Hey, oh, my gosh, it looks so beautiful where you're at.
No, thanks. It is. It's very pretty day.
It's really, really pretty.
I don't know what temperature it is. It's probably in the 70s, it's in the 60s, I don't
know, advantage of the really nice weather. We live in a studio apartment and he works
from home and so it's helpful. It's been helpful in the summer whenever he and I both have
phone calls. One could be inside and one could be outside and we're really not sure how it's
in the winter. That's okay. We'll figure it out.
You'll figure it out. No, it looks very beautiful. It's like, it's like summer and fall because
it's like the beautiful flowers.
Yeah. Oh, they're really pretty. I am very grateful that the flowers are still blooming
really well. They're very happy. And, and I already know what I'm going to replace them
with in the winter. I think I'm going to take this one here, this one, I'm going to
uproot it and then I'm going to move it inside because I have a grow lamp that Ed gave me
for, I think it was for my birthday. Was it for my birthday? It was for my birthday or
for our anniversary. Maybe it was for my birthday. Anyway, I have a grow lamp in there so I can
grow stuff even in the winter, which I'm very excited about. So I can have, so far I'm able
to, I have some, some of these that I already have cut off and are growing into new, like
they've grown their own plants, their own roots and they're doing fine in the grow lamp.
So I'm hoping that when I uproot this, when it gets too cold and I uproot this and put
it in there that I'll have flowers all winter. So I'm excited about that. Anyway, and then
I'm going to replace all of these because these are all just annuals. I'm going to replace
them all with, it's a winter flower. I don't remember what it's called. It's not a pansy.
It's, it starts with the C, but they're really big, vibrant colored flowers. And I thought
those would be really cheerful for the winter. So anyway, so I plan to do that.
But in the meantime, I'm into it. It's October and I'll have flowers. Yeah. Oh, it's looks
for you. I'm, I'm good. Yeah. I've been at this investment conference this evening,
so that's why I was late. So that was, yeah, it's very interesting. It's,
I'm, so that's why I was just like, oh, I had to get this so cold here now. And it's like,
so windy. So I'm like, oh, it's just going to be like, probably not nice to listen to if I like
walk in the wind. So I'm like, no, I'm just going to wait until I'm home. But yeah, it was
interesting. I was, I was trying to think what you were saying, like, oh, hey, we actually have
dominion over this and God, like, what are you wanting me to understand from this? And that was
just kind of, yeah. So what's been interesting is that so yesterday, I was with
remember my colleague, that's my friend where there was that misunderstanding. And then I just
felt horrible because they didn't give her like the full pay. Because I don't know, I feel like
I pretty much feel like my boss and her boss kind of threw me under the bus, because they want so
they kind of they didn't they didn't give her a full race. But then they pegged it on the fact that
they said, Oh, you're not sharing information with me. And I was like,
but I'm okay with how we're Yeah, you know what I mean? So I was like, nobody asked me,
you know, and so I'm like, Oh, that's just doesn't seem right. But oh, well, so anyways,
we were at like a work arrangement. And then we were going to go be social at this other event.
And she's like, Oh, I can't go. And I thought she said she was gonna go meet, like her friend's
husband or something. And I was like, Oh, where are you meeting him in town? And she's like,
No, no. And then it turned out she wasn't meeting her friend's husband at all. She had signed up
for this like, course, if you want to be an entrepreneur. Uh huh. And so I was like, Oh,
well, that's interesting. She's like, Oh, do you want to go? And I was like, Sure, why not? So I
literally signed up like the last minute. And so we both went to this like entrepreneur thing.
