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Yo!
Hello, I'm here with
Alana today. So for those of you who don't know
my beautiful wife, this is Alana. Hi!
Welcome as well to
The 7 Sacred Pathways to Intimacy Part 4. Ta-da! We've got the whiteboard
mapped out for you, but in this video the best thing that we've got is we've got some, yeah
We've got some great
I've got a great assistant. Actually, she's more like the boss, but not just that we have got some great material
Joanna, my cousin Joanna's on, yeah, yeah
Edward, hey, good to see you guys. Now when you jump on what is always awesome is
Just give me a thumbs up or say yes, I can hear you I can see you just comment and say yep
It's going good. So we know that the audio is going well
you can hear us and
that's why we want to make sure we want to make sure the tech stuff is good and then we are going to launch into
this and
We're going to be talking today about the big three
those are the big three
The biggest three reasons why couples divorce which is
For financial reasons directional reasons and sexual reasons and so we're going to do an overview on this stuff as well
I'm going to pray and then we'll start some story time now as we go as we go
we would love we'll try to answer some questions for you guys as well. So if you've got a
Particular question that you want to ask Alana because I'm on here live in the embassy
Often, but if you want to get some the truth, yeah
Totally if you want to get the truth if you want to go and ask us a specific question about our relationship
Anything we'll give our best shot at answering it. So feel free to ask any awkward questions
There you go, you can you can jam those down it's gonna be great so I'm gonna pray and
And then we're going to get into it but
Trinity we thank you
So much for your pattern that you've given us the blueprint that you've given us for divine
romance and
we just ask right now that this
Explosion of divine love would begin to go off in the hearts of single people and
couples that an explosion of your
Divine love this radical supernatural love would explode inside of us and that that
That divine love would become
Infectious on the inside of us and that would flood our marriages and our relationships and this time together. Amen
Yee-haw, righto guys
If you have been following us in this series on the seven sacred pathways
I just want you to tag and say yep
I've been following and if you've caught one of the sessions part one part two part three
and just type that and what what have you seen so far and
Just chuck in the comments as well. If you're interested, we'd love feedback. So check in the comments. What's been
Valuable so far Mike great to see you
Hi, Karen
Seeing a bunch of you awesome peeps out there. We've got Karen Femi my man Lisa storm
Edward Joanna great to see you guys
all right, so
we should
If a question comes in well, hey Sarah good to see you too
Question comes in we'll do our best to read it on the phone. It's a little bit like a hell
So, yeah, very cool
We
Might just we might just start with a good question and
Ask you guys this question as well
what
What for you love to hear this about you and if you're single
What is and you and you want to get married what for you is the big appeal?
What do you think is the most exciting thing about being married if you're already married, what's the what's the juiciest part?
What's the best part about it? And I'm gonna ask Lana the same thing and then
She can ask me the same thing back sweet so
babe
What's what's the best thing about your marriage?
I have to tell you the truth
Yeah, so what's for you? What's the best thing about marriage the highlight the sweet spot?
I think it's always having someone who's on your side and regardless of what you're going through. You're never going through anything alone
I think for me that's probably the big thing. That and you being an egg. There's never a dull moment.
Excellent, right. So if you've got, as well, if you've got a question. Hey Anna, good to see you.
Kiri, Joy, good to see you guys. If you've got a question that you want one of us to ask the other
then let us know as well. Trevor, good to see you my buddy. Righto babe, your turn.
What's the best thing about being married to me? Oh, best thing. So apart from, you know,
like friends with benefits. Actually she doesn't like me calling her a friend because she's like
I'm way more than just a friend. So best thing about being married to you.
I love, to be honest, I love that it's a journey, you know, it's a dynamic journey
and I love. I'm so thankful it's been ever-changing.
Yeah, well I, and,
uh, what's the, it's, you know, it's, it's the goodness of it but the sense as well that we're
on this great journey and it's getting better and better and there's like, where there's this
momentum. I just love that sense of momentum on our relationship that we're dreaming together,
we're ticking off boxes, we're going on adventures together. Something that I think's amazing, oh,
Ness, good to see you. Yes, totally, benefits to it. Sometimes, we'll talk about that.
So I think that for me, this, it's a sense of being on an adventure together, a sense of going
places together and something that I love about Alana that's flipping amazing is she says yes so
often. Um, let me know if you've got a partner that says yes or a partner that says no, uh, to,
to your ideas, your crazy ideas. Like, I have crazy ideas a lot and so sometimes, like,
like every week, I have crazy ideas, right? Every day. Every day, yes, every day. Can you
tell these guys one of the craziest ideas I've ever had that you've just said, nah, that's ridiculous?
