Hey everyone, all right, the last session about owning yourself, I've been very excited
about this one.
This is one that I began talking about maybe about a year ago, as I was noticing that people
were struggling in the rest intensive to make decisions, in other words, to make choices
for themselves.
And I, and as I began to, oh, and then also they were struggling with, with relationships
with other people, understanding how to approach situations that might create conflict, etc.
And as I was just, you know, seeking things out, excuse me, in the spirit, a phrase came
to me and I began to use that and that is called in the phrase was basically you need
to own yourself.
And it was partly because the Lord had been talking to me and teaching me about that and
showing me ways in which I wasn't owning myself in my life and owning my decisions, or how
I hadn't been doing it in the past, like, like before the Lord, Lord began walking me
through my identity.
And then he began, and then as, as he began to walk me in my identity, one of the things
that I began to realize is, I had to take a, I had to be assertive about my own life,
I had to be assertive, I had to take assertive action and approach to my, to my decisions,
to having faith, etc.
And then my whole life changed when I realized that I had to own who the Lord gave me.
So he gave me myself first as the first basically, area of my kingdom, before he gave me other
people before he gave meaning like a spouse or children, or, you know, to be responsible
for and to love and to care for, you know, etc.
The first thing that he holds me responsible for is myself, and everything is supposed
to come from who he has declared and identified himself to be, and me to be particularly in
relation because he is who he is, and he's created me from that and from who he is.
So that's where this whole thing came out of.
And I noticed that it began to majorly impact people.
And I apologize, I haven't been getting messages all day and also getting messages on my, on
my computer, I really do need to research how to dismiss those, or mark them as silent.
Maybe, I don't know if I can do that or not.
So I'm gonna have to research that.
So I apologize.
Okay.
So first of all, we keep coming in of all times.
Okay, so this is our last one on myself.
And then over here, of course, we always talk about what it is that I personally struggled
with that I felt might be something that that other people might resonate with.
And so for me, it was kind of like this living life as the child servant, that I was always
that I never had a right to, so to speak, grow up and take ownership of in charge of
and finally be in the be the authority figure in my own life.
And I kept what is that called?
I kept pawning it off on other people.
I kept thinking other people had that right.
What happens is I'm giving up that right.
That is what we do, by the way, with that the Bible talks about with like Satan, you
know, in his in his kingdom is that we are we've become it we are voluntarily because
God has has saved us.
And you know, as Christians, we're now the new man.
If ever we start acting like the old man, the Bible says, you know, that we're voluntarily
re enslaving ourselves again to the law when we don't have to.
So it's a voluntary thing that we're doing and we're doing it because it meaning like
when we do that, we're giving up the authority of our own lives to someone else because that's
what a slave is.
It's where you no longer in control.
And so it's this feeling of like this child servant, what we can do.
And this is why I mentioned a servant is because we have a tendency to also use the word servant
in our as as helping to define our relationship with the Lord that, well, I'm just a servant.
I'm a servant of God.
And yes, we are.
And there's nothing wrong with that.
Our problem is not seeing is a seeing ourselves as a servant first before understanding that
no, we need to own ourselves first before we can voluntarily submit ourselves in servitude
to God.
That's what Jesus had to do.
I have to realize that you have the right to submit it in order to be able to submit
it.
Because for instance, you cannot submit something that you don't own, that you don't control
because then you don't have the authority to submit that thing.
You know, it's not yours to give away.
It's not yours to submit.
It's not yours to do anything with because you don't own it.
You have to own it first before you can follow through on what God has asked us to do, which
is to submit yourself.
You have to own you first, meaning that you have to realize that you have the authority
in your own life to make your own free will decisions, which is a God given gift to you
and that he doesn't violate.
You have to realize that you have that.
You have to claim that in order to be able to submit appropriate to the Lord and then
be able to see yourself in a healthy way as a servant of God.
Because you see yourself as a servant, but only after you can see yourself as a son.
You see yourself as a servant before you see yourself as a son.
God is very clear in scripture that that is the opposite way around and that you don't
have a very healthy relationship with the father.
It's seen in the prodigal son story where the prodigal son says, Hey, will you just
allow me?
And he said, you know, I know that if I go back to my father, that my, that his servants
live better than I do outside of my father's house.
So I, if I come back to my father, maybe he will be gracious enough to me to allow him
to allow me to be a servant in his household.
And the father said, no, that's not appropriate.
That's not enough.
That is not your place.
Your place is as my son, then as my son, you will serve in my estate, which is what the,
which is what the, um, uh, the older son did, but remember as well as what the old,
the older son had the same problem as the prodigal son.
He didn't see himself as a son.
First, he saw himself as a servant, which is why he became resentful whenever the prodigal
son came back and the father's giving him all of this stuff.
The prodigal son chose to receive the cloak that the father gave him the, uh, the ring
that the father gave him, the fatted calf and the party and all that.
He chose to receive that while the older son was simply resentful and the, and the father
approached him and said, you've never received the benefits of being in my estate.
You just always served me.
And so, because you've always seen yourself as a servant in relationship to me, even though
you knew in your head that you were my son, you first approached me as my servant before
being my son.
And therefore you're now resentful when you see someone else taking advantage of what
it is that I've given them and what I have identified them as, as being my son.
And so I'm calling you to see yourself as my son first, in order to healthfully see
yourself then afterwards, as a result, being someone who serves in who serves me in my
kingdom.
So there's nothing wrong with us seeing ourselves with the word servant, but it can
only helpful.
We can only healthfully see ourselves as that.
If we see ourselves as sons first, otherwise seeing ourselves as like what I refer to here
is, and this is just what I saw myself as.
I felt like I was always a child to God and I was always a servant.
So I was, I was always this child servant that didn't, that was always at his mercy.
And that had no right to myself, including, I felt that I had no right to myself with
other people as well, that they always, that, that I couldn't say no, that I didn't have
the right to, that I didn't have the right to reject a request, which is something that
we'll be talking about in a minute, et cetera.
So anyway, this reminds, I found a, there's a passage in Jeremiah that reminded me of
how I had always talked to the Lord when the Lord was urging me on into maturity.
And I didn't recognize that that's what he was doing.
My response was similar to Jeremiah, where he says, I do not know how to speak.
I am only a child.
Jeremiah one six.
So at this time, at the beginning of Jeremiah, God is calling Jeremiah out.
And he says, before I formed you in your mother's womb, I knew you and Jeremiah.
And he's urging Jeremiah, Hey, look, this is the role that I have you to play.
I have you to be a prophet.
I have you to call, uh, to speak out my word to the people.
And that's hard, but I'm going to make, I think it was Jeremiah and not, and not
as equal that he said, I will make your forehead as, as, as hard as Flint so that
no matter the opposition that comes against you, when you speak my word,
you will be able to withstand.
I will give you that strength.
So he's calling Jeremiah out.
But Jeremiah's first response was, how can I speak on your behalf?
I'm only a child.
Well, God's saying no.
Oh, that's not who you are.
You're inappropriately identifying yourself
as a child in relationship to me,
as a child in your progress to maturity.
I am declaring you otherwise,
and in order for you to step into that,
you have to now see yourself differently.
You have to identify yourself as I have identified you.
So what does this, so if we don't do that,
we cannot step into maturing as God wants us to,
all of the, including gaining all of the benefits
that God says that he gives us in his kingdom,
that he gave the prodigal son
when the prodigal son came back,
and then he offered the older son,
and he told the older son,
you've never taken advantage of it.
You've never received the benefits of being here,
and now you're resentful,
and you need to receive the benefits.
You need to see yourself as I see you.
You need to see yourself as my son first,
and so that's what he calls us to do,
and so if we're frustrated with our lives,
if we're frustrated feeling we feel stuck,
part of that comes from the fact
that we're feeling that we don't own ourselves,
and we go straight from not feeling that we own ourselves
straight to submitting ourselves as a servant to the Lord,
but you can't do that healthily
until you realize that you have been identified
as having your own, as being able to own yourself,
having the authority over yourself, so to speak,
and being able to make your own decisions
before you can healthily then make the decision
to submit yourself in servitude to the Lord,
because the servitude is as a son servant,
not as a slave servant,
so I wanted to read a passage to you
that you may have, before this journal,
may have never even realized that you read in scripture,
so remember that Jesus was our example
of how we're to live our lives.
Now, because even though he was God,
it says in the Bible that he set aside his divinity,
I think that was in Hebrews,
but it said that he set aside his divinity and found it,
oh, man, of course, I memorized it in King James,
and I'm trying to remember it,
but even if I do, it sounds so Shakespearean,
it doesn't, and it's hard for us to relate to,
but basically, it says that he found his equality
with God to not be,
oh, man, I don't remember the King James phrasing,
and I definitely don't remember it
in any other translation,
because I grew up on King James,
but anyway, the thing is that it's,
I don't remember the exact phrasing,
but basically, it was saying that even though he was divine,
that he set aside his divinity,
and operated out of his humanness
that had a relationship with the Lord,
so that he could be a true example to us
of what it is that we can do as humans
that are sons of God,
not the same son of God that Jesus is,
because of course, he's the first son of God,
he is the firstborn, et cetera,
he is the son of God with a capital S, capital M, right,
or sorry, I was thinking son of man,
capital S, capital G, right,
and we're sons with a lowercase s,
but still, we're sons as,
and in the same way that Jesus was operating
as a son of God when he was here on earth.
