I'm not sure if I can hear you.
Can you say?
Oh, you're still connecting.
Oh, there you are.
Okay.
There I am.
I don't think I've had the AirPods on before, probably, because I'm like, oh, I can't hear
anything.
Oh, my goodness.
Did you?
How are you?
Oh, I'm exhausted.
From Salsa?
Sorry?
From Salsa?
No, no, no.
That's on Mondays.
Oh.
I think I'm just like, just so tired after everything that's been going on.
I'm just like, oh.
Yeah.
Well, I'm really tired.
I'm tired.
Yeah, I'm super...
I'm in that place where I don't think it's really dawned on me yet, you know what I mean?
So, it's that, and then I think I'm just...
I think that's where I'm struggling, where I don't feel like I can fully just rejoice
until I know it won't go further, you know what I mean?
But then at the same time, I kind of, I mean, I believe that God's like, this was his ruling,
this is what he wanted, and it ends here, so then it won't go further, but then, yeah,
so I think that's where my struggle is, where do I decree and declare that and stand on
it and rejoice and, yeah, that's my own little thing, you know?
Yeah, I know.
I know it's hard.
One of the things that I recommend that we do in these times is, and I mentioned it in
one of the messages, hey, Priscilla, is that we, I think I mentioned it in one of my last
messages to Priscilla last night.
I think I talked to both of y'all when I did it, but I was specifically addressing some
stuff that she had said, one of her messages, about the fact that whenever we're having
faith in God in something, like for her, I was talking specifically about, you know,
the frustration she was having with her body continually being sick, that what we have
to do is we have to risk the disappointment, and we're trying to keep ourselves from celebrating
and being excited because we're like, yeah, but I'm waiting for the shoe to drop, and
so it's really hard in those situations to make a, where God is inviting us to make a
different choice and fully enjoying the celebration of what it is that he's given and what it
is that we have, instead of living our lives in anticipation of preparing ourselves for
something bad to happen so that if we fall or if we get disappointed or something hurts,
we keep thinking, well, maybe it won't hurt as bad.
And funny enough, it hurts just as bad, but we keep thinking that if we protect or prepare
ourselves beforehand for it happening, that it won't hurt as bad because we're, you know,
going to be disappointed.
And if we just expect it, then we won't be disappointed.
But anyway, my thing is that that's a way in which we can stand in faith is to risk
the potential disappointment by fully receiving what it is that we have instead of anticipating
and preparing ourselves to protect ourselves instead of allowing God to protect us, protect
ourselves against potential disappointment.
And that's what's really, really, really, really hard.
But anyway, I'm so sorry that you're still having that, that potential threat, like looming
over you as a possibility of happenings.
I'm really sorry.
Yeah, no, I would have been because it's like pending, it's like we won on all the points.
But then they said in the paper that, oh, we will appeal.
But then in the second paper, they had said no comment.
So I mean, the judge has done a really thorough job.
So it's going to be difficult for them to appeal, I think, is they have to find some
specific thing they're actually going to appeal on.
Yeah.
And I'm like, so that's where I'm like, Oh, my friend, I think this is what kind of so
my friend that's taken some time to herself, like through for the rest of the year, for
God to like, I think there's so many things going on in my head.
She's been standing with me like truly firmly the entire time.
And I'm having like many hats, you know, but she's one of them.
That's been like having faith, maybe where I've been like, Oh, my goodness.
And she's like, she she was really sweet.
She like dressed.
stuff after my last day of court. And she's like, I dressed
up if you won, like, she's like, No, that God has this, like, she
has to pay everything back. And it's like, this is done. I've
seen this picture of a snake that was, you know, put on a
pole and chopped into pieces. And this ends here. And so it's
super encouraging when this happens, you know, but then at
the same time, she's like, pulled away and like, Oh, God is
taking me away. Like I'm having the rest of the year to myself
just because God's giving me new blueprints and blah, blah, blah.
Which is, you know, which is, which is great. But it's just
weird to not be able to share in that celebration with somebody
that's been like standing with you. And she's fully like,
she's like, congratulations, but no, I'm taking time to myself,
you know, and like, and I could feel myself today, like doubly,
I think one was like, maybe like grieving, it was so
interesting, because I got this like morning devotional thing.
And it was like, Oh, you know, letting go of things that are
not continuing honors. And so it was part of like, all felt
almost like I was grieving like a friendship. And then at the
same time, I was like, Oh, my gosh, I need to like, not put my
trust in that. It's not like, Oh, it's because she said then
that's no, it's because like, God did it, you know what I
mean? So I felt like, Oh, my goodness, maybe I've been
leaning on other people's faith, you know what I mean? Like, and
not my own, which is where I had like the, which is why I
honestly feel like God waited a week longer before giving the
the the ruling because I feel in his goodness, he just wanted me
to come in that place where I fully chose him and believed him
before it came. And so it's like, No, I could really see it.
And then the verdict came like the next day.
exciting, really special that you have that history, you have
that record now between you and the Yeah, this is what he did
with you for you, just the two of you. And then it strengthens
you in not feel in not feeling so alone in the next thing that
can happen. And I don't mean with court case. I mean, just
like, you know, the fact that we just things happen in life,
and we have to have faith in Lord, that even without the
people standing with you, you and he have history, where you
can rely just on him. And then that the added support from
other people is just extraneous. It's just bonus, it's just
extra, etc. And so it's a really special, cool gift. It's hard to
walk through. But when you you're so much more, you have so
much more strength. And so because you are, because you
have everything it is that you need, including all
encouragement and support from God alone. Even when people and
I'm not saying that she's doing this, I'm just saying, you know,
in general, even like out on you, meaning like you need them
and they're not there. That's what we kind of like feel like,
Hey, I've been abandoned or whatever. So maybe that's kind
of not that I know for sure. But maybe that's like one of the
words that you might even use to describe how you're feeling with
that grief or that that sense of losses. It's like, I feel a bit
abandoned, like, by my friends, we were doing this together, and
then you're gone. Reach out, you're not there, meaning like
emotionally reach out, even if you didn't like, call her or
anything emotionally. And you're like, No, I don't. I feel like
I'm not, I'm not allowed access, you know, or whatever. Anyway,
that can be hard. I'm sorry.
Yeah, no, yeah, it's okay. It's just like so many things going
on in my head, because I'm like, Oh, my goodness. I know she's
like, doing this like whole coaching thing. And like
learning how to be a coach. But yeah, I don't know, I get I get
so like, oh, I don't know so many things going like, is that
from works? Is it not like it's just things that I'm like
working out in my own head, you know, where I'm like, Oh, well,
you know, I think so. That's between her and God, you know,
like, so I'm like, that's, that's, but I think part of me
with like me and God, I think, and maybe this is what he wants
me to experience to you know, that I actually can stand on his
word and and you know, like what I choose and then but I think
it's back to what we've been discussing before that probably
I'm very being very vocal. I think Priscilla you said that
before, like you're being really vocal about things when you
learn it. So I'm like, I've been like seeing all of these things
and you know, and and I really do believe that I believe that
it's it's over now. But I think there's like, a part of me
that's just super scared that I'm going to
really high out. And I'm like saying this, and then I like you
say, end up like disappointed. And then I'll be like, Oh, yeah,
it's because I you know, like, I think there is a part of me
that's scared of being disappointed in that. Oh, my
choice is not enough or whatever. So I still I'm still
in that, like having to let go of the the outcome and that that
is not defining who God is, you know?
Well, yeah. And that's, I mean, so it's not like, oh, well, once
we kind of get the idea of, oh, this is what it means. And this
is what we're, quote, unquote, supposed to do doesn't mean that
we just boom on a dime, we just start doing it. Because we have
a tendency to, you know, to like, pick it up again, it's
habit, our security is anchored in all of those things. There's
reasons for that they're deeply entrenched, not just in, in our
past choices, our history and our experience, but in the DNA
that we carry from the decisions that our ancestors made. And,
and so it's very deeply entrenched within us. So be
encouraged that even though it it's the God can, God can do a
very quick work and Jen and generally speaking, always does
a quick work, especially consider like how long it was
entrenched in us. It still will take time for us to like, work
a disentangle ourselves, so to speak. So in other words, don't
get discouraged, whenever you find yourself in that situation,
again, just know that well, no, I'm just, I'm just, I'm choosing,
I'm not trying to get an outcome. I'm not trying to get
breakthrough, I am choosing to live life different, I am
choosing to approach life from from by living by faith, instead
of living by sight, or in living by by experience, or living by
the past, you know, living by what I learned, living by
knowledge, living by understanding, or whatever it is
that we've been relying on. So you're just making a different
lifestyle choice. And so you just continue to make that and
eventually, you know, it's like, it's like, a little bit like,
turning the Titanic, you know, it takes a while, because it's so
big, but you're still turning, you're still, you're, you're
still pointing in a different direction than you were before.
So anyway, we can be encouraged and all of that. Is it that you
feel a little so Priscilla was asking you is a little guilty,
like you should have worked harder for it. Somehow the Lord
find out and take maybe Well, I don't know, I feel like, um, I
feel like this is like a knockout and round one, you
know, and it kind of feels like round one, but I feel I wish
this was like over forever, because it was just, it was such
a restoration for my own heart to see my mom and you know, like
for her to just have faith in the court system. And to feel
like people are believing her like all of this. So this is
like a major win. And then I think part of me is not able to
celebrate fully because everybody's also well, they've
said they're gonna appeal like now we have to see like, oh,
it's gonna be interesting to see what comes out of it, you know.
And so and then I think I feel like my other friend that is now
kind of like, taken away, you know, like she's taken herself
out of it. I feel like her faith has always been. I've felt like
her faith has been stronger than mine, where she's like, No,
it's done. Like, it's fine. It's I don't care what other people
say, like, it's finished. Like he said, it was finished, and
it's finished, and it's done. And maybe I feel like, oh, if I
don't have her to say that, then it can now like be reversed. Or
I somehow have to like, make me like, do I really am I there at
the same faith level? Or am I not, you know, and I think
that's where I was trying to be like, how do I agree with
heaven and like decree and declare that in the authority
because it's actually my, my situation. And so maybe that's
what I was thinking earlier today where I was like, Oh, but
it's not because she has been holding up in faith or decreeing
and declaring it's actually because God has made this
ruling, you know. And, yeah, so maybe it's like been taken away
from me for for a time now as well just to like, you know,
sometimes even a friendship you can have like, it can become
like unhealthy because it's like, you lean too much on that
or it's like, yeah. So I don't know. So but I guess there's a
part of me that's just like scared that if I am because I do
really feel like I had breakthrough and I'm like, wow,
this is kind of like I have dominion here. And I do believe
that God did this ruling and this is his final say, you know,
so it kind of felt like it is finished, you know, but I don't
feel like walking out of the court case, I had this feeling
it is finished. But I
didn't have it in me to get dressed up and celebrate and
believe that before I saw the outcome, you know, and then
I've been walking with you to, you know, through this like
journey. And then a couple of days ago, I felt like I had a
breakthrough. And then the verdict came the next day. It
just this makes sense, you know, whereas I wish I would have just
been able to put my party hat on like, three weeks ago and been
like, Yes, it's finished. It's done like he really has done it.
