Okay.
Love you. Have a good day.
Hey Priscilla.
Hey.
Sorry, I'm a bit late.
Oh, that's okay. I was actually late to. Oh my goodness. My day is just.
Yeah, just been one of those days. I'm sorry.
Yeah.
Yesterday was that day for me. I haven't had a day like that.
In a while. It was just, it was just a heavy day.
Heavy.
Things came up and, and stuff.
Anyway, it wasn't, it wasn't with.
It wasn't with Ed and I.
It was with people we knew and that, and it crossed our paths.
And then on top of that, I wasn't feeling well.
And I couldn't figure out why.
And I slept for 12 hours last night. I was just that.
I don't know. Something was going on. And finally I woke up.
I woke up at like.
Two 45.
In the morning and, and I had a splitting headache and I thought, okay,
I didn't go to bed with a headache and now I have a headache.
I know what this is. This is dehydration.
And I was like, I don't know what's going on.
But I, so apparently that's why I was feeling bad yesterday and why I
slept so long and just couldn't get up because it was like,
I feel horrible. What's going on.
I was dehydrated though.
Today we're checking the water.
Oh, yes. I get that.
That'll help me tackle the day better.
Yeah.
Hey, how are you guys?
Good.
The news.
I know.
How are you doing this summer?
How are you doing?
I'm doing good. It's interesting.
I think a couple of weeks ago I ran into.
I was at the cafeteria at work and I was just like,
There's this one woman that I don't really know.
I don't know if I told you guys that, but I don't really know her.
And I was like, Oh, Hey, how are you?
Cause she's on the social committee. And she was like,
Like the.
Oh, I just, I just got news that my ex-husband's appeal was dismissed.
And I was like, Hmm, I'm going to claim that for myself. If she appeals.
That's just going to be dismissed. I'm like,
I'm going to take this as a little wink from heaven.
And then.
Because.
If it's like it is in the States, it has to be very.
Very significant.
In order to appeal appealing, isn't just easy, you know,
to take all that court time. I mean, there has to be approval.
There has to be.
You know,
there has to be enough evidence that the judge did not make a good
decision or the jury. I'm not sure if there was a jury.
No, there wasn't.
There was.
Oh, there wasn't. Okay.
No.
And in all of that. So it's no little deal to actually.
Be able to get an appeal. So hopefully.
That's the case.
Yeah, that's what I'm hoping to. So, but I froze.
Yeah.
The interesting thing is just as I saw it, I was just like.
Gross. And I was like, I was sitting and having lunch and I was like,
I have to leave.
And then I just went. And by the time I made it up to my office,
I was like,
I'm okay.
I'm okay. Like.
God's got this. It's fine.
And so I was like, I texted you guys. I texted them, my friends.
And I was like,
No, I still feel like victory is ours.
Yeah.
And one of my friends says, well,
the first battle is about.
Taking the ground.
And the second battle is about keeping your ground.
So I was like, okay.
She's like, well, you're gaining authority in this. And so.
The devil's not about to just give you stuff just for free.
Like just, he's not going to give up without a fight.
And I'm like, but he's on the losing team. So.
Yeah.
So, but it's interesting.
Cause I was like, oh, if this happens,
then I'm just going to quit my job.
And just be like, peace out.
Cause we have three months here before you can leave.
When you quit your job. It's not like a two weeks notice.
Yeah.
Like three months before.
Yeah.
Three months.
Yeah.
If they let you go as well, three months.
Yeah.
I know. Yeah.
No, it's it's three months and it's like, yeah.
So I'm like, oh man.
And so, but so I feel like today.
I've had like a lot of good,
just like connections and like feedback from people just like,
you know, like that. And then.
just brings like a sliver of like hope of what's to come.
I feel like it's very God too. Like in the middle of it.
Yeah, so it's been like an interesting. I went to a
conference last week. And that was with my old job. And so it
felt like, Oh, this is so like, so nice to see everyone. And
they're like, Oh, you belong here, like you need to work
here. And then I was there with a colleague. And then I was
going for a meeting with somebody else after so I was
like, Oh, I feel like I'm living in my past, present and future.
Like there's something unknown there in the future. So yeah, so
I've had this meeting with this, I think I told you guys that
about this guy that has its own like music thing. And um, I
wasn't quite feeling it. And I didn't know. And then I had
another meeting today with my friend Christiana that I've
been working with for a while. And her husband is half
Norwegian, half American. And he's, he's been thinking about
different solutions. And when he was talking, I was like, Oh my
gosh, this is what I've been sensing. But I haven't been able
to like, see, how can I make this happen? So I don't know, it
just felt like he had some possible solutions as to what it
could look like for me to start my own business, to collaborate
with them to be able to work both here and in the States. And
I don't know, I just felt like hope in the middle of all the
drama. That's so so that's why I'm like, Oh, I'm great. I'm,
I'm not. Well, I'm good. I'm a bit tired. I've had a bit of a
cry. But it's good, because I felt like, oh, I went to the
chiropractor earlier. And before I would always go get candy. And
I didn't today. And I've just had like fruit. And then I saw
something like of my dad, and then I just started crying. And
I'm like, Oh, this is good. It's like, my emotions are coming up.
So it just it. So it feels okay. Yeah.
I'm so glad. Yeah. So yeah, you're having that special. And
I already want to call that the, I was gonna say that connection
with the Lord, but just that, that holding on to him, and then
truly feeling that connection between you and him of like, No,
he says that he is this to me. And that's what I'm using.
That's great. And it just feels very different. Yeah, just like
great. Well, you know that, like what your friend said, of
gaining ground, and then and then holding the ground. That's
what the burial time is, because you know, there's death,
burial, then resurrection. And there's always that time in
between that we don't like, but the time in between, you know,
the burial, that's the time in which you're proving that what
happened in the decision that you made, and the fact that you
really did die to that thing really did happen. And so that's
what that that that is. And, and we know that, because in Bible
times, when Jesus, the reason that Jesus had to stay dead for
three days is, after three days, you really did know that someone
was dead. Otherwise, back then, they didn't have the medical
know how to know whether or not for sure someone was dead.
Because every now and then someone would just fall into such
a deep coma that they thought they were dead, but they weren't
really and so they would give them three days in the legal
system, it wasn't until three days that you knew that someone
really was dead. And so or two, I thought it was three days, I
was gonna say or two days, whatever it was, Jesus passed
that point. And then he rose in order to prove that he really
was dead, you know, by their legal system. But of course, you
know, he everything that he did was also a spiritual example to
us of what we're getting, we can expect and go through. So when
we go through a death, when we in other words, when we let
something go, there's usually time between the end, and then
and then the resurrection and walking in more in the power of
the freedom that we've had. And then what that time is, is it's
considered basically the burial time or the time in which you're
proving that you really do own that ground. You really, you
really did do what you know, it really did happen, you know, etc.
