Hey! How are you feeling? I'm so excited! Good! Well, I'm almost completely back to normal,
which I'm grateful for. And I just had a little bit of drainage and a bit of, let's see, I think
I have, every now and then I have dry cough because you know that that sometimes comes with COVID.
So, but anyway. It lasts for such a long time. The coughing is so annoying. Which I'd forgotten
about. So, anyway, especially because the different strains now don't have all the
same symptoms that the very first time it came out did. So, anyway, so I'm glad all of this
worked out. I'm sorry. Oh my gosh, such a gift! I was like, yes! I'm so glad. Yeah, I had been
meaning to ask y'all about it. And, but I was just, just still kind of like thinking about
the logistics of it since y'all hadn't planned for it and I hadn't planned for it, you know,
with schedules and everything. I was like, you know, let's just, I just feel like it's on my
heart. I just felt like it was, it would hopefully provide something important to kind of like,
like I mentioned in the message, just kind of, once things kind of get rolling a bit to kind of
like help, you know, answer questions, like as things come up. So, because I just thought, well,
that's what I would want. Oh my goodness. Yeah. So amazing. Yeah. I'm so excited.
Yeah. What's going on?
I feel like things are good. I did that whole exercise with letting go. And then I was like,
after our last talk, when you had talked about like everything with that you had done before
you met like Ed and like all of these things. And so I did that once. And then I was like,
oh, I think I need to do it again with some other things. And so I feel like I'm just like,
getting those. So today, even I was like, yeah, I need to let some things go. And it just feels
very freeing, actually. And then, yeah, and then I was thinking about the other thing where it was
like, oh, I've been like inviting my spirit men into like, heal my body and soul. And I've been
talking to my body about accepting it. And then, you know, I was like, oh, my gosh, I have not
fully accepted it like when it's acting out. And so then I started doing that. But then what I
noticed is, which I was brought back to remembrance today, because I'm like, what I feel like is that
I feel like I'm having like all these pieces of the puzzles where I'm like, okay, now I'm getting
this more and I'm getting this more, but I can't like, put it together to like get the full picture,
if that makes sense. So I've been like, okay, so understand this thing about releasing and letting
go. I'm understanding this thing about accepting myself, I'm understanding this thing that oh,
I have to like, talk to my body and like, say that I, you know, like love it and fully accept it
regardless. And then I've, I've been using it as an excuse, like the last week to be like, Oh,
I can just like, be a lazy and not do anything. And I can just like eat candy and like do all
of these things because I'm, I'm accepting myself. Yeah. So this morning, I, Holy Spirit was just
like, but remember that component about like, being a ruler in your own life? I was like,
Oh yeah, there was that. Yeah. So, and yeah. And it's like, everything comes like the accepting
yourself. And then, um, I finally am able to do this last year teaching the next one, which is
going to be about like facing who it is that we really are now that we provide a safe place for
that. Now, actually, uh, putting, uh, not putting ourselves through the test. That's not, uh, it's
not that it's like now allowing who it is that we really are and who God really is to show up.
In other words, face reality without being afraid of it. And now that you've chosen to accept
yourself, now it'll, the stuff will come up and now you actually have to put everything into play.
Like, okay, really in the face of these things, not in the potential of them happening, not in
the potential of seeing something, but in actually seeing it and actually experiencing it. I'm not
judging. And then the last one, you know, that we'll be talking about is, um, how to actually,
excuse me, how to, how to rule and how to then like move forward. But my point is that every
single one of these things has to be founded. And what we've.
talking about this whole time, which is who does God say that we are? And so that my point is that
will change how we, how we act and the decisions that we make when we're accepting ourselves,
when we are facing these things that come up in us, because we realize, because instead of like
what you said, we, we have a tendency to either view the things that we're facing as one of two
things, either giving into it, which is what Paul referred to, which is what you were talking about,
like, oh, well, since I'm accepting myself, I might as well do that, which is why Paul had to
talk to, to the church and say, Hey, don't use your freedom as a license to sin. Because remember,
sin is unbelief. It's not the action. So it's like, don't use your freedom to be who you are
as a license to act however we want, but rather understand that it's the freedom of who it is,
of being who it is that we are and acting like that person instead of like, oh, well, if I have
this freedom, why don't I operate in the flesh? God's like, no, you've got the freedom to operate
in this spirit. This is really who you are. So it's, but God, God does have to mature us into
knowing how to operate like that. Cause we're used to thinking and identifying ourselves as the flesh.
Oh, I want to eat candy. I want to be comforted. And this is my choice. We're used to identifying
that as us. This is me. And God's like, no, that's not you. That's our old habit. Or that's who you
thought that you were. You thought you were the flesh. You thought you were your body. You thought
you were your emotions and all of that. No, you have the emotions. Your body is struggling with
these, um, with these tendencies or this particular perspective, but it's not who you are.
So anyway, my point is that the only way that all of these, these, these three things work,
accepting ourselves as we are, or, um, you know, facing who it is that we are not judging it.
And then actually ruling the only way that all three of the, any three of these work is if we
remember that we are who God says that we are, which is why I talk about them last instead of
first, because the only way that these work is if we know that we are who God says that we are is
our spirit man, you know, as the new man or whatever. So my point is that when we start
doing that, we'll start making different decisions in the face of, oh, I now have freedom or in the
face of, oh, I acted out, I acted out in this way, or I'm struggling in this way is if we remember
who it is that we are, and then, and then go into the situation like that, or confront
that situation as we are like, who like the character of God, what kind of decisions then
do we then make? Yeah. The one thing we don't judge ourselves for it, you know, we don't condemn
ourselves for it and say, oh, you're bad or you're evil or whatever, but we also don't give into it
either. So what does someone who isn't like that, but is faced with it, what does it dim into? And
it's a totally different decision source than the way that we're used to making this decision.
