Thank you.
Hey.
Hi.
How are you.
All right.
It's been a long time.
I know.
I'm trying to get my.
Yeah, I'm trying to get these to pair.
Because I couldn't find my AirPods.
Yeah.
You see, my husband brought me his.
I don't know why it's not pairing.
Really?
You maybe need to turn it on and off.
Got it.
I got it, sweetie.
Thank you.
And then,
because we want to make sure that they're charged for your call.
All right.
So I'm good.
Sorry about that.
I don't know where my earplugs are.
So I'm going to have to go on a.
On a hunt for him after we get off the call.
Okay.
So I didn't want to use my husband's because he has a work call.
In an hour.
A little over an hour.
And.
And so I was concerned that I would drain the batteries.
Oh, well, he needs to make sure he has them for his work.
Oh, how are you?
It's been a while.
It's been several.
I think.
Okay.
That sounds about right.
Cause I thought it was sometime earlier this year.
So was I, was I in the new place?
Had I already moved or was I still.
Over there. Do you remember?
I remember.
There were some videos.
For you were probably at your parents' house or someone else.
Okay. Okay. All right. Yeah.
I don't even remember if it was a new house, probably not.
Yeah.
All right. Yeah.
So this is the apartment that we've been in since.
The end of February.
Oh,
which is the apartment that I started the rest intensive in three years
ago.
Oh, three and a half years ago.
Anyway, we're just really fun.
Yeah.
Which is fun.
So catch me up. What's been going on.
I'm so excited to see you today.
Yes, you too.
So.
April may.
Was.
What's really.
Really, there were a lot of good things happening and.
I was.
Handling things at work. I felt like things were shifting.
I was being.
I was.
Walking into a lot more prophetic singing with the worship.
Having.
Another song concert.
You did great.
With a band and some singers and.
And then.
Then in April, something really hard happened.
And what happened is that.
I was.
Harassment at work.
By my students, by my pupils.
And.
It was.
I think it was in several levels. I think it was emotional attack.
Almost.
Physical or at least trying to.
And it was also spiritual.
I think it was many levels of attack and.
I.
And it.
That was in April. I think it was around Easter.
And.
It kind of came.
It felt like so many things were going well.
And then.
But in another way, it had been building.
And.
The, and I've, I've been teaching for eight years.
I'm a teacher in high school in junior high.
I've taught in primary school.
And I never ever had anything like this happen to me.
Possible that it could happen.
But I never knew that it could happen to me.
And I think it brought quite a bit of...
And what happened is that I was able to pass through a lot of it and rest.
It was like incredible how I felt like going through it and just getting out of my spirit
and how I handled it with the pupils and with the leaders and the principal and everyone
involved.
And I just felt led by the spirit so much, even though it was hard and I was in shock
of what happened.
And the teachers took it very seriously.
I had a lot of support.
Support.
Good.
And the people responsible were, for some part at least, held accountable.
It actually wasn't quite touching and ended up with me kind of addressing it to the whole
class and crying and just putting the responsibility back at them and sharing my side of it.
And several of the students and also the teacher said that she was really moved.
And so I felt just like...
That's great.
Yeah.
So that happened in April.
And then...
That's huge.
So it was like a mix of shock and also I felt in a way that I was...
And I dealt with it on an emotional level, spiritual level.
And after that, what happened was that there was a lot of amazing and stressful things
happening.
It was preparations to go to China out of the blue.
Like there were so many amazing things happen.
And then out of the blue came a chance to go to China.
That's great.
Came out of nowhere.
And I've been dreaming about this.
But there was a lot of work to get there.
Like hard online application, language tests online, visa application.
It was like a lot of work.
That was extremely draining for all of us.
We were 15.
And I think we started with 30 people.
And 15 couldn't handle it.
They dropped off during...
They were like, this is too crazy.
China is crazy.
So...
Yeah.
Wow.
That put a lot of strain on me.
But I felt also that I was moving through it in rest and handled it for the most part
really well.
And the China tour was just incredible.
It was amazing.
That's great.
Yeah.
I'd love to see your post.
Yeah.
It seemed like an amazing opportunity and a trip of a lifetime.
It was amazing.
It was like God did so many things.
I connected with so many people, opportunities.
I met people that I never thought I'd meet.
And just appointments that were very meaningful for me and other people.
And the whole trip, I felt like I was led by the Spirit in so many ways.
So...
From March until the summer, through the summer, there were really challenging things
going on.
And I was quite tired.
But I felt like I was living in rest and that things were very different.
And then August came, now fall came.
And I'm studying.
I stepped down.
I'm not working as much anymore.
Because I felt like I was supposed to study and finish something in my teaching degree
that I don't have.
So that means that I'm a student and working at the same time.
So I knew that that could be potentially fairly busy.
And after two weeks, I just started to struggle so much.
Just after two weeks.
And then after a while, a week or two, I asked God what's going on.
And then he showed me that you didn't feel like I protected you
when you were harassed by the pupils.
And I was like, oh my gosh.
Because I felt like I dealt with it.
Walked through it in rest.
Blah, blah, blah.
Addressed the students.
Talked to the leaders.
Blah, blah, blah.
And then I was like, oh my gosh, so there's this wound there.
I didn't feel you protected me.
I spent quite a bit of time with God.
Just him walking me through it.
asking him where were you and he answered me and like felt like he was and I realized like
that I actually since then had been feeling because coming back in August I felt a lot of
fear being with the pupils I'm really scared of them because my whole body reacted to what
happened in April correct so then I realized oh I didn't feel like he protected me oh that he
wasn't there like why did this happen to me so I spent quite a bit of time with that
but then ever since that things have just been increasingly difficult like I think like I just
fell out of rest somehow and the last two months has been extremely hard not just even up and down
just a lot of like anxiety and heaviness even like close to depression I feel like and and a
lot of and some of it is like when you're I'm studying online so it's a lot of time by yourself
studying so it's like loneliness I'm less with colleagues at work and social with students and
colleagues and and I was talking to my sister and I'm like how's your perspective of this what do
you see because she's known me my whole life and she said like I'm starting to really worry about
you what's going on and she said I felt like you're really your life really changed you know
from the things that God started to speak to me about living in the spirit
then a few things happened then I met you started rest intensive and she's like
that was such a big difference watching you like she's like it was like day and night your life
she's like it's so amazing and to see your life change like that and now she's now I'm like for
the first time in I don't know over half a year I'm worried about you and you're like you just
lost your joy and you're more worried I can see that you're more and so she's like I know you're
not sleeping at night you're not you're not sleeping well you are out of routines and you
just seem like more heavy and stuff and she's like maybe you should she's like what will you
I don't know what and then I think I feel stuck because I felt like God led me to this
study and it's going to go on for two years so it's not over in a few months yeah yeah the study
that I felt led to and also I'm working so little that if I'm starting to work a little less I can't
provide for myself like I'm always because I'm studying I'm cutting yeah work yeah then it would
be like a heavy financial issue so it's not like I can quit work and then I can go on a sick leave
but I don't want to do that either that doesn't feel like the solution so I think I just feel
stuck and another part of it is also I think like and I through this I've listened
quite a bit to your teaching Chris Blackaby other things and it's like now just being honest about
everything yeah like it feels like it's not working or and I don't know like or I can't
work anymore and then I'm thinking well why do I need to do work because that's like work again and
that's what I want to get out but then also I think I feel like a bit also and like I felt like
I was I was really vocal about what happened to me and I kind of feel like I don't know ashamed
this thing didn't work either or like you know like all kinds of like and what am I doing oh now
I got it okay you mean ashamed because you were vocal about what you've been learning about the
lord and shifting in that relationship but then when you went through something difficult it
it didn't hold up is that what you're saying that you feel so then I'm like oh I told everybody
I've been vocal on Facebook there's like 300 people that saw my my um my reels or my videos
uh I've talked to several people what God has done in my life and now I'm here again on my knees and
yeah like and you kind of like why would I vocal about it or is it working or I've tried so many
things you know you get all these yeah and I also can tell that I'm working a lot out of the I think
the tree of knowledge of good and evil uh-huh just just and that's why I end a lot of in shame
and condemnation and rules like yeah and
And, but in another, but I can also tell, like, I can say that I can tell that at
times I still walk in rest and I'm like, I can see that in some areas I'm like,
Oh, I used to act like this, but now I, I can handle it in a better way.
