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And welcome, welcome, welcome to the Prosper Leader membership monthly call.

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This is our monthly kickoff.

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Of course, we start the first Tuesday of the month and then we wrap it up on the third

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Thursday.

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So I'm so excited.

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For those of you who are here live, you get the extra bonuses.

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We just got to do some breakout rooms and we're going to do some masterminding.

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But for those of you that are traveling and doing all your other stuff, we miss you.

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Come back and here's the video for you to be able to watch and get started.

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So the topic I'm going to be sharing today, I think is incredibly significant in the sense

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that it's really tied in with your level of fulfillment in your life.

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It's directly correlated to your happiness and of course, happiness and fulfillment is

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also tied to success because the happier we are, the more fulfilled, the more we're

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going to magnetize others into our life.

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And so our life becomes more successful.

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So I think this is an incredibly important topic.

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So we're going to start first with prayer.

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I think I've neglected that the last couple of times and the Lord reminded me we're going

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to start with prayer and then I'll share some thoughts with you and then we'll come back

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and mastermind together.

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Okay.

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So Father, I thank you for this day.

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I thank you for the very gift of life.

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I thank you for all of the greatness that you've put into our heart, in our goals, our

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dreams, our desires, with the power of your Holy Spirit living in us.

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And I ask that what is shared today, Lord, will be the exact things that each Prosper

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Leader member that is here.

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I ask that the words will be life.

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I ask Lord that you open our spiritual senses to hear what you are saying.

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I'm asking for breakthrough for every woman here.

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I'm asking for total healing, spirit, soul, and body.

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I'm asking that you activate the flow, activate the flow of resources, activate the flow of

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circulation in their body, activate the flow of life, of the power of your Holy Spirit

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in them.

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And so we give thanks in Jesus name, amen, amen.

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Okay.

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So the topic today is inspired really by two books.

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One I've been talking to you about, which is 10X is Easier Than 2X, highly, highly recommend

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you read that.

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10X is Easier Than 2X, and of course I talked about it on the last call and a book previous

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to that, written by the same two authors, Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan.

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And that is called The Gap and the Gain, The Gap and the Gain.

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And I'll tell you, as I was reading that, it just like smacked me right upside the head

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because I have to be honest, a great portion of my life, I've lived in the gap.

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So let's talk about what is the gap?

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Let me explain about the gap and see if you can look at your life and have you been living

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in the gap or have you been living in the gain?

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So here's some questions to help you think about that.

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So first question, do you tend to focus on what's missing, what's lacking, what's broken,

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what's not right, what's wrong, what you don't have, how you wish it was?

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That's a sign that you're living in the gap, right?

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You're focusing on what's wrong, what's missing, what's broken, what's not going fast enough,

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what you don't have, what you lack, right?

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So that's a sign.

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Another sign is you're so busy trying to reach the next goal.

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So you've got your goal oriented and you're going for it and you're really going for a goal

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and you reach a goal.

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Maybe you get that first sale, maybe you get that first client, maybe you get those first

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five clients, you get the first 10, maybe you hit your first six figures, whatever.

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So you're really excited going for a goal, but you never stop to really celebrate

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or even notice that you hit it.

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You just kind of like, cool, on to the next goal.

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Are any of you like that?

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Because I know I am.

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I don't take time to really just thank God for that goal achieved.

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I don't take time to like honor myself, celebrate the success.

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I'm always honored.

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on to the next. And, and those of you that read my newsletter

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this Sunday, no, I shared about that, you know, I remember, like

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my goal to, you know, get my first, you know, $1,000, just

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starting, you know, prosper, my first 5000, you know, came and

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went, okay, got to be 10,000 and came and went, right, okay,

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100,000. So, so we get on this, like treadmill. And if you're on

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this treadmill, it means that you're living in the gap. Okay,

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another one has to do and this is going to really explain if

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you're in the gap or not, how you measure yourself. In other

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words, what are you measuring yourself against? Okay, so are

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you measuring yourself against an ideal? I have lived this way