And then I had signed up to go with my sister to this
seminar today, it's a bank that holds it every year, because so
what they're trying to do, they just want to have a focus on the
fact that I mean, and all over the world, but their focus is on
Norway, obviously, where it's just like, the gap between
female investors and male investors are like too big, and
like female founders and male founders. And so they just want
to create awareness. And they're like, hey, we need good role
models. And we need more people to like, step up and try to do
this. And like, so they're pretty much just, they started
this hashtag, she invests. And it's become this, like a viral
thing. And now, you know, women are starting to invest. And it's
like, yeah, so it's really great. And then she had signed
up as well. And then this year, because I went last year, and
then this year, they're like, Oh, yeah. And so we want to have
a focus on entrepreneurs also this year. So they were like,
giving out books on like, if you want to start your own business,
you know, like, and here's our card, like, here's this book,
like, read this book and connect with us. And so I was like, I
was telling her, I was like, I guess there's a theme. So I just
feel like, it's just interesting. So I'm just trying
to learn, I feel like it feels like a gentle nudge. You know
what I mean? Where it's just like, hey, you can learn about
this and see where you want to go. And so I think it's, yeah,
it's, I'm still where I'm at, like, I'm still in the last week
of, you know, like, next Wednesday is the final date for
like, the possibility to appeal and then hopefully, you know, it
will stand as it stands and be over. And then I went to a
conference today during the day for my job with my former job.
And so I could feel I was like, Oh, this feels like home. And I
kind of want to go back. And then I was like, Oh, it's so
sad, because it's so safe. And I want to go back. But I don't
think I'm supposed to, you know, and you know, that thing where
it's like, you've outgrown the jacket, but you kind of just
want to be there because just so nice. Yeah, you know? Yeah,
yeah. So I feel like I'm in this. I don't know, I feel
today's been a journey of like, where I am presently and like,
looking back at where I was, and then also like having a look
into the future. And it's, I don't know if it's, I don't know
if it's kind of like, hey, what do you want? You know, like, do
you want to stay? Do you want to go back? Do you want to do this
new awesome thing? Like, um, I have no idea. You know what I
mean? I think I obviously want to probably do the new awesome
thing, but it's going to be more scary than going back. So yeah.
Yeah. So I think, I think that's, that's where I'm at. And
I'm super excited to like, listen to the new teaching. I
haven't gotten a chance to to listen to it yet.
I had done it yesterday, and then I forgot to upload it. So I
uploaded it today. And that is really, really exciting. I like
how you noticed that it was you were getting Oh, what's the
word? I don't know why I'm struggling. You'll notice in the
in the teaching yesterday, it's well that my mind that I was
really struggling with finding words that I was looking for
whatever that this much. No, it's the words, not association,
but basically the connection that you're making past. And
then the fact that you are, you know, where it is that you are
right now, you're kind of like, think of it as transition or
crossroads or whatever. And then not to mention the fact that
you're in your current job, and then looking in and being
presented with and getting exposure to the possibilities in
the future, all in the same day, which, which is hard to do. So I
think that that's really, really cool. I think that's great.
Because I just see personally, I just see that as the Lord being
all over it, of you having sought him for, you know, to
have your current certain aspects of your current
situation addressed, and how he sees you where you're going to
go and all that. And then also looking at, okay, well, what does
that mean that we're going to go Lord, you know, could we have
direction and but then him also pointing towards the past of
like, hey, this is where you've been. And you've talked to me
about wanting to go back. But and then there's this
possibility here. And so it'll be it'll be fun to see where the
Lord what the Lord does because of today, you know, but it's a
neat, like, like you said, nudge communication from the Lord from
heaven to you today, almost like an acknowledgement of the things
that you've been
before. And that's what I'm trying to say. Knowledge of the things before him, which I believe are also
some of the stuff that rises up within us are in, are triggered by the Lord, prompting things.
He's putting seeds in us. He's getting us to think about things or whatever. And we think that there
are desires that we're coming up with on our own. And some of those are things that God is like,
prompting us to think about, or to explore, to be interested in or whatever, but it just,
and then you just get to go on this journey with him. Like, okay, Lord. So I'm in the middle of
a journey. Where are we going? What are we doing? And in the meantime, I'm going to enjoy who you
and I are right now in this, in this moment, and just enjoy the, the adventure of the fact that
we're exploring right now. And I don't know what's going to lead to et cetera. So anyway, I think
it's very exciting. I think it's like give it, it's an, it's a measure of breakthrough in the
fact that there is God's communicating that you're not communicating to in a way that you can
take as, okay, I'm really not stuck talking. He's doing stuff. He's presenting things. It's just
that I'm not seeing the manifestation yet. I don't know where it's going to lead, but it's letting
you know, that feels a lot like being stuck really isn't stuck. It's like, no things are moving.