So anyway, that's kind of that's also what happened with Jesus
when he was going through the wilderness for 40 days, is he
was proving that it that what Jesus had what God had declared
over him at when he was baptized by john the baptist in the end
that you know, the Holy Spirit came down on him and everything
and he said, This is my son in whom I'm well pleased. He
declared over him, this is who you are. And then Jesus had to
go through a time in which it was proven that he already was
the thing, not not, he wasn't fighting to be the thing. He was
simply having to go through a time in which he was proving that
he already was the thing, which enabled him to go through this,
this, the the wilderness time in, in strength. So anyway, that
it so it the burial time.
is nothing, excuse me, is nothing to be afraid of because what it's proving is it's not proving that
you won the court case. It's proving that you really did let it go. Yeah. So you're going
through this time that is, it almost feels like a test and it's not God testing us like, oh,
let's see if it really did happen. Let's see if it's really true, but rather kind of like a, um,
a it's, it's called proofing something when you, when you put something like through fire or you
put it up through all of these, like, uh, when, when they'll create materials and factories and
they'll put in through tests, simply doing is there simply, um, it's what they call proofing
it. They're, they are, I don't know how to describe it. It's they're proving that it
really is true. They're not seeing if it really is true. Yeah. So, and it's called proofing it,
and then they can make their claims and all of that good stuff. So anyway, so you've already
done the thing and now you're simply going through proving in the spiritual realm. No,
I really am. This is now who I am. This is the choice. My flesh really did die. Yeah. It wasn't
fake. It wasn't. I hope so. I wish so it really did happen. I am now spirit in this area. And then
you know that based off of how you're responding during this time. And so, but it's still a trial.
In other words, it's still a struggle because you have a habit, you know, meaning like we all do
of like the old man, whenever we're triggered in this situation. So this time you're like, nope,
I've got to remember that I'm actually not that anymore. And I really did die. I really did let
this thing go to the Lord. And that's how I felt. I like panicked. And then I went up and I was like,
it's okay. It's okay that you felt scared and that you froze, but you don't have to,
because God's got this like, exactly. And so that is what was different to me. And even like today,
when I was speaking to Christiana and, um, um, when I was, when I was speaking to like Christiana
and Eric and he was like, pretty much verbalizing and making something solid in, in, oh, this is a
way moving forward of things that I've been. And it was just interesting. Cause it's the whole,
like being dying to the whole like dream of America. And all of a sudden he's like, Hey,
I don't know if moving to America is something you would ever want to do. But if you do like,
Hey, we can start like an LLC together. And like, we'll just do this together and create this so,
so that we can, you know, but you can start in Norway first. And if you want to wait with all
of this and you're not in a space of dreaming. And I'm like, you know what? I'm like, God gave
me a word for November and that was dream. And I'm going to dream regardless of this. Yeah. He
gave me that in January. Yeah. You know, January 11th, he was like dream. Yeah. So, um, so I was
like, you know what? I'm going to dream. And this is just going to have to like take its course on
the side because regardless God's got me and he has a plan for this. So it's like, whether it's
this or this, it's like, it's, it's going to be okay. Yeah. Now what business do you want to do?
You told me before, but I don't remember that was like months ago. Well, that's the thing that I
haven't. Cause he's like, Oh, it looks like you starting your own company first. And I was like,
well, I have my own company, but, but that's more about investment stuff. So I want to learn about
that so that I can learn how to, you know, how sometimes people invest and then you can like
take out an, an, an, an income from that just from like investing in stocks and stuff like that. So
I want to learn more about that. Yeah. But then I think I just, I was speaking to my friend right
before now she came by and she's like, no, cause I was like, Oh, maybe I should start another
company under them. She's like, no, I think I would just start one separate. So I think I'm
going to do that. Just need to think of a cool name. Yeah. And it's always best to keep stuff
like that separate because otherwise legally one can affect the other. Yeah. And that's what I'm
thinking, especially since yeah. Yeah. And especially since this will be like
cooperating with the States as well, like it's going to look different.
So what she has, so they have a company called do less management and do less production. So
she does music management and he just like film and advertising and stuff like that.
And so I've pretty much been working with them for three years, but just kind of like on a
volunteer basis basis. So there hasn't been any like income or anything like this, but I just
have a lot of fun with them. And so we do like songwriting camps and stuff like that. And we
really want to like create songs to then have you know, pit put in movies and, and advertising like
sync essentially. So.
that part of it, I would love to be a part of. So actually, what
we're looking at is then actually buying a house
together to flip. Okay, like, you know, so he's, he's talking
to somebody who just like flip to it's called flip to freedom.
But we'd like to find a house that we can like, fix up, and
then have it as a place to have songwriting camps, and then have
a studio in there. And then when these things that you know, if
this like starts, because then you can pay rent to yourself,
which would go into the company. And I don't know how all of a
sudden, it just started to seem like a possibility. And, and
with me living here, we have a lot of government funds, both
for like music for film. And since I live here, I can apply
for it. So I could apply to like, maybe take some people
with me to go to like a conference or to go to like a
writing thing in the States, you know, and they would give grants
for that, because they want to so into culture, and they, so I
just have to like find and learn about these different things.
But it was just cool, because it's things that I've been
thinking about, like, oh, I want to have my own company and, and
do like writing and do music and do all of this, but I don't know
what it's gonna look like. And I don't know how. And then here I
have these people that I really like, and that are also like, so
Christiana used to work with like Taylor Swift, like the he
she's now working in a studio with another Norwegian guy that
I know, and they're on like, Justin Bieber's extended team. So
it's like, it's like fun people. They're working. You know what I
mean? So it's just like, oh, all of a sudden, I don't know. And I
feel like God's just dropped me in it. Because it wasn't nothing
I really ever like, have been thinking about. So yeah, that's
but look at all things to answer your question. It looks like I
would always, one of my things has been, I would love to create
things that brings freedom to people, whether that's through
like music, film, whatever, like, I would just love to be
like a freedom fighter. Yeah, but I love the creative stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
That's really great. You're at all of the opportunities and how
you're feeling and how you're doing and then the hopefulness
and what you're looking at the future compared to how you felt
back in like, January or February and everything. Yeah,
exciting.
Yeah. And I think if we would have like, if she wouldn't have
appealed, I was like, then I'm gonna quit my job just now. And
then just like, take it as it comes. And I'm like, well, maybe
I'll just wait a little bit longer and just like play. And I
think that has to do with currently, it would still just be
like, get me out of here. You know what I mean? Like, and I
don't I think I'm supposed to be at a different place, maybe
stay there until it's sold or something. It just doesn't feel
quite finished yet.