And so now that I see that he has, I'm like, Oh, well, how do
I do it again? You know, like, and it's not me, like, how do I
how do I partner with God to make sure that I that I release
into the world what needs to be released. So that it's like,
because I really do believe this was his ruling. It won't go
further. But maybe I feel like I still have to partner with it,
and speak something or release something to be able to have it
manifest in this world where it's like, they actually won't
appeal or if they do appeal that it will just be dismissed, you
know, like, I think that's where I am, like, where, where do I
partner with him without trying to manipulate or like, have
anything to say on the outcome? Not that I can do that. But you
know what I mean? Like, in that hole where you say, actually, if
you want it, you can have it or like, I don't know if this is
making sense. Yeah, that feeling. Yeah. Well, think about
back to your breakthrough, because you said, Well, I had
the breakthrough. And then one day, and then, and then the
ruling, the verdict came out the next day, what was your
breakthrough? Like, how would you define your breakthrough?
What was what was the breakthrough itself?
And I so that's where I because I think both of you were
wondering if I was feeling guilty. And maybe I was or like
I was unsure or something. And maybe I was because I remember I
was out on a walk. And it was like, I was listening to your
teaching. And all of a sudden, I just had the breakthrough in
understanding the power that I have in my own life, you know,
and then I'm like, Oh, my gosh, yes, I get to partner with God.
And I could like see kind of like, almost like the headline
even in the paper, like the victory, like I could feel I
could see all of this. And so I started praying and declaring
and releasing that and I felt super powerful. But I also at
the same time knew, this is what I want. But it won't affect my
relationship with God if it doesn't happen. But this is
truly what I believe, you know. And yeah, and then I think I
felt guilty after because I'm like, Oh, my gosh, did I try to
define the outcome? You know, is this me praying my wishes, you
know, and so I think that's where I started externally
processing the next day, like, Oh, my goodness, like, did I do
something wrong? Is this like, you know what I mean? Like, or
was this me? x exercising my authority as a daughter?
Yeah. So, you know, you understood what I said, what I
how I responded in the messages that I sent in response to your
message, right, about how it actually works that we co
counsel with the Lord. And that's where and we ask for
things. Yeah. But we only declare whatever God has said.
So if he gives us a specific outcome to come into agreement
with, well, then we can come into agreement with that. But if
he doesn't give us a specific outcome, then we go then we only
declare what is certain that he said, which is like, that he's
going to be good in this situation that he is going to be
protected, he's going to be provider, not his protection or
his provision will manifest as a ruling in your favor. Yeah,
it's that so. So if God and so that's what it is that we that
we use our power and our authority for is power and
authority that we're getting, because we're one with Christ.
So it's Christ's power and authority. We can we can claim
it, but we can't claim it in a way that we feel allows us to
operate separate from Christ's will it have we can only execute
that authority and stand in that authority and power. If we're
united with Christ, meaning like it's within his will, and it's
what he has said first, then yeah, are an authority, we agree
with and stand with what Christ said. And then we we just like
Christ declares, it's true, we come along beside him and say,
yes, I declare that that's true as well, as opposed to, oh, well,
I want this to happen. And surely God would like this
outcome, because it means all of these wonderful things. Therefore,
surely it's God's will. So therefore, I'm making an
assumption. And therefore, I'm going to use my power and my
authority to declare that, well, that is our own that's acting,
you know,
that's acting in
our own using our will to promote our self-interest into the world, even though we would define
our self-interest as, as well, it's only, I'm only doing this in order that good things
will happen and bad things won't.
It's still from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and it's the son leaving
the estate and trying to do something on his own as opposed to being within the father
and within the father's estate.
And okay, God, here's my idea.
Here's what I think would work.
Here's what I think would be really good.
Here's what I'm asking for.
And, and this is, I believe that this is coming out of your character within me.
So do you agree with that?
And then you'll co-counsel together about whether or not that's true.
And even if it is true, if that's an aspect of his character that he wants to act on,
or if there is something else about his character that he says, well, no, if we express it,
my character this way, you'll actually get a better, more powerfully transforming results.
And it looks on the outside is if you don't get the court case in your favor, but God
says, yeah, that's the manifestation.
But yet God said, yeah, but this is actually me acting.
This is me expressing my character into the world in the way that will be the most powerfully
effective.
Because of all of these other things that'll happen as a result of dah, dah, dah, dah,
In our mind, we're going to wait just a second, wait, if that's a, that's a bad outcome Lord.
So in the past, if that was that outcome, I would tell you, Lord, you're not protecting
me.
You're not providing for me.
You're not good.
You're not whatever.
And God's like, no, no, no.
Remember we're co-ruling together from a different perspective now that I'm always good.
I'm always providing, I'm always protecting.
And so that's who I am.
And you always continue to see me like that.
Even if the manifestation isn't something that you wouldn't have in the past interpreted
to verify that that is true about me, choose what that, what I say is true about me simply
because I say it not because there's this particular manifestation.
So the reason I go into all that detail is remember what we're supposed to have faith
in.
We're supposed to have faith in, in what gives us a, a, a solid assurance.
What allows us to celebrate regardless of whether there's a threat of impending doom
or whatever is, um, is B having our faith in something that doesn't move.
And that is having faith that God is who he says that he is, not that he will do what
he says he will do and not that will happen.
And it's really, really hard because we're so very attached to the outcome.
We're so attached to the point where it's hard to celebrate even a good gift that God
Because what this other bad thing is coming because so attached to what happens.
If this happens, then I feel good.
I feel protected.
Um, I feel safe.
I feel convenience as opposed to feeling inconvenienced and pain and all of this stuff.
We're so concerned that that other thing is going to happen because of that other thing
is going to happen.
It means to a few different things.
It means that, you know, God doesn't love me or God's not providing for me or God felt
that something else was more important than me or, you know, so I'm not as valuable or
that I don't know all kinds of things or that I have a knee.
I have a, I have a need to be scared because, um, you know, if this thing happens and I'm
inconvenienced and I'm disappointed and I go through pain, then it's going to, then
we feel threatened by it.
We feel threatened by, by it as a person, that it means that somehow we're not as wonderful
as, as God said that we were, and he is not as wonderful as he says that he is all because
we looked at an outcome and just didn't like it.
And I don't mean, sorry, I'm trying to figure out how to say this succinctly.
So anyway, that, that we don't like it.
We think that we put all, we project all of these meanings onto it.
And because we project these bad meanings to it because we're inconvenienced and pain
and we're disappointed, then we focus on it because we're trying so much to get our sense
of security from what happens.
And God says, if you, if you let go of those things and don't get your security from what
happens and doesn't happen in life, but rather from who I am and me always being who I told
you that I am then because I never change, then you will be unwavering in your faith
and in your feelings, regardless of what happens.
So you'll go through a storm, there'll be good things that happen and bad things that
happen, you know, and all kinds of things, but you emotionally and spiritually won't
go up and down with what happens because emotionally you're anchored in and spiritually you're
anchored in something that doesn't move.
So all this outside can move, but you're not moving because you're not focused on and affected
by.
what happens and doesn't happen.
That's one of the, one of the benefits that we get from shifting our faith,
from God doing something to actually know who is, who is God.
And that's who I have faith in.
I have faith that he is and continues to be who he said, not that he's going
to cause certain things to happen and make sure that other things don't happen.
It's really, what we're talking about is really, really, really, really,
really, really, really hard.
Really hard.
It's as hard as all of the reasons that you haven't been able to do it in certain
times and seasons up till now, and that I can't in certain areas of my life right
now, I really struggle with this stuff.
I teach this stuff.
I've done it in other areas.
And in some areas, I just am really struggling to not hold onto the outcome
because I'm getting so much security from certain outcomes in my life.
But what I'm speaking of is what Christ speaks of in scripture of like, what
we're supposed to do instead, where we're supposed to shift our focus on our faith.
Is all of that making it's, it's really, really, really hard, but yeah, it is
hard, it is making, yeah, it, it is making sense.
Um, it's just, it's been so wonderful to see like the restoration that this
kind of ruling made and how I've been able to just be like, speaking, like most
of my family are not believers, just even being able to be like, Hey, I've had so
many people pray, like nobody thought this was going to happen, but you see, God
did it, you know what I mean?
Like, it's just been like, so great to do that.
And I'm still like, Oh, and I still believe like, I know everybody says, no,
it's going to be an appeal, but I really do believe it's over, you know?
And, and then I think it's just like, maybe it's just an invitation for, from
God to, to be able to see that.
No, we actually do have this relationship, you and I as well, you know, without the
others, because I feel, I think part of my fear is because I feel like my friend
was the one who got the word.
Like, as soon as this happened, she drove with me down to the cabin to change the
locks and she's like, no, I've seen her, I've seen her hands been like cut off.
She's like, that means she's been caught in the act of stealing.
Um, she's like, it's done.
She will be exposed, you know?
And then as we were praying and declaring over there, she's like, no, it's going to
be, it's over.
Like, I heard it's over.
She's going to be known as the right, righteous judge.
She's like, I've seen the snake been cut up to pieces.
Like it is over.
You will win fully.
And even I was like, I don't think we will.
She's like, I believe you will.
We'll like, you will win fully.
Like, this is like, this is what I want.
Like, this is what God wants.
And like, I've seen this and I think so.
I think part of me is like, oh, wow.
Like it really happened what she said, you know?
And I believe I had that breakthrough, but then I think it's like still a part of me
is like, oh my gosh, like maybe now it's been taken away.
Maybe that was like attached to her, but it's like, it's my battle, you know what I
mean?
And so maybe God is just trying to teach me that also, you know, like what you're
saying, like, oh, people can come alongside.
But initially, like, whatever is your battle is your battle.
And she said that too, when we were worshiping, because I didn't know the songs.