Sorry, I think that there's a mosquito who's found me.
So let's look at,
in your, right below your session notes there,
let's look at John 10, 17 to 18.
The reason my father loves me
is that I lay down my life only to take it up again.
No one takes it from me,
but I lay it down of my own accord,
meaning his own will, his own choice,
his own decision, his own intention.
I have authority to lay it down
and authority to take it up again.
This command I received from my father.
So I don't know if you knew that that's in scripture,
but that's in scripture.
And remember, Jesus was operating out of his humanness,
meaning like his humanness that had been chosen by God
to be his son.
And he, of course, was found as a son of God, lowercase s,
even though he also was the son of God, uppercase S, right,
which allows us to then read scripture
and see how he lived his life
and know that that's an example,
an example of his sonhood.
act example of what we can expect. In fact, remember, Jesus said, not only will you do
all the things that I've done, he said, you will do more than that. You will do more than
what I've done on earth, you know, healing the sick, you know, et cetera, bringing heaven
to earth. He said, you will do greater things than this. So not only was he an example to
us, he said, you will even do greater things than this. So we know that this is that, that
the way Jesus lived and how he interacted with the father, as far as like how he, um,
how he submitted himself to the Lord, you know, everything, including took up his own,
his, uh, his own right to himself, his own self will the authority that God gave him
to operate out of that, that, you know, his own free will. And we know that that is what
God calls us to do as well. God doesn't dictate to us what we have to do. He invites us to
obey him. He invites us to agree with him. He invites us to align with what he said is
true, but it's still our choice. So we are, we have to realize that God holds us responsible
for the choices that we make. Are we going to come into alignment and agreement with
him or are we not that we do have to realize that it's our own choice in order for it to
be valid and to take effect and to have power in the kingdom of God. If you do what God
tells you to do that, you don't feel that you, how do I pick that? You don't, you felt
that you were made to, here's what I'm trying to say. If you did it and you didn't feel
that you had a choice and that you were subject to him, you cannot receive all the benefits
that God says that he gives his sons because you've chosen instead to come in as a servant.
I have no choice, meaning like a slave. That's what I'm trying to say. You're coming in as
a slave. I have no choice. I'm just here to serve kind of like the older son. I don't
have a right to the benefits because you don't see yourself from that relationship. So even
though there's such great benefits that God, that God offers to us, we have to take on
the risk of being responsible for our own choices and to know sometimes we're going
to make the right choice and sometimes we won't, but who's responsible us, not God.
So what a lot of times we do, and this is what I used to, I used to do is, and I didn't
realize that this is what I was doing, but because I didn't want to take responsibility
for my life because I felt it was wrong. I felt that that was selfish or that that
was a man centric and that, um, uh, that I was seeing myself as greater than the Lord,
uh, that kind of thing. Then I just always thought, okay, I'm a nobody. And I just submit
myself to the Lord as a nobody. And he is everybody. And therefore I don't, and I don't
have a right to myself. Um, I just give myself up fully to the Lord and I'm him and I'm his
to do with what he will. And God's just like, no, I don't want you to give yourself to me
as if you're, as if you're nothing. And to, for me to do with you, I like a puppet or
a robot, whatever it is that I will. I want us to do this together. I want us to have
a relationship. I went to invite you into something and I want you to voluntarily of
your own free will, you risking yourself on our relationship, just like I'm risking
myself on our relationship. I want you to risk yourself on your relationship with me
and follow me in whatever it is that I have declared is the truth. I want you to follow
me in faith. I want you to risk yourself in believing that I am who I say that I am. And
part of that is what I have said that you are. And, uh, and so it's, and so it's risky.
And I didn't want to, for one thing, I thought it was wrong for another thing. I thought
it was, you know, to think of, uh, to take that kind of responsibility for myself. And
also I just thought it was, um, uh, I didn't want to be responsible if I made the wrong
decision. I just wanted it to all be okay. Just because of like, well, God, I just thought
at least I know for myself that I thought that that's what you wanted. So if it goes
bad, it's God's fault because he told me to do that. And I was just, I was just subject
to the circumstances because I was just being obedient as opposed to taking responsibility
for my life and realizing and, and owning my, uh, owning my choices before God. And
I will tell you, God loves people. God loves strong, strong
decisions. God loves it when people make strong decisions. I've discovered this for myself.
I was told that by someone and I was like, it's so interesting. This is an interesting
phrasing. I didn't really know about that. And I don't really know why. And then I realized
I was very, when they said it, I realized in practical moments and situations, how hard
it is to make strong decisions, but I began to do it. And I was shocked at how much God
loves that and how much God moves more in my life and moves situations and provides
opportunities when I strongly make a decision for or against something or make a strong
decision to act on an act on it or don't act on something, you know, depending on what
the situation is. And, um, so in it's, and, uh, we can see this in scripture that God
loves strong decisions by how he talked to the, to, uh, the church of, um, Laodicea.
Oh my word. So I don't know if y'all can hear all of those dings. I hope not, but you probably
can not had so many messages. Oh my goodness. They're just like out of nowhere, everyone
realized, Oh, Ashley's recording. And so messages, because I'm getting him from like people who
don't even, you know, connect with each other. So I'm getting it from random places, literally
a rep from around the world. I'm like, what is the deal? Flag must've gone up on a pole
somewhere above my house. Oh, contact Ashley now. Cause she's recording. Um, but anyway,
um, and when he got talked to the church of Laodicea, he said, I wish that you were hot
or cold because then I know what to do with you. He said, but I can't do anything with
you. If you're lukewarm, all I can do is spit you out of my mouth. So we look at hot
and we, and cold and we're thinking, well, surely there's only one choice that the Lord
wants that wants us to make. He probably wants us to make the hot one and not the cold one
is what at least the impression that I always got. So understand he would rather you make
the cold one. Then to not make a decision or to be kind of like lukewarm in your decision,
kind of like straddling the fence, kind of like, well, put one foot here and one foot
here just in case this doesn't work out or just in case, you know, I'm really scared.
I know God said to, I know that God said, this is the truth, but I'm going to keep one
foot over here just in case I can, I need to pull myself back to safety because you
know, God really wasn't faithful. Like he said, or God really wasn't good. Like what
he said. In other words, what I had faith in really didn't work out, you know, or really
don't like how it worked out, you know, or being lukewarm or just kind of, or just kind
of a lot of times what we've what we find ourselves doing in that lukewarm state is
what we refer to as waiting on the Lord. And waiting on the Lord is a great thing, but
I don't think that we've understood what waiting on the Lord means. A lot of times we think
that waiting on the Lord means that we're not supposed to do anything. And instead,
waiting on the Lord is having faith that he's going to do what he said he will do. And we're
just waiting for the manifestation, but we are expectant and we're waiting assertively.
We're not waiting passively. And so the waiting passively is lukewarmness. That's actually
not believing God. It's just, it's just waiting around, you know, where you've got no skin
in the game, just seeing if God's going to do it, but emotionally you're not invested
and you haven't risked yourself in faith that God will do it. And that God will be who he
says he's going to be. Right. Anyway. So Jesus, again, looking at John 10, 17 to 18, the reason
my father loves me is that I lay down my life only to take it up again. So he laid down
his life first. He had to submit his life first. Then God gave it back to him, right?
He told him, he said, I know now that I can trust you because you fully submitted yourself
to me, even until death. Now I can give you power and authority because even though you
had a right to it before, because you were my son and you were, uh, you were divine and
she were signed with a lowercase S said, even though you had a right to the power and authority,
you submitted what I had, what you submitted it to me completely. Now I know that I can
give you all power and authority because all of the power and authority that I give you,
you're always going to submit it completely to me. Now I can entrust you with it. Right.
And so anyway, only to take that up again, no one takes my life from me. No one, not
even the father, no one takes it from me, but I lay it down voluntarily of my own accord
or you know, of my own choice of my own intention of my own free will. She, the Jesus was showing
us an example here that even in relationship to his own life, you know, about like dying
on the cross, you know, et cetera.
it had to be Jesus's choice. He was submitted to the Lord, Lord, whatever I would rather your will
over mine. I would rather this kept past for me, but Lord, you know, I would rather your will
than mine. Right. And so he had submitted his will to the Lord, but when the Lord told him
what he wanted, Jesus had to make the choice. It doesn't mean that, okay, well then I guess,
whatever you say, Lord is just going to happen. Just like, okay, you know, Lord, God come,
you know, father come take me. No, Jesus had to voluntarily give up his life. He had to
give it, he had to put it on the altar, let it go, walk away and abandon it. That's how it feels.