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my entire life, I'm writing a whole book about it. I mean,

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it's it's rooted in perfectionism. You know, I went

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through a very terrible childhood, lots of domestic

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violence, sexual abuse, just a lot of terrible things that no

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child should experience. And in that I made these hidden vows,

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these unconscious vows, right. And it was like, when I grew up,

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my life wasn't going to be like this. And so I have this

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standard that I was going to have like the perfect family, I

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was going to be the perfect wife, I was going to be the

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perfect. And then at 17, when I found Christ, and I became a

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Christian, oh, that really got even stronger, I was going to be

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the perfect Christian, the perfect. So what happens if

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you're measuring yourself against this ideal, and this

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ideal is, it's really not clear, like, how do you know when you

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arrived? How do you know when you're a perfect Christian or a

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perfect wife or a perfect mother, right? Or have this

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perfect relationship or find the perfect man or build the

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perfect, like, like, how can you even define that, right?

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It's, it's based on an illusion. And, and so what happens is,

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it's like the carrot in front of the horse, it's, it's always

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moving. And so you're measuring yourself against this ideal that

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is a moving target. Okay. Now, why does that matter? Why do I

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teach on this? Why is this an important concept? Well, the

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problem with measuring yourself against this ideal is, like I

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said, it's a moving target. So it's always out of reach. And so

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when we measure ourselves against that ideal, then there's

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this level of disappointment, right? Because if you have

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expectation, that ideal, and where you are, the gap between

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where you are and this ideal that you have, that gap is

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called frustration. It's called disappointment, right? And it,

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it often feels even like being stuck, you know, as I was

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praying the other day, and I was talking to the Lord about

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feeling stuck in a certain area. And the Lord said, you're not

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stuck, you're just impatient. Try that one on for size, right?

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You're not stuck, you're just impatient. So the challenge

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that is, there's that frustration. And so we're,

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we're dissatisfied, we're, we're disappointed, we're disillusioned,

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we're discouraged, we're, we're not happy, because things are

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not the way that we think that they should be, which is really

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resistance, right? It's fighting against reality. And so we're,

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we're here, but we always are thinking we should be there. And

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we're never there. We're always here. And we're always thinking

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we need to be somewhere else. So if we're single, we think we

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should be married. If we're married, we think we should be

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single. If we're, you know, broke, we think we're rich, you

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know, we're just always thinking we're supposed to be somewhere

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else. And so there's this lack of dissatisfaction. Now, this

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carries into a lot of parts of our life, okay? If we're, if we

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have this ideal for our body, and, and we don't attain it, we

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get a lot of self judgment and a lot of self criticism, which

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leads to all kinds of things, right? Illness and all kinds of

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things. We carry it into our relationships. I'm so guilty of

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this, guys. Um, we we put this on our, our partner, our life

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partner, our spouse, our husband, our wife, um, we put an

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ideal of how they should be. And so we're always in the gap,

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we're looking at the things they're not doing. And we're

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really missing the things and the blessings of what they are

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doing, because we're so focused on the change we want them to

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have, or our kids, you know, our kids, we can be so harsh,

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because we want the best for our kids. And so we set this ideal

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for them, um, you know, which we would call like, your potential,

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how many of you have heard was it said to you

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or you've said it to your kids, you're just not living up to your potential, right? And what is

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that, right? Because the truth is, in Christ, we're limitless. Our potential, we're never living

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up to our potential because we're ever expanding, right? And so it's this ideal. And so a lot of

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times, kids feel like they fall short and they too get into, they pick up the attitude of striving.

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How many of you have spent your life just striving? And so they pick that up. And so this

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really hurts relationships because those people in our life, they just never measure up. They never

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live up to what we have defined that they should. So that is living in the gap. And I said it just

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like, you know, slap me upside because I've spent most of my life living in the gap. And so learning

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to live in the gain, learning to live in the gain is a whole different way of living, a powerful

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way of living. And the shift happens moving from living in the gap to living in the gain. The shift

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happens simply by changing our perspective. And isn't that the way life is? Changing our perspective

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just changes everything, right? So to move from the gap to the gain, we change what we're measuring

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against. So instead of measuring against this vague ideal, or maybe not even so vague, this ideal,

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like I should be at six figures. And once I hit six figures, I should be at seven figures. I'm

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using money as an example. It could be pounds. I should be at this weight. We could apply it

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to everything, right? I should already be married. I should already have kids. I should be further.

