18.440 --> 00:52:19.560
in Jesus' name.

661
00:52:24.400 --> 00:52:25.720
And bring healing to her.

662
00:52:29.000 --> 00:52:34.000
In Jesus' holy name, do you forgive me?

663
00:52:34.560 --> 00:52:35.400
Forgive you.

664
00:52:39.000 --> 00:52:40.040
How are you doing?

665
00:52:45.840 --> 00:52:50.840
Good, good, I still feel a little heaviness in my chest.

666
00:52:53.480 --> 00:52:58.480
But I don't really know what that's about.

667
00:52:59.400 --> 00:53:04.400
But I feel lighter.

668
00:53:05.680 --> 00:53:08.280
Okay, good, good.

669
00:53:08.280 --> 00:53:09.440
So I'm gonna try something.

670
00:53:09.440 --> 00:53:11.360
Just put your hand on your chest real quick.

671
00:53:11.360 --> 00:53:14.160
And I'm just gonna, so Lord, I bless and I dedicate

672
00:53:14.160 --> 00:53:19.160
her chest, I bless and dedicate her lungs, her ribs.

673
00:53:23.480 --> 00:53:28.480
And Lord, I bless everything that is under her hands.

674
00:53:30.840 --> 00:53:33.760
Lord, I just break the power of any oppression

675
00:53:33.760 --> 00:53:36.320
that is set up over top of her, Lord.

676
00:53:37.880 --> 00:53:39.800
I ask right now that you would break,

677
00:53:39.800 --> 00:53:41.800
right now I command anything that's attached

678
00:53:41.800 --> 00:53:43.640
to her chest, underneath,

679
00:53:43.640 --> 00:53:46.200
that place has been dedicated unto God.

680
00:53:46.200 --> 00:53:48.720
I command you to release and all the heaviness

681
00:53:48.720 --> 00:53:51.800
to come off of her chest right now in Jesus' name.

682
00:53:53.600 --> 00:53:56.800
Off of her shoulders, Lord, I bless her traps,

683
00:53:56.800 --> 00:54:01.800
both of her traps, the sides and the back of her neck,

684
00:54:02.000 --> 00:54:05.200
the base of her skull, and even between her shoulder blades,

685
00:54:05.200 --> 00:54:07.720
that all the anxiety and stress that is stored up

686
00:54:07.720 --> 00:54:09.680
in these places, even in her shoulders,

687
00:54:10.840 --> 00:54:13.480
come off of her lungs and her breathing.

688
00:54:13.480 --> 00:54:16.120
And even that constricting place that comes upon her heart

689
00:54:16.120 --> 00:54:17.200
from time to time.

690
00:54:18.640 --> 00:54:19.480
There we are.

691
00:54:20.320 --> 00:54:22.200
Lord, that you would breathe upon her

692
00:54:23.120 --> 00:54:26.280
and all the oppression I command you now in Jesus' name

693
00:54:26.280 --> 00:54:31.000
to lift off of her and I break the power of all witchcraft,

694
00:54:31.000 --> 00:54:34.280
any type of manipulation and control

695
00:54:34.280 --> 00:54:36.600
that has existed and been exerting,

696
00:54:36.600 --> 00:54:39.120
every backstabbing word,

697
00:54:39.120 --> 00:54:41.200
every place of judgment and criticism

698
00:54:41.200 --> 00:54:44.200
that has been levied against her now in Jesus' name,

699
00:54:44.200 --> 00:54:47.240
I break the empowerment assignment now.

700
00:54:47.360 --> 00:54:49.040
And every enforcing spirit,

701
00:54:49.040 --> 00:54:53.520
I command you to release her and go and do not return.

702
00:54:55.040 --> 00:54:56.560
Shalom.

703
00:54:56.560 --> 00:54:59.560
I speak in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

704
00:54:59.560 --> 00:55:00.400
Amen.

705
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.040
speak the Shalom of God over you.

706
00:55:03.040 --> 00:55:05.300
Father, release your peace.

707
00:55:08.520 --> 00:55:10.320
Lord, I thank you that we're seated with her,

708
00:55:10.320 --> 00:55:12.400
with you in heavenly places.

709
00:55:12.400 --> 00:55:14.660
And Lord, we ascend before you now.

710
00:55:17.280 --> 00:55:21.000
By faith, above all powers and principalities,

711
00:55:21.000 --> 00:55:23.040
above all the heaviness and the busyness

712
00:55:23.040 --> 00:55:24.880
of the stirrings of the world,

713
00:55:24.880 --> 00:55:29.600
Lord, that right now, she be surrounded by you.

714
00:55:30.360 --> 00:55:35.360
By your aroma, by your feel, by your smell,

715
00:55:35.720 --> 00:55:39.840
by your taste, by your voice, by your presence.

716
00:55:46.200 --> 00:55:50.120
Above the fray, and that you would restore her

717
00:55:50.120 --> 00:55:55.120
to her place of righteous, rightful rest in you.

718
00:55:56.560 --> 00:55:57.840
That you, the Prince of Peace,

719
00:55:57.840 --> 00:55:59.940
would come and umpire her heart now.

720
00:56:07.720 --> 00:56:08.760
In Jesus' name.

721
00:56:14.120 --> 00:56:15.400
You doing okay?

722
00:56:15.400 --> 00:56:16.240
Yeah.

723
00:56:18.040 --> 00:56:19.560
Is that too weird for you?

724
00:56:19.560 --> 00:56:20.400
No.

725
00:56:24.000 --> 00:56:25.760
Well, Ashley's still here, she hasn't left.

726
00:56:25.760 --> 00:56:26.600
I just...

727
00:56:26.600 --> 00:56:29.520
I'm just crying, using it to shoot.