So it's not like totally black.
I can totally see that sometimes.
Like I had a very difficult class on Monday and I definitely would have been
triggered earlier.
And this Monday I felt like I passed through it and rest.
So, and there was a friend of mine that I feel really responsible for.
And she was sharing something that I got me a bit worried.
And before that would trigger me to be like, Oh, I need to help her protect her.
And now I was like, it's her responsibility.
I can pray for her.
That's her issue.
So I don't think I need to put it on me, but there are things like that, that I can
tell, Oh, I'm not triggered anymore.
Oh, I passed through that and rest.
So, but I still, a majority of the time feel a lot of shame and condemnation and a
lot of like loneliness out of place and nothing's working.
And I don't know what to do.
I feel stuck.
I feel like God led me to these things.
I'm not getting out.
Yeah.
I'm just like kind of hopeless.
Like, I don't know what to do.
Just lost my joy.
I think you froze.
Oh, it might be my internet.
Oh, there you are.
Okay.
Just like a lot of like, yeah.
Yeah.
So.
So I'm thinking about some things, but I need to get a pen and paper to draw it.
So just one moment.
Okay.
So I can tell you this, but it's like, I kind of got a visual and, and I thought,
well, I think if I like draw it, it'll just kind of like help solidify your
fight in your minds, maybe even more.
Come on, please.
Darn.
Find another, get another pen.
That one was empty.
Here it is.
Okay.
Sorry about that.
Okay.
I finally found all my, okay.
So this pencil should work.
I don't know why I like pencils, but I do.
Okay.
So, um, you're probably going to think, oh, why did you even need to draw that?
But it's like, I figured that not only would it help you, but it would help
other people as well, if I kind of like describe, you know, our focus.
Um,
okay.
What's the deeper level than that even.
Let's go to the.
Okay.
So I'm showing like, uh, the different like levels of focus, um,
okay.
Okay, let's see here.
Okay.
Okie doke.
I'll probably figure out a better way to kind of like.
Show this at some point, but for now, here we go.
All right. So what we have a tendency to do.
You know,
we have a tendency to focus at first on like wanting a comfortable
life.
Like so many of us want a comfortable life. And then we realize,
well, you know,
You know,
a higher level of that is to actually want a successful life.
You know, I want to, I don't just want to be comfortable.
I want to be successful. I want to like build something.
I want it to go somewhere. I want to whatever.
Then other than we think, oh, well,
I want to be successful. I want to be successful.
I want to be successful.
We tend to focus on living a good Christian life.
No goodness, righteousness, all of that.
But really what we need to be focusing on.
Is the development of our relationship with the Lord.
Not that life is working out a specific way.
So what happens is if we're focusing on our life,
What we're focusing on is our relationship with God.
And that's not just.
That's just.
This.
There's even a higher level. If we want to go up there.
Focus.
Is on God himself, who he is and who he says that we are. Right.
So the thing is that if we focus on.
On these things.
You know, CK first, the kingdom of God and his righteousness.
And all these things will be added unto you.
So if we focus up here,
If we focus on this, all we get is this.
When we focus on this, all we get is this and maybe this.
When we focus on this, all we get is this and maybe these.
You know, so it's that in the level down, but we, but we can't.
If we're focusing on any of these,
these things will not hop in automatically.
But if we focus on these things, if we focus on this,
All of these things can happen.
Yeah.
I think that that's why it gets frustrating.
When we.
Oh, I don't know.
It's doing here.
And when we're, we're thinking, well,
Here's, here's what made me think of it is when you were talking about,
well, I think I've been living in rest and I noticed I've been trying
to figure out what's going on here.
And I'm like, well,
I don't seem to be living in rest in these particular areas.
So it's manifesting here.
But it's not manifesting here.
And the way that, and so we can get, we can feel stuck.
We can feel frustrated. We can be feeling. Why is it not working anymore?
It used to work.
It's no longer working. Well, what are we using as a.
It's kind of like a.
We look at, am I getting this or am I getting this or am I getting this?
Well, then it means it's working.
Right.
Is what we're thinking, but instead.
And so if we do that.
We can start.
We can start to get more and more stuck.
So the way to get unstuck.
Is to act.
You know, just let go of all of.
Go of let go of trying to.
Certain things.
Like certain things in life happening a certain way,
or you feeling a certain way.
Or you like getting out of where it is that you are.
Like I no longer want to feel.
Chaotic. I know we'll longer want to feel in unrest.
I no longer whatever those are all like all of these manifestations.
We want to stop focusing.
Not.
On whatever's happening, not happening anymore.
Like we want it to not happen. We want to not feel this way.
We want to not be in these circumstances. We want to not.
React the way that we've been reacting, et cetera.
If we want.
Sorry, I lost my, my.
My where I was going with my grammar.
I don't want to feel this way anymore.
So.
Stop focusing on all of those things. Just let them go.
Let go of like.
Just allow yourself to feel that way and stop fighting the fact that you're not that you're not feeling how you want to that
You're not feeling in rest. Let all of that go and
Choose God
Over how you're feeling how things are going, you know, etc. And that'll get you unstuck
So basically, I know this is going to sound a little weird
But what what's happening is when we get when we don't like how things are going we tend to fight it
we tend to
Lock down it. We tend to move into battle and
That is creating further stuckness. So in order to move through it faster, we have to let go
We have to like, okay
just relax in the fat and and
Move into neutral instead of fighting it. Like I don't want to be like this
Surely this is wrong. I'm in unrest. I don't like this instead of fighting it
Just allow it to be and then you'll move through it and you'll shift into rest
So rest is always having basically being in neutral and letting your hands just kind of be open
You know in that open river remember how when we were talking about the the river
Of
Where the river is the spirit and
We want to leave our hands open and put it down into the water of the river of the spirit
And then we get to experience more of it
But if ever we decide oh, I like how life is right now, or I like how me and God are right now
I really like this
Experience that the spirit is giving me whether it's giving us that experience in the spirit in our emotions in our thoughts in our physical
Our physical circumstances, whatever it is. Oh, I really like this
Experience wherever it is. You're having the experience in your spirit your soul your body. I really like it
I want to keep it
We keep trying to like grab a hold of that that moment that instance that particular situation
Then you know how the Lord is operating in our life right now, and we want it to stay like that
But the thing is you can't hold on to the spirit like that
The more that you try to do it the more that you lose it
Does that make sense?