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I should have a home by now. Whatever. We have these shoulds. We should on ourselves, right?

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And so when we change the point of reference, instead of measuring our success on this ideal,

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or this goal, we measure ourself based on how far we've come. That's why I started with the

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question, because we measure how far. And so we learn to celebrate every win, no matter how small.

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And when we do this, we find that we're living in the gain. And what happens is you're going to

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have more confidence. You're going to feel happier. You're going to be more motivated,

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and you're actually going to be more likely to advance and succeed. And so in the book,

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The Gap and the Gain, it says, gain the formula. Gain equals happiness. Gain equals happiness, okay?

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So one of the ways that you can do this, I have on the Prosper Daily Plan, one of the things you

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fill out every day is daily wins, at least three, okay? So you could do this right before you go to

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bed at night. Just think about the wins, and then have gratitude about those. Thank God for those

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wins, and fall asleep with that, right? Or if you wake up and you do your Prosper in the morning,

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then review the day before, and just celebrate your wins, learning to honor your wins. This is

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why I start every coaching call with wins as much as possible, because there's a law. Whatever you

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focus on expands. So if you're focusing on what's missing, what's lacking, what's broken, what's not

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happening, then you're going to get more of that. You're going to get more lack, more not happening,

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more stuckness. But if you focus, if you ask the question, what's good? What's the good here that

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I'm not seeing? What's right about me? What's right about this situation? What you focus on expands,

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you're going to have more good, right? Ever expanding good. And so it's what we focus on, changing

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that perspective. And so I've given you some exercises on the handout, but here's some more

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tips, okay? One of the things is track your progress, celebrate your wins, like I just mentioned.

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And so instead of comparing yourself to others, okay? That's one way to be in the gap, comparing

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yourself to others. I'm not like them. I'll tell you with the rise of social media, this is

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really hurting our kids. It's why depression is so high. I mean, if I look at Instagram,

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it looks like every 20, 30 something lives in a mansion, has million dollar income,

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you know, is living the luxurious life. I mean, if I look at Instagram, that's what it looks like.

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And so if you are living in the gap, it looks like everybody's arrived except you. You've been left

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behind, right? And so social media is designed to...

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to create this and to feed this.

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And the Bible says it's not wise to compare ourselves

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against each other.

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So who do we compare ourselves against?

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Here's how you stay in the game.

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Instead of comparing yourself of this ideal,

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measuring yourself against that, or comparing yourself

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with others, compare yourself with your past self.

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In other words, who were you three months ago?

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Who were you a year ago?

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Who were you five years ago?

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And compare against that.

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In other words, how far have you come?

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Instead of looking at how far do you need to go,

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look at how far have you come.

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And this is a powerful, powerful exercise.

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So let's say you had a goal.

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And let's say that you reached 60% of the goal.

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This is the old, the cup is half empty or half full.

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So let's say you reach 60%.

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So if you're in the gap, you're going

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to be looking that you fell short 40%.

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You really messed up.

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I mean, that's 40% that you didn't get.

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You're going to be discouraged, disillusioned, frustrated.

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If instead you compare with how far you come,

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you're 60% ahead of where you were when you set this goal.

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Now feel the energy of both of those.

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It's a completely different energy.

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And lastly, is learn to shorten your disappointment time.

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When you do, it's natural.

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And you had a client you thought was going to come on

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or you thought you were going to have a fantastic month

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and you don't hit it.

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And the natural human emotion is to feel disappointed.

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A trick I've learned over the years

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that has been so helpful and so powerful

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is learning to shorten the disappointment.

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I remember when I got started in direct selling

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and I had one of my top people leave and go

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to another company.

