And welcome, welcome, welcome to the Prosper Leader membership monthly call.
This is our monthly kickoff.
Of course, we start the first Tuesday of the month and then we wrap it up on the third
Thursday.
So I'm so excited.
For those of you who are here live, you get the extra bonuses.
We just got to do some breakout rooms and we're going to do some masterminding.
But for those of you that are traveling and doing all your other stuff, we miss you.
Come back and here's the video for you to be able to watch and get started.
So the topic I'm going to be sharing today, I think is incredibly significant in the sense
that it's really tied in with your level of fulfillment in your life.
It's directly correlated to your happiness and of course, happiness and fulfillment is
also tied to success because the happier we are, the more fulfilled, the more we're
going to magnetize others into our life.
And so our life becomes more successful.
So I think this is an incredibly important topic.
So we're going to start first with prayer.
I think I've neglected that the last couple of times and the Lord reminded me we're going
to start with prayer and then I'll share some thoughts with you and then we'll come back
and mastermind together.
Okay.
So Father, I thank you for this day.
I thank you for the very gift of life.
I thank you for all of the greatness that you've put into our heart, in our goals, our
dreams, our desires, with the power of your Holy Spirit living in us.
And I ask that what is shared today, Lord, will be the exact things that each Prosper
Leader member that is here.
I ask that the words will be life.
I ask Lord that you open our spiritual senses to hear what you are saying.
I'm asking for breakthrough for every woman here.
I'm asking for total healing, spirit, soul, and body.
I'm asking that you activate the flow, activate the flow of resources, activate the flow of
circulation in their body, activate the flow of life, of the power of your Holy Spirit
in them.
And so we give thanks in Jesus name, amen, amen.
Okay.
So the topic today is inspired really by two books.
One I've been talking to you about, which is 10X is Easier Than 2X, highly, highly recommend
you read that.
10X is Easier Than 2X, and of course I talked about it on the last call and a book previous
to that, written by the same two authors, Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan.
And that is called The Gap and the Gain, The Gap and the Gain.
And I'll tell you, as I was reading that, it just like smacked me right upside the head
because I have to be honest, a great portion of my life, I've lived in the gap.
So let's talk about what is the gap?
Let me explain about the gap and see if you can look at your life and have you been living
in the gap or have you been living in the gain?
So here's some questions to help you think about that.
So first question, do you tend to focus on what's missing, what's lacking, what's broken,
what's not right, what's wrong, what you don't have, how you wish it was?
That's a sign that you're living in the gap, right?
You're focusing on what's wrong, what's missing, what's broken, what's not going fast enough,
what you don't have, what you lack, right?
So that's a sign.
Another sign is you're so busy trying to reach the next goal.
So you've got your goal oriented and you're going for it and you're really going for a goal
and you reach a goal.
Maybe you get that first sale, maybe you get that first client, maybe you get those first
five clients, you get the first 10, maybe you hit your first six figures, whatever.
So you're really excited going for a goal, but you never stop to really celebrate
or even notice that you hit it.
You just kind of like, cool, on to the next goal.
Are any of you like that?
Because I know I am.
I don't take time to really just thank God for that goal achieved.
I don't take time to like honor myself, celebrate the success.
I'm always honored.
on to the next. And, and those of you that read my newsletter
this Sunday, no, I shared about that, you know, I remember, like
my goal to, you know, get my first, you know, $1,000, just
starting, you know, prosper, my first 5000, you know, came and
went, okay, got to be 10,000 and came and went, right, okay,
100,000. So, so we get on this, like treadmill. And if you're on
this treadmill, it means that you're living in the gap. Okay,
another one has to do and this is going to really explain if
you're in the gap or not, how you measure yourself. In other
words, what are you measuring yourself against? Okay, so are
you measuring yourself against an ideal? I have lived this way
my entire life, I'm writing a whole book about it. I mean,
it's it's rooted in perfectionism. You know, I went
through a very terrible childhood, lots of domestic
violence, sexual abuse, just a lot of terrible things that no
child should experience. And in that I made these hidden vows,
these unconscious vows, right. And it was like, when I grew up,
my life wasn't going to be like this. And so I have this
standard that I was going to have like the perfect family, I
was going to be the perfect wife, I was going to be the
perfect. And then at 17, when I found Christ, and I became a
Christian, oh, that really got even stronger, I was going to be
the perfect Christian, the perfect. So what happens if
you're measuring yourself against this ideal, and this
ideal is, it's really not clear, like, how do you know when you
arrived? How do you know when you're a perfect Christian or a
perfect wife or a perfect mother, right? Or have this
perfect relationship or find the perfect man or build the
perfect, like, like, how can you even define that, right?