And so I think that's great. You're excited for you. Yeah. It's super exciting. And it's like,
and even the people that were there tonight, you know, it's like, Oh, it's just the fulfillment
of like having your own business. And then you can start hiring people. Like she had hired people or
whatever. And I'm like, Oh, that's kind of scary. But it was like, it was all these like different,
I don't know. Yeah. It made me think big, but I was like, Oh God, like I would, I would love that.
But like, you would have to show me like, that would have to be your idea. Like you need to be
the CEO of this, you need to be like the investor thing. Oh, and then I've been wondering, like,
Oh, should I change my bank? And then all of a sudden, there's this guy that I used to work with
before. And he's like, Oh, hey, I thought it was you. And so he's the assistant manager at the
bank. And so he's like, Oh, hey, I'll call you next week. And I'm like, Oh, cool. Okay, so I'm
going to call him next week. And I have that meeting with that other guy tomorrow with a
record recording thing. And I don't know, just a lot of different things being kind of thrown
up in the air. I feel like for me to explore and just like, I don't I feel super at peace. And I'm
not like, it's this interesting place where I'm like, Oh, I can start to see kind of creative
things that I can do at my work where I am right now. And then when I met all my former colleagues,
I was like, Oh, I really love them. Like, they're great. And then I was like, Oh, I think it's
gonna be something completely different. And I can't see it. And it's fine. I just fully trust
God. And there's no rush in it. You know, I'm just like, it's fine. It's great. I don't need
to have like, a timeline on it or be like, Oh my gosh, I need to like quit my job by this time or
and at the same time, I'm super transparent to have my job where I'm like, I don't know if this
is for me, you know, and that's just I mean, it's not to be negative, because I don't feel like I'm
negative. But it's also I want to be like, just honest and transparent, you know, where it's like,
because I'm not scared of like, losing my job. You know what I mean? Like, I'm like, it's
Yeah, so I'm just and it's being sold anyways, probably by the end of the year. So I'm just like,
it's all these things that I'm just that would stress me out before where I just feel super at
peace. So that feels like breakthrough. And I've been working out every single morning this week,
at six in the morning. And I mean, I've been thinking about this since forever. Well,
615 probably, but it's like, I've been doing it and it's felt effortless. Right? Like,
yeah, it's been like, not hard to get up at all. It's been like,
I mean, obviously, I've been like sweating and like, you know, like, but it hasn't felt
like, I don't know, it felt like, when I started at the last time, like way back when, and it was
my, my neighbor, then that kind of dragged me into it the last time too. And we were just literally
talking the other day. And she was like, Oh, hey, I'm doing the Kayla prop program again.
It's like, Oh, I should probably do that again. She's like, I'm on week three. I was like,
I'm on week three. I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna go on with week three with you.
I'm not going to do the whole like beginning week 123. And then start in week one, two,
I'm just going to go straight on week three, and get on the program with you. And it's worked so
great. This is what happened. So all this week, I've been like working out in the morning of
getting all of my steps in and I was like, Oh my gosh, I'm like getting a routine and like this is
you know, yeah, so it's been so that's been really
good. What do you think difference or whatever that it
now feels effortless? And you're just like, Oh, my word, I'm just
doing it. What do you think?
I mean, probably because I like you said, like, I stopped
stressing about it, like, or putting like pressure on. I need
to do this, like, you know, like, because it's, it's no
longer to like, I don't know, I don't know that I can explain it
even, you know, because, but I, obviously, I want to get in
shape and lose weight. But I feel like that hasn't been my
focus. The focus has been more like, it just fell in my lap.
And I'm like, Oh, I'm just gonna do it kind of like how I
started with swimming, like, don't think just do it's like,
Nope, this is what we're doing now. And I think it's the whole
from last week when we talked about when I got nudged by Holy
Spirit to be like, Hey, yeah, it's great that you accept
yourself. But remember, you have dominion over your own kingdom
and you're meaning your own body. Yeah. And so you actually
have to, like, do what's good for it. Yeah, that was like, Oh,
what can I do? It's like, I can stop eating candy. And I can
start working out, you know, like, like, get in that routine.
Like, I can take authority. Yeah. And make good decisions
instead of being a victim. Yeah, I felt like I was like a victim.
