WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.000
Hello.

2
00:00:04.000 --> 00:00:08.000
Hello.

3
00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:10.000
Hear me.

4
00:00:10.000 --> 00:00:19.000
On.

5
00:00:19.000 --> 00:00:33.000
How are you?

6
00:00:33.000 --> 00:00:37.000
I'm good. I apologize. I had another call. It was a personal call.

7
00:00:37.000 --> 00:00:38.000
And, but it was with it.

8
00:00:38.000 --> 00:00:40.000
I was catching up with a friend of mine and I said, well,

9
00:00:40.000 --> 00:00:41.000
I have until one.

10
00:00:41.000 --> 00:00:43.000
And, but then.

11
00:00:43.000 --> 00:00:45.000
I was having a hard time, like getting off.

12
00:00:45.000 --> 00:00:46.000
And then he wanted to pray.

13
00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:47.000
So anyway,

14
00:00:47.000 --> 00:00:49.000
I was like, okay, I'm going to pray.

15
00:00:49.000 --> 00:00:53.000
I'm going to pray.

16
00:00:53.000 --> 00:00:55.000
I probably don't look. Okay. Because I'm just,

17
00:00:55.000 --> 00:00:57.000
I'm just like bundled up.

18
00:00:57.000 --> 00:00:58.000
In the dark.

19
00:00:58.000 --> 00:01:01.000
Like I'm not usually like this. I'm I'm very like.

20
00:01:01.000 --> 00:01:05.000
Opposite. Like, I like to be like you in the light.

21
00:01:05.000 --> 00:01:09.000
With makeup on, like when I'm on calls and things, but.

22
00:01:09.000 --> 00:01:12.000
Lately it's like a, a new found, I don't care.

23
00:01:12.000 --> 00:01:13.000
Like.

24
00:01:13.000 --> 00:01:15.000
It's a good thing because I'm just like, okay.

25
00:01:15.000 --> 00:01:19.000
You know, I, I love, you know, our art and creative expression.

26
00:01:19.000 --> 00:01:20.000
And I.

27
00:01:20.000 --> 00:01:27.000
A lot about aesthetics and stuff.

28
00:01:27.000 --> 00:01:28.000
So I'm like, okay, I'm just like,

29
00:01:28.000 --> 00:01:31.000
I'm in the dark because the living room has poor lighting.

30
00:01:31.000 --> 00:01:33.000
Like we have a really cute house and.

31
00:01:33.000 --> 00:01:42.000
It's pretty new and I'm very thankful for it.

32
00:01:42.000 --> 00:01:43.000
And there's a lot of lighting,

33
00:01:43.000 --> 00:01:45.000
but I don't really need a lamp. Can I get a lamp?

34
00:01:45.000 --> 00:01:49.000
That's right.

35
00:01:49.000 --> 00:01:52.000
Oh,

36
00:01:52.000 --> 00:01:55.000
You just looked like you had all the cozy thing.

37
00:01:55.000 --> 00:01:59.000
By going out.

38
00:01:59.000 --> 00:02:01.000
And then you were in the dark and I was like, are you okay?

39
00:02:01.000 --> 00:02:02.000
Yeah.

40
00:02:02.000 --> 00:02:06.000
That is a perfect question. Yeah.

41
00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:11.000
And I have my matching sweatshirt and sweat pants on.

42
00:02:12.000 --> 00:02:13.000
And I'm like,

43
00:02:13.000 --> 00:02:15.000
I don't know if I'm going to be able to do this.

44
00:02:15.000 --> 00:02:19.000
It is very different for me and Mike had in a good way, but also a,

45
00:02:19.000 --> 00:02:22.000
like I'm letting go of how this looks because I can't stand the way it

46
00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:23.000
looks.

47
00:02:23.000 --> 00:02:24.000
If that makes sense, you're fine.

48
00:02:24.000 --> 00:02:25.000
You're just fine.

49
00:02:25.000 --> 00:02:27.000
But it's like, I'm.

50
00:02:27.000 --> 00:02:28.000
You usually are.

51
00:02:28.000 --> 00:02:32.000
Yeah, exactly.

52
00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:39.000
So, yeah, I've got my notebook and I just thought I would come.

53
00:02:39.000 --> 00:02:40.000
Yeah.

54
00:02:40.000 --> 00:02:41.000
I was like,

55
00:02:41.000 --> 00:02:43.000
I don't know if I'm going to be able to do this.

56
00:02:43.000 --> 00:02:49.000
I was like all the extra things and like trying to catch up on.

57
00:02:49.000 --> 00:02:51.000
Catch up on rest and not being there yet.

58
00:02:51.000 --> 00:02:53.000
So Nick said he felt the same way and he doesn't deal with chronic

59
00:02:53.000 --> 00:02:55.000
fatigue. So I'm like, okay, well, it's not just me.

60
00:02:55.000 --> 00:02:56.000
But.

61
00:02:56.000 --> 00:03:00.000
Yeah, exactly.

62
00:03:00.000 --> 00:03:03.000
And by the way, meant to tell you that I saw that you have two

63
00:03:03.000 --> 00:03:04.000
sessions this week.

64
00:03:05.000 --> 00:03:06.000
You have two sessions this week.

65
00:03:06.000 --> 00:03:08.000
You have two transformation sessions.

66
00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:16.000
You do not have to do them both this week.

67
00:03:16.000 --> 00:03:19.000
If you want, you can keep that other one and just contact me,

68
00:03:19.000 --> 00:03:21.000
you know, when you're, when you need it, you know, or whatever,

69
00:03:21.000 --> 00:03:22.000
you're welcome to do that.

70
00:03:22.000 --> 00:03:26.000
I forgot that you have to.

71
00:03:26.000 --> 00:03:28.000
And that when I opened up this week for, Hey, everyone,

72
00:03:28.000 --> 00:03:31.000
let's connect for a transformation sessions by almost like extending

73
00:03:31.000 --> 00:03:32.000
the program by a week.

74
00:03:32.000 --> 00:03:33.000
So you don't have to do that.

75
00:03:33.000 --> 00:03:34.000
You don't have to do that.

76
00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:35.000
You don't have to do that.

77
00:03:35.000 --> 00:03:36.000
You don't have to do that.

78
00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:37.000
You don't have to do that.

79
00:03:37.000 --> 00:03:38.000
And then you have two,

80
00:03:38.000 --> 00:03:41.000
I did not intend for you to have to try to fit two in in one week.

81
00:03:41.000 --> 00:03:43.000
You are more than welcome to keep that other one.

82
00:03:43.000 --> 00:03:47.000
And we can keep it.

83
00:03:47.000 --> 00:03:49.000
But my point is you can also just keep it until, I mean,

84
00:03:49.000 --> 00:03:55.000
you can keep it where it is on. I think it's Thursday or something.

85
00:03:55.000 --> 00:03:57.000
But you can also move it to, you know,

86
00:03:57.000 --> 00:03:59.000
you can just hold onto it for whenever you need it.

87
00:03:59.000 --> 00:04:01.000
So you don't have to try to fit it in. So whatever you want to do.

88
00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:05.000
I appreciate it. And you're very thoughtful and considerate, but no,

89
00:04:05.000 --> 00:04:08.000
no, this is, I want you to use that when you need it.

90
00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:12.000
So whatever you want to do, if you need to cancel it, go ahead.

91
00:04:12.000 --> 00:04:14.000
Otherwise you can keep it and we'll can meet then.

92
00:04:14.000 --> 00:04:15.000
So whatever you want to do.

93
00:04:15.000 --> 00:04:19.000
Perfect. Okay. Yeah. I feel.

94
00:04:19.000 --> 00:04:21.000
Like it's like, it's a great thing to have the option.

95
00:04:21.000 --> 00:04:23.000
Cause I don't really know. I don't know.

96
00:04:23.000 --> 00:04:24.000
Where we're going, you know,

97
00:04:24.000 --> 00:04:28.000
Today and I guess.

98
00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:30.000
We haven't met like one-on-one for a little bit. So I'm like, okay,

99
00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:34.000
well, let's just see how, I guess, see how it plays out. And yeah.

100
00:04:34.000 --> 00:04:36.000
I've been wanting to.

101
00:04:36.000 --> 00:04:38.000
And I'm like that, that person that's like, okay, can I,

102
00:04:38.000 --> 00:04:41.000
is it weird to do like around three of the rest intensive?

103
00:04:41.000 --> 00:04:43.000
Because I feel like.

104
00:04:43.000 --> 00:04:46.000
I'm getting closer to.

105
00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:51.000
Like each time is getting closer to the full, like actually fully.

106
00:04:51.000 --> 00:04:56.000
Engaging and shifting, but I don't feel like I've had that.

107
00:04:57.000 --> 00:04:59.000
I don't feel like I've had that.

108
00:04:59.000 --> 00:05:00.000
Yeah.

109
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:03.120
I've had like major, major breakthrough.

110
00:05:03.120 --> 00:05:06.960
And I know the timing has been what it was supposed to be, um, exactly

111
00:05:06.960 --> 00:05:08.040
what it was supposed to be.

112
00:05:08.280 --> 00:05:11.880
And yet I feel like there's more that I can't put, but you're looking for deeper.

113
00:05:12.800 --> 00:05:13.120
Yeah.

114
00:05:13.120 --> 00:05:16.440
So I've thought about like, okay, what if I, what, if I were to go through the

115
00:05:16.440 --> 00:05:19.560
next one, if you know what the dates are or when, you know, just let me know.

116
00:05:19.680 --> 00:05:24.280
Um, I do, they, um, they're all in that, um, they're, uh, all of the

117
00:05:24.280 --> 00:05:29.680
information is on a pay on the page in one of the links I sent y'all.

118
00:05:30.080 --> 00:05:36.080
Um, and, and you have to access it via the link because it's not, uh, it's,

119
00:05:36.120 --> 00:05:39.720
you're not able to navigate to it on the website, it's on the website,

120
00:05:39.760 --> 00:05:40.920
but you can't navigate to it.

121
00:05:40.920 --> 00:05:44.200
It's a special link I created just for y'all because y'all are the alumni.

122
00:05:44.880 --> 00:05:50.080
And so I'm giving y'all like half off unless y'all come in with a friend.

123
00:05:50.080 --> 00:05:54.120
And if you come in with a friend, well, then you get like the first part for free.

124
00:05:54.120 --> 00:05:56.920
You're welcome to attend for free, but if you want to transformation sessions,

125
00:05:56.920 --> 00:05:58.800
that is an additional amount and whatever.

126
00:05:58.960 --> 00:06:01.760
So you can just look at the three different options and see

127
00:06:01.760 --> 00:06:03.600
if any of them fit well for you.

128
00:06:03.880 --> 00:06:07.600
I already know of at least one person who contacted me today.

129
00:06:08.120 --> 00:06:09.640
Who's said that they're going to join.

130
00:06:10.120 --> 00:06:14.280
Um, and, but they have a friend, so they're waiting for their, to join with

131
00:06:14.280 --> 00:06:16.680
their friends and their, I've been in contact with their friends.

132
00:06:16.680 --> 00:06:21.720
So anyway, um, but no, it's a, I mean, multiple people have done

133
00:06:21.840 --> 00:06:23.400
rest intensive multiple times.

134
00:06:23.880 --> 00:06:29.760
Um, and, uh, of course I've only done three big rest intensives, but I've had

135
00:06:29.760 --> 00:06:36.040
people do like many rest intensives plus a big one and people just do it multiple

136
00:06:36.040 --> 00:06:36.400
times.

137
00:06:36.400 --> 00:06:43.640
So I find that as long as people want to, um, then it's extremely

138
00:06:43.640 --> 00:06:45.920
beneficial to just keep doing them.

139
00:06:45.920 --> 00:06:56.480
It's only if they're hitting a, a, a, uh, a wall where they're not, uh, and they

140
00:06:56.480 --> 00:07:00.000
feel like, uh, how, how would I word that?

141
00:07:00.920 --> 00:07:01.400
I don't know.

142
00:07:01.640 --> 00:07:02.720
It's, I don't know.

143
00:07:02.760 --> 00:07:07.280
Every person, every person is different, but, um, the, the point is that

144
00:07:07.280 --> 00:07:11.160
regardless of where someone is in their journey of rest, even if they're like,

145
00:07:11.160 --> 00:07:12.760
Oh yeah, you know, I understand it.

146
00:07:12.760 --> 00:07:14.040
I've shifted into it and whatever.

147
00:07:14.480 --> 00:07:16.600
Every single person can go deeper.

148
00:07:16.840 --> 00:07:21.560
If they just do it again, they just have to now view it, not as they used to.

149
00:07:21.560 --> 00:07:26.160
They now view it for however much they've owned and however much more

150
00:07:26.160 --> 00:07:27.760
they're now waiting to go into.

151
00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:34.440
They do the rest intensive at the deeper level, as opposed to viewing it like,

152
00:07:34.480 --> 00:07:35.720
Oh, I've never heard this before.

153
00:07:35.720 --> 00:07:39.000
Well, then that gets boring because you're like, no, I've already

154
00:07:39.000 --> 00:07:40.080
heard all of this before.

155
00:07:40.360 --> 00:07:42.320
But what you want to do is you now approach it from, okay.

156
00:07:42.320 --> 00:07:44.840
Knowing what, that I already know this information, I

157
00:07:44.840 --> 00:07:46.480
can't view it from my head.

158
00:07:46.800 --> 00:07:47.560
I have to.

159
00:07:48.200 --> 00:07:51.680
Uh, how, from what it is that I've owned in my relationship or what it

160
00:07:51.680 --> 00:07:56.560
is that I'm walking out already, what, where am I running into a wall again?

161
00:07:56.560 --> 00:07:58.320
Where am I running into their resistance?

162
00:07:58.640 --> 00:08:03.800
And then how do I use, um, how do I apply the teachings, you

163
00:08:03.800 --> 00:08:05.640
know, or the tools or whatever?

164
00:08:05.800 --> 00:08:09.960
The other, in other words, the principles of rest to, to go deeper.

165
00:08:10.360 --> 00:08:13.760
Like, because, and so I do the same thing.

166
00:08:15.000 --> 00:08:22.400
Um, uh, I always have to apply the same thing that I, that I learned and that I

167
00:08:22.400 --> 00:08:27.080
have applied hundreds of times, maybe thousands, and that I teach all of y'all.

168
00:08:27.440 --> 00:08:34.159
I apply the same things now that I did at the beginning, because, because, because

169
00:08:34.480 --> 00:08:38.520
it's just that I don't apply into the things that I've already shifted into

170
00:08:38.559 --> 00:08:42.320
rest in, I apply them to the things that I haven't been able to shift

171
00:08:42.320 --> 00:08:44.320
into rest in because I'm too afraid.

172
00:08:44.880 --> 00:08:45.720
It's too deep.

173
00:08:45.720 --> 00:08:46.840
It's too personal.

174
00:08:46.840 --> 00:08:50.440
If there's too much fear, there's too much history between me and the Lord there.

175
00:08:50.960 --> 00:08:57.280
Well, then I now need to apply those same simple principles at a deeper level, but

176
00:08:57.280 --> 00:09:00.880
I couldn't, but like, say for instance, if I was going through rest intensive

177
00:09:00.880 --> 00:09:05.240
program, I couldn't see this because I was still trying to deal with this.

178
00:09:05.560 --> 00:09:08.400
So the principles of rest and everything we were talking about and everything I

179
00:09:08.400 --> 00:09:11.440
was trying to apply was being applied to this.

180
00:09:11.480 --> 00:09:15.600
So I didn't ever try to apply it to this level because I hadn't gotten that deep

181
00:09:15.600 --> 00:09:18.000
yet, but now this is exposed.

182
00:09:18.040 --> 00:09:20.120
Now that I've dealt with this, this is now exposed.

183
00:09:20.320 --> 00:09:22.760
So I now need to apply those to that.