It feels like we're abandoning an aspect of ourselves. Right. But it says that I laid down
my life of my own accord of my own choices. The only way that this works and you have to own it,
you have to claim it. You have to know it's yours in order to know that you have the authority to
make a choice for or against what God is saying. It's not going to just happen just because God
said, and just because he wants you to do it, you're just like, okay, well, God, you know,
if you want me to, well then I'll just do it. No, then that feels like a servant where you're just
like, okay, well, I guess I have to, because God said, and if he doesn't, he's going to punish me.
No, you have to make a free will to that. That won't count. What God wants to happen as a result
of you submitting yourself won't happen if you're like, well, fine. You know? Okay. I guess I have
to, or you do it scared. Like, oh my goodness. Okay. I'm not even going to look, but I'm just
going to like, do it. That's not faith either. You have to, you have to own the decision that
this is what I choose. Yes. I understand it's risk, but I choose God. I choose his will.
And I choose to intentionally of my own free will step into and intentionally do what he
tells me to do. You have to make it your choice. You can't do it because God said.
You can do it. You can do it because God said, because that needs to initiate your choice,
but it, the end, the last thing that's being done has to be your choice. Not because God said,
because God said needs to initiate the motivation for your choice,
but in order for it to be a sacrifice in order for it to be a submission, it has to be your choice.
Not God said, hopefully that makes sense. That can initiate your motivation, but you're the one
who has to be the last thing to touch it. This is my choice. This is what I'm doing out of my own
free will. I'm not being forced. I'm not being coerced. I'm not obligated. If you feel that
you're being obligated to do it, that's another word that I keep that, that, um, that explains
what I'm trying to say. If you feel obligated when you're doing it, if you felt obligated to God,
well, I have to, you know, then that's actually not owning yourself and owning your free choice
because you feel an obligation owning yourself and doing something out of your own free will
cannot have a sense of obligation. It can't. If it has a sense of obligation, that is slavery.
That is thinking of yourself as a slave and offering yourself to God as a slave that you just,
you're out of control of your own life and you have to, because God's forcing you like forcing
you, like by pressuring you or saying that, will you know that acting as if you don't have a choice
in the matter? Like, well, I've given myself up to God. So if he says I have to do that,
then I have to do that. That's still a slave mentality. So anyway, that to, to put it in,
in very layman's terms, that doesn't count. That's not submitting yourself to the Lord.
That's not acting in faith. You're doing the thing, but it's not acting in faith. God wants
more from us. He wants us to be, he wants us to own, but in order for us to, to, to submit
ourselves in the way that God wants in order for us to come and collabor with him in the way that
he wants, we have to own our free will first. Okay. Sorry. I thought, I thought it was somebody
I'm supposed to be getting together with pretty soon, but it's not. Okay. So let me go to the next
thing. Okay. Let's see here. Okay. So something that I keep talking about and mentioning is the
word assertiveness. I mean that I keep the, how, the word that I am, that I can use to describe
what it is that I'm talking about, about owning yourself is being assertive. That's another word
that you can think of it as it's making it.
said, it's being, taking proactive action and making a proactive approach towards something.
So you need to choose to create your own life and choose it with intention.
So you need to create your own life and approach it proactively, like emotionally, psychologically
designing it, whatever. You need to do it with a purpose of creating it instead of letting it
happen to you. In other words, your life and how you approach everything needs to be because this
is how you're choosing to act. This is what you're choosing to believe. This is what you're choosing
to do and to design and to how you're choosing to respond, et cetera, as opposed to letting
your life and what it looks like be determined by how you're responding and how you're reacting
to what happens. That's not owning your own life. So instead, so it's creating it proactively
instead of being, excuse me, a victim to what happens to you. And instead of being a victim
to your responses, to your reaction. In other words, well, this is what, these are the cards
that have been dealt to me. And so the best that I can do is simply respond is come up with the,
with the best responses that I can, the best reactions that I can. You won't feel like you
own your life. And quite honestly, you won't be owning your life. You will have submitted it
to in slavery, to the kingdom of the world, or, you know, in certain situations and to the Lord.
And that's not how he wants us to come to him. He wants us to come to him as a son that instead of
as a slave. So remember that you always, always, always, always, always, always, always without
exception have choices and options always. So sometimes people will say things like, well,
you don't understand in this situation here. I didn't have a choice. No, you did. You just
didn't like that other choice. You just like really didn't like it where it didn't see,
you didn't like it to such an extent that you're like, no, that making that other choice
is not an option. So it just shows where your value system was, but it doesn't mean that it
wasn't a choice. It's still an intentional choice. So that whole idea of, well, I didn't have a
choice is a, is only comes from, from people that haven't owned themselves and decided, no,
I'm going to take proactive. I'm going to make proactive decisions of what I want and how,
and what, and how I want to live life with the Lord, how I want to, how I want to respond to
what he initiates because remember God must always initiate everything. But I want to make a proactive
decision about how I respond. I understand that we don't always like the series of choices that
are presented to us, but we always have a choice. So you just make which one, which one fits in best
with how you proactively want to approach your life. Right. And okay. So remember that what,
what, how we've gotten to this place is when we were children, we felt very powerless, right?
We were very dependent on things happening around, uh, on how things happened around us
on other people. And because we were not in control, they were parents, other places,
other people of authority, certain situations that we found ourselves in. We had to learn how to
take, uh, how to be in power. Uh, how do I, how do I put that? We had to learn how to take up
power, how to take up control. In other words, responsibility for ourselves that is learned.
But the thing is that if we took, when we were developing our sense as, um, as, um, our, our,
our sense of life, our perspective of life as children, and we just saw it as, oh, and we
interpreted it, interpreted it as this means that I'm always out of control. And we thought that
that's what life was telling us. In other words, that that's, that that's what our circumstances
and how things worked out. We're telling us was simply, I'm always out of control as opposed to,
no, this is just my time in life. If we took it as this means that I'm always out of my,
out of control, we're going to take that into adulthood thinking. That's just how life is
that I'm always out of control. I'm always at the mercy of what happens. I'm at the mercy of God.
Like I was to my parents where I have to why, because they're bigger and badder and stronger
or not badder, but you know, we can kind of play.
like things like that, you know, just like, because we don't always want to do what they
want us to do.
Right.
That they're just bigger than me and they're stronger than me and I just have to, and I'm
just at their mercy.
And then we can put that onto the Lord and think that that's how the Lord interacts with
us.
Even though we grow and mature with him and he, and he doesn't, he wants us to match his
purpose in maturing us is to eventually be more.
It's not that we're equal with him, but it's that we are oh, I just now remembered the
phrase.
It's that Jesus did not consider his equality with God to be, is something to be desired.
That's how, that's how the King James phrase, the fact that he was giving up his divinity,
which I think is a very fascinating way to phrase that.
But there you go.
King James for you.
But it's not that we're exactly, it's not that we're equal with God.
It's just that God wants us to have a relationship with him, where we have a contribution to
him that he is blessed by and that gives to him and invest in him, just like he invests
in us.
And so he wants to mature us to the point where our, our character mirrors his character.
And so in unity, there's back and forth, there's a two-way street.
Now God always, always, always, always, always has the preeminence, right?
But he's trying to mature us into bearing more weight at the table, at the table of
co-counsel and discussion, you know, et cetera, of how do we Lord want to bring you and who
it is that you and I are together and express that into the world.
You know, we're going to have greater and greater weight in that.
Let's see here.
Okay.
So we, as children, we always felt subject to others, right?
And we can feel that in our relationship with the Lord.
If we don't realize that our relationship, the Lord is meant to grow past that.
It starts out like that.
Sure.
That God means for us to grow into just like we're supposed to as adults into owning ourselves
more and to realize that we have a responsibility, not just, not just in front of God, but you
know, with other people like our parents or other, other, I don't know, individuals
that we interact with peers, et cetera.
That we have a right to decide things for ourselves and how this will manifest that
maybe we feel that we're not having responsibility for ourselves is things like, if we don't
feel we can say no, right.
To when, when people ask, when people make requests of us, et cetera.
And so anyway, we can feel subject as well to the Lord, meaning that when we do that,
we're not taking responsibility and then we're just bet and we can't therefore have true
faith in God.
Why?
Because someone who's not, who doesn't have a responsibility of themselves can't make
a choice because they don't feel like they have the right to make the choice.
The choices are always made for them.
God always chooses what I do and what I don't do, you know, as opposed to, no, you and God
do this together, God's decision, you know, in God's, God's saying it weighs more than
yours does in the discussion, but you do have a part in the discussion, right?
You have to bring yourself to the table in order for God to have someone to have a relationship
with and to work with, you can't have a relationship with the jellyfish.
Okay.
Meaning like somebody who has no background, who has no sense of self, who has not owned
God gave you, you take you up, claim you so that you'll have something to give God so
that you'll have something to interact with, with God.
We can we can feel subject to the Lord and to just feel subject to whatever happens.
Okay.
Well, you know, I'm dependent on I'm out of control of my own life.
I don't get to choose anything.
And I can just like put in a wish list, like to a genie hoping that, you know, my parent,
you know, as if you're three years old and just hoping that your parent will say, okay,
you can go to Disney world or you can go to, you can go to the ice cream store.
You can go, you're just hoping, right.
And that's what we do with the Lord.