And then I had the realization from one of the your teachings
where I was like, Oh, I have dominion. Like, I need to take
ownership over my life. And then I went from that to like, oh, I
need to accept everything. And then when I accepted, I think
part of me kind of went back into victim mode, where it's
like, Oh, well, now I can just eat and do everything because I
you know, you know, I need to accept myself and love myself.
And then I was like, Yeah, that's great. And Holy Spirit
is like, No, remember, like the whole dominion, like you need to
like, also do that. Yeah. And so maybe it's the merging of the
two. It's like the two coming together. And then and then it
just is fine. Yeah. So I still need to like get a good routine
in with the eating and everything. But it hasn't been
bad. There hasn't been like, candy or things like this. So
that's been good. But I still have like the routine, but one
step at a time. Yeah, yeah.
It's a you're making a life change, because you're making a
different lifestyle choice. It's like, no, I'm redesigning what I
want my life to look like, like who I want to be. I think about
that sometimes when I think about especially my
interactions, like say, for instance, with other people,
like, I'm like, this is the kind of person I want to be, I want
to be the kind of person that these types of things for
people, you know, that meets this type of a need or this type
of a loves on them in this type of a way that they get to
receive this kind of thing. I want to be that kind of person.
And anyway, so I think of it as something similar, similar to
that of like, this is this is how I want to design my life,
you know, and how I interact with creation. This is what I
look like, you know, this is what I want my home environment
to look like, this is how I want my health to look like, this is
how I want to feel this is what I in other words, this is what I
want to create for myself, as opposed to, as opposed to
thinking, well, you know, this is what I want to do, I want to
eat all of this stuff. But the way that God made the my body,
my body won't let me do that. And oh, my gosh, victim to our
body, or whatever, like, well, the laws won't let me do that
the laws of physics won't let me do that. And this is such a
drag. And like something's being imposed on us instead of like,
No, this is the way things work. So because the things work like
this, what kind of a life do I want to have? Who do I want to
be? What do I, you know, how do I express and what I believe
comes through that is who it is that we are being expressed? Who
do I want to be like, in other words, who what do I value? And
therefore, whatever we value, that's what we use as our reason
and our motivation to design our life in a particular way. Because
that's what we value this type of experience, or this type of an
interaction or an interchange from us to an aspect of
creation, like this is how we want to give life. This is the
type of law that we want to give like life giving spirit, this
type of life that we want to give, we want to give it in this
way, you know, etc. And then like you said, it's very
empowering position to be able to live life as opposed to, I
have to get up. I mean, you know, at six or 16, I have to
exercise, you know, because I want this other thing. And
therefore, you know, yeah, let me do it and let the laws are
making me do this, you know, and instead of looking at it like
that, or even looking at ourselves from a victim
mentality, with God, God's making.
Yeah. Instead of that saying, no, no, we really are empowered. We get to choose. Do we want to
partner with this? What kind of a life do we want to create between us and the Lord? I think that's
great. I'm so excited for you. I'm so excited. I was like, oh my gosh, I can't believe how
easy it's been like this week, you know? And, and so my friend that I usually go with, she's like,
she texted me, she's like, oh, I won't be able to do it tomorrow. Cause I'm getting home late.
And I was like, that's fine. Like I'll be able to do that. Like by myself, like this is day five,
like I've got this. It's good. It's not like linked to anyone else or like, yeah. And like you said,
it's not like, oh, because I have to, cause I feel like that was the last time it was like,
I need to, I need to do this life change. I'm going to, you know, I'm going to weigh all my
food and I'm going to count all my calories and we're going to do this thing. And now it's just
like, no, it's good for my body to move. Like, it's good for my body to, you know, have like
work on its strength. Like that's how we were created. And it's like, I have an office job
and I don't work out in the wild, you know? So it's like, I kind of need to do it in another,
in another way, you know? Exactly. So yeah, it's just super empowering. And so I signed up
and I'm excited to eat. And next, next week is going to be like the food, but it's, it's,
it's all on, it's this like six weeks program, but it's also not like weighing or anything.
It's just, you're learning about what nutrients are good for your body. What does it do to your
body? Like why do we need proteins? Like how do you like set a plate up? Like what are the good
things of the healthy fats and like, and both end like, yes, enjoy this thing, but like not every
day, you know? So I signed up a year, like not fully a year ago. And then I tried, but I just
couldn't do it. And then I've been following it. And now I felt like, that's great. I wrote her
and I was like, Hey, can I be on the mailing list for like your next group of people? Because then
she'll write me every like, Oh, this is the week we're focusing on this. And like, how's that going?