So the more that you try to grab a hold of the water the water is just going to run out of your hands because you
You can't hold it
you can't so in order to
Experience more of this spirit and expand continue to experience spirit at all
You have to leave your hands open and you have to not fight it
So the way that you if you're feeling an unrest in your life
The way to more quickly move into rest is by allowing yourself to be in that state of unrest
And here's what I mean by allow I don't mean that you're approving of it that you're liking it that you're agreeing with it
I don't mean any of that. I mean that you stop fighting it
You stop thinking I shouldn't be here. I need to get out of it. No just realize okay
That's that's where I am. So instead how do you get back into how do you get back into rest?
You choose God over your circumstances you choose God over how you feel you choose God over how you're
Responding and then when you choose God
How you respond will change when you choose God?
He'll begin to move in your circumstances and that's how you shift into rest because rest is letting go
Of what's happening and choosing God instead and allowing God to affect
How you feel letting God affecting the circumstances, you know, etc. So basically what happens is we get really
the fastest way to move through
through
Feeling stuck is to stop fighting
Where you are to stop fighting how you're feeling to stop fighting yourself and seeing yourself as the enemy because of how you're responding
In a particular way. Oh, I shouldn't be feeling this way. This is not how I'm supposed to respond
Come on, let's get with this. That's that's treating yourself like an enemy. That's
Battling it that's fighting it and God wants you to let it go so that he can so the spirit
Can can move through you and change things?
But it can't do that if we're locked down on it because we're fighting it. That's that's creating stuckness
I know it sounds very very strange because that we've always felt that no if I battle something I can move it
But that's all that's if we're choosing to address something in unrest
if we're choosing to
Address it in the way that the world does but if we want to do it according to the kingdom of God
we have to stop battling it and
to just and to
and to like move into neutral
So anyway, I know that I've said a lot there, but let me know how you're hearing what I'm saying. So I know
how I need to like reword things to help you understand.
So what are your thoughts so far?
I think I understood quite a bit of that.
Okay.
You're saying that to me,
it sounds like rest has become a thing,
like almost like a method.
And then- Yeah.
Yeah, and it's like, and I want it to stay like that
because I really- Yeah.
How do I get this tool to work for me?
How do I get this to create something?
Yeah.
I like that my life has been changing more into rest.
And then now I kind of got the way to do it,
the principles that God, the relationship.
Of course I have a relationship with God,
but it's kind of become like a little bit of a formula
or the how to get rest formula.
And then you're holding onto it and try to go back to-
Yeah, so rest is, we can start,
remember rest is the benefit
of our relationship with the Lord.
So we can start to want the benefit more than we want God.
And our focus can be on always being in rest
instead of always believing God, having faith in God,
knowing God, developing that relationship with God.
And that relationship with God is basically intimacy.
It's communion, it's interaction, it's that unity.
That needs to be the focus.
What will then happen is rest,
as opposed to us then,
as opposed to us focusing our life on
how do I always stay in rest?
You'll stay in rest if you always focus on the Lord
and you choose him and whatever, because what is rest?
Rest means that we're no longer trying
to do things for ourselves.
And instead we're allowing God to do it.
We're allowing God to create the outcomes, et cetera.
Well, the only way to do that is to believe God,
is to choose God.
Then it's just like, hey, yeah,
you're putting your focus on me, you're choosing me,
and I will do these things for you
because if you're not focused on these,
I will focus on them for you while you're focusing on me.
But if you're focusing on these things,
then I'm gonna back off because I gave you the authority
to take care of these things
and to choose how these things are taken care of.
And if you're choosing to take care of them,
then I gave you that authority to make that decision
because I gave you that kingdom.
So that kingdom is quote unquote, it's yours, not mine.
Now, technically it's still within God's kingdom.
Like anything that he gave to us,
it still belongs to him ultimately,
but he gave it to us to basically like steward
and have dominion over, right?
And that means that if we're choosing
that to handle it in a particular way
and we're choosing to control it,
we're choosing to whatever,
it's like we're choosing to provide for ourselves.
We're choosing to protect ourselves, et cetera.
He's gonna be like, okay, I'm backing off then
because in order for me to, you know, God,
in order for me to take care of this for you,
you have to give me the authority to do that.
And by you choosing to do it for yourself,
you're not giving me the authority
and you're not giving me the permission to do it for you.
So the only way that I have permission to do it
is if you stop doing it and you give permission to me
to do it for you.
So that means that we have to let this go.
And the only way that we can give permission to God
to do this is by choosing,
is by submitting ourselves to him.
God, I'm out of control,
meaning like I'm choosing to not take control.
I'm choosing to give it to you.
That means, Lord, I don't get to choose
how you decide to deal with it,
how you decide that it should happen,
how you decide, you know, that everything should manifest
and what the outcomes are gonna be,
what the outcomes are gonna be to me emotionally,
what the outcomes are gonna be in the situation,
like how it's gonna affect other people,
how it's gonna affect creation.
God, I'm no longer in control.
I gave all of that up to you.
And the only way that we can give it up to him
is if we not only stop doing it ourselves,
meaning like even emotionally and spiritually,
we stop manipulating it,
we stop emotionally hanging onto it,
we let it all go,
and we focus on and choose God instead.
If we let go of this, but we don't choose God,
then this doesn't get taken care of, not even by God,
because we still haven't given him permission.
We just chose to not take charge of it ourselves.
So we're basically leaving our kingdom up for grabs
to anybody who wants to grab it,
and then we're gonna be controlled by it.
other people or Satan or whatever, but in order for God to do this, we have to intentionally
always focus on choosing God, meaning like, okay, who does God say that he is?
I am going to declare that he is that in my kingdom.
If God says that he's good, me giving him charge over this means that I am telling my
kingdom, hey, by the way, God is good and he's good to you right now.
I'm giving him permission to come in and be his goodness to you, but I don't know what
that's going to make.
I don't know what that's going to cause to happen to my kingdom when God is good and
I choose that he can be who he is in my kingdom, in my life, in my emotions, in my situation.
I don't know what his goodness is going to create.
I don't know if I'm going to like it or not.
I didn't know if that's going to be in my, how I would choose for everything to happen.
You're giving up that control, but you're choosing that he is who he is and that he's
going to be that in this situation or in your emotions or in whatever.
So think of it like this.
Remember that when you're choosing to give God, when you're choosing to submit yourself
to him and to his character, you were choosing that he is who he says that he is.
So like, say, let's pick something specific that you're choosing that God is good because
he said that he's good.
So you choose, okay, I'm choosing that in real, that the reality in which I live is
that he is good and that he's good to me.
He's good to me now, not tomorrow.
I don't have to wait for it.
He is good.
He is good to me, not only to everybody else, but he's good to me.
So he is who he is to me right now.
I don't have to wait for it.
He is who he is to me right now.
And then you pick something specific like that you're struggling in.