728
00:56:34.360 --> 00:56:35.200
There's one other thing,

729
00:56:35.200 --> 00:56:36.840
I don't know, where are we on time here?

730
00:56:36.840 --> 00:56:39.360
I don't want to take up too much of your time.

731
00:56:39.360 --> 00:56:40.200
See if this...

732
00:56:40.200 --> 00:56:41.880
How are you on time, Casey?

733
00:56:41.880 --> 00:56:43.400
I'm good.

734
00:56:43.400 --> 00:56:44.880
Yeah.

735
00:56:44.880 --> 00:56:48.840
I'm gonna see if there's one particular...

736
00:56:56.600 --> 00:57:01.600
I don't know why there was this prayer.

737
00:57:03.560 --> 00:57:04.920
I haven't seen it in a long time,

738
00:57:04.920 --> 00:57:07.960
and I'm not a huge, what I call a canned prayer,

739
00:57:07.960 --> 00:57:10.200
which is one that's been written ahead.

740
00:57:17.280 --> 00:57:19.960
But I would normally have you read this,

741
00:57:19.960 --> 00:57:22.800
but I'm gonna have you read it back to me, if that's okay.

742
00:57:22.840 --> 00:57:26.080
And it's called just simply

743
00:57:26.080 --> 00:57:29.360
the slumbering spirit prayer.

744
00:57:29.360 --> 00:57:31.280
And again, it has to do with just basically

745
00:57:31.280 --> 00:57:34.760
kind of calling yourself to life,

746
00:57:34.760 --> 00:57:36.800
in the space where you should have been,

747
00:57:36.800 --> 00:57:38.640
but maybe you weren't in completely.

748
00:57:40.320 --> 00:57:42.400
So if you don't mind, I'm gonna read it to you.

749
00:57:42.400 --> 00:57:44.400
You can just read it back to me, okay?

750
00:57:44.400 --> 00:57:45.240
Okay.

751
00:57:47.120 --> 00:57:48.520
Thank you, Heavenly Father.

752
00:57:49.640 --> 00:57:51.800
Thank you, Heavenly Father.

753
00:57:51.840 --> 00:57:53.240
That at my conception.

754
00:57:54.160 --> 00:57:55.640
That at my conception.

755
00:57:55.640 --> 00:57:58.240
You breathed your spirit into me.

756
00:57:58.240 --> 00:58:00.440
You breathed your spirit into me.

757
00:58:00.440 --> 00:58:03.320
You created me to be one with you.

758
00:58:03.320 --> 00:58:06.000
You created me to be one with you.

759
00:58:06.000 --> 00:58:07.920
And to have fellowship with you.

760
00:58:08.840 --> 00:58:11.120
And have fellowship with you.

761
00:58:11.120 --> 00:58:13.160
Spirit to spirit.

762
00:58:13.160 --> 00:58:14.880
Spirit to spirit.

763
00:58:14.880 --> 00:58:15.720
Lord.

764
00:58:16.720 --> 00:58:17.840
Lord.

765
00:58:17.840 --> 00:58:20.040
Come and minister to my spirit.

766
00:58:20.040 --> 00:58:22.480
Come and minister to my spirit.

767
00:58:22.480 --> 00:58:24.400
By your grace.

768
00:58:24.400 --> 00:58:25.360
By your grace.

769
00:58:25.360 --> 00:58:27.000
And healing power.

770
00:58:27.000 --> 00:58:28.160
And healing power.

771
00:58:28.160 --> 00:58:30.160
Bring me to life.

772
00:58:30.160 --> 00:58:31.240
Bring me to life.

773
00:58:32.600 --> 00:58:36.040
Lord, come and awaken my slumbering spirit.

774
00:58:36.040 --> 00:58:38.440
Lord, come awaken my slumbering spirit.

775
00:58:39.400 --> 00:58:42.240
Resurrect it unto life.

776
00:58:42.240 --> 00:58:43.840
Resurrect it unto life.

777
00:58:45.000 --> 00:58:47.760
Loose it from the grasp of the enemy.

778
00:58:47.760 --> 00:58:49.800
Loose it from the grasp of the enemy.

779
00:58:50.560 --> 00:58:52.760
Help me to accept your love.

780
00:58:52.760 --> 00:58:54.920
Help me to accept your love.

781
00:58:54.920 --> 00:58:56.600
And to feel your touch.

782
00:58:56.600 --> 00:58:58.000
And to feel your touch.

783
00:58:59.040 --> 00:59:02.040
I bind my spirit to your Holy Spirit.

784
00:59:02.040 --> 00:59:04.920
I bind my spirit to your Holy Spirit.

785
00:59:04.920 --> 00:59:07.080
And to your love.

786
00:59:07.080 --> 00:59:08.800
And to your love.

787
00:59:08.800 --> 00:59:11.080
Restore to me my innocence.

788
00:59:11.080 --> 00:59:13.640
Restore to me my innocence.

789
00:59:13.640 --> 00:59:15.320
Zest for life.

790
00:59:15.320 --> 00:59:16.840
Zest for life.

791
00:59:16.840 --> 00:59:18.400
Sensitivity.

792
00:59:18.400 --> 00:59:19.760
Sensitivity.

793
00:59:19.800 --> 00:59:22.560
Ability to be intimate with you.

794
00:59:22.560 --> 00:59:24.720
Ability to be intimate with you.

795
00:59:24.720 --> 00:59:26.160
And others.

796
00:59:26.160 --> 00:59:27.240
And others.

797
00:59:27.240 --> 00:59:28.560
To have hope.

798
00:59:28.560 --> 00:59:29.600
To have hope.

799
00:59:29.600 --> 00:59:32.160
To use my creative abilities.

800
00:59:32.160 --> 00:59:34.360
To use my creative abilities.