We're just like, I'm going to throw it up like, Lord, please, please.
You know, we, we interact with the world like a child and God wants to mature us past that.
The only way you can do that is if you know, no longer interact with him as a child where
he's the one doing everything.
And then he's the one controlling your life, but rather take up responsibility for your
own life, for what it will looks like, how you, how it's designed, what your future is,
you know, et cetera.
And as opposed to, oh, well, I'm just going to sit back.
God has control of my life.
I don't.
So I'm just going to see what happens.
I'm just going to see what he does.
So when bad things happen, we blame God, well, God, you were in control, you know, and God's
like, no, take responsibility.
I gave it to you.
What I'm doing with you is maturing you to teach you how.
how to take up the responsibility,
how to maturely and kindly interact with creation
and to design your life according to your character,
which needs to be reflecting my character.
And that's the maturing process, right?
We can feel dependent on waiting for things to change
instead of taking responsibility for proactively
with the Lord and taking proactive action
so that things can change.
Now, again, we don't do this on our own.
We do this in co-counsel with the Lord, et cetera.
We'll be talking about that in just a second.
But before I do, I wanted to mention that, oh, that's why.
What we can do sometimes is we're waiting for things
to get better on their own.
We can develop that habit
because that's what we did as a child.
And we can do that in real life,
not where we're just waiting for things to just get better.
And we're standing by, not taking responsibility
and just like, well, Lord, why aren't you changing it?
Why aren't you fixing it?
Why have you abandoned me?
And God's just like, it's your life.
He's like, yes, I do this with you.
And I want you to submit the final decision to me,
but dadgummit, take part in it.
Come up with ideas, submit them to me.
Let's talk about it.
I'm not responsible for living your life for you.
And then you just sit there like a bump on a log,
just reacting to everything,
and then blaming me for all the things you don't like.
He's like, if you don't like it,
take action and decide with me what we're going to create,
what we're going to do.
That's what God, that's part of the process that we're in,
the development process is he's teaching us how to do that.
It will not happen overnight.
And it doesn't happen just overnight when you turn 18,
you know, in the physical sense, you know, it just doesn't.
Just because you're an adult in the physical sense
doesn't mean that you're naturally an adult
in the spiritual sense.
God's going to teach you how to do that.
So that's, that we need to realize
that that's what's going on
and submit ourselves to that process.
And it's important for us to take initiative action.
Initiative, by the way,
does not mean initiative before God, before he does,
because remember he needs to initiate everything.
But a lot of times what he'll,
the initiation will be some truth
that he has spoken about you,
about like the fact that, hey, you're good and you're holy
and you're perfect beforehand, you know,
and you are the king of your domain, you know, et cetera.
These things that he said, that can be an initiation.
And then as a response to that in faith, you're like,
okay, God, I choose that that's me.
So Lord from that, I choose also that that is the truth.
So from that Lord,
I think that this would be a really good idea.
I think that this Lord exemplifies my character,
which I believe exemplifies your character.
I believe Lord that this isn't just something that I want.
I believe that this is an aspect of you.
What do you think?
And you co-counsel with him and see
if that's what y'all are supposed to do and carry it out.
So, and I'm sorry, I was thinking about like moving into,
use that as a segue to talk about the next thing.
But before we do, I just want to mention
that feeling subject to other people and to the Lord
or to like, like I said, other people is a codependency.
Because remember that codependency is always waiting
for like outside conditions to be met
in order for you to be okay.
That's codependency.
And you need to gain freedom for yourself.
Like what we were talking about just the other day
on the group chat, you need to take,
you need to claim freedom for yourself first.
And you be what make you meaning like your spirit,
which is one with the Lord,
not you just by yourself and your soul and your body,
but you and your spirit need to be what makes you okay.
Not what happens and how other people are interacting,
how other people are behaving or whatever.
So you need to always, so you need to be the reason
and the Lord needs to be, you and the Lord together,
your spirit in alignment with the Lord
needs to be what makes you okay.
And sorry, I was looking at my notes here.
Okay.
Yeah, not only to make you okay,
but you need to be what initiates a change in your life
as opposed to just waiting for something else to change
in your circumstance.
And that's what you need in order for your life to be changed, you need everything else to change, you need so and so to change your spouse to change you need your child to change, you need your circumstances to change in your finances to change
in order for your life to change. No, you are the authority that everything else is listening to you need to initiate the change in order for something to change in your life.
And we often, we often outsource that that's the word that I was like a while ago, we outsource that to God, because we feel helpless, we have, we have a learned helplessness in our life.
And God says no, you're not helpless I've given you everything that you need. Pull, he says, for me from the Lord.
Well for me.
All right, so what life, are you choosing to create for yourself so here's a process of basically kind of like the steps that you can go through in order to begin creating things for your life.
First of all, be intentional.
You're going to have to make a choice you're going to have to make a decision, be intentional, this is, this is a reality, this is who God says that he is and who says that I am.
And from that place. This is what I am, this is how I'm going to live. You may not have the exact thing of like how you're going to live but that I'm going to live proactively.
I own my life. We're going to talk about some examples in which you can practice owning your life.
So be intentional.
Then, create and design it.
Dream.
Notice and discern the things in your conversations with the Lord, what rises up in your spirit where you feel life, where you feel excitement where you feel passion.
And then, and then you present those things to the Lord and co counsel. Now with the smaller things you just kind of like king them off of your spirit and, and just in see if you sense this, a sense of like freedom and openness, or if you feel like a closeness
And by smaller things I'm talking about something like you thought you were going to do one thing today with your schedule and then you thought well I don't know maybe I'd actually like to go into town and do some shopping.
You know, I was going to do all of these things, but maybe I'd like, maybe I need to go, you know, shop, maybe you haven't shopped for winter clothes in a while and you know that you need to.
So you're like, you know, that just feels like fun today. So I had all these other things on my schedule to get done. But this other thing I feel life on it I feel like that stepping into honoring and and appreciating who God made me to be and I'm just going to be enjoying myself I'm going to be.
I'm going to be actively stepping out on my faith in God and who he says that I am by, by enjoying myself today.
So I was going to get all these things, you know, checked off on my list.
You know, and then you see, okay, well, I can just kind of ping that off of my spirit, or, you know, I don't know, should I do that because I won't be doing all of these other things I'd be doing this instead.
Do I feel an openness and a freedom do I feel like my spirit rising up within me that yes it's good to do today is that's a good choice to make.
Do you feel life on it is another way to phrase it, or do you feel like a closeness from the Lord not from your flesh not from fear but from the Lord of like no, it's just not the wisest thing to do today.
That's great that you want to do that, but enjoy love and honor yourself in while you're doing these other things, you know, and so that's what I mean by like a smaller thing.
With the bigger things it's important to be very deliberate with the Lord of like, okay, or we're gonna spend some time in prayer. I'm going to, you know, seek you Lord really intentionally.
I'm asking Lord you know what should we do about should I take this job. Should I, and I don't know should we change churches should we you know like the bigger things like that.
What I'm saying though is that it's that normally with the smaller things we can get overwhelmed and we think funny to stop and deliberate and just like okay Lord, what should I do, you can just ask remember this, this relationship with the Lord needs to be.
You need to see this as a way of life that he's with you he's not a genie or or a someone, you need to be very afraid of, and like check and make sure he's okay with it, you know, so you don't get punished, you know, it just, this is someone you're
doing life with even more closely than you're doing life with your spouse, treat it like that, making part of you, not part of your life, making part of you.
The only way you can have a healthy relationship with yourself.
But is part of you, meaning like, uh, meaning like he's not separate from you.
Um, because you remember you're unified with him, right.
Um, okay.
And then the last, was there something else that's going to say, Oh yeah.
And then you, and then you, of course, from that co-counseling with the Lord,
you make a strong decision.
That's very important.
Make it strong.
Don't be wishy-washy about it.
Okay.
I'm going to do this and I hope it's okay.
I think it's okay.
You make a decision about what you think about, about, if you think that it's
front, that it's reflective of the character of the Lord and that he's okay
with it, then decide and act on it by faith, meaning like that you're choosing.
You believe that this really is God that is giving you permission, openness,
freedom, that this is the direction that his character that he's
revealed to you this far is in.
It's in you doing this.
It's in you living like this.
It's in you, you know, may as if you it's in you enjoying yourself and going
shopping for some winter clothes, you know, because, you know, because
you've been needing to or whatever.
It's make, make a very strong decision so that you are, so that you allow
yourself to be accountable to God for having made that decision.
Not holding God accountable for the decision that you made, because that is
doing what Adam did with Eve, where he said, well, you, this is the woman you
gave me, don't go to God.
If he gets onto you later and says, well, you know, and says, Hey, look, you
know, child, that, that really, you know, wasn't my, you know, my character.
Just take that as a learning experience.
Like, okay, God's just showing me this isn't him.
So I'm trying to just, just kind of find him and try to learn where he is and
try to learn and discern, you know, what's, what's from the spirit and
what's from my flesh, you know, et cetera.
It's a learning experience.
So take it like that.