And she was like, no, you have to find songs that you can worship too, because this is
your battle.
Like, you need to be the one who like, so yeah, so I guess it's so it makes it makes
sense.
And I think this is definitely what God is wanting me to experience more and more is
just like the relationship we have, you know, just him and me outside of like, having a
support system around, you know, like, even though that's great, but just that maybe
building experience.
And then I think I'm just scared still of like, being disappointed and around to, you
know, like, I know, I know.
Yeah, it gives you Okay, so let me say a couple of things real quick.
First of all, I know what that's like to have a friend come alongside you and get a
specific word.
I had a friend get a word for me about something that was very important to me.
But God told her not to tell me and that that she'd gotten this affirmation or this like
word from the Lord just out of the blue.
She got it for him from him.
And she said it was almost audible.
It was so it was so clear.
And so I just took it as an affirmation of everything that God had been talking to me
about and a specific promise he'd made me.
And I took it as an affirmation that, okay, look, this, this really is going to happen.
This really is.
And, but I eventually had to release all kinds of, how do I, how do I explain that?
Let me just tell you the short story and just say it didn't happen.
What it is that she felt that God had told her did not.
ought to happen. And I had my own walk with the Lord in where I felt, felt like him telling
me that it was going to happen. And I just took hers as an affirmation. I mean, she basically,
she almost heard the audible voice of God. She said it was so clear, Ashley, it might
have well, might as well have been audible. She's like, I know 100% positive that that
was the, that was the Lord. Um, but here's the, here's the interesting thing is it didn't
happen. And so what I had to do and what she and I had to work through is the fact
that I'm like, well, I trust my friend and I don't know what it was that God told her.
And, and even if he told her that what on earth that meant, if that actually did not
happen, because God doesn't say that things are going to happen. And then they don't,
he always honors his word. So I was like, Lord, I don't understand. So I'm just going
to have to release that. She had to do the same thing on her own. She said, you know,
Ashley, um, she said, I am just going to have to walk with the Lord through the fact that
I know in my own relationship with him, that's what he said. But if it didn't happen, then
she's like, do I hear from the Lord? She's like, I'm really having to like question all
kinds of things. Then if, if I was that certain and I make, and I act on things that I thought
God told me that I don't, that, that don't even, that I just get a sense of, and then
aren't even that clear. Am I even right in those things? Am I really hearing from the
Lord? You know, so it just like really, and she just, but, but what she had to do and
what I had to do as well is okay. Well, regardless of what happened, regardless of how things
manifested God, who are you? And I have to be just solid and sure of who it is that I
know that he is and have a relationship with that being and not be thrown off course and,
and have my faith shaken. That's what I'm trying to say. Have my faith shaken by the
fact that something that we both felt we were explicitly told by the Lord over a very long
period of time in dozens and dozens and dozens of ways. We're not talking about like, oh,
we're taking this line here and we're just building this whole doctrine off of it. It
was affirmed over and over and over and over and over and over again. And it didn't happen.
So, um, I just, uh, I've just had to release it and like, Lord, I choose you not what you
say is going to happen or not what I thought you said was going to happen or, or whatever
I choose that. And I don't understand Lord. I it's a mystery to me between the spirit world
and the manifestations that don't seem to align with what it is that you say and what it is that
I know about the spirit world. So if all of this is confusing, instead of making a doctrine about
you off of all of this stuff, that doesn't seem to line up with what you said, I'm choosing to
abandon manifestations to tell me anything and I'm choosing you completely. So I know what that's
like of what you're talking about and how challenging that is to navigate, especially
in my situation where it didn't happen. And it wasn't even just like it was her. It was what
God told her. God had told me separately and we didn't talk about it for six months. And then
finally she found out that God had told me that. And she's like, okay, now I know that God can,
that God, I can now share with you that God told me that about you six months ago in an almost
audible voice. And we didn't even know that each other were talking about, uh, talking about that
or thinking about that or praying about that between us and the Lord. So, so anyway, it's
very, very, so my point is super hard. Yeah, it was very hard, but it wasn't as hard as I would
have. It was hard, but it wasn't as hard as I would have, as it would have been, had I not
been where I was with the Lord at the time where I just knew by that time, I have to abandon the
manifestations because by the time that it didn't happen, I had already gone through, for instance,
that time in Venice where I've been, I've been, you know, God had always quote unquote shown up
with a particular manifestation. And all of a sudden the manifestation stopped and I'm like,
and I'm really having to face, which do I pick? Do I, am I going to pick the manifestation or am
I going to pick God? And if the manifestation doesn't happen because God creates it, am I
going to choose to create it on my own in order to do that? I have to abandon God. And I chose
instead God, instead of abandoning him in order to work for or control the manifestation.
And that's what I chose. And so by the time that this whole thing came out where it didn't happen,
then that happened, I don't know, several months after.
Well, not several, but a few months after, it wasn't even a year.
It was a few months after that thing happened in Venice.
By that time, God had walked me through having chosen him and believing him instead of how
things worked out over and over and over again to the point where by the time this one happened,
which was a really big deal to me and a really big deal to both of us, and we felt like we'd
gotten dozens and dozens and dozens of affirmations for it.
By that time, I could let go of something that had a potential of a terrible stronghold
in my life.
I was able to let go of it more easily because I'd had practice in letting go of all of these
other areas.
So it was more easy.
But the point is I've had to do it.
So when I tell you that this is how I've learned that God is instructing us to do it, I'm telling
you this in light of living it myself and knowing how hard it is, as opposed to, oh,
theoretically, this is what God says, and I'm sorry you're in that situation, Annette,
and I've been in a little situation, but I know that God's bigger than that, and this
is what you need to believe for yours.
I'm telling you, having actually walked in my own way, my own experiences, whatever,
it wasn't a court case.
I've had a court case where I had to walk through that with the Lord, but the particular
example that I'm giving right now isn't a court case, but it was a very big deal.
And the reason that it was a big deal was because it emotionally had me like this, just
like the court case emotionally has you.
And so the whole point, the reason that it makes everything so strong and creates such
a stronghold in our life is the authority and the power that we give it.
And it's that hard to release something that we have grabbed ahold of that hard.
So I just wanted to let you know, it is possible and it is just as hard as you're feeling it
is.
So don't make yourself up about it and get frustrated and be like, okay, well, you know,
Lord, this is really hard.
What you're asking.
He knows.
That's why he encourages you to such an extent and tries to give you, give you encouragement
through things like having it work out, you know, the first, all of that, and, and giving
you a friend that can, that I'm heard that, and that you can get encouragement from hearing
those signs that those prophetic signs and whatever, and because he's pouring into you,
but there's still always a measure of, of huge risk.
There's never complete certainty.
I mean, with all of the encouragement that he'll give you, there's never a point where
it'll take care of all of the, all of the questions.
And there you'll still be left with a huge risk that you have to make at the end of just
making it.
And so one of the things that I'd encourage you to do is as a way of stepping out in faith
that, okay, Lord, if this is what you're wanting me to do, here's an action that I can take
is to really, truly let go of any potential threat of it happening.
Not denying that it could happen.
Because again, like what we're talking about, if you choose something and you deny the possibility
of this thing over here, you're not really choosing it because you're like, oh, well,
it's only if this isn't a possibility that I can actually choose this.
No fully realizing, no, that is actually a potential possibility that this could happen
in the face of that, Lord, I am fully celebrating what it is that you did.
I don't know what you're going to do about this.
The appeal.
I don't know if you're going to allow it to go through.
I don't know if you're going to allow a judge to accept it because just because they appeal
doesn't mean a judge.
Well, at least if your system in Norway works like America, just because you appeal,
doesn't mean that it's valid enough for a judge to accept that as a, yeah, to, to appeal.
It's like, well, yeah, but that's not enough new evidence.
You know?
Yeah.
So anyway, so just because they appeal, it's kind of like impeachment, just because a president
is impeached doesn't mean he gets kicked out.
It just means that he's, I mean, president Clinton was impeached and he wasn't kicked out.
So there's all of these, these steps that have to happen before something goes through.
But anyway, the point is that you fully celebrate regardless of if that threat,
if that potential threat really does happen.
It's fully writing in light of the fact that it could very well happen.
And then you, because here's the thing you were then choosing, Lord, I fully received
the gift you're giving me as opposed to what I have conditions on receiving it.
And so it's a practice of receipt.
Everything.
It is that God wants to give us because there's stuff that comes with it.
Not just the gift that he gave you of the, how the court case where it worked out,
but also aspects of himself that you'll receive when you fully receive what he gave you.
There's aspects of himself and his relationship with you and your intimacy
and his intimacy with you that you'll receive when you fully receive what he did.
Yeah.
The other thing ends up happening and the appeal.
And even if, and let's just talk about worst case scenario,
even if it is appealed and then it's overturned.
It's like, it doesn't, it's like fully celebrating what it is that God did and expressed of himself
and gave you of him, not what, not what he caused to happen, but what he gave of himself
to you in expressing those things to you by having the court case work out the way it
did and all of that.
Even if it were to be overturned later, it doesn't nullify and, um, and neutralize or
completely abolish what he did.
He was trying to communicate and express and give you an aspect of himself.
And that can't ever be taken away from you.
Even if worst case scenario should ever happen, which I don't expect at all, but I'm just
saying that even if we have to make these steps of faith, we have to choose God in light
of the worst possible thing happening, keeping that in mind as a real possibility.
And in the face of that possibility, making the choice that is that I'm telling you is
not just like, Oh, that's me being obedient.
No, it's more than that.
That is such a powerful decision that it literally, there's an aspect of creation in the spirit,
in the spirit world, in the soul world, and in the, in the physical creation that literally
shapes because that, that decision that you make is that powerful.
I wish I knew how to describe that, but it's more than you simply being obedient.
Well, this is what God asked me.
No, it's a powerful, it's a, uh, by doing that, there's a way that you are operating.
There's some authority and, and power that you are using at that moment that sets out
a decree as a king into your kingdom.
And all you did was you chose to receive what God gave you that acts like a powerful decree
in your kingdom.
And it literally reverberates throughout your kingdom in, um, uh, in, in the, in the soul
realm, in the body realm, bringing the spirit in, I don't know how to describe it any better,
but it just, it's, it literally, it's like everything quakes as a result of you making
that decision.
So it's very powerful.
It's not just simply, okay, God, I'm so sorry.
I'm going to try to be obedient.
It's it's a powerful decision that affects creation simply because she made that choice.
And then other things can happen as a result in the future of you making that choice now.
Anyway.