So, like I said, we usually have one or two, um, options. It's, we'll either give into it,
which we'd be, which is what Paul's talking about was don't use your freedom as a license to sin,
or we will work really hard to push against it and we'll strive to fight it. And that's exhausting.
And that's what we've been doing. We're like, oh, I'm not supposed to the wall,
pick myself up by my own bootstraps. And I'll just say no, no to myself and whatever. Well,
the word no is fine. But the thing is like, if we have exertion that we're putting towards resisting
it, that's, that's an exhausted, exhausting way to live the Christian life. So neither one of those
options are as operating out of the fact that we are somebody completely different. So it's,
it's a, it's where you are. And I'm still, I'm, I'm still there in like many areas of my life.
But my point is whenever we get to that place in certain areas of our life, we have the habit of,
of defaulting to one or the other, like one we're like, oh, well, I know I'm not supposed to do this,
but every now and then I give into it anyway. And the other one is we think, oh no, this is what I'm
supposed to do. I'm supposed to resist. And it's going to take a lot of hard work and it's exhausting
and I'm not going to be happy. And, but there's actually a third option.
And the third option is to operate out of note. Who actually am I? And then to be that in that
situation, as opposed to choosing those other two options that we thought were only the only
two options available to us. So anyway, is that helpful at all or giving any encouragement?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's super helpful. Yeah. Cause that's what I've been feeling. Cause I'm
like, oh, I've been just like letting go of things. And now I'm just like super excited today.
Even I was thinking of like, oh,
That's right. So I need to take like ownership. What is it that
I want to do? Okay, well, I want to like, stop buying candy and
eating candy, which is fine, because I'm like, I don't need
it. Because God is my comforter. He's, he's providing for me.
He's protecting me. He's like, I don't need that anymore for
that. But then I'm like, but I love baking. And I love eating
all of those things. And it's like, I'm like, that's okay.
Like, that's part of who I love that. But I don't have to do it
every day. I can do it like in weekends, you know, like,
there's still that kind of like, so now I've given myself grace
to like, okay, well, we're at least just gonna stop with the
candy. And then you know, I have like, I have my friend coming
over. She's coming over on Saturday, and then it's all
these things happening. So I'm like, well, I'm gonna give
myself slack for like, you know, however. Yeah. But and then I
was like, I would really like to start working out again. But I
just can't get myself to do I've been trying and it's just like
and then I was having coffee with my neighbor this morning.
And she was like, Oh, hey, I started the Kayla program again.
And I was like, Oh, we did that in COVID. I was like, Oh, I
should join you. She's like, I'm on week three. I was like, I'll
just start join you on week three. And then we can do it
together. So we went today and it was just like, I didn't want
to go and I was like, I have a little bit of a sore throat. I
probably should, you know, like, I'm actually a little bit tired.
Like, and I was like, No, just go. And it felt so good. And
then I went to my dance class after and even then to I've been
like, um, no, I don't think I want to go like, um, so I feel
like, um, I took authority and rulership, like in my life today
and make good choice. At least a lot of I still had a cookie. And
I'm like, that's fine. Like, I'm not gonna beat myself up over
it, like, one step at a time. But all of the things I did, it
felt different and didn't feel like I did it from works. It
just felt like something that has come as an overflow of like
the decisions I've been making, like letting things go, and
understanding like who God is and who God says I am. And then
it's kind of like what you've been saying, like, it'll come as
like a byproduct of that, you know, just like it'll just like
start happening. So I think that's what I'm feeling for
today. It's like, oh, things are like starting to fall into
place. And it's like, giving me joy to think about it. Like, and
I've had this, like, even with like the court thing and
everything, like waiting for that I've had like heart
palpitations. And even that is like, calm down, you know, so
I'm just like, Oh, I'm just learning more to just be and
trust God that like, no, I actually do trust that he has my
best interest at heart. Like he, he's good. Like he whatever is
gonna happen. It's gonna be good. Because, you know, I might
not understand everything, but like, he's good. And I don't
have to stress about like, whatever's in the future,
because we're like here and now and I'm like, Okay, well, I need
to like make take rulership of where I am right now. So then
it's funny, because then literally this morning, this guy
texted me with it. So he works at like this capella, this music
thing. And it's so funny, because like, I think I told you
with my friend Christiana, I kind of like started working
with her just from I answered an Instagram post kind of like
silly. And she had met these guys in Oslo. And then we had a
quick meeting when she was here, and they want to connect. And I
was like, Oh, that's so funny. Like, because I think I said,
that's what I've been writing down, like, Oh, I'd love to have
a job where I can like me and walking distance and with like
creativity, not saying anything will come of it. But it was just
fun that he was like, Hey, how are you? We should connect and
grab a coffee. And I was like, Yeah, absolutely. So great.
We'll see what comes of like, yeah, if that's the connection.
Yeah, yeah. And it's just like, funny, because it's like, even
if I don't love my job, like I, you know how much I hated it
before. And like, I was so mad at myself and God and everyone
for having this job. And now I'm kind of like, it's kind of
okay. Like, even with the drama, like, it's fine. Yeah. So I
would.