Don't, um, instead of taking it like, well, God, you know, but you told me,
or I thought you told me or I, whatever you hear all of that defensiveness.
That is the same thing that Adam did when the Lord, you know, approached him and
he said, who told you you were naked?
And he said, well, it's the woman that you gave to me.
She's the one who ate the fruit.
And she said, it's, it's that defensiveness.
Only what we'll do is just like Adam is we'll turn it onto the Lord.
Lord, you, you put me in this position.
I just thought I was doing the right thing, you know, or you gave me this
woman and I thought, because it came from you that anything that came from
now was okay, you know, and yeah.
And so you have to make a strong decision.
And if God corrects you, you know, and you realize, oh, well, apparently
wasn't where the Lord was today or how he was talking to me or, and he was,
he's just simply teaching you how to discern who he is and where he is and
what his character is and allow yourself to be held accountable by the Lord.
For your decision, you will move much quicker through life, through that,
that maturing process, if you are bold about making strong
decisions and you own a mistake.
If you own, not knowing something, you will move faster.
It is shocking how much faster you will move.
Then if you try to not make decisions or try to make sure that they're
absolutely perfect before you make them, you will, I can tell you from
personal experience that one is a mix.
Oh my word.
I don't even know it.
You will move through life at least 10 times slower at least.
And it's probably more than that.
And your life will be in the Lord will.
And honestly, physically as well, you know, physical experiences and
whatever, it will speed up at least.
No joke, at least 10 times more and at least 10 times faster.
If you make strong decisions and allow yourself to make mistakes and to be
held accountable by the Lord for the fact that that was you and your choice
and your free will that made that decision.
Very strong.
So, um, uh, anyway, um, let's see here.
What is the next thing here?
Um, okay.
Um, Oh, wow.
That's an interesting place that I put that note.
Let me move that really quick.
Cause that's not a good time to talk about that.
It'd be so confusing.
Um, it's not letting me touch it.
Oh, there we go.
Okay.
So let's move that really fast.
Where are we going to put that one?
I'm going to put that one down here.
When we talk about saying no.
Okay, sorry about this, but this will help us make this, and it'll make a lot more sense
if I put that down there.
Here we go, okay, okay that that's helpful.
All right, um, strong decisions, um, okay so also about dreams you know you're dreaming
or desiring things etc.
I wanted to mention that, um, okay so people that don't dream, let me just read it out
how I wrote it, people that don't dream, don't pursue their dreams, or do nice caring loving
things proactively for themselves, not as an escape, because a lot of times we do self
care things as an escape, no, if you do not dream pursue dreams or do nice caring loving
things proactively for yourself, not as a defense of like well I'm just tired and so
I need to regroup proactively for yourself.
If you don't, you don't like yourself.
People who don't do those things don't like this, that it we're not trying to not like
ourselves we don't realize that that's what I'm what we're doing but I promise you that
is exactly what we're doing.
If you're not pursuing your dreams.
If you're not just dreaming, and if you're not doing nice caring loving things proactively
for yourself, then you don't like yourself.
You need to change that you are something that God wants you to spend time on that God
wants you to honor.
You have no hope of appropriately honoring someone else, unless you honor the first thing
that God gave you, and it holds you responsible for.
So your decision making process needs to depend on you and the life that you want to
create and how, and, and it not it needs to not be created based on others needs or requests
that they make of you.
Now, you need to choose.
This is a really big one, you need to to in making choices, but we're going to talk about
now is talking about the difference between yes and no.
And like when you want to say, like, how to say yes and how to say no and own your decisions
when you do that.
So first of all, realize that you need to choose God, others, and yourself over the
outcome.
Remember that we've been talking about that, you know, this whole time about about outcomes,
and how we need to like let go of that outcome, right, you always need to choose God, others,
or yourself over what could happen over the outcome.
And that includes and we're and we're used to things about like, a lot of times we're
used to choosing others over the outcome.
What's very important is we can't choose others over the outcome until we've chosen God and
ourselves over the outcome.
Okay, so first of all, in saying yes, so remember that, that, that, wow, there's all kinds of
like wasps around here today.
That we wonder, you know, what to say yes to and what to say no to.
So remember that when you say yes to something that is a commitment to which you're intentionally
offering yourself.
It's more than you're offering your time or your possessions or your money, you are offering
you, there's an aspect of you that's in it that's in your time, that time belongs to
you, your money, that money belongs to you, you're supposed to be a steward of that, you're
responsible for that, right?
So just remember that every commitment that you make, everything that you say yes to is
you committing an aspect of a piece of a piece of yourself, you're going to be investing
it, you're going to be pouring into it, because you're going to be giving it a part of yourself.
It's that serious, right?
So you need to own you in order to appropriately be able to say yes to things and it needs
to be and you need to be kind to yourself and hold proper boundaries, so to speak.
So that you're only giving what's appropriate to give of yourself.
So when you say yes, it needs to be an assertive decision based on the life that you want to
create based on what you want your life to be and look like and who you want to be, etc.
So even if it's a response to a request, so what I mean is just is if someone makes a
request, well, this isn't something that you probably designed in your mind of like
the life that you wanted to create for yourself of doing this thing, but someone has come
to you and you now have a response, a reaction, right, that your response and your reaction,
you need to own the decision of how you're going to respond, you don't allow yourself
to just respond based off of what you want.
Want to avoid happening.
No, what you say yes to in that request needs to be because that is a decision
that you have made of what you want to do and what you want to give yourself
to not something about not, not, not just your time, you too, that you want
to pour into, you know, et cetera.
It needs to be, it, it, it's that kind of a, of a serious thing.
And it needs to fall in line with who it is that you are and what kind of a life
that you've designed and decided that you wanted to have.
Now, I don't mean that all of this meat, that, that every request that people
makes is something that just sounds.
And that we say yes to is something that sounds fun.
It doesn't always sound fun, but it needs to be something that you decide.
No, I can choose what I want to with my time.
I'm not obligated.
I am free.
I'm not enslaved by an obligation on my word.
I have to know you have to own yourself.
And decide, okay, do I want to, is that something that I want to choose to do?
It may not be something that's fun, but what does it mean?
What is it going to mean for that other person?
If you, if you do that request, is it going to make them feel loved?
Is it going to make him feel appreciated in some like very significant way?
Is it going to be some way that you can just, just help them out and you want to
be the, the person that, that would help in this kind of situation and this, is
it actually a time where it's actually helpful to you, you know, to do, I mean,
meaning like it's an appropriate time for you.
Um, and if so, you make that decision.
No, this is what I want to do for with my life.
I am going to intentionally do this thing.
It may not be fun, but there's all kinds of things that we intentionally do because
it's the kind of life that we want to create, but we don't just love the thing
that we're doing, like brushing our teeth.
I mean, seriously, how many people look forward all day to brushing your teeth?
No, but you just do it.
Why?
Because it helps you create the type of life that you want.
That's what I'm talking about.
Building community, investing in relationships, et cetera.
So, and you don't say yes to all of them, but you say yes, very
intentionally to some of them.
You're the, it needs saying yes, needs to be intentional, not a reactive
response out of obligation.
Right.
Um, and remember that your love cannot be created by the needs of others.
So remember, love your neighbor as yourself.
Your love for you is the standard of loving others.
So own yourself.
So you have yourself to give to others.
Um, just you choose to love someone.
Don't make yourself love someone because they need something
because they, they need whatever.
No proactively choose to love other people.
Um, and you, and do that from your spirit.
That's how you'll be able to love the unlovable.
That's something that I wanted to mention because so often we feel that we have to.
That we'll try to create a fake love for someone else because we
feel obligated to love someone.
You know, we feel obligated.
Well, God tells us to, if we feel an obligation to, it's not real love anyway.
So just, just forget it.
Right.
But you will automatically, naturally, effortlessly already
love that person in your spirit.
So if you want to love someone, shift into the spirit and see them as God sees them.
Then you will be loving them.
Don't try to love them out of your flesh.
Um, just because they need to be loved just because you see a need, because
you will get burned out if you do things out of obligation, including
try to love someone or try to make yourself love someone, you know?
Okay.
So saying no.
So people, um, uh, can believe that they don't have a right to be able to say no.
And you've got to understand you do have a right because you own yourself
and what it is that you commit to.
Um, and even if it's a response, like I said to a request, um, now I'm not going
to talk as much about this one, but I do want to mention that people can get
sick when violating their own boundaries.
They literally can get physically sick.
They can develop auto-immune diseases.
They can develop anxiety.
They can develop chronic stress, et cetera, because they're
violating their own boundaries.
They feel controlled by and subject to other people's requests.
You have got to take that power back.
Meaning like you have to take it.
You have to claim yourself again, and it might look messy for a while.
Right.
And when you, um, in, in trying to, in trying to do that, you might feel me.
Don't do it from a mean place, you know, and just like trying to protect yourself.
You don't need to protect yourself, choose yourself.
And when you choose yourself, you will find that you will do.
more loving, caring things than you did before. And people also have more respect for you.