That's good to know. You know, that you don't feel that. Sorry,
there's this huge wasp. And that you don't feel like things are
quite finished. So so that you can know for yourself. Okay, you
know, I think I'm supposed to be here. Come on. Yeah. Sorry, I've
had a we I've had a we had a swarm the other day of these
things. And so anyway, Oh, the wasp came back. He's fine. Um,
so that's great. I'm so glad. And, and it sounds like you're
doing really good, especially after the news today, which is
huge for you to feel that way. Because what it is that I walk
people through, and I was talking to Ed about this last
night, that the thing that I really walk people through is
not always just how to handle things. But really, because
every now and then I give, you know, people wondering, well,
how do I handle this, that and the other situation? You know,
from a place of rest, how do I actually handle it? But mainly
what I do is I just help people, you know, understand, how do you
shift into rest while going through this situation? Not
really, how do you act? How do you things to actually do in
this situation? And so anyway, it sounds like you are handling
this really, really with the Lord. And it's interesting,
isn't it how big of a change that it can make inside of us
just by shifting our, our shifting our, our faith, you
know, just like, okay, Lord, you know, do in other words, doing
something so simple, it's hard to do. But it's honestly,
extremely simple. It's not complex to have all of these
bells and whistles and all these levers you have to pull at the
right moment. You know, it's just very simple. It's good. So
God said, just believe me, what did I say, stand on what I said.
And that it's, it's just that simple thing. It's a challenge
to do, but it's simple. And then when we do that, it's wild how
much our life changes. And we are expecting that if our if we
want our life to change majorly, well, then it's going to take a
complex set of scenarios in order to fix it, or in order to
fix how we feel and it's not. And and also, it lets us know
that we can, you know, by having
And by having this experience, you know, like you have, it lets us know that the, um, that
these situations are, uh, that you, that you don't have to have these situations go away
in order to be okay, that you can be okay.
And in freedom, even while going through the situation to the fact that we've always thought,
you know, growing up that, Oh my word, in order to be free, the situation has to go
away.
It's to prove to us, no, your freedom has nothing to do with the situation.
I never want you to feel enslaved based on your situation.
Yeah.
That's great.
I'm very excited for you.
I am too.
Thanks.
Well, Priscilla, I love your Magnolia Waco shirt.
Thank you.
Annette, are you aware of, of, of Magnolia, you know, Chip and Joanna Gaines?
Um,
Oh yeah.
I didn't make the connection, but yeah, I do know about there.
Yeah.
So Priscilla came down to Texas.
I don't know, a few months ago, something like that.
Uh, January.
Yeah.
Oh, it's January.
Yeah.
I had Texas in my house this weekend.
That's right.
Awesome.
Yeah.
I know that you had fun with your friend.
That's great that she was like, Oh, but you, so you bought the t-shirt when you were down
there.
That's in Waco, right?
Yeah.
That is.
Yeah.
Which is about, uh, an hour and five, two hours from me, I think something like that
north of Dallas.
Oh, okay.
Do you still have the house guests, Priscilla?
Yes.
I do.
Oh, that's what we were going to be talking about.
Yeah.
She came on, um, uh, I think I might move over a little bit.
I'm like really close to my door.
Yeah.
She came last.
So she arrived in Pennsylvania on Thursday, but then she didn't come to our house until
Friday.
Um, and, or no, Saturday we got home from Montana on Friday.
Um, and then, so she came Saturday and she has been here ever since and she plans to
leave on, um, sorry, let me see if I can put this into full screen.
She plans to leave on Monday.
Um, okay.
So yeah, it's a long trip.
Yeah, it is.
She's here for about a week.
And so she is somebody who had reached out to me on Instagram.
Like I think we've been talking for the last six months, something like that.
She's a very conservative Mennonite from, uh, Virginia.
And so she's like a beachy Mennonite and comes from a very controlling family, very controlling
church, all the things.
And, um, she was a victim of child rape and that was like 13 years ago.
And so she had blocked that from her memory, but then she, uh, started, she started having
flashbacks and stuff like a year and a half ago.
Um, and before that she had been sent to like this, um, ministry here in Pennsylvania that's
run by like the charity Mennonite people.
I don't know if you would be familiar with any of them, Ashley, but, um, anyway, she
was there for a year.
They were, she was so controlled there that it was like, I would, I would, um, equate
it to like spiritual abuse and mental abuse.
Um, she had a lot of really scary spiritual experiences there, like demonic manifestations,
um, to, and she was completely new to the spiritual world.
Like her church is extremely, um, they're, they're not, they don't believe in it.
Well, I mean, I think they would say they believe in it, but they don't believe in like,
um, she would never have been comfortable with the Holy spirit or like any, any gifts
of the spirit.
Um, so then to throw her into that, it was like, Oh my, I felt so bad for her.
Um, so anyway, she was there for a year.
She felt like she had found some healing there.
Like not everything that it was bad.
They just had no training and they were, they like, it was just this couple that had never
had any kids.
They had, didn't have any training when it came to, um, sexual abuse and all of the girls
that were coming to this home had horrible home lives, had some, you know, a lot of them
had sexual abuse, but yeah, no formal training.
And um, so, you know, a lot of things that can look like demonic manifestations, like
panic attacks and flashbacks, you know, all those things.
I agree that, you know, the, the demonic spiritual realm is very real, but your body is also
capable of doing a lot without it being a demonic manifestation.
Um, so anyway, so she came home, then stuff started coming out about this
place that it's not great.
And then, um, and then she felt betrayed.
She's like, oh my goodness here.
She thought that she would, she got help here and now she's finding out that it
was just another place that she was controlled and manipulated and so anyway.
And then after that, after that year is then when she started having
flashbacks about her abuse and, um, that's not the only thing that has
happened to her, but, um, anyway.
And so then I forget, she started messaging me about six months ago.
Um, she was very suicidal at one point and then she came, um, I would tell
her sometimes I'm like, Hey, like, if you ever just want to come to Pennsylvania
for a little bit of a reprieve, like just come and we'd love to have you.
And anyway, so she ended up coming.
She had a wedding.
So he knows a lot of people here.
Cause she lived here for a year when she went to that ministry thing.
Um, and so, and she had a, I think I told you this Ashley, but she has a
friend named Priscilla that lives in the area, so she told her parents
that she's staying with Priscilla, but she didn't tell them which Priscilla.
And keep in mind, she's 23.
Like she's an adult, but the poor girl has been so controlled
and so manipulated her whole life.
Like, I feel like she's just now starting to realize that she can maybe
actually have a different life.
Yeah.
So when she came, it was good.
Like she she's great.
We love her.
She has a great personality.
She's really funny.
And like, just, but she, she hates herself.
She has so much self hatred.
Um, but she, um, so she started saying things that made me feel
like she was being threatened.
Um, and I was starting to be very concerned and, um, she was terrified
that the person that was threatening her, it was an online scam.
Um, so like they had stole thousands of dollars from her bank account.
Um, so it was like, they got her debit card number because of a
link she clicked on or whatever.
And then stole house.
Since the dollars from her bank account, while this person somehow they had
been, they had been messaging her on Instagram for like six, the period
over like six months, and I feel like with being raised the way she was
and not being very tech wise, she didn't know to just like block communication.
