Hey, how are you doing good. I was like, searching for the link I thought I had it like right
in front of me and then I was like oh my god I had to find the email and I'm trying to
get the AirPods connected. I'm also just looking at my hair now what is going on?
Oh my goodness. It connects.
I sometimes have trouble getting my AirPods to connection I can't figure out why.
Okay now it is. I can hear you fine as long as you can hear me. Yeah yeah I can yeah. Perfect.
So how are you? I'm good. I wanted to encourage you. I thought the offer that you made last night
was incredible. Oh really? Oh good. Well thanks for the encouragement. We were, I know it's hard
when you're on this side of giving the offer you're like it's hard to read but the girls in
my group were talking about like oh I hope she's like offering an extension or something because
I don't want it to end and so they were and so I think people were at the ready so it was really
well done. Oh good good I'm glad. Yeah I realized that I realized well you know they need to they're
wanting to continue so I thought well let's see if I can offer something and so anyway I just came
up with that and I thought that that and tried to adjust it based off of the the holidays what
people were likely to be able to do what I was willing to do right not willing to do you know
for myself for the holidays and so anyway so I'm glad I'm glad to hear that you think that
that it was a good offer. I thought I don't know I'm still trying to work out
figuring out how to price things and not but I thought I thought well what am I willing to do
for that price or what am I willing to to do and then how how much you know am I willing to charge
for that so anyway. Yeah it was a great price and I thought I thought the the way that you
pack and positioned it was it didn't feel like less like obviously it's a little bit less contact
and accessibility but with the holidays it made a lot of sense yeah and it felt like that even the
things even like the um the spirit blessing and stuff like felt like a very substantial like
thing to add on to it yeah yeah good good I'm glad I I appreciate it thanks for the encouragement
and um yeah I was so grateful I was telling Ed you know I said I'm gonna laugh about this with
Lindsay the fact that when I first that um you know I'd never priced anything as high as this
past one you know it's 9.95 and and how and I said we're gonna laugh she's gonna laugh about
the fact that you know she's been pushing me to like you know to to charge a bit closer to
what it's worth etc and kind of like get over my my um my mental and emotional and spiritual I don't
know obstacles to it and I said so I finally did it when I originally I was only going to charge
500 and then I now I charged 995 I said and at the end of it everyone is so pleased with what
it is that they got for it that they're like can we please continue this is a really good
encouragement for me so so very grateful that people were were pleased that they like it because
I know that it's that it's worth um it's it's worth that because I mean my life has been changed
and then I tried to provide that for other people but I don't know sometimes you just kind of
want to make sure that other that um that what it is that you're trying to execute in other words
offer and then help people actually shift into really is something that's um uh how would you
how to put it um being valued and um that it really is working in other words that people
really are receiving what I'm trying to help them transition into as opposed to I'm just doing a
whole lot of talking and then they're all just like I don't know is if I didn't like field people
appropriately and people were joining that just weren't ready and couldn't see the value and
couldn't own it for themselves and so anyway I've just been telling him I said I'm just I'm just
very encouraged and like I said I wasn't planning on offering anything at all and um but then people
kept saying things and so I'm like well that's a good encouragement but I thought yeah but just
because I offer them something to take advantage of doesn't mean that it's actually the thing that
they want to take advantage of.
something else in mind. So reading the room, and it felt
like a very acceptable, like people were seemed excited, like
their facial expressions. And yeah, yeah, it did seem like it.
So I was grateful. And I've already had at least five people
reach out to me and tell me that they want to and one of them
already has and the others say that they're going to others say
that they're going to do it. And then two or three others say
that they're that they're thinking about it just based off
of like, I don't know, timing, maybe price, I don't know. But
what it did, it did. What I did decide, though, is for the lady
that I just can't adjust the times for the lady. That's
because, because I'm dealing with California to her, right?
It's like 10 hours.
There's six o'clock. So they're like, right. That's work. Yeah.
Correct. They're like nine hours difference, I believe. And so
because she is six hours difference from us. And that
would make them nine hours difference from California. So
the only option would be on is to do something on a weekend.
Because you because Ed, you said that you can do something in the
afternoon. And I don't want to take away people's weekends. I
not even on a Sunday, because on a Sunday that I if I did it,
like for four to five, our time makes it 10 to 11 her time, and
then she's got to go to work the next morning. And then for for
the people in California, what would that be? Was that to
figure out that was like, one o'clock or two o'clock? Oh, I
think that's one o'clock on a Sunday. I mean, some people
aren't even out of church by then, right? Oh, you know, if
the if the time like sometimes ours goes still very rare, but
every now and then ours will go to one, just because we have
prophetic ministry and stuff. So that can go over a while. And so
regardless, I mean, people need to eat and especially people
that have children, and I'm just like, No, no, if it's already
going to be 10 to 11, her time, and then versus, you know,
people in California, it's going to be right out of church, if
that and I was like, No, no, I can't do that. So what I'm going
to do is I'm just going to keep it at the same time. And then
just tell her, you know, I'm really sorry that she couldn't
join him. But at least she'll be able to be in the community,
she'll be able to interact. And she'll be able to watch the
replay, she'll be able to and then I told her that I would
give her an extra couple of transformation sessions. So
while everybody else would get one, she'd get three. Yeah, it
was like that. I'm willing to do that. Yeah. But I didn't want to
do too much of like a different, a different program for one
offs too much, because then it's just, I don't know, I
don't know why, but it just feels like too much for me. I
don't know if it's because I'm like trying to, I think might be
like the sheer number of balls in the air that it feels like.
And not that it's like a whole lot of work. It's just like,
it's just two more extra transformation sessions. But I
think it's just, it just feels like I'm trying to do a lot of
admin things. Yeah. So
anything extra any, any, Bruce and I have talked about this
often too, because we've deal with international. Yeah, we
haven't done anything separate. But it's because any, any
deviation is a lot of extra admin. It is. Yeah, it is.
Yeah. So anyway, not to start talking about all of that.
And Bruce was like, I because I wanted to just make sure with
him like the time commitment. I'm, you know, learning. Yeah.
And so he was like, I think it'd be great. So I'm definitely in.
Oh, I'm shocked. I was expecting it to be a doe because it was
like, I know that, you know, he's, he's been without her
three nights a week for six weeks. And so I was like, I bet
you that it's just a no go this time.
It's a very interesting season that we're in. And I think, you
know, because I'm also coming out of what has been a pretty
sleepy season, like, you know, just out of out of postpartum
kind of first year of Hannah's life. Like I, I took a I did, I
just said no to a lot of things. And so I'm starting to say yes
to things again. So I think that's just some of the, but
we're, we, you know, we're, we're sitting on some prophetic
words about, you know, pursuing healing and wholeness. And so
we're saying yes to the right things. Like this isn't like a
supper club. You know what I mean? Like,
well, I say that, I mean, maybe you like Bible studies.
Historically, I just have not gained anything from Bible
studies. No, I avoid them like the plague.
I know. I know. They need a reformation. They need a
reformation.
And I talk about the fact or me with some other, I don't
remember who, whatever it is, it'll be with some man that I'll
be saying something about, you know, like, they don't like,
can you imagine on my word having to sit there with all
those women or whatever? I said, I agree. I don't like to do it
either. I said, my friend in my
a friend of mine in Texas, she and I did it the same way. We're like, we have avoided women's
Bible studies for years for just like, I don't know that whole, oh, that's what it was. Ed was
talking about how there was a group here that meets and at first it was just all of the elders
of the church. And so we've now, we're now invited, even though we're not elders, we're leaders. And
so therefore we've been invited to it. So, but come to find out certain elders slash leaders
VPs no longer go. And he was explaining to me that that happens. I mean, cause this is like,
this is a prayer group. That's the meeting of the leadership of Morningstar for at least 10 years.
And so now some leaders no longer go. And he explained to me that the reason was because
the wives started coming. And so therefore it changed the dynamic of the group. It got a bit
more chatty, got it. Well, not so chatty. Well, it was chatty, but it's chatty. It's in like
prayer request, chatty, like, oh, we need to pray for my neighbor's grandson or we need to
pray for it as opposed to, okay. We're leaders of Morningstar. We need to be praying for like,
yeah. And, and, or, or each other. If it's so often, as you know, leaders that don't have
other people to go to, you know, to like stand with each other and, you know, you're accountable
to the Lord for some things that are going on in the church that you have to like address.
And so that kind of thing. And so he said that a lot of people started,
stopped going because maybe that's why I don't let go. Isn't that sad. So anyway,
it's not sad. I've been there. I understand. I understand. Yeah. So anyway, but hopefully
you've got some good Bible studies around you that are substantial and that you can go to. I just,
I just have not. No, no. We are like, I'm, I'm like, I'm backwards right now. I'm just trying
to get back to like a Sunday service. Just trying to, I'm just trying to get to a regular Sunday
service that I can stomach. So yeah. Yeah. No, I'm, I'm, I'm actually with you on that. So which
by the way, I don't go to all of them. Bill Johnson, you know, cause we do attend Bethel
Reading online, but Bill Johnson mentioned Morningstar. So they had vision Sunday and they
are doing their build and arise, arise and build campaign. And he was just sharing something about
I'm going to probably like mess up the story, but generally speaking, he was talking about Rick
Joyner having this powerful prophetic word about the facilities that are now Morningstar when the
whole Jim Baker thing happened. And he was actually very honoring about Jim Baker too.
And they they've had, they had had him there and stuff like that when he was like repentant and
stuff. But yeah, he was saying that those, you know, that those facilities, like businesses
had tried to take over, but they just failed because it was like meant to be used for like
ministry. And I'm like, I turned to Bruce, I'm like, that's where Ashley lives.
It's those buildings. I feel like I know what he's talking about. That's right. It is. And
ours is the main original hotel that literally right next to the old water slide lake. And so
it's a lake now that they've developed like houses around and it's not owned by,
I don't know if it's owned by Morningstar or not. Maybe the lake is, I don't know.
Anyway, you can still see the old like concrete. I don't know, like cylinder holders, you know,
for like, for the posts at the water slide, you can still see those. It's so weird.