Like he is good to me right now in my body, like in my health, or he's good to me right
now in my emotions, or he is good to me right now in my finances or, you know, whatever
it is you're struggling with that right there is faith.
It's not even just because it, and it's like, how do I put it?
It's not acting on faith necessarily, but it's, it's like fully fleshing out what it
is that you're having, that God wants us to have faith in.
He wants us to have faith that he is who he says that he is.
And all the things that he says that he is, are that he's good, that he has chosen us,
that he does it, and that it's for us now, and that it's in, it's in every aspect that
touches us, our situation, our emotions, our thoughts, our health, our future, our dreams,
our desires, our whatever, that his character is manifesting towards us as the object.
Right now, we don't have to wait for it.
And it's in all of the areas that touch our lives that affect us, you know, in our spirit,
in our soul, and in our body, you know, our soul, meaning like, you know, your emotions,
your thoughts, your decisions, your will, et cetera, it affects your body, you know,
your health, your, I'm trying to think of like, what else, but like the, the situations
that your body finds itself in, you know, et cetera.
So that is what we're supposed to be focusing on instead of focusing on like, am I in rest
or not?
The whole thing about, there's nothing wrong about thinking about like, well, am I in rest
or not?
Because that's kind of like a sign.
It lets us know.
So Lord, you know, am I truly having faith in you?
If I'm having faith in you, then I'm, I'm in rest because I'm not worried about anything
because I believe you.
You say that you're good.
You say that you're taking care of me.
You say that you provide for me, all of those things.
So therefore there's nothing left for me to do.
That's rest.
It's a natural by-product of choosing God.
Instead of us thinking, I'm just trying to get rest.
You can't get rest.
If your focus is rest, you get rest as a by-product.
It'll naturally happen when you choose God, when you choose to believe him.
So that's how you can get unstuck is you choosing and is you, well, there was something else
I wanted to say too.
I remember that.
Um, is you choosing that to just always focus on the Lord and to, and to stop battling where
it is that you are, because that's part of what's creating greater shame and greater
condemnation.
Oh, shoot.
I was fine.
Now I'm not fine.
I was in rest.
Now I'm not.
Oh goodness, this is bad.
This means that I've made a bad choice.
It means that I'm not doing something right.
Or it means that I made a choice to have faith in the wrong thing.
And then, you know, and we just go down and down and down.
So we just create more shame and more condemnation and we, we get stuck deeper and deeper.
We cause a deeper and deeper, uh, because we cause ourselves to get stuck to a greater
and greater degree.
It's like, like thinking further and further down into quicksand.
So the way to stop that is simply choose, okay, but who does God say that he is and
who does he say that I am that'll immediately shift us up and out of it immediately.
But in order to do that, that means that you have to let go of all these things.
You mean you had stopped battling yourself and thinking, okay, well, um, I'm bad and
I need to stop being bad.
Don't label yourself as bad anymore because if you think I'm bad, I need to stop being
bad.
That's a, that you're, you're, you're battling it.
You're naming yourself and identifying yourself as something.
And then you're like, I need to stop that and you're focusing on it.
That gets us more stuck.
So what I've noticed gets me unstuck faster is if I stop, is I stop focusing on things
about myself that I don't want, that God says, oh, you shouldn't be like this and whatever.
And I'm like, okay, I shouldn't be like that.
So I need to just make myself, I need to look at it and I need to stop doing that.
Basically ignore it, just, just accept the fact.
Remember that letting go and shifting into neutral means stop thinking that it shouldn't
be this way.
It should be different.
Remember that that's the third tool is to stop judging.
Remember, you know, you tell yourself, what is it?
No shame, no condemnation, stop, no judgment.
Remember that no judgment is the third, is the third tool that I mentioned.
I go to that one all the time.
That's that where we, we, this helps you shift into neutral.
It helps you stop battling something is you, you stop thinking it shouldn't be this way
and it should be different.
Just accept the fact this is how it is.
You're not agreeing with it.
You're not saying you like it.
You're not saying it's allowed to stay.
You're not saying any of it.
You're just stopping battling and you're, you're, you're no longer saying it shouldn't
be like this.
You're like, no.
Well, it is.
I need to accept the fact that this is how I'm feeling about myself.
This is just the way that this is the way that it currently is right now and you love
and accept yourself even though you've made that decision and then you'll more easily
stop making this decision.
You're like, okay, well, it's not supposed to be like that.
Meaning like if I'm not supposed to think of myself like that, okay, well, but I am.
Okay.
So I'll just, I'll just accept the fact and stop fighting the fact that that's how I feel
and that that's how I think that then, then what that's doing is it's uncurling your fingers
and it's finally letting the thing go.
Now what you do instead is what God, what does God want me to do?
He says that I, he wants me to believe that I am who he says that I am.
So you have to choose that you are who God says you are.
And remember, you've been feeling this way, so now you're making an intentional choice
that God says that you're not that, but you're still going to feel this, right?
So you let this thing go and you stop fighting it, but you're still going to feel like that.
So your feeling isn't going to change yet.
You just make a willful and intentional decision, but God says I'm this, so therefore I'm going
to choose it.
That's faith.
Faith is choosing that something's your reality simply because God said it, even though you
don't feel like it.
You don't, you feel like you feel bad.
You feel unworthy.
You feel that you don't deserve things.
You feel that you've made wrong decisions and you feel bad about yourself.
That's how we feel.
Your feelings will automatically change when you intentionally choose that you are who
God says that you are.
You make that decision and you decide for yourself, nope, nope, I know that this is
how I feel, but I'm choosing that that's actually not true.
And then over time, your feelings will change and you'll start to feel like this person
instead of this.
That you can't, um, so you're, you were not waiting for our feelings to change.
We're choosing to stop and, and we're, we're making a decision to stop and to make a
different choice.
Instead of choosing this about me, I'm going to choose that this is true and I'm going
to start acting like this and I'm going to start, you know, believe in God about this.
That is what shifts you into rest.
So, um, anyway, so is all of this making a bit of sense?
I'm trying to, what I'm trying to do is to give you some practical things.
To get unstuck from where you are.
So is this, is this making sense?
I mean, does it make sense of like, oh no, this actually feels like,
well, this is something tangible.
I can grab ahold of, it's not really tangible, but you know, it's
something I can grab ahold of and do.
I understand how to do it, how to, you know, it feels, uh, it
feels like a relief, I think.
Yeah.
And it's like, you're kind of focusing on the gift instead of the giver.
And to focus on rest instead of God.
Yes.
It's focusing on the gift instead of the giver.
Yeah.
Yes.
That's what I mean.
And, uh, kind of, uh, I can see myself the fighting thing because for instance,
it's work, some other things are really challenging and then I get into, and
then I want to address it because I'm a very person that loves, you know,
righteousness, like battle, I want things to be right.
So then I go into battle and I can just see myself and then I'm like, I kind
of am aware that I'm not working out of my spirit, I feel like this is very
soulish, but it's like, I can't stop it because I want things to be right.
And then I feel condemned afterwards because I can tell that I was working
out of my soul and then I can see what you're saying, like the, the battle.
And then I'm like, Oh, I did something out of the soul and out of my emotions.
And then I feel condemned.
Yeah.
And then I'm like, why am I, and then I'm trying to get rest.