So remember that people can, that you can get sick when violating your own boundaries, not
necessarily just doing it one time, but if you consistently live that life, because your soul
feels abandoned and your body then takes that instruction and belief and tries to protect
itself. And it feels that it is subject to and vulnerable to all the things that are coming
against it. Right. Okay. And so authenticity, remember that it's important when you're owning
yourself to be very authentic, to, to know who it is that you really are you, who you really
are. Remember we talked about that last time, getting to know who you really are. It's important
to be authentic, meaning that it's that authenticity is honesty with vulnerability.
You can't honesty without vulnerability is not authentic. You can only be authentic. If you're
being honest with vulnerability and being vulnerable at the same time. So if y'all have
questions about this, you know, y'all can ask me. And remember that we were just talking about
personality tests, like the desk. Remember that personality tests reveal what a person believes
to be true about themselves and who they believe themselves to be not who they really are.
So I, I just, you know, hold things like the desk, you know, the grain of salt, it,
it gives us an idea about how people act based off of who they think they are. Right. But it
doesn't mean that, that, that, that does not identify who we really are. Remember what that
guy said about me, you know, that my desk profile showed so opposite of how I interacted with people.
And he said, because that shows how she submitted that she is, you know, to the Lord it's because
I had learned that, Hey, just because this is how, uh, that, that, that the D and that C in me,
you know, that, that dominating, that dominating personality that I, that I had a tendency toward
was based off of who I thought that I was. Right. Um, and, uh, and there's still an aspect in which
that actually is how the Lord made me that there is an aspect in which it was, it was who I thought
that I was in the fact that my low social, uh, motivation, my low social motivation, I thought
that that was me as well, but a lot of that was self-protection and it was simply based off of
all of these beliefs that I had created. So my personality test was reflecting who I thought I
was and who I thought I needed to be to protect myself and to go out into the world and accomplish
certain things. Right. Um, and, but it doesn't mean that that's actually who I am. They don't,
it doesn't reveal to you who you or other people are. It just shows you what people believe that
they are, who they believe that they are, and there'll be acting according to how they believe
that they are. Right. So that, so that's how you can, that's why it's helpful is it helps
you understand why they're acting the way that they are or why you're acting the way they are,
because they reveal what you believe about yourself or what they believe about themselves,
but it does not reflect your actual identity and who God created you to be. That is only when the
Lord, when you're fully submitted to the Lord. Um, okay. So here are some examples. I feel like
I'm just moving so quickly because you know, me, I always have had so much to say. Um, and, uh,
that I always think it would be, Oh, it'd be helpful if they knew this and be helpful if
they knew that and help them practically walk it out. If, um, uh, uh, if they do these things.
Okay. So here's some examples. Um, I'm just going to mention three time, personal possessions and
relationships. So for time, remember that it's yours to determine how you want to use it. So
these are examples of how you can, uh, practical examples of things in your life that you have to
make decisions on there that you can then recognize, Oh, this is how I can, and these are
some areas in which I can choose to, um, reown who it is that I am and be able to practically walk
this out and act on it. So it's yours to determine how you use it. And remember, use your time
where you value on, on, on your value systems, not on what you don't value based on other people's
requests or social pressures or whatever, uh, on what you uniquely value, what you want to create
the life you want to create for yourself and your family. Um, and remember your time is not,
is not been taken from you. You are choosing how you use your time. You don't like it. If you feel
pressured and obligated, take that responsibility back and decide, and either, and there might be
certain things that you feel obligated to do that. If you stop, and if you take your power back,
you realize, no, no, no, that's I get to decide how I want to do that. You might realize, no,
I do still want to do that, but now I I'm not doing it because I'm obligated. I'm doing it
because that's my actual choice. That is something that I choose of how I want to
spend my time because of what it gets me. It creates X, Y, and Z.
the firm of an experience for me and my family or for me or, or whatever.
Um, and, uh, but make sure that you take responsibility back of making that
decision instead of releasing responsibility of it, um, outsourcing it
to make you out of control because you feel obligated, so your time
has not been taken from you.
You're the one who's choosing how to use your time.
It's not taken from you and it's not owned by others, even children.
A lot of times moms can feel that way.
They can feel like, Oh my goodness, I just have to, because I have
these little kids and whatever.
No, it is still your time, but what kind of a life do you want
to create for your children?
What kind of a home environment do you want to create for your
children or, you know, for work?
What if your work doesn't own you, your work is submitting to you.
All of these things that they want you to do, you get to choose.
Are you going to do those?
Or are you going to bear or are you going to choose to do something else?
Well, if you do something else, then your boss is going to respond in this way.
And you're just like, well, that's not the kind of life that
I want to create for myself.
I'm going to, I want to be helpful.
I want to, I want to be proactive in my job.
I want to, um, uh, you know, I, I went to, Oh, I want to claim what it is.
I want to claim my time because this is how my boss presented to
me what they wanted me to do.
And I chose to take up that project.
So I'm not being obligated to, I'm the one who chose whether
or not I wanted to take it.
Now, would I prefer to take it?
No, but I would bet.
I mean, meaning like you may not want to, you may not want to
do what they wanted you to do.
But so you don't have to take it, but it would mean that you'd be
living this kind of life over here.
Well, I don't want to live this kind of life over here.
I want to live a kind of life that da da da da da.
Okay.
Does this fall in line with that?
Yes, it does.
So therefore I'm going to choose of my own free will to take on this project.
Again, if y'all have any questions about how this works, um, just like, uh, you
know, more detail, um, if y'all have more specific life examples that you want me
to, um, help discern, you know, just, uh, and, and meaning like how to apply
these types of principles to those specific examples, just let me know.
So personal possessions, we talked about this, I think last time.
Um, so this, I'm just going to do a side note on it.
It's not a deep dive, even though I could do a whole program, just
about personal possessions and what I've learned and walked out of my own life.
It was shockingly amazing to me.
But, um, so think about your possessions and why you have certain things.
You don't have to think about all of them.
Just start thinking about it in general, certain things that you have.
Me, I went through everything that I owned.
Um, and, but start, start with that.
I don't know your clothes or your favorite thing or your least favorite
thing, you know, or stuff that you have around the house that you're like,
I really wish you didn't have this.
And use your, um, and, and use those things to help you discern.
Things about yourself, because they're all saying something about yourself.
Um, think about why, if you can't release certain things, because
they mean so much to you, maybe it's nostalgia or whatever.
Why can't you bear to release those things?
So why are certain things important for you to keep?
Um, I would recommend that again, owning yourself is, is choosing
that something's part of your life, choosing to keep it, not being
afraid of it, not being with you.
Not it's not being afraid of, of losing it.
That's not owning your own life.
That's feeling reactive and, and, and feeling a life that's
just, uh, reactive and responsive.
Where something else, this material possession has control over you
has, um, owns you in some way.
Um, it has a hold of your emotions and it can affect you.
So if you lose it, it can affect something deep within you, and
that can be indicative of a problem.
It can be indicative of the fact that we're being enslaved by, um, things
that by meaning that we've given to certain possessions, so you want to
keep things because you want them to have a, you want to proact, you want
them to play an active role in creating your current life.
And so ask yourself, is this symbolizing?
So these are some positive things.
Does it symbolize a part of yourself that you wish you could express, but
haven't been able to like maybe a particular hobby that you've always
wanted to do and that you just really haven't spent the time on in the past
few years to do, but you just, you're always inspired and motivated and
there's something always inside of you that just kind of lights
on fire whenever you see it.
Right.
Is, is that it, or, um, does it symbolize a part of you that
you wish you could express?
So we get, it's an aspect of yourself that you feel that you need to honor
or that you hope that you'll get to honor, um, with more, uh, with more
time later on down the road.
So therefore you want to keep it because it's just having that book
isn't it, or those, those items is an expression of what you want to do.
So, um, I think that's, that's a really good question.
It is how you're able to express that part of yourself right now.
It's the limit to which you can express it and you hope to be able to express it in more
in the future.
Or is it an at, or is the thing that you have maybe even an active ingredient in the life
you're intentionally trying to create for yourself, what you don't want to hold on to
are things that are no longer you are no longer that are either negatively impacting your
life or are not in alignment with the life you're trying to create because those things
can be hindering where it is that you're that you go and they can be holding you back.
It depends on the thing, but generally speaking, it can be holding you back.
There are certain things like, like nostalgia from like our childhood that are just special
to us just because, well, you know, this bit, but you'll find that they're usually things
that you like and that are very special to not that create fear that you'll lose.
That shows there's some kind of an unhealthy connection or a wound associated with that,
that you haven't dealt with associated with that thing that it reminds me that you haven't
quite dealt with.
Um, so, and again, you're then enslaved to that, uh, that, that possession is indicative
of something that you're enslaved to in your life.
You're not owning, um, that part of yourself, um, okay.
So in whoops, oh, maybe it wanted to be more.
Um, so the last thing is relationships.
Remember that you own that, that you need to own your part in your relationships with
others and get to choose what you say and do in relationship to them.
So, uh, don't let other people and how they might react to you, uh, determine your interaction
with them.
Well, they might leave.
Well, then they own you.
You're being, you're enslaved in that relationship.