It's so crazy because like, I, I mean, I probably, I think I'd heard Rick Joyner's name, like,
you know, kind of through the, but I had never really, Morningstar had never been on my radar
until you're like, you've moved there. And now I'm like, maybe it's just because I'm like aware
of it, but like now I'm like, oh my gosh, like Morningstar, Morningstar, Morningstar. I'm like,
maybe I just was like, not aware. Like I just wasn't paying attention or something.
Well, part of it has gotten a little bit of a quote unquote revival because Chris Reed has
now come in to take over. And so he's really so that the the church is now probably like doubled
in size, you know, on like a Sunday morning because he's just really drawing crowds. And
of course he's, he's becoming, he's my age. He's literally my age. He's like a few years,
a few months younger than I am. And he's like, but he's got this very unique prophetic voice
and he's, he's refreshing. He's very humble. He's very, so like I said, he's young, he's humble.
He's he's refreshing and he, people are having him on all of these talk shows, like, like Sean Bowles
and, and, and then he goes, and then Chris Reed goes to IHOP and he's really good friends with
Stuart Greaves, who has now taken over for Mike Bickle for IHOP. And so all of that.
So anyway, they're like really good buddies and, um, and that
started last year because they were both being groomed for
their current positions.
And so anyway, they see things a lot of likes.
So point is that it's, uh, that's drawn a lot of attention
to Morningstar because there's this new prophetic voice whose
prophecies on like literally global prophecies are coming
true.
Like he prophesied, uh, Liz trusts, uh, being, being, um,
uh, becoming prime minister, but he didn't know who she was.
He just prophesied about that.
It did a dot.
And then sure enough, it was, um, it, uh, she was, uh, became
prime minister and of course did the kissing of the hands.
It's like the last act, the last official act that queen
Elizabeth did was before she passed.
Anyway, so stuff like that.
And he, he prophesied, uh, Nancy Pelosi's husband, um, getting
into the scandal that he did, but he didn't know what it was.
He just knew something really bad was going to happen to the
Pelosi family.
They needed to be, everyone needed to be praying for him,
et cetera.
So stuff like that.
And I don't know a few other things, dream that he had that,
uh, where an angel came to him and sit and told him that I say
it's a dream, dream, visitation, vision, um, that John, the
beloved is still alive in the caves of Turkey that went viral.
Oh, wow.
And so there are some people who obviously just said, oh,
well, that's just ridiculous because it's not like John is
still alive and I can't believe that he would actually go around
saying that he is.
And, and then there are other people like, oh my goodness, can
you believe that that, that that's true?
And there are others that are just like, well, I don't really
know, but they're fascinated by the idea anyway.
So that stuff like that has just gotten him very well known.
And then of course, now he does the school of the prophets.
And so sometimes now when he goes around and, and, um, and
does like a podcast interviews or whatever, he'll try to
promote the school of the prophets.
So more people are hearing about morning star or looking it up
and are coming to the school.
So anyway, variety of reasons, um, new people, uh, new people
and old people, meaning like people who used to be part of
morning star a long time ago, they're all coming now.
So, but, um, we just heard, uh, I don't remember if this was
Chris who said this, or if there was Ed who said it said that
there are multiple people that are expected to start coming
and speaking.
And I thought it was specifically at SOP.
I could be wrong at school of the prophets.
And one of them was mentioned as bill Johnson.
Oh, yeah.
And I thought that was fascinating because he's been here before,
but not since I've been here.
So I just didn't think that the relationship was.
Close in recent years, but apparently they've been in contact
with him and then several other big names that they said are
going to start coming in.
So I think that, that Chris, you know, with the baton being
passed, um, just is getting, uh, it's adding a refreshment, um,
maybe to people's interest.
I don't know.
I never heard of it.
So, no, I mean, that's fascinating.
It's just, it's very, very cool.
Um, so you've lived in Turkey.
Did you come across John?
I did not.
I wish I had, I've thought about that so many times.
In fact, one of the people based one of the guys here, he's
a student at the university.
He's older.
I mean, older, meaning like he's in his twenties as opposed to like 18,
but he went to Turkey over the summer because of Chris Reed's
prophecy, looking for John.
He was just so big, hoping so badly he'd come across him.
And I was like, well, I've been there.
I've never met.
I'm not familiar with having ever met John, but I really wish I could have.
That would be really cool.
Maybe one day.
So what a fascinating time.
What a fascinating time to live, be so connected and it is.
It's interesting.
Sean Bowles just released a word this week and I listened to it just
because he had promoted it as like one of the most important words that.
He felt like he had given a long time.
So I was like, oh, I'm curious what this is all about, but he was
talking about the season of the pivot and I'm sharing it with you just
because I know that you and Ed are prayerfully considering like, yeah,
what would it, what would the next, what would transition be?
And so he talked about how people are going to be transitioning at
rapid rates in this like year, next year, you're probably like, I
mean, you're probably already ahead.
You've experienced so many pivots in the last year, but he said, it's
going to feel like people having conversations, like leaving the
church that they thought that they would always minister at and selling
the house they thought that would be their dream home and, you know, moving
from the state they always thought would be home base, things like that.
So I just thought it was really fascinating.
And he said that the reason for it is, and it's definitely, it's
definitely an act of obedience.
Like it's something that the Lord will place on your heart, but it might not
make, it might not, it would be maybe the thing you never considered or not
the thing that you.
thought you, the movie you thought you would make, but it's a repositioning for
kind of like a great reset for, um, a harvest season and people need to be in
certain places and moved.
And so I thought that was, I thought it was fascinating just based on some of the
things that even Bruce and I are perfectly considering right now.
And yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, cool.
Well, I saw somebody else post that prophecy, but I didn't, it was, it was
just, they posted the video and I didn't click on the video.
So it was weird.
I mean, I just, I, nobody said it was positioned like a, it was prophetic
warning because he was positioning it like you want to, you know, and I feel
like, um, Sean, I've always felt like Sean is like a big brother, like type,
but like, he's very, he's not aggressive, very powerful, not aggressive.
So even a prophetic warning from him is, I would say, uh, easily digestible.
Oh, okay.
Got it.
And he was just saying like, um, his warning was like, don't hesitate to obey.
Like don't sleep on the don't sleep on it basically, because the timing is
important and it's not something that you want to like miss out on.
Yeah.
So that was kind of the, the warning part of it.
The gist of it.
Yeah.
Fascinating.
Yeah.
Okay.
Cause I was wondering what it was about.
I didn't click on it.
So I'm doing like, I wonder what that's all about.
Yeah.
So anyway, how are you?
I'm good.
So I was thinking like, you know, all that we've been discussing and, um, you
know, heading into our holiday week, um, being with family, I think I was asking
the Lord for just some clarity on where I'm feeling like, cause there still is
that, that, that feeling of being triggered, like kind of the hesitancy of
like not fully looking forward to being in the same house with everyone.
I'm like, Hey, why is that?
Is that just like hurt feelings from the past?
Is that like unforgiveness?
And I think some of it is around this, what we've been talking about, like, and
I might not fully understand it, but the will aspect, because I feel like, and I'm
not even, I don't feel like anyone made me do this, or I think it was something
that I chose looking back, I just wasn't aware and it was to like, Kind of weaken
my will in a sense, because Bruce is such a, there's such, there's such a strong
willed family, like they're very persistent and they endure and there's
like, and there's a lot of strength to that, but I think in that context with
minor things, like, you know, I mentioned like my mother-in-law asked me 40 times
about my sister-in-law's play, like those types of things, like the persistence and
then not taking my first no as like a final no, I think that I have like over
the years kind of weakened my will to kind of just constantly just submit or
like withdrawal and so I think that's where some of the pain points are for me
is I'm struggling to like show up fully and I think it has to do with like the
will piece of who I am. I don't know if I'm even making sense.
No, it definitely does because the, as soon as she started talking, the idea
that, that, you know, just kind of impressed on me was this, the sense that
you weren't looking forward to it because you, you're always having to be on your
toes because you've approached it always as what am I now going to have to react
to? What am I going to respond to? So in other words, you don't own your neck this
next week. You just always have to be ready to handle whatever everybody else
decides. In other words, in any conversation, somebody walks up to you or,
or they're, they're not even near you, they're across the room and then you're
geared towards what is now, what does God now expect of me? Do I need to handle
that? Do I need to, do I need to pray for them? Do I have, it's just like, it's
just everything is if your whole life is being directed by, especially like when
you're around them, directed by what is required of you and you've got to make a
split minute decision to be obedient, of how to be obedient. You've got to figure
it out and you've got to do it.
And this translates to, this is a, it's a great, like, cause it's happening now,
but I'm realizing this translates to everything. My business relationship, even
with Bruce, like making decisions on like what we're going to do, how we're
going to move forward. I find myself and he's, he's very good with me. Like, it's
not like he's pushy or aggressive. He is quick action, early adopter. Like we are
different in that way, just anyway. But I struggle to feel, to trust my decision
making ability, my discernment, my, like, even just feeling like if he's feeling
like we should do something and I'm like, can we hold off? I struggle. Even if I
feel like he'll receive it, that's the scary part because I'm like, what if I'm
wrong? And so like, to your point, I'm constantly in this, like, almost like
this hyper negotiation mode internally of when to like take action, when to not
take action.
Oh, there's a lot of doubt that comes anyway, because is this even the right move? This family
situation is kind of, I think what the Lord is using to like, like kind of the whole, show me
the whole picture of how that's manifesting in different areas. Yeah, no, that, yeah, that
definitely makes sense. Yeah. Um, so, well, you know, what are your, uh, what are your thoughts?
I mean, how did you kind of want to, I mean, are you, I'm wanting, maybe I want to kind of circle
back to the, if you have any insight or anything you've walked through when it comes to that,
you know, you talked about the maturing of the will. And I think I was really taken by that
because I feel like that was, it was, it felt like a new concept, but it felt like it resonated,
like something I needed to pursue. I feel like I don't even know I've so operated in this mode.