So I'm trying to apply principles and things that I learned.
And then, and then it becomes like a fight instead of, um, which ends with
going into battle, condemnation brings more battle, brings more condemnation.
You know, and I kind of get stuck there and not, and then I think I, the very
encouraging thing through this though, has been that I blame God a lot less.
That's great.
What do you do instead?
Like what's the response instead?
Like if, if I was struggling like this a year ago or something like that, I would
have felt more bitterness and much more against God.
And I can really tell my heart has been so empty of so much like, because even
those, these two months have been really hard, I have rarely turned against God.
I've been a little bit questioning what's going on, God, I don't understand
it, but I can tell that I know he loves me and that we're actually on the same
team here, I just don't know what's going on, but I can't tell that I'm like,
I'm like a lot less than resistance to our God.
And I don't feel like he brought this on me.
And what kind of tests do I have to go through, but I still feel like I am
battling and, uh, I am actually not focusing on him, him, on his goodness
and taking that step in faith.
I'm actually more, uh, trying to apply your, your principle and the things that
I've learned out of the situation, which is kind of like an, which is, I don't
know what that is, it's more like you try to fix it yourself, like you're saying.
I try to fix it myself, how to get into rest and out of this, and then I fight to
get out, get into rest and that's, yeah.
The way to shift into rest is always by choosing God over what you're focusing
on to shift your focus to God.
That is always the way that is the simplest way I can think of to describe
it, the way to get to always shift into rest is to shift your focus onto God.
Me and by focus, I don't mean like you're thinking about him more than
you're thinking about the other.
What I mean is you're choosing God as, uh, you're, you're, you're
choosing God over your choice of this.
So you're valuing him more than you value this.
And that is a, and you're wanting him more than you want this to go away.
You're wanting him more than you want this to change.
You're wanting him more than you want this thing to happen or whatever.
Is you want him more than life or more than the manifestation or more
than what you get from him, all of those things, that is how you shift
into rest literally in any moment.
Um, now the, the reason I don't really usually talk about that is because
if that is very, until, until we really.
develop a relationship with the Lord and basically heal from and unlearn some
things. That is really hard to do. It's really hard to do period. And to just
simply choose that he's more important than this thing. But that's why I teach
all of these tools is it kind of gives us a like a stair-step way of eventually
of learning things and learning how to make a choice for God instead of this by
like starting in something by giving like all of these tools to make it a
bit easier. But eventually once we get practiced well enough at it we're like
okay we'll be able to skip all those little incremental steps. We don't have
to go up every single run. We don't have to go up the stairs like one at a
time. You can start going up the stairs like two or three at a time. You know
what I'm talking about like when you go upstairs you know you can start going up
at two or three at a time. Because you know and and and you can now shift from
okay I'm in unrest in a situation. Okay that means that I am more worried about
this and I'm in I'm making this more important to me in my life. That things
get fixed and it's changed and this gets resolved and this gets reconciled. I'm
I'm making that more important currently than God. And God being who he is and God
being who he is in this situation. So because I'm making this more important
to me God can't be who he is into this situation because I'm not allowing it.
I'm not giving him the authority and permission because I chose this is more
important to me over that. That's an idol. So whenever we're in unrest we've made
something an idol over God. We've made something else more important than God
being who he is. It's only when we make God as being as as he is he it's only
when we make God being that sorry. Why can't I think of how to phrase that in
English. It's only when we choose and make it the most important thing to us
be of God being who he is. That is the only way that he can be that into this
situation is if we make him more important to us in this situation ever
changing. But how do you do this like like practically like I think I get like
the concept you're talking about and just like a picture of it. But then when
you come in that certain situations for instance my job and all the stressful
situations with the leaders the teachers this. Yeah. You go into every
single because that's also I think that we learned earlier was like you don't
have to micromanage things. You don't have to know where everything came from.
You don't have to track the thought and change the thought or yes kind of you
can kind of bypass those things. So how do I practically do this. Yeah. Well
I'm talking about that. That's what I'm talking about. That's really hard to do.
It's too big of a leap. That's why we're like yeah but how do you do that. That's
why I talk about like when I talk about in the rest intensive when I give people
like incremental things I explain it in like detail of like we'll do this kind
of a thing and do this kind of thing. Because to go from here to here is
something that we just don't understand. We don't understand how to do. So the
steps remember that I've that I've explained of how to do that is for one
thing you believe that God is who he says that he is. So that's something that
we have to do. Okay. And and then that's kind of like that's a I don't know how
to put it. But anyway that's something that we have to do. Another thing that we
have to do is we have to let go of this. We're holding on to this and we need to
let go. So one of the things that I so then I go through the different tools
that people can use of how to teach oneself how to let go of this. So they
start halt stop holding on to that. When I'm talking about letting go it's the
same thing as stopping making this so important. Remember how I said this is
more important than God. You know to us in our in our lives you know and that
makes us an idol. And that's when we're in unrest. So that's why I talked about
you know in order to shift into rest we have to let go. What I'm saying is I'm
expressing by the phrase letting go I'm expressing the fact that we're not
making that we stop making this so important to us. We let we we devalue it
so to speak. We give it up to God. We sacrifice it. We put it on the altar. We
submit. So those are all phrases of us doing the same thing. We're letting go.
We're submitting. We're no longer and we're no longer making this as important
and as valuable to us. All of those phrases are saying
the same thing. We're doing the same thing but if I use it if I use it but I just happen to use the
phrase letting go instead of always using the phrase oh make this less important. That phrase
doesn't really click with people but if I say let it go now I might have to explain to someone okay
by the way this is how you let go because we kind of struggle with okay well I understand what you
mean but how do I do that and then I walk through the different tools but if I use the phrase
letting go people understand how to what that means to let go of something it means to not
hold on to it anymore they're like okay I don't know how to do it but I at least understand what
you're talking about but if I say make this not as important they're like I don't understand how
do I make it not important it's important you know so I use a different phrase to help them
understand I'll say you let it go like okay I got that now tell me how to do that so so you all of
those phrases or like submit people are like I just don't understand what do you mean to submit
it what does that mean it means to let go okay okay I understand what let go means I just don't
understand what submit means again they all kind of mean the same thing submit not making something
making something less important devaluing something all of those things you're all saying
the same thing but no one understands that when I use those phrases so I use the phrase let go
they're like I got it now just tell me how to let it go you know so that so anyway that's what
we're doing um and as but you're asking you know how to practically do it you're you just you let
this thing go meaning that you're going to make it less important you're going to stop idolizing it
you're going to you're going to stop making it as valuable to yourself you know all those things
and how do you do that you you let go how do you let go do one of the tools like you know
go through those things like okay remember no shame and no condemnation and tell yourself to
stop remember no judgment meaning like stop fighting it this thing and stop saying it shouldn't
be like this and it should be different it should be better than this or it should be worse than this
because judgment is not being done and so it needs to be worse than this you know the judgment needs
to come or whatever it is we're thinking it shouldn't be like this and it should be different
we need to that's holding on to it we need to let go and how do you let go no judgment like okay
i'm just gonna i'm gonna stop saying that it should be different i'm gonna stop requiring it
emotionally to be different that is releasing it to the lord and now the lord can come in and do
something if he so chooses so that's how we practically um uh how we practically like make
these things not as important and make god more important than this thing is by doing those
letting go tools that i explained those are like the those are like going this going up those
stairs one at a time remember how i told you you know you go up the stairs one at a time you know
because going from here to jumping to the second level is it's it's too big of a leap we're like
how do you do that how do you like not make this important and make god more important than that
in a moment it's like telling someone to jump from the first floor to the second floor in one
leap it's like yeah but that seems impossible how do you do that so it's like okay just go up the
stairs one at a time just do these tools just just do these incremental things help yourself
do it you know um does that make sense i mean you don't have to tell me it makes sense if it
really doesn't no i think i understand it most of it okay it makes sense so i want to encourage
you in a couple of things one what it is that you're going through is is normal i go through
those seasons too where i'm like i just feel like i'm living a lot of my life in unrest
and all that that means is not that i've reverted or that i'm going backwards or i've lost something
remember it or that i i've finally i've lost ground no i still have all of that ground that
i had gained before all it means is that god's moving me into a deeper level i'm he's he's
allowing things to come up that are triggering that are triggering um or are are bringing up
out of me all of these areas in which i'm still in unrest and now they're all at the surface
so i'm facing them all right now but it doesn't mean that all those areas that i shifted into
rest i'm now in unrest in all of this no you're just in it you're just having to face the deeper
areas of yourself that have always been in unrest and that you've never dealt with not even you know
a year ago when you know you and i started working together these areas i know that they might seem
like they're the same areas they're not or or they're the same areas but what i mean is like
they're they're always at a deeper level
They're not the same thing that you've already conquered and that you've already won, because
when you've won in an area with the Lord, it changed it from flesh into spirit, that thing
died, was buried and was resurrected to spirit. That thing that's now spirit, that aspect of you,
you know, that shifted into rest in that way in which you're trusting and believing the Lord,
it is spirit and it can no longer die. You can't, you can't lose it.