Yeah.
I hope that what I was saying made sense, uh, because I really did see a lot there and
I didn't have a, anyway, so no, it really helps.
And it's like, I'm, I'm going to choose that and I have chosen it and I will continue to
choose it regardless of like, maybe not feeling it.
Cause I think it's just been gone on for such a long time that it's like, I was even like,
God, I'm like, I'm so grateful, but I can't feel it.
Like I can't connect to my feelings because I'm just like, I'm so exhausted.
It's been a lasting for such a long time.
Like I can't even celebrate, you know, but I can choose to like celebrate without feeling
the feeling of like,
No feeling, no logic, not, not in a way.
What I always talk about feelings, what I always connect feelings with is our belief.
You may not believe it.
You may not, um, you may not logically, it may not make any logical sense, but you make
a willful decision that it's true anyway.
And God honors that because he's like, she chose me over herself.
She chose the fact that I said it over the fact that she doesn't believe it over the
fact that she didn't feel it over the fact that it does not make logical sense.
So in his mind, what you did is you chose him over yourself and that self-sacrifice,
um, uh, anyway, and that's being a living sacrifice, et cetera.
And that'll make a really powerful thing.
So that's a way that you can act on faith, um, by like choosing to celebrate, choosing
to do that, choosing to fully receive.
Even when you don't feel like it.
And then for the rest of the feeling, I know you're tired.
There is a way to make that intentional and willful decision and let it all go.
We're not talking about that requires exerted effort because remember you don't feel it
and you don't logically believe that it logically see how it's true.
So we're not talking about a faith that, Oh my goodness, you know, I'm just exhausted,
but I got to exert a bit more effort to have faith.
We're not taught that still strife.
Faith is a gift.
Just make a willful decision.
God, you made me, you gave me a free will to make a decision.
And by that free will, I may, I completely deny, not, not deny the reality, but deny
as in like, um, don't allow, don't give permission to my feelings, my logic to rule
this current situation.
Instead, I choose my free.
will and, and intention and decision to rule the situation.
And I decide that what you said is true.
And then, and then you just let go of your feelings and your
logic, instead of trying to make what God's make them reconcile
with what God said, you don't need to try to get your feelings
and your logic to reconcile with God.
It'll naturally happen over time because you made the choice
that what God said is true.
Then allow God, then that will allow God's power to
transform you naturally.
We can feel exhausted when we think on my word, I'm supposed
to have faith when I'm tired, then, then it, then we're
going about it all wrong.
There's no effort and exertion needed.
When, in order to have faith, you have faith, you make a willful
intentional decision about something, and then you allow God to eventually
change your feelings and your logic.
It'll happen naturally.
You don't have to exert any effort and energy to trying to get them to
change and to reconcile and to align with God, talk to them, you know,
encourage them to do that, meaning your body and your soul, talk to them,
encourage them to do that, but don't try to get them to do that.
Let it happen because you chose instead of your feelings and your
logic, you chose your free will instead.
And you said, that is what's going to rule.
And this is what I've decided.
And so that will bring in God's power and authority to, uh, to transform your
soul and your body without you trying.
So we'll take it.
So I'm glad that you brought up the fact that you're tired so that I could
explain, there's not supposed to be effort, even in trying to get yourself
to come along with, uh, like the whole, whole rest of you to come along with the
party, they'll change over time.
So in fact, they'll usually change within a few days.
Depends on how difficult the situation is.
But I would imagine that for you with continually just making the willful
intentional decision that that your free will is what's making is going to act as
a King to line up with what's what's your spirit says, then your soul, what
you've done is you've willfully put your soul and your body into submission to
being ruled and you just allow the change to happen and to take place instead of
strong arming them to come into alignment.
That takes energy and you don't need to do that.
And it happened within a few days to maybe a week or so.
Cool.
Yeah.
Thank you so much.
Just like with the weight, right?
Yes.
Yeah.
Like, yeah, exactly.
Oh, thank you so much.
I love this.
Such a good, that was a lot, but I hope it was, but I know that what you're going
through is really, really challenging.
And I just wanted, and I wanted you to leave encouraged and that as hard as the
choice that is to make, at least it's supposed to be effortless without strife.
You have to, you have to make that risk of disappointment.
You have to risk yourself, but there's no strife in it, but it's hard to make that
decision because you feel like you're putting yourself in a vulnerable position
to be disappointed or hurt by God.
And you have to choose his goodness over the fact that you could get hurt anyway.
But yeah.
So Priscilla, how are you?
She's trying to get a present.
I'm so excited.
You got a little boy on the sideline.
We're having a baby.
That was so cute.
So cute.
I thought that was cute.
That was the cutest.
Can't tell any.
I loved it.
I know you don't have, I know you don't have Instagram Ashley, but I put a, I put
a video of him up the other day.
You have to see it because it's so stinking cute and it's really short here.
Let me see.
I do have Instagram.
I'm just not on there much.
So the only way that it gets populated is because it's connected to my Facebook.
So whenever I do or videos, it'll naturally populate.
But other than that, I never get here.
This was him the other day.
That baby, that one.
Why, what is it?
Why, why do you want that baby?
What did he say?
He keeps saying, I want to get that baby.
Yeah.
And what was the last thing when Arnold asked him?
He's like, why, what did he say?
He just said he wants to get that baby again.
I want that one.
No, I would get that one.
Yeah.
Okay.
You guys need to go outside and put jackets on and shoes and socks.
Well, then you need to be quiet.
Okay.
It's yeah.
It's like 64 today.
I think a high of 64.
Yeah.
Um,
Um, Monty, please be quiet.
Yeah.
Today has been day one of the cleanse.
And so I felt a lot of ragey emotions.
Um, and I keep telling myself, I know that it's just because I have not
eaten anything except like muddy protein shake three of them today.
Um, but yeah, so I feel like my brain is not functioning correctly today.
Go.
Thank you.
Um, but yeah.
Um, so I feel like, um, your messages were very, very helpful by the way.
And I feel, uh, I don't know if you, did you listen to my last voice message?
Okay.
Yeah.
So then I was like, oh shoot, should I be doing this cleanse?
And yet, like, I feel, I feel fine doing the cleanse.
So I don't know.
Yeah.
I mean, why shouldn't she do the cleanse?
Well, I think, I think it was more just like, oh, well, like, I think sometimes
I struggle with knowing the balance between like taking things into my own
hands through like doing, okay.
So like this last year I've been doing like a ton of supplements and working
with a functional medicine doctor and like trying to, um, Figure some things
out and I've been taking some different supplements that I do feel like I've
been helping, um, but yeah, when I stepped on the scale this morning, I'm
like, oh my word, like I was about five pounds heavier than I was last time.
I weighed myself.
I'm like, what in the world?
And in one way, I feel like I'm able to just kind of like stand outside of myself
and be like, oh, that's really fascinating.
I wonder why I'm gaining so much weight.
And then the other part of me is like, oh my word, I'm going to lose my mind.
I can't believe that I'm this heavy and I'm never this heavy
unless I'm like almost do.
Oh, so I don't even know.
I don't even know where the weight is all coming from or, and I
can't even figure it out either.
Like, I don't feel like when I look at myself, I'm like, oh wow, I'm so huge.
But I do know that when I look at old pictures of myself, I'm like, wow.
Um, I was a lot scarier back then.
So can you please go get some books or something and sit on the couch?
Okay.
You can either choose to do that, or you can choose to spend your quiet
time on the recliner with no books.
What do you remember what I saw?
Now is not the time to ask me a question.
Yes.
You can ask me after the call.
What's um, would you hear what I said?
I'll answer your question as soon as I'm done with the call.
Go find your books.
Thank you.
Um, so anyway, very well.
I don't even remember what I was talking about.
Well, you don't know where the weight is coming from.
And yes, yes.
So I feel like, honestly, I feel like very at rest in, in my spirit.
And like, I feel like, you know what?
I think this journey with my health and my weight is actually something that I can
rest and trust the Lord with, and I don't have to be worried.
And I think the biggest thing that I've been like focusing on right now is first
of all, that I'm loved by God and that like in my spirit, I can't sin and that
I'm fully and wholly loved by him.
And I feel almost like, well, like last night I finally had some time alone with
the Lord and I felt like it was a new level of vulnerability and intimacy with
him than I have known before, which is very, yeah, last night.
Yeah.
So, and it wasn't like, it wasn't like, um, I can really put it into words or
like, I was like screaming in tongues or anything like that.
It was more just like this deep knowing of like, I, like I am the Lord and I are
so one and I felt like not anxious about life.
Um, I think the biggest thing that's always in the back of my mind, I know
this whole business thing, I feel like a giant eye roll with the way
that I struggle with my business.
But I think that's the biggest thing for me right now is like, I'm so, whenever
I think of my business, I do feel very heavy and I keep trying to think of
like, okay, like how can I connect with my team and, and I was thinking about
some things I'm like, you know what?
Maybe I could just have like a zoom call where I invite them
all and we just hang out.
Like, it's more like get to know you.
And I could ask fun questions, not like business stuff, but get to know you and
talk about the Lord and, you know, um, different things like that.
But then at the same time, I feel like whenever I try to think of my
business, I just feel muddled.
Like I feel confused.
I feel anxious and I am not sure like what's going on.
I don't.
feel inspired, put it that way. Um, and even when you think about doing that zoom call thing,
because it's busy. Yeah, because no, it's not about like, yes, even I'm just like,
and so I did have, so when I, I feel like when things really actually started shifting for me
was when Arnold and I had a conversation, this was probably like two months ago where
I just like, I mean, I've had several breakdowns like this, but this was one of them. And I was
like crying and sobbing and just telling him like how overwhelmed I feel with life and how I feel
like trapped in my business because all of a sudden it's become this beast that pays our bills
and I have to keep feeding it or it won't pay our bills, you know? And, um, and it's gotten to the
place too, where like Arnold doesn't have to work as much, but it's almost like he can't work as
much because he's like constantly having to come to my rescue, whether emotionally or physically.
And so on the outside, I was like, Oh, it's amazing. Like look, Arnold barely has to work.
And I'm like, yeah, yay. Um, but, and in that conversation, he's like, you know, I feel like
we've come to a place in our marriage where we're like, you know what? We both feel peace with no
matter where our finances are. We know that we're going to love each other and we're going to love
our kids and we're going to be okay. But something he said in that conversation, he said, you know,
if I have to go and like get a really steady job in order to make any, like, I'll do that.