Um, and so she would like talk to them and kind of like, I think she's
shared a little bit of personal information, like about her past.
And then they started using that against her, like saying,
threatening her with that.
And I think that combined with all of the trauma that she's gone through and
all of the fear from that experience, she started believing that this person
was her rapist, like from when she was 10.
And so, and she couldn't even the poor girl, like she can't even when she
tries to talk about what happened, like she's literally curls up in a
fetal position.
And like, it's, it's really, really hard to watch.
So anyway, that all happened.
She finally told me about all that stuff Tuesday night.
Um, and that night, Oh my word.
It was awful.
I did not fall asleep till probably 6 00 AM.
And I was so affected by now.
I feel like I've learned so much through it because at that time I was like, okay,
are we dealing with a real threat?
Or am I like, is this the spirit of fear?
And now looking back, I'm like, okay, it was clearly the spirit of fear
because it was overwhelming.
Like my whole body was like feeling it and I was terrified.
And I feel like if it would have been a real threat, like the Lord would have
given us clear direction and would have been like, do this, do this, do this.
And yeah, but it was, I think the spirit of fear was just really at work.
So anyway, um, I actually called my neighbor at like 3 AM because that was
after she had gone to bed, but I was like, you have to tell me what to do
because she's also been, um, she was trafficked and all kinds of things.
And so she knows a lot about this world.
Um, but then the next day we called a counselor that we had just seen.
So Tuesday night, Arnold and I actually went to this class.
Ashley was telling you about that called equipped to counsel and very
spirit led people.
Like, we felt so good about it.
Like, I was just like, this is awesome.
Like they have the tools, but they're very, um, they do it from a spirit led
place.
Like, it's not like get equipped to counsel so that you can do this.
It's more like if the Lord calls you to do this, do it, but you don't need
that in order to help people.
And I was like, wow.
Okay.
I love these people.
Um, but anyway, so we called him then the next day and I told him a little bit of
what was going on.
And he was like, at this point, because she's saying somebody's threatening her,
you have to get the police involved.
And so we did, and I was, I was terrified, Ashley.
Like, I was so afraid she was going to hate me forever, but I was just like,
you can't stay at our house.
If we are not sure that there's no threat to your life or ours.
And so, um, we sat her down and I was like, because of this, like we are.
to have to call the police and I said you are an adult and so I can't force you to do this
but if you're not willing to then you're going to have to find somewhere else to stay
and but we want you here like we want to keep you here as long as we know we can keep you safe
so and she agreed to it like it was oh my word it was so hard for her like
Mennonite people do not call the police ever and so anyway and then we had to wait like three hours
for the police to show up because we don't have a police force in our town so we have to wait for
the state police to come anyway so but then it was amazing because after we did that so it took
her probably about an hour to like recover from us telling her that and then it was like this
huge weight had lifted off of her and she started like talking and like talking to Arnold and I it
was just Arnold and I at home and she just like I was like wow okay and then when the trooper came
he was so kind and he was a dad and he and and he actually by the end of the conversation had
convinced her to file a report with her police station at home about what happened to her 10
years ago or 13 years ago which is like that is huge and he told her I I felt like the love of
God was coming through her whether he knew it or not like the love of a father was coming through
to her even though he was still very professional he was just like I'm a dad he's like if my daughter
would come to me with something like this he would tell her to go for blood you know he's like this
is not okay and he point blank told her he's like people who do this kind of thing are not good
people they're not your friends and he's like and and I felt like it was kind of like a reality
check for her like why am I trying to protect these people like they don't deserve to be
protected when they do things like this they need to have the consequences and and plus they're just
going to keep abusing you know if nobody speaks up so her parents don't know have no clue I think
her parents know that that she was raped but they were very like um critical as far as like well why
didn't you come to us sooner and like they're not a safe place and the first time money was stolen
from her her dad completely flew into a rage and he was so mad at her like how could you be so dumb
and let this happen and even though the reason that she even gave these people her information
was because they were threatening her about her dad and that's often how these scams work like
they will find information about you on the internet who you're associated with and they'll
be like they they can find who your father is on the internet so easily and be like we have this
information and it was about you know how her dad is I guess he's been pretty abusive through the
years and they're like unless you give us money we're going to make sure that all this gets out
you know so anyway the poor thing was trying to protect her dad and then you know I don't know if
he knows all that stuff but anyway so we got through that and then by the end of the conversation
with the police officer we were like okay like we can safely say this is not a real person like this
is not her abuser this is not a real threat that we need to be concerned about she just needs to
maybe change her phone number change her bank account information and be more careful on the
internet so then after that it was like so much better like she was so happy and her and I went
out for pedicures last night and um I remember like through all of this she yesterday morning
before we ended up having to call the police she just kept saying over and over again she's like
she's just not used to being this cared for like she's not used to being she's not used to feeling
this safe like it's actually like a lot for her to process and accept correct so she told her
parents they criticized her when she told her parents about the about the issue with the um the
scam they criticized her so it's just like no she's not used to someone protecting her and be
like no this isn't right we're going to call the police you deserve to be taken care of
that's a huge thing to process yeah yeah so now today I can tell that she's like thinking about
things I'm not sure what and I feel like I'm not sure that I should dig into it I'm just kind of
giving her space tonight we're actually going to a church thing um there's a lady coming to speak
about sound mind awareness so I'm kind of hoping that the lord's going to use some of these things
to wrap up some like loose ends that she's probably she thinks like she is constantly thinking and
constantly trying to reconcile stuff in her mind like I know that one day the lord is going to be
is going to call her into ministry like there's no question but I mean I don't even tell her that
because I know she's like she doesn't see it at all but I mean she is she connects the dots like
between people do and why so anyway yeah I feel like I'm still very affected by all this because
literally as soon as I started talking
Like my whole body is like tense and I'm shaking extremely behind in sleep.
I know.
Yeah.
So yeah, there's my life and I'm homeschooling and I'm doing business and I
literally don't know what to do with my seven-year-old and I don't know if we can
get through the school year and I want to send him to school.
So there's that.
I, I did, I did discover.
So did I ask you this?
Maybe have you heard of the disc profile?
Oh yeah.
Okay.
So I had like this light bulb moment.
Arnold and I have never done the disc until we were doing this class at church
about how to understand the love of your life.
And I all of a sudden realized that Monty is a high D like extremely, yes.
And I, that personality type irritates me.
That's me.
Oh, you're a D.
I'm a very high D, very high D.
I just, I am a very high D.
That's how I was able to do business with mostly only men.
I'm going to need more explanation on that.
High D, I see my I and my S can be almost negligible.
I've had to compensate though.
And you know, the Lord's had to heal me a lot.
And so the guy who gave me the desk and he's a professional at this, this is what
he does, he gives people the desk.
He, he's a team builder for like Disney and Microsoft and all this stuff.