And, and it just feels right. And I feel like, I just believe like this, it's going to be effortless,
like I'm, I'm gonna get it kind of, you know what I mean? Like, it's just gonna be like, Oh,
I'm actually gonna change my lifestyle now, but not in this like a rigid, but from from freedom
and from rest and not from the knowledge of good and evil. And, you know, like the tree of life,
you know, where it's just like, Oh, I need to count this and I need to do this and I need to
weigh this and I can't, you know, but no, it's just going to be this. This is good for my body.
Like, this is how we were created. Yeah. This is what I want for me. This is what I want for me.
This is the life style or what I, the, what the type of experience I want to give my body. This
is my body to be, this is the experience that I want to have in my body, you know, where it's
strong. I want to treat. Yeah. I want to treat my body how I believe God treats, wants to treat me,
which is good. And I'm like, well, then I want to accept and embrace, but that also means I want to
give it things that are good for it and not things to harm it. Yeah. Yeah. You know? Yeah. So I don't
know. I it'll be interesting to see. I'm hopeful. That's huge. I'm so excited. You really have made
very, very big, big breakthroughs. And because if you remember back to like, say for instance,
January, or I don't know, maybe sometime this summer, if you know, you felt stuck that we just,
there's, there's things that we know we need to change, but we just don't feel that we know
how, like, we feel like we don't know in our head what to do, or we just don't know how to,
um, they, uh, what foundation we need to be motivated by because the motivations that
we're using in order to follow these steps just aren't working, you know, anyway, and then to just,
uh, so anyway, what you're talking about and what it is that you've done and the choices that you've
made have been hard, but they're, they're huge. They're literally life shifting. Yeah. But yeah,
so excited. That's great. Yeah, I am. And I'm just like, yeah, I'm, I'm hopeful to see that, you
know, that I'm hopeful to see that, um, my body will align with like, my spirit and the soul will
like, I don't know, I, what I'm hoping or what I'm feeling is that
I, the spirit is like healing the soul, like what, what, what,
that there were some wounds there that have led me to like, be
harmed, like act harmful towards my body and like overeating or
like doing these things. And I don't know, I'm just like,
really hopeful for all of them to align now. And I can feel it
with the exercise. And so I'm just hoping, or I'm hopeful that
that is what's going to happen with the with the food as well,
and that the weight will drop, but I'm not stressing about it
the same I was. I don't feel like so I feel like that's
breakthrough in itself. Because what I really want that I've
never had since I was a kid is like, just this healthy
relationship with food where you know, like where you eat for
nutrients, but also because it's good, but you want to make good
choices for your body. And you actually want to eat healthy
because it's good. It's good, and it's good for you. Yeah. So
so I'm hopeful that that's going to be like my breakthrough where
I never have to think about like,
dieting or, you know, like counting calories. And I don't
know, it feels massive. Like you're saying it feels like a
Yeah, yeah.
A big shift. Yeah, it's it's exciting. They always say that,
that in order to make those big shifts in eating, you actually
have to love yourself and enjoy yourself. And then you end up
not desiring all of the things that don't make you feel good.
Because you enjoy yourself in your body so much that you don't
give yourself a negative experience. Yeah, because we can
think, oh, I'm trying to, I'm trying to address this wound
that I have in me by being comforted. And so I'm going to
make this food choice as my choice of comforting myself,
because I can choose myself in a variety of ways. But I'm
choosing the food to try to meet my need. But when it gives us
such a negative experience, we end up not wanting it. And so I
have the same thing with I used to be so addicted to sugar, that
even if it was cheap food, I still I still wanted it to the
point where it was like it was like an addiction. And, and I
thought this is really bad. And this is really sad. But at the
same time, it was like, well, yeah, but this is all I know.
And I noticed that when I began to love who it is that I was and
began to own more of my my own life, my own decisions, felt
empowered to design my own life kind of thing with the Lord,
obviously, but didn't feel a victim even to him. I just felt
I have the choice to obey him, but I'm not a victim to him.