That that's huge. Because that's what's happened to me. Because
I've been in that position. I think I've told you multiple
times where I was just like, God, get me out of here. Because
I cannot stand this. I can't handle another day. And me and I
would just be frustrated with him for long periods of time. And
then finally, he would show me actually, I'm not going to move
you out. And so you let go of all
this. I didn't have the vocabulary back then to understand what was going on
other than the fact that God just told me to be, the way that I worded it
to myself or the way that it sounded like he was saying to me because again
it was all I had a grid for was actually I will not move you out until you're
content where you are and and so I I would just and I realized that I stopped
fighting where it is that I was and what and fighting God and holding
accusation against God for keeping me here and and when I did that I would go
through this transition of hating the job to being just kind of like being
neutral to enjoying it and then he would tell me to leave yeah so anyway
it's all part of this journey it's great to see you know progress to see
like all of this like resistance in you just starting to just let go and you
just shift into kind of like neutral you're like it's okay because a lot of
our pain is created by our own self by our own resistance against it you know
as opposed to and because we think that the only way that we can change
something is to resist it and but what ends up happening is we end up sticking
ourselves further in this situation out of it because we've locked down on it
because we because we're like I don't like this and so we're resisting but we
don't realize it's kind of like it's kind of like unforgiveness that that the
more I'm forgiveness that we harbor the more that we're at we're actually locked
on to it and we're not chained to it and we don't realize that we're doing the
very thing that we're trying to avoid and it's the same thing and you know
excuse me with what you're talking about so it's exciting to see all of
these like these this encouragement for yourself of okay I'm stepping forward in
faith and things that God says hey look trust me in this and that you know trust
me that you know I really in your corner that I really am good that I really do
provide that I really do hear you the desires of your heart and I want you to
choose me instead of the manifestation of all of these desires that you want
and by doing that you start feeling so much better you no longer hate
everything you know as much as you did and it's all because we chose God above
wanting something to happen and then so God's like okay so now you'll relieve
all of this pain and all of this all this pain and all this pressure in other
words you become more free from the bondage that you're in from resisting
what it is you have and wanting something else instead it's creating our
own bondage that's what I'm trying to say yeah so that's encouraging so it's
like working yeah yeah I know that's what it feels like I'm so excited I'm
like oh this is so good so I'm super excited how this works yeah and then I
was so glad yeah but it's not normal I mean we don't hear people talk about it
is my point yeah they don't you need to do something different or you just need
to be happy and then you come to find out it's actually the opposite of
everything we've been told and then we get what we want yeah yeah go ahead no
no no yeah no I'm just so I'm so encouraged because it's like you say
it's it just feels like this responsibility it's not like a
responsibility because I have but it's like this accusation against God has
gone and in that also my expectations of what I want the outcome to look like you
know like so that just feels freeing because I'm like wow I really have no
clue which is funny since like my word back in January 11th for November was
dream and that's kind of how I feel it's kind of like oh it's like a blank canvas
you know like it's like I'm creating this blank canvas and forgot to be like
well what do you want to paint you know so I think I'm learning yeah I'm
starting to learn this so how I like all of the things you've been talking about
and then now it's like taking rulership like in an ownership in my own life so
it's it's I think it's easier for me to understand it when I'm talking about my
body but I realize I have to do the same thing with other things which you
know but yeah so so I think I'm just I need to like relax I need to keep just
relaxing in it because it's that whole what am I trying to say trusting God and
having him think having him manifest in my life however he want and then how do
I partner with it you know so I think
that's where I also need to like relax and just be like, Oh,
hey, because sometimes I can be like, Oh, well, if you want to
write, you should write or you should do this or you should do
that, you know, like in order to like, you have to practice
something good at it, you know, yeah. And so it's that like,
where? Yeah. I, I, yeah, I think I'll get it. Like, I'm starting
to get it. And I'll get it. And like, so that's what I'm trying
to say. I think when it comes to like my physical body, and like
the eating and the working out and stuff like this, it's
easier for me to see what's happening. It's like, Oh, here,
I'm accepting myself. I'm like loving myself, and then I'm
fully accepting myself. And then I'm taking ownership, like, Oh,
wow, now I can rule and make good decisions, because that's
actually part of it. So in that sense, it's taken forever. But
now, I feel like I finally get it.
exciting. And then I'm like, Okay, well, how do I? How does
that look? What does that look like in the other areas of my
life? You know, like, when it comes to like, if I want to
create my own business, or if I want to meet someone or blah,
blah, blah, but then I think I go back to what you said the
last time where it's like, God, you can manifest however you
want. And then I'll just say yes, and partner with it when it
presents itself, you know. But I think part of me is still scared
of that I need to do something or I should do something to show
that, oh, I want this or, you know what I mean? Like, yeah,
yeah.
articulate stuff. Well, for one thing, you know, where we we
tell the Lord, like, just for instance, like when I did, told
the Lord, you know, when I prayed, and told the Lord, you
know, I, and I feel like I'm inviting you, Lord, to make my
life more enriched than I have been, then it's been
visions or any restraints on you to enrich it in the way that you
desire. And I will actively participate instead of
resisting the opportunities that you bring to me. And so
there's that aspect. So he, you know, initiates things. But then
as far as like anything that we can, but while we're leaving the
outcome to him, but then there are some things that we can do
while still leaving outcome to him. But we are for one thing,
we can co counsel together with him. But again, submitting our
will to whatever it is that he that he decides and leaving the
outcome. And then there's also the whole thing of like us in
the co counseling. So it's within the co counseling, really
co counseling, we're presenting to him, Hey, Lord, you know what
did this feels good. Kind of like what we've been up and
talked to Priscilla about, you know, on the back and forth.
Yeah, about and
one that on the WhatsApp, or I've been talking about, you
know, she's like, well, I've been thinking about this, but I
wasn't sure if it was a good idea, or I wasn't sure if I
should do it or whatever. I was saying, you know, you just you
check with the Lord first, okay, Lord, this is what I'm thinking.