It's, it's based on an illusion. And, and so what happens is,
it's like the carrot in front of the horse, it's, it's always
moving. And so you're measuring yourself against this ideal that
is a moving target. Okay. Now, why does that matter? Why do I
teach on this? Why is this an important concept? Well, the
problem with measuring yourself against this ideal is, like I
said, it's a moving target. So it's always out of reach. And so
when we measure ourselves against that ideal, then there's
this level of disappointment, right? Because if you have
expectation, that ideal, and where you are, the gap between
where you are and this ideal that you have, that gap is
called frustration. It's called disappointment, right? And it,
it often feels even like being stuck, you know, as I was
praying the other day, and I was talking to the Lord about
feeling stuck in a certain area. And the Lord said, you're not
stuck, you're just impatient. Try that one on for size, right?
You're not stuck, you're just impatient. So the challenge
that is, there's that frustration. And so we're,
we're dissatisfied, we're, we're disappointed, we're disillusioned,
we're discouraged, we're, we're not happy, because things are
not the way that we think that they should be, which is really
resistance, right? It's fighting against reality. And so we're,
we're here, but we always are thinking we should be there. And
we're never there. We're always here. And we're always thinking
we need to be somewhere else. So if we're single, we think we
should be married. If we're married, we think we should be
single. If we're, you know, broke, we think we're rich, you
know, we're just always thinking we're supposed to be somewhere
else. And so there's this lack of dissatisfaction. Now, this
carries into a lot of parts of our life, okay? If we're, if we
have this ideal for our body, and, and we don't attain it, we
get a lot of self judgment and a lot of self criticism, which
leads to all kinds of things, right? Illness and all kinds of
things. We carry it into our relationships. I'm so guilty of
this, guys. Um, we we put this on our, our partner, our life
partner, our spouse, our husband, our wife, um, we put an
ideal of how they should be. And so we're always in the gap,
we're looking at the things they're not doing. And we're
really missing the things and the blessings of what they are
doing, because we're so focused on the change we want them to
have, or our kids, you know, our kids, we can be so harsh,
because we want the best for our kids. And so we set this ideal
for them, um, you know, which we would call like, your potential,
how many of you have heard was it said to you
or you've said it to your kids, you're just not living up to your potential, right? And what is
that, right? Because the truth is, in Christ, we're limitless. Our potential, we're never living
up to our potential because we're ever expanding, right? And so it's this ideal. And so a lot of
times, kids feel like they fall short and they too get into, they pick up the attitude of striving.
How many of you have spent your life just striving? And so they pick that up. And so this
really hurts relationships because those people in our life, they just never measure up. They never
live up to what we have defined that they should. So that is living in the gap. And I said it just
like, you know, slap me upside because I've spent most of my life living in the gap. And so learning
to live in the gain, learning to live in the gain is a whole different way of living, a powerful
way of living. And the shift happens moving from living in the gap to living in the gain. The shift
happens simply by changing our perspective. And isn't that the way life is? Changing our perspective
just changes everything, right? So to move from the gap to the gain, we change what we're measuring
against. So instead of measuring against this vague ideal, or maybe not even so vague, this ideal,
like I should be at six figures. And once I hit six figures, I should be at seven figures. I'm
using money as an example. It could be pounds. I should be at this weight. We could apply it
to everything, right? I should already be married. I should already have kids. I should be further.
I should have a home by now. Whatever. We have these shoulds. We should on ourselves, right?
And so when we change the point of reference, instead of measuring our success on this ideal,
or this goal, we measure ourself based on how far we've come. That's why I started with the
question, because we measure how far. And so we learn to celebrate every win, no matter how small.
And when we do this, we find that we're living in the gain. And what happens is you're going to
have more confidence. You're going to feel happier. You're going to be more motivated,
and you're actually going to be more likely to advance and succeed. And so in the book,
The Gap and the Gain, it says, gain the formula. Gain equals happiness. Gain equals happiness, okay?
So one of the ways that you can do this, I have on the Prosper Daily Plan, one of the things you
fill out every day is daily wins, at least three, okay? So you could do this right before you go to
bed at night. Just think about the wins, and then have gratitude about those. Thank God for those
wins, and fall asleep with that, right? Or if you wake up and you do your Prosper in the morning,
then review the day before, and just celebrate your wins, learning to honor your wins. This is
why I start every coaching call with wins as much as possible, because there's a law. Whatever you
focus on expands. So if you're focusing on what's missing, what's lacking, what's broken, what's not
happening, then you're going to get more of that. You're going to get more lack, more not happening,
more stuckness. But if you focus, if you ask the question, what's good? What's the good here that
I'm not seeing? What's right about me? What's right about this situation? What you focus on expands,
you're going to have more good, right? Ever expanding good. And so it's what we focus on, changing
that perspective. And so I've given you some exercises on the handout, but here's some more
tips, okay? One of the things is track your progress, celebrate your wins, like I just mentioned.
And so instead of comparing yourself to others, okay? That's one way to be in the gap, comparing
yourself to others. I'm not like them. I'll tell you with the rise of social media, this is
really hurting our kids. It's why depression is so high. I mean, if I look at Instagram,
it looks like every 20, 30 something lives in a mansion, has million dollar income,
you know, is living the luxurious life. I mean, if I look at Instagram, that's what it looks like.
And so if you are living in the gap, it looks like everybody's arrived except you. You've been left
behind, right? And so social media is designed to...
to create this and to feed this.