And I was talking to, um, the woman I'm doing like the, uh, quantum healing is what it's called
thing. And she had pointed out that sometimes we inherit faulty operating systems usually from
parents. Yeah. And it's, and you know, what I love about her is like, it's not like this long
process to rid it. It's just kind of like you recognize it and then you pray and release it
and kind of, you know, cause the Lord has this original operating system, but she has said one
of the things she felt like we had identified in our conversation was this faulty operating,
this faulty operating system of fear. And it manifests itself in, you know, kind of the
usual things you would think of like anxiety, you know, panic, but also like feelings of inadequacy.
And she said failure of, I mean, um, fear of failure, but also fear of success.
Yeah, absolutely. And I thought that was so interesting. Cause I was like, I feel like
I definitely don't know if I've ever put that language to it, but that's like, it's feels
that instability of constantly being like, I don't want to fail, but also the, I don't want to take
on more responsibility. Cause I already feel so responsible. I don't want to take on more
responsibility of success. And like, I kind of feel that way, like, so in the family dynamic or
even in the business dynamic, that looks like I just want to withdraw because if I'm right,
then I'm having to lead something like a lead, a decision, lead a plan being seen
like out. And that feels like a lot of work. So I know that's a lot of, of things, but I'm
wondering if like, it's that there's, there's like a, it's the operating system where I've
released this, this operating system of fear, which is really, I think has weakened my will.
I don't even know if I'm using the right terms, but yeah. Bring it like I'm, I'm bringing back my,
I'm coming back into alignment and choosing powerfully my real operating system. And I
think I have to like build this muscle of will. Yeah. That's how I kind of feel. Yeah. So it's
basically reconnecting with yourself. Cause right now there's a disconnect. Exactly. See, there you
go. That's all. Yeah. Just like, Hey, it's a, it's a disconnect. So it's the same, which is why,
you know, you can have that fear of failure, but also that fear of success is because either both
that the fear of failure means, you know, obviously, you know, that, that self-doubt,
which the fear of success can be as well, but also the, that, that fear of success is,
you know, you just have this with a, with a disconnect from yourself,
you know, you just have this with a, with a disconnect from yourself with success requires
something of you. And, and there's, there's kind of like lack of better phrase, there's attention
on you. And I don't even necessarily mean from people, but like what you said,
it's just kind of like this responsibility or whatever. And you and success is challenging.
If you don't, aren't there to show up. Yeah. I know that that might sound weird, but in other
words, not to just steward the success, but to actually just participate in it, it, it,
it actually requires you. But if we've taught ourselves that we're the thing that could
actually be that, that we're the thing to be avoided because we're the thing that could
potentially destroy ourselves or other people, or, or we, or we're likely, or we're the thing
that we're always having to fight. So if fight our decisions, our will, our wants, because they're
all bad. And so if we just simply disassociate ourselves from ourselves, then we stop having
to fight so much kind of thing. So anyway, because, because we can find ourselves instead of
being a joy and something to kind of ride the ride, the power of, which sounds really weird,
but almost like just like harness and just, just kind of enjoy the forward motion of it.
That's what I'm trying to say. The forward motion of who it is that we are. I don't mean power,
like we're this powerful being, but I just mean like the forward motion that God placed into us
that.
And, and anyway, I don't remember exactly grammatically how I was
phrasing that sentence, but the point is that, that, uh, we're.
That we're not grabbing a hold of that.
And, um, and therefore we just consider we're, we're avoiding
ourselves instead of enjoying ourselves.
We think that we're, we're fighting ourselves instead of using our energy to,
I don't, um, well, the, the word that keeps coming to mind is, is enjoy us,
but it's like grab, it's almost like, um, it's more than simply accepting
ourselves, we actually have to kind of like grab a hold of ourselves kind of
like, as if you're kind of grabbing the bull, the bull by the horns, kind of
like, or grabbing life, you know, by the, by the reins or whatever is we
have to do that with ourselves.
We have to actually act offensively towards, towards ourselves.
The fact that we grab it and, and we think of ourselves as this positive
thing that almost like there's like this, as if there's like this force
within us that, um, can be acknowledged and, um, not used, but experienced.
Yeah.
And that it can actually produce good things.
So me, I made that transition.
Um, I mean, I'm still working on it, but, um, I mean, like I went from, from.
Doubting myself completely and not having a will, not
having decisions, et cetera.
I started doing that.
I mean, uh, I made that really big decision in December, 2018.
Remember where I told the Lord, I said, Lord, I'm not going to make, I'm
not going to live life very differently.
And prior to this, I've made my decisions based on what you told me.
And if you didn't tell me to do anything, I wouldn't move until you
told me to move forward or backwards.
But now Lord, and then Lord, if you tell me to do anything, well, I would just
look at what it is that I didn't want to do and then avoid what it is that I did
want to do.
And, um, so now Lord that opposite is simply, um, I'm now going to do
whatever it is that I want to do.
And so that's, that was weird for me because I had to turn off my phone.
Um, there we go.
Um, uh, it felt really, really strange because I, I always interacted with
myself as if I was selfish and as if, you know, I was just, like I said,
just, I was destructive.
I was a problem.
I was something that always had to be battled, something that
always had to be fought.
I required a lot of energy of myself because I was always having to stifle.
I was always having to be, I was always having to be, to be very vigilant of
what was coming up out of me or trying to come up out of me and make sure that I
was, that I was on the ready to, to, um, be on the defense against it, against
myself, it's just, it is, it's just very exhausting.
So what I began to do is I began to trust that there were good things in me and I
just began to, let's see if I can think of some examples, but I just began to act
on them, act on things that I wanted to do.
And like an exercise, like actually, like I just see that visualization of like,
just try it, like lift the weight.
Yeah.
Yeah, correct.
And, um, so one of the things that I, the very first thing that I did that was in
line with that was I bought a $2,000 business course and that to me, it was a
very, very, very big deal because for one thing I, I did have a job, but, um, I was.
Um, that I, I was, how would you put it?
The, the, the relationships were strained with the contract that I had, because
that was the contract in which I was being bullied by one of the owners.
And then, so I was the guy who looked like I was, I was the bad, I looked like
I was the bad guy because of course that's how he presented it and et cetera.
And so I was relegated to reports, et cetera.
And the Lord told me, actually, this is my provision for you right now.
So, but telling you what, it was very, very humbling because I was
low man on the totem pole.
It was, it was, it was actually pretty wild, but anyway.
And, um, and that eventually I hurt my, my ankle, I twisted it.
And so I had to, um, I had to, I don't even remember how I did it,
but I think I did it at home.
But anyway, the thing is that I, um, I was at home and all of that.
So there was like this disconnective of the relationship, but still it was just
kind of, and so I was working on stuff from home, but it was strained.
There wasn't a whole lot that they gave me to do.
I think I was probably on hourly by that point.
Um, and so I was only getting money for whatever it is that I was getting
hours for, and I didn't have any new clients coming in.
So it was just kind of like a precarious situation, you know,
from the worldly standpoint.
And, um, all I knew is that I had lived life.
As far making decisions based on what I explained.
And this is where I was and I'm like, okay, let's go big or go home.
Let's take really big risk.
Let's try to do something different.
Let's try to create something different.
And so I, I spent $2,000 when I was in a financially precarious situation.
Like I said, I had the money.
I, I must've had it in savings somewhere, but I only had so much.
So the point was it really was a big risk because oh my goodness, surely
I'm going to need it in the next few months.
But I risked big on the front end and I did it and I did it without really asking
God, I kind of did, but I just kind of like opened my spirit and like, okay, do
I, do I at least not hear a no.
And then I went forward with it because I was still too afraid to ask God directly.
Cause I thought I always had this expectation.
If I want anything, he's always going to say no.
So anyway, I just kind of like opened my spirit and just like, okay, well, do I
feel, do I feel freedom in it?
I was like, well, I do.
So I'm going to go ahead and do it.
Um, but a good portion of it was me just deciding it's what I wanted and me
finally pursuing something that I wanted, pursuing a dream, pursuing a possibility,
pursuing, you know, just, uh, pursuing something that I just wanted for myself.
And then I told them in the, that one of the first things in the course was
they asked, you know, why are you doing this and pick a goal and to work
towards that goal so that you could always remember, and of course
this is a non-Christian course.
So they were always just like, so what's this goal that you're going to work
towards, like X dollar amount, or what do you want to do with your life or whatever?
And I told the Lord, I remember where I was sitting.
I told the Lord, Lord, just FYI, I'm going to be building this business based
off of this course that just, which is teaching me how to move my business
consulting online, and then I am going to do this to build my business up to move
to London and I'm going to do it by May.
That's the end.
This is in January.
And it's like right at the very beginning of January, I think about the course of
like January 2nd or something, you know, it was very new.
And so I told the Lord, you know, this is what I'm going to do.
And so I basically just kind of like opened up and dreamed big.
And then I made a decision.
Now I'm not saying that I made a decision it with this heart in me
of like rebellion against the Lord.
It, but I, but there was an element in which I had to just really step out on
finding what I wanted deep down within me and actually, actually stepping out on it.
Um, so that's what I did, but understand everything I'm
describing I did from a very hurt place.
So what I recommend to people to do now is what I began to do.
You know, as the Lord began to teach me to trust in him and to
trust that he loved me, et cetera.
Is then I would make decisions based off of the fact that, oh, well, first of all,
let me explain that when I told the Lord that I would, um, that I was going to go
to London and that's what I, or that's what I was going to work towards.
I felt life come into me and, and I feel he was excited about it.
He was pleased.
And it wasn't necessarily that I was going to London that he was excited about.
It was just the fact that I was dreaming of something that I wanted to do.
And I was so excited and he was excited that I was excited about something, you
know, and that was just new for me that I could, that God could be delighted by the
fact that I was delighted by something that I could just enjoy something.
And cause this, this wasn't, and this was very different approach for me because
before I always thought, well, God's only pleased if you're doing his will.
And his will is these things that he's got you to do that are always working
very specifically towards executing on a particular agenda and getting to a
particular spiritual destination.
So something very important spiritually could be accomplished.
And so if, if you're, if there's anything else that, that, um, that the only things
that are worth it, and the only things that make him happy are anything along that
thread, anything in addition is frivolous, you know, it's just, it's not important.