184
00:09:23.040 --> 00:09:25.200
And sometimes people just need.

185
00:09:26.120 --> 00:09:31.920
People just need or want support at each continuing deeper level.

186
00:09:31.920 --> 00:09:35.080
And so other people are like, you know, I think I've got it.

187
00:09:35.320 --> 00:09:36.800
I'm going to do it on my own now.

188
00:09:37.040 --> 00:09:40.920
And then other people are just like, you know, I've gone as far as even if they

189
00:09:40.920 --> 00:09:45.560
don't consciously think this, some are like, no, I've gone as far as I want to

190
00:09:45.720 --> 00:09:49.240
right now, now I want to focus on something else, you know, or whatever.

191
00:09:49.320 --> 00:09:52.480
So, so in other words, there's nothing weird about it.

192
00:09:52.520 --> 00:09:58.040
I honestly think that it's very healthy as long as it's what you want.

193
00:09:58.560 --> 00:10:00.000
And, you know, between, between.

194
00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:04.120
when you're in the Lord. And as long as, um, you know, you're,

195
00:10:05.520 --> 00:10:09.480
I lost the phrase that I was going to use. And, uh,

196
00:10:10.160 --> 00:10:12.600
I don't know, you know, as long as you feel that it is,

197
00:10:12.680 --> 00:10:16.640
it's helpful and supportive, you know,

198
00:10:16.640 --> 00:10:20.040
that it's actually giving you what it is that you want, you know,

199
00:10:20.040 --> 00:10:23.880
meaning like it's giving you that support, it's actually helping you move.

200
00:10:24.200 --> 00:10:26.960
Well, there's nothing weird at all about the rest intensive. I don't.

201
00:10:27.440 --> 00:10:31.760
And, and I guess I haven't, I've taken for granted,

202
00:10:32.480 --> 00:10:33.320
um,

203
00:10:33.360 --> 00:10:38.120
the fact that people just continue to take it if they want to.

204
00:10:38.600 --> 00:10:43.400
I don't ever think about, uh, um, you know, how, say for instance,

205
00:10:43.400 --> 00:10:47.520
if I were to call it like one Oh one, well, then every time people took it,

206
00:10:47.680 --> 00:10:48.760
or if people took it,

207
00:10:48.760 --> 00:10:51.080
they think that they couldn't take it again because they thought, well,

208
00:10:51.080 --> 00:10:52.120
that's the basics.

209
00:10:52.800 --> 00:10:55.320
What I want people to understand is no,

210
00:10:55.320 --> 00:10:59.840
this is a program that you can literally gain

211
00:10:59.840 --> 00:11:04.360
something from and go deeper based. Um,

212
00:11:04.760 --> 00:11:07.840
and you're not all starting from the same position.

213
00:11:08.440 --> 00:11:11.720
You're all starting, um, everyone,

214
00:11:11.840 --> 00:11:16.200
like the new people are starting brand new and then seasoned people

215
00:11:16.440 --> 00:11:20.200
are starting it from their seasoned place into new,

216
00:11:20.360 --> 00:11:23.440
deeper levels of different areas of their life.

217
00:11:23.720 --> 00:11:26.160
So it's almost like this evergreen program,

218
00:11:26.520 --> 00:11:31.520
as opposed to this one program that you build

219
00:11:31.520 --> 00:11:32.760
on. Does that make sense?

220
00:11:32.960 --> 00:11:37.800
You use it to build yourself because it's

221
00:11:37.800 --> 00:11:41.600
just a program that helps facilitate you going deeper,

222
00:11:41.680 --> 00:11:44.840
no matter which level that you're on. Yeah. And so,

223
00:11:45.040 --> 00:11:47.080
so it's totally up to what you want to do.

224
00:11:47.520 --> 00:11:50.680
I'm like, you should use evergreen in the future. That's really cool.

225
00:11:51.080 --> 00:11:54.960
I know. I thought the same thing. I was like, evergreen, what's the word?

226
00:11:54.960 --> 00:11:58.280
Maybe. And then I threw it out there. So I'm glad I got the confirmation.

227
00:11:58.320 --> 00:12:02.440
So I'm always looking for words to help me express what I'm trying to say.

228
00:12:03.520 --> 00:12:07.200
And I was thinking as you were like similar timing right before that,

229
00:12:07.200 --> 00:12:09.680
that of the song by, um,

230
00:12:11.720 --> 00:12:14.320
uh, the United kingdom gal who sings, you know,

231
00:12:14.360 --> 00:12:16.720
spirit lead me where my faith is without borders.

232
00:12:16.920 --> 00:12:20.720
So, uh, he'll talk, he'll song. She, yeah, it's health.

233
00:12:20.760 --> 00:12:23.800
I think it's Hillsong United. Cause they're just like Hillsong. Okay.

234
00:12:24.360 --> 00:12:27.520
He'll say it's more like the UK group. And then Taya,

235
00:12:27.560 --> 00:12:30.400
I think that's how you say her name. It's T-A-Y-A.

236
00:12:30.960 --> 00:12:34.960
She's the lead singer on that song. And she has not her own, like, well,

237
00:12:34.960 --> 00:12:36.280
I mean, she's been doing our own music,

238
00:12:36.280 --> 00:12:40.040
but she has like her own album that's not with anyone else.

239
00:12:40.960 --> 00:12:42.760
You're talking about the song oceans.

240
00:12:43.120 --> 00:12:43.960
Yes.

241
00:12:44.720 --> 00:12:45.840
Yeah. That one. Yeah.

242
00:12:46.680 --> 00:12:49.080
That makes what it made me think of like with the deeper,

243
00:12:49.640 --> 00:12:50.920
deeper and deeper, you know?

244
00:12:51.800 --> 00:12:55.000
Yeah. That's a good idea. Yeah. I hadn't thought about that.

245
00:12:55.840 --> 00:12:59.520
So anyway, um, uh, so it's just, it's just,

246
00:12:59.520 --> 00:13:04.120
if you want to and one of the reasons why I gave y'all the discount is, um,

247
00:13:04.760 --> 00:13:09.080
uh, the, uh, y'all already have all of the teachings already, you know,

248
00:13:09.120 --> 00:13:09.960
you've already heard them.

249
00:13:10.000 --> 00:13:13.760
You have lifetime access to them that you're not gaining anything new there,

250
00:13:14.120 --> 00:13:15.800
but what you, what,

251
00:13:16.160 --> 00:13:18.840
what would be of benefit is having the,

252
00:13:19.160 --> 00:13:23.760
it has continuing to have the community support to go deeper and

253
00:13:23.760 --> 00:13:27.720
continuing to have me to have access to ask questions of and stuff like that.

254
00:13:27.720 --> 00:13:29.800
And to like help you walk through stuff. So,

255
00:13:29.880 --> 00:13:32.000
but as far as like the teaching chart, you have access to all that.

256
00:13:32.000 --> 00:13:34.520
So that's for, it's really just kind of like, it's the,

257
00:13:34.520 --> 00:13:38.280
it's the mentorship piece that, um,

258
00:13:38.560 --> 00:13:41.840
that would be like, it's not new,

259
00:13:41.840 --> 00:13:45.880
but that you would be benefiting from you don't have access to just with the

260
00:13:45.880 --> 00:13:49.760
teachings. So it's the mentorship part. So in the community and whatever,

261
00:13:49.760 --> 00:13:52.200
of course you're already in the community, but you know,

262
00:13:52.200 --> 00:13:54.520
getting to go to the fireside chats, the rest groups,

263
00:13:54.600 --> 00:13:57.720
having access to the recordings, that kind of thing. So.

264
00:13:58.200 --> 00:14:01.360
I think that would be really, I think it's really beneficial to anybody,

265
00:14:01.360 --> 00:14:03.440
but maybe some people more than others, like you said,

266
00:14:03.440 --> 00:14:06.120
some are more independent, like, okay, I'm going to do my own thing now.

267
00:14:06.120 --> 00:14:09.920
I feel ready to apply this kind of on my own or in other

268
00:14:10.360 --> 00:14:14.760
contexts. And, uh, and that's great. But then also like,

269
00:14:14.760 --> 00:14:17.320
if you feel like there's more, like I know for Kate,

270
00:14:17.600 --> 00:14:21.840
she and I have been in touch throughout this season, you know, just really fun.

271
00:14:21.880 --> 00:14:24.680
Yeah. So we've been glad you're connected. I'm close. Yeah.

272
00:14:24.680 --> 00:14:28.480
And that's been cool. And yet her experience is, which I'm so,

273
00:14:28.480 --> 00:14:31.840
so happy for her, you know, but her experience is just a totally,

274
00:14:31.840 --> 00:14:35.480
it's just different. And I think for various reasons, you know, um,

275
00:14:35.560 --> 00:14:37.720
and her being so, you know,

276
00:14:37.720 --> 00:14:41.800
ultra focused and the Lord's timing on her life and also, you know,

277
00:14:41.800 --> 00:14:44.240
her being single, it is a different. Yeah.

278
00:14:44.520 --> 00:14:48.760
That up them being like a wife and mom and stuff amidst the group,

279
00:14:48.760 --> 00:14:49.600
but she,

280
00:14:50.560 --> 00:14:55.240
like ready to kind of embark on the next thing using what she's learned.

281
00:14:55.240 --> 00:14:56.240
And that's awesome. But like,

282
00:14:56.240 --> 00:14:59.720
I don't know if there's something about it for me that that community mentorship.

283
00:15:00.240 --> 00:15:07.440
piece because it still feels so like foreign like the concept of like rest in that like

284
00:15:07.440 --> 00:15:13.440
level of trust I mean the concept of rest even just as a whole not even the way you're talking

285
00:15:13.440 --> 00:15:19.040
about it but just even slowing down kind of rest you know is difficult for me to wrap my

286
00:15:19.040 --> 00:15:23.440
head around from my life experience so it's like it really does help to have the community

287
00:15:24.320 --> 00:15:28.800
for me to be like okay wait what am I doing again because it like centers me again and again

288
00:15:28.800 --> 00:15:34.800
on okay what is this thing that I'm trying to grab hold of that has been so foreign historically

289
00:15:34.800 --> 00:15:41.520
but that I really do want to own and make my own so yeah I'm excited to yeah explore that and

290
00:15:42.160 --> 00:15:47.040
possibility with Nick and I'm I'm hoping that it could work out if you start in January or whenever

291
00:15:47.040 --> 00:15:55.440
um January 28th yeah just go to the group chat that I that group chat and then in there

292
00:15:55.840 --> 00:16:01.760
there's a you know on the on Facebook messenger and I send y'all two links one for y'all and then

293
00:16:01.760 --> 00:16:06.800
one to pass along to uh you know people because some of the people have been sharing it with other

294
00:16:06.800 --> 00:16:11.600
people that they believe are ready and to make the you know the hard decisions to really face

295
00:16:11.600 --> 00:16:16.960
things and stuff like that so they though have a different price so and they kind of have a they

296
00:16:16.960 --> 00:16:23.760
have a bit of a different offering um uh then uh so there's two different pages so go to that

297
00:16:23.760 --> 00:16:29.120
go to that message that I sent there's two different links and so you won't have somebody

298
00:16:29.120 --> 00:16:34.480
in mind I mean I have several people in mind but since I'm not on social media or in a season of

299
00:16:34.480 --> 00:16:37.920
like my normal like I'm a connector I would normally be like oh my goodness I have all

300
00:16:37.920 --> 00:16:43.280
these people but um but I still even though I'm more in a season pulled back I have a couple

301
00:16:43.280 --> 00:16:49.440
of people in mind I just only have one that I can think of that I know um would be in position to

302
00:16:49.440 --> 00:16:54.560
maybe like afford it more than these other companies that are barely kind of making it

303
00:16:54.560 --> 00:16:58.960
on one income you know like stay-at-home moms that are making it on one income but I hope that

304
00:16:58.960 --> 00:17:04.160
maybe she would want to join because I think it'd be really cool and she actually she's my realtor

305
00:17:04.800 --> 00:17:09.920
oh cool got us this house but then she also lives down the street now she moved into the

306
00:17:09.920 --> 00:17:16.800
neighborhood since then so cool cool connection so but she goes to our church as well and so

307
00:17:16.800 --> 00:17:21.839
anyways well that's really cool I'm excited and yeah and uh the thing that the reason that I

308
00:17:21.839 --> 00:17:27.280
did the whole friends family thing was not to incentivize people to share it with people

309
00:17:28.240 --> 00:17:34.240
it was actually I mean I just assumed people would be incentivized based on their own changes

310
00:17:34.240 --> 00:17:39.280
and what it is that they want to you know share with other people the what it is that I was

311
00:17:39.280 --> 00:17:46.480
wanting to incentivize everyone with with the discount is that if their friends or family come

312
00:17:46.480 --> 00:17:52.400
that they would choose to participate as well because that additional community support

313
00:17:53.040 --> 00:18:02.560
greatly enhances and um the effectiveness of the program for both both parties the new people as

314
00:18:02.560 --> 00:18:08.480
well as you know the friends that referred them etc because they know people so they can help

315
00:18:08.480 --> 00:18:14.000
support each other and you have someone you're already doing life with that finally understands

316
00:18:14.000 --> 00:18:18.080
what you're talking about right you know what I'm saying kind of like you and Kate are probably

317
00:18:18.800 --> 00:18:22.960
one of the reasons why y'all connected is like okay I mean I'm sure you enjoy each other but

318
00:18:22.960 --> 00:18:28.800
it's also okay you understand and so hard to find people you know to talk to you know

319
00:18:28.800 --> 00:18:34.400
that understand we're talking about um like my family doesn't you know well my sister does you

320
00:18:34.400 --> 00:18:40.480
know she's in the group but other people don't understand what I'm talking about um and and a

321
00:18:40.480 --> 00:18:45.680
couple of the people are real big follower a couple of my family members are really big followers

322
00:18:45.680 --> 00:18:50.800
of Bethel and they still don't know fully what it is that I'm talking about and and they've talked

323
00:18:50.800 --> 00:18:56.720
about possibly doing the rest intensive program so anyway um uh just to you know just kind of

324
00:18:56.720 --> 00:19:00.720
explain you just share it with whoever it is you know that's on your heart in your own personal

325
00:19:00.720 --> 00:19:06.240
life of what like who you know and what you would just naturally do and want to do I didn't want to

326
00:19:06.240 --> 00:19:13.280
create anything to incentivize people to like go talk to people in order to be able to have a lower

327
00:19:13.280 --> 00:19:18.720
amount in order to be able to come into the program you know for less my whole thing of

328
00:19:18.720 --> 00:19:23.840
offering less to be able to come into the program was for people they're already wanting to share

329
00:19:23.840 --> 00:19:30.080
it with I'm wanting to incentivize people to join with their friend in the program so that

330
00:19:30.800 --> 00:19:38.480
so that it would um it would strengthen the the richness of the community you know because because

331
00:19:38.480 --> 00:19:45.200
you've got people who know each other and they're able to talk and support one another you know and

332
00:19:45.200 --> 00:19:49.200
actually just living life which is what they're already doing outside of the rest intensive anyway

333
00:19:49.200 --> 00:19:53.840
is loving on supporting each other in life and then here's this additional aspect that they're

334
00:19:53.840 --> 00:19:59.840
able to like understand each other in and share share with each other so I just thought it would

335
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:01.340
me that people would enjoy it.

336
00:20:01.560 --> 00:20:05.980
And the only reason I thought of it was because I had at least five people reach

337
00:20:05.980 --> 00:20:11.200
out to me that were friends of current members and, and then since then I've had

338
00:20:11.200 --> 00:20:17.960
at least one, if not two others who've reached out to me and, um, so I almost

339
00:20:17.960 --> 00:20:22.620
have a full program already, so I don't have a limit on the number.