This is what this feels. It feels like there's life on this
idea. And if in other words, there's something different than
simply Oh, doesn't that sound fun? There's there feels like
well, sometimes it feels that way. Sometimes it just feels
fun. And then we really don't know that the Lord or not. In
other words, we don't know if it's our flesh or our spirit.
And then you present that before the Lord, like, Lord, what do
you think about this? It sounds really fun to do whatever. And
then you see if you have a check. And if you don't have a
check, well, then like in other words, if you don't have an
absolute no, do you at least feel an openness? Because
oftentimes, God doesn't give us a yes or no. Yeah. And and so
we're left with like, what feels like no answer. And so how do
you figure out how to proceed in a situation like that? And
that's what I have, at least in my own life, I feel like I, I
can tell, if there's what feels like an openness, like I don't
feel a resistance to it, even though I can't hear the word,
no, Lord, if I do, I feel a resistance against it, you know,
from outside of me, not just like, like, Oh, well, I'm a
little nervous, or I'm scared. I don't mean that a check like
that. I mean, like, like a check where you could feel like, Oh,
well, I'm leaning towards this. And I feel like there's this
resistance against it. If I don't feel that there's a
resistance against it, then I feel like there's this openness,
I feel like there's the, there's a pop, but it feels a little
like, well, I don't push into the thing. I just feel like it's
open. And I could step if I want to, but I'm the one who has to
step. So if I feel that openness, well, then I'll tell
the Lord, okay, Lord, this is what I
I, this is where I think that you are, um, giving me permission to step into,
and you're not saying that I need to do something different.
So I'm just like, you know, I'm going to step into it.
And I'm asking that, you know, you, you show me if, um, that you just
continue to give me guidance and direction.
So I step into that.
And then once I'm there, then I, again, I just look at the first step.
Do I just feel openness on the first step?
We're not talking about an openness on, or do I, you know, do
you want me to publish a book or do you?
And because that's an end result, that's a, that's a way down the road.
You know, or do you want me to do this?
Or do you want me to have this job?
Lord, what do you, whatever, but rather, well, no, should I apply for it?
Yeah.
It doesn't mean that you're even, that they're even going to call you back.
And if it does, it doesn't mean that you're going to get, you
know, and get an interview.
And it, even if so, it doesn't mean that of all the people that
they're going to offer it to you.
And even if they do offer it to you, it didn't mean that you have to accept it.
And application is just a first step.
So sometimes I'll use a job is like an example of this.
You just feel like, okay, Lord, if I don't get a, if I don't get a check
from, or a, um, a direction from you on the whole thing, I've
just asked them for the first thing.
And so just because we even get permission for the first thing, we
shouldn't take that as, well, then God said, I'm going to get the job.
You didn't, but emotionally sometimes we, we latch on to giving, being given
permission for the first step as, oh, God guided me in this.
And here's the, here's how we know this.
If it doesn't work out, we get mad at God.
God, why did you allow me to waste my time?
Why did you allow me to do whatever?
And we're not remembering that.
No, the whole point is the journey.
The whole point is the development of our relationship with the Lord, not on whether
something worked out in the world in the way that we want to, but really how do we
develop our relationship with the Lord as we're doing stuff here on earth?
But anyway, um, so I was just kind of asked the Lord, okay, well, Lord, I'm
kind of feeling like an openness on this though, I'm going to step into it.
And then once I'm there, then I look at the next thing.
Do I feel an openness into the next thing?
Because once we're in the first step and we're actually in it, we're now in a
different position and you now have a different perspective of the next things
that are possible than you did before you even stepped into step one.
If for whatever reason, that's how it often works, it will look a little
different from in once you're actually standing actively in step one and you've
done it, then the options available to you and how you feel about them and how
do you feel that the Lord feels about the different options going up from step one
into step two, look different.
And so that's how I've gotten a bit more clarity from the Lord about what, what
things I should do is if I just look at it every, at one step at a time and I
don't hold God accountable for an outcome that's like many steps down the
road that he hasn't told me he's committed to, so I don't hold it against
him if it, if it does or doesn't happen.
And I just didn't ask the Lord, you know, well, I don't know what
tomorrow's going to look like.
You know, and Jesus didn't seem to be bothered by, in fact, kept telling
us to not worry about tomorrow, but rather just worry about today.
And so I just take step, you know, one step at a time and that is how,
that's how I've done it.
And the way, another way that I talk about it is if you look at a goal that you have
in, in, in what do you call it, in new age though, or not new age, is it new age?
The manifestation thing.
Thank you.
That's what I'm trying to say.
The law of attraction, you know, they think, okay, if you have this goal, you
need to solidify the goal and you need to live it, you need to breathe it, you need
to see it, you need to like, is it, you're really there, you need to taste it.
And then I'll go through all your senses and whatever, and I'll say, and I'll say
you need to really solidify it for yourself and then stay focused on it.
And that will allow you to eventually hit it.
That will allow it to finally manifest.
Well, there's multiple problems with that.
For one thing, obviously it's very man centric, you know, very man source of
like, what do I want and how do I make it happen for myself and there's no God in
there.
Um, so obviously that's wrong, but even from a Christian perspective of like where
the Lord tells us, Hey, we're supposed to create, we're creators, we're Kings.
How does this whole thing play into that?
And this is how I have.
Um, noticed at least my relationship with this father, who's how it has worked is
if I get kind of at the whole point of a goal is not for me to determine what is
going to happen.
Cause I need to lay that up to the Lord, but rather for me and the Lord to kind of
talk about a possible outcome.
And what that does is it gives me a direction heading in.