Um, in fact, it, it just gets in the way it's, it's distracting you, you know, it's,
it's you being like childish and weak and you just wanting all the cool things, et
cetera.
So I had to begin to, to, um, to just choose, especially once the Lord began to
teach me, you know, that he really did love, really did love me.
And then he really was who he said that he was.
He would kept providing for me.
He kept protecting me, et cetera.
Then I had to learn how to make, how to act out on my desires because he loved me,
you know, and just, and just, um, and, and that's why I tell people, you know, I
recommend that it got, if God doesn't always tell you exactly what to do, my whole
point in telling you all this is, this is how I, how I built up my will.
I had to reaccess who I was.
And part of that is what I wanted.
Like, what do I.
want? And how do in other words, how do I feel? Am I mad because
they talk to me like that? Do I like being in the situation? Or
do I not like being in the situation? That was a bit more
challenging for me to deal with. So instead, I chose because I
always just thought I was in the wrong in any situation. If if
somebody wasn't happy, anything that involves somebody else, I
was just apparently I was in the wrong. That's how I thought of
it. So for me, the easier thing to do was something that
didn't have anything to do with anybody else. And it was just
something I could do for me, that was easier for me to kind
of like get a touch point of reconnecting with myself again,
because I was not dealing with any triggers, where I was more
sensitive and triggered by situations that included other
people. So I'm having to pick something that allows me to
reconnect with myself, that didn't have me as triggered,
already was hard enough, because I already thought I was bad, I
already thought that anything that I wanted was, if I wanted
something, it meant God was going to require it of me. And
it meant that he was going to sacrifice, I was going to be
required to sacrifice it. So I just didn't want because if you
don't want, well, then God won't take it away from you. And you
won't be disappointed. So let's just not go through that
heartache. And let's just not want it. So anyway, that's why
when I'm talking to you about like maturing your will, that's
what I used. And that's why because the anything to do with
people to triggering, so it's like, well, what else can I do
to like reconnect with myself. And so I chose what it is that I
wanted to do. And so I would figure out, well, what do I want
to spend my time on? What do I want to what do I want to read?
One of the really big things for me was buying things. Is there a
particular type of clothes, some clothes that I would just really
like to buy, or I would be out shopping and seeing stuff. And I
saw something that was completely impractical that I
thought, you know, there's there's better ways to be
spending my money. And, and I would I remember, I don't
remember what it is that I bought, but I remember standing
somewhere and intentionally choosing it in order to teach
myself to want something and, and obtain for myself the thing
that I wanted. In other words, to want something and follow
through on the want.
That is big for me. That was, I mean, from there's there was
never a time in my life where that was celebrated or, or that
hurts my heart. Well, I mean, it wasn't for me either. But yeah,
I mean, to hear it from you. I know my parents loved me in that
way. And they definitely like, blessed me in ways that they
could, but they're very frugal. Yeah. And so I just I and so I
I've carried that even through my marriage, like, like, just
not ever feeling the permission. And Bruce is like, so generous
with me, like, babe, buy it. And I like, yeah, I fit it
physically brings me pain. Yeah. Yeah. Correct. Like, I'm trying
to explain to him. I'm like, babe, it's not you. Like, I
know. But it's like, it physically brings me pain to
life. Yeah. Yeah. So that's huge.
Yeah. So that those are some things that I did to help mature
my will to have reconnect me with something. So we can talk
all day about, oh, like, acknowledging that there's
nothing bad in you. And that God really does see you that way.
But what are we going to do to act on that? That's, that's,
that's helpful. So I had to grab things, I had to grab things and
figure out how can I act on it. And so I'd be I'd be like at
Ross or at Marshall's, which might sound silly, but I would
be at those places, because sometimes you can find some
really cool finds. And, and so I would find something there. And
I think, okay, you know, I don't have much money. And, and
I really don't need to be buying this, I don't need to be buying
things, period. In fact, I probably shouldn't even be
shopping, I should be at home working, or I should be doing
da da da da da. But to allow myself to not just do it,
because, again, you know, just saying, Okay, if God says I can
do it, I could just do it. That doesn't have my faith. And
therefore, I'm not going to be like supported when I step out
on the action. So it actually required me to fully enjoy the
moment. I couldn't just do it. And just like, okay, I just need
to buy it, I just need to make myself do it. That's not gonna,
that's not gonna help. Because the whole point is me choosing
first, that what God says about me is true. And then acting on
it and enjoying the whole experience, as opposed to being
nervous. And and thinking, Oh, my word, I hope this works. Or I
hope I'm not going to suffer for this. I hope I'm not going to
bear consequences, but fully and truly owning the decision.
And that was something that I learned a lot from, from Chris
Blackaby. The way that he refers to it as is he said, actually,
you need to make a strong decision. Like a power. So that
yeah, yes.
powerful choice. He said that that's how he would always describe it to me. He said,
Ashley, if you're, if you're wondering, he said, you know, seek it out with the Lord as best you
can. He said, and then just whatever it is, whatever you do, make a strong decision. And
what he was saying was own your decision, be responsible to the Lord for the decision that
you make as opposed to, okay, well, God, I'm going to do this because I think you're saying
that I can do this. So, you know, you know, your head's on the chopping block for this,
you know, because I'm just doing it because I think you say to is what I, what I had to learn
is I had to learn, no, we have to own our decisions before the Lord, Lord, I'm doing this
because I believe that you say that this is who I am. And this is the, and this is how it is that
you want me to operate as a mature son. And I'm learning on, this is my practice, Lord.
This isn't even me like doing anything big. This is just me being at the store,
just buying something. This isn't talking about like building some business and making these
really big decisions that are affecting people because Lord, that is something that I have to
be more mature in my will in for me to be able to execute on as a mature son of yours. That's it
acting on yours in my character. And right now I'm just trying to get, uh, trying to work with
and water the little seedling of a, of a will that I have. So this is me practicing and maturing
that thing. So anyway, I had to learn though, that, that what made it important was not me doing it.
It was, it was me coming into agreement with it, with the fact that God says that I'm good
and then strongly as Chris would say, you know, making a strong decision. In other words,
owning the experience, the moment, me taking it and feeling and choosing that I have a right.
In other words, I don't mean right. As in like, God's even necessarily okay with me buying that.
Cause sometimes I don't know, right. But I'm just like, but God, I need something. And I,
I feel like I do anything that I like, and it's wrong. So I have to break that Lord. Somehow I
have to break out of that thinking. It's like this ironclad thinking, and I do have to bust
out of it. And the Lord is so gracious. He gives you, he gives you the, um, the chance to just
kind of like break out of it in whatever way that you feel that you is appropriate for you to,
you know, and you're just like, okay, God, I I've never done this before. I felt like anything that
I do is wrong or anything that I would choose is wrong. But if you say that that's not true,
then Lord, I found something I really want. So I'm going to, this is part of it, honoring yourself,
honoring what it is that you want and the fact that you want it and actually allowing yourself
to enjoy you wanting something as opposed to, as opposed to our default, which has been to fear
what we want. In other words, fear that we're wanting something we've become afraid of that,
that feeling that will rise up within us of desire or want or whatever. And we have to learn to enjoy
it. And that's weird. So standing in the store, I'd have to learn to enjoy the excitement of the
fact that I have found something I wanted and I am going to let myself buy it as if it was this
Christmas gift that I've always wanted to be able to have. And then someone was coming along
and buying it for me. That is how I would do it. I was always choosing that God was buying it for me.
Like God is honoring. He's looking at the desire in my heart and he's honoring who it is that I am.
And the fact that I want things for the reasons that I want them. In other words, I appreciate
certain things that he's created in life. And I am. And so I would just, I would choose that that's
what I was doing and that's what was going on. And then I would honor that, that feeling of
wanting me. And I would thoroughly enjoy the experience. I'm like, okay, I can't believe it.
You know, the excitement that you feel whenever you have let yourself buy things and you feel
like you have permission, whatever that excitement and that anticipation that, oh, this really is
good. When you stop hindering yourself from thinking that it's. You stop hindering yourself
and you stop thinking it's bad. It's that kind of a thing. It's like you fully immerse yourself in
the experience and allow yourself to do it. And I, and, um, the word's not ignore that. I, I,
I do not come into agreement with any fear that creeps up that, but what if this is wrong?
And am I going to have to bear a consequence? I'm choosing no Lord. The reason I'm buying this
thing is honestly not for the thing. I'm I, I do want the thing Lord, but the reason I'm buying
this is because I'm choosing to come into agreement with the fact that I am who you say
that I am. And therefore this is a way for me to act on it. And I believe that you would, that you
in loving this want in me would like, uh, would like that.
And it's this desire that want to be fulfilled.
This Lord is your goodness.
This Lord, this is,
this is you manifesting your goodness in my life.
And that's what I would do.
And then, so the whole point is.
Making a whole moment of it. In other words,
thoroughly enjoying the moment of it,
thoroughly enjoying standing in line as opposed to rethinking and
analyzing question.
Fully own the decision. You've already made it.
And say, this is what I want to do.
And fully own it,
take responsibility for it and not responsibility is in like,
you're waiting for the gauntlet to come down,
but full responsibilities in like, no, I can make decisions.
And these decisions are good.
And then you buy it and whatever. And then you, then, you know,
taking it home. You, again, you thoroughly own the decision.
So,
and then you have, you know,
you have to be fully aware of who you are,
who God says you are, who God says you are.
Those are very powerful.
That those are powerful thresholds to cross that really,
honestly we'll start breaking things off.
And that will help you get a bit more of a connection with who it is
that you are.
But, you know, obviously will,
before we go on to other stuff, like the.
Other people.
Does that all make sense?
Yeah.
It's like, I totally get it that this is what I focus on,
but it's like, what does that practically look like? Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. So that's really helpful.
Also.
I don't know if this will resonate with you at all.
I would imagine a way with how you've had to watch or eating or
whatever, but.
You know, because of like, I don't remember what you said.
I don't remember.
I don't remember that I've had to watch.
Like a meal.
One of the ways that I was step out on things is like,
what is it that when I would go to a restaurant, what would I allow?
Myself to get more if I was making myself breakfast,
what do I want to eat?