801
00:59:34.360 --> 00:59:36.880
To have spiritual inspiration.

802
00:59:36.880 --> 00:59:38.600
To have spiritual inspiration.

803
00:59:38.600 --> 00:59:40.400
When I'm in your presence.

804
00:59:40.400 --> 00:59:42.040
When I'm in your presence.

805
00:59:42.040 --> 00:59:44.000
Or when reading your word.

806
00:59:44.000 --> 00:59:46.040
Or when reading your word.

807
00:59:46.040 --> 00:59:48.040
Restore also to me.

808
00:59:48.040 --> 00:59:49.600
Restore also to me.

809
00:59:49.600 --> 00:59:51.960
An awareness of my spirit.

810
00:59:51.960 --> 00:59:54.040
An awareness of my spirit.

811
00:59:54.040 --> 00:59:56.160
And the spirits of others.

812
00:59:56.160 --> 00:59:57.800
And the spirits of others.

813
00:59:57.800 --> 01:00:00.800
The ability to exhibit vitality.

814
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:17.000
The ability to exhibit vitality and strength of mind and the desire to experience the glory of sexual union with my spouse.

815
01:00:17.000 --> 01:00:26.000
Heavenly Father, forgive me for the many ways

816
01:00:26.000 --> 01:00:34.000
I have withdrawn from intimacy in my life

817
01:00:34.000 --> 01:00:38.000
and for the bitter root judgments

818
01:00:38.000 --> 01:00:42.000
and negative expectations

819
01:00:42.000 --> 01:00:45.000
I've held in my heart

820
01:00:45.000 --> 01:00:48.000
about my parents

821
01:00:48.000 --> 01:00:50.000
and others.

822
01:00:50.000 --> 01:00:54.000
I acknowledge this is a sin

823
01:00:54.000 --> 01:00:57.000
and truly repent.

824
01:00:57.000 --> 01:01:00.000
Lord,

825
01:01:00.000 --> 01:01:05.000
also forgive me for striving

826
01:01:05.000 --> 01:01:09.000
to win love and acceptance

827
01:01:09.000 --> 01:01:13.000
without the willingness

828
01:01:13.000 --> 01:01:21.000
or spiritual ability to hold my heart open to others.

829
01:01:21.000 --> 01:01:26.000
In the name of Jesus Christ,

830
01:01:26.000 --> 01:01:30.000
I tear down and destroy

831
01:01:30.000 --> 01:01:33.000
all the strongholds,

832
01:01:33.000 --> 01:01:40.000
habits, attitudes, values, and beliefs

833
01:01:40.000 --> 01:01:46.000
I have built to support my bitterness.

834
01:01:46.000 --> 01:01:50.000
Father, I take them all

835
01:01:50.000 --> 01:01:53.000
to the cross of Jesus

836
01:01:53.000 --> 01:01:59.000
and I crucify them now and forever.

837
01:02:00.000 --> 01:02:05.000
Lord, I ask you to restore

838
01:02:05.000 --> 01:02:09.000
all that has been destroyed

839
01:02:09.000 --> 01:02:13.000
by my bitter root judgments

840
01:02:13.000 --> 01:02:18.000
against any person in my life

841
01:02:18.000 --> 01:02:21.000
who has hurt me.

842
01:02:21.000 --> 01:02:25.000
Lord, I ask you to forgive

843
01:02:25.000 --> 01:02:29.000
them and set them free.

844
01:02:29.000 --> 01:02:33.000
Lord, at the same time,

845
01:02:33.000 --> 01:02:38.000
I declare to you and myself

846
01:02:38.000 --> 01:02:41.000
that I choose life

847
01:02:41.000 --> 01:02:46.000
and I choose life more abundantly

848
01:02:46.000 --> 01:02:49.000
as your word promises.

849
01:02:49.000 --> 01:02:54.000
I understand that abundant life

850
01:02:54.000 --> 01:02:58.000
is one filled with your peace,

851
01:02:58.000 --> 01:03:03.000
love, joy, and prosperity.

852
01:03:03.000 --> 01:03:08.000
A life where my value

853
01:03:08.000 --> 01:03:14.000
is defined by who I am in Jesus Christ

854
01:03:14.000 --> 01:03:18.000
and one in which my hope

855
01:03:18.000 --> 01:03:25.000
is based on your never-ending grace and love.

856
01:03:25.000 --> 01:03:29.000
Lord, fill me

857
01:03:29.000 --> 01:03:35.000
with life and give me the strength

858
01:03:35.000 --> 01:03:41.000
of spirit to persist in choosing life.

859
01:03:41.000 --> 01:03:45.000
Enable and encourage me

860
01:03:45.000 --> 01:03:50.000
to be vulnerable to those

861
01:03:50.000 --> 01:03:59.000
who you send to nurture me.

862
01:03:59.000 --> 01:04:05.000
My body, mind, soul, and spirit

863
01:04:05.000 --> 01:04:10.000
set me free from this slumbering

864
01:04:10.000 --> 01:04:14.000
and empower me to bring life

865
01:04:14.000 --> 01:04:17.000
and joy to others

866
01:04:17.000 --> 01:04:20.000
you intended.

867
01:04:20.000 --> 01:04:25.000
In Jesus' name, amen.

868
01:04:25.000 --> 01:04:30.000
Oh, that was good.

869
01:04:30.000 --> 01:04:33.000
Life-giving.

870
01:04:33.000 --> 01:04:36.000
Thank you.

871
01:04:36.000 --> 01:04:38.000
Are you doing okay?

872
01:04:38.000 --> 01:04:45.000
I am, yeah.

873
01:04:45.000 --> 01:04:47.000
So I'm going to pray for you

874
01:04:47.000 --> 01:04:48.000
unless there's something else

875
01:04:48.000 --> 01:04:52.000
that you want to broach at the moment.