So, because otherwise I'm sitting here going, I don't know what to do.
Yeah.
new direction to start heading in but what I do is instead of the law of attraction will teach
you that if you have this goal in order to make that goal you have to make a straight line there
because all of these things are going to come against you while you're on this path and they're
going to try to knock you off the path so you have to really visualize it and you have to be consistent
and you have to be you know you have to will it into being whatever it takes a lot of exertion a
lot of effort which is of course strife it's man doing it on his own or whatever and instead what
we should do is we should it gives us a direction of like okay instead of heading this direction
because I have this goal I'll head this direction so you start heading this direction
but you allow the winds of this holy spirit to come and to knock you off of course in other
words to guide your path and then you'll end up not even getting to that goal a lot of times
you'll end up in a place that you didn't even know was a possibility you weren't heading towards but
because you were following the holy spirit's guidance the whole way then you ended up in a
place that you that you know was god's will or and that was is very often you know a prayer
and a um and a manifestation of some dream that we'd have that we presented to the lord and he
had us arrive there um and we didn't even hope to dream of it or you know hope to like ask him
for it or whatever but he knew the desires of our heart and so he granted it over there
and all this time we'd had this goal as our original idea but all that did was to give us
the direction to start heading in almost like getting giving the car a direction to start
to start in and get the car moving because you know that thing you know god can't steer a parked
car you need to get the car moving and it's easier for god to direct us when we're actually
doing something when we're actually in when we actually have movement well then god's like okay
well then just turn the wheel slightly to the left to turn it now to the right and do this
so that's what i how um i've noticed is very helpful not just for me but the other but other
people that i've mentored and things like what job should they do and how do they need to handle
their current job and what do they need to do or like you know priscilla with um it was like well
i have an existing job and how do i want to um how do i want to develop it if it doesn't quite feel
right anymore well what's wrong what do i need to change what do i do and um and anyway so the goals
gave us a give us a direction so that we're starting to move and then we allow the holy
spirit as we're moving to kind of guide us and then we turn the wheel slightly left and we turn
the wheel slightly right but we're we're currently moving you know our foot isn't on the brake it's
on the gas pedal we're doing stuff and so we're just going by okay god's yeses god's nose and
then wherever we feel an openness of like god i feel that this is your character according to where
it is what it is that you've taught me of who it is that you are this you know who i've come to
understand that you are this far this feels um is that helpful yeah yeah it's super helpful because
that's what i was saying i um think you had mentioned to priscilla like if you don't know
that probably means you're not supposed to know just yet oh yeah something like that and so i
feel like with that whole because now i like i mean you've seen how frustrated i was at my work
and then like now being in neutral and actually enjoying parts of it you know like and yeah
you can ownership places but it's um so it's really helpful what you're saying now because
i think where i am i'm just like um when it comes to wanting to have my life look different
i mean i've just presented that to god but it's like i tell him like you said like oh i you know
like i'd like you know i feel like my life could be more you know like it could be so and i just
invite you to like come and do whatever it is that you want to do and i want to partner with you
you know and then part of me is just sitting there waiting on that and like okay well i mean
obviously this happened like in the last week so you know and then part of me is like oh
is this so so with the with my body it's easy to be like it's not easy but it was easy when i got
it where i'm like oh well i can't just accept myself and continue to eat and not work out and
expect to like drop weight like that's that doesn't that's normally not how it works but it doesn't
be a striving thing, it can be something you enjoy, you know,
and but then when it comes to like the job and the dreaming,
because that's the thing I feel like I've given up like and let
go of so many things that I'm like, I don't really know what I
want. Or, like, if God was like, well, what do you want in your
life? I'd be like, um, I really don't know, you know, and so I
feel kind of like paralyzed and moving into a certain direction,
because I'm like, I wish I knew where which is again, like when
I'm like, Oh, I wish I knew what I was supposed to do with my
inheritance, or you know, like how I was supposed to invest
that or I wish I had something I was really going for. And I
could like, pour it into that and give my all and like, build
up my business or whatever, you know, and I'm like, I have no
clue of what I want, or where I'm supposed to go or like what
even God wants anymore. I'm Yeah, fallen into this like
music thing. And I've no idea, you know, like, I, I don't know
what will come of it. Or it's like, but I mean, apparent, like
it's apparent that God just dropped me in there. And there's
a lot of favor around, but I'm like, but I don't understand it.
Like, I don't even know the subject that much, you know,
like, but um, besides singing, so I think I'm like, how do I
navigate that? Or like, how do you do just sit and dream with
God? Or like, how do I not expect my life to look
different? Um, as I would like sitting here and not going to
the gym or doing something taking active, making active
good choices in my life and what I'm eating or how I'm treating
my body as a king, you know,
I'm sorry, I don't understand. I didn't understand what you were
asking. You said, How do I expect my life to look
different? What what we're saying? What do you mean?
Yeah, so I feel like I think that's kind of like where I am.