You know,
or do I want to take extra time and extra long time eating my
breakfast this morning or whatever it was a little,
it was things like that.
I would just practice doing it. And, but again,
the whole point isn't just acting on it.
It's thoroughly owning the decision and enjoying the acting on it.
As opposed to being afraid the whole time.
Wondering, you know, if, if,
if something bad's going to happen because you've done it,
because that's why we've been avoiding it this whole time.
We think that it's something bad's going to happen if we follow
through.
So this time we have to follow through with it.
And not believe that something bad is going to happen,
that God's going to be upset or whatever, because again,
We're trying to do is we're trying to learn how to act more and more
according to his character.
Right.
Not.
Not to just live LaVita Loka and however we want to.
We are wanting to know, Lord, how do I, how.
Who are you and how do I live like your son?
How do I live powerfully like your son?
As a king on the earth, having dominion.
By,
By being a loving king that sacrifices for his kingdom.
That sacrifices for creation.
So you have to know who you are and you have to show up.
So you have to like reconnect with yourself so that you can actually be
a strong enough game.
To be able to sacrifice yourself.
Meaning like, you know,
You know what I mean by sacrifice.
So, but anyway, it, so that's,
those are some things that I did trying to figure out what else also I
told the Lord, I began to grow in things like, Lord,
this is what I really want to do for business.
And I am telling you what I thought so hard again,
this is before he taught me about rest.
I thought so hard to make things work.
And I worked for at least.
I literally worked for 11 months before I got my first.
Like legitimate paycheck. I mean,
I've gotten some in the summer for some like marketing that I did that I,
and that was something I tried not just.
Failed.
But it wasn't until like December of the following year,
December, 2019, that I got my first paycheck.
For something that I really wanted to do.
Because all of the other stuff,
even the marketing stuff wasn't something that I wanted to do.
Sorry, I'm moving the pillow down here.
So I don't have to have it on my lap.
I don't have to have it on my lap.
But all of the other stuff that I had to do.
Was something that.
The marketing wasn't something I wanted to do.
It was just to help kind of like give me money until I,
while I could, while I work to make the other stuff work.
Which was things like,
I think it was like doing a life coaching or something like that.
That's what I did in the beginning. And then.
I think it was, I think it was,
I think it was like doing a life coach kind of a thing.
And in December and so anyway, it took a long time,
I had all kinds of things and the Lord took care of me provided for me.
I, I made some really big decisions of like, okay, I'm going to risk this.
And I'm going to try this and I'm going to buy this course.
And I'm going to do this and I'm going to throw myself into this.
And I'm going to like, I just, I worked.
I don't know, between 10 to 14 hours every day, you know, just
trying to get things work to work.
And it took like 12 months.
I was emotionally exhausted.
And during all of this time, of course, you know, the Lord is stretching
you spiritually and learning things about my identity, et cetera.
And so the thing is that my, my point in telling you that is I was just.
During that time I was, I didn't know how to do it and rest.
And for half of that time, I didn't know to do it because God loved me, but I just
knew that the way that I was living wasn't working.
And so I thought, okay, how can I actually act on what it is that I want to do?
So I began to try to connect in a variety of ways.
And so my point is that I, that I, that I don't believe that your journey
is going to be like that because mine was from a desperate place of not
believing that God loved me, et cetera.
But the point, my, my point telling you all that is even when I was in that type
of a situation where I didn't believe that God loved me, he still took care of me.
I was, I was trying so very desperately to pursue where is he and, and is there
something good in me and does he like me?
And can I actually live life doing things that I want to do?
And he lovingly protected me and safeguarded me during that time where I
wasn't in agreement with the fact that he loved me and he still protected me.
So it's that much of a precious thing to him to be, it's like a non-believer
trying to claim something for themselves because simply because God is good.
Even if they don't know to call it God, they just believe surely I can live like
this and that's just how they frame it for themselves.
Surely I can live.
Well, I mean, why not?
Why, why can't I live like that?
I mean, nobody else is telling me I can't and there's no God.
So therefore, you know, I can, I can do whatever it is that I want.
And the heck with everybody else who says that I can't and
God lets those people succeed.
And he talked, Moses talked to the Israelites about that and said, Hey,
look, the Moabites and the Amorites and the Edomites, they are not God's chosen.
And yet they all conquered the same people that your forefathers felt that
they couldn't conquer, even though God gave them an, a, an exact promise for it.
And God gave them the land.
So there was a way in which, even though they didn't know to call it God, they're
like, well, why can't we, why can't we conquer them?
So my point is that if God can do that for people who are non-believers or
for people who aren't believing that he's good and that he loves them, it's
much, it's much more blessed and protected.
If he could protect me in that situation where I was, I don't want to say I was
in rebellion against the Lord, but I kind of was, I was mad at him and I didn't
feel he was safe.
And so I felt a little isolated and abandoned alone.
And if he could, if he could safeguard me while and protect me and provide me a
safe environment to make mistakes when I was in that situation, how much more so.
When you're trying to step out now, believing that he loves you and whatever
now choosing that, okay, the reason I'm doing this is because he says he loves me.
So Lord, will you teach me who I am?
Because I have to know who I am in order to be that King.
Who is that King?
And what is she, what does she want and what aspects of, of her are in
heaven that need to be brought to earth.
I need to connect with that.
And so anyway, he loves and honors that fact.
And so we can just kind of like, just rely on that and choose that.
Hey, this thing that I did or this thing that I bought or this
decision that I made is a good thing.
But yeah, I would do that even for business and God.
God protected me.
Oh my word.
I had so many failings and it was so hard, but what it is that I learned
through it was that was I learned who he was and that's really what it was all about.
It wasn't about succeeding.
It was about learning who he is.
And, and so that I definitely, I definitely did.
And then of course there's stuff like with relationships, you know, where
you're, and the thing that I did is to help myself own myself.
My decisions was, I stopped analyzing, you know, by analyzing replaying,
you know and and then I stopped.
I stopped believing that I was, I stopped emotionally requiring
something of myself when I would go into a situation like to stop.
To stop claiming emotional.
Responsibility for everyone else.
So that is a decision that I would make before I would go into
situations is before I would like go home for the holidays, or I would go.
See him for like a Sunday dinner or something is I would choose.
Okay.
They don't belong to me.
God doesn't hold me responsible for them.
And he also knows that I'm in a time in which I'm trying to connect with me.
And then I can't hear me if I'm always outwardly focused on how is everybody
else and how are my interactions with everyone else?
So he, um, so I just, again, I chose God and learning who it is that he was
and who the, I am in relationship with him over how situations would turn out.
Like if I'm going to like a Sunday dinner or whatever, I'm like, okay,
no, I choose as my higher priority.
And the thing that is most important to me of, of developing who it is that I
am with the Lord and developing my understanding of who it is that I am
with the Lord over, um, over protecting myself from, from, uh, over ensuring a
particular outcome or protecting myself from, from what other people could think
about me or how something could fall out or what God even would, um, how would
you pick that or, or that, or what God even would expect from me related to the
situation.
And, and I know that that sounds weird and it sounds like the opposite of what I
was saying, but that's because what we think of when we're approaching our
situations with other people is we we've done it from an incorrect foundation.
We've done it from this perspective that we believe that God's holding us
accountable for things that he's actually not holding us accountable for.
So even though it sounds like we're saying, oh, I'm going to be, I'm going to
choose, you know, to learn about God over being obedient.
It's actually not because all we're trying to do is to break our, our old
approach of honoring him and obeying him from this, from, um, our, our incorrect
view that we are being held accountable for something that God says he doesn't
hold us accountable for.
And yet we don't understand how that's true.
So in our minds, it feels basically like we're violating our own.
Uh, self-made religion is what it feels like we're doing.
Yeah.
So, so yeah, so that's what I would do, even though it feels like that self-made
religion is actually what God has told us to do.
I would abandon that and choose this new thing that God was inviting me into that
felt vague, even though this was specific and I could grab a hold of this better
because I'd practiced this had rules, this had structure, this had expectations
and I was doggone good at it.
And so, but there's this whole vague thing that he's inviting me into.
And I can't seem to move into that while I'm still holding onto this.
I can't seem to make a balance to make an easy transition.
So what I did is I just toast this and thought, well, let the
chips fall that where they may.
But by doing that, remember you're a son of God.
So you're always going to, if you approach every situation like that,
owning yourself and knowing who it is that you are, you're less likely to
operate out of your soul, you know, and out of like being selfish and all of
those things, but even if you do, it's okay, because remember you've chosen this
over this, and so God will provide you a protective environment in order for
things to, um, you do not have to bear the heavy consequences of maybe something
that you've actually done.
He'll like, he'll, he'll take care of things because he knows
the reason why you're doing it.
You're trying to choose something that you don't really know what that thing is.
And this is the best way you know how to do it.
And so even, so if like, like, like what we've been talking about, if people
could learn some of this stuff in high school and they could be as messy as we
know from the outside that they all look to be, and we all just allow them to be
and just know, Hey, look, we've had that time too.
It's just partly how you figure it all out.
Why can't we do it now?
Because in the spirit, that's what we, sometimes we have to do in order to kind
of like figure things out and be able to move forward, um, and be able to leave
behind the childish things and be able to move on into adulthood, but it feels
risky because we're like on my word, I'm risking, I'm missing relationship.
Risking relationships with, with other people, et cetera.
But the other, you know, like what I was saying, it's, um, that's coming from
this belief that we're naturally bad and that we're naturally going to make the
wrong decision and that we're naturally going to be soulless and we're naturally
going to be selfish and we're naturally going to do it wrong.
And that's approaching it from this expectation that we are going to mess up
as opposed to approaching situations in.
You know,
you don't have time to prepare for it.
So how are you going to act?
What are you, what are you going to do?
How are you going to respond?
And the more that you choose that you are,
who God says that you are and just do your best to operate from that
place.
Then the Lord knows what it is that you're trying to do.
And then he, he helps you take, he helps.
Take care of the situation.
And then a lot of it is you just,
is you really are bringing life into the situation more than you used to
because you're not bringing in rules and soul and.
Rules that we're supposed to follow, et cetera. You're bringing.
You're bringing life. You're bringing genuineness.