340
00:20:22.720 --> 00:20:26.120
I'm just saying that based off of how many people that it looks like

341
00:20:26.120 --> 00:20:29.280
I'll be coming in, it looks like I already have full and I haven't

342
00:20:29.960 --> 00:20:31.440
advertised it outside of the group.

343
00:20:31.560 --> 00:20:32.040
So anyway,

344
00:20:32.520 --> 00:20:33.800
Oh, amazing.

345
00:20:33.800 --> 00:20:35.580
Like that's, this gets me so excited.

346
00:20:35.580 --> 00:20:38.760
I love hearing that because it's such a valuable thing.

347
00:20:38.760 --> 00:20:42.480
It's hard to put into words, but that people would capture that and sign up

348
00:20:42.480 --> 00:20:46.360
and then God would just like fill your, your group of without you even sharing

349
00:20:46.360 --> 00:20:51.600
it publicly is so fitting, you know, it's like, yeah, what it should be like.

350
00:20:51.600 --> 00:20:52.920
And that says, yeah,

351
00:20:54.040 --> 00:20:57.520
that's what I thank the Lord for is like, Laura, thank you that it's at,

352
00:20:57.520 --> 00:21:00.840
cause my whole point was for this to be effective and that it's effective

353
00:21:00.840 --> 00:21:04.080
enough where other people want to share it with other people and their lives

354
00:21:04.080 --> 00:21:09.120
are changing enough that other people are noticing and saying, I want what

355
00:21:09.120 --> 00:21:13.160
you have, because that is what God intended.

356
00:21:13.480 --> 00:21:18.440
The gospel to be for us to change so much that other people look at us and

357
00:21:18.440 --> 00:21:21.520
say, you are different and I want to do whatever I have to do in my

358
00:21:21.520 --> 00:21:22.960
own life to get what you have.

359
00:21:23.480 --> 00:21:28.520
And so I was just so excited that I was able to, and this is all obviously

360
00:21:28.520 --> 00:21:32.680
the Lord, the Lord is what transforms people, but I wanted to provide a

361
00:21:32.680 --> 00:21:37.000
structure in which that was effectively happening, that I was effectively

362
00:21:37.000 --> 00:21:43.160
communicating my spirit, you know, the spirit to people that was actually

363
00:21:43.160 --> 00:21:48.240
helping them get the true message of the gospel so that, and then God could

364
00:21:48.240 --> 00:21:49.680
be, cause what does it say?

365
00:21:50.520 --> 00:21:54.040
Um, uh, belief comes by hearing.

366
00:21:54.640 --> 00:21:58.800
So I wanted to, I asked the Lord, Lord, you know, can you, can you please use

367
00:21:58.840 --> 00:22:02.560
me to help explain it to people so that they can actually get what

368
00:22:02.560 --> 00:22:03.800
you're trying to say to them?

369
00:22:04.400 --> 00:22:07.600
So anyway, but so how are you?

370
00:22:08.040 --> 00:22:10.000
So, yeah, so I'm good.

371
00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:13.720
I think, um, part of what's even coming up talking about this, which is all

372
00:22:13.720 --> 00:22:17.560
good, it's just, I just had this realization as you were sharing that.

373
00:22:18.840 --> 00:22:23.920
There's some part of me that's like, like, I don't want to be like the, you

374
00:22:23.920 --> 00:22:29.120
know, the middle-aged woman and still in diapers and your class, like, you

375
00:22:29.120 --> 00:22:29.840
know what I mean?

376
00:22:29.840 --> 00:22:35.440
Like, I don't want to be like, here I am like a lifetime member and

377
00:22:36.640 --> 00:22:37.760
know what's happening.

378
00:22:38.360 --> 00:22:43.880
Still, you've had a lot to contend with, you know, your, what it is that

379
00:22:43.880 --> 00:22:49.880
you're having to overcome and learn rest in to overcome that thing, because

380
00:22:49.880 --> 00:22:55.920
you're using, you're using rest to walk through that chaos that is not given to

381
00:22:55.920 --> 00:22:59.160
most people, what it is that you're going through is not given to most

382
00:22:59.160 --> 00:23:00.600
people to have to overcome.

383
00:23:01.000 --> 00:23:01.640
So.

384
00:23:02.120 --> 00:23:06.440
The thing is that you've presented yourself to the Lord as someone who's

385
00:23:06.440 --> 00:23:08.920
willing to overcome to that degree.

386
00:23:09.680 --> 00:23:17.480
And so I encourage you don't be, don't compare yourself to other people because

387
00:23:17.600 --> 00:23:21.880
for one thing, they have their own things that they're overcoming that some of

388
00:23:21.880 --> 00:23:27.520
which are not what it is that, you know, to the degree of what you're overcoming

389
00:23:27.560 --> 00:23:31.280
and in the midst of what you're having to, you know, like go through the rest

390
00:23:31.280 --> 00:23:35.720
intensive program while going through lawsuits and everything else, you know,

391
00:23:36.280 --> 00:23:46.160
but, but also it's just, everyone just has their own, I don't know, just, just

392
00:23:46.160 --> 00:23:49.120
their own journey in it ever.

393
00:23:49.160 --> 00:23:55.440
And, and just everyone has to handle, has a different stuff going

394
00:23:55.440 --> 00:23:56.840
on in their life at the time.

395
00:23:57.200 --> 00:24:03.160
Also, there could be things that you're wanting to go to a deeper level of the

396
00:24:03.160 --> 00:24:12.600
Lord in, in certain areas that other people don't see or desire to do what

397
00:24:12.600 --> 00:24:15.800
they have to do to shift and to rest at that level.

398
00:24:16.560 --> 00:24:21.320
And so if you think everyone sees in their life, what you see in you lot in

399
00:24:21.320 --> 00:24:25.360
your life and what you want to do, and you're thinking, oh, they see that

400
00:24:25.680 --> 00:24:27.200
and they've gotten there.

401
00:24:27.320 --> 00:24:28.200
That's not true.

402
00:24:28.840 --> 00:24:32.120
Some of those people don't see it or don't want to go there.

403
00:24:32.520 --> 00:24:35.320
So if you're seeing, Hey, look, I want to go there and I haven't

404
00:24:35.320 --> 00:24:37.440
gotten quite as deep as I want.

405
00:24:37.560 --> 00:24:40.960
Don't think that some, because somebody else is like, oh, I'm good

406
00:24:41.160 --> 00:24:42.720
that they got where you're headed.

407
00:24:43.400 --> 00:24:45.080
There's might've been a lot shorter.

408
00:24:45.560 --> 00:24:46.880
And we're like, oh, I just want to go here.

409
00:24:46.880 --> 00:24:48.120
And you're like, well, I want to go here.

410
00:24:48.120 --> 00:24:50.880
And so when they are, when they're happy and they're like, oh my word.

411
00:24:51.200 --> 00:24:51.680
Yay.

412
00:24:51.680 --> 00:24:52.400
I'm good.

413
00:24:53.640 --> 00:24:54.840
They might be here.

414
00:24:55.160 --> 00:24:57.760
And you're thinking they're here because this is where you want to get.

415
00:24:58.160 --> 00:25:00.000
So I just encourage.

416
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:10.120
you that just you, you pursue the freedom that you fill in your spirit, that you want

417
00:25:10.120 --> 00:25:15.440
with the Lord and your, your background, your circumstances, your obstacles.

418
00:25:15.440 --> 00:25:20.760
In other words, the things that are trying to hinder you, you know, and you know, they're,

419
00:25:20.760 --> 00:25:24.920
they're all, they're unique and you choose for your life.

420
00:25:24.920 --> 00:25:29.060
What do you want to overcome and the rest of the world, including the rest of the body

421
00:25:29.060 --> 00:25:33.260
of Christ and all these other people who are happy just going here, get to benefit from

422
00:25:33.260 --> 00:25:35.420
what you're willing to do in your life.

423
00:25:35.420 --> 00:25:40.560
It actually creates this ripple effect in creation that like breaks chains, et cetera,

424
00:25:40.560 --> 00:25:43.460
because you made a choice in your life.

425
00:25:43.460 --> 00:25:48.500
So we're just called to overcome different aspects of creation.

426
00:25:48.500 --> 00:25:52.540
And we can't, and that means that if we're overcoming these different aspects of creation

427
00:25:52.540 --> 00:25:58.340
and we have our different backgrounds in which we're coming to that, then our, our, our journeys

428
00:25:58.340 --> 00:26:01.700
all look different, you know, whatever.

429
00:26:01.700 --> 00:26:06.620
And that's why I offer the mentorship and I do the personal transformation sessions

430
00:26:06.620 --> 00:26:14.300
is because I want people to hear in their own unique world, what they need to hear in

431
00:26:14.300 --> 00:26:20.860
order to, in order to be helped in order to, I don't know, hear what it is that I'm trying

432
00:26:20.860 --> 00:26:24.540
to say, like, okay, how are you hearing what I need to say?

433
00:26:24.540 --> 00:26:27.140
And do I need to say it in a different way so that you hear it?

434
00:26:27.140 --> 00:26:31.260
Because this phrase worked with this person that's not coming through to this other person.

435
00:26:31.260 --> 00:26:33.860
So what do I need to uniquely help them?

436
00:26:33.860 --> 00:26:35.620
Because everyone, everyone's just kind of different.

437
00:26:35.620 --> 00:26:40.300
So anyway, I just say that as an encouragement that what has been given to you hasn't been

438
00:26:40.300 --> 00:26:41.460
given to everyone else.

439
00:26:41.460 --> 00:26:45.660
There are people that are in the program that have ever had to overcome, you know, Amish

440
00:26:45.660 --> 00:26:46.660
backgrounds.

441
00:26:46.660 --> 00:26:51.180
You remember Barbie who's in, who's in the life, she's one of the lifetime members.

442
00:26:51.180 --> 00:26:52.340
She is Amish.

443
00:26:52.340 --> 00:26:54.540
She hasn't been very active as far.

444
00:26:54.540 --> 00:26:58.540
I mean, I've gotten to know her personally really well, gone to visit them and everything

445
00:26:58.540 --> 00:26:59.540
in Pennsylvania.

446
00:26:59.540 --> 00:27:04.500
But my point is that in the group itself, a lot of people don't, that don't personally

447
00:27:04.500 --> 00:27:05.500
know her.

448
00:27:05.500 --> 00:27:09.060
A lot of people don't know her just because she's very reserved and she keeps to herself,

449
00:27:09.060 --> 00:27:14.300
but her, but she has some of her videos up online and I mean, up on the group and with

450
00:27:14.300 --> 00:27:16.420
testimony videos, et cetera.

451
00:27:16.420 --> 00:27:19.160
Anyway, they left the Amish.

452
00:27:19.160 --> 00:27:23.680
And I think that when she and her husband left, I think that when she joined the group,

453
00:27:23.680 --> 00:27:29.720
she and her husband had left like only seven or seven years prior or something like that.

454
00:27:29.720 --> 00:27:36.880
I mean, she's a full grown woman whose oldest daughter was 14 at the time when they left

455
00:27:36.880 --> 00:27:41.880
and she's got eight children, you know, I mean, it's just, and they, so, I mean, and,

456
00:27:41.880 --> 00:27:47.040
and she's really struggled with things and she's just like Ashley, you know, she wouldn't

457
00:27:47.040 --> 00:27:52.560
mind me sharing this, you know, actually, why don't I, why am I not moving in certain

458
00:27:52.560 --> 00:27:54.800
areas as fast as other people seem to move?

459
00:27:54.800 --> 00:28:01.840
And I say, how many people in that group are overcoming having grown up brainwashed in

460
00:28:01.840 --> 00:28:08.800
a pit that, that in a particular, not just a particular perspective of religion of like

461
00:28:08.800 --> 00:28:17.560
what God expects of them, but actually walking that out in a physical way that is that the

462
00:28:17.560 --> 00:28:23.800
world does not, and that, that the world doesn't, that the rest of the world doesn't

463
00:28:23.800 --> 00:28:28.960
operate like, and you just have to create, you have to create your own world in order

464
00:28:28.960 --> 00:28:30.600
to get to live in it.

465
00:28:30.600 --> 00:28:33.000
You have to create that Amish thing.

466
00:28:33.000 --> 00:28:35.000
You have, and everything's harder.

467
00:28:35.000 --> 00:28:40.120
You know, it's like, say you have this whole world that you have to say no to.

468
00:28:40.120 --> 00:28:45.560
It's like, it's like living in a garden where there's only one tree that's okay because

469
00:28:45.640 --> 00:28:47.240
all the other ones are bad.

470
00:28:47.240 --> 00:28:49.320
That's what living in the Amish is similar to.

471
00:28:50.040 --> 00:28:54.040
And so I said, the rest of the people in this group are not overcoming that.

472
00:28:54.920 --> 00:29:00.440
And I don't remember how old she is exactly, but she's like, I mean, she lived decades

473
00:29:00.440 --> 00:29:01.320
in that.

474
00:29:01.320 --> 00:29:03.320
She didn't like join it later.

475
00:29:03.320 --> 00:29:05.160
She knew nothing but it.

476
00:29:05.160 --> 00:29:08.200
And then too, I was shocked that she came out of it.

477
00:29:08.200 --> 00:29:11.000
I mean, how do you come out of something that that's all you've ever known?

478
00:29:11.960 --> 00:29:17.640
And, and your family, you know, she, they've had issues with their family, not receiving

479
00:29:17.640 --> 00:29:20.200
them, you know, all kinds of stuff.

480
00:29:20.200 --> 00:29:23.160
And it's like, I was like, Barbie, I'm not dealing with that.

481
00:29:25.640 --> 00:29:27.880
It was my own experience.

482
00:29:27.880 --> 00:29:28.840
It wasn't this.

483
00:29:28.840 --> 00:29:35.240
It was like, you can't compare what you are willing to overcome for you and your children

484
00:29:35.240 --> 00:29:37.480
and the Lord with everybody else.

485
00:29:37.480 --> 00:29:39.960
So anyway, just as an encouragement, we all have our own things.

486
00:29:40.280 --> 00:29:41.160
But you're so, so right.

487
00:29:41.160 --> 00:29:42.280
And it's wild too, because.

488
00:29:43.080 --> 00:29:47.080
I mean, it might seem like a small thing, but I don't meet people often that, I mean,

489
00:29:47.080 --> 00:29:48.520
my family's from Amish town.

490
00:29:48.520 --> 00:29:50.440
So like the fact that forget about that.

491
00:29:51.080 --> 00:29:51.560
Yeah.

492
00:29:51.560 --> 00:29:56.520
And so like that Amish thing, I'm like, that is so wild that you're, you, you with this

493
00:29:56.520 --> 00:29:59.720
message of rest, that everything can be not harder, but.

494
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:01.000
Yeah.

495
00:30:01.000 --> 00:30:02.000
He's easier.

496
00:30:02.000 --> 00:30:04.000
You know, effortless would come into contact.

497
00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:07.000
I mean, that's so God and so amazing.

498
00:30:07.000 --> 00:30:09.000
And then my husband, he grew up.

499
00:30:09.000 --> 00:30:12.000
So he was Mennonite until age 10.

500
00:30:12.000 --> 00:30:13.000
Okay.

501
00:30:13.000 --> 00:30:15.000
And he's the baby of the family out of six.

502
00:30:15.000 --> 00:30:19.000
So like some of his brothers and sisters, like teen, you know,

503
00:30:19.000 --> 00:30:23.000
they were teens and, and later.

504
00:30:23.000 --> 00:30:26.000
So even though it's not the exact same, it is similar.

505
00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:27.000
The most similar.

506
00:30:27.000 --> 00:30:28.000
Yeah.

507
00:30:28.000 --> 00:30:29.000
Yeah.

508
00:30:29.000 --> 00:30:30.000
Yeah.

509
00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:33.000
So, and then I also have a sister named Audra. So it's just kind of

510
00:30:33.000 --> 00:30:34.000
funny.