And so he gave it to me and he, I was with him one time taking a class with him
when he was telling a whole bunch of nine one, one dispatchers, he said, Hey, by
the way, and you see the lady in the back of the room there, he said, she, he
said, you would never know it if you interact with her.
He said, she's a very high D, high C, you know, she's a DC.
And then he said her I and her S are almost negligible.
So by the way, Annette, are you familiar with D with the desk?
Uh, program profile.
I'm familiar with it, but I'm not to the point where I could say what, what
like all the letters are dominant and C is high detail.
And then I is something like influential or something like that.
Um, they love people.
They love, um, they, they love interacting with other people.
Social things are very important to them.
And then an S means basically steady, steadfast, very dependable,
very consistent, et cetera.
So, which is funny.
I am very dependable and consistent, but I love spontaneity.
So anyway, but the thing is that he told him, he said, Ashley is a perfect
example of what it's like when you fully commit yourself to the Lord, because
he said, you would never guess she's the DC, but she doesn't act like,
so I'm like, that's a really encouraging.
Think about it anyway.
Yeah.
You'd never know.
I'm a very, very high D and, and that's the thing.
Like I feel too, like I always take these like personality things with a grain of
salt because I feel like, yeah, it helps us understand people.
And yet, you know, like you said, fully committed to the Lord is like, it takes
care of a lot of the, um, challenges with the different types or whatever.
But Monty like, and I, I think I used to think he's more like me and I'm extremely
high.
I and Arnold extremely high S and aren't both of those people motivated.
I think if I remember right.
I definitely is.
And S is a little bit big.
Yeah, it's somewhat.
Yeah.
But anyway, and I just kind of like a light bulb went off in my head.
Cause I think I'd always thought Monty is so much like me, but then he would do
things that were just like, where does this go?
Why would you do that?
Like, why anyway?
And I'm realizing he likes to be in charge and I don't think it's just a kid thing.
Like our other kids are not like that as much, but we are literally like this all
day long.
And I'm at the point where I'm like, I don't even know what to do.
Like, I feel like one of those, one of those books you read where parents are like,
all of a sudden we realized that everything we had done through the years was wrong.
And here was the proof, you know?
And like with them, we had to like go for therapy and, and, and all this stuff.
And I'm just like, I, I am, I know I'm further ahead in my parenting to realize
that obedience is not everything, but I also feel like, how in the heck are we
supposed to have a peace filled home?
If he doesn't realize that our authority means something.
And how do I get him to realize that?
Like, I don't even know.
Like, I am like, how can parenting be this incredibly hard?
So anyway, yeah.
So you're going through a lot.
Yeah.
So how are you like, I mean, I know that you're everything that you described is,
you know, it's a lot, it can feel very overwhelming and be.
okay, I'm navigating all of these things. So what are you feeling? Where, how do you feel like you
are right now? Um, with the Lord in handling all of these things, like, okay, well, all these things
are hard and we all have to navigate them because you still have, even when we're in rest, you have
to navigate, you have to navigate through chaos in rest. So the chaos is still there. So how are
you, how do you feel that you are in the midst of all of this? You know, where do you find your
challenges where you feel encouraged and like, you know what, I can see a change, but I can't
seem to pass the threshold here or. Yeah. Well, I think I'm unsure of what to, what to label
as change. Like, because I think I've been gauging it by like Monty's behavior when it comes to like
things with Monty, I'm always like, well, okay, in order for this to improve, like something has
changed with the behavior piece. And that just hasn't changed. I feel like it like today was
just awful. And I realized that our schedule has been off and that's probably part of it.
But at the same time, I'm just like, I don't know. So I think as far as my relationship with the Lord,
I, I feel secure in that. And I know like the Lord has given me a lot of like, I feel like I'm in my
element when I am, you know, when I'm talking to Monica and ministering to her and just anybody.
And I did notice that with her, I'm not, I'm not scared, like, and not just her, but the people
that I've been ministering to in the last two months, I haven't been scared to be like, this
is what I believe. And I haven't been scared to like like one thing that I did with her was she,
she often says like, what other people think of something like that's what she'll say. Like,
well, people back home think this and this and this, and I'm like, okay, but what do you say?
Yeah. And she knows the truth. Like she knows it. And that's what I tell her. I'm like,
you know, you are born again. Like you have the Holy spirit within you and you in Christ together,
like, you know, the truth and you can speak that you, you don't have to be defined by what other
people think anymore. Like you get to say what the truth is because you know, the truth anyway,
but it's so many huge steps for her. I mean, it just huge. And so that part, I feel like, wow,
okay, I've made a lot of progress. But I feel like probably what's lacking for me right now
is like personal care from the Lord to me. And yet I feel cared through for through all of it.
It's more just, it's more like a, a through flow and not, not like a, you know what I mean? Like,
I feel like what he's giving me, I'm giving away, but I feel like maybe I'm not receiving it for
yourself. Yeah. Yeah. That definitely makes sense. So have you done the practices that I've talked
about in the, in this program? Have you talked to, have you been doing those? I mean, I know
that I did them like after each video. Yeah. I'm sure if I, I'm not sure if I've like done them
since. Yeah. So the thing is that all of those are things that I do. Like when I need what you're
talking about, when I need to receive something from the Lord and I need to stop focusing on
my value, I need to stop putting my value in what I can give others and be for others and help
others in and make sure they see about themselves in the Lord and make sure they feel about themselves
in the Lord. But when I need to receive it, I do the things that I've, that I've, I do those
practices, you know, that I outlined to y'all, because those are all about teaching us to receive
instead of allowing ourselves to escape God, instead of allowing ourselves to like, you know,
skirt around him and, and try to avoid him. It's we, we choose when we do this with those practices,
we choose to face them and to face the thing that we fear, you know, because we're afraid,
what is, what is God going to be like when he's with me? You know, how bad am I? Because we've
all been told that God, that, that our interaction with God is based on how good or bad we are in the
moment, you know, so are we going to get a really nice God or are we going to get a really mean God?
Well, that all depends on you. What are you like right now? And so if we're always afraid of us,
if we're always afraid, and I've been just taught and like beaten down that, Hey, you know,
you're simple above all things. And you're whatever, well, then, but then we're always
going to be afraid of like being with God. So what we have to do is we have to say, well,
if God says he's different than I'm going to intentionally risk putting myself with him to get
addicted to see what experience God wants to give me of himself, instead of being afraid of what
it's going to be like, and then keeping trying to avoid it. So it forces it.
but the things that I've talked about are ones that are ones that are especially safe.
The ones that I've talked about in the breakthrough program, the ones that are
especially safe. In other words, there are things where there's no agenda attached to them. It's
just, Hey, there's no judgment. You go and sit with the Lord without an agenda and you just be
in his presence. And while you are believing, this is one of the practices, you know, while
you are choosing that he is who he says that he is, and that you are who he says that you are.