I don't even know. There's so many. Yeah, there's a lot. Usually, I'm his reality check.
He's like, babe, I've got this idea and I'm like, uh, have you thought about this? Have you thought
about that? That's so unrealistic. Yeah, but the funny thing to me is that, um, she says yes
to some crazy as stuff. Like when we've run conferences, we've run conferences multiple
times where, um, I had to say, we've had to together to say a big yes to Jesus because the
conference is going to cost a stack load of money, more money than we have. And we have to say this
big faith yes. And we're like, babe, uh, we've got to risk $50,000 on running this conference.
And she just says, yeah. Or the cool crazy one right now that this is, this is one of the things
that I just love about her is she says yes, is that on the 20th of December, we're literally
leaving our, like our whole world. And we start driving and we've got no idea where we're going.
And I'm like, babe, what do you think about this? And she's like, yes. Uh, Curry's always saying
yes to Jesus is crazy ideas. So anyway, I love that. She's a yes lady. And I love that. Um,
in our relationship, there's momentum and there's so many dreams that are a part of our
conversation. And I think we just talk about dreaming all the time and we work as a team
together. So we're constantly hustling and working together and, um, and just working on that balance
of how we can help bring these dreams that we have, uh, together. So working like working as a team,
that's something that I love. Yeah. That's something I love about us. That's like the
classic snapshot. I'm just like, here's my sentence. And Benji's like, here's my story.
Totally. Um, so babe, then why don't you, uh, introduce the big three for people,
um, which we've talked about a little bit, but for those who haven't been on the journey,
introduce the big three. So the big three, uh, makers or breakers in a relationship are financial.
So obviously money side of things, um, directional where you live. On that note, I just saw on
YouTube. I don't know if you'd be watching it, but it popped up on my screen. So she probably
has been. Um, but there's a show called till debt do us part. Yeah. So till debt do us part. So
that's a big break. Um, directional where you live, where you're going, uh, all of that kind
of thing. And then sexual activities. Sexual. Very nice. Very nice. There's the benefits or
no benefits depending on how things are going. So.
Backstory, we're going to do some backstory. Hey Yvonne, ah ha ha ha, nice to see you.
Kev, good to see you, my man. Charlene, hello, hello. Yvonne, hi.
So, I thought what we'd do now is I've done a bit of our backstory by myself but I thought now we'll just
Get the truth now.
Yeah, yeah, I'll do a reality check, so I'll get Alana in to help you guys with seeing more of our story,
Seeing where the pressure was coming on and I want to like share with you about our greatest pressure points
In our marriage, which are totally the big three but there's always reasons behind the big three.
So I want to share with you guys some of the backstory, some of the reasons behind our big three
And also our most awkward conversation. So that's where we're going to go, that's one of the things we're going to talk about
Our most awkward conversation and I'd love to hear from you guys, what are your most awkward conversations?
I see Monica, yeah totally. So what's in your relationship, what's your most awkward conversation
Or most painful, most pressurised conversation that you have, like not just one time but it's that conversation
That happens over and over and over again. I'd love to know what that is for you.
Majority of the time they fit in under the big three somewhere.
So, we're going to go back in time, I think people like a backstory, so we're going to go back in time
And some of our stories are funny and some of our stories are not funny, it's like ouch, that's a lot of pain
And so we'll just see what happens. But these seven sacred pathways are represented here
We've got them represented in this little diagram for you
So there's spiritual as number one, and then emotional number two, intellectual number three
We've got sensual as number four, and then financial and directional and sexual as number seven
So all of those things play a massive part on how much pressure is on your relationship
And each of those areas put a huge amount of momentum either towards connection or towards disconnection
And I think you guys can relate to this, you can relate to the fact that if there's pressure in your marriage
Towards disconnection, this person that you love can be the most awkward and difficult relationship in your life
And I think I just want to start saying that as well as a covering statement
Is that our marriage has been flipping sweet, there's been so many good things that we've done
Our kids are amazing, our health has been relatively fantastic
We've been on crazy adventures all around the world together
We get to take our family travelling all around the world
We have had so much sweetness and so much fun and just constant adventure
And so many dreams and good things happening and coming true
So I just want to make a covering statement that our marriage has been amazing
Oh I see a bit of action coming in here
Actually a bit of all three
You jostle till it's running well
Boom, very good, Jesus is the centre, that helps, yep totally
Curry used to be the holidays
I love Nessa's comment, that's hilarious
I love what you've done there
Hey Fee, Carla, good to see you guys
So I'd say for us it's probably been 90-95% good
But there's been that 5-10% where we've been stuck
And that 5-10% has caused a disproportionate amount of pain
That's right and that's why we have here the stress silo
Which is like a nuclear thing
So we're going to talk about the stress silo as well
So babe when we got married, what was the most difficult thing about being married to a long haired weirdo?