511
00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:39.000
I don't know if I ever told you that, but I'm just like, that is so.

512
00:30:39.000 --> 00:30:40.000
But I completely forgot.

513
00:30:40.000 --> 00:30:43.000
I'm glad that this is recorded already because I'm like,

514
00:30:43.000 --> 00:30:45.000
I love how you.

515
00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:47.000
Spoken to that. And you know,

516
00:30:47.000 --> 00:30:49.000
the example that you gave and the way you explain that was just so

517
00:30:49.000 --> 00:30:51.000
like, so, so good.

518
00:30:51.000 --> 00:30:53.000
I feel emotional about it,

519
00:30:53.000 --> 00:30:57.000
but I already probably felt emotional before, but I also.

520
00:30:57.000 --> 00:30:58.000
I feel like.

521
00:30:58.000 --> 00:31:02.000
I think I really just.

522
00:31:02.000 --> 00:31:08.000
Like, I, I feel like I've.

523
00:31:08.000 --> 00:31:11.000
I feel like I've overcome so much just to even be here.

524
00:31:11.000 --> 00:31:12.000
Do you know what I mean? To have even.

525
00:31:12.000 --> 00:31:13.000
Met.

526
00:31:13.000 --> 00:31:16.000
To start things in 2020. And then I feel like even.

527
00:31:16.000 --> 00:31:20.000
This year and the call to rest when I was not in touch with you.

528
00:31:20.000 --> 00:31:21.000
Not necessarily, you know,

529
00:31:21.000 --> 00:31:24.000
In conversation at a time period, you know,

530
00:31:24.000 --> 00:31:26.000
Yeah.

531
00:31:26.000 --> 00:31:35.000
So, so, so.

532
00:31:35.000 --> 00:31:36.000
And it's like,

533
00:31:36.000 --> 00:31:38.000
and then the Lord like called me to this and then he had you start

534
00:31:38.000 --> 00:31:40.000
this and all that. And then it's like the fact that I've invested,

535
00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:44.000
not just.

536
00:31:44.000 --> 00:31:45.000
You know,

537
00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:47.000
the financial was like a step that I wasn't able to do when I was a

538
00:31:47.000 --> 00:31:49.000
single mom. So that was a huge step,

539
00:31:49.000 --> 00:31:54.000
but also way more than that is like the.

540
00:31:54.000 --> 00:31:55.000
Like, like the,

541
00:31:55.000 --> 00:31:58.000
like the things that I'm comfortable doing in life.

542
00:31:58.000 --> 00:32:01.000
Now I have like a lot of people in that process to let.

543
00:32:01.000 --> 00:32:09.000
Them in.

544
00:32:09.000 --> 00:32:10.000
Even though I'm a pretty trusting person,

545
00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:13.000
I have a lot of a lot of people in my life and friends and stuff.

546
00:32:13.000 --> 00:32:15.000
It's still very intimate. Like this,

547
00:32:15.000 --> 00:32:18.000
this kind of stuff that you're speaking into and seeing into.

548
00:32:18.000 --> 00:32:21.000
Is like the most intimate kind of vulnerable stuff.

549
00:32:21.000 --> 00:32:23.000
And so why would I like start over or why would I stop almost at the

550
00:32:23.000 --> 00:32:24.000
end?

551
00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:26.000
I'm not saying that I'm going to stop.

552
00:32:26.000 --> 00:32:27.000
I'm not saying that I'm going to stop.

553
00:32:27.000 --> 00:32:30.000
I'm just saying that I'm going to continue to the finish line that,

554
00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:32.000
you know, I've given everything to complete this.

555
00:32:32.000 --> 00:32:34.000
Race and not that the whole race is about the rest intensive,

556
00:32:34.000 --> 00:32:35.000
but it's about.

557
00:32:35.000 --> 00:32:37.000
It is, I mean, like my life depends on whatever it is.

558
00:32:37.000 --> 00:32:41.000
You need for you to support you through.

559
00:32:41.000 --> 00:32:44.000
You know, taking the, finishing this journey with the Lord. Yeah.

560
00:32:44.000 --> 00:32:45.000
And I know that.

561
00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:46.000
The rest.

562
00:32:46.000 --> 00:32:48.000
Is part of that or not. That's up to you. So, but yeah.

563
00:32:49.000 --> 00:32:50.000
Yeah.

564
00:32:50.000 --> 00:32:51.000
Yeah.

565
00:32:51.000 --> 00:32:54.000
And I think that that brings that it's not just my,

566
00:32:54.000 --> 00:32:56.000
it is my personal relationship with God, but it's.

567
00:32:56.000 --> 00:32:58.000
Way beyond that. Like, I know that he's saying.

568
00:32:58.000 --> 00:33:08.000
When these chains are broken, like that, he's.

569
00:33:08.000 --> 00:33:11.000
This breakthrough that I fought for is going to be for others beyond

570
00:33:11.000 --> 00:33:13.000
me. It's it's part of the calling and destiny.

571
00:33:13.000 --> 00:33:14.000
So it's not even just my own.

572
00:33:14.000 --> 00:33:16.000
Even though that's where the focus is at this moment.

573
00:33:17.000 --> 00:33:18.000
Yeah.

574
00:33:18.000 --> 00:33:20.000
So I mean, I know that God's like, okay,

575
00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:22.000
I'm going to have this compassion and mercy for my own.

576
00:33:22.000 --> 00:33:23.000
And I know that God's like, okay,

577
00:33:23.000 --> 00:33:25.000
I'm going to have this compassion and mercy for everybody around me.

578
00:33:25.000 --> 00:33:28.000
Is okay. And how all this compassion and mercy for their situations,

579
00:33:28.000 --> 00:33:30.000
but I haven't had it for my own. So now he's like, okay,

580
00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:31.000
now it's time to have it for you.

581
00:33:31.000 --> 00:33:32.000
And once you do that,

582
00:33:32.000 --> 00:33:35.000
you really will be able to love others as you love yourself.

583
00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:36.000
You know, and you love your neighbor as you love yourself,

584
00:33:36.000 --> 00:33:37.000
you'll be able to have that freedom.

585
00:33:37.000 --> 00:33:40.000
To do it from the right motivation into the right.

586
00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:43.000
Place of love and not fear of.

587
00:33:43.000 --> 00:33:44.000
Yeah.

588
00:33:44.000 --> 00:33:45.000
I'm not sure.

589
00:33:45.000 --> 00:33:46.000
I don't know.

590
00:33:46.000 --> 00:33:47.000
I'm not.

591
00:33:47.000 --> 00:33:48.000
I don't know.

592
00:33:48.000 --> 00:33:49.000
I don't know how to use the word.

593
00:33:49.000 --> 00:33:50.000
I think it's like, I don't know.

594
00:33:50.000 --> 00:33:52.000
I don't know how to use it.

595
00:33:52.000 --> 00:33:54.000
In terms of like what your name or worth or something like that.

596
00:33:54.000 --> 00:33:55.000
Anyways. But yeah, I know.

597
00:33:55.000 --> 00:33:56.000
Big deal.

598
00:33:56.000 --> 00:33:57.000
So.

599
00:33:57.000 --> 00:33:58.000
Yeah.

600
00:33:58.000 --> 00:34:00.000
Well, so how.

601
00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:01.000
How are you?

602
00:34:01.000 --> 00:34:04.000
We haven't connected. Like you said, personally and while, so.

603
00:34:04.000 --> 00:34:05.000
You know, meaning like one-on-one.

604
00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:06.000
Yeah.

605
00:34:06.000 --> 00:34:07.000
True.

606
00:34:07.000 --> 00:34:09.000
I feel like I've been seeing you because I've been seeing you.

607
00:34:09.000 --> 00:34:10.000
I know.

608
00:34:10.000 --> 00:34:11.000
Like.

609
00:34:11.000 --> 00:34:12.000
I think it's a good.

610
00:34:13.000 --> 00:34:15.000
I mean, I think you've heard some on my share sharing on the rest

611
00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:17.000
groups, like just how.

612
00:34:17.000 --> 00:34:21.000
I can see coming out of the worst of.

613
00:34:21.000 --> 00:34:23.000
Things and just like the worst as in, like,

614
00:34:23.000 --> 00:34:27.000
I don't feel like I have much control over my situation,

615
00:34:27.000 --> 00:34:30.000
but also even myself right now, like, I feel like the.

616
00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:33.000
The things that are being triggered, like.

617
00:34:33.000 --> 00:34:37.000
During that season were like things that.

618
00:34:37.000 --> 00:34:40.000
Hadn't been, I guess, even in the like, really, really bad times.

619
00:34:41.000 --> 00:34:44.000
They weren't, they weren't worse than it was just different.

620
00:34:44.000 --> 00:34:46.000
The way that I was struggling to cope was different.

621
00:34:46.000 --> 00:34:48.000
If that makes sense.

622
00:34:48.000 --> 00:34:53.000
Then in the past, when, when I went downhill, like with my, you know,

623
00:34:54.000 --> 00:34:57.000
Whatever my situation, my mental health, like wasn't,

624
00:34:57.000 --> 00:35:00.000
wasn't coping or it was a spiritual attack.

625
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:07.200
too. I know it was, but, um, like just that level of intensity and then coming

626
00:35:07.200 --> 00:35:12.160
out of that, it was just such a relief, like a gratitude of like, you know, even

627
00:35:12.160 --> 00:35:16.720
those couple of weeks following the hearing and everything, just being, um,

628
00:35:16.800 --> 00:35:21.640
free from a lot of that panic and the, the stuff that was coming up to disturb

629
00:35:21.640 --> 00:35:23.800
my sleep and all of that was just like a huge gift.

630
00:35:23.800 --> 00:35:28.240
So I've just been kind of relishing this time, but at the same time, I think the

631
00:35:28.240 --> 00:35:35.160
Lord has been like showing me, um, in a way like that, if one, he's been showing

632
00:35:35.160 --> 00:35:40.400
me a lot about what, like what allowed that to have so much power over me, you

633
00:35:40.400 --> 00:35:45.840
know, and what I've allowed into my life or my responses that hasn't been healthy.

634
00:35:45.840 --> 00:35:51.080
That's been, you know, that's been, um, bitterness and toxic kind of, you know,

635
00:35:51.120 --> 00:35:55.760
judging people like my ex-husband and condemning and things like that, that

636
00:35:56.240 --> 00:36:02.600
has allowed open doors, like into my own life and like allowed, um, me to continue

637
00:36:02.600 --> 00:36:08.800
to be poisoned by like being a victim and, and feeling like you have done this

638
00:36:08.800 --> 00:36:12.760
to me and now look, you know, and now look what all, and, you know, I can't get

639
00:36:12.760 --> 00:36:15.560
out of this or I can't get out of that, or this has happened because of this

640
00:36:15.560 --> 00:36:20.600
and because of that, and just, you know, and I don't blame myself.

641
00:36:20.640 --> 00:36:23.320
Like thankfully I'm not shaming myself in it.

642
00:36:23.360 --> 00:36:28.760
Like he's given me the ability to, to see it and receive it as a gift, as

643
00:36:28.760 --> 00:36:35.120
like an awareness that I can grow in that can free me, um, from having that

644
00:36:35.120 --> 00:36:38.880
happen again, like if this happens again, as in if he does something else and

645
00:36:38.880 --> 00:36:42.960
brings us back to court, you know, say in the spring or soon or something like

646
00:36:42.960 --> 00:36:49.560
that, that there was so much that I was able to glean from that after the fact,

647
00:36:49.560 --> 00:36:55.080
after I wasn't in the thick of it anymore, um, that just allow has allowed

648
00:36:55.080 --> 00:37:00.920
me over the past month or six weeks or whatever to see like how much power I do

649
00:37:00.920 --> 00:37:05.480
have, how much strength I do have and how I don't have to be impacted by that again.

650
00:37:06.200 --> 00:37:09.600
Um, ever again, like, it's not like, okay, well, when this happens,

651
00:37:09.600 --> 00:37:12.000
then I won't be impacted.

652
00:37:12.000 --> 00:37:17.120
Like, I think it's like a, it's not like all one and done, but it's

653
00:37:17.120 --> 00:37:23.040
like a, like a shift enough to say, Oh, like, this is how I can now live

654
00:37:23.040 --> 00:37:25.280
in and think in my new paradigm.

655
00:37:25.960 --> 00:37:32.880
You know, that has, that includes like all this, um, release, I guess,

656
00:37:32.880 --> 00:37:38.040
and forgiveness and also, um, being able to do that, but while still having

657
00:37:38.040 --> 00:37:41.040
boundaries in place, like still seeing who somebody is, at least who they

658
00:37:41.040 --> 00:37:45.240
present themselves to be over and over, but not letting them close to me.

659
00:37:45.240 --> 00:37:48.520
Because every time I would in the past have forgiveness for Sam, my ex-husband,

660
00:37:48.520 --> 00:37:52.560
I would let him, it was like, like my heart would just, like, I could feel

661
00:37:52.560 --> 00:37:56.440
the walls going down and opening up to him, like no boundaries anymore.

662
00:37:56.800 --> 00:37:57.120
Yeah.

663
00:37:57.280 --> 00:38:00.920
So I didn't know why it was happening, but it's like, we're moving past that to

664
00:38:00.920 --> 00:38:03.600
where I can have this understanding.

665
00:38:04.320 --> 00:38:09.200
And yeah, it's like, I don't even think about him, like making choices to be

666
00:38:09.200 --> 00:38:12.240
like, I'm not going to be shocked by human behavior.

667
00:38:12.240 --> 00:38:15.360
I'm not going to be shocked when he does the next thing tomorrow

668
00:38:15.360 --> 00:38:16.320
or the next day or whatever.

669
00:38:16.320 --> 00:38:17.600
I'm not going to respond.

670
00:38:18.000 --> 00:38:20.080
I am not bound to respond to these things.

671
00:38:20.080 --> 00:38:22.560
I don't, you know, like just a totally different way of approaching that, but

672
00:38:22.560 --> 00:38:29.880
also the heart of forgiveness to release him and going through actually forgiving,

673
00:38:30.520 --> 00:38:36.120
um, some people in my life, including him again, in a way, like maybe I, maybe

674
00:38:36.120 --> 00:38:42.600
I've never done it like this or from this place, or it's been a long time,

675
00:38:42.600 --> 00:38:44.040
but there was forgiveness.

676
00:38:44.520 --> 00:38:47.680
I was able to come to a place where I was like, I have to like, forgive now, like

677
00:38:47.680 --> 00:38:54.440
today, today, like there became a day, you know, after a few weeks of, or a

678
00:38:54.480 --> 00:38:59.680
couple weeks of realizing, realizing these things and being challenged, even by my

679
00:38:59.680 --> 00:39:04.400
spiritual mom, who was like, you, like, you're not his savior and you're not his

680
00:39:04.440 --> 00:39:04.800
God.

681
00:39:04.800 --> 00:39:08.920
And you don't, you know, you don't, I mean, she can speak to that in this way.

682
00:39:08.920 --> 00:39:13.560
Cause she's 63 and she has, you know, she has this way about her that's motherly

683
00:39:13.560 --> 00:39:16.600
and whatever, but she's like, you, you know, you don't get to judge him.

684
00:39:16.600 --> 00:39:20.920
And she's, you know, she's, she was saying like, I say to myself, she turns

685
00:39:20.920 --> 00:39:31.160
the scripture around to say, you know, make it personal, say like, I do not judge.

686
00:39:31.160 --> 00:39:31.960
I'm not judged.

687
00:39:31.960 --> 00:39:36.040
I do not condemn passages that she would just talk about in a way that was like I,

688
00:39:36.200 --> 00:39:40.840
and she would send them to me to declare as a declaration, you know, even like I

689
00:39:40.840 --> 00:39:44.280
Liberty, you know, rid myself of all bitterness, you know, wrath and malice

690
00:39:44.280 --> 00:39:48.960
and slander and every form of anger and bitterness, whatever, whatever.