And I felt like a sense of security and safety and like I relaxed. And I feel like ever since then,
I have been having these breakthroughs, like what I was telling you guys about and all the things
that I've written down. And, but there's still something inside of me that like, I'm afraid of
doing anything besides what we're doing right now, because I think I'm afraid of a change in
financial status. And when I take away all the money stuff, I feel like I can dream and be like,
Oh, like, I wonder what would actually happen. Like if I wouldn't be like,
tied down to this business and like Arnold and I could like dream and, you know, whatever, I wonder
like what would happen. And then the other part of me is like, so scared that I don't even want
to think about it because what if, what if all our money would go out the window? What if the
Lord wants us to be poor? And so like, these are still the things that I am like wrestling through
and I don't, yeah, I guess it's still an area that I need breakthrough in. Yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah, that makes sense. So interestingly I went through that as well with that whole aspect of,
of how to, how do I put it? Where I was feeling pressure with, with you know, with the inner,
his rest ministries, I was feeling pressure, even though I was trying to not feel pressure
because when Ed left his ministry job and we didn't know what we were going to do when we came
here to Dallas. And so now he has a job, but the thing is we didn't have that in the wings. When
we came, we didn't know what we were going to do. And so I just told him, I said, you know what,
the Lord has always taken care of us through he's always taken care of me. And and so I know that,
you know, because that's who he is, meaning that's who God is. He's always going to, he's going to
continue to take care of us now that, you know, even though now we're married and it's not just
me, it's just is because that's who God is, but we got here and there was an aspect in which as
much as I tried, and this is me just being very honest because it's just, I mean, this is us being
people and struggling in our own relationship, the Lord to try to do what he tells us to do.
In other words, have faith and believe in him as he tells us to. And that's just honestly
struggling with the fact that it is hard and there's reasons why we don't and why there,
why we try to, to rely on the world systems instead. And my point is we didn't have many
coming in and I just from, you know, any job that, that, that we had other than my ministry.
And so I was just trying to, I was trying to rely on the Lord to be the one to bring people
to, you know, bring in finances and all of that, bring people into the programs, you know, et cetera.
But there was something that Ed noticed it as well, because he's very spiritually sensitive.
And so he began to sense that I was feeling a pressure. I was feeling the pressure of being
the breadwinner. I was trying really hard not to, because we all know that God is supposed to take
care of.
this and we're supposed to rely on him.
And it's, you know, period, whether it's a business or it's a ministry.
And technically my ministry is a business.
It's an LLC, but you know, the thing is it's, it's spiritual.
It's not, it's not skincare.
It's like the whole thing is like God, you know, you were talking about like
being concerned about like using God to like bring people in, you know, that is
something that I have to, that I have a tendency to like have doubted myself
about before I'm like, oh my word, am I using God?
And I'm like, actually, that's stupid.
This is your whole thing is to help people connect with the Lord.
So what are you talking about?
You're afraid that you're using God, you know, but it is a fear that'll come up
or that the enemy will try to attack me with or whatever.
So everything that you were saying, I just totally related to.
So anyway, my point is.
My husband, just like Arnold, you know, for you, it just sensed this, this, this
pressure that I was feeling of being the breadwinner I was trying so hard not to,
but I still was battling with that fleshly part of myself that the aspect of myself
that was still an unbelief is God really that good is really going to protect me.
What does God want from me?
You know, that kind of thing.
What does God expect of me?
And so what Ed did is he said, Ashley, I don't want you to ever.
He didn't want me to ever be tempted to feel that way about my ministry.
He wants everything to just flow out of who it is that I am and to offer to other
people just, uh, what it is that I live out of my spirit.
Not something that I hear somebody crying.
Yeah.
I just want to make sure I didn't.
So let me, that's right.
That's right.
Is everything okay.
What happened?
She has three kids.
Yeah.
Uh, I think, Oh, I don't remember if Monty's seven or eight, maybe he's eight.
Gwen is seven, seven, right.
Gwen is five and Lori is two.
So yeah.
Or two, maybe almost three.
Anyway, so I was feeling all that pressure and whatever.
So what Ed did is he said, you know, I said, I never want you to feel that
about, about your ministry.
He's that I always, you need to be pouring into other people without, without being.
Without feeling any kind of pressure that there's a return that you need to be
getting.
And, um, and he said, so he said, what I'm going to do is he's, I want you to
explore that with the Lord and just release yourself again into rest.
Um, because I was struggling.
I was not in rest.
And I knew I was supposed to be, but I was struggling to figure
out how I was struggling to do it.
Why?
Because I was still, you know, like you and it talking about, you know, this,
this whole thing about the outcome we just have, it's where we've been getting
so much of our security from, and we're trying so hard in faith to untangle
ourselves from it and to let it go.
But we all still struggle with it, including me.
So including in my ministry about rest, I was an unrest in my ministry about
and so these things, they're just real.
They're just, it's just the way it is.
And so anyway, so he knew that and he said, Ashley, I want you to release that.
He said, so I'm going to go get a job and I'm going to get a job.
And the reason that he, it wasn't that he wasn't normally going to get a job.
It's that from everything that he had just gone through, we both felt that our
highest priority needed to be him.
To rest and not rest is in like the spiritual sense rest is in physically,
emotionally, mentally, everything.
And we didn't, and I didn't want him to have any obligations like that.
Um, I wanted him to just be able to pull away from any external obligations
and just focus on him and the Lord.
He needed a lot of healing because some stuff that had happened, you know,
in ministry and all of that he needed, he needed his own healing
and to connect with the Lord.
So we were going to focus on that.
But when Ed saw the struggles that I was going through, he couldn't handle it.
Even though I was trying to like.
Keep my head above water and have faith and do it all in the right attitude.
I was still struggling.
Ed couldn't handle it.
And he's like, no, Ashley, this is what I think we need to do.
I need to go get a job.
We'll not delay my healing, you know, the Lord Ed's healing, but he's just like,
I just felt that this is what God has for us right now.
And that there are some things that God wants to do in your life.
So he said, that's what we're going to do.
And I was like, okay.
So he got a job, um, and, uh, a job was actually offered to him.
And so we both felt from the Lord that he was supposed to take it up, even
though originally we both strongly felt from the Lord, he wasn't supposed to work.
So we didn't work for a time, but by the time this opportunity came, both of us,
God had to change our hearts and show us that this was actually from God.
And so God, Ed took that on my point and telling you all.
of that story is to let you know, I can relate to what you're talking about.
I, I felt this release and Ed watched it as well.
He watched that.
I no longer felt I was under that same pressure and God began to do a deeper
work in me to began to heal me and to shift me back into rest in my ministry.
And rest in and not, and not be worried about, well, how many people are coming
in and am I doing it right?
And how am I like marketing it?
Like, am I letting people know what it's actually like and that it actually, you
know, can answer their questions or is this not resonating with people or in
other words, trying to get it to work so that people, and so that people understand
that I'm offering what it is that they're looking for.
And, you know, all of these things, instead of like, Hey, just be me and
just let God do his work and attract to attract who it is that he wants to attract.
I kept falling into this thing of like, Oh, am I not, if God wasn't attracting
them, I'm like, Oh, is it not resonating with people?
How do I need to word it differently?
So that it actually, people actually hear.
Uh, my, the answers to their questions, you know, so that they realize I really
can't answer the questions that they're having or the struggles that they're
going through or, you know, whatever.
And, and we call it, you know, is it working or is it not working?
Um, and, uh, so anyway, I was struggling with the same thing, but as soon as, as
Ed took that on, um, I was, I immediately felt the pressure release and then I
could open myself up again and then I could start feel, feeling who it is that
I was and just let God operate from that place.
So just like you, you were feeling that that's when you started
to get all those breakthroughs.
Here's my point.
My husband did the same thing for me in the physical that Arnold was
saying that you, he could do for you.
And even, and I felt that what you felt all of a sudden that pressure release.
The point is that we can choose that even without our husband's
going through that process.
Our husband's going through that process is something that we more easily, uh,
can connect with and recognize and grab ahold of to finally be able to let go
because they're, they're now, instead of our security being in what, in what
we're bringing in, we still have the security of what they're bringing in.
Um, so it's still like a, in a worldly sense that our security is
still coming from the same thing.
The point is it's easier for sometimes for when that happens in the natural
for us to start opening and, and letting go over here and being able to be healed
by the Lord and shift into rest and all of that, but God offers us the opportunity
to all, to do that, even if our husbands don't do this.
Um, so it just, the fact that when he does that, when, like when Arnold said
that he would, would do that and he was willing to do that, you immediately
felt the pressure release.
You have that available to you literally at any moment where God's like, let
me be the husband that is going to take care of you, you know, and you can let go.
And here's the thing.
When you let go, we think that we're holding it all together.
We think that we're holding it up.
We're keeping the business working.
We're keeping it all together.
But God's like, no, how did that start?
It started because you free flowed out of your spirit.
So he just wants you to return back to that free flow of your spirit so
that he can sustain the business.
So anything that you create, um, out of your flesh, you have to sustain.
But anything that, that you create out of your spirit, God sustains
effortlessly, you know, without you.
So anyway, just to let, give us the encouragement to know we can have that
sense of release where we can feel open enough to dream again.
And to be ourselves, we can get that security from looking to God as our
husband, to be the one, to provide that supply and be that provision.
It's hard to make that transition.
So I understand that I'm saying all of this very quickly, but I'm just making,
making the point that that is, at least we know just cause we've seen it in the
physical, we know that that's possible in the spiritual with the physical husband.
We know it's possible in the spirit with the spiritual husband as well.
So that is great that you now have that where Arnold said that he can do that.
So you can ask the Lord.
Okay, Lord, can you help me let go a bit more and just start dreaming again,
instead of feeling like I have to take on the control of controlling the outcome.
I've got to keep all of this up.
I have this structure that's been created and I have to maintain it, you know, but
instead let it go, stop trying to maintain it.
And just in dream again and start thinking, okay.
And start acting on what feels good.
What feels right.
What do I want?
You know, that kind of a thing.
Anyway.
So I've talked a lot.
What are your thoughts?
Yeah, no, I know what you're.
saying. Um, and I feel like, I almost feel like I would have
maybe walked in that more in the past than I am right now. Like
just understanding. I know at one time I was very intentional
with just like, believing that the Lord is my provision. It's
not my bank account. It's not fund. It's not how much I work.