You're bringing sincerity. You're really, truly bringing who it is that
you are.
And then the more that you choose that you are,
who God says that you are and just do your best to operate from that
place.
Then the Lord knows what it is that you're trying to do.
And then he, he helps you take, he helps.
Take care of the situation.
And, and then a lot of it is you just,
You know,
you're bringing life into the situation more than you used to because
you're not bringing in rules and soul and soul and soul and soul,
but you're really, truly bringing who it is that you are.
And you're still in process of trying to figure out who that is.
But you can't know who that is if you keep hiding it.
Not even allowing yourself to see it.
Alone, bring it to other people. So.
Anyway, I'm fully aware that it's.
That risky. I'm fully aware that it's that hard.
And I'm just telling you,
I did it and I keep having to do it at different times with different
people.
And sometimes I don't do it and then, but you know,
you just keep picking yourself up and trying again.
So anyway, I just want to let you know that these things, you know,
I don't mean any of them to sound like, Oh, you're just easy.
No, they have to do with people's relate with our relationships with
people.
They have to do with stuff that's a very emotionally deep within us.
And that being as it is.
I just made the decision that I did.
And I gained all of the freedom.
Because, you know, and I just, and I just, I don't know.
I'm grew in the Lord as a result.
And cause I chose him over my relationships.
And then over time, you know,
God has worked on my relationships as well and they've gained more
respect for me.
And I'm able to handle them.
Those people better, especially more toxic relationships.
Because I now own myself between me and the Lord.
Yeah.
But anyway, so.
That's super helpful.
That gives me a lot of like hope and then also things I can start
implementing.
That's going to kind of build that muscle.
So, cause I, that's what I was feeling.
Like there's something about this.
There's like this strengthening that needs to take place.
And I wasn't quite sure how to like, how to do that. So that was great.
That's exactly what I needed.
Yeah.
Yeah. So I'm glad. And I know.
I'm sorry, you'll be going into a situation where you feel like,
Oh my word.
It's like,
Do I have to learn this like in the fire?
Could we.
Learned it before.
And so you just kind of do what it is that you can,
because like you're saying it's a muscle that needs to be
strengthened. So don't expect everything of yourself.
Meaning like don't require it all of yourself.
Right.
Sometimes it is just easier to just go with the flow.
Like you used to have and just do that then.
And then other times you'll be like, I know, no, you know,
today or in this particular situation.
I can do it a bit different. So strengthen the muscle by don't,
don't tear the muscle by.
Don't lift a hundred pound weight. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Because the whole point is you're not trying to hurt anybody.
You're not trying to be difficult.
You're trying to connect with who it is that you are.
Because you're choosing God over your lifestyle.
You're choosing God over your relationships.
We can say that all that we want to, but when it comes down to brass
tacks, it means that we actually have to do it.
We have to live life differently than we're living it.
Right.
So.
That that's going to require different.
Results of our actions and different responses as well.
But anyway, so that's good. I mean, desire is huge.
A huge part of this, because I think that's the thing.
It's like, I don't even know what I want.
Yeah.
That's where you feel so.
Fuzzy.
Cause it's like, so I think as you were talking,
One of the things that felt clear to me was this isn't me sitting down
and like journaling. What do I want?
I think it's actually being in a situation where like the rubber meets
the road.
And like it coming to it coming.
It'd be like, hello, this is what you.
You know?
Correct.
I also thought of some other situations, like say for instance,
if y'all are with.
I don't know if you're like this, but with me, whenever there's,
I'm with a whole bunch of people, like, especially as a family or
whatever, I feel like I always have to be with them.
Yeah. So I make a decision to choose. No,
I'm going to go take a walk.
Yeah.
And I want to take it right now.
Because I want to.
Right.
And I'm not going to use the baby as an excuse.
Because that's going to give me something to do.
I'm not going to use the baby as an excuse.
I'm going to go take a walk.
And I want to take it right now.
Because I want to.
Right.
And I'm not going to use the baby as an excuse.
I'm going to go take a walk.
And I'm not going to use the baby as an excuse.
Because that's going to give me something to disassociate from my.
Exactly.
From myself.
I'm going to do it because I want you to somebody asked me,
well, I'll give them, that is the reason.
Or, and I'll just go do it on my own.
Whatever.
It's things like that. You're not trying to be difficult.
I'm going to go take a walk.
times. Yeah. We don't get to have everything that we want, but you and I are old enough to know that
right. We don't have that problem. We have the opposite problem. Exactly.
I'm sorry. The guardrails are already in place.
So this is just kind of, so this is, you know, talking to somebody who's just kind of like,
okay, just pick something sometime that you know, would be powerful for you and just do the thing,
you know, and this do it. And the reason that you're doing it is you're doing it because you
want to not because it's practical. So in other words, sometimes what I would do is I was
intentionally picking things that I wanted to do that. I felt that I shouldn't like eating,
I don't know, extra peanut butter eating second piece of cake or whatever is weird as that sounds.
And I had to always associate it with wanting something and doing it because I had made a
decision that I wanted it and that I was going to honor and give myself what I wanted. I had
to intentionally kind of like make that the moment as opposed to, oh, I just want it. And I'm just
gonna let myself have it. Well, no, that's very unhealthy. That's not connecting with oneself.
In fact, again, that's another, that's another method of disassociating with oneself is you have
to own your decision. Like, no, I'm not going to just like give in because I just can't help
myself. And I just, you know, I've got just no discipline that that's, that's a disassociation
of oneself has to own the decision. No, this is what I want to do. And I'm making an intentional
decision that I am going to have the other piece of cake. Why? Because I could say no,
and I'm intentionally choosing. No, I want it. And I want to give myself something that I want.
I want to follow through on it and thoroughly enjoy the experience of owning life of, of doing
something. Oh, I didn't know progressive or, um, substantial and making a choice and moving,
making a very, a very, um, there's a word that I think feels like it keeps eluding me,
but a very weighty decision that will move things forward and meaning like.
My sense of will or whatever, you know, so I'm going to do the cake, or I'm going to
give myself a bit of reprieve from all of the people. And I'm going to go for a walk,
or I'm going to go take a nap that can really feel like a, like you're, uh, uh, I didn't know about
for you, but for me, that can really feel, um, uh, I can really feel guilt-ridden about that
is while everybody's talking, you know, for me to go up and, or just decide, I'm going to go
take a nap for an hour or two, just because, you know, and not give any reason like, oh,
I didn't sleep very good last night or whatever, anything that would like placate or make everybody
feel better about it. But just kind of like, you know, I, I feel like going to take a nap right
now. So I will sleep well later and I'll be back in two hours or whatever. So those are just like
powerful ways to kind of like own yourself and come into it. And like I said, come into agreement
that with the Lord, that, that you are, you're, you are being with a will that needs to learn
how to exert it. And so what you're doing is you're learning how to connect with it. You're
learning what it is you want, how to connect with it, and then how to, um, and then how to act on
it, how to be powerful enough in making a decision that you actually act on something. Um, and because
God's going to need that, it's going to need that in other areas. And so you're trying to,
you're learning how to do it in the palatable areas. That's really good. That's really,
I'm just, you got my, you got my wheels turning. So that's awesome. Like, that's what I needed. I
felt, I felt, I was just like, there was like this, I was kind of like stuck like, okay, I,
I know what I need to do. I don't know how to do it. Yeah. Yeah. And the Lord's working with
me on that to help people, um, to, to help give help, um, explain things from like, with like
practical examples of like, okay, this is what it looks like, because I have a tendency to be
able to see things in theory, but then struggle sometimes to show people, oh, this is what it
looks like practically. So a lot of times what the Lord will do is just have me use
personal examples of like, well, actually, how did you do that? I'm like, well, this is what I did.
So I just kind of had to try, I just like, well, I don't know, maybe this will work. And so I would
try it for myself and it would work anyway. So that's really awesome. Well, I'm, I mean, I'm,
I'm excited to report back. Yes, me too. I mean, me too. I'm excited to hear. So I hope it goes
good. And I'll be, I know, I know you'll be with family too. I'll be covering you in prayer and
thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. I am, am excited and expectant. It'd be the first time.
you know, since the, since the wedding. And so, um, it'll be, it'll be exciting because
then we will have had like another, another connection after that. Um, so that the wedding
won't be the last one. Y'all will have another one, you know, to be like another record,
like another, it's really good, you know, another whatever. So it'll be, it'll be really good.
So, yeah. Yeah. So anyway, so are we, do we have in one more meeting tomorrow? Is that what
Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Thursday night. Yeah. Okay. It's our last one. Perfect. Well,
I say it's our last one, but then it looks like we might just do, by the way, let me ask,
is it easier to just do, uh, I've been asking some people, is it easier to just do Thursday,
Sunday night, instead of changing it to Monday night, just simply because I don't know, it is
so, I don't know. Is it just, it's what everybody's had in their mind for six weeks. And so they've
already kind of like baked it into their schedule. You know, I just thought maybe
people would prefer a weekend night to not have anything on weekend nights. And so it'd be easier
to do it on like a Monday, but, um, I'm hearing for at least from some people that they would
prefer Sundays. Yeah. I don't even have a preference. Like it doesn't bother me to keep
it on a Sunday. Yeah. Okay. So it doesn't feel like a weekend night, you know? And I have like,
yeah. I mean, for me, like in my season of life right now, like there's not a huge differentiation
of weekdays and weekends. So that's why for me, for just a personal thing, I don't really
have a, like a strong opinion about it. Okay. Yeah. Me, me as well. Um, I'm just, I'm used to
historically thinking of like always preserving Saturdays and Sundays course the past few years,
though, like you, my week and weekends have been very, very fluid, but, um, uh, but anyway, I just,
because I was doing it Saturdays and, um, I mean, sorry, Sundays that I thought, well, maybe just
keeping it the same would just be easier. So I just wanted to check and make sure with everyone.
So I'm thinking maybe keeping it Sunday night strictly for the fact that that's what we've been
doing. And so if people don't have to remember, um, and change, they just keep, they just take
out Tuesdays, but they've got the other two that just stayed the same. Um, and then one of the
things that I would like to know that going forward is, well, if I do this going forward,
should I not do it on Sunday nights anymore? And will Monday nights be easier for most people?