691
00:39:48.960 --> 00:39:52.200
And I am kind and compassionate to myself and others.

692
00:39:52.200 --> 00:39:57.800
You know, I forgive both, you know, each myself and others as Christ and God

693
00:39:57.800 --> 00:39:59.720
forgave me or God in Christ forgave me.

694
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:12.000
And so just even turning it into like a personal thing for scripture, like scriptures like that has been really helpful because I've never really seen how that.

695
00:40:12.000 --> 00:40:27.000
And more and more has felt like a, it hasn't felt empowering to read scriptures like that in the past it's like a to do list does that make sense like this time it was like owning this I'm choosing this person and this is my identity I'm not like Jesus

696
00:40:27.000 --> 00:40:43.000
I'm not, I don't judge and I don't, I don't condemn people and all this so there's been a lot of sense that has been shifting and I think it's readying me more for not just, you know, if Sam does this again, but also, whatever it looks like to continue

697
00:40:43.000 --> 00:40:54.000
healing some so facing some of the things that were feeling really scary and overwhelming in the fall, like, what is it going to look like how's God going to call me to heal.

698
00:40:54.000 --> 00:41:00.000
Well, what if it takes me down a bad road you know what if he allows this or that to happen.

699
00:41:01.000 --> 00:41:14.000
It was really confusing to know like what he what I was submitting to, like, am I submitting to like going back to that psych ward, am I submitting to, you know, like no that's not what he has for me but I couldn't really say that for sure because I wanted

700
00:41:14.000 --> 00:41:21.000
to give myself surrender to him in whatever it looked like to heal but I didn't really believe it was going to look good.

701
00:41:22.000 --> 00:41:38.000
Yeah, I'm starting to receive a different sort of word like he's speaking this better word where I feel more hope and less fear than ever about going into these healing things and like I even had my inner healing session yesterday.

702
00:41:39.000 --> 00:41:44.000
And some things came up that were pretty like significant things about.

703
00:41:44.000 --> 00:41:56.000
And interestingly enough like Ed came up just the fact that he had named some ages that he felt like the Lord had said, these are like some significant ages of traumas and things like that but like it came up.

704
00:41:57.000 --> 00:42:13.000
Not historical right because a lot of times you can't remember stuff before age five. Yeah, but they test the body kind of like they do nutritional testing, and it's the spirit filled process but they they do test the body for where essentially

705
00:42:13.000 --> 00:42:29.000
things like your body can like tell you things like your electrical system your nervous system and so they test and like what came up was that there was a significant like it was the love perpetrator theme, because they have each session is like a, you

706
00:42:30.000 --> 00:42:46.000
it's trauma, you know, attachment or I mean different ones so this was like the perpetrator for the trauma one and it was the second time I was going through the perpetrator one because my body tested that it needed more and then it came out that my mom.

707
00:42:47.000 --> 00:43:00.000
At least, you know, again I don't know 100% reality, historical reality but essentially that my mom was abused from a very very very young age like kind of the earliest of ages.

708
00:43:00.000 --> 00:43:14.000
And so that there was sadness coming up with that which was good in the sense that I struggle to have compassion for my mom like I have so much pain and hurt from forever from my mom that I feel the least close to her I don't, I don't trust her I want to

709
00:43:14.000 --> 00:43:28.000
have compassion for her but every time I do it feels like it just gets me in trouble. So I was able to have some, you know that sadness and compassion for her knowing that she likely went through some, you know, major abuse from an early age from her father

710
00:43:28.000 --> 00:43:46.000
and then like it came out that like age three and five were again highlighted for me for something very basically the same type of thing I don't know exactly how it played out but the same type of abuse, being pretty major and that my that I had blocked

711
00:43:46.000 --> 00:43:58.000
it out that, you know, they tested and it confirms like, because I was like I can't remember any of this so it's just it's difficult to wrap your head around this being possible when you have no recollection, you know, yeah.

712
00:43:58.000 --> 00:44:11.000
And she's like, you know, basically saying yeah but that you know, then it could test did you know you blocked it out to be able to survive it or maybe you were told you can't tell anyone you knew that you couldn't tell anyone, and you could have made that

713
00:44:11.000 --> 00:44:17.000
decision, it's, you know, I can't move on and be safe unless I block this out.

714
00:44:17.000 --> 00:44:31.000
So I just give you that as an example to say like these things were coming up, and I was hope filled I was not terrified or in terror, the way that I feared that I would be the terror has kind of come.

715
00:44:31.000 --> 00:44:47.000
Not saying that that won't come at all but I pray it doesn't but if it does it does but it's almost like I was in terror over the terror. I was, I was like I'm feeling terror over what could surface and how it could affect me to the point of being terrorized

716
00:44:47.000 --> 00:45:00.000
by the possibility of healing. So I feel like the Lord even through some of these, seeing his that his desire is never for me to go through something that would shatter my life, and that would hurt me.

717
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.040
me and traumatize me and my children and take us back to court and all these things. Like

718
00:45:06.240 --> 00:45:12.160
I didn't know why these things happen with the psych ward. Whereas like, is this mean I'm bad?

719
00:45:12.160 --> 00:45:17.600
Does this mean God needs to use this to heal me? Does this mean, you know what I mean? There's

720
00:45:17.600 --> 00:45:23.680
infinite possibilities of like, does this mean, um, there's so many things. And so I think it's

721
00:45:23.680 --> 00:45:27.920
been, I guess, more of a release of like, not trying to figure out what it means, not trying

722
00:45:27.920 --> 00:45:32.560
to figure out what it's going to look like and fearing the worst, but almost like a release of

723
00:45:32.560 --> 00:45:37.440
feeling like, okay, maybe it's going to be actually, maybe the worst is kind of over.

724
00:45:37.440 --> 00:45:44.160
Like maybe the, the giving into and giving my yes to the Lord and surrendering to this process,

725
00:45:44.160 --> 00:45:48.320
knowing he's with me through, and Jesus is going to come into every scene and every memory. And

726
00:45:48.880 --> 00:45:53.360
you know what I mean? That like, maybe it's actually better than I thought

727
00:45:54.320 --> 00:45:59.600
instead of worse, you know, that things have to get worse or something better than I thought.

728
00:45:59.600 --> 00:46:08.400
What do you mean? Like, like maybe this process is, is instead of being my worst nightmare,

729
00:46:08.400 --> 00:46:14.400
as in like worse than I'm planning on, maybe it's actually him showing like it's, it's actually not

730
00:46:14.400 --> 00:46:18.560
as bad as you thought it would be. It's not, it's better than the healing and to face it.

731
00:46:19.120 --> 00:46:29.120
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I agree. I agree. Uh, our, our worry is almost always worse than the real thing.

732
00:46:29.120 --> 00:46:33.040
When I say almost, cause there's always exceptions to, I don't know, people worrying,

733
00:46:33.040 --> 00:46:38.160
but it's just, it's worse than the real thing. And then you get there and you're like, oh,

734
00:46:38.160 --> 00:46:41.760
well that wasn't as bad as I thought it was. That's not what I thought it was going to be.

735
00:46:41.760 --> 00:46:47.040
Yeah. And that the Lord, remember he always wants it. He always is inviting us into more

736
00:46:47.040 --> 00:46:54.320
love and freedom. So the facing of things, you know, can be challenging and not fun to go through,

737
00:46:55.040 --> 00:47:01.840
but if you're going through them and rest, a lot of their sting is removed. A lot of what makes it

738
00:47:01.840 --> 00:47:10.640
so terrifying or intimidating or makes us afraid we neutralize that before we even go in. And that's

739
00:47:10.640 --> 00:47:15.360
the fact that, oh my goodness, it can come against me. Oh my goodness. It can, I can feel threatened.

740
00:47:15.360 --> 00:47:19.760
I mean, goodness, you know, whatever. And if we neutralize a lot of that, just by shifting into

741
00:47:19.760 --> 00:47:25.440
rest, then it really isn't. That's another way that makes it not as bad to go through.

742
00:47:26.000 --> 00:47:32.160
Um, so it's not in the, um, so our, our lives, you know, are not about the avoidance of going

743
00:47:32.160 --> 00:47:38.080
through pain and, and same thing with lifestyle rest. It's not about avoiding the pain. It's

744
00:47:38.080 --> 00:47:46.640
about getting to go through the pain and rest so that not only is it, um, it brings life to go

745
00:47:46.640 --> 00:47:55.920
through it and it keeps us in bondage if we don't. And so it's not that the pain is life giving.

746
00:47:56.640 --> 00:48:05.200
It's that going through it and rest births and brings life from the spirit into the earth and

747
00:48:05.200 --> 00:48:09.760
into ourselves, into our circumstances, into whatever, and it overcomes the thing that created

748
00:48:09.760 --> 00:48:17.440
the pain. Um, so anyway, yeah, but my point is like, you know, by shifting into rest, it's going,

749
00:48:18.000 --> 00:48:25.280
it, it takes away a lot of the reason why we believe that it's going to be so bad to go

750
00:48:25.280 --> 00:48:30.640
through it. So if we do it and rest and you go through it and you're like, oh, well, I didn't

751
00:48:30.640 --> 00:48:35.440
anything like what I thought it was going to be because you've neutralized the thing that

752
00:48:35.440 --> 00:48:43.360
you were fearing. You've removed the threat that you were fearing before you even went into it.

753
00:48:43.360 --> 00:48:48.880
You removed it. Let me go through it. I don't think I realized that maybe I've been doing that.

754
00:48:48.880 --> 00:48:52.960
Like, I don't know if I I'm so hard on myself that I don't know if I didn't even think I'm,

755
00:48:52.960 --> 00:48:57.840
I'm really operating in rest or that I know how to yet or something like that.

756
00:48:57.840 --> 00:49:03.520
Um, or that I've shifted anyways yet, but I do feel like when you say that, I'm like, oh, well,

757
00:49:04.800 --> 00:49:11.360
I think I have prepped myself with a lot of these truths that are shifting into rest before going

758
00:49:11.360 --> 00:49:18.080
through them. And, and increasingly, you know, through probably the exposure to, you know, to

759
00:49:18.080 --> 00:49:24.400
these, um, new, new ways of looking at things and paradigms and things, and also, you know, hearing

760
00:49:24.400 --> 00:49:28.640
them from you and in the group and things like that. And also in the spirit, like, I think just

761
00:49:29.840 --> 00:49:37.600
the aid, you know, from, from the spiritual realm, you know, to, um, to learn a way that

762
00:49:37.600 --> 00:49:43.920
seems impossible, you know, but I don't know that I recognize throughout all of this, that it was

763
00:49:43.920 --> 00:49:49.680
anything having to do with me shifting in the rest. Yeah. So this is interesting. I'm really

764
00:49:49.680 --> 00:49:55.440
glad that the Lord is bringing this up because as you had been talking earlier and you're like,

765
00:49:55.440 --> 00:49:59.760
well, you know, I just don't think I get it yet. I'm going, what are you talking about? It was like.

766
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.240
You're already living it in so many ways and you know, you've already changed and transformed

767
00:50:04.240 --> 00:50:05.240
so much.

768
00:50:05.240 --> 00:50:10.920
I know that there's just deeper healing that you're wanting and there's more and there's

769
00:50:10.920 --> 00:50:21.800
deeper levels to go into and there's et cetera, but I encourage you to not think that it's

770
00:50:21.800 --> 00:50:27.000
it you're not doing anything until the whole thing is completed.

771
00:50:27.000 --> 00:50:31.760
You're, I mean, like, I mean, wouldn't you, would you say that there's a difference in

772
00:50:31.760 --> 00:50:36.520
who you are and how you approach things, how you approach life, how you approach your circumstances,

773
00:50:36.520 --> 00:50:42.040
how you approach, uh, or like if you're less triggered when certain things happen, et cetera,

774
00:50:42.040 --> 00:50:47.440
then you were like, say two months ago, would you say that there's a difference big time?

775
00:50:47.440 --> 00:50:48.440
Yeah.

776
00:50:48.440 --> 00:50:51.320
That's, that's in a manner of speaking, that's rest.

777
00:50:51.320 --> 00:50:52.600
That's healing.

778
00:50:52.600 --> 00:50:54.760
That's it's evidencing is what I'm trying to say.

779
00:50:54.760 --> 00:50:56.600
It's evidencing healing.

780
00:50:56.600 --> 00:51:01.320
It's evidencing, um, you know, that you shifted more into rest and what is rest.

781
00:51:01.320 --> 00:51:06.160
It's simply abiding in God because you have faith that he is who he says he is.

782
00:51:06.160 --> 00:51:11.720
So it's, so the more that you've actually believed that God was good and the more that

783
00:51:11.720 --> 00:51:16.280
you've actually believed what it is that he's saying about you, the more that you're at,

784
00:51:16.280 --> 00:51:18.000
that is what rest is.

785
00:51:18.000 --> 00:51:21.120
That's where, I mean, that puts you in that place of rest.

786
00:51:21.120 --> 00:51:27.160
You being there, you know, and, and then it's then now you living from that place,

787
00:51:27.160 --> 00:51:32.140
you choosing that that's your reality now makes you less triggered.

788
00:51:32.140 --> 00:51:37.600
It now makes you approach things and respond to things and perceive things in a different

789
00:51:37.600 --> 00:51:38.640
way.

790
00:51:38.640 --> 00:51:43.600
You still have more to go, but it doesn't mean you haven't, you haven't been already

791
00:51:43.600 --> 00:51:45.440
doing it.

792
00:51:45.440 --> 00:51:51.640
And there's just a lot that in your situation has to be overcome because you've inherited

793
00:51:51.640 --> 00:51:57.760
a lot from your, from your parents, from your ancestors, let alone your own life circumstances.

794
00:51:57.760 --> 00:52:05.480
I mean, you were born having inherited things that you hadn't experienced and that you hadn't

795
00:52:05.480 --> 00:52:07.280
made any choices about.

796
00:52:07.280 --> 00:52:13.040
This is long before you were born having inherited those things in your DNA, your parents' decisions,

797
00:52:13.040 --> 00:52:16.680
the things that happened to them, the things that they didn't decide and that, and that

798
00:52:16.680 --> 00:52:23.080
were forced on them, you know, you inherited that when you were born before you even knew

799
00:52:23.080 --> 00:52:27.600
what right and wrong was before you even had an idea of like how to actually make a choice

800
00:52:27.600 --> 00:52:32.040
to lift your arm or reach out and get a, grab a toy.

801
00:52:32.040 --> 00:52:39.600
You had that in you, you, and, and it's so anyway, the thing is you just, you just have

802
00:52:39.600 --> 00:52:41.320
a lot to overcome.

803
00:52:41.320 --> 00:52:42.320
We all do.

804
00:52:42.320 --> 00:52:46.240
And in your choosing to do that.

805
00:52:46.240 --> 00:52:53.080
And so I just see, and I've seen you so much, and I'm always so surprised when I hear your,

806
00:52:53.080 --> 00:52:58.240
I guess yourself, your self-doubt, your concern that, oh, I, you know, I still have so far

807
00:52:58.240 --> 00:53:03.800
to go and whatever, and sure there's more healing, there's more whatever, but I think

808
00:53:03.800 --> 00:53:07.880
I've been surprised that it sounds like there's not an acknowledgement.

809
00:53:07.880 --> 00:53:13.600
In other words, an understanding that you already are doing it.

810
00:53:13.600 --> 00:53:15.080
You just keep going.

811
00:53:15.080 --> 00:53:16.080
You just, okay.

812
00:53:16.080 --> 00:53:19.040
So how do I apply what it is that I've done to get to this point?

813
00:53:19.040 --> 00:53:23.760
How do I apply it to the, to the fact that I'm running into resistance at this point?

814
00:53:23.760 --> 00:53:24.760
How do I move?