Um, their decisions are determining your wellbeing and whether or not you're okay.
That's a problem.
Um, so, uh, you need to choose to have relationships and be with people because they're your choice,
not out of obligation.
Um, and their choices don't determine yours.
Okay.
So, um, keep in mind that the only way you will own yourself is you have to choose to
own yourself.
People aren't going to give you permission to own yourself, especially if you're being
controlled by someone emotionally, like say for instance, in a relationship with a sibling
or parents or with, uh, a friend at work or with a neighbor or with your roommate or
whatever that, um, they're not going to give you, if you're being controlled by them, they're
not going to release that and give you control.
You're going to have to claim that for you.
And no one can give you that only God can.
So you have to claim it only from him.
It will not come first from anyone else.
You might get encouragement from some people, but no one will give you permission, especially
the people you have the greatest trouble with people that are going to come against
you whenever you like, rise up and try to have a voice that coming as you, they're not
going to, they're not going to, uh, be like, well, you know, I should give you permission
to do that.
No, they're not going to, you have to take it.
It's very hard you, and all you have to do is you don't have to client require that they
respect you.
That's not what we're talking about.
You respect yourself and you let them deal with the aftermath, the risk that how they
want to respond, but you hold true to you.
Um, okay.
So, uh, um, I'm just going to mention this when you're waiting for things, when you're
waiting for things to happen and to change in your life, it, you cannot, it's not giving
up when you're waiting.
You cannot give up.
If you give up, that's not waiting.
It's a defeatist attitude.
You've given up, you know, you're not having faith, et cetera.
You need to wait assertively, proactively, and intentionally choosing.
It needs to be an active thing that you're doing.
Waiting needs to be an active thing that you do, not a passive thing that you do.
Just waiting for something outside of you to, to change.
Waiting is an active thing that we do.
Um, also need to, uh, talk to the Lord and ask him to help you stop doubting yourself
because as you doubt yourself, you have stifled your intuition and you're not, and you don't
have as much access to not just your gut feeling, but what I, but your spirit, what your spirit
is saying, because you're always, because you're doubting yourself, you need to choose
that you are who God says that you are.
And, um, and to get, be getting to know that person and to allow that person who it is
that you are, like what we talked about last time to rise up and man, and express itself.
Sometimes it'll come in the.
form of emotion. Sometimes it will come in the form of just a knowing about something.
Do not doubt yourself. Give it honor. Submit it to the Lord to ask him, Lord, is this even
valid? Is this true? But don't squelch it and doubt yourself. Present it as an option
to the Lord. Instead of doubting it and wondering and questioning it, don't question it. Just
take it before the Lord and see if it aligns with him. Instead of doubting it and trying
to figure it out yourself, let the Lord figure it out. See if it aligns with what God is
telling you. That's how you can only follow the things in you that are true without doubting
yourself. Instead of figuring it out on your own, present it up next to the Lord. You need
to honor yourself and your intuition in order to be able to regain that.
The last thing before I talk about the practice, the last thing is remember to is parent yourself.
And that's what our practice is going to be about. So parent yourself. There's be gentle
with yourself, provide a safe place for yourself so that you can own you, right? You need to
reintegrate, so to speak, all the different aspects of yourself that are at all different
ages of where that's that got stunted in their growth, where they were very deeply hurt.
You need to bring all of those different places up into maturity and be a safe place
for yourself to grow up in those areas, to heal in those areas. You need to be a safe
place for your soul and your body to come into a belief about God instead of standing
and staying in unbelief. So there are a few different things. Some of them are things
that our fathers do for us. And some are things that our mothers do for us. So we need to
be those things for ourselves. So things that our mothers do for us is you, you want to
be on gentle with yourself, be fully accepting. Remember, by the way, remember that this owning
yourself is the last thing to do. The first thing is accept yourself fully, then get to
know yourself, allowing yourself to fully express yourself without, without stifling
it, etc. And then proactively do something with yourself, own yourself, claim yourself,
you know, honor yourself, accept yourself as being this thing and act on it, right?
You can't do that without doing the other two things. First, you can only do this to
the degree that you've done the other things that you've accepted yourself and that you've
allowed yourself to express yourself and you fully and you fully engage with and interact
with those pieces. That is the only time in the only way in which you can then own yourself
in those areas. You can only own yourself and claim yourself in those areas in which
you've done these other two. So, so don't skip those other two and just keep trying
to own yourself. It will not work and it'll create damage. Do the other two first and
then do this one and then only do it to the degree that you've done the other two. And
this, this you won't do overnight. You will do this in layers and over a great amount
of time in various areas of your life, but just do it more and more and more. And this
will allow you to step into more and more freedom and maturity in the Lord. So anyway,
in this owning yourself, one of the things that we want to do is we need to learn how
in this, in this process of learning to own ourselves into like claiming more and more
of ourselves. We're claiming those parts of ourselves that feel subject to other people
that are still children, right? That may have got Senate at five or at 10 or at 15. So be
gentle with yourself, be a safe place. Those are two things that mothers do be very nurturing,
right? Now things that our fathers do for us, which is something that we need to do
for ourselves and be for ourselves is we need to protect ourselves, fight for you,
protect you, um, and, uh, protect your soul, protect your body, protect your emotions,
protect your, protect what has been given to you to, um, as your first, uh, as the first
aspect of your kingdom, the first domain in your kingdom. Um, you also just like our fathers,
you need to be firm and anchor firm, not, not angry. Don't expect everything to get
out of line. And I'm just going to whip you into shape and, and I don't, don't, you know,
don't cross the line and, you know, and, and better not. And I'm watching you and I knew
none of that expect them to respond appropriately to you. That all you have to do is be definitive.
No wishy-washiness. Oh, come on. No, no, no, no. When you engage with that aspect of, uh,
when you engage with yourself doing these things, it needs to be very definitive.
That makes people feel safe. No wishy-washiness strong decisions. That's what I'm talking about
being firm. I don't mean firm isn't harsh. I mean, firm is in definitive where there's no wiggle
room. Wiggle room doesn't make anybody feel safe. The squishy washing is like, well, how are you
going to react? You know, is this okay? Sometimes I'm not okay. Other times be definitive, give,
give yourself a safe place to feel protected and to always know what to expect from.
you to always know that you're going to be consistent. You're going to be a consistent
parent. You're going to consistently protect. You're going to consistently provide. You're
going to consistently make certain things good for them, right? So be firm, be an anchor.
In other words, be solid, be dependable, be reliable, be unwavering, be these things to you.
If you say you're going to do something, do it. If you say you're going to do something for
yourself, if you're going to be something to yourself, if you say that you're going to interact
like this in a particular situation, do it. Otherwise you won't trust you. Your soul won't
trust you. Your body won't trust you. And then your body will manifest all kinds of sickness
and fear and anxiety, et cetera. Why? Because you aren't consistent and you're not dependable.
So give yourself that. Be dependable, be consistent. Okay. So also we're at the age
emotionally, and you'll probably know this, that we're at the age emotionally that we were physically
when the thing happened and we made an agreement. So you need to go back to that aspect of how old
you were then and what you made an agreement with and make a different choice coming out of
agreement. And so this, and so what you're going to have to do is you're going to have to make a
risk. You're going to have to take a risk. You're going to have to abandon the old forms of security
and safety. And you're going to have to choose new form of security. You're going to, which is
going to have to be the Lord. And what he says is true and that you're going to have and, and just
choose. Okay. He gave me, me as my first domain in my kingdom. And I need to choose that first. I need
to choose to honor that. I need to choose to claim that before I can even give all of this,
you know, that other people are requesting, or, you know, that I feel that life is demanding
them, your, whatever, I have to make this choice first. And so, and it's going to be hard because
it feels like everything is going to go to hell in a hand basket, unless you take care of it and
you abandon yourself first, you have to choose that, that, that it will be taken care of better.
And you will have what you need for this. If you choose this first, that's what I mean. You have
to choose a new form of security. Your security needs to be God said, therefore I will choose
that. And therefore I will act according to what it is. He said, I will choose me first.
And this is not a selfish thing, by the way, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm not trying
to talk about being selfish. I'm choosing owning yourself and making proactive decisions from that
place. The proactive decisions you make from that place will very often be, will be more
servant, like more loving, more serving of others than you were when you did, when you were doing
everything out of obligation. I promised you that, you know, why? Because that's the character of God
is to, is that the more that you own yourself and the more that you step into your Kingship,
the more of a servant that you are, you rule by serving, but you can't serve healthily until
you're that King first, then it's a healthy servant. And because also as a servant, you,
because you're a servant, who's the King, you have everything you need to be able to provide.
But if you're not a King first, you don't have what's needed in order to give to other people.
You don't have access to it. You don't have access to the resources. Why? Because you're just a
slave. And let's see. So you choose new form of security. You make your own choices based on what
God says to you. And then you act on what God told you and you chose in faith was your new reality.