That's what I just, so I was wondering if I should test it this time, but I find with Sundays,
so you need to, but anyway, that sounds like everybody else maybe is okay with Sunday.
Yeah. If everyone's good with it, I mean, okay. Makes sense to maybe keep it, but I, if you want
to try something new, it's also a safe group to try it. So really it's just, what do you want,
Ashley? I know. And I've thought about that and, and I thought, well, I really want to do it on
Mondays on Monday nights, but the feedback that I'm getting from people, not to mention the fact
that I thought I would, I'm somebody who loves consistency. Um, and I just thought, well, if we
just keep it on Sundays, it's, it's something that everybody's already, um, already in the
habit of for six weeks. So I thought maybe it would just be easiest for people to just keep,
um, habit. Um, um, I would do, I would do what you want because you're leading it.
So it's always what works, works the best for you. Yeah. Like same, same conversation with timing
and stuff too. It's like, do what works well for you. Yeah. And I think people will, I mean,
unless you've got like a majority of people who are like, I just can't make it on Mondays. Yeah.
Yeah. Correct. Yeah. So the reason I've avoided Mondays in the past is because it's the first
day back to school and a lot of, for a lot of people who have children, it's a really crazy
day because they're, they're out of, out of practice and schedule for, for two days.
And then all of a sudden they get back to Monday and they, they at least.
Parents have told me before, not parents in my group, but just like friends with one or whatever,
just, I've just historically noticed that everyone's trying to get back into the flow
on Mondays again. And all my money's at homework again, and they haven't had it for two days. And
so, um, anyway, so I don't have that reference point. I thought maybe Mondays would be challenging
for people, but, um, but I also didn't want to take away Sunday nights from people when I was
growing up Sunday nights for family nights. So, and then they eventually switched to Friday nights,
but, um, we always held our Fridays, Friday nights, Saturdays, and Sundays is very sacred.
And so I'm just in that habit. And, um, but otherwise, you know, my season of life right
now, Sunday nights are just fine, but, um, I just, I think partly I'm wanting to also
find, um, find little things that work so I can finally just keep it.
stop having to make decisions.
So I thought, well, if I, you know,
am I going to have to make a decision about Monday later?
I'd rather just make it now.
Let me just make it.
Oh yeah, I wouldn't worry about that.
I feel like with these things,
they're like timing, dates, like that's ever changing.
Okay, okay, well that's helpful.
With each program,
cause your seasons of life will change.
Yeah, this is true.
Yeah, and so I wouldn't,
you're not locked into anything.
Like we've done Kingdom Messengers so many different ways,
timing wise, date wise, that I wouldn't even,
I wouldn't worry about that.
Okay, that's helpful.
Yeah.
Okay, well good.
Well, it was good to get to visit with you tonight.
Is there anything that I,
oh yeah, and sometime you owe me a Marco Polo
to tell me about like where, what you said that the-
Oh yeah, the preferred word.
Yeah, I think that you said that you were ready.
Now, if you're not ready, that's fine.
I am ready, yeah.
Yeah, it's, I mean, in summary,
it has to do with Tribe because we were about to like-
Really?
Well, the way we've built Tribe
has been like slow and steady.
We don't want to take on investors.
We just kind of have built as we could
and utilize clients, like as clients come in,
be able to like fund new features and things like that,
which is a very different way of funding
any type of software project.
Typically tech startups are like,
just raise a bunch of capital
and then kind of, you know,
blow the money and build this.
Yes, exactly, yeah.
But we, you know,
and Bruce has been a part of teams like that in the past.
It's not, there's nothing wrong with that,
but it's, he's like, I just feel like there's a better way.
And so, especially when you don't,
you're not interested in taking on investors,
which we weren't.
And so, because that just is its own admin thing situation.
And we felt like the Lord had given us some words
about like being intentional about like,
building our thing and not necessarily
building somebody else's thing,
which can easily happen when you take on investors
because you start a new application and things like that.
And so when, around that time that I was giving that word,
Bruce and I had had a conversation about, you know,
cause we just weren't taking on any,
there weren't more clients coming in.
So we could easily service the clients we have,
but as far as like building it and marketing it
and going big,
like it just didn't seem like it was financially appropriate
for us at the time.
We had already kind of stretched ourselves then
when it came to investing our own dollars
and getting things built.
And so we just had this conversation of like,
we're gonna like take a step back from tribe
and just put all of our efforts into Kingdom Messengers
cause that's actually at least generating revenue.
And like a day later,
and I don't remember the whole timeline,
but kind of a day later, I was like,
I remember just standing at my bathroom sink
and the Lord was like,
Kingdom Messengers is not a billion dollar idea.
And I was like, yeah, I know that.
I'm not trying to make it a billion dollar idea, Lord,
like duh.
And he just said, again,
he didn't even like respond to what I said.
He just said,
Kingdom Messengers is not a billion dollar idea.
And I just took a second and he was like,
but tribe is.
And, you know,
Bruce has had prophetic words over his life,
like since he was young about generating wealth
for kingdom initiatives and like having personal wealth
and all that stuff.
And I've attached myself to that, you know,
as someone with him
and definitely like take it on for myself.
It's definitely been a barrier for me,
just even some things we mentioned on earlier call,
but just to own that identity of like, Lord, okay,
we're gonna do something
that's like a billion dollar something.
And I think the Lord wanted my yes in that.
And so I told Bruce the next day,
like I didn't even tell him that night,
cause I was like,
I just need to like sit with that for a second.
I said, you know, I had this conversation with the Lord,
I told him what it was.
And I was like, I don't know what that looks like.
I know we've made this conversation.
I know we've made this decision about tribe.
I mean, he had already,
he had had a meeting with our developers
just to let them know,
cause everyone's a contractor.
So it's not like salaries were cut,
but he wanted to give them a trajectory of like,
this is what to expect over the next couple of months
so that they weren't blindsided.
Like he had that conversation, very well organized.
And anyway, longer story made a little bit short.
Pedro had reached out to him.
Now this is kind of like almost comical
because we've been talking to Pedro for like two years
about like just conversations kind of off and on
about software, like things that he would, you know,
cause he's been stuck with like, you know,
all the things that people deal with,
like Facebook shuts down things or like things change.
And so he reached out to Bruce and like,
do you know anything?
So he had given him some initial things
like you could try Mighty Networks or, you know,
just kind of, you know, what could you,
so this has been a conversation we're having two years
and it kind of always came down to this like moment of like,
hey, we should maybe do something.
Like we should utilize you, but it never,
and Pedro's just, he's not a tech guy.
I, so it's a big thing to kind of cross.
So even up till, I think it was December of last year.
Like, I mean, Bruce probably spent a month with having all these like
conversations with this team, like kind of consulting, but also they wanted to
see could tribe work for what they're doing, like, and so just multiple hours,
like basically free consulting of like all kinds of different things.
And it kind of got to the final decision with Pedro and they're just
like, weren't ready to pull the trigger.
So there was even a bit of frustration with that of like, okay, I just feel
like this has taken too much of us, like not upset with Pedro or anything, but
just like, you know, kind of get, you've been there, you're building a business
and you're like, you just need the one signature or you just, that's right.
That's right.
Yeah.
And so, um, anyway, it was just fascinating that like, it was kind of
like, okay, here we go again with Pedro, but like, it just felt a little bit.
Like different.
And then cause Pedro's a busy guy.
So he's even hard to, you know, get on a five minute call sometimes.
And he's, he spent an entire, like, I mean, this was probably, I'm again,
I'd probably get the timeline wrong, but like maybe a week or two from like Ed's
thing of like telling us like, you're gonna, there's going to be things that
you're going to get kind of a new way of leading something that's kind of like
what I walked away with and there was more to it, but kind of a new way of
leading and, um, so Pedro spent and Bruce spent like a weekend, like often
on like long phone calls of like, basically Pedro was like, um, you know,
would you consider like doing a partnership?
Cause he was like, as a, as a business person, like I want to invest in, I
want to eventually like invest in a SAS product, like that'd be a part of my
portfolio.
I don't know how much of this is confidential, but I'm just sure.
No, it's not going to go anywhere.
Don't worry.
And so, um, I mean, I don't think it's like something he wouldn't talk about
on stage, but just that they had, that they had these specific conversations
and, um, he, so they were even talking about like, what does it look like to,
it wouldn't be an investor partnership, but it'd be a part, it would be an
actual partnership because Pedro would take on all of the marketing side, which
is like not the stuff that we really wanted and even all the marketing, like
dollars of like ads and everything.
And then Bruce would obviously be like the tech side.
So it didn't come down to that clear cut of a partnership, but it came down to, I
think what was really cool was the way it happened was super honoring because they
were very honest with each other.
Like no, like anything held back, but they were able to like work out a lot of
kinks, like for each other, like Pedro was stuck in certain areas and like we were
stuck in certain areas and there was like able to be like this.
Yeah.
And so, um, but it came down to us building his like hundred X app, which
they've launched in the fall and they're building it.
And so it's, it's been a really good movement forward, but it basically, we
picked up tribe again, all that to say, I gave you a lot of detail, but we've
picked up tribe again, like, I mean, this was, it was kind of, I mean, it was
like, not even like a month apart, like weeks and days apart of us making a
decision, having the conversation with our developers and then the Lord just
quickly turning that around.
And I think for me, what was helpful about having Ed's word was it made
the uptake for me a lot quicker.
Okay.
From my conversations that I was having with the Lord to like, actually
like, not take notice, but like take action on them.
Yeah.
This isn't just like a fleeting thought.
And it's not something that we need to like, wait on like what I was like, Bruce,
I think like we might've made a wrong decision and you know, I think there's
something that made us, it made us available for even those conversations.
Cause before I think we would have been like, okay, like we've had this
conversation with Pedro before, like he just needs like whatever, but like it
made us take some things more seriously.
Yes.
Like, Hey, let's like, let's like make sure that we, we like give her,
gives our time to this and stuff.
So yeah.
Oh, that's great.