815
00:53:24.760 --> 00:53:27.600
How do I apply those same principles to move past the resistance here?

816
00:53:27.600 --> 00:53:30.840
Cause I moved past it here and then I moved past it here.

817
00:53:30.840 --> 00:53:32.720
So now how do I move past it here?

818
00:53:32.720 --> 00:53:33.720
You know?

819
00:53:33.720 --> 00:53:34.720
So it's just the continued stuff.

820
00:53:34.720 --> 00:53:38.040
You know, you're, you're doing it and that's how I've always seen it.

821
00:53:38.040 --> 00:53:42.600
So I'm glad that we're having this discussion because it's helping me understand, oh, this

822
00:53:42.600 --> 00:53:44.800
is where she, why she's talking like that.

823
00:53:44.800 --> 00:53:54.200
Cause I'm like, I'm like, I see her as like the success already, you know, that's so awesome.

824
00:53:54.200 --> 00:53:55.200
Yeah.

825
00:53:55.200 --> 00:53:56.200
Got it.

826
00:53:56.200 --> 00:53:58.600
Potential success already done it.

827
00:53:58.600 --> 00:54:02.040
You've already done it.

828
00:54:02.040 --> 00:54:03.120
You've already succeeded.

829
00:54:03.120 --> 00:54:04.120
You've already crossed.

830
00:54:04.520 --> 00:54:05.520
You've already done it.

831
00:54:05.520 --> 00:54:06.840
You're already shifting to rest.

832
00:54:06.840 --> 00:54:09.760
Remember you shifted into rest before you ever joined the rest intensive because you're

833
00:54:09.760 --> 00:54:11.480
already there.

834
00:54:11.480 --> 00:54:16.200
It's just choosing more and more that that is your reality.

835
00:54:16.200 --> 00:54:21.720
So you actually get to experience more of it into your life experience, you know, but

836
00:54:21.720 --> 00:54:23.240
you're already there.

837
00:54:23.240 --> 00:54:26.120
You know, the rest of it, it doesn't give you anything.

838
00:54:26.120 --> 00:54:28.120
It's just giving you the courage.

839
00:54:28.120 --> 00:54:32.800
I don't think I knew I was there before, before this.

840
00:54:32.800 --> 00:54:39.440
Like I can see the increase of realizing and declaring and choosing and, you know,

841
00:54:39.440 --> 00:54:41.440
but I wasn't giving myself any credit for that.

842
00:54:41.440 --> 00:54:45.840
Like in a sense, I guess I told one of the rest groups, you know, I shared how I had

843
00:54:45.840 --> 00:54:51.600
chosen, you know, to use the tools, you know, on the way to get my girls with my husband

844
00:54:51.600 --> 00:54:55.400
in the car and just in a situation where I had chosen like, okay, this is, we're going

845
00:54:55.400 --> 00:54:58.520
to, you know, shift right now into this.

846
00:54:58.520 --> 00:54:59.520
This trust.

847
00:54:59.520 --> 00:54:59.520


848
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.120
Right. But overall, I haven't really, and it's funny, because like, I'm like tearing up sitting

849
00:55:05.120 --> 00:55:09.920
here because I'm like, Oh my gosh, like, I don't think I realized how much I blame myself. And when

850
00:55:09.920 --> 00:55:14.400
the session happened yesterday with Jolene, who's the RSM gal, she's out in California.

851
00:55:15.120 --> 00:55:20.560
She's like, talking about like, it's coming up that through these perpetrators into these things

852
00:55:20.560 --> 00:55:27.280
that happened that I believed I was, I deserve that that was my fault. And then we started to

853
00:55:27.280 --> 00:55:30.720
see how connecting and then Nick, you know, he's there for the sessions because he's doing the

854
00:55:30.720 --> 00:55:34.800
testing. So he's like, well, didn't you talk about this on Christmas and tell her about, you know,

855
00:55:35.440 --> 00:55:40.400
like, Oh, well, yeah. And I ended up telling her how I woke up from a nap on Christmas afternoon

856
00:55:40.400 --> 00:55:45.440
and I was hardly even awake and I was instantly triggered. And I said to Nick, I feel like I'm

857
00:55:45.440 --> 00:55:50.000
not good enough, like that you're mad at me. And like, it was just out of like, out of nowhere,

858
00:55:50.000 --> 00:55:54.160
seemingly, and we ended up walking through this trigger. And it was basically the trigger from

859
00:55:54.160 --> 00:55:59.280
exactly seven years prior when my husband had taken my Christmas gift and hidden it from me for

860
00:55:59.280 --> 00:56:03.760
weeks in the attic. Cause I wasn't good enough. I didn't deserve it. You know, all these things,

861
00:56:03.760 --> 00:56:08.480
I had the flu with my baby and he was forcing me to come to Christmas at the in-laws. And

862
00:56:08.480 --> 00:56:12.320
it was just this, like, you're not doing enough. You don't clean the house enough. You're not this.

863
00:56:12.320 --> 00:56:17.760
And then it just brought back that DNA, like what you're describing, realizing that I didn't even

864
00:56:17.760 --> 00:56:24.480
know until recently there was such thing as ancestor generational trauma or curses or anything

865
00:56:24.480 --> 00:56:28.000
like that. And so I just thought all this time that I'm just not good enough. Like, I'm just

866
00:56:28.000 --> 00:56:32.720
not doing enough. I'm not good enough. And so it's like coming out that that's just been such a lie

867
00:56:32.720 --> 00:56:38.640
that, you know, and it's like a relief to see it showing up in a way that's redemptive over and

868
00:56:38.640 --> 00:56:45.760
over lately where it's like, okay, this is, this is on its way out. Like this is not, it's not coming

869
00:56:45.760 --> 00:56:50.160
up because I'm being condemned. It's coming up as like a, whoa, like, where's this coming from?

870
00:56:50.160 --> 00:56:55.680
Because that's not how anybody feels. And that's not how God feels about you. And I'm like, oh,

871
00:56:55.680 --> 00:57:00.800
wow. I never even saw that. I had been condemning myself. I knew I was hard on myself, but I didn't

872
00:57:00.800 --> 00:57:07.360
know how far back it went and how much I had chosen a belief system that said, I'm not doing

873
00:57:07.360 --> 00:57:12.640
enough. I don't get it yet. If I just do more, people will love me more. If I just do more,

874
00:57:12.640 --> 00:57:18.080
I'll reach the certain place, you know what I'm saying? And so it makes a lot of sense,

875
00:57:18.080 --> 00:57:24.800
but yeah, that I don't, it's funny because now it's like, I'm doing it with the Lord's help and

876
00:57:24.800 --> 00:57:30.480
like the partnership with him. And then it's like, it's just happening. And then I get to wake up to

877
00:57:30.480 --> 00:57:37.200
that, that, that it's happening, that there's not more to go. And I don't have to feel more

878
00:57:37.200 --> 00:57:43.200
condemnation. In fact, it's like opposite where it's like, oh, like, here's a gift. Like you

879
00:57:43.200 --> 00:57:52.640
actually, like we overcharged you and here's some money back. Yeah. You already have it. You have

880
00:57:52.640 --> 00:58:00.240
permission to step into it, into the fullness, into your identity, into, into, like I said,

881
00:58:00.240 --> 00:58:08.640
I think I just already said into your wholeness, into being, being enough into being perfect into

882
00:58:08.640 --> 00:58:13.440
having not ever sinned. Cause remember your spirit hasn't. And we really do have to believe

883
00:58:13.440 --> 00:58:17.280
and choose that that's actually true. It can't be a, oh, wouldn't that be nice. If that won't

884
00:58:17.280 --> 00:58:22.720
change our lives, we actually have to choose that that is a reality. And then, you know,

885
00:58:22.720 --> 00:58:27.680
that you're perfect and there's nothing wrong with you and, you know, and, and you have,

886
00:58:27.680 --> 00:58:35.360
and we have to choose that that is who we actually are, that what God said really is true,

887
00:58:35.360 --> 00:58:42.000
that he's not a liar. And then we actually get permit. We have permission to step into it now.

888
00:58:42.560 --> 00:58:48.080
In other words, you don't have to learn about it. You don't have to understand why it's true.

889
00:58:48.080 --> 00:58:52.800
You don't have to make payment and restitution emotionally for not having believed it up until

890
00:58:52.800 --> 00:58:58.560
now, or for having, you know, or have for having done the things that you've done and for, for

891
00:58:58.560 --> 00:59:02.800
believing the law of restitution for the lies that you've already believed in telling God,

892
00:59:02.800 --> 00:59:07.840
you're sorry, whatever. He's just like, I don't want, sorry. I want you to just,

893
00:59:08.720 --> 00:59:15.680
to just step into it. That's what repentance is. It's not feeling really bad and making emotional

894
00:59:15.680 --> 00:59:21.680
payment to God for having been making, let me do it this way for having made these choices.

895
00:59:22.560 --> 00:59:29.040
God's just like, no, no, no. Repentance is stopping immediately. And now choosing this,

896
00:59:29.040 --> 00:59:37.600
you don't have to fix this first to now be whole enough to step into this. You get permission to

897
00:59:37.600 --> 00:59:46.080
step into it now by simply abandoning this, like there's no fixing it. There's no tying a bow on

898
00:59:46.080 --> 00:59:51.920
it. There's no making sure it's okay. Abandon the dad gun thing and then turn and choose the Lord.

899
00:59:52.720 --> 00:59:57.440
Now, when I say that, I don't mean like you don't need to heal and process things, whatever. I'm

900
00:59:57.440 --> 00:59:59.840
just talking from a certain perspective, you know, just certain like.

901
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.640
broad brushstrokes, abandon who it is that you thought that you were, that you thought that I

902
01:00:04.640 --> 01:00:09.040
wasn't, you know, that you're not good enough, that you haven't been working hard enough that

903
01:00:09.040 --> 01:00:12.960
you haven't like done it right. That you haven't processed it enough that you haven't healed enough

904
01:00:12.960 --> 01:00:16.240
to this point or whatever. I'm trying to think of like, well, what kind of things would you be

905
01:00:16.240 --> 01:00:20.400
saying in your head, whatever it is, you know, or why did I get this way in the first place?

906
01:00:20.400 --> 01:00:24.480
Why did I make the choices that I did? Why couldn't I get over it before now? I don't know,

907
01:00:24.480 --> 01:00:32.240
whatever, you know, you just, you stop viewing yourself like that and choosing that that is you.

908
01:00:32.240 --> 01:00:40.880
And you start choosing that you are someone that doesn't have this at all. And then how would this

909
01:00:40.880 --> 01:00:45.600
person live? How would this person get up every morning? You have the right to do that. People

910
01:00:45.600 --> 01:00:52.960
don't give us the right to do that. They require us to still live like this and for them to see

911
01:00:52.960 --> 01:01:01.440
progress of shame and guilt to pay, to get the right to step away from it in their minds and

912
01:01:01.440 --> 01:01:08.320
in their reputation and their idea of our reputation in their eyes. And God's like, no,

913
01:01:08.320 --> 01:01:15.920
abandon it and step into this. We have a difficult time doing it because we don't believe, because

914
01:01:15.920 --> 01:01:21.120
we're used to people not giving us that permission because they don't trust. They don't trust that

915
01:01:21.120 --> 01:01:28.320
it's genuine, that it's real, that we really have changed. They need to see like guilt and shame

916
01:01:28.320 --> 01:01:38.560
and feeling bad and making payment before we have the right to be seen as pure, as holy, as

917
01:01:38.560 --> 01:01:47.200
trustworthy in their eyes. With God, it's the opposite. And for God, it's exactly the opposite.

918
01:01:47.200 --> 01:01:55.040
He said, abandon it. Don't even try to, don't try to emotionally make payment for it to the Lord.

919
01:01:55.680 --> 01:02:03.680
Don't consider it. Don't reconcile it. Nothing. He said, I just want you to abandon it because it's

920
01:02:03.680 --> 01:02:09.920
a lie. You can't fix a lie. So just there's no, there's no doing for it. So you just like choose

921
01:02:09.920 --> 01:02:15.280
this. So as I, as you were talking earlier, one of the things that kept coming to mind is one of the,

922
01:02:15.280 --> 01:02:22.480
is just kind of like a reiteration of what we've talked about, where I encourage you to choose you.

923
01:02:23.760 --> 01:02:29.520
So think about the fact that we all love to be chosen, especially as women. But women, I think,

924
01:02:29.520 --> 01:02:37.040
just highlight the fact that in like, kind of like a, a more condensed version and more, like I said,

925
01:02:37.040 --> 01:02:42.480
highlighted version that people just want to be chosen. Everybody just wants to be chosen. Even

926
01:02:42.480 --> 01:02:45.840
men, you know, we all, you know, we all want to be chosen by the Lord. We want to be significant.

927
01:02:45.840 --> 01:02:52.800
We want to be, we want someone to have a choice and for us to be the choice, you know? Yeah. And

928
01:02:52.800 --> 01:02:59.360
so you choose you think about the fact that you've wanted to be chosen. You wanted to be chosen by

929
01:02:59.360 --> 01:03:04.160
your parents. You wanted to be chosen by, you know, your ex-husband, you know, obviously you wanted to

930
01:03:04.160 --> 01:03:09.200
be chosen by Nick, you know, you chose you and you wanted to be chosen by, I mean, like you want your,

931
01:03:09.200 --> 01:03:13.680
your girls to choose you for you, not because they have to, well, she's my mom, you know,

932
01:03:13.680 --> 01:03:18.080
it's what I was given and you want them to choose you. You want them to choose you for them. You

933
01:03:18.080 --> 01:03:23.360
want your friends to choose you, you know, but no one has been able to choose you, just your

934
01:03:23.360 --> 01:03:28.880
satisfaction. In other words, the satisfaction of what your soul longs for, you need to choose you.

935
01:03:30.480 --> 01:03:38.240
You need to know I really am that significant. And I choose me. I don't feel that significant.

936
01:03:38.240 --> 01:03:45.920
I don't believe that I am. It doesn't seem logical, but if God says that you're that valuable,

937
01:03:46.800 --> 01:03:54.000
choose you as a being, choose you as a person, choose that, that is something that you, that you

938
01:03:54.000 --> 01:04:06.080
are something God has entrusted you with. So take that, you know, be what you've always wanted

939
01:04:06.080 --> 01:04:14.320
someone else to be for you. Don't abandon you choose you choose you as your highest priority.

940
01:04:14.320 --> 01:04:19.520
And no, I'm not talking about anything like weird and like selfish and selfishness. I'm not talking

941
01:04:19.520 --> 01:04:25.360
about that, but choose you and who, and, and this, and the significance that God has placed on you

942
01:04:25.360 --> 01:04:30.400
and the pricelessness that you have, just like every other person has the pricelessness that you

943
01:04:30.400 --> 01:04:38.240
have choose to be responsible to the Lord for that. Meaning like, you know, he's entrusted you

944
01:04:38.240 --> 01:04:49.600
to be, to be for you, what you need. So don't abandon you to the environment. Like in other

945
01:04:49.600 --> 01:04:57.600
words, the emotional environment of this world and your circumstances choose you protect you

946
01:04:57.600 --> 01:05:00.240
like emotionally be a safe place for you.

947
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:11.280
And, and that all comes in like, in like seeing yourself as valuable and significant, even

948
01:05:11.280 --> 01:05:14.880
by seeing, I don't mean like, it's going to make sense to you.

949
01:05:14.880 --> 01:05:20.840
You know, I just mean you choose it with intentionality because God said, you're like, okay, then

950
01:05:20.840 --> 01:05:25.260
this is my reality blindly where there is no evidence.

951
01:05:25.260 --> 01:05:31.540
There is no support for this other than the fact that God said, choose it from that point.