How do I so with what you were talking about before, like how
so I would like my life to look different. I've invited God to
like, expand if he wants and I don't feel like I have like a
I'm holding it like I don't feel like I have a I don't have any
grid for what I would want that to look like is it essentially
just feels like I'm like, I have no idea what that would look
like. So I think I'm like, where do I go from? Like, how do I
move from here to to have breakthrough in those areas, you
know, which is areas where I'm not familiar with? Yeah, getting
my back, I guess, you know,
yeah, well, I think part of the part of the struggle that we
have with those when we have those questions, is that at our
age, we don't expect to have those questions. That was like,
that was so high school. Yeah, I was in college. That's when I
was trying to like figure out. And we think that by our age,
when we should know. And the thing is, though, that back then
we build our sense of life and sense of self like who it is
that we are and came to know who it is that we are off of
the off of the foundation that's very different than the one that
we're building. Now we're trying to remove that old foundation of
like, I'm on my own. I'm advantage. God is like this. And
now I'm discovering no gods like this. And this is who I am. And
so that's a totally different foundation from which to know
myself. Because also a lot of these things that we thought
were us were based off of Oh, this is what I like. And this is
what I want, were based off of years, because I want to avoid
this happening. So therefore, I like to do these things, or I
want to do these things, because subconsciously, we're going, I
want to avoid this down the road or whatever. And so now that we
are removing now that we're changing our, our source from
where we're making decisions, we now no longer know who we are.
So, but it's not going to be as long as it took and as hard as
it was in high school or college or whatever, to figure
these things out. It's a lot faster in the kingdom of God, to
learn and discover all of those things. So it's like, it's, it's
a, in a freeing way, it's like a blank slate, not in a scary way,
but in a freeing way, it's like, so now you can go through like
this discovery process of Oh, my goodness, you know, who am I
like, in other words, what is it that I really want, especially
with how the Lord and I have developed stuff thus far, and
what I tried in life, and I realized the outcomes of those
things, is that really who I want to be? Is that really the
kind of stuff that I want to be involved in, or the type of
people I want to be connected with, or where I want to live,
or what I want to do with my life or whatever. And you've
discovered things, you've learned things about life that
you didn't know.
back in high school or even college. And so you have much more, um, uh, you have a lot more data
to work with now. And, um, and then you can, you can build, you can discover who it is that you are
when you're not afraid. What does it want? If I'm not afraid, what is it that I want? If I'm not,
if I'm not trying to prevent something from happening, or if I'm not trying to protect
myself or provide for myself, what decisions would I make in that kind of a reality?
So it's, it's, um, and so that's, that's just where you are. That's the part, you know, I'm
still in that in multiple areas of my life as well. Like who really am I? What really is it
that I want? And we talked about this last time versus what did I think that I want that I wanted
way back then, but really it's because society was such that I was afraid of what would happen
if I was anything else. So I thought that I wanted X, Y, and Z because that's what got me,
you know, but now if I'm no longer basing my decisions on who it is that I am and what it
is that I want off of fears, if it's off of I'm protected, I'm provided for, you know,
there's so much freedom. There's so much openness who, who that I am, who, what, what decisions,
what is it that that person wants? What is it that that person likes?
So, and that's just something that, um, that we just kind of like discover. So it's like, um,
um, we just, it's, uh, we're, as an adult, we're not used to giving ourselves as much leeway.
We're all, we're very accomplishment driven and did something that has to only be a specific path
that'll end this that'll end in this particular way that I'll get something out of it. And it's
gotta be right the first time, you know, I don't have time for this exploration thing. I don't have
time to go down some little, like, you know, bunny trail or some trail and find out the whole time
that it led to nowhere. And now I've got to start all over again. Ain't nobody got time for that.
You know, that's what we're thinking. That's what we're thinking as an adult. And really it's the
opposite. You actually make a lot more progress in life. And they say this, like the non-christian
say this, it is a principle that they have noticed, um, uh, in, in life that the stakes
and openly and just like our action takers make much more progress in life than people that are
always trying to do it right. The first time they move very slow and they don't get nearly as much
done as the people that just try stuff that explore that, like, okay, well, let's take time
to this and let's take time to do that. And they don't, they don't worry about, well, what if it
works out or not? It's all, it's a discovery process. And what they end up finding is,
uh, is they also make progress further down the road, even with all of these little explorations,
you know, whatever, they actually move forward faster than the people who are trying to make
sure that everything is just right. And only do the right thing. And so it's, it's, it's, it's,
it's, it's, it's a discovery process. So if we kind of view things in life more from this
perspective of, of, um, like playing like a kid does, I'm like, let's just see what happens.
Let's try. Well, you know, um, I wonder if I'd like that. Well, I don't know. Let's take a
class on it. Just one class. See if I like it or let's watch some YouTube videos on it
and see if I'm interested enough to actually go take a class, you know, or, or whatever,
or, you know, for investment, you know, wondering about investment options and like, oh, well,
I wonder what it would be like to just get one consultation with a financial advisor,
just like, like what, because it's their field of expertise. I wonder what
information they could expose me to that are options out there that I've never even considered
because they're not anything, any of the traditional options that I've ever heard of,
you know, or, you know, just, just stuff like that. It's just kind of like trying something
because you're interested. Basically it's like, there's an, this is the way I see it. I see it as
more fully engaging with an appreciation that we have of a world that God created.
Like, let's just see what's out there. There's an aspect of God of appreciating what God created
by being interested to learn and to expose ourself. Even if you're not going to take
action on it and you go do a whole consultation with.
financial advisor, you know, and just pay for an hourly fee for just an hour fee for just like
one consultation, or maybe they do it for free. I don't know how they do that, you know, and,
and you, and even if it, but it exposed you to a world that isn't your area of expertise, because
you don't, you don't, you're not a financial advisor and you don't know all of this stuff.
You don't know what all is available. So even if you don't take an action on any of it, at least
your world will be bigger. So you now know, this does not feel aligned with me to follow any of
these pathways. So I'm going to look for a different one. It gets us in. So that again,
that's taking a first step. And once you have that first step, you can more clearly see the
options that you have in a second step. Yeah, that is so helpful. Because I, when you speak,
I'm like, Oh, that's what I'm doing. I'm like trying to get the outcome straight away,
instead of like being on this exploring journey with God, like figuring out and just learning and
appreciating what he created and enjoying essentially, you know, and it's funny, my
sister and I are actually on Thursday going, that's the thing we're going to something called
she invests. And it's for women and they have like this evening and they have like all financial
advisors and it's on a stage and they're like talking about the trends and how, how you can
like save money and invest and like all of these things. And I think I've been there before.