Where do I start?
Way longer hair
I think for me the initial pain was, I was in TR now
I'd come down here for a gap year
I expected to leave
I thought I knew what I was getting myself into
And then we got married
And the reality hit of, I'm in Te Anau, I don't have any friends, my family's not here, I'm on my own.
That's the big D, that's directional for you.
And as time progressed, I realised more and more I didn't want to be here.
Okay, which is awkward because I was feeling 100% that we were supposed to be here.
Like 100%, 100%.
Hey Z, good to see you.
So Alana's like, I want to be near my friends and my family.
And she's got a huge network of friends and family,
and none of them of her organic network were actually here, apart from me.
So I was like the ball in her chain, you know.
So that was a big one for us.
How many times do you think we had awkward, painful conversations about that,
where you were crying and I was left there, powerless to do anything?
I don't even know. A lot. Multiple times a week.
A lot of times where it's like...
So, give you a bit of an idea about Te Anau, like how much Te Anau meant for me.
From the time I was 17, I directed all of my passion and energy towards living here.
That was my dream. From the time I was 17, God spoke to me really clearly about Fiordland and being here.
And so I was like, boom. I did all my training around that.
I did all my dreaming around that.
I invested myself 100% in being here in Fiordland and...
Then you married me.
I married her, and I was so, so happy to be here,
because I'd been working towards it for eight years.
I'm like, yes, finally I get to be here.
Within 18 months of me actually being here, we were married.
And then I'm like, yes, I'm finally here.
And she was like...
And I think that fed into my tension,
because I knew that this was the only place he wanted to be,
and that God had called him here.
And almost, who was I to oppose that?
Oh, so I got some really good advice.
And I think I've shared this before, if you followed along all of it.
Oh, Monica.
Yep, she can relate to being separated from fam.
Is that...
To me, this was my dream of dreams.
And...
Thanks. See that there still?
So this was my dream of dreams.
And I felt like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna have to sacrifice that to keep Alana...
Because I wanted to. Not because I was like,
oh, Alana, I wasn't bummed out about that.
I was just like, she's not trying to make a problem.
This is just the reality of her heart.
She's just being real.
And so, I had this massive, deep,
and not very often tearful,
but I was right in the deepest part of me, conversation with God.
And I was like, okay, God, I'll lay it down.
Because I had a conversation with someone once who said,
God can get anyone to be a pastor.
He can get anyone to be a revivalist.
He can get anyone to do what I'm doing.
But he can't get anyone else to be a husband to my wife.
And he can't get anyone else to be a father to my kids.
So I was like, babe, I want to prioritize you.
And I want you to always know that of all the dreams that I've got,
you're the priority.
And so you've got the trump card.
The moment you say we have to shut things down,
even though I couldn't, I really couldn't rationalize or conceive
how we could even do that, you know?
Because I was so fully invested in what we're doing.
But I was like, you're the trump card.
You're the priority card.
You're my number one dream.
And so I put that to her.
And how was that when I made that really, really clear?
It did really help, actually, that he kind of finally understood what it was.
But at the same time, it would take something pretty serious in a way
for me to be like, okay, I'm done.
Let's go, knowing that this is where you wanted to be.
Yeah.
So I just prayed a lot, like, God, can we leave?
Yeah, so she always said, we won't go unless God says.
So yeah, so that was a big deal.
And now God has said.
Yeah, so anyway, he said go.
He hasn't told us where to go, so who knows?
We don't know much at all about our future.
So that's why that was an easy yes for me.
Yeah, so for us right now in our marriage right now,
that pressure that we've had for nearly 10 years is no longer there.
So since that decision was made, we haven't had one teary conversation about that.
Instead, those teary conversations have been replaced with this crazy sense of adventure.
Like, oh my gosh, where are our lives going?
This is crazy!
And I think on that, I kind of resigned myself to the fact that I was here
and I was okay with it.