876
01:04:52.000 --> 01:04:53.000
I think I'm good.

877
01:04:53.000 --> 01:04:54.000
You think you're good?

878
01:04:54.000 --> 01:04:55.000
Yeah.

879
01:04:55.000 --> 01:04:57.000
You look like you need a nap.

880
01:04:57.000 --> 01:04:58.000
I might.

881
01:04:58.000 --> 01:05:00.000
Okay.

882
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.320
Lord, I just lift Casey to you, Lord, and, um, I don't know all that she needs.

883
01:05:06.320 --> 01:05:14.320
And Lord, what I do praise that for your grace, that you would do more than I knew

884
01:05:14.320 --> 01:05:20.040
or intended, and that there would almost be incidental healing and realignment

885
01:05:20.820 --> 01:05:22.260
and release for her today.

886
01:05:24.760 --> 01:05:28.600
Lord, I don't want to peer too deeply into any of these things, Lord, but I pray

887
01:05:28.600 --> 01:05:33.320
right now that there there's any, um, unhealthy bondage or separate or

888
01:05:33.320 --> 01:05:38.640
connection with her father, that you would cleanse it with her mother, that

889
01:05:38.640 --> 01:05:40.800
you would cleanse it with her family, that you would cleanse it.

890
01:05:40.800 --> 01:05:46.680
If there's any connection left with the perpetrator of that act back when she

891
01:05:46.680 --> 01:05:51.500
was 16, I break the power of that now in Jesus name, I command the soul ties to

892
01:05:51.500 --> 01:05:57.460
be broken and I command every part of that person to release from Casey and

893
01:05:57.460 --> 01:06:01.660
to go back to where you came from, dipped in the blood of Jesus and any part of

894
01:06:01.660 --> 01:06:07.560
Casey from that inner, any other union or any other kind of wound or hurt in her

895
01:06:07.560 --> 01:06:13.240
life that has caused her to feel splintered or that is like little pieces

896
01:06:13.240 --> 01:06:17.780
of her or running around out in the world somewhere or some dimensional plane,

897
01:06:17.780 --> 01:06:25.820
whatever that may be, I call all parts of Casey back now dipped in the blood of

898
01:06:25.820 --> 01:06:32.900
Jesus and the Lord, I call her into wholeness, I call her into wholeness,

899
01:06:32.900 --> 01:06:38.580
Lord, Lord, I ask right now that the blood of Jesus Christ to cleanse her.

900
01:06:39.140 --> 01:06:44.060
I pray Lord, the water Lord of the word that you would cleanse her inside and

901
01:06:44.060 --> 01:06:48.980
out, that you would shine your light into every place within her soul right

902
01:06:48.980 --> 01:06:54.460
now, Lord, to chase away anything that does not belong, to illuminate and

903
01:06:54.460 --> 01:06:58.420
bring to the surface, anything that needs to be dealt with, that there'd be

904
01:06:58.420 --> 01:07:04.020
a resolution or resolving a healing, a redoing deeming and a restory of all

905
01:07:04.020 --> 01:07:08.860
things in her life, Lord, I pray for the courts of heaven.

906
01:07:09.060 --> 01:07:15.900
I ask Lord for the judgment of God, not upon her, but for her Lord to

907
01:07:15.900 --> 01:07:21.260
overwrite the stuff that is happening here, Lord, that you would inject more

908
01:07:21.260 --> 01:07:25.340
of your love, more of your peace and your joy of your character, it says

909
01:07:25.340 --> 01:07:27.060
that the joy of the Lord is our strength.

910
01:07:27.980 --> 01:07:32.540
Well, Lord, if our joy quotient hasn't been very high in life, it's kind of

911
01:07:32.540 --> 01:07:39.260
hard for us to be able to tap into something that we don't even understand.

912
01:07:41.500 --> 01:07:49.820
So I come on her behalf and I say, Lord, make a way, Lord, you put the name of

913
01:07:49.820 --> 01:07:54.900
Perez, you put me into that name and Perez means breakthrough, so I speak

914
01:07:54.900 --> 01:07:59.900
breakthrough, I speak parats, I speak breakthrough into her situations, into

915
01:07:59.900 --> 01:08:05.300
her life, Lord God, Lord, I asked Baal-Perezim, the Lord of the breakthrough

916
01:08:05.460 --> 01:08:09.860
to come and break through the places of stagnant, where things have not been

917
01:08:09.860 --> 01:08:13.540
moving, where there have been chains, Lord, you would break her feet out of

918
01:08:13.540 --> 01:08:18.819
concrete and I called to life what was very clear to me when I first turned my

919
01:08:18.819 --> 01:08:22.819
heart towards her today, that there are creative wells that are yet to be

920
01:08:22.819 --> 01:08:28.819
untapped in her life, that there are creative aspects of who she are that

921
01:08:28.819 --> 01:08:36.140
have not been celebrated and given space of expression, Lord, today, I pray that

922
01:08:36.140 --> 01:08:43.460
you would make a way, Lord, we seal everything that's been done today, Lord,

923
01:08:43.460 --> 01:08:46.620
we say there shall be no backlash and retaliation, the Lord, you would set

924
01:08:46.620 --> 01:08:51.020
your angels about her to guard that not one seed fall to the ground, the Lord,

925
01:08:51.020 --> 01:08:55.380
you would see that this would continue and be the beginning and not just a

926
01:08:55.380 --> 01:08:59.700
momentary moment or that's going to be a fleet, something's going to be fleeting

927
01:08:59.700 --> 01:09:03.979
and passing, that you would continue it in her sleep, that you would raise her,

928
01:09:03.979 --> 01:09:11.140
heal her, teach her, the Lord, our history is not her rabbi, you are, you're her