It's not how far I am like it is the Lord. And I don't know
somewhere along the way, I started freaking out again, and
I'm not sure when that happened. And
well, partly it's be similar to the idea that people that are
poor have a tendency to be more generous than people that have
money. And so when they're when they're poor, then they don't
have anything, they have to rely on the Lord all the time. So
they're very freely, you know, generous with their time and
their food and their money and whatever, just doing whatever it
is that they can for other people. But when they start
getting money, then all of a sudden their security they over
time, they don't mean to but their security begin, they begin
to transition their security and their dependence and their
reliance on on their money because they have it. And you'll
find that a lot of people are less generous, the more money
that they make. Now, there are we know a lot of people who are
very wealthy and very generous. So I'm not saying that this is
this blanket rule I'm just talking about in generalities.
And it's so that makes sense that earlier, you know, it was a
lot easier for you to do it because you had to in so many
areas. And then when you start having something that you can
expect, then we unintentionally start transferring our
dependence on an expectation. Because, well, this is how life
works. Now, life works like this. So I can always expect it.
And then all of a sudden, you start trying to think about,
well, what would happen if it wasn't there? You know, we start
losing it. So no, all of that makes complete sense. It's all
very normal.
I think I think one thing even just like, if I just think about
something that I would desire to do right now, as far as like
money goes is, I feel like I would, I feel like up till now,
Arnold and I have just been kind of like winging it and just kind
of going with whatever happens in life. And I think we haven't
really communicated about like, what do we want? You know what I
mean? Or even like, I feel like whenever I'm processing
finances, it's usually like, I'll share something with
Arnold, and he'll be like, Oh, yeah, that's great. You know,
he's, he's happy to hear anything that's going on in my
head about like finances or like freedom I'm finding. And I feel
like I am desiring, like a partnership. It often just feels
like my business and an Arnold life, or you know what I mean?
Like, it doesn't, it feels like my business and Arnold don't
connect. And in a way they do, because Arnold's been so
supportive and whatever. But in another way, I feel like it's
still something that I do mainly on my own. And I don't know if
it's coming out right, but more like, I would like for Arnold
and I to be able to sit down and be like, this is what we're
wanting for our life and working towards together. Yes.
But at the same time to where I also, I feel like we're
partnering together also in like the fact that if our bank
account looks a little crazy, or like, I don't know, that we
would both be I don't know how you I feel like my brain cells
died with the last cleanse thing that I did. In other words,
like shared responsibility, like, I think it's more I think
it's more a shared vision. Actually, I think you're frozen
for some reason your video is shared vision like to where
other you are again, shared vision to where we're like, you
know what, we're working Yeah, I guess shared vision and shared
responsibility to where we're working together, and very
together in decisions and even just like, I want him to be able
to own it as much as me when it comes to, we're going to build
our life and our family on our faith and our values. And he is
he does. I know he wants that. But I feel like we haven't
really declared that together fully. I always feel like I'm
the one spearheading that.
Yeah, I understand. Yeah. In fact, you talked about this
before. It's been on your heart for a while.
So yeah, I don't know. Whenever I think of
trying
I just feel like right now it looks impossible
to feel like inspired in my business again.
And another thing that kind of weighs over my head
is like, there's this spa trip, you know,
that we work towards every year.
And I feel like I've always like used that as a way
to tell myself that I'm still doing well
is when I'm like earning that spa trip, you know.
And this year I have no desire to earn the spa trip.
I don't want to earn it.
I don't want to try to earn it.
And I am like, wow, is this the year that I fail?
You know, and I don't know what to do with that.
Like, I know that I'm somebody that needs inspiration
and I need a purpose.
And like, I feel like I just can't live
if I don't have a purpose or like something
that I feel like is growing, you know, in my life.
I'm just so terrified of, yeah, I don't know.
I don't know if any of this makes sense.
Yeah.
No, it does.
And when I'm giving you all these examples
from my own life, I'm trying to let you know
that I understand where it is that you are
and how that feels and to give you encouragement
that I've walked that path.
And this is what it looks like for me
to give you hope on the other side.
So I have, I went through the same thing, you know,
I was telling you all of that process that I went through.
Well, part of the healing process, you know,
I got a job, I went through this healing process.
Part of it was exploring in my flesh though.
I tried so hard to do it in my spirit,
but now that I look back, I'm like, no, that was my flesh.
I was again, trying to spark motivation in myself
so that something would work.
It's like, okay, well, what is it really that I wanna do?
Do I wanna do another rest intensive?
Do I wanna do, you know, that's all I've ever done
or do I wanna do, and then finally I came up with the idea
because Ed's talked to me about it.
Well, why don't do something different?
Well, if I do something different,
what would that look like?
You know, and I really went through a very major process
for several months.
Now I'm not saying that it's gonna take you that long.
I'm just letting you know,
I know what it's like to be where you are
and to wrestle with it over a period of time.
Cause that's where we get weary.
That's where we start feeling hopeless.
It's like, oh my word, this Dagen thing keeps going.
It doesn't stop.
Will I ever get to the end?
Is there ever hope?
And so anyway, I did that for a long time.
And then finally I just felt from the Lord.
I was like, oh my word,
I'm supposed to talk about breakthrough.
Okay, I've never done that before.
Well, that means that I've got,
that even though I've talked about
bits of breakthrough before,
I need to take the bits that I've talked about
and I need to flush it out into a whole program
in order to help people, you know, dah, dah, dah, dah.
And so I really finally felt the Lord on that.
And it took me a few, several months to get to the point
where I know where I got that from the Lord.
Where I got down into what's really in me
and co-counseling with the Lord
and hearing what he wanted, what his ideas were.
And his ideas was something that was already in me.
It wasn't like this thing out here,
like, hey, Ashley, I want you to try something
that's really hard
and that you're just not motivated by and blah, blah, blah.
It was something that he told me about.
And I'm like, oh my word, I already have that within me.
In fact, I've done,
I've walked through breakthrough with the Lord
much longer than I've walked through knowing about rest.
So I'm like, okay, well,
I've just never taught about it before.
Like, okay, here we go.
So, but notice what happened.
The, you know, as talking about outcomes.
So I'm thinking, oh my word, this is from the Lord.
This is just so great, you know?
And then I put it out there and just,
I get lots of people who like what it is that I do,
but they don't, they don't take a step.
They don't actually join the program.
You know, they just like the, would like my posts
and oh, actually it's so great.
And they share it.
So it's resonating with people that they're not,
they're not feeling like some sense of connection with it.
And so what ended up, what ended up happening,
what ended up happening was, you know,
both of y'all thought it resonated with y'all
and y'all spirit.
And then y'all, God drew y'all.
And so the thing is that what,
that this is the process that I've been through.
Because when I, when I had two people, I thought,
well, Lord, I began to question all kinds of things.
Did I hear from the Lord?
Is this actually not what the Lord wanted?
Because it looks like people don't want this.
I mean, two people wanted it,
but all these other people didn't want it.
So does that mean that what it is that I have,
that I'm offering is actually not sanctioned by the Lord,
that he doesn't want it, you know, whatever.
And then finally I realized, and Ed told me the same thing.
He's like, Ashley, God is doing something in you.
He's wanting to basically, Ashley, gift you himself.
He wants to,
and so you're going to go through this process, Ashley,
you know, with, and with him,
and that's really what you're doing.
You were just, and, and, you know, through this program,
you're, you and the Lord are,
or learning, you are healing and you were learning things, um, about you and the Lord
and the stuff is going to come out and whatever.
So one of the things, so what it's done is during this time of marketing the program
and starting the program and going through the program with y'all, I've been on my own
journey with the Lord, where the Lord has began to just reconnect me with my real true
self and my spirit so that I can get a bigger and a greater and a broader sense of who it
is that I am now with him so that I can now live from that place and I can now build a
ministry or a business out of who it is that I am now, not the me that started it three
years ago or four years ago, however long it's been, you know, it's almost three and
a half, something like that, you know, cause I'm different now.
So my point is that this transition period, you know, that you go through in your business
where it's like, something doesn't feel quite right anymore.
Now yours on the other hand has been, you know, it looks successful, but you're internally
struggling with it.
You're just like, oh my word, it's this beast that I just can't get away from me.
I just pull the plug whenever it gets too much for me.
And I like will escape and hide and people will be like, actually, we don't hear from
you.
We haven't heard from you for the past few months.
I'm like, yeah, that's because I pulled away.
So yours is a bit different in the fact that you can't do that.
But the thing is, I know what that feels like.
And I just have to pull the plug and just walk away when everything gets to be too much.
So it's almost like whenever I jump back in, it's like, I'm almost like starting over again.
So my point is God takes us on these journeys that feel very challenging and pressurized
where we're going through this transition, like, like a woman does in labor where we're
going, nothing feels right.
Things don't feel, you know, you know, like you, Priscilla, you know, my business just
doesn't feel right anymore.
It doesn't feel like me.
It feels hard.
It feels like work.
What used to motivate me doesn't motivate me anymore, et cetera, where you're different.
You've changed.
You've matured.
You've grown.
You now have more to offer than you did back then when you started, but you have to connect
with the different that you are now and offer that.
And how do you do that?
If it's so different that the structure that's currently there that you're trying to maintain
has to be maintained with the old you, not with the new you and what's going to happen
when you insert the new you, you know part of it is you have to find the new you.
And then part of it is just that risk of like, well, what's going to happen to the existing
structure when I add the new, when I add the new, when, you know, when I add the new me
but though it's all, it's scary, but just, just think of this as begin to make this transition
with the Lord.
And this is hard, but begin to make this transition with the Lord from, from choosing the outcome,
meaning like that provision from the business and choose instead God that he be who he says
that he is, that he be that into your life, that your life literally is created and designed
by his character manifesting itself in your life.
And that it's designed by the manifestation of you being who it is that you are.
And then just seeing what happens.
And it feels bad and it feels scary because it's like, well, I don't know who I am and
therefore I don't know what's going to happen when I insert the real me into the world.
What's going to happen when I insert the real me into the business, you know, is everything
going to fall apart?
Is it going to destroy it?
Is it going to whatever?
And so you kind of, so basically it's like what I was telling, you know, Annette, we
have to risk the outcome.
We have to risk what's going to happen.
There's no way to maintain both, to choose a different way with the Lord and maintain
the old, you have to completely abandon the old.
You know, and choose the new but I, anyway, I have such expectation and for you and Arnold
and you know, all of the amazing things that are going to happen of what your lives, lives
are going to grow into and become that you're at a crossroads as to what you're going to
choose your life to be driven by, is it going to be driven by you maintaining what currently
exists or by, you know, the effortlessness of living by faith on who God is and who you
are and bringing those two things into your life.