Then I found that I don't want and look to sugar, or even or
food in general, but I'm just mentioning sugar to be more
specific about something. I don't look to it as a way to
comfort me. In fact, I've noticed that when I want
comfort. Sorry, I keep looking over here because people that we
live with that we live that we're renting an apartment
from, I watched him walk across the way, which I thought was so
odd, because I never seen him do that across to where other
neighbors and now they're all outside laughing so loudly, I
can hear them. And so I'm very distracted. But anyway, and that
I, I noticed that even when I want comfort now, when the
because I feel so, how do I put it? It's not even just that I
physically feel bad. When I eat when I like drink Coke, or I or,
you know, I eat junk food or whatever. It's not even that I
negatively that I that I feel physically bad. It's that
psychologically it grosses me out. Because psychologically, I
have it no longer can fill a need because it's so cheap. It
makes me feel cheap to use it as comfort. So when I'm wanting
comfort, and I'm kind of looking for it somewhere, I
usually don't get foods like it. What the image that's coming to
mind is like when you go to the movie theater, whatever, and you
get Coke and popcorn or whatever. And, and, and it's
always so much fun to get food when you go to the movie
theater, right? Well, it'll ask me, Ashley, do you want
anything? And so often I'll say, No, no, I don't. Because even
though it's fun, and it adds to the experience to have
something, psychologically, I just, I, I, I'm
value my body so much and I value who it is that I am so much that Coke feels like if
I were to drink Coke or eat popcorn with all of the chemicals on that butter, you know,
if I were to eat it, it just, or, you know, the thought of eating it just kind of repulses
me because I feel that it's how would I put it?
I mean, I know that I keep using the word cheap, but I'm trying to give an eye a better
understanding of what I mean.
It's almost like I am too, too valuable and it is too beneath me.
So why would I, would I lower myself to drink that or to just that?
It's almost like, you know, being okay with having your husband because she just want
to, because she just want to ring so badly.
You're willing to, you know, wedding ring so badly.
You're willing to just go with, you know, go with like a cheap, cheap glass instead
of diamond.
Something like that.
It's like, well, that just cheapens the whole thing is what you think.
And it's not that it cheapens the marriage.
So it's not like a perfect idea of like, it's like, no, this is a very precious thing that
we're trying to symbolize.
And why on earth would we want to cheapen it with glass?
Wouldn't we just want like nothing or, or like simple and early something.
In other words, something that actually matches the value.
And so that's how I've noticed that my mindset towards food has changed.
I have had major problems with my weight historically in my life where I've gained and lost a lot
of weight in a very short periods of time.
So I was addicted to food to that extent that and comforted myself with food to that extent
that I gained 40 pounds.
My freshman year, I'm trying to think if I gained like how, how much I gained, I think
I gained 25 or 30 pounds the first semester of my freshman year.
So by the time I went home for Christmas, I'd gained somewhere between 25 and 30 pounds.
So when it comes to like the freshman 15 of gaining 15 pounds, you know, your first
year at college, I gained between 25 and 30.
My first semester, I can, you know, I'm a driver, so I can go big or go home.
If I was going to do it in style, you're like, I'm going to do this right.
You would be shocked at how much food that I ate.
You would be shocked at how much food I would eat at every meal.
I'm shocked.
But at the time, I didn't realize it.
I was too, I was too blinded by, by my own pain, and that I didn't realize how much food
I was eating.
And now not to mention the fact that everything was had such high caloric and sugar content.
So anyway, my point is to just kind of paint a picture.
I have like really, really, really struggled very majorly in my life for like many years.
We're not talking about, oh, that was just my college phase.
No, no, no.
We're talking high school all the way through, I don't know, 20s, maybe my, maybe my mid
twenties.
I thought it was longer.
That feels longer than that has to be longer than that because it feels like so it's such
a big part of my life, but now I realize I have not struggled with it for a very long
time.
So I haven't thought about when I stopped struggling with it.
And when I like went down to what I want to know, it was my thirties.
It was in my thirties.
So anyway, my point is I, I promise that it's that if you just change your value system
of yourself and your life and experience, you want to have that these things that you
no longer have to psychologically fight the temptations that you might do, you know, your
temptations psychologically might not look like the ones I described, but we all have
reasons why we're eating and we all have things that I want to, but I'm trying not to, I want
to, but I'm trying not to.