929
01:09:11.140 --> 01:09:15.580
teacher, you are the one that authors the finisher of her faith, you are the one

930
01:09:15.580 --> 01:09:19.460
that sets before the foundations of the earth who she was, you're the one that

931
01:09:19.460 --> 01:09:23.420
wrote every one of her days before she took a single breath, you are the one

932
01:09:23.859 --> 01:09:29.180
that is the upholder of promises, you are the one that predicts her future, not

933
01:09:29.180 --> 01:09:38.220
her past, not any word of any man that has lived and I say as a man, as a

934
01:09:38.220 --> 01:09:42.939
father of sorts, as someone that has walked in authority even within the

935
01:09:42.979 --> 01:09:53.979
church, I ask forgiveness to you, Lord, on behalf of us all and to Casey for

936
01:09:53.979 --> 01:09:59.980
any time that we have misused our power, that we haven't seen you for

937
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:08.960
you are, where we've been a perpetuator of bondage instead of freedom, where we did not protect you,

938
01:10:09.520 --> 01:10:16.320
we did not believe you, where we have misused our power, and we have made you feel more

939
01:10:16.320 --> 01:10:23.280
insignificant than you ever were meant to. Father, I ask today that you would throw off the bondages

940
01:10:24.240 --> 01:10:30.080
of misogyny, even within her generational line that have kept her

941
01:10:32.320 --> 01:10:39.520
prisoned. And then, Lord, today that there be a washing away

942
01:10:39.520 --> 01:10:43.920
of any bondages that has kept her from being able to come into her fullness,

943
01:10:47.120 --> 01:10:51.360
that you would shower her with promises, that you would wrap her up today like a love burrito,

944
01:10:51.360 --> 01:10:57.440
Lord, that you would rain down blessings upon her, that you would relentlessly and tirelessly

945
01:10:58.240 --> 01:11:05.040
love her into submission, that you would be unrelenting in your love towards her,

946
01:11:05.040 --> 01:11:10.160
that you would assault her with your love, with your kindness, with your joy in who you are,

947
01:11:12.720 --> 01:11:17.280
and that, Lord, that there be some shift and that you not give up, you not stop

948
01:11:17.280 --> 01:11:27.120
until it's done. We bless you, Lord, in Jesus' name. Amen. Thank you so much. Sure. Well, it's great

949
01:11:27.120 --> 01:11:33.520
meeting you. You too. Lord, please, if you know, let us know how, you know, actually know how

950
01:11:33.520 --> 01:11:40.400
things go. I mean, your current events, but to see how things, you know, go here. And sometimes,

951
01:11:40.400 --> 01:11:45.760
you know, I don't need to tell you that emotions can really take it out of us. So, you know, be

952
01:11:45.760 --> 01:11:52.160
kind to yourself and take a nap if you need to take a nap. Yeah. You know, and please do let us

953
01:11:52.160 --> 01:12:01.920
know how things go. And you can't expect your father to change, but things will have changed

954
01:12:02.560 --> 01:12:10.800
because you've changed. Yeah. That's the thing. Yeah. Right. I'm telling you, there's something

955
01:12:10.880 --> 01:12:19.760
shifted today in that respect for you. Yeah. Right. I feel it too. So, yeah. Yeah. This was not a small

956
01:12:19.760 --> 01:12:26.080
thing, I don't think. And I'll let the Lord talk to you about it. But from what I see, I really believe

957
01:12:27.600 --> 01:12:32.160
it's true. And I truly believe that there's a, there's like a healing anointing upon you.

958
01:12:32.800 --> 01:12:37.200
And I saw very strongly that there are, there's a creative aspect of who you are

959
01:12:38.160 --> 01:12:42.800
that you may be aware of, but there's an aspect of it that is not fully emerged.

960
01:12:44.480 --> 01:12:50.720
And that's not just doing crafty things and doing art. All those things may be possible.

961
01:12:51.840 --> 01:12:59.760
It's also creative ideas, creative solutions. And there's just, there's, I feel like there's like a

962
01:12:59.760 --> 01:13:10.320
area of vivid 20k color in your life that's been kind of muted in a sense, like a little bit of a

963
01:13:10.320 --> 01:13:15.280
grayscale set in. And I feel like that these areas that are really supposed to be celebrated are going

964
01:13:15.280 --> 01:13:20.400
to come to life. And I feel like the Lord's going to have his hands on those things and to be looking

965
01:13:20.400 --> 01:13:26.400
for the promises, those things that you've forgotten about in life that he has not forgotten about.

966
01:13:26.960 --> 01:13:32.160
And it would be as if the conversation be, oh, I didn't even remember that. And he goes,

967
01:13:32.160 --> 01:13:37.520
you may have forgotten, but I have not. Well, you know, it's like they say, would I,

968
01:13:37.520 --> 01:13:46.720
could a mother forget her child? And he said, yes, but I never will forget that. He knows you

969
01:13:46.720 --> 01:13:52.720
intimately. And there are, I'm telling you, there's something about you in the, in that creative part

970
01:13:52.800 --> 01:13:59.520
of God that he's wanting to sit and talk to you about. Yeah. Well, it's funny you say that because

971
01:13:59.520 --> 01:14:08.560
creating and create creating has been like a thing for me. Like I feel this need to create,

972
01:14:08.560 --> 01:14:13.040
like, I don't know what it is, but it's, I feel like that has actually been a thing for me these

973
01:14:13.040 --> 01:14:20.240
past, this past probably just a couple of weeks. So, well, I think there's an aspect of who you are

974
01:14:21.040 --> 01:14:26.640
that has gone unexpressed. And that's part of that expression. And that you're going to be

975
01:14:26.640 --> 01:14:33.760
coming into a fuller, for lack of a better term, peacock display of who you are in a

976
01:14:33.760 --> 01:14:41.440
splendor in color. That's always been there. It's just been kind of overshadowed. And I feel like

977
01:14:41.440 --> 01:14:47.600
he is not going to stop until you kind of like, okay, God, I give up. I get it. Okay. I get it.