If that aspect of spirit can't die and has to be faced and everything again, you've already done
it. So anything new that's coming up in the area of unrest is new, meaning like it's always been
there, but you haven't dealt with it yet. You haven't. And so know that you're just conquering
more and more territory in yourself. You're overcoming more and more into greater and
greater degrees. So when I hear that, Oh, you know, people get so worried, like, Oh,
actually it was an unrest and I was doing so well during the rest intensive and for several months
afterwards. And now I'm not anymore. I've lost something. You haven't lost anything.
You're just going to a deeper level. So what I taught in the rest intensive are the same
simple principles. We literally apply it every single level. We literally apply to every single
area of unrest that we encounter in our lives. Every single one. It's not that we've missed
something and that we didn't learn something the first time and whatever. It's that you now have
to apply all those things you've learned that worked in these areas. They will work in these,
but we think that because we worked on them and we got, and we saw some progress that we shouldn't
be experiencing these. It's like, no, these are areas that we didn't apply them to yet.
And now we have to apply them to these areas. We're always in a process of overcoming
our flesh until all of our flesh is transformed into spirit. And it will happen. It happened with
Jesus. All of him eventually transferred over into the spirit, including his body.
You know, it, it, it, the flesh died. He was buried for three days and then he was raised
resurrected as a spiritual body. And we know that because he was able to walk through walls and
translate from like, you know, leaving me the house and the math and appearing on the road to
a man and doing all this stuff, you know, so it was spiritual body. So, um, anyway,
so just be encouraged that what it is you're experiencing is you're just experiencing
walking further down this road where you've chosen a lifestyle of rest or like, you know, what
I choose God over my circumstances. And so I'm having to learn how to always choose
how to choose God in newer circumstances, in other emotions, in other, basically you're being
faced with all of the areas in which you're not believing God.
And so that a new one is coming up of how you haven't believed God in your life.
So now choose to believe God in that area, and then you'll shift into rest in that area. And
then another area will come up. So there's going to be a lot of them, a lot of them that are going
to come up about provision. A lot of them that are going to come up about protection, because
you're having to believe God that he is who he says that he is to deeper and deeper level. Okay,
God, I've been believing that. Um, like first, let's just say that when you started the rest
intensive, you believed that God provided you to this degree. He says he provides you to this
degree, but you, you believe this much after the rest intensive, you went through some through the
rest intensive, you and the Lord went through some stuff and you chose God. You chose in by faith
that God actually was better than what you thought. And he says, Hey, Renata, I am all this.
And you're like, okay, God, I believe that you're this. Okay. That's so much more than what you
started with. But God says, yeah, but I'm still all of this. So you're going to go through more
and more in your life where you're where stuff is going to come up. And you're like, I'm in unrest
in this area. And you realize, okay, well, I, you know, when God's going to show you, you don't
believe that I provide for you. And you're going, God, I do believe that you provide for me. And
God's like, yeah, but I provide for you this much. And the situation that you're encountering right
now is, is in here. And you're not believing me. So I tell you, I'm providing for you. And you're
like, and this is above the area that you've been believing. So you're like, no, God, you don't
provide for me. And he's like, yeah, I do. Or you get mad at yourself because you're like, God,
I thought we already dealt with that. He's like, yeah, we dealt with this. We didn't deal with
this part of my providing for you. You still don't believe I provide for you right here.
And so you're like, and then so you're going to have to stretch into that.
And then there's a bit more. So, so don't be worried if you're like, if you run into like
the same thing about God, like I thought that I, I shifted interest in the fact that God.
provided for me. I thought that I shifted into rest and the fact that God was good to
me and that whatever. Well, yeah, but he says he's this much and we're only believing in
this much. So he's constantly trying to get us to come into greater and greater agreement
that he is who he says that he is. By the way, this means that you only get to experience
this much of his provision. You only get to experience the degree of God that you believe
that he is. So if he's this much and he says he'll do this for you, but you only believe
this much, this is all you'll experience of God providing for you. So in order to experience
God providing for you like this, you have to believe that it's true. But, and how much
is all of this right now for you? It's an unknown. You know, it's for me, if for me,
it's an unknown as well. God's having to teach me that he is when he, God has to teach me
who he is. He says he's provision, but God, I've never seen that. I've only seen the amount
that I believe this far. And so I've seen you manifest like that, but you say that you're
more than that. What is that Lord? What does that look like? I know you've used the word
provision board, but what does that look like in my life? What does that mean that those
things will happen? What do you look like when your provision up here in my life when
I've never seen it? Does that make sense? So that's what, that that's where you are right
now. So, so I say that for your encouragement, don't be discouraged. You're not in a, you
haven't reverted. You haven't gone backwards. You're now, God is inviting you into greater
freedom. Look at the difference between your life before you started the rest intensive,
before you started believing God in these ways, and then your life after that huge difference,
God wants to take you from where that is to something even greater.
That's what you're going through right now is you're going through the transition between
what you have so thus far, and you know, and what you believed and shifted interest in
the Lord in. And he says, I know you like that Renata, because it's so great and so
different from how this was back here. I know that you like that, but did you know that
that is nothing compared to what I'm inviting you into here. And once you get here, you'll
be surprised that this was so wonderful to you because you just had no idea because it
was so much better than this, but understand the degree to which this, this is better than
this. This is better than where you are now, but we have to have faith in God to choose
to step into this unknown with him. But when we do, it's that much better than anything we'd
ever experienced prior. It's almost like, you don't realize how much in the dark you are until
you move into the light. So there's so much light here than what you had in the darkness there.