Oh, cool. And I think I'm good. This time, I'm gonna go with a new mindset, though, of like,
oh, I believe actually God wants me to learn something and I can get this like, I can't because
the last time too, I was like, this is way over my head. I don't understand anything. And, you know,
like, how come other people can get it and I don't get it. Now, I'm just gonna be like,
hey, I'm okay, even if I don't get it, but maybe, yeah, I will have another revelation, you know,
or it's like, at least I'm moving towards it to see like, I'm, I'm, I'm actively participating.
And then I can just expect God to like show up. And yeah, like you say, like, move me in the
right direction. So yeah, yeah. I think that's, that's really helpful. Because I think I'm just
like, I should be sitting down and writing and writing and writing and doing this and doing this
and doing this. And it's like, yeah, no, yeah, I can try it. But also, when you go to steps like
that, what I would advise is that you remember, again, who it is that you are, you're in a
position of oneness with Christ, all power and authority is in that position, everything is under
your feet, including all those principles that they'll be talking about. You were set with the
intention to rule those principles. So they're yours to know, they're yours to understand,
as opposed to Oh, my goodness, I hope I get to be smart enough to figure all of this out.
No, God put you in a position where you're the king of those principles. Sure, you're being
raised, you know, like it mentions in the Bible, you know, like with that, tutors and governors,
because we're young. And so we're learning what it how to rule the land that we've been given.
But still, you're still, you still have the power and the authority over those things to rule over
those principles. So they belong to you. They're within your kingdom. So they're yours. And you're
just simply being exposed to what it is you own and what it is you rule. So get it, it helps.
That you're going to understand it, that you're going to learn it, that God's going to show you
what it is that he wants you to focus on or learn or understand or pay attention to or make a part
of your life. And the rest of it, you know, if you're not feeling like the Lord is, is like
urging you to press in and to really understand something or just like, okay, well, whatever,
then that is for someone else to understand and to reign and rule and have dominion over.
And the Lord has something else for me to focus on. We can't be experts in every field. Yeah.
But it will help because then you're more likely to understand it, understand more,
because in your mind, there's this openness instead of this resistance of like, oh my goodness,
I bet this is gonna be hard to understand. Oh my goodness, you know, I hope I get this.
Instead of walking with this expectation, oh my word, I rule all of these principles. Now,
I'm just simply being exposed to what is another part of my kingdom I didn't know existed.
You know, the principles work like that. Does that make sense?
Yeah, yeah. It's mind blowing. It's like, it doesn't even like it as like, wow, that's like,
that's exactly how I need to think with everything, you know, it's mind blowing.
And that's what I said before, when I was it was so good that you answered that too,
what I was
like, Oh, I hope I get this rest intensive and the breakthrough
and that I don't forget it and blah, blah, blah. And you're
like, No, you're gonna live it. You know, I just had coffee with
Renata. And she and she was like, Oh, I feel like I was
living in rest. And now I fell out of it. And I don't know how
to get back. And I think that's how I was like, Oh, no, I don't
want to fall out of it. I want to have these, you know, like,
so it's been Yeah, it's me. And I'll tell you the same thing
that I told her is that that is normal. It's not like, Oh, when
people like, for instance, go through the rest intensive,
they're just gonna like fall over this threshold. And
they're just gonna live in bliss for the rest of their days.
That's, that's not what it is. What it is, is it's like
exposing someone to what God is actually saying in Scripture and
freedom that he that we now live in as the new man, because
of the gospel. And now we're having to learn how do we apply
that in the various areas of our life? How do we take that
freedom that we're already in and it gets in the rest
intensive, what I always hope people do is at least get an
experience during the rest intensive of what I'm talking
about, of letting go and being able to finally explore God a
freedom in an area they never had before. And now that they
know what I'm talking about, okay, now they have to go, you
know, you know, with the Lord. And then I also offer to help,
you know, mentor people like through like through the
breakthrough program or whatever, in how to apply it
various areas of their life, but we all have to have to
continually be confronted with aspects of our flesh, our soul
and our body that are not currently in rest yet, either
because it's a new area, or it's a greater depth of those same
areas. And so, so she was all concerned, I think I've fallen
out of the rest. I'm like, No, you sound like me. If this is
life now, but you've chosen that you have a different life that
you are now going to live from a that you are now going to have a
different lifestyle, you're going to live choosing that you
have freedom, you know, according to the gospel in God,
and that is now who you are. Now you're just learning more and
more how to apply that in various aspects of your flesh,
your soul and your body and overcome them, you know, in
other words, go through Romans eight, where parts of your are
your soul and your body are still groaning and frustration
waiting for the manifestation of its own spirit. It's a spirit to
reveal itself and say, Look, I now recognize I'm a son of God.
And I'm now calling you to recognize that as well. And
then you'll be able to step into greater and greater freedom. So
I just encouraged her I was like, No, this is normal.
So now, you know, all this stuff, they're very simple
principles, and you just walk with the Ford in in overcoming
these various aspects of yourself that aren't believing
God is as good as he says. Yeah, or that he's not as perfect,
pretty much provider as he says that he is or whatever. And so
she told me that that was encouraging. So hopefully, she
just messaged me yesterday. It was all very new. She messaged
me yesterday. And so I messaged her back.
Oh, good. Yeah.