978
01:14:48.240 --> 01:14:55.760
Like I'm creative. Okay. You're like, okay, I'm pretty. Okay. I like, but I feel that there's that,

979
01:14:55.760 --> 01:14:59.680
that playfulness and there's a restoring of the.

980
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:05.000
in some other things that have been stolen from you in life.

981
01:15:08.640 --> 01:15:12.400
And he's gonna restore them, not just make them better

982
01:15:12.400 --> 01:15:14.640
and make you okay with not having them,

983
01:15:14.640 --> 01:15:16.400
but he's gonna give it back to you.

984
01:15:18.040 --> 01:15:18.880
That's exciting.

985
01:15:20.600 --> 01:15:21.960
That's who he is.

986
01:15:21.960 --> 01:15:22.800
Yeah.

987
01:15:22.800 --> 01:15:23.640
That's who he is.

988
01:15:24.960 --> 01:15:27.480
Do you have anything you wanna ask me?

989
01:15:27.520 --> 01:15:29.920
I thought I did for a second and then I lost it.

990
01:15:31.280 --> 01:15:36.280
I don't know, but oh man, it was, it almost came back,

991
01:15:36.520 --> 01:15:41.520
but yeah, I'm excited for the, you know,

992
01:15:41.640 --> 01:15:45.000
the invitation that, you know, the father just gave you

993
01:15:45.000 --> 01:15:46.600
in so many different areas, you know,

994
01:15:46.600 --> 01:15:49.560
the past several months and that you've chosen

995
01:15:49.560 --> 01:15:51.440
very bravely to step into all of those

996
01:15:51.440 --> 01:15:53.240
and therefore you'll receive, like I mentioned

997
01:15:53.760 --> 01:15:58.360
in a comment on your journey share,

998
01:15:58.360 --> 01:16:01.560
the reward that you're being given is himself.

999
01:16:01.560 --> 01:16:04.160
And it's more, you're being able,

1000
01:16:04.160 --> 01:16:08.760
you're being given an opportunity to step into more freedom.

1001
01:16:08.760 --> 01:16:10.440
And that's the thing that I've forgotten

1002
01:16:10.440 --> 01:16:12.000
was there was something that I was thinking of

1003
01:16:12.000 --> 01:16:13.640
while ago, I was like, oh, I wanna tell her that.

1004
01:16:13.640 --> 01:16:15.200
And it was something about freedom,

1005
01:16:15.200 --> 01:16:16.840
about you stepping into that.

1006
01:16:16.840 --> 01:16:21.840
But you just, oh, that's what it was

1007
01:16:22.720 --> 01:16:26.200
about what's been done here today,

1008
01:16:26.200 --> 01:16:28.480
specifically, you know, in relationship to, you know,

1009
01:16:28.480 --> 01:16:30.760
your father and everything that, yeah,

1010
01:16:30.760 --> 01:16:33.440
you don't know what's gonna come up when you go back

1011
01:16:33.440 --> 01:16:34.760
and like all things that you thought,

1012
01:16:34.760 --> 01:16:35.880
oh, I thought I dealt with this,

1013
01:16:35.880 --> 01:16:36.800
or I thought I was healed with this,

1014
01:16:36.800 --> 01:16:37.640
or I thought it was whatever.

1015
01:16:37.640 --> 01:16:38.760
You don't know what kind of triggers that are,

1016
01:16:38.760 --> 01:16:41.240
can I come up, but remember what has happened here,

1017
01:16:41.240 --> 01:16:42.720
regardless of what you have to,

1018
01:16:42.720 --> 01:16:44.120
because you actually have to walk through

1019
01:16:44.120 --> 01:16:45.720
the thing that you've already decided,

1020
01:16:45.720 --> 01:16:47.080
the thing that you've already healed from,

1021
01:16:47.080 --> 01:16:49.880
the thing that whatever, but life's still, you know,

1022
01:16:49.920 --> 01:16:53.160
so the storm sometimes still rages, right?

1023
01:16:53.160 --> 01:16:55.080
But you can now go through it and rest

1024
01:16:55.080 --> 01:16:56.640
because here's the important thing.

1025
01:16:56.640 --> 01:17:00.480
You freed yourself, meaning like you made that choice.

1026
01:17:00.480 --> 01:17:02.640
You chose that for the Lord offered that freedom.

1027
01:17:02.640 --> 01:17:05.240
And you said, yes, Lord, I take your freedom.

1028
01:17:05.240 --> 01:17:07.800
So you are now, you've unchanged yourself.

1029
01:17:07.800 --> 01:17:12.040
You unshackled yourself from your father

1030
01:17:12.040 --> 01:17:14.640
in like the unhealthy ways.

1031
01:17:14.640 --> 01:17:16.520
So now you're free to enjoy him.

1032
01:17:17.440 --> 01:17:18.280
Yeah.

1033
01:17:18.280 --> 01:17:20.320
You're free to enjoy him because you no longer,

1034
01:17:20.320 --> 01:17:21.960
if you no longer need him,

1035
01:17:21.960 --> 01:17:24.080
if you no longer need what you were trying to get

1036
01:17:24.080 --> 01:17:25.400
from your father for yourself,

1037
01:17:25.400 --> 01:17:27.400
because you've received fat from the Lord,

1038
01:17:27.400 --> 01:17:29.720
now you can thoroughly receive your father

1039
01:17:29.720 --> 01:17:31.840
and enjoy him, your earthly father,

1040
01:17:31.840 --> 01:17:34.240
in the way that the Lord wanted to bless you with.