And the Bible says it's not wise to compare ourselves
against each other.
So who do we compare ourselves against?
Here's how you stay in the game.
Instead of comparing yourself of this ideal,
measuring yourself against that, or comparing yourself
with others, compare yourself with your past self.
In other words, who were you three months ago?
Who were you a year ago?
Who were you five years ago?
And compare against that.
In other words, how far have you come?
Instead of looking at how far do you need to go,
look at how far have you come.
And this is a powerful, powerful exercise.
So let's say you had a goal.
And let's say that you reached 60% of the goal.
This is the old, the cup is half empty or half full.
So let's say you reach 60%.
So if you're in the gap, you're going
to be looking that you fell short 40%.
You really messed up.
I mean, that's 40% that you didn't get.
You're going to be discouraged, disillusioned, frustrated.
If instead you compare with how far you come,
you're 60% ahead of where you were when you set this goal.
Now feel the energy of both of those.
It's a completely different energy.
And lastly, is learn to shorten your disappointment time.
When you do, it's natural.
And you had a client you thought was going to come on
or you thought you were going to have a fantastic month
and you don't hit it.
And the natural human emotion is to feel disappointed.
A trick I've learned over the years
that has been so helpful and so powerful
is learning to shorten the disappointment.
I remember when I got started in direct selling
and I had one of my top people leave and go
to another company.
I cried.
I cried for nights.
I was discouraged for weeks.
You know what?
It wasn't about me.
It's natural.
People come and go in your life.
There's on ramps and off ramps.
And so what I learned is instead of being disappointed
for three weeks, I learned to shorten it.
Just be disappointed for a week.
And then you learn to shorten that.
Be disappointed for a day.
And then you learn to shorten that.
Feel the disappointment, but be disappointed for an hour.
Or give yourself 30 minutes or 10 minutes.
You see how this can free you up to move forward powerfully
in your life.
So shorten the disappointment time.
Wrapping this up as it relates to business.
I gave you, first of all, just this applies to everything.
Your health, your relationships, your happiness, your joy.
But let's look at how it applies.
The gap and the gain.
How does the gap and the gain apply to business?
Well, first of all, when you're focusing on the gain,
then you can start to really say,
what skills have I really gained?
So I've gained the skill of being
able to show up on social media.
I've gained the skill of being able to speak.
I've gained the skill of being able to do a sales call.
I've gained the skill of coaching.
I've gained the skill of writing.
I've gained the skill, or even within the skill, in writing.
I've learned to be more descriptive in my writing.
Also, what lessons have I learned?
Because those are powerful teaching tools.
They make for powerful coaching.
So when we're in the gain, we can say,
what skills have I gained?
What experiences?
What lessons?
And this allows you to step into your confidence.
This will remove some of the imposter syndrome.
So one of the beauties of being in the gain
is you reduce the imposter syndrome.
Now, once you've done that, now tie it.
So you've got these gains.
You've got these lessons.
You've got these experiences.
Now ask the question, what problem does this solve?
Like, what problem can my coaching,
or what problem can my writing, or what problem can my speaking,
or this lesson that I've learned, how to manage money,
how to lose weight, how to get healthy, how to be happy?
This experience, this lesson, what problem will it solve?
And this can turn into a business,
because money is about solving problems.
The bigger the problem you solve, the more money you make,
the more clients you get.
So for me, I learned how to really identify and get
super clear on a new problem.
I learned how to create an offer that's irresistible, right?
I knew how to create the big promise, the heading, the subheading.
I've learned how to focus on benefits and not features.
So I've learned to create very powerful packages, right?
So I can solve a problem in those lessons.
I can help you identify your niche.
I can help you create your packages, right?
I can help you get the right pricing for you.
These are the things I do in a breakthrough business intensive.
So you take your experiences and what you do well,
you look at what problem it solves,
and then you turn that into a deliverable, a product, a service, an offer, right?
And so that's the third step, right?
So you look at your gain, and then you look at the problem it solves
and who it solves it for,
and you turn that into a way that someone can experience that,
be it group coaching or one-on-one coaching or a masterclass
or a mastermind or a book.
I mean, it's endless how you can take this gain and create value,
and money is an exchange for value.
So learn to create value.
All right.
So the thoughts are, have you been living in the gap?
All right.
Shorten the disappointment, acknowledge it.
That's the reality.
I've done it too.
Let's start learning.
Let's start learning how to live in the gain,
and let's just praise God more and celebrate more and have more wins,
and let's be that friend, that partner, that parent, that coach
that really celebrates the wins of others.
Acknowledge when someone looks great.
Acknowledge when they do something well.
I often start, you know, when I reach out on social media,
I notice what's great about their page,
what's great about their experience, what's great about a post.
Like when we start to train our eyes to focus on the gain,
we'll be happier, more successful, more attractive,
more magnetic, and just build a much more prosperous life.
So I pray this has blessed you.
If you get the book, The Gap and the Gain,
you can go deeper and further, but touched on it today.
Now we're going to get together in the mastermind and go deeper.
So let me stop the recording.