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I cried.

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I cried for nights.

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I was discouraged for weeks.

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You know what?

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It wasn't about me.

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It's natural.

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People come and go in your life.

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There's on ramps and off ramps.

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And so what I learned is instead of being disappointed

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for three weeks, I learned to shorten it.

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Just be disappointed for a week.

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And then you learn to shorten that.

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Be disappointed for a day.

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And then you learn to shorten that.

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Feel the disappointment, but be disappointed for an hour.

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Or give yourself 30 minutes or 10 minutes.

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You see how this can free you up to move forward powerfully

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in your life.

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So shorten the disappointment time.

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Wrapping this up as it relates to business.

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I gave you, first of all, just this applies to everything.

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Your health, your relationships, your happiness, your joy.

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But let's look at how it applies.

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The gap and the gain.

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How does the gap and the gain apply to business?

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Well, first of all, when you're focusing on the gain,

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then you can start to really say,

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what skills have I really gained?

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So I've gained the skill of being

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able to show up on social media.

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I've gained the skill of being able to speak.

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I've gained the skill of being able to do a sales call.

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I've gained the skill of coaching.

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I've gained the skill of writing.

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I've gained the skill, or even within the skill, in writing.

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I've learned to be more descriptive in my writing.

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Also, what lessons have I learned?

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Because those are powerful teaching tools.

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They make for powerful coaching.

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So when we're in the gain, we can say,

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what skills have I gained?

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What experiences?

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What lessons?

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And this allows you to step into your confidence.

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This will remove some of the imposter syndrome.

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So one of the beauties of being in the gain

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is you reduce the imposter syndrome.

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Now, once you've done that, now tie it.

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So you've got these gains.

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You've got these lessons.

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You've got these experiences.

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Now ask the question, what problem does this solve?

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Like, what problem can my coaching,

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or what problem can my writing, or what problem can my speaking,

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or this lesson that I've learned, how to manage money,

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how to lose weight, how to get healthy, how to be happy?

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This experience, this lesson, what problem will it solve?

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And this can turn into a business,

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because money is about solving problems.

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The bigger the problem you solve, the more money you make,

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the more clients you get.

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So for me, I learned how to really identify and get

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super clear on a new problem.

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I learned how to create an offer that's irresistible, right?

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I knew how to create the big promise, the heading, the subheading.

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I've learned how to focus on benefits and not features.

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So I've learned to create very powerful packages, right?

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So I can solve a problem in those lessons.

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I can help you identify your niche.

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I can help you create your packages, right?

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I can help you get the right pricing for you.

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These are the things I do in a breakthrough business intensive.

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So you take your experiences and what you do well,

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you look at what problem it solves,

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and then you turn that into a deliverable, a product, a service, an offer, right?

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And so that's the third step, right?

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So you look at your gain, and then you look at the problem it solves

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and who it solves it for,

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and you turn that into a way that someone can experience that,

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be it group coaching or one-on-one coaching or a masterclass

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or a mastermind or a book.

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I mean, it's endless how you can take this gain and create value,

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and money is an exchange for value.

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So learn to create value.

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All right.

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So the thoughts are, have you been living in the gap?

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All right.

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Shorten the disappointment, acknowledge it.

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That's the reality.

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I've done it too.

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Let's start learning.

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Let's start learning how to live in the gain,

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and let's just praise God more and celebrate more and have more wins,

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and let's be that friend, that partner, that parent, that coach

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that really celebrates the wins of others.

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Acknowledge when someone looks great.

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Acknowledge when they do something well.

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I often start, you know, when I reach out on social media,

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I notice what's great about their page,

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what's great about their experience, what's great about a post.

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Like when we start to train our eyes to focus on the gain,

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we'll be happier, more successful, more attractive,

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more magnetic, and just build a much more prosperous life.

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So I pray this has blessed you.

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If you get the book, The Gap and the Gain,

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you can go deeper and further, but touched on it today.

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Now we're going to get together in the mastermind and go deeper.

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So let me stop the recording.