1041
01:17:34.240 --> 01:17:35.880
So what you're going into now

1042
01:17:35.880 --> 01:17:37.440
and what you have the opportunity to do

1043
01:17:37.440 --> 01:17:40.160
when you live in, when you move to the new place,

1044
01:17:40.160 --> 01:17:45.040
is you have the opportunity to enjoy spending time with him,

1045
01:17:45.080 --> 01:17:47.400
to look forward to it, to be,

1046
01:17:47.400 --> 01:17:52.400
because you're no longer emotionally or spiritually,

1047
01:17:53.040 --> 01:17:55.240
your soul, or however all that works,

1048
01:17:55.240 --> 01:17:59.520
obligated to those old, to the old history,

1049
01:17:59.520 --> 01:18:02.000
to the old connections, to those old,

1050
01:18:02.000 --> 01:18:04.120
like I said, the emotional obligations that you had

1051
01:18:04.120 --> 01:18:05.960
or that you'd felt or whatever.

1052
01:18:05.960 --> 01:18:08.200
And just if it's any encouragement,

1053
01:18:08.200 --> 01:18:10.160
I've walked someone through this before.

1054
01:18:10.160 --> 01:18:13.280
And to this day, I keep checking back with them.

1055
01:18:13.280 --> 01:18:14.440
So how are you and your father?

1056
01:18:14.840 --> 01:18:15.960
And they're like, great.

1057
01:18:15.960 --> 01:18:19.160
Because I, and they said, I finally can enjoy him now

1058
01:18:19.160 --> 01:18:21.080
because I no longer need his approval.

1059
01:18:21.080 --> 01:18:23.080
I no longer, I want his approval.

1060
01:18:23.080 --> 01:18:25.560
I, you know, I love my father and whatever.

1061
01:18:25.560 --> 01:18:26.880
I no longer need him.

1062
01:18:26.880 --> 01:18:29.880
So now I can look forward to seeing him.

1063
01:18:29.880 --> 01:18:32.520
I can now look forward to him coming over my house

1064
01:18:32.520 --> 01:18:33.440
before I would dread it.

1065
01:18:33.440 --> 01:18:36.520
And before it like made the whole evening stressful

1066
01:18:36.520 --> 01:18:38.920
just because my father was just there,

1067
01:18:38.920 --> 01:18:40.600
somewhere in the house.

1068
01:18:40.600 --> 01:18:44.560
And so she's like, now I'm free to enjoy him.

1069
01:18:44.560 --> 01:18:47.000
And so, because she freed herself

1070
01:18:47.000 --> 01:18:49.480
from the, from all of those obligations

1071
01:18:49.480 --> 01:18:51.360
she felt that she had been under.

1072
01:18:51.360 --> 01:18:54.160
So that's what you, so I just wanted to encourage you

1073
01:18:54.160 --> 01:18:55.960
because I don't ever want people, you know,

1074
01:18:55.960 --> 01:18:58.200
when they go through any kind of like a healing time,

1075
01:18:58.200 --> 01:19:00.720
like I've experienced this myself, healing time,

1076
01:19:00.720 --> 01:19:01.960
and then you get triggered or whatever,

1077
01:19:01.960 --> 01:19:02.800
and you think, well, wait a minute,

1078
01:19:02.800 --> 01:19:04.040
I thought we dealt with this.

1079
01:19:04.040 --> 01:19:06.920
Remember what we talked about before, you have.

1080
01:19:06.920 --> 01:19:08.200
And as Ed talks about,

1081
01:19:08.200 --> 01:19:09.960
is you are going around the mountain,

1082
01:19:09.960 --> 01:19:11.160
but you're going up.

1083
01:19:11.160 --> 01:19:14.640
You've already conquered, you've already dealt with,

1084
01:19:14.640 --> 01:19:17.320
you've already shifted into a new belief,

1085
01:19:17.320 --> 01:19:19.240
chosen some, chosen to operate

1086
01:19:19.240 --> 01:19:21.120
in a higher faith in the Lord.

1087
01:19:21.120 --> 01:19:26.120
And so, but now you've got to actually prove to creation

1088
01:19:26.440 --> 01:19:30.000
that what it is that God said really is true.

1089
01:19:30.000 --> 01:19:32.320
You've got, you actually walk it out.

1090
01:19:32.320 --> 01:19:34.400
But the thing is that you have all of the victory

1091
01:19:34.400 --> 01:19:36.440
on your side because you've chosen and it's the truth.

1092
01:19:36.440 --> 01:19:38.960
Now you bring that truth into your kingdom,

1093
01:19:38.960 --> 01:19:39.920
you bring that truth to creation.

1094
01:19:39.920 --> 01:19:43.200
So just wanted to encourage you that no matter what happens

1095
01:19:43.200 --> 01:19:46.000
that might like prompt you to think and question,

1096
01:19:46.000 --> 01:19:48.040
wait, but what about, you know,

1097
01:19:48.040 --> 01:19:49.440
the important thing is you get,

1098
01:19:49.440 --> 01:19:51.800
like Ed was saying, you can't control someone else,

1099
01:19:51.800 --> 01:19:54.720
but you freed yourself because you chose to receive

1100
01:19:54.720 --> 01:19:57.200
the freedom that Christ bought for you and offered you.

1101
01:19:57.200 --> 01:19:59.720
And you chose, yes, Lord, I take that gift.

1102
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:01.640
So anyway, right.

1103
01:20:01.840 --> 01:20:02.480
Oh, it's done.

1104
01:20:02.920 --> 01:20:03.520
It's done.

1105
01:20:03.720 --> 01:20:04.200
It's done.