And you just be in that moment in that reality, that that is actually true in the reality of that
moment. He's everything he says he is. And I'm everything he says that I am without any,
any, we don't allow any thoughts or any, any like, um, wanderings about, yeah, but what about,
yeah, but we completely disregard those. We don't allow those to come into the moment.
And we just completely make a choice with no doubt and no questioning and no, um, there's
another word that I'm looking for, but no doubt and no questioning that what God says is true,
really is true about himself and us. And then we sit there in that and it is wild, what we will
learn and how that will heal us just those moments. Then there's also when you feel very,
very negative, you feel mad, you feel afraid, you feel whatever, and allow yourself in the moment
to feel the fullness of that feeling, and then go and sit with God, like literally,
it's like kind of like sitting in the middle of him sitting in the middle of his presence,
like imagine if his throne room was filled with like the glory of God, or afraid of going into
the into that place. And then you in the purposely and intentionally while you're in the middle of
battling this sin. And by battling it, I don't mean you're like fighting it. It's just like,
you're feeling all this stuff. You're feeling you know, the fear and the anger and the whatever else
the jealousy, envy, all these things he says that we're not supposed to do hatred towards someone
else hatred towards yourself, whatever. And you fully allow yourself to feel all of that and then
go and be with God and then see the experience that you get from God. And you'll discover that
it's not correction. It's not that God wants us to stay like that. But God knows that we're coming
to him to experience Do you accept me for who I am, while I'm making these decisions? Because it's
not the fact that we're making these decisions or not making these decisions that makes them love us.
It's who it is that we are. But we just happen to be making these decisions. But it's who it is that
we are that he loves and that he fully accepts. And then we'll discover that when you go and you
feel all of those feelings while you're with him, you know, whatever feelings that you're feeling,
you feel it to the fullest extent. If you feel them while you're with him, you'll discover that
just his presence fills the need that that other feeling had been trying to fill for you and his
presence fills in that need, and you no longer need the other. So your anger will lessen your
fear will lessen whatever because he is now feeling that place in you that this other was
trying to meet. And so you no longer need that, then you'll discover that what I've been telling
y'all about your soul and your body that your soul and your body will naturally drop things.
If you fully and lovingly accept yourself, you'll discover that it's true because you've experienced
that that's how God interacts with you. So then you'll realize more because you've had that
experience. Oh, well, it must be true. And my body and my soul respond to me and just drop their
stuff when I'm a safe place for them. Just like I dropped all my stuff when God was a safe place
for me. So anyway, I just said a lot. So what are your thoughts? Yeah. Yeah. No, I think I know that
the one the one thing that I do a lot is a lot of times before, like if I would be struggling
emotionally or like in panic mode, I used to always think like I needed to pray and like
figure this out and like have the come away from it fixed. And I remember now every time that that
comes up. Instead, I look to the Lord as like, he's he somebody to be with. Like, I would more
come to him and tell him like, I need care like I need you to be here with me and like
and yes, that's usually that's what happens is I end up that care from the Lord is what ends up
that's what I need. It doesn't mean like I'm doesn't mean that I come away fixed. It's more
just like, yeah, does that make sense? So I feel like that's that's what I have been doing. Yeah.
And that's been working really well. Were you saying that there's something different that
you're needing that that isn't meeting or providing or
whatever. So are you saying there's something different or are you just
reminding yourself? Oh yeah, that's right. That works. I forgot.
I hadn't been doing that. Yeah. Which are you talking about?
Yeah, I think it, it does help for the most part. I think, yeah,
I keep coming back to that block of,
it works for me,
but then I'm not sure what to do for myself when it comes to parenting.
And maybe it's the same thing. Like, but at the same time, I,
I just feel like for today, I mean,
I think it was like noon by the time we got school started and it was like
herding cats. Like as soon as I got one to the desk,
the other one needed help. And then when I walked away from that one,
then they ran off and it was, yeah. Yeah, I know.
How uncle mom life.
And I'm just like, maybe, maybe the problem and this, okay. So this,
I can, maybe this would be a good example lately.
Every time that we come up with this frustration with Monty,
which is like moment moment Lee, secondly,
I was just like, I'm sending you this boy to school. Like,
that's the only thing that's going to work,
but is that flush or is that like me accepting the fact that I can't do
this?
You know, I don't mean like part of me. Okay.
So the reason I have a block with sending him to school is because I have a
friend who has no relationship with her oldest son. And she is like,
well, I think she started homeschooling them. And she's like, well,
they go to school now because that's the only way that we can like each other.
And I'm like, that's not what I want. But at the same time, I'm,
I'm kind of like, well, maybe she had a point.
I'm like, not that I don't like him. It's almost more like,
I feel like he has a capacity greater than what I'm able to give him.
But is that not that that's probably not spirit. I don't know.
Like I should be all things to all people. Right. But I'm like,
I just don't know. Yeah. That's what I'm struggling with.
Yeah. Well, no, all of that makes sense. And, um,
but you can't know whether it's flush or
it's spirit when you're down in your flesh. Yeah.
So if you let it go, like let go in by part of it.
Okay. This connects with something else I wanted to mention and point out,
cause you're like, Oh, it's so hard to like deal with them and interact with
them. But you're like, Hey, I've noticed. It's great. When, um,
that I have that everything is very effortless and I feel very safe.
And, um, when I'm, when I'm counseling other people,
but not my son.
So it's because you're handling your son different than your you're approaching
your son differently than you're approaching them.
Then you kind of let go of the agenda a bit. You're like, well, you know,
it's all okay. So with your son, it's, Oh my goodness.
It's got to work and he can't be like this and he's got to change.
And so there's this agenda there.
And so therefore it affects how you think of yourself
based off of how he behaves and, you know,
and then that's just going to like turn into some like a snowball effect of
like, well, the worst, the worst he behaves,
the worst that you feel about yourself and where you feel about yourself,
the more controlling or the more upset or whatever.
And then what that does is that blinds your ability to see,
to be able to provide him what he needs and to be able to see what's really
going on. And then to see, so is this, what is the Lord directing me to do?
Am I supposed to keep what, keep doing it with him or am I not, you know?
And so the more that you let go of like, okay,
remember we've talked about this before with with Monty about
you, you,
you choosing that he is who God says that he
is and seeing him like that.
And when you change internally,
how you see him and who you honestly believe him to be spiritually,
that affects him. And he starts in that person starts coming out.
And and so, and you said that as soon as you did it,
you noticed a huge difference.
But what we struggle with is the same thing that I was talking to someone
about a couple of days ago. And they said, well, actually, they said,
I've been doing your rest stuff and, and I've been now going,
and it was great for a while. And I was totally changed.
And my family noticed that I was completely changed.
And then I started going through this time, you know,
lately where it feels like I'm doing all of this stuff that I used to do,
but it's no longer working. That's the word that she is.
She said, it's no longer working. And I was like, well, I said,
the thing is that you have to choose God.
and not rest that you want to, you know, you have to choose God, not his benefits.