We're, we continue to pick that up and there's been some real movement and,
you know, obviously Pedro, because he's invested in building the app for a
hundred X there's even been, there's like, it's kind of hard to explain
cause it's kind of years in the making, but some of the things that we were
talking about doing Bruce and I like building Pedro is building for his
community, but it's, it's like a perfect situation for us because it's actually
a better situation than what it would have been if we had just done it on
our own, if that makes sense.
Like what on your end?
Like the way the marketing, well, not just marketing, but this, the week
it kind of had this, we have this idea of tribe, not just being like enterprise
level, like building it for like larger organizations, but we were going to
build kind of our own network.
Um, cause we had this desire to bring like.
Kingdom content partners on a platform where they could come and like own their
data, all the stuff that we kind of shared with Kingdom Messenger.
Kingdom Messenger was kind of our, is, you know, we've given it to
them as kind of like a beta.
I mean, they're using it, but it wasn't, you know, thinking about thousands of
people, like on a network where it was like Kingdom focused, not like watered down.
Long story short, Pedro wants to build that for people who are obviously
Kingdom entrepreneurs who are people who are like coaches and businesses that
want to have their own, but they would build it off of his, like, what's going
to, what he's calling wisdomly, like his platform.
So people who are wanting to run challenge, but like they don't want to do
on Facebook, they can do it through his licensing.
So it's kind of what we wanted to build, but he, but it's actually like
there's, he has the volume.
Oh yeah, exactly.
He's in front of a hundred thousand people already.
So like, what would have taken us maybe years to market and build he's doing it.
Quickly.
So, yeah.
Now y'all would still get to own it though.
Right.
I mean, this partnership wouldn't be, he hasn't bought the source code.
Like he, he, because it doesn't really benefit him right now.
Like basically he, because the way it works is kind of like, um, a client will
buy, like there are, we all have some clients that have their own source code,
their own thing, like their enterprise level.
Absolutely.
They have their copy, have to kind of pay if they want things changed or updated.
Um, but the way that Pedro is building with us is he has like purchased his app.
So he's funding features that we get to keep right now.
That's because, um, of the, because of the, he's gets discounted
pricing basically to do that.
He could have any point by source code, but then he would have to go like
find his own developers and he doesn't want to do that.
Yeah.
He wants to work with us.
So yeah.
Yeah.
So it benefits us both.
Yeah.
Which is great.
Yeah.
Speaking of all of that, Bruce had told me, I had asked him, I don't remember how
long ago on the, on the tribe demo months ago, I'd asked him, I said, you know,
I've been wanting to get all of my group off of Facebook, but I said, I don't have
a, but I said, it has a lot of stuff in it that I want to keep, I want to keep
people's testimonies and their posts.
I said, it's just very powerful.
I mean, I've already saved.
It's taken a long time and it's taken a lot of work, but I've already saved all of
my content from Facebook that I put on Facebook on, um, not for my personal
profile, but I have for my group, everything that I've posted, like all of
the written stuff, all of the, um, like I literally scrolled two and a half years
back and went through and saved everything.
I finally finished it the other day.
But, and so now it's just keeping it up.
But what I haven't done is everybody else's posts.
And some of those are extremely important ever because it's the, it's
the documentation of their journeys.
It's people expressing in their own words, what happens as you shift while
you're in the middle of it, you know, so it's amazing.
And so, and people love listening to each other's testimonies and stuff.
And so sometimes even my comments on there are many teachings and that's
something I haven't gone back there and done because sometimes in my comments,
I'll word things in a particular way.
I'm thinking that is a really good, concise way to explain that.
I need to say that, but I don't anyway.
So the thing is that I told Bruce all this months ago, I said, I want to
literally take copy the entire group and move it somewhere I said, but
I've never heard of that I've, I've Googled it, I've Googled being able to
scrape and no other place, no place that I've heard of actually scrapes it.
It'll scrape the data, but it won't literally take everything that I need
and be able to import it somewhere else.
And he said, well, he said, we actually developed it for Pedro.
I was like, no, are you serious?
He said, yes.
And I said, and I said, well, and I don't remember how it, where did it, but as
it like, was it, did you own it or did he own it?
And he said, well, they paid for it.
He said, so you could contact them.
And so he gave me the information.
And so I told Pete, I told Bruce the other day on it, on a tech call.
I said, I've never had the courage and asked them for something that they paid
for, I was like, I just, I just can't do it.
Um, and you said, well, actually they now have a link up that
allows you to do it yourself.
They they're making it available.
I was like, are you serious?
And he said, yeah.
And he said, in fact, they're starting next month.
And I don't remember if that's this month or December, it's probably November,
but whatever it was, he said next month, they are starting, they are opening up
the link though, for like 35, $30 a month.
And I thought, well, that's doable.
He said, I said, because I really would like to pay them for that.
He said, cause if you do the link now, before they charge for it, he said, then
you don't have to be charged for it.
I said, well, I really want to honor the fact that they've already bought it.
And even though, yeah, the link is open, I'd like to pay him for it.
And he said, well, you could.
do it now and then pay them for it when they start charging.
It's like, well, that's true.
But I still need to get the link from him.
And so I need to, what is the help desk hotline?
I mean, y'all's help desk?
Yeah, it's help at kmwsupport.com.
OK, kmwsupport.com.
Like, Kena Messenger Workshop is what kmwsupport.com.
OK.
OK, kmwsupport.com.
All right, so I'm going to have to message him on that
and ask him, hey, can you send me that link?
And then I need to ask him how I can import it, though,
and to try, because getting it all is one thing.
How do you import it?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You know, so, yeah, I don't even know.
What did Pedro do with it?
When he exported his, what did he do with it?
I think he's just keeping it right now.
He just wanted the backup.
I mean, I'm sure he'll do something with it.
But he's probably scraping things
from marketing material, like comments and testimonies.
But that's probably how he's utilizing it the most.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
He has archived groups on Facebook.
But I mean, that could change.
Maybe he's going to, maybe he'll import stuff in
as he builds out his app more.
But that's what he's keeping it for right now.
And that's something I'd have to ask Bruce about,
is because that importing requires mapping,
like literally individually mapping
the fields between, OK, this is the Facebook export,
and what is tribes' comparative field.
And then it has to be mapped and then imported.
And so I don't know if Bruce has built that out,
an import capability to build out to a group.
Anyway, so like upload all of the videos,
upload the posts, show who liked it,
especially if I went in and say,
I'd be like, hey, I'll start all those accounts.
And then you'll have accounts to associate people with.
And then all of the comments can be associated
with those people and whatever.
So I'd have to talk to him about it, see if it's possible.
But it's just like this treasure trove there
of like stuff people experienced in like,
I don't know, it's very, is very deep and very important.
So anyway, I wanted to see if it was possible,
because if he doesn't,
I'm literally had started going through,
I did this about a year ago,
started going through and getting screenshots of stuff
just to at least have that.
We need to have it.
Yeah, so, but anyway, I don't, I haven't finished it,
but I need to ask him though about that whole link thing
and then see if there's a way to import.
Yeah, I actually don't know about that,
if there's an import feature yet, but.
Yeah, I don't think there's a feature,
but I was wondering if he had something on the backend,
if I sent it to him, if he could do it,
but he still has to have developed some way
to map to all those fields.
And then it would require some work on my part
to actually have accounts for all of those people
who made X comment for those comments to be associated to.
I have to have had their corresponding accounts in there.
So anyway, so that's all,
this is stuff that I used to do with them as a consultant
is to work on like switching people
from one software to another
and having to do all of that exporting and importing
and field mapping and all of that.
So anyway, it can be a lot of work.
So I'll just have to ask about what the capabilities are
and there just may not be any capabilities right now.
So anyway, but was there anything else
that you wanted to go over?
Oh, that was super helpful.
I feel like a lot of clarity.
Good, and I realized I didn't comment.
I am so excited that y'all can continue to develop Drive.
I think it's, I have told Morningstar about it.
I told the School of the Prophets about it
and they're looking at it.
And I've shown them some stuff
and I've given them like the demo thing
for them to look at.
And so they're looking at,
and they talk to me about it periodically.
And so they're thinking about
possibly reaching out to y'all at some point.
They just have so many things they're in the middle of,
but point is it's definitely on their radar.
Whatever their choice is gonna be, I don't know.
All I know is that they're all still talking about it.
And so anyway, but I'm excited that y'all are building it
now because it's so valuable that it just, I don't know,
it just, I think that it just, I've been,
I've just thought that it was just important
to keep up and keep going and to give people more,
for more people to discover and to be aware of.
So I'm excited for that.
Yeah, yeah.
So good.
Yeah, so.
All right.
Well, I know I'll see you tomorrow,
but I hope that you have a good week, this coming week.
Yeah, you too.
Maybe I'll live text you while it's happening.
Yeah, absolutely.
And you'll be in Hilton Head, won't you?
Yes.
That's not that far from.
I don't remember how far it is. I've never been, but everyone always talks about Hilton Head and like it's like this resort area and it's amazing.
It's really pretty. If you're a beach person, it's a great little place to, I feel like it's not super over commercialized like some beaches, but they've kind of kept the integrity of like the look and feel. And so, yeah, we enjoy it.
That's nice. Yeah, the joiners have a place there. Rick and Julie Joiner have a place. And I'm always seeing, you know, people from Morningstar are always going and like renting hotel rooms and whatever at Hilton Head to be able to get away. And I've never been. I need to ask Ed to take me.
Another place that Bruce and I personally love, which is not too far away from Hilton Head, is Kiowa Island.
It's so much more remote.
Oh, okay.
It's much more quiet. And Bruce and I went, so like the year that I like lost my job and everything like fell apart, we actually took a week before Thanksgiving and went just the two of us. Like I completely like disconnected, but it was beautiful.
And so around, I mean, it might be busy, crazy during summer, but during the fall, still mild weather, like for like walks and stuff on the beach, but it was so quiet.
So I really like if you're looking like Hilton Head's a little bit more, there's like more things to do, more activities. But if you're looking for like just a really relaxing like beach place, Kiowa Island is really pretty.
Okay, good to know. All right. Thank you. Check it out.
Yeah. All right. Well, keep me updated.
I will talk soon.
Bye.