952
01:05:31.540 --> 01:05:35.820
That's when I, what I say, when I mean, that's what I mean when I say, see, I don't mean

953
01:05:35.820 --> 01:05:39.060
that you actually like are seeing this and then it sounds logical to you.

954
01:05:39.060 --> 01:05:44.740
I'm just saying, you know, you know, choose that you have that value and that significance

955
01:05:44.740 --> 01:05:49.340
and then live the out that value and significance.

956
01:05:49.340 --> 01:05:54.540
If you were that valuable and you were that significant, what decisions would you make?

957
01:05:54.540 --> 01:05:56.500
Would you go to the grocery store right now?

958
01:05:56.500 --> 01:05:58.100
If you did, what would you buy?

959
01:05:58.100 --> 01:06:03.060
If you were that valuable and you were that significant and you choose that you are, in

960
01:06:03.060 --> 01:06:05.700
other words, how would you live?

961
01:06:05.700 --> 01:06:07.780
Would you go do dishes right now?

962
01:06:07.780 --> 01:06:11.620
Or would you sit and watch Netflix or would you go make the bed?

963
01:06:11.620 --> 01:06:16.580
I'm just making stuff up, you know, or would you, uh, I don't know, go phone, call a friend

964
01:06:16.580 --> 01:06:18.780
or would you take a nap?

965
01:06:18.780 --> 01:06:23.820
If you valued you not, Oh, you know, you feel sorry for you.

966
01:06:23.820 --> 01:06:26.940
No, you have value.

967
01:06:26.940 --> 01:06:27.940
You have significance.

968
01:06:27.940 --> 01:06:29.100
You have weight.

969
01:06:29.100 --> 01:06:31.380
You mean something.

970
01:06:31.380 --> 01:06:37.420
You are the thing that God entrusted to you more than he entrusted your husband more than

971
01:06:37.420 --> 01:06:38.900
he entrusted your children.

972
01:06:38.900 --> 01:06:45.660
He entrusted you more with you than with anyone else.

973
01:06:45.660 --> 01:06:50.740
So be for you, what you've always wanted someone else to be for you.

974
01:06:50.740 --> 01:06:54.300
Um, and, uh, and then start living from that place.

975
01:06:54.300 --> 01:06:56.620
That is a place of more freedom.

976
01:06:56.620 --> 01:07:02.060
And the reason I got into all that is to give you kind of like a foundation from which to

977
01:07:02.060 --> 01:07:04.820
be able to abandon this and choose this.

978
01:07:04.820 --> 01:07:07.220
It's like, well, what are you choosing here?

979
01:07:07.220 --> 01:07:12.900
You're choosing that you're choosing you, you're choosing to, you know, be entrusted

980
01:07:12.900 --> 01:07:18.340
by God, you know, with yourself and, and, and choose that you're valuable and that you're

981
01:07:18.340 --> 01:07:20.380
significant and et cetera.

982
01:07:20.380 --> 01:07:27.860
Um, so anyway, that was just something that I was seeing and, uh, and then also one of

983
01:07:27.860 --> 01:07:33.020
the reasons I was thinking of it is when you were talking about, um, the, what were you

984
01:07:33.020 --> 01:07:34.020
talking about?

985
01:07:35.020 --> 01:07:36.020
That was important.

986
01:07:36.020 --> 01:07:43.620
Um, you were talking about the lawsuit, but, or, you know, in the hearing, um, and, um,

987
01:07:43.620 --> 01:07:45.620
oh, okay.

988
01:07:45.620 --> 01:07:46.620
It's coming back.

989
01:07:46.620 --> 01:07:47.700
What was it?

990
01:07:47.700 --> 01:07:53.100
It was something about you struggling, you struggling with something.

991
01:07:53.100 --> 01:07:54.100
Oh man.

992
01:07:54.100 --> 01:07:55.100
What was it?

993
01:07:55.100 --> 01:07:56.100
Oh, that's what it was.

994
01:07:56.100 --> 01:07:57.100
Okay.

995
01:07:57.100 --> 01:07:58.180
So this is a really, really heavy, serious thing.

996
01:07:58.180 --> 01:08:02.340
You've heard me say it many times to people, but I'm just saying it in your situation.

997
01:08:02.340 --> 01:08:03.540
Okay.

998
01:08:04.060 --> 01:08:11.500
Remember that the, the, um, the fastest way to get through something, remember we all,

999
01:08:11.500 --> 01:08:13.060
we have to let go, right?

1000
01:08:13.060 --> 01:08:17.100
So what degree more could you let go in this situation?

1001
01:08:17.100 --> 01:08:22.540
You know, you're healing, uh, while you're going through this hearing and then all of

1002
01:08:22.540 --> 01:08:26.819
the stuff that's coming up with that, all the, all the, um, the, uh, law, the books

1003
01:08:26.819 --> 01:08:36.500
that are being thrown at you and whatever, um, uh, is, uh, trying to, sorry, think about

1004
01:08:36.500 --> 01:08:47.180
how to articulate this is you want to let go of, oh, that's what it was.

1005
01:08:47.180 --> 01:08:48.180
That's what it was.

1006
01:08:48.180 --> 01:08:51.899
This is how this all came to mind is you were talking about being, being, feeling like you

1007
01:08:51.899 --> 01:08:54.819
hadn't progressed enough that, oh, actually I haven't shifted to rest.

1008
01:08:54.819 --> 01:08:56.060
You know, I feel like I'm so close.

1009
01:08:56.300 --> 01:08:57.300
I feel like I'm there and whatever.

1010
01:08:57.300 --> 01:09:01.500
And I'm like, well, no, you, you are understanding it to particular degrees and you're implementing

1011
01:09:01.500 --> 01:09:04.540
it to the degrees that you understand it.

1012
01:09:04.540 --> 01:09:07.660
And you're like, yeah, but you would wanted the deeper stuff.

1013
01:09:07.660 --> 01:09:11.819
And so it's like, okay, what's the, what's the hindrance and what's the kind of like,

1014
01:09:11.819 --> 01:09:14.260
uh, the where's the resistance to that.

1015
01:09:14.260 --> 01:09:23.580
And one of the things I was, uh, that I was sensing was that you need to give up.

1016
01:09:23.580 --> 01:09:26.260
It ever happening.

1017
01:09:26.260 --> 01:09:27.260
So here's the thing.

1018
01:09:27.260 --> 01:09:33.939
I mean, and I mean, everything, I mean, the healing, I mean, lawsuit stuff, the stuff

1019
01:09:33.939 --> 01:09:35.979
with your, with your kids, whatever.

1020
01:09:35.979 --> 01:09:39.540
And by that, I don't mean it's not going to happen and that you're, you're giving up hope.

1021
01:09:39.540 --> 01:09:40.939
I don't mean that.

1022
01:09:40.939 --> 01:09:46.500
I mean, you emotionally let it go and stop whole emotionally holding God accountable

1023
01:09:46.500 --> 01:09:47.500
for it.

1024
01:09:48.500 --> 01:09:56.380
So just allowing it to be it and not always looking for the, uh, the, uh, the finish line.

1025
01:09:56.380 --> 01:09:57.820
That's another way to word it.

1026
01:09:57.820 --> 01:09:59.860
Stop looking for the, at the finish line for that.

1027
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:06.320
So that what you're choosing instead is instead of always look, instead of choosing the finish

1028
01:10:06.320 --> 01:10:13.040
line as being the important thing in your life, choose you and what it is that you are

1029
01:10:13.040 --> 01:10:18.800
seeing and it choose, choose God is what you're doing, but you know, by extension, what he

1030
01:10:18.800 --> 01:10:28.620
says about you, you choose God and you choose your relationship with him and how every moment

1031
01:10:28.620 --> 01:10:33.560
of every day, what are God, who is God right now to me?

1032
01:10:33.560 --> 01:10:36.340
And how are we, how are we living this moment?

1033
01:10:36.340 --> 01:10:38.720
How are we sitting here watching Netflix?

1034
01:10:38.720 --> 01:10:41.080
How are we making a decision?

1035
01:10:41.080 --> 01:10:43.180
How are we doing the dishes?

1036
01:10:43.180 --> 01:10:52.420
It's just, it's just you and God and that being the highest priority and value and to

1037
01:10:52.420 --> 01:10:56.660
you in your life, not this end.

1038
01:10:56.660 --> 01:11:02.300
And for, and release is emotionally release the, the, the, uh, finish line where that's

1039
01:11:02.300 --> 01:11:04.740
not your highest priority anymore.

1040
01:11:04.740 --> 01:11:12.820
And this is because that will start releasing the resistance that is causing so much pain

1041
01:11:12.820 --> 01:11:20.740
and that I believe is possibly even slowing down the process.

1042
01:11:20.740 --> 01:11:25.500
And I, and I, because it, because again, I believe that there's an amount of resistance

1043
01:11:25.500 --> 01:11:29.540
there of like the finish line is more important than you and God.

1044
01:11:29.540 --> 01:11:35.420
And what my point is that the way that I saw it, the way that I, it came to mind is I thought

1045
01:11:35.420 --> 01:11:40.540
it's like, you're seeing the glasses half empty instead of half full.

1046
01:11:40.540 --> 01:11:42.540
And so is the glass half empty?

1047
01:11:42.540 --> 01:11:43.540
Yes.

1048
01:11:43.540 --> 01:11:47.540
But is that what you're going to focus on or are you going to focus on this?

1049
01:11:47.540 --> 01:11:51.020
And it's not, and it's more than just this, Oh, you need to have a positive mindset.

1050
01:11:51.020 --> 01:11:52.100
No, no, no, no.

1051
01:11:52.100 --> 01:11:54.340
This is what fixes it.

1052
01:11:54.340 --> 01:11:59.860
This is what, it's not the focusing on glasses half empty as being the thing that finally

1053
01:11:59.860 --> 01:12:01.820
fills the glass up.

1054
01:12:01.820 --> 01:12:03.500
You know that that's not going to work.

1055
01:12:03.500 --> 01:12:05.380
It's like, Oh, well you need to see the lack.

1056
01:12:05.380 --> 01:12:06.380
So we know that it's there.

1057
01:12:06.380 --> 01:12:07.740
So we know to fix it.

1058
01:12:07.740 --> 01:12:11.740
That will not help unless you do with it with a lot of sweat, a lot of striving, a lot of

1059
01:12:11.740 --> 01:12:15.540
tears and so somebody wants to live a life like that.

1060
01:12:15.540 --> 01:12:16.540
That's fine.

1061
01:12:16.540 --> 01:12:17.540
You can do it in rest.

1062
01:12:17.540 --> 01:12:26.580
So, so to do it in rest, if you focusing on you and the Lord that will help you move through

1063
01:12:26.580 --> 01:12:32.380
this time so that to get to the finish line, but you're now doing it through a different

1064
01:12:32.380 --> 01:12:33.380
perspective.

1065
01:12:33.380 --> 01:12:35.220
So either way you're on a journey to the finish line.

1066
01:12:35.220 --> 01:12:40.100
It's not like, Oh, well by emotionally releasing the finish line now, God's like, Oh, okay.

1067
01:12:40.100 --> 01:12:42.780
Well then I guess it doesn't matter to her so much anymore.

1068
01:12:42.780 --> 01:12:43.780
Okay.

1069
01:12:44.100 --> 01:12:46.700
I'm just going to let her have to deal with this forever.

1070
01:12:46.700 --> 01:12:48.220
No, no, no.

1071
01:12:48.220 --> 01:12:50.060
You're just emotionally releasing God from it.

1072
01:12:50.060 --> 01:12:52.660
You're like, no God, this is more important to me.

1073
01:12:52.660 --> 01:12:58.580
So while you're working on this Lord, you and I are, are I'm focusing on my priority

1074
01:12:58.580 --> 01:13:02.380
as being who you are and who I am.

1075
01:13:02.380 --> 01:13:06.660
And then I approach every action that I make, every decision that I make, every action that

1076
01:13:06.660 --> 01:13:09.500
I take, every decision that I make, you know what I do when I get up, you remember how

1077
01:13:09.500 --> 01:13:13.820
I talked about, like you get it up every day, you know, decide, okay, I am me.

1078
01:13:13.820 --> 01:13:15.980
And how do I offensively want to live my life?

1079
01:13:15.980 --> 01:13:17.540
How do I want to, what do I want to create?

1080
01:13:17.540 --> 01:13:18.820
What do I want to do?

1081
01:13:18.820 --> 01:13:22.420
Not what's going to happen to me or what's the potential and how do I need to be ready

1082
01:13:22.420 --> 01:13:24.940
to respond you offensively?

1083
01:13:24.940 --> 01:13:25.940
What do you want to do?

1084
01:13:25.940 --> 01:13:28.900
And if someone makes the demand of you, do you want to do that or not?

1085
01:13:28.900 --> 01:13:30.220
You get to decide.

1086
01:13:30.220 --> 01:13:31.220
And that's not selfish.

1087
01:13:31.220 --> 01:13:34.980
Cause that's the other thing that will come at me is like, well, if I get up and I just

1088
01:13:34.980 --> 01:13:38.940
want to do what I want to do, is it somehow selfish?

1089
01:13:39.380 --> 01:13:45.700
No, because remember what you're choosing is you're choosing who God says that you are

1090
01:13:45.700 --> 01:13:48.620
not self-protection.

1091
01:13:48.620 --> 01:13:52.140
You're choosing that you're safe with God and being safe with God.

1092
01:13:52.140 --> 01:13:54.340
What do you want to do?

1093
01:13:54.340 --> 01:13:56.020
Like you, people have it.

1094
01:13:56.020 --> 01:14:04.380
You will live more from a powerful, a powerful position.

1095
01:14:04.380 --> 01:14:06.140
You'll accomplish more.

1096
01:14:06.140 --> 01:14:07.940
You'll have more energy to do things.

1097
01:14:07.940 --> 01:14:11.180
You'll have more energy to do things in the house, do more and have more energy to have

1098
01:14:11.180 --> 01:14:13.740
a checklist and like check things off.

1099
01:14:13.740 --> 01:14:19.100
If you're living life because you want to live it because this is what I want to do.

1100
01:14:19.100 --> 01:14:20.900
Not because, Oh, well we're out of food.

1101
01:14:20.900 --> 01:14:22.220
So I have to go to the grocery store.

1102
01:14:22.220 --> 01:14:23.780
No, you don't.

1103
01:14:23.780 --> 01:14:28.500
You absolutely do not have to go to the grocery store, but you don't have food.

1104
01:14:28.500 --> 01:14:31.060
So if you don't have food, how do you want to live?

1105
01:14:31.060 --> 01:14:32.580
Well, I want food tonight.

1106
01:14:32.580 --> 01:14:34.940
So I want to go to the grocery store.

1107
01:14:35.940 --> 01:14:40.540
You see, you see how it's just kind of like, what do you want?

1108
01:14:40.540 --> 01:14:41.940
What kind of a life do you want to have?

1109
01:14:41.940 --> 01:14:44.860
As opposed to, well, why am I, why is my life like this?

1110
01:14:44.860 --> 01:14:45.900
No, no, no.

1111
01:14:45.900 --> 01:14:48.540
What, what, how, what kind of a life do you want to give yourself?

1112
01:14:48.540 --> 01:14:50.700
What kind of life do you want to have?

1113
01:14:50.700 --> 01:14:54.500
Like me, for instance, having order and cleanliness is very important to me.

1114
01:14:54.500 --> 01:14:59.980
So I do whatever I need to do in order to have those things, but I do it not because.

1115
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.280
I feel like someone's breathing down my neck or whatever I do it because I'm like, this

1116
01:15:03.280 --> 01:15:06.560
is the life I want to do for myself.

1117
01:15:06.560 --> 01:15:07.840
This is the life I want to create.

1118
01:15:07.840 --> 01:15:10.480
This is the environment I want to create.