So you can't be pursuing rest. I said, but the other thing,
you know, is, is just the fact that, um, it needs to be, um, that, that you really do have to apply
the same simple principles that you did here. They have to be applied here.
You really do have to see and choose that God is who he says he is, and that you are that person
and continue to choose that you are that even over here, you know, and now to deeper levels
and to different scenarios and whatever. So, um, anyway, when you start seeing him like that,
then he'll start to, he'll start to change, et cetera. And also you'll then know better what
to give him because you're shifted into your spirit. You're like you to, so in other words,
what Monty needs that will affect him and influence him the most is his mom being at rest
and his mom knowing who she is in the Lord. And then being that spirit when she's with him
and giving him that, that spirit person of her. And then that will draw that spirit person of him
so that he can see it and start interacting with that. But when it's flesh against flesh,
that that's a battle. So in order to make it no longer a battle, you have to rise above
the flesh and it's, um, anyway, does that make sense at all? I mean, it's hard, but no way it,
and it feels like it won't work. It feels like, well, wait a minute. Isn't that like letting,
letting go of, uh, fixing the problem. So once I let go, all hell is going to break loose.
That's what we think. And that's why we don't, don't do it, but it's the opposite that happens
when we stop trying to control the, um, the behavior and the, you know, and we stop internally
locking down, um, and getting upset and getting stressed and, you know, where it'll manifest in
the sentence of like shaking or, you know, or anger or whatever. And when we start letting go
of all of that and we release them more to the Lord, we can more clearly see this is how they
need to be parented. This is what they need to hear from you right now. This is what's going
to work this, whatever. But when we lock down, we can't hear that. We, we kind of like locked down
and shut ourselves off from wisdom and knowledge and understanding, and we can't get it. So all
that we have left to rely on is our, is our own mind or our past experience, what psychologists
we've talked to, what did our parents do when we did this type of thing, you know, or whatever.
Um, and, uh, so it'll feel like it won't work, which is why we don't do it. We're afraid of
letting go. We're afraid that we're going to lose whatever progress that we've made,
but really remember what we've talked about with your business is it's the same thing,
whatever we, you, however you start the thing is how, and however you create a result is how you
have to maintain it. So if you created it with a lot of soulish, okay, we're going to do all of
this. Okay. That seemed to be working with Monty. Oh my word. Now it's no longer working. Okay. So
let's, you know, it's clamped down harder, or you realize we have to keep doing that in order for it
to keep getting that result. And it's just a lot of work. So anyway, um, what are your thoughts?
Yeah, I think, um, I think,
I think I still, I still struggle with knowing, like,
all I can do is laugh because honestly, it's just so horrible right now. Um, sorry.
I think I'm just, I, I just in the moment, it's like a blackout and I'm just, and I do, I, what
you said earlier about like the way I know that I'm different with him than I am with, you know,
people that I minister to. Um, I think in the moment, like my biggest thing is like, okay,
well, if he decides that he's not going to do school, do I just let him not do school?
I'm not sure, but then I'm like, yeah, go ahead. That's what I'm wondering. Like,
how, how do I still uphold like expectations and how do I get him to comply? Like,
yeah, I think I'm just not sure. Cause it usually ends up that I'm like, he's like,
no, I'm not doing that. Like, he'll just say it like, no, I'm not doing that. And then I'm like,
I just freeze because I'm like, okay, well, he just said, he's not going to do it.
Well, normally like my other resort would have been to like, okay, well then we have to spank
you. You know? And I'm at the point where I'm like, that does not help. It doesn't help at all.
And Arnold and I don't quite see eye to eye on all of these things. And I don't even know what
I think on all of these things yet. Yeah.
But I'm like, I told Arnold this morning, I'm like,
unless that child decides in his heart that he wants to do something,
he can do the thing and he's still not doing it.
Like, it's not, obedience doesn't even matter, you know what I mean?
Because, yeah, he's not doing it.
And so I'm, at this point, that's what I'm not sure of.
It's like, what do I do when he just is like, I'm not doing that thing.
Do I, and I have been like, okay, well then,
we're going to, you know, have to give you a consequence.
One of your privileges can be taken away.
But by the end of the day, it's like, I mean,
he has no life left to live because all his privileges are removed.
And I mean, honestly, sometimes I'm like,
does every parent feel this way, like with their first child?
I've heard that the first child is always very difficult.
And I think it's largely because that's your first child.
But yeah.
No, not all children are that challenging.
And I know that because I have a niece who's very, very challenging.
And that, and we've, and we were all the same way.
We're all kind of like, well, this is the first.
Are we just not paying attention and they're all like this?
And then the others started coming after and we're like, no.
Yeah, like my other kids are totally different.
Yeah. So it might be,
he might be what they refer to as a very strong willed child.
So here's the thing.
So those people, you know, there's different ways that you can like,
like handle that, you know, behavior and all of that.
And I'm afraid and unfortunately, you know, I'm not an expert on any of that.
I don't even have children of my own.
I've had to figure out how to manage my own my niece though,
and who's very strong willed and I've been able to get headway with her,
which has been, which has been, which has been great and very helpful.
But it was when I treated her and it's treated her,
like she was good and kind and wonderful and all of this stuff.
Like I had to see her like that.
And when I did, she began to change how she interacted,
because I changed how I talked to her too.
When I did, because I saw her different.
When I saw her different,
I just automatically without trying,
started changing how I would interact with her and talk to her.
And then I could see more easily in a moment,
what she needed and how she needed to be talked to,
because I was no longer threatened by her behavior.
But if I thought that she was how she, that she,
that our identity was how she was behaving, I felt threatened by it.
But when I no longer became, was no longer threatened,
personally threatened by her and how, you know, and who are sorry to be,
you know,
I was no longer threatened by her behavior.
And then everything went much smoother.
I was able to then interact with her.
And.
More wisely because in the moment I could see the word would show me
what was going on and what she needed, et cetera.
So the thing is that right now.
He's he's in control.
And he's, and he can control you.
He doesn't feel controlled by you.
He feels in control, so to speak.
Because all he has to do is say, no, I can't imagine.
You know, you know, ever telling.
No, none of us.
Like.
But at the same time, all of us got,
we don't want to raise our children quite in the same way that we were
raised.
And, and because we felt, we see the results of all of that, right.
And we realized how it affected us long-term is, you know,
into adulthood of like feeling like we're not in control of our lives and
that someone else is always in control.
And, and then feeling bad about the Lord, you know,
You know,
that he's like that with us, et cetera.
And we don't want that for our children.
So now we're all having to discover, okay,
well, how do you discipline and give them what it is that they need?
While not, you know, controlling.
And one of the really big things is to not is,
is to free yourself.
So this is how I talk to women who feel,
who are abused in their marriages.
They I've had multiple, I don't know why,
but I've had multiple people, multiple wives come to me.
You know, who feel abused in their marriages,
feel very controlled and they asked me what to do.