I feel like what I just said just sounded very esoterical though.
And I always try to help people help people understand how it lands and how to apply it
in their life.
But let me know, what are your thoughts?
Yeah, I think, I think it's something that I need to, I know, I know that in the past
I have
Whenever I have like taken a step back from my business with being intentional about that like in other words saying like, hey, Lord, like I don't have any inspiration.
And I'm really scared to like, just chill for a month, but at the same time, in doing that I want to.
They all need help in it.
No.
In doing that I'm also like intentionally asking you to grow my business without my doing all the things that I think that I need to do in order to grow it and I have seen him in the past like that's what he does, you know, I think.
I think it's a great prayer to ask.
He did that for a friend of mine who didn't even ask him for it. She was afraid of what would happen when she left her, when she went on sabbatical from her business for a while from our ministry from a while.
And if I remember the statistics correctly God doubled it didn't do anything.
I didn't put out anything new and God doubled everything she's like, that doesn't even make sense there's no new content, there's to like bring in new followers it's like it took off.
God proved to me that I don't need to that I don't sustain it. And so, you can do that I've asked the Lord that also for like for instance when if we're so afraid that if we don't like like when I had to teach myself to stop telling the Lord I'm sorry all of the time.
I told the Lord I said okay God I'm going to try to live, believing that you accept me no matter what so I'm going to stop apologizing all of the time. And I am asking that you are no no it wasn't that it was, I'm going to stop trying so hard to like always do the right thing with everyone and I'm going to try instead to live out of my spirit and in the meantime, Lord, I am asking that since I will no longer be controlling
the outcome of in other words how people are interacted with and the effect that it had that I have on people. I am asking you that you protect them and uphold this structure, because I'm going to abandon it.
I'm no longer going to control it so I'm asking that you protect it. So I've done stuff like that before and he does it. I think it's a great prayer because again God just wants to be believed he wants to be given control of things.
So you actually intentionally saying hey God I'm going to do this and the reason I'm doing it is because I'm doing it in faith and it's hard. So I'm letting control go of control of this and I'm intentionally asking you to grab it, because I'm letting go.
And so I'm trusting you to hold on to it and to protect it and I'm intentionally asking you to think that's great.
Yeah. Yeah, and I, I have done that in the past and I know it's always like 100% behind me and very encouraging in that way I think, I think, another.
I think the biggest thing that keeps me from that right now is like and I mean, I shouldn't even worry about this because I feel like I've been in my for the last two months for my team anyway but I think my fear of their perception of me is what keeps me from doing that
I think for me when I first started with lemongrass a big part of like what drove me was my perception of other people which is kind of unique, but like if I sensed at all that like my upline leaders were like kind of like me, they weren't into it anymore.
It really did. It really hindered my drive or like my energy, especially the one that I really looked up to and she had really encouraged me and really like spoken life into my business, and I think I'm afraid that if I am not consistent and if I'm not always growing
or if I'm not always putting content out for my team are always reaching out or always being there for them or like just being dependable basically at all times that their energy is going to go like that.
And that, then my paycheck will go like that and everything will go like that. Yes.
Yeah, I'm okay now.
Where's Lauren? Is she with you?
Gwen's bringing him here.
Okay.
I just moved here.
Okay, thanks.
Can we do something?
We didn't get to yesterday. I didn't get too much.
I don't care if you want to do games.
Okay, I want to watch Black Panther games.
Oh, I don't even remember what I was going to say now.
Because we feel that it's it's our effort and everything that we pour in that sustains everything.
Yeah, I know how to get it.
Yeah, that's fine that we sustain other people's, uh, that what other people
need, they get that they don't have what they need unless they get it from us.
That the business doesn't have what it needs to keep more forward.
Unless it's us that everything takes our effort, our energy, which
really is all of our strife.
It's all of it.
That's all of that, that, that flesh, as opposed to, because.
Us pouring into people where it's life giving needs to come from our
spirit, which is always effortless, et cetera.
So it's just changing the source.
And when you change the source, you might be, be doing the same actions,
but it will feel effortless because, but right now it's feeling this, this,
this concept and this belief that.
It that, um, it's everything is dependent on me and my exertion, you
know, Lee puts us in bondage and we have to just free ourselves from that and
choose, no, it's not God, this is completely you and therefore I don't
have to sustain any of this.
Therefore, I'm just going to be me.
I'm just going to show up as me.
I'm just going to do what it is that I want, what it is that I feel like, what
feels like, but feels effortless.
That feels like myself, what feels like, what feels natural or whatever.
And that'll have to be like conversations between you and the Lord of like, well,
what does that actually look like?
And I'm fully aware of the fact that you're that when you've gone through
burnout, there is a, an aspect in which you sometimes just need to
heal by pulling completely away.
And you'll have to ask the Lord about what that looks like.
So Lord, you know, is there something that I can do that?
I can switch the source from which I'm doing it and, and heal from my burnout
as long as I switched the source.
Um, or is there a way in which, um, uh, that, or Lord, can I not, and
I need to pull away completely.
Um, so, or in certain parts of it, or, you know, meaning like for a while,
um, uh, or whatever, so that that'll just kind of be between you and the Lord I had
to do, I pull, I've had to do different things at different times I've completely
pulled away and unplugged, like I've told you, but, um, uh, but then sometimes what
I was doing is in the background, I was also, even though I wasn't public about
it, I was still pursuing some things, um, on, on my own, I was doing the things
that felt more fun and it felt more, um, that, that felt exciting and more
that, um, I don't know, more life giving.
Um, so anyway, uh, I'm really sorry for, you know, how it is that you're, you
know, the situation that you are, you're currently in, and I definitely
understand the struggle, so I don't know specifically what it is that you need to
do, uh, just wanted to, but, um, and so anyway, we can talk more about it.
And then the next few sessions are all about our ourselves and, um, how to
discover, you know, how to fully accept ourselves, how to discern who it is and
how to meet ourselves and discern who it is that we are, and then how to live
proactively, um, from who it is that we are.
Um, so hopefully those types of things will help as well.
Um, and just to start like healing some things, but in the meantime, you might
want to see, is there anything that just sounds and feel is a way that you can
pour into people in, in your business that feels fun, that doesn't, you
don't feel any pressure on it.
You're doing an action, but it's fun and it's life giving, or literally does
anything feel like anything related to business?
It's like, even if you change the source, you're just like, no, I just,
I don't feel good about it all.
That means you're just like completely burned out.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, I feel like, um, I think.
The biggest part that I feel like I have pulled back from is my core team.
So like anybody that's signed up under me that hasn't branched out under another
leader or become a leader themselves, that's where I feel the most burned out.
Like my leaders, I enjoy them.
Like we can speak the same language.
We're very, they have a lot of the same values that I have.
And, um, we can just really connect.
Um, and plus I know that they're like adults and they understand
like how it is to be a leader.
Um, but then I feel like my core team is like, they're still very much.
I just need so much, like, I don't know what to get.
I don't know how to give it to them.
And so, I don't know, I was just thinking today and yesterday about
like, I think what would be fun.
And I know that what they would all enjoy is connection.
Like, that's one thing they've all always said is that they love connection.
They love connecting with other women.
And I was like, well, maybe I can just do a zoom call where it's more like a fun
get to know you and just see like where it goes from there.
Um, you know, just asking like weird questions about each other and, you
know, having, yeah, kind of a theme around that and even just around like, um, a
relationship with the Lord and stuff.
I think that is something that they would love and that they would show up for.
So I don't know.
I could try that and see.
That's a great idea, especially because it sounds like those people joined because they
want to belonging, not because they started business.
They wanted to start a business because they thought maybe it was easy and all I have to
do is learn a formula and then it'll work for me instead of taking on ownership of no,
I need to do this.
It sounds like they were so deprived from community that they joined for belonging.
That is literally you nailed it.
Yeah.
So really great thing that you have the insight to just to distinguish.
No, these are my leaders.
And then we can talk about certain things and they're effortless.
You got to go sit with Monty and watch him play a game and then you can have a turn too.
And that these other people, however, they're frustrating because they want something that
you're not actually giving.
So when you, I mean, meaning like that, they had, you're thinking, well, you joined a business.
And so, but when I give you the business staff that I give them these leeches over here,
they eat it up and we all talk the same language.
But when I talk to you about it, you're not doing anything with it.
It's just like, it's just frustrating.
It's just like talking to a brick wall because they're wanting something different.
Well, the cool thing is that you're actually wanting to pour into people non-business related.
So you, God has given you a group of people that that's exactly what they want.
And then who knows from there, maybe the business would grow,
the business would grow because you're meeting a particular need that they're coming to you for,
which is, Hey, they want belonging.
They want community.
And thankfully for them, they have a leader who actually loves to be able to offer that.
And then maybe it won't feel like so much of a struggle in a trial.
And then maybe when they had that need field filled, remember again,
you're wanting what your business uniquely provides them at somebody else.
And there is somebody else's upline wouldn't provide for them is building up who it is
that they are and empowering the person to find the answers within themselves.
Meaning what is it that you and the Lord, who is it that you and the Lord uniquely are?
And I want to encourage you to step out in that.
You're going to have to take the courage, you know, courage on your own.
But excuse me, but I, I, you know, I believe in you.
I'm giving you the space as a leader to like make mistakes and not judge you for it.
And to just encourage you to keep trying again and to keep finding what feels good to you.
And, and to, and to teach you how to live like that,
because maybe you don't have anybody else in your life that is giving you that kind of space
to ask yourself at all, what you feel like, let alone encouraging you to act on what feels good.
You know, they're probably have all these other people in their life.
They were judging them by their behavior or by their, by their outcomes.
And so they, obviously they don't feel safe feeling themselves,
let alone expressing that feelings into a decision about like,
Oh, I want to do my business like this or whatever.
But when you pour into them as a person,
you know, that sense of belonging and that community,
and they start feeling like they matter and creating like an empowerment community
and not empowerment, like empower women or something like that,
but just like not that feminism stuff, but just like,
it is that they are as, as, as, as valuable to God.
As a unit.
And that, like that, that's, that feels.
That feels easy and it feels like, you know what I mean?
I think I just get stuck then.
And like, Oh my word, I'm manipulating them.
I'm trying to make them feel love so that they go and do all the things.
And then we build this business.
And I'm just like, I don't want to be a cult either.
A cult either.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Yeah.
Cult is, that is very, very different.
So it's hilarious.
Isn't it?
Yeah.
To sign up when breakthrough to be in the community.