And we all have these things.
We keep trying to talk ourselves out of in order to not be destructive in our habits
and whatever those things are, those change when we, when our reasons for those temptations
coming up, go away, we finally love ourselves and whatever we no longer have to fight to
not eat something.
We don't want to.
In fact, I'm to the point now where I had to eat a lot in order to gain some muscle
recently.
And I, I, food was just making me sick because I was like, please don't make me eat anymore.
And I never thought that I could be like that, but it is absolutely possible.
And I thought, Oh, is.
This would like, like anorexic people feel like where you feel like where they're just
like, don't, don't make me eat anymore.
It makes me feel bad.
So I'm like, no, I finally understand how that can, how that, uh, that psychology works.
But anyway, so that's encouraging, hopefully to you.
Yeah.
So encouraging.
Thank you for sharing.
Yeah.
It'll change this other stuff.
Otherwise it's just trying to change the symptoms and hard.
It's a lot more work than changing the other, changing the other, like get rid of the symptoms,
you know, root cause of anyway.
And that's what I feel like it's so interesting is that, cause I feel like what we've been
talking about this entire program, you know, is about the foundational stuff and, you know,
like going deeper into it and being loved by God and trusting him and loving ourselves
and, you know, embracing ourselves and all of that.
And like, you've been saying, Oh, as a by-product, these things will happen.
And I'm starting to see like, Oh, okay.
Maybe it's not like it happens like that, but it's like, Oh, but it's happening step
by step.
And it's like, Oh, and I'm excited about it.
You know?
So I'm excited.
You sharing this.
I'm like, Oh, I'm excited until I'm going to be there.
You know?
Cause I know I will.
You know?
And the, we're doing it this way, even though people can feel like, Oh my word, this just
takes so much longer rather than like addressing the symptom this way, it gets rid of it for
good.
Yeah.
It's just getting rid of the symptom and the amount of that you have to put into addressing
it from that perspective.
Like say for instance, doing these very extreme diets that you can't maintain that aren't
lifestyle diet and you can't maintain it.
Well, the problem with, with, with those is that the amount of effort that you have to
put in, like, like emotionally and psychologically in order to sustain yourself in that diet
is not a season.
That is what you have to do in order to keep whatever it is that you, whatever it is that
whatever goal you reached, you have to continue that internal exerted effort.
Maybe not that diet.
You could try another one, but the internal effort that it takes to me, because whatever
you use in order to get something is what you have to use to maintain it.
So if you do it this other way, you're dealing with the foundation and therefore it's effortless
to maintain.
Yeah.
And so I just personally prefer once I discovered this, meaning like once I discovered how to
deal with like root issues that the Lord created for us to deal with root issues.
It's like, Oh, my word.
It makes the rest of my life easy because I'm, I'm being, I'm willing to put in the
hard work, not the hard work.
How do I put that?
It willing to put in the time on the front end in order to, you know, it'll take a bit
longer to get, you know, X, Y, and Z accomplished or X, Y, and Z manifestation, but I get to
enjoy the manifestation and the effortless of maintaining it for the rest of my life.
And anyway, and it's only people that, that see that value and are willing to see the
value in that, that can do this.
Other people are just like quick fix.
I'm like, okay, you can, you can go to someone else to give you a quick fix anyway, but yeah.
Well, I'm excited.
It's huge.
I'm so excited.
Yeah.
It really is.
Cause it's like I did the, I've been doing all the different diets that didn't work
and then COVID, I started like this program, but like that was also very rigid.
So, and what I could see is that that was able to sustain me for a while until life
crumbled and my dad passed away and, you know, like all of these things happened and I felt
out of control and then I went straight back into it and I gained everything that I've
been working for, for like three years, like that, you know?
And yeah, but, but now I'm like, oh, but obviously cause I, I hadn't dealt with the
root issue.
That's the thing.
It was just dealing with the symptoms.
And so it's like, yeah, of course I could go.
And now it's like, because I'm on this journey, it's almost like, God's been like, no, those
things didn't work, you know?
And it's cause he wants to address the root issue and have me be free forever, you know,
which I'm so excited about.
So this is so encouraging.