Thank for you. It's like I introduced people to this to
talked in the gospel. And he's there talked about the gospel.
And he said it was freeing. This is what he was talking about. Oh,
my word. That's what I have. Yes. And we're already there. Oh,
my word. Yay. But we have to continually choose it. Whenever
a new aspect of our flesh confronts it, a new aspect of
unbelief. Oh, I didn't realize I wasn't believing God in that
area, or, you know, or whatever. So it's, it's all very normal.
Yeah.
I'm so encouraged. I feel very excited about the future. I've
no idea. But it doesn't scare me. I'm just like excited about
it. I'm like, who knows? But I guess that's what I'm like,
figure out what I like. And like, I love that whole like,
oh, with at the same time understanding that everything in
this world is actually under our feet. Because, you know, it's
for us to rule reign. But then for God to like, blow life on
whatever it is, we feel like, oh, maybe this can be it. Or
maybe Yeah, exactly. Yeah. To be feel threatened by or
intimidated by anything. Yeah. And that's basically what I was
encouraging you about, like going to like learn something
new, that we're not supposed to feel intimidated going into it
because we rule it. We're just being exposed to a bigger, a
deeper, some, like, think about it, like, we're now meeting a
whole country of people that are within our kingdom that we've
never been exposed to, we've never been exposed to that
particular people's culture, and their language and how they do
things. But we are the son of the king, who has multiple
lands. And now we're being introduced to this
land that were that were responsible to rule and reign over but we're just being introduced to them
so you know this is all brand new to us but we still rule and reign over them so there's no
reason to be intimidated we're already in a position of power and authority over them we're
just being taught by god how do we use that power and authority um in this new area that we've never
known we rule over yeah thinking on my word it's this thing i have to conquer no it's already been
conquered you already have all the power and authority over it you know like all these
financial principles or whatever it's just you're you're just being exposed to it by god and like
shown hey look by the way this is in your territory as well don't you think this is
interesting and then like you said you're discovering with the lord which areas are you
and he going to adopt and manifest who it is that you are through like which financial principles
are you going to be putting into operation which business are you and he going to have how are you
going to do it you know that's all going to be unique to you you're not going to do all of them
that are available out there you and the lord are going to pick a specific one yeah
intimidated by all the ones that you don't yeah you just learn them all and you still
rule and reign over the thing that that creation overall but you and the lord are only going to
operate out of your chosen one so well another transformation session
we're also taught to be intimidated by what we don't know yeah that's another thing i'm trying
to say and there's no reason for us to be intimidated by something that we don't know
it's a rule right now whether or not we own it yeah or like overwhelm this there are so many
things like yeah and we're made and we're taught that we're supposed to be afraid
instead and that knowledge is power remember that knowledge is power thing that people say
and it's just not true um so anyway
yes so helpful oh my gosh yeah another one i'll be listening to over and over again
so you said that you could not do thursday right which is perfectly fine i just need to know
i have the financial thing but i think i'm not sure when it's over it could be over at nine but
i'll see if i can make like the last half hour or something um yeah but i don't think i'll be
able to make it at nine um oh i can't hear you now
can you hear me now yeah
you can do it well then um we'll meet on thursday and then you just join in you know whenever you
can and um but if she can't do it we'll just get thursday i could yeah if not i could do it like an
hour later but um okay and uh you mentioned for next week you could or couldn't do it you can't
do it because you have company am i right when caitlin gets in on on saturday and they leave
on wednesday so okay i don't really know where we'll be on monday so i'm not quite okay um because
if we're just hanging out here then i can pop out for like an hour and be like hey you know
i have a call but if we're um up in the mountain or you know like at a cabin or something it might
be more difficult um yeah okay so it's just because i have um yeah feel like you can next
thursday next thursday i can yeah priscilla can do it monday if she can we'll do it and
this this thursday and then we'll just plan on doing it on and next thursday as well yeah okay
so oh yeah oh thank you so much um so so thursday i can but might be half an hour late or i can do
an hour later yeah so okay all right okay yeah sounds good okay thank you
good night yeah you too did you have you gone back to work like since you've been feeling
better yes yes i have so that's i've been um uh that's another reason why i haven't been
able to get the teachings done is that the whole sickness threw everything off yeah delayed my
work delayed my delayed my teachings and so i i had to last week i had to make uh two weeks worth
of work and so that's why i didn't do any of the of the uh teaching last week is because i was
making up for the fact that i was sick my very first week of work so anyway so hopefully um i
should be able to get them done this week oh yeah no that's all good but did you have fun is it good
me enjoying it. It is right at my alley. It's right. The kind of thing that I enjoy. I already
have experience in the, in, in this area. It's just that I didn't have experience with this
software. And so the software is new for me, but this is what I, this is what I used to do.
So it's process improvement basically through technical solutions. So business solutions,
but plus all people's business problems by helping them get a computer to work for them.
So it's less work for them. Yeah. I don't remember what do you do?
Uh, well right now I work with HR and communications at like an oil service company. So
it's, um, yeah, trying to, um, yeah, help them with strategy when it comes to like recruitment
and employer branding and internal communications and yeah. So process work there too. But yeah.
Oh, I didn't hear you. Sorry.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah. So then I was working with processes with, uh, companies with high
sick leave to like go in and look at their structures. Like what can we do on like an
organizational level or on the management level or like individually, like what needs to change
to like for people to have better working environment or for things to work so that
their sick leave would be reduced, you know, and that they would save money, you know, cause it's
expensive. Yeah. Well, it's good to see you and I will see you if not Thursday, I will see you
next week. Yeah, for sure. Hopefully I'll see you Thursday. Yeah. Okay. Bye.