That's my husband so much that you had in the darkness chair, but imagine. And so it's like,
oh my word, this is so much light, but your light here is so much more than this. That
when you move into the light here, you'll suddenly realize how much in darkness you've been
during the rest intense. Oh, I say during the rest of minutes of meaning, like everything that
you learned during that time and all that you, that you developed in your relationship with the
Lord since you think that's light now. And God's just like, no, you're still in a lot of darkness.
You're still in so much more, so much bondage. You're a lot freer than you were here.
But, and so you think this is so great, Lord, I've lost it. And God's like, no,
it's that I'm still showing you all of the areas that you are in in bondage.
And I want to bring you into greater freedom. That's where you are right now. You're moving
from basically glory to glory. So it's, you're not in a bad place. You're not, you haven't gone
backwards. God is you, you are further down the road, but making the same transition that you made
before, during the rest intensive. And it feels awful. Do you remember that time? Do you remember
when you were going through that? And you're just like, this feels worse than it did before,
because now I feel like there's this carrot. And before I didn't even know the carrot existed. Now
I know there's a carrot and I can't get to it. That's what you're feeling like now. It's like,
I know it should be different. And why does it feel worse? It'll feel worse before it feels
better. And the reason is because the new stuff is coming up, the stuff that you hadn't dealt with
yet, this areas that you hadn't shifted into resting yet. So anyway, is this all making sense
or not? It's making a lot of sense. I feel peace when you're talking and just,
Yeah, I can see that how I've held on to things these months and then blaming myself and thinking
like you're saying like, oh, you lost it or I did something wrong or it's my fault that
I got out of rest and you kind of fear from in.
Yeah.
I think I have thought the thoughts and maybe this is a different level, but I haven't really,
I haven't thought it the way you're voicing it.
I've just like, maybe there must, this is something new God's doing or appealing to
us in a new way or that there is like another level or another more inheritance.
Like, or like, I think I feel it with finances, for instance, that like I used to have like
a poverty mentality and I feel like God has in various situations, set me more and more
free and yeah, that's great.
But now I've been feeling like I have had a sense that there's more freedom, but I kind
of cling a little bit to my old ways, but having a sense of provision, there is a different
level of freedom with finances and I feel like God has invited me into it, but I struggle
to go there.
Yeah.
I don't know how I hold on to my tight ways, controlling money, not as much as I did before
when I was in poverty mentality, because I'm a lot more free now, but still have some of
the same mechanisms and I can sense God is like, let it go.
Let me show you how generous I am, but I don't know how to accept it or move into it.
And then when we're talking, I realized that like areas where you're kind of still battling
and you're not letting it go and let God, you know, go from this level too.
And I can see that, oh, I used to be here and now I still struggle with it, but it's
not here.
It's here.
Yeah.
And I can feel the invitation, like I said, I can feel the invitation that he is inviting
me into something better, more freeing.
Isn't that wonderful?
Because like you said, you're instead of seeing God from the perspective of why are you being
hard on me?
You've now seen that, realized that all those like that, that feeling that you, that interaction
that you kept feeling from him, that previously in your life, you've labeled it as God being
hard on you instead was God inviting you, which is, which is instead of him being negative
towards you, he's being positive.
Isn't that fascinating?
Yeah.
Because a year ago I probably would have thought of it more as, is this a test or why are you
withholding things from me?
Why is it so hard?
Why is it so challenging?
And now it's more like I can see that it's not, God is inviting me, but it's me that
don't know how to step into it or receive the invitation.
Yes.
Yeah.
Isn't that great?
And so when God gives us an invitation, one of the things that makes it a bit easier,
and it's actually the only way to accept the invitation, but that makes it that, I don't
know how to explain it, but what we need to choose when we choose God's invitation, like
say for instance, you talked about him inviting you to, how did you phrase it?
You didn't phrase it as not have a poverty mentality, but you said to trust him work
for finances.
Maybe that's what that was.
So what it is that we're doing is remember that when we have faith in the Lord, we have
faith in him, not in his promise.
So we hold on to him.
It's that we believe that God is who he says that he is, not that he will do what he says
he will do.
What we hold on to is that he is who he says that he is.
So it's the same thing when God is inviting you into something to trust him with your
finances.
It's not that we need to trust that these things are going to happen to your finances
in that God is going to do these things with your finances, but rather you're choosing
that God is going to be good to you in your finances, and we can't label what good means.
We can't label that.
Well, good means you're going to have a lot, or good that you're going to have more.
We're not putting our faith that in how the finances and how God's character is going
to make it.
manifest. We're not going to focus on the manifestation. We have faith that God is who
he says he is, that he's good, and that he'll be that goodness into your finances, that
he is provider, and that he'll be provider for you in your finances, and he's protector
and he'll be protector in your finances. But we don't get to, but we're not having faith
that, oh, well, if God's good in my finances, it means this is what's going to happen in
my finances. So when God, so that helps, or at least it does me, it's still a risk that
we take because faith is always a risk. It's still a stretch that we make to believe something
new about God and to accept his invitation. But at least what helps me is it's easier
for me. And I don't know if it's just, yeah, I don't really know why. I don't know if it's
like it will, that's easier for everyone, or if it just happens to be for me. But for
me, I find it easier to make the choice if I realize that I am choosing that God is something
instead of trying to believe that instead of choosing to trust that God is going to do
these things in my finances. For me, I find it easier to choose that God is something
than that the X, Y, and Z is going to happen in my finances. You know why? Because these
things don't always happen in our finances. And we have experience in that, right? So
it's harder for me to believe that. And so for me, I find it a lot easier to accept God's
invitation to stretch my faith and to believe something new about him. If I just choose to
believe that he is who he says that he is. And I know that people have found it hard to believe
something that God's telling them, because they're trying to believe that this thing is
going to happen. Yeah. And I don't think they need to be believing that this thing is going
to happen. They need to be believing that he is who he says that he is. Yeah. And sure, God
always, yeah, less. Yes. Yeah. Because you're just all for his goodness. Yeah, exactly. It's
still, yeah, it's still always that God is being good. And yeah, he can invite you into it, but
you'll end up having less. And if he's doing something in your finances and in your trust in
him. Yeah, correct. Yeah. So the two things that I'll leave you with are that I recommend, you
know, to help you like out of like the stagnant is to remember, focus on your relationship with
the Lord. Here, let me back up. Focus on two things. God is who he says that he is to the
degree he says he's that and that you are who he says that you are to the degree he says that
you're that. And just choose them. You won't feel like it. Remember, you've been focusing on
Oh, you know, I'm bad. I've done the wrong thing, whatever. But is that who God says that you are?