And then, and you're doing this instead of feeling subject to others. Okay. So last thing, we're
going to talk about the practice. So this is the only practice that I have in this book that
actually gives you something specific written in here. I have done this myself. In fact, the way
that I came up with these questions is these are the questions that I asked myself. This is time
that you would spend, that you would set aside, that you would set aside and you would that you
would intentionally meet with or go back to and talk to, you know, you're the little one within
you that the child that's afraid and scared and whose growth got stunted emotionally when it got
hurt and afraid, and it came into an agreement somewhere with some lie about yourself or about
God. So the first that I recommend is just saying, Hey, little one, you know, can you believe how
you've grown up? Here's who you are, what your life looks like. So present your grown up self
to that little, to that little girl or little.
boy, you know, present yourself to them and just be like, and just be like, Hey, look,
this is who you've grown up to be.
You remember how you didn't know what life is going to look like and who you're going
to marry or what job you were going to have or what you were going to be like, or how
people were going to like you or what you're going to grow your dress and style was going
to be or whatever.
Well, this is, this is it.
These are the decisions that you've made.
These are the things that have happened.
This is how people respond to you.
This is the life you now have, and you'll be amazed when you look at yourself through
those child's eyes or your younger self's eyes, you'll be amazed at, at how much God
has done in your life.
The type of things that you always dreamed of as a kid and the dreams that you're actually
now getting to live.
And you present that to, to them, you know, is like, Hey, look, I'm you all grown up.
I'm you in the future that you didn't know.
And now I've come back to talk to you.
I've come now back to give you, now that I've lived all this life, I've come back to give
you security and comfort and permission, because I'm the only one who can give you permission.
I'm the only one who can give you permission to let go of your hurts and to heal and to
believe certain things because our parents can't give us that permission.
God gave us ourselves to give us that permission and God gives us that permission first.
Remember in our spirit, and it's now our spirit is giving ourselves that permission
to our flesh or remember our flesh, meaning like certain parts of ourselves, certain parts
of our flesh, certain parts of our emotions or whatever are stunted at five years old
or 10 years old or 15 years old or whatever.
So in the next one is little one, I'm here to give you a voice.
So what you're doing is you are giving, creating a safe place for that younger aspect of yourself
to express itself.
So little one, I'm here to give you a voice.
What do you want to tell me about what you want life to be like?
By that I'm not talking about what they want life to be like in the future, their current
situation and what they're afraid in, what life is like for them right now.
How do they want their current life back when they're five or however old you are back then?
What do you want your life right now to look like?
Not right now, where you are in the future, where you as an adult, I don't know.
Back then, go back to that time and be the adult back in that place, back in that moment
or that time in your life, whatever it is.
What do you want your life to be like?
Because of the child doesn't get to say, I don't, you know, very much.
I don't like this.
I want life to be like this.
Mommy and daddy, I want you to get along and mommy and daddy, I want you to do this.
And daddy, I want your, you know, your attention.
Or I'm just trying to remember things, you know, that have, that have wounded people
as children.
Right.
You know, mommy, I wanted you to do this or mommy, why won't you, you know, do this or
granddaddy or, or, or, you know, uncle or sibling or God, or, you know, it's going to
school teacher or, you know, whatever, let them express what they want life to be like,
like really and truly from a healthy place.
What need do they have that they're just crying out for, you know, who, who do they want attention
from and who do they just want to know?
You know, I just want to just be able to play in the same room with you without having to
go to another room to play, you know, or, or whatever, you know?
And so you ask him, you know, what do you want to tell me?
I'm giving you a voice.
What do you want to tell me about what you want life to be like?
What is happening in your life right now?
What is your life like?
What are you thinking?
How, how are you thinking about things?
You know, what are things, thoughts that are going through your head?
The good, the bad, and the ugly.
Let them be honest.
Remember, this is all about owning yourself.
You can't own yourself until you go back into these times and own what it is that you thought
and you felt and allowing just like last time, what we were talking about, knowing who you
are.
So how are you feeling right now?
You know, how are you feeling?
And what do you believe you're like?
How do you think about yourself?
You know, what kind of a person do you think that you are?
What do you believe you're really like as a person?
You believe you're good?
Do you believe you're evil?
Do you believe you're always bad?
You know, whatever.
And then ride all of that.
So I recommend for this, not doing bullet points.
You can, if you want.
Well, I say that I'm trying to remember.
No, I did do bullet points because what I did was I just kind of, I used to do whatever
you want, ride it out.
And you can do it the same way that you're doing conversations with God, where you write
one where you write what I forgot.
No, no, no.
That is what I did.
I did it the same way I did conversations with God.
I wrote, and this was very helpful.
So I do recommend this.
write out what you're asking the child, like as if your way of communicating with them is,
as is only if you write it down. So write it down and that is how they know what you're saying.
And then have, and then do the same thing with them. Have the child within you, you know, respond
by writing out what it is that they, that you really are thinking. So that will help you connect
with it a bit more. So usually I say to do the, you can do either or for this, definitely write
it out. I forgot that that was very helpful. And, and, okay, so, so do that. And so like you do with
your conversations with God and actually write it out. And then the next one is little one, what
this one here, little one, what do you wish for instead? What do you wish your life was like
instead? And what do you, and this is very important. What do you want me to be for you?
Because they wanted things from their dad. They wanted things from your mom, but you are now
offering to be anything they need. You were telling them, I will provide for you. I will
protect you. I will be a safe place where I will be the parent you wanted to have. I will interact
with you in the way you wanted people to interact with you. What do you want from me? And then you're
going to be that to them. And then the last one right here, little one, I'm so sorry for how I've
treated you. Because think about it. There's ways in which you have hated that little boy or that
little girl. There's ways that you have hated or, or resented that part of you or you, when you were
younger or you, when you did that or whatever. And so repent of that. You're not just apologizing.
You're repenting. You're saying, I'm no longer going to do that. I'm going to do the opposite.
I'm going to do whatever the Lord says to do. So here are the things I repent of to you and God
about. Here are the things I repent to you and God about and what I want to give and now be for you.
This will heal those parts of yourself because they will no longer feel rejected by you. And
they'll be allowed. There will finally be a parent, an adult, an authority. That's what I'm really
trying to say. An authority that is, is giving them permission to grow and is giving them
permission to heal. And then they'll choose to heal. It is wild. And it will happen like that.
It will happen so fast. It's amazing. Sometimes it'll happen. It'll, you should feel, you know,
some aspect of healing immediately, but definitely over the next few days.
Um, so, uh, anyway, that's what I would recommend. If you'll have any questions,
um, let me know. And then I love this last one. If God really is who he says that he is,
what kind of life do I choose to create? Because that is the foundation of us creating a life.
If God really is as good as he says he is, if he really is that good, if you're really is that
kind, if you really is that protective and providing for me, you know, who do, what kind
of a life would I choose to create? If that was my reality. So anyway, I have loved this program
with y'all. I hope that it's been very helpful. Um, I hope that it has. And I know that obviously
it's been, as we've been discussing that y'all have experienced huge, huge, major breakthroughs
in the way that I wanted. And I am so very grateful for that. Um, and so we have one more
time to be, uh, to get together and on Monday, we will definitely have that on Monday. I checked
and I moved my doctor's appointment. Um, so, um, I will see y'all at the usual time. And, um,
if y'all have any questions about all of this, um, mention those in the group chat or, um, you know,
and then, and then we'll also talk, be talking about stuff on Monday that I can answer questions
in the meantime as well. Um, and yeah, so just remember that all of the things that I included
in this are very foundational to just getting breakthrough. I hope none of it sounded complex.
I always just try to let people know, Hey, look, this, these are the things that will definitively
work. Um, but, uh, but I try and they're very simple, but I try to break them out and flush
them out as much as possible to help, you know, how to apply them to answer all of the questions
that you might present of like, yeah, but how does that fit in with dah, dah, dah, dah, dah.
So that's why it takes a while for me to explain everything, but everything is very simple.
Just look at all it just look at the table of contents, wherever that is.
You know that they're very simple, I've even even, I didn't even have to break them out as many into as many sessions as I did, but I wanted to give time to each one of these to really fully explain things, and so that they would be very so that you would
really know how to actually grab ahold of them and apply them.
So, just remember that everything always in your in your breakthrough of any future breakthroughs.
Everything always always always comes back to one thing faith, believing that God is who he says that he is, and that I am who God says that I am.
I promise you, everything only goes back to those two questions. And then of course you know we broke it out into what does God expected me, therefore, therefore because these things, what is God expected me, and then you know, right versus righteous,
you know there's the difference between quote unquote doing the right thing when are really all God wants us to do is to just be who we are, which is righteous, very effortless, and we need to learn to be me with God just be who it is that you are
and be that while you're with him don't, don't, don't deny yourself and then not be yourself and then not do that with it or do it and avoid the Lord.
Be fully yourself authentically yourself remember honesty with vulnerability in God's presence, and then know yourself, and that will teach you things about the Lord because who it is that you really are is not only born of him but carries him carries
his character carries his DNA. So when you know get to know yourself you get to know aspects of the Lord and expressions of him. And then if the last thing is important to own yourself.
And then that will be able that all of those things will help you get a breakthrough and get breakthrough and get unstuck.
So, anyway, love you all, and I will see you on Monday.