1106
01:20:05.760 --> 01:20:10.040
It's a powerful thing to, to, you know, it's so strange.

1107
01:20:10.040 --> 01:20:13.480
Like, I don't have to tell you as a parent, right.

1108
01:20:14.480 --> 01:20:19.560
And I'm not a parent in the natural sense, but we go this life cycle with our

1109
01:20:19.560 --> 01:20:23.880
parents about them being kind of like gods in a way, you know, they're these

1110
01:20:23.960 --> 01:20:25.480
all powerful beings in our life.

1111
01:20:25.480 --> 01:20:28.760
I remember I thought I was telling everybody, my dad is the best dad in the

1112
01:20:28.760 --> 01:20:30.440
world and he's the strongest man in the world.

1113
01:20:30.440 --> 01:20:31.920
And where, who told me that?

1114
01:20:31.920 --> 01:20:32.760
Well, he did, you know?

1115
01:20:32.760 --> 01:20:35.640
And they were like, you know, well, how do you know that?

1116
01:20:35.640 --> 01:20:36.480
How do you prove that?

1117
01:20:36.480 --> 01:20:38.440
Because I lived on the street with older kids.

1118
01:20:38.480 --> 01:20:43.080
And then you start to realize, well, you, you, then of course you go in a period

1119
01:20:43.080 --> 01:20:46.640
where you think you know everything, but your parents then start to become more

1120
01:20:46.640 --> 01:20:47.200
people.

1121
01:20:48.000 --> 01:20:55.040
You start to now live in a time when you remember your parents being that age.

1122
01:20:55.320 --> 01:20:59.960
You know, my parents were married at 22 and 20, and I was born a year later.

1123
01:20:59.960 --> 01:21:02.200
And I thought, and then my brother was 15 months later.

1124
01:21:02.520 --> 01:21:06.560
And I thought that was the, that's all I ever wanted until I got about that age.

1125
01:21:06.560 --> 01:21:07.960
And then I was like, they're crazy.

1126
01:21:08.160 --> 01:21:09.320
Like, what were they thinking?

1127
01:21:09.800 --> 01:21:13.880
And, but they become just people in a way.

1128
01:21:14.640 --> 01:21:23.440
Um, and, and you, you know, all too well, the frailties of being a human being

1129
01:21:23.440 --> 01:21:31.880
trying to raise up other people, but there's a thing to forgive someone for

1130
01:21:31.880 --> 01:21:36.680
something that you righteously needed and wanted that they were supposed to give.

1131
01:21:37.600 --> 01:21:40.680
But there's a reality you come to realize that they didn't have it to

1132
01:21:40.680 --> 01:21:45.800
give in the first place because they were just broken, right?

1133
01:21:46.920 --> 01:21:52.000
Doesn't mean we, people will make that connection and be like, oh, okay.

1134
01:21:52.000 --> 01:21:57.000
Those still living in pain from the fact that it was really something that God

1135
01:21:57.240 --> 01:22:00.120
designed you to receive from that person.

1136
01:22:00.280 --> 01:22:01.440
You didn't receive it.

1137
01:22:01.720 --> 01:22:03.560
There's a violation in that place.

1138
01:22:04.240 --> 01:22:04.880
That's true.

1139
01:22:05.480 --> 01:22:09.120
And they were broken and didn't have it to give.

1140
01:22:09.840 --> 01:22:11.480
And God's not going to leave you there.

1141
01:22:11.840 --> 01:22:15.560
That, that hole in your heart, he's going to heal that place.

1142
01:22:16.560 --> 01:22:22.320
But once we see them from that perspective, wow, they're just a wounded

1143
01:22:22.320 --> 01:22:25.560
kid that grew up, did the best they could.

1144
01:22:25.560 --> 01:22:27.200
And then messed me up pretty good.

1145
01:22:27.800 --> 01:22:30.880
Hopefully I don't do, I don't want to continue to do the same thing.

1146
01:22:31.880 --> 01:22:35.240
But that, that, when that, when that happens, something changes, it's

1147
01:22:35.240 --> 01:22:37.760
like, it's like a balloon or something.

1148
01:22:38.080 --> 01:22:43.360
It's like this knotted place you have, you're holding on and then you let, it's

1149
01:22:43.760 --> 01:22:47.960
like, you let go and it just, it just takes off and I'm telling you, I really

1150
01:22:47.960 --> 01:22:51.840
believe firmly that there's something that's going to shift in your life and

1151
01:22:51.840 --> 01:22:55.720
your father and in you because of what you did today.

1152
01:22:57.160 --> 01:22:58.320
Yeah, no, I feel it.

1153
01:22:58.680 --> 01:22:59.440
I feel it too.

1154
01:22:59.600 --> 01:23:01.160
So like, I'm excited to go.

1155
01:23:01.400 --> 01:23:04.440
We're actually going there this weekend to look at houses and I'm actually

1156
01:23:04.440 --> 01:23:05.680
really excited to give my dad a hug.

1157
01:23:05.880 --> 01:23:12.200
So thank you for your time.

1158
01:23:12.560 --> 01:23:17.600
And for just being with me and I look forward to hearing about, you know, how

1159
01:23:17.600 --> 01:23:20.960
things go, let us know about how your time of the holidays and your time

1160
01:23:20.960 --> 01:23:22.120
of your dad goes, et cetera.

1161
01:23:22.600 --> 01:23:22.920
All right.

1162
01:23:22.920 --> 01:23:23.400
I will.

1163
01:23:23.640 --> 01:23:23.960
Thank you.

1164
01:23:24.760 --> 01:23:25.280
All right.

1165
01:23:25.800 --> 01:23:26.160
Yeah.

1166
01:23:26.560 --> 01:23:26.960
Bye.