Your flesh has done those things. Absolutely. You're fresh made those decisions, your flesh is
in fear, your flesh is afraid, your flesh is angry, your flesh is whatever. Sure. But is that who you
are in your spirit? No. So so instead of identifying yourself as what your flood is, as the way your
flesh is acting out, and in all of its fear, and it's all of its unbelief, instead of identifying
yourself as that, let your flesh do what it's doing right now. And just understand, well, it's
afraid, okay. But that's not who I am. I am the spirit is not afraid. You know, my spirit is one
with Christ, and I'm not afraid. And I always believe my father and I'm always loved by my
father. And I always feel loved by my father. And you know, that is who I am. And I always choose to
focus on who you are not how you're acting. And then how you act will change. The more that you
focus on who it is that you are, the more how you act will change. So focus on who God says that he
is and who it is that he says that you are. And part of that is is stop fighting your flesh so
much stuff. And by fighting, I don't mean that you're accepting it that you're giving it permission
to do stuff, you know, and to act out into whatever it means to stop condemning it or fighting it. And
not in disassociating from the part of yourself that's making those decisions. Being like, you
shouldn't be like that. Just stop fighting it just shift into neutral like, well, that's, that's how
I'm being. God, I'm asking that, that you help me change that shift into your spirit. Ask your spirit
to like talk to your soul and your body. Talk to your soul and you know, calm them down and, and
help them feel safe. And you talk to your soul and body and invite
them to feel safe with your spirit, you know, et cetera, so that things will change, but
you will shift out of this stuckness place faster.
If you stop, if you, uh, Oh man, I just thought of the word, well, that's aggravating.
And that we're, man, it was a different, I was going to use a different word that I thought
would help clarify it even more, but anyway, it says you stop fighting yourself and, um,
and seeing yourself as an enemy and being antagonistic towards yourself.
Meaning like you stop, you stop resisting yourself.
There you go.
Stop resisting because remember whenever we're not in rest, we're in an active state of resistance.
So stop the resisting to allow the spirit to flow again.
And then things will change.
Um, remember that, and I always try to make this very clear to people.
You stopping the resistance is not the same thing as you being permissive of it.
You're not agreeing with it.
You're not saying it's okay.
You're not giving it permission to sin.
You're not, you're not doing any of that.
You're just stopping the battle.
You're stopping the resistance against it.
The resistance is keeping you stuck and it's not allowing change.
The more that we resist, the less, the less that can change.
Does that make sense?
So cause here's basically what it is.
Think of it like this.
Um, it's needing to move this way.
All right.
And it's acting out and it's being ugly and it's doing all kinds of stuff.
And we're like, Oh my goodness, you need to stop doing that.
The only way that it can actually stop being like that is if you let it go through, you
let it pass through, but you can't allow it to come up and then you tell it to stop.
It's going to keep it.
You have to let it go through.
So that's what I'm saying.
You stop the resistance.
It's a little similar to what I walk.
I say it's a little similar.
It's the same thing as what I'd walk people through.
And I've been walking people through this and the breakthrough program about like when
your emotions come up, and I think I mentioned this in rest intensive, you let your emotions
come up, like even fear, anger or whatever, and you allow yourself to fully feel them
in order for, and then, and then submit them to the Lord in order for them to come up and
out.
But you can't, you can't feel anger come up and be like, Oh my word, I shouldn't be angry.
Cause if you do that, well, and you, and you like think, Oh my word, this is bad.
I shouldn't be like this.
What you're doing is you're stifling it and it pushes it down and it keeps it.
So in order to let, in order for the anger to leave and in order for the reason, whoops,
in order for the reason of anger to leave, you have to let it come up and out.
So you have to allow yourself to feel it instead of being like, no, I shouldn't feel that way.
You have to accept the fact, Nope, this is me and this is how I'm feeling and let it
come up and leave.
So take that emotion and you submit it to the Lord.
So what I've been recommending to people is when you are feeling a particular way, say
you're feeling frustrated, say you're feeling disappointed.
You talked about depression.
You know, you're just feeling very, uh, what is despondent, hopeless, whatever sits in
that feeling with the Lord.
Like in other words, fully feel the feeling, not, not kind of a little bit, allow all of
it to come up.
However much you want to feel, allow that to come up and then bring, and then allow
God to come to you or go to him.
However, it makes sense to you and literally sit in his presence, fully feeling that ugly,
awful, just come uncomfortable feeling.
Huh?
Okay.
Um, and, uh, and then that will allow you to, um, well, a couple of things.
For one, you'll get to experience that God, um, that God fully accepts you and doesn't
resist.
You doesn't resist being with you and will not even correct you while you're feeling
that way.
And you're sitting in his presence, you will find that he will fully accept you feeling
that way, which you feel is then, you know, like, I felt like I'm in sin right now.
I'm angry.
I'm afraid I'm whatever.
I'm feeling ugly because like inside, I'm feeling ugly, you know, it feels awful.
And I know this is sin and I'm in sin in the presence of God.
And we've always been, we've always thought God's going to reject us.
God's going to correct us.
God's going to punish us.
God's going to do something and you will find that he just lets you be.
He just sits with you and he's fine.
He is very unthreatened by your sin.
It's very unthreatened by it.
He's very unthreatened by your feelings.
It's very unthreatened by your unbelief.
So he'll just, you'll just sit with him.
I've experienced this and you will experience that God fully accepts you.
He's not giving you permission.
He doesn't say it's okay.
You know, none of those things, but he's just letting you be, and he's
letting you be as you are, how you're feeling with all of the issues that
you're struggling with, with all your unbelief, with all your accusation against
him, he will let you be that while you're with him, you will get a different
experience about God.
And here's what I found with me is that when you, and this has
happened with other people as well.
When you sit with him with all those feelings, you'll
suddenly let go of the feelings.
It's like you self-correct, like God won't correct you.
You will find that, that the presence of God will heal that in you and take it away.
It's really weird.
And you didn't correct yourself and he didn't correct you.
You being in the presence of God healed, you feel that filled the need that you
have, that all those emotions were coming up in relation to, and it'll go away.
It's really strange.
You will feel safe.
You'll feel protected.
You'll feel provided for, you'll feel, you'll feel his goodness.
You'll feel good.
You'll feel it.
You'll get the sense of, you'll get the sense from God that you
really are who he says that you are.
You'll feel differently about yourself.
It's really wild.
And you didn't, you didn't correct yourself and he didn't correct you, correct you.
Literally being in his presence while you're sinning in the middle of
your sin will heal your, will heal you.
Remember that sin is simply unbelief and it'll heal that unbelief.
So anyway, those are some things that I would recommend to you is stop
fighting yourself, letting go.
That'll help you get unstuck.
Choose God and not rest.
Choose God and not you being a particular way.
Choose God and not your circumstances changing and everything will change.
Your circumstance, your circumstances may change, but your, your
emotions will definitely change.
Your perspective will change.
Your feelings will change, you know, et cetera.
So, and then get back to me, you know, within like a few days, you
know, a week or two or something.
Let me know how it's going.
It's I'm good.
This is so good.
Very helpful.
Can I ask you a last question?
Sure.
Have you thought about more of the things that Annette and I addressed?
You said a little bit about doing a breakthrough thing.
You said a little bit about,
I have, I haven't come to a conclusion on it yet.
I'm still holding it before, before the Lord.
And so, but I'll let y'all know what it is that I decide.
So, but I have definitely been thinking about it and praying about it.
Thank you so much.
I will let you know in a few days or a week when how things goes.
Perfect.
It's good to see you too.
Bye.