No, it's interesting though, because a lot of the women that have joined my team
are, they all have a similar part to them to where they're not legalistic,
but they're also in a legalistic culture.
So exactly.
Yeah.
They think they're very interesting, but really they're pretty strict.
Yes, they are.
Um, that's, I'm going to try that.
And I feel like, I feel like maybe I should actually write an email to my team and be like,
Hey, this is actually where I'm at.
Like, I don't feel a lot of energy in my life to like teach you a ton of business stuff right
now, but I do feel like I have the energy to invest in you as a person.
Um, and chances are that's what they actually need anyway.
Now, now you don't have to do this.
This is just something that kind of came to mind.
You do whatever it is that you feel that you need to do.
Like, in other words, what feels right, what feels appropriate, what feels good.
But what you can also do from knowing from, oh, go ahead.
From business.
perspective is light or business perspective from, um, is to approach it maybe even like
this.
And it's just an idea, but just saying, Hey, look, you know, I've been thinking about what
it is that I can offer to you, what it is that I would like to give you.
And I would like to create, you know, sensitive community pouring into you, dah, dah, dah,
as opposed to saying what it is that you're not giving, because that can highlight a negative
and get them to focus on a negative and like, see, oh, there's something that I'm going
to lack as opposed to something that you're like, oh my word, by the way, I want to offer
you something.
In addition, when I offer you, or, you know, on your end, you're not going to be doing
this because X, Y, and Z now, um, no, you can do whatever you want.
I'm just suggesting that to you as a, as a, as like a perspective.
So no, I appreciate that.
You're only talking about like what it is that, Hey, look, this is what I would like,
because here's what it is.
You're now setting the tone for the new community.
This is what I would like to pour into you.
This is what I would like to provide for you.
This is what I like to offer.
And everybody's like, oh my word, I get more, you know, and then they jump in for the more
that they get.
And then that'll set the tone of the community of like, this is where I'm built up.
This is what feels good.
This is where I feel poured into, this is where I feel valued.
This is where I feel safe.
This is where I feel, um, in, uh, like given the opportunity to like safely look inside
myself and discover who am I and, and, you know, not be worried or scared that I'm going
to find something that I don't like, because even if I do, it doesn't make me bad, you
know?
And I'm, I'm always safe from, uh, Priscilla always creates an environment that in a space
that is safe for me to be me and for me to discover who that is and for something ugly
to pop up.
And I didn't know it was there, you know, but she teaches me.
If she's not afraid of me being me, I don't need to be afraid of what I'm going to find.
And then that allows all of the ugly stuff, you know, to come up for people to face it.
And then for people to choose to let it go, you know, or, you know, and, and I'm just
mentioning the ugly stuff, cause just like what we were talking about with Annette, it's
always important for us to look at the, uh, at doing things in light of the reality of
the potential threat, as opposed to, you know, oh, well, we're just going to ignore that
that could happen because that's what we're thinking is, oh, but what if, well, who cares?
What if we're still doing this?
We're doing this not despite, but in the face that this thing can, and it's going to happen,
you know?
So the likelihood of that happening much on the call, you know, isn't great, but the thing
is that if you provide a safe place for them, when they're home alone, and then some ugly
stuff comes up, they'll have the courage to not escape themselves, avoid themselves or
hide from themselves.
Yes.
They've had so much good poured into them that they choose to claim that in faith that
they really are okay.
And that they really are safe, despite this ugly thing that they just discovered about
themselves for this thing.
Normally they would are afraid of that.
They would, that would make them want to avoid themselves and they stop cycling themselves.
They start Monty it's Gwen's turn now for the iPad.
If when the iPad plays Monty that's right in it, and then I'll bring all the money back.
Well, and that's what I have discovered Monty is that I have had people reach out from my
team and even from down in way down in my organization of like the girl that just randomly
messaged me on Instagram.
She's like a couple layers down in my organization.
And she literally said, she's like, I'm reaching out to you because I feel like you're a shape.
Yeah.
What?
Anyway, sorry.
That's fine.
No, no, no.
I mean, we've gone like way past time.
So I know your children need you and whatever.
So anyway, just wanted to, but I wanted to make sure, you know, that you, you had something
to be able to move forward with that, you know, you could feel encouraged by and excited
about, and this all sounds great.
So you talking about the concern though, of, of not wanting to use something to manipulate
an outcome.
The whole thing is the way to avoid that is simply release the outcome.
Don't work towards an outcome, forget about what's going to happen.
If you do this, don't think about, I want this to happen.
So therefore I'm going to do this, or wouldn't it even be great if this happened and just
forget the outcome.
Just live in the present.
Don't determine your present and what you do now, based off of what you hope is going
to happen in the future, what you want to happen in the future, what might happen in
the future.
Don't use that to determine what you do here.
God talks over and over and over again.
Jesus talks about that.
He said, tomorrow has enough troubles in it.
Just focus on today.
Even Jesus said that.
So, cause he said, if he takes care of all of the animals, how
much more would he take care of you?
So even Jesus himself said, don't focus on tomorrow, just focus on today.
So you make all of you just live in the present and you just do, um, uh, and,
and so you don't focus on what.
On the effect of what you're doing on, uh, what effect that what you're
doing could have on the future.
That's that's, that's the grammatically correct sentence.
Not how you do that.
I think maybe the way that I need to look at it is the fact that the Lord is the
one who has him and I have grown the business together, but at the same time,
I feel like so much of my business has been a gift.
And I am with all these team members and all these people.
And I think what I need to focus on is just giving them me and me is not a
business formula and not a coaching, coaching them on how to like follow up
with people or like that, but me is like focusing on, um, Them as a person
and their relationship with other identity really does and leaving the rest
up to the Lord.
And if it flops, it flops.
And if it grows, it's because of Christ anyway.
So, yeah.
Yeah, because your, their business is not you, their business is them.
So you just build them up.
And you, you enrich, uh, you pour into them so that they, and they have to
choose to receive what you pour into them, but you just pour into them and
that's all you're responsible for, not how they respond to it, but it gives
them an opportunity to have something to respond to, and then they themselves
have to build themselves up and then choose to give that to their business.
You can coach them and encourage them and be there for it for them.
They are the ones who have to live it.
Just like me here with y'all.
I can just encourage y'all and give you, and just basically what is I'm teaching
and talking about, uh, for you to do Priscilla is what I do.
I can't fix y'all's problems.
I can't fix your struggles in, in, in your relationship with the Lord, like
how to have faith with him for him in this faith in him, in this area, how
to let go of outcomes and whatever.
All I can do is just interact with you based off of how I see you, how I
see you as who Christ made you to be.
And I'm like, oh, it's just so obvious.
You can do this.
I'm going to, it's just so obvious.
This is who you are.
And that's how I, that's how I, how I see both of you honestly and truly.
And so therefore, hopefully that comes across Phil and how I interact with you.
And then you have what it is that you need.
Cause you, I can't.
Give that to you.
You have to choose to receive that within yourself that, you know what?
I think that really is who I am.
You have to choose for yourself that that's who you are and then to act on it.
I can't do any of those things that typically people like being around me.
They told me this, um, uh, especially when they're around me in person, but,
um, they say that they like being around me because they feel that they have,
they feel rest when they're around me, they feel peace.
And this is sometimes people that don't know what it is that I teach.
They say, actually, when I'm around you, I feel, I feel peace or, you know,
they feel like they feel good about themselves.
They feel whatever.
And it's because I see them like that.
And so that's how they experience being in my presence
because that's how I see them.
And so then they start seeing that about themselves.
They experienced being that.
And feeling that, that they're that person, whenever they happen to be in my
presence, because that's the spiritual atmosphere that I create.
So that's how I know what to tell, you know,
what to recommend to you to do, because I had to learn to do that.
I learned to do that in business.
That's when I learned to do that.
The most is with people that, that, that mostly some of it was peers,
but the majority of it were people that reported to me that were underneath me.
Um, whether it was because I was consulting for them, um, you know,
to them or, um, they were projects that I was working on and they were,
they were people who actually reported to me as like a project manager that I
would just, I would, um, I would pour into them based off of how I saw them,
not something I was trying to get them to do or how I was trying to get them to
perform. I poured into who it is that they were.
And then I just watched to see how they responded to that,
how they chose to respond,
how they chose to perform based off of who it is that they now accepted that
they were huge difference, huge difference.
So, oh, and thank you, Annette. I appreciate it. So anyway,
that's what I'm talking about is, is doing what I'm doing, you know,
you know, here, whenever I interact. So, so anyway, but I will let y'all go,
but I did, you know, what's your response, Priscilla,
what are your thoughts up from where that makes a lot of sense.
And I feel like that's what my team wants for me actually.
And I've been afraid to give it because I feel like it's not business.
You know, so, well, it's spirit and that's how you created your business.
And that's what you uniquely have to offer as opposed to somebody
else's upline they could have joined.
And so sure.
Other people, if they look at it from the outside, that doesn't make any sense.
They don't understand.
Well, how can that grow a business or whatever?
But, um, you know, you're, you're doing it according to the kingdom of God,
not according to the kingdom of the world.
And there's, like you said, there's no formula in that.
So, and so you don't have to worry about the fact that, you know, oh my goodness.
I don't feel equipped or qualified to teach people about business.
You grew your business by the kingdom, by principles of the
kingdom of God of growing a business.
So teach other people about how to grow a business from the kingdom of God's
principles, not the kingdom of this world's principles.
You don't know those.
I don't know very many of those.
I know some, but it's basically because God just showed me.
When I walked into the situation and then he revealed to me, this
is how you fix it, actually tell them to fix it like this.
I'm like, okay.
And that's how I learned that that's how things worked.
It was just so obvious to me because God showed it to me, but I didn't learn that.
I didn't know it until I was in the situation and saw it.
And I was like, oh, so apparently that's how it works.
Okay.
Well, I'll tell him how to fix it.
God had to show those things to me.
So anyway, just rely on him and in the way that you always
have and know that it's enough.
If it's enough for you, it's enough for other people.
It'll look different for them and how it executes, because they're a unique
son of God connected to the Lord.
Very different than you as a unique son of God, connecting with the Lord.
But the power of his spirit operates in the same way.
You know, y'all both bring life to the Lord, to the world, through your businesses.
Thank you for that.
You're welcome.
Good to see both of y'all and thank you so much.
You're welcome.
See y'all later.
Have a great day.
I'm gonna go to bed.
This was amazing.
Thank you so much.
You're welcome.
Bye.