This is why I wanted to like go after the weight first is because it's like, or like
this whole like issue one, because it's been a major struggle in my life forever.
But also cause it's something that you physically can see.
And I feel like if I get that, it manifests in like all these other areas of life.
And so that's what I'm seeing now is like, oh, well, it's not like I have to do this
and then these things happen.
It's like, no, this is a way of life.
Like you're saying this is a way of living.
Yeah.
And it just affects all the areas of your life.
You don't just work with one, you know, it's like, it's the general thing.
Like you just like choose to trust God and that he's good and that he has control and
you can actually let it go and like love yourself.
And then.
and things just start falling into place.
Yeah.
Good.
I'm so excited.
Also, I'm so excited too.
So very excited.
The testimony of like in the updates of where you are
and I hope you enjoy the session that I uploaded.
Oh yeah, I'm so excited to hear it.
You know, it's about, I'm talking about, you know,
how to get to know ourselves
when we're actually stopping stifling
or denying who it is that we actually are.
So who comes up?
Cause we've been afraid of that.
Then we just in this past session, you know,
made the choice to fully accept ourselves
unconditionally and the Lord.
However we discover in this discovery process
that we actually are.
And then all of that stuff will now,
now we're inviting all of that stuff to come up
so we can get to know who it is that we are.
And then a big part of what I talk about is in the emotions
and the decisions as well.
But I focus mainly on the emotions.
How do we, when, as they come up,
how do we let things go that we don't,
that are indicative of things in us
that we don't want to keep.
There are things that are, that are going to come up
that are like dreams and that are good, positive things.
But then there are other things that are just,
that cause us to actually stifle all of our emotions,
including joy and happiness,
because we're trying to stifle the negative emotions.
And when we do, we stifle all of them,
but we stifle all emotions.
So in the negative ones, we're trying to stifle fear.
We're trying to stifle our anger
because well, I shouldn't be mad, you know,
and we're trying to stifle all these.
We're not really realizing it and getting to know ourselves
and know honestly, truly, how am I viewing this situation?
Am I honestly repulsed by this person or not?
And if we are, and that's one of the examples
that I mentioned there,
if you're repulsed by someone
to acknowledge that to yourself,
no, that really is me being repulsed by this person.
It doesn't mean that you agree with this fact
that you should stay like that,
or you agree with where on earth that that's coming from,
or that that's coming from any kind of truth.
It's just that you're being honest that that,
and honest that that is coming out of you
and to not disassociate yourself from what you're feeling.
Like, nope, that was a choice that I made.
Not the choice that your identity and spirit made,
but yourself is like,
you are your soul and your body as well.
You have a soul in your body
and your soul is making that choice.
So it's like, okay, well, in order to let it go,
I have to acknowledge that it's true
and I have to associate myself with it.
Not associate your identity with it,
but associate that, hey, your soul, your soul,
nobody else's, your soul made that choice.
And then now you can deal with it and whatever.
So I talk about that.
I talk about, and then I talk about decisions
and how the decision,
we can look at past decisions that we've made
and how we're actually living out
the results of those decisions
can tell us things about ourselves
and where we're putting our value,
what it is that we believe, et cetera.
And then how we can look at how,
at our current decision-making process
as we're making decisions
and use that to get to know ourselves.
Like, oh my goodness, I'm wanting to do this.
Why would I want to do that?
You know, et cetera.
And getting to know ourselves that way.
So anyway, that's what I talked about.
So I hope it's interesting.
Oh yeah, I'm so excited to hear it.
Thanks for including.
Good.
Well, I'll let you go then.
Thank you so much.
I'll try to make it on Monday,
but I get Texas in the house on Saturday
and they're staying until Wednesday.
So I don't know how that's gonna work out,
but if not, I'll join on Thursday, if not.
Okay, that sounds good.
All right, we'll have fun.
Well, I will definitely.
Thanks.
I'm excited.
It's like her and her brother
and her dad and her step-mom.
So the whole crew.
That's so special.
Yeah, it's gonna be really great.
I'm excited.
Well, give me any updates you need to
and via WhatsApp in the meantime.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I will.
Likewise.
Okay, yeah, thanks.
We'll see you.
Yeah, yeah.
Hope you're feeling better.
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
Bye.
Okay, bye.