And I said, well, first of all, you need to free yourself.
And by that, I always explain it.
I don't mean you need to leave him.
That's between you and the Lord,
because most all of these women are being emotionally and verbally abused.
It's not physical.
And so I said, you know,
it's between you and the Lord about what you want to do.
But I do know that,
that internally you need to free yourself and understand that you aren't
owned.
God owns you.
You're not owned by this other person and you have to own yourself.
You have to claim yourself.
And I can tell you by personal experience and other in other
relationships I've had in my life,
that that is the only way to do it.
So you have to free yourself.
And then you're not as intimidated by or threatened by somebody else's
behavior.
Then you can more clearly see what's going on.
And, and, and, and your,
and your spirit isn't being.
I'm not stifled, but like, shut off where you can't hear it and you can't hear wisdom
and whatever.
And, but the scary thing is we feel like we're letting go.
We felt like, Oh my goodness, I'll hell break loose unless I do it like this, but it's shifting
from one kingdom and how the kingdom of the world will deal with that child versus the
kingdom of God.
We'll deal with that child.
And so it's a, it's a different, it's the source of discipline is from a completely
different place.
So you're still in charge and you're still the parent and you don't.
And then if you, if you choose that, that is who you are and that that's the authority
that God gave you, and then you are responsible for seeing your child as God says that he
actually is, you know, who he's made him to be.
He's made him to be perfect.
He's made him to be strong and he's extremely smart and he's not a problem child.
He's not a demon child.
He's not a, you know, you know, whatever.
He's not all of these labels that people want to put on him.
You know, he's not a problem.
You know, he's your, your child is not an issue.
He's a, he's a person who has, has to figure out who he is and how to interact in the world,
you know, and so he's just figuring it all out in a world of sin in which he's threatened
with fear and you know, and, and, and all of these things.
And so you help him as a parent, navigate through the mess right now, this is the mess
him acting out.
This is the mess.
He's just like, what, which end is up, you know, you're providing a safe and secure place.
And the most safe and secure thing that we can do for other people, child or not our
spouses, our own parents, you know, relationships that we have is to own ourselves and understand
that we are not threatened by or controlled by anyone else.
And then to understand our proper authority structure, especially if you're the parent
that you have that authority and in that, in that, you know, your child can do whatever
he wants without it threatening your identity or whether or not you're being a good parent.
And then you can more clearly see because you're not threatened by how he acts.
Okay, fine.
He's acting out.
Okay.
So now let's, but if you, if you latch emotionally onto how he's acting out, you can't see.
So you have to emotionally, you have to detach and I don't mean that you don't care.
I don't mean that you emotionally detach as if you don't care.
You emotionally let go of an agenda that he needs to be a specific way.
You know, that whole thing of life where we talk about rest and we say that the third
tool in rest is no judgment.
It's like, it's not, it's, it's releasing the fact that it's stopping thinking that
it shouldn't be like this.
It should be different.
No, this is just, this is just what he's doing right now.
It's not who he is.
It's just what he's doing.
It's how he's acting, you know, et cetera.
And I'm in the, excuse me, in the letting that get, and then just allowing that to be.
And then when you don't feel threatened, then you'll more able, be able to more clearly
see him as God says that he is and know what to say, know what to do, know what consequences
to kind of like bring up a, like, okay, how should we deal with this?
Because apparently this child is not worried about spankings.
Apparently spankings are very unmotivating and you know, there might be all kinds of
other things that work with your other kids, but they, they're not, they're not to motivate
it.
They're not motivating to him, you know, to avoid this, like, fine, you can take away
my game boy.
Fine.
You can take away my video games.
Fine.
I won't have to go.
I don't have to go outside because he'd much rather have, you know, he'd have this feeling
of, of control and not doing what he didn't want to do rather than letting all those things
go.
So those things just don't work for him.
And so you have to find the things that, that do work for him.
Like, and I, I can't, I wish I could remember like what they finally figured out worked
for my, and worked for my niece because spankings wouldn't work for her either, but something
did.
I wish it's now.
I wish I remembered what, what did work for her, but anyway, I think timeout didn't work
for her, but something else did cause she, and she couldn't, and they found out she couldn't
stand it because that was where her value was.
And I don't remember what it was.
It was like not being around people or it was something, but anyway, so, but you'll
find that out.
If you, like I said, if you remember those basic things, I know they sound really basic.
I know.
I promise that.
I understand.
It sounds like it won't work, but God says that it works.
You choose that.
He is who he says that he is, that you are who he says you are in that, that Monty is
who he says that he is and start changing how all of that is seen.
And then you will, you will know how to deal with things.
You'll just, you'll just know.
And then of course, there's always things that you can learn from like other parents
and, and whatever, but all of that needs to run through your spirit anyway of like how
to deal with them.
But as far as like behavior things, you know, other people can help with that, but is that
helpful at all?
Yeah.
It does something.
I know it doesn't fix the problem.
Oh, I know. I know. But I, I feel like it does help me the part about remembering that like
he doesn't control me. Cause I think so often that's why I resent. I feel like I resent
because he like every day I wake up and I'm like, wonder what his day is going to be like today.
Right. So basically you need to take you back. Yeah. You Monty doesn't control you. Monty does
not determine your day is he Monty is the same thing as situations that we run into. It's just
like, Oh, this is an environment that we're in, that we felt controlled by. So his behavior and
his choices and his decisions are creating situations that you can feel controlled by.
And so whether he's creating them, you know, because he's, he's trying to struggle through
how to do this whole life thing, or it's like some other issue that you're running into at
church or it's, you know, some issue that you're running into in your business, whatever it is,
all they are are situations that we have to realize we are not the, we are not being
controlled by them. The only way that makes us be controlled by them is if we let it is,
if we let our lives and our decisions and how we feel about ourselves and how we interact with
someone else, if we're feeling that that is determined by what is happening. In other words,
our whole life is simply response is simply reaction. And instead we need to switch to
choosing to choosing to create our life, choosing to determine our life, choosing to go at it from
an offensive, you know, perspective. So anyway, I know that that might sound little and you're
probably thinking, yeah, but I don't understand how, yeah, but actually I've got these very
specific situations and I don't know how to affect these, but I promise you, I promise you
before God, it, these things, these really simple things will completely change everything.
Um, at the very, at the fundamental level, the other stuff, quite honestly, that like
adjusting behavior and whatever, that's honestly just fixing symptoms. It's not fixing the root
cause. So, so what I'm talking about is like the long-term, um, root foundation and making
that healthy, but I'll let y'all go. Is that helpful? Yeah, it is. Okay. All right. You're
welcome. Okay. Good to see y'all. I will see y'all Monday and I'm going to have to get back to y'all
on that because I have a doctor's appointment for this call and that was the appointment she gave
me was around the time that we're supposed to meet. So I'm going to see if I can call and adjust
that. So anyway, but I'll see y'all on Monday probably. You're welcome. Thank you. Bye.