1119
01:15:10.480 --> 01:15:16.680
And um, and so whenever I feel pressured to do it, I don't do it because I'm like, uh,

1120
01:15:16.680 --> 01:15:20.920
not if I'm feeling pressure, like I have to, and then I switch it to know, what do I want

1121
01:15:20.920 --> 01:15:21.920
for me?

1122
01:15:21.920 --> 01:15:23.700
I want to clean kitchen.

1123
01:15:23.700 --> 01:15:27.440
So I'm going to get up, stop Netflix or whatever it is I'm doing.

1124
01:15:27.440 --> 01:15:29.520
And I'm going to go clean the kitchen.

1125
01:15:29.520 --> 01:15:30.520
Right?

1126
01:15:30.520 --> 01:15:34.880
Because I want my kitchen to be in order.

1127
01:15:34.880 --> 01:15:38.520
So I'm going to instruct the material.

1128
01:15:38.520 --> 01:15:39.520
Like I literally do this.

1129
01:15:39.520 --> 01:15:40.520
I start the material.

1130
01:15:40.520 --> 01:15:41.640
This is what I want from you.

1131
01:15:41.640 --> 01:15:43.180
This is what I expect from you.

1132
01:15:43.180 --> 01:15:47.560
And we're going to go into order because I rule my home.

1133
01:15:47.560 --> 01:15:49.160
So it's that kind of a thing.

1134
01:15:49.160 --> 01:15:53.840
So anyway, it's, my point is that if you remember, if you, if you approach life from the fact

1135
01:15:53.840 --> 01:15:59.480
that you are who God says that you are, you're not likely to go into self-protection mode,

1136
01:16:00.440 --> 01:16:01.440
which is selfish.

1137
01:16:01.440 --> 01:16:02.440
It's not selfish.

1138
01:16:02.440 --> 01:16:08.720
It it's self-protection mode is, uh, if you're in self-protection mode, then you have a tendency

1139
01:16:08.720 --> 01:16:16.920
to not you personally, but people, you know, have a tendency to, um, focus on what they

1140
01:16:16.920 --> 01:16:20.080
want that will make them feel better.

1141
01:16:20.080 --> 01:16:22.640
And it usually comes at the expense.

1142
01:16:22.640 --> 01:16:29.280
In other words, the payment of either yourself tomorrow.

1143
01:16:30.080 --> 01:16:31.080
Like if you don't do something today, you're going to have to do it tomorrow.

1144
01:16:31.080 --> 01:16:33.400
And it's going to be harder tomorrow than today.

1145
01:16:33.400 --> 01:16:39.760
So either it's going to require payment of you, or so you're always your own enemy, or

1146
01:16:39.760 --> 01:16:46.360
it's going to cost something for someone else because you're being selfish and doing it

1147
01:16:46.360 --> 01:16:47.440
for you.

1148
01:16:47.440 --> 01:16:51.600
And therefore someone else doesn't get something that you feel guilty that you should have

1149
01:16:51.600 --> 01:16:52.600
done.

1150
01:16:52.600 --> 01:16:57.880
That's out of self-protection mode, but if you're doing things from no, I I'm perfectly,

1151
01:16:57.880 --> 01:16:59.560
I'm perfectly safe.

1152
01:16:59.560 --> 01:17:04.440
You know, I am who God says that I am, you know, I'm, uh, he's, he's provider.

1153
01:17:04.440 --> 01:17:05.440
He's protector.

1154
01:17:05.440 --> 01:17:06.440
He's love.

1155
01:17:06.440 --> 01:17:07.440
I'm fully loved.

1156
01:17:07.440 --> 01:17:08.440
I'm fully accepted.

1157
01:17:08.440 --> 01:17:10.000
In other words, I have everything.

1158
01:17:10.000 --> 01:17:14.280
Netflix can't give me anything anymore resting all day or meaning like not doing anything

1159
01:17:14.280 --> 01:17:15.280
all day.

1160
01:17:15.280 --> 01:17:16.280
Can't give me anything.

1161
01:17:16.280 --> 01:17:19.100
So if I already have everything, what do I want to do?

1162
01:17:19.100 --> 01:17:20.480
Do I want to rest all day?

1163
01:17:20.480 --> 01:17:24.720
Meaning like, uh, not to confuse the words rest, but do I want to, do I want to watch

1164
01:17:24.720 --> 01:17:25.720
Netflix?

1165
01:17:25.800 --> 01:17:28.400
Do I want to do the dishes?

1166
01:17:28.400 --> 01:17:32.160
Do I want to do a few projects for a while and then go read a book for the next five

1167
01:17:32.160 --> 01:17:33.920
hours?

1168
01:17:33.920 --> 01:17:40.320
When I have significance and I don't need anything, how do I want to, what kind of a

1169
01:17:40.320 --> 01:17:43.840
life do I want to create?

1170
01:17:43.840 --> 01:17:44.840
It's that kind of thing.

1171
01:17:44.840 --> 01:17:46.200
Is that, is that making sense?

1172
01:17:46.200 --> 01:17:51.720
But it all has to come from you choosing that God really is who he says that he is.

1173
01:17:51.720 --> 01:17:52.720
He's love.

1174
01:17:52.720 --> 01:17:53.720
He's protector.

1175
01:17:53.720 --> 01:17:54.720
He's provider.

1176
01:17:54.720 --> 01:17:56.920
He is creating your, your outcome.

1177
01:17:56.920 --> 01:18:02.520
He is creating what happens in your life and that you are who he says that you are.

1178
01:18:02.520 --> 01:18:06.200
You really have never sinned.

1179
01:18:06.200 --> 01:18:08.840
You really have never sinned.

1180
01:18:08.840 --> 01:18:14.360
You really haven't had the effects, the negative effects of all those bad things that have

1181
01:18:14.360 --> 01:18:15.600
happened to you.

1182
01:18:15.600 --> 01:18:20.600
Any bad decisions that maybe you've made anything that happened to your parents, anything, I

1183
01:18:20.600 --> 01:18:22.120
don't know, just whatever.

1184
01:18:22.120 --> 01:18:25.960
You really aren't that person.

1185
01:18:25.960 --> 01:18:31.040
Your soul and your body have dealt with trauma from having gone through it, but you aren't

1186
01:18:31.040 --> 01:18:38.320
there and you don't have to live according to your souls and your body's past experience.

1187
01:18:38.320 --> 01:18:47.160
Their past experience can be overcome by choosing who your identity and your spirit, your identity

1188
01:18:47.160 --> 01:18:55.240
and your spirit can overcome the past experience that your soul and your body are living.

1189
01:18:55.240 --> 01:19:00.280
So you have the permission to choose you anyway.

1190
01:19:00.280 --> 01:19:01.280
Wow.

1191
01:19:01.280 --> 01:19:02.280
Yeah.

1192
01:19:02.280 --> 01:19:04.680
Is any of that helpful?

1193
01:19:04.680 --> 01:19:07.840
All in trust me every I'm like, wow.

1194
01:19:07.840 --> 01:19:15.440
Like I don't, the less that I say or respond or react or whatever, the more than I'm just

1195
01:19:15.440 --> 01:19:19.440
like taking it in because it's so different.

1196
01:19:19.440 --> 01:19:24.840
It's so it's just so different that in a great way, but that I'm like, I'm really in order

1197
01:19:24.840 --> 01:19:28.880
to truly, really listen to you to something that's totally foreign and new to me.

1198
01:19:28.880 --> 01:19:32.040
I'm like, I I'm like listening intently, but I'm not really responding.

1199
01:19:32.040 --> 01:19:33.040
No, no, no.

1200
01:19:33.040 --> 01:19:34.040
You're fine.

1201
01:19:34.040 --> 01:19:35.040
I just wanted to make sure.

1202
01:19:35.040 --> 01:19:36.040
Yeah.

1203
01:19:36.040 --> 01:19:37.040
It's amazing.

1204
01:19:37.040 --> 01:19:38.040
Yes.

1205
01:19:38.040 --> 01:19:42.480
It's, it's like, it's something that I like, I've got to like chew on and that I want to

1206
01:19:43.480 --> 01:19:49.680
enough times that it can, you know, become, I mean, obviously I'm going to, I'm going

1207
01:19:49.680 --> 01:19:54.800
to act on it too, but like probably something that I'm going to have to replay.

1208
01:19:54.800 --> 01:19:55.800
Yeah.

1209
01:19:55.800 --> 01:20:00.000
And just, you know, just be encouraged by it and everything.

1210
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:09.680
and just know eventually you have permission to live that you have permission to be that.

1211
01:20:09.680 --> 01:20:16.560
Now you don't have to earn it. When you heal, you're not waiting to heal before you can live

1212
01:20:16.560 --> 01:20:22.480
that. That's what's so wild is that Ashley, I, when I heard from the Lord, uh, it was September

1213
01:20:22.480 --> 01:20:28.400
8th when I had these encounters with, like, he was just speaking like nonstop about freedom and

1214
01:20:28.400 --> 01:20:31.920
liberation and every, everywhere I turn and everybody that I, you know, talked to, and it

1215
01:20:31.920 --> 01:20:35.760
was just like, the Lord was just on this mission that day. And by the end of the day, he was like,

1216
01:20:35.760 --> 01:20:44.720
you're not, you're no longer living, living your liberty. He said, he said, you are free. He said,

1217
01:20:44.720 --> 01:20:51.040
you, and then she said, you know, what can you now do in light of this new truth? And he said,

1218
01:20:51.040 --> 01:20:57.120
you can live like you're three free. You can think like you're free. You are free. Like he,

1219
01:20:57.200 --> 01:21:02.080
like those were his words on my vision board, but it's like, that's, that's like what it most

1220
01:21:02.080 --> 01:21:07.040
reminds me of where it's like, okay, it's, it's here now, which I totally thought before that,

1221
01:21:07.040 --> 01:21:13.440
that I had to get free, you know? Uh, but even since then, it's been like, what is what? Like,

1222
01:21:13.440 --> 01:21:18.480
I can live like I can think, you know, like it's like a riddle or something, but it makes a lot

1223
01:21:18.480 --> 01:21:24.720
of sense the way you described it. It's like, it's, it's, it's giving that what he spoke over

1224
01:21:24.720 --> 01:21:30.320
me and in terms of freedom, it's giving that, you know, a voice and more detail in terms of

1225
01:21:30.320 --> 01:21:37.920
how I can live that out. Like he's saying, I can, you know? Yeah. I have a, another call.

1226
01:21:37.920 --> 01:21:43.600
I need to jump on, but before I do, I just wanted to tell you that. And so I'm sorry that we have

1227
01:21:43.600 --> 01:21:48.960
to leave so abruptly. I was trying to give us as much time as possible. So I like brought up

1228
01:21:49.040 --> 01:21:55.520
to the water. Yeah. Okay. Good. Bring us up to the wire. But, um, but the other thing is that,

1229
01:21:55.520 --> 01:22:01.120
oh man, what was it? I was going to say it was about, um, you're talking about, uh, the,

1230
01:22:01.120 --> 01:22:07.200
the, the wording of it. Oh man. What was it? Um, like you're free. Yeah, it was.

1231
01:22:08.560 --> 01:22:13.680
Oh, it's coming back. Yeah. About, um, freedom, you know, being able to live that freedom.

1232
01:22:13.680 --> 01:22:22.000
Um, but, oh man, I thought it would be helpful. Okay. Oh, well, Lord, tell her,

1233
01:22:22.800 --> 01:22:29.280
whatever that was. Um, so I'm sorry, man, I, I, I wanted to kind of like jump in there really fast

1234
01:22:29.280 --> 01:22:32.080
and say, okay, before I have to go, I want to tell you this. Cause I think it'd be helpful.

1235
01:22:32.080 --> 01:22:37.840
It was just basically to re art, rephrase something, um, that I thought might help like

1236
01:22:37.840 --> 01:22:43.040
drive, uh, drive a point home. Oh, that's what it was. Okay. Remember you were already,

1237
01:22:43.440 --> 01:22:47.520
Lord, you remember you already are the thing. So this whole thing of like, well, wait a minute.

1238
01:22:47.520 --> 01:22:52.320
You know, I, I, I can live like I'm free. Well, how do I do that? Remember what that is,

1239
01:22:52.320 --> 01:22:57.760
is that as God saying, you already are the thing. Now allow me to father you into something that

1240
01:22:57.760 --> 01:23:02.640
you've never experienced and you don't know how to live. You're there, but how do you live there?

1241
01:23:02.640 --> 01:23:06.240
Think of it kind of like a culture. God says, you're already in this kingdom. You were already

1242
01:23:06.240 --> 01:23:10.240
in this land and you're like, okay, yeah, but I don't understand. And you have all the benefits.

1243
01:23:10.800 --> 01:23:17.120
Okay. But what are those? And what does that mean? And so, Hey, Liberty, you have all of this food

1244
01:23:17.120 --> 01:23:21.280
then Lord, this is great. This looks wonderful, but I don't know how to eat it.

1245
01:23:21.280 --> 01:23:25.200
What, what, what, how do, how do I actually, how do I engage with it? I'm really Lord.

1246
01:23:25.200 --> 01:23:30.240
And so that's what the Lord fathers is into. So you agree with him that you're there,

1247
01:23:30.240 --> 01:23:38.160
that you have it. What you allow him to work with you on is. Okay. God coming into agreement with

1248
01:23:38.160 --> 01:23:44.160
you that I already have it, that I'm already there. Um, how would you father me into showing

1249
01:23:44.160 --> 01:23:49.520
me how to engage with it? How do I do that? But I agree that I already have it. I don't know.

1250
01:23:49.520 --> 01:23:53.920
I don't believe that I'm not there and then I have to earn it and that, you know, oh, well,

1251
01:23:53.920 --> 01:23:57.440
I have to shift into it. No, you don't have to shift into it. The only reason I talk about

1252
01:23:57.440 --> 01:24:01.760
shifting into rest is because that makes sense to people because they think they're not there.

1253
01:24:01.760 --> 01:24:05.680
And I'm just trying to help them understand so that they can overcome like their, their mental

1254
01:24:06.240 --> 01:24:11.600
that we're already there. The thing is like, we just asked the father, okay, Lord, in agreement

1255
01:24:11.600 --> 01:24:17.680
with you, that I'm already there. Father me into how do I, how do I engage with it? What is this

1256
01:24:17.680 --> 01:24:22.480
thing? And what do I, what can it do? And how do I make it do that? And then what do I do with it?

1257
01:24:22.480 --> 01:24:27.200
Like, how do I like move into creation with it? Do I, I don't hold a cup with it. And then if I

1258
01:24:27.200 --> 01:24:30.960
hold a cup with it, what do I do with that? Well, then you drink it. Well, what does that mean? You

1259
01:24:30.960 --> 01:24:37.120
know, it's, you just, you come into agreement first that you have it. Then that whole gap that

1260
01:24:37.120 --> 01:24:43.920
you're feeling, you come into agreement with the Lord that he's just showing you how to engage with

1261
01:24:43.920 --> 01:24:48.880
something that you have, as opposed to approaching it from a, I don't know how to engage with it.

1262
01:24:48.880 --> 01:24:55.280
Cause I don't have it yet. And I'm waiting for God to trickle it down. No, you have it completely.

1263
01:24:55.280 --> 01:24:59.840
And you're just learning how to engage with it. How do you.

1264
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:05.680
live in freedom. You already have it. How do you live it? As opposed to Lord, how do I shift into

1265
01:25:05.680 --> 01:25:13.760
freedom? No, Lord, I have it. How do I, how do I exist here? What do I do anyway? And I'm going

1266
01:25:13.760 --> 01:25:20.000
to be like, so anyway, no liberty. And I'll get this uploaded as soon as I can trying to get over

1267
01:25:20.000 --> 01:25:24.400
technical issues for uploading, but try to get it up as soon as I can. Yeah. Perfect. No worries.

1268
01:25:24.400 --> 01:25:28.400
Thank you so much. Love you. Love you too. Bye.