And, you know, I was starting to feel a little bit more comfortable.
to develop friends and having kids in school and that kind of thing helped but I didn't realise
how deep that tension still ran until like Benji, until it lifted and you noticed a big change eh?
Yeah totally. I noticed a massive change. More humping. What? Um and just like being relaxed in
every area and like how I relate to the kids, how I relate to Benji, just being more calm in general.
Yeah yeah totally so that removing that pressure because this this over here the directional that
was putting a huge amount of pressure on our relationship. But I didn't even realise how
much pressure that was putting on me on every single area. Totally. And like when it's pushing
in here that circle is pushing in on everything. Yeah totally so um we we looked at uh in part
three last week so you just excuse the look it's like part three last week looked at spiritual,
emotional, intellectual, how they all jive together and spiritual by far I think is the
biggest deal on this. So this is this is where some of our this is probably to be honest I think
this um is actually our hardest our hardest challenge. I think it's always the root. Yeah.
Everything else. I totally totally agree so if you didn't get to check out part three check that
out because the spiritual dynamic of how that influences your life because it shapes your
identity and your like your identity shapes your state of being it dictates your emotions and your
emotions uh dictate so much so just your spiritual dynamic is just crazy. So if I just go back in
time we'll share some of this because this is this is going to go into actually the most painful part
of our journey where we've I think we've cried we've shared the most pain and put the most effort
for challenging you know results is in the spiritual area um because before we met how
about you just talk about just the kind of seer dynamic of your life like from being a kid. So
right from young um people would walk into a room or I would go somewhere and I would see kind of
like pictures over them with my eyes open and know stuff about them that I shouldn't know and
that kind of thing which was really out of the normal for me because I've grown up in a very
religious background and so I knew that I wasn't like everyone else in that respect but um from
that kind of keeping that to myself and then going through into um experiencing other forms of
Christianity um I think that just really blossomed me into seeing stuff feeling stuff all the time.
I don't know you can probably explain it better than I can. Okay like a couple of a couple thoughts
it would be nothing for Alana to walk into a room and prophesy over every single person who was there
effortlessly like organically just prophesy uh like she was reading the newspaper over every
person in a room or be the person that is like open you're like with the eyes open going oh the
angels are over here and there's demons all over here and um and like hearing audible sounds of
things in the spiritual realm so the spiritual yeah just I suppose open-eyed visions in a way
yeah totally so Alana for this for Alana which is crazy because she grew up in a dutch reformed
church where like the supernatural was shut down like crazy but there she is as a kid just walking
like a seer and that's the that's the chick that I uh I always knew and related to is this chick who
was like basically like a seer and I was like oh my gosh who's this hardcore chick maybe one day
I can be like her like she's like a spiritual ninja to me yeah um so then um so I was involved
working in a ministry and um while I was there a lot of crazy things happened and definitely got
emotionally burnt out physically burnt out from working like six to seven days a week from 6 a.m
in the morning till 11 p.m at night um spiritually abused working with um very authoritative men
and me being young um immature in a way female how old were you when you started that I was started
probably 17 18 um and left when I was 22 I think to come down here 21 22 um and yeah so when I by
the time I was finished with that ministry I was done done um just at the bottom of of every tank
into the negative bottom of the barrel and knew that my capacity was to sit and watch birds out
the window which was part of the reason I came here was to escape the pressures of having to
get a job going to the church because I still live with my parents that was the
expectation all those types of pressures because I knew my capacity was to sit on
the couch and watch birds out the window. Which was crazy for me because when she
was in her ministry role which is you know I knew her for years when she's in
that ministry role she was just a ninja leading hundreds of kids to Jesus you
know just all that supernatural stuff going on and just a like an absolute
superstar and hundreds of people were like and she led this amazing tribe of
people she was like one of the key catalytic charismatic leaders of that
whole thing and it's like the relationships that were forged back in
those days like over a decade ago they're still tight you know like we
would still die for each other those relationships like if we turn up and see
each other people in those relationships and of the ministry that she was leading
it's just like whoa it was that it was next level yeah so what I don't think
you fully realize like there was a few I was hanging on by a few strings and then
when I left I just crashed yeah it was kind of almost like a bouncing crash in
terms of how things happen so so we're getting together in this time that I was
not really fully realizing the extent of how bad she was. Don't mind you. Yeah totally we're both kind of like
waking up to the devastation of the of the impact of that really like traumatic
season that you went through and so I guess I might have shared about this
among the other ones but there was a moment there we've had our honeymoon
we're back at our house it's kind of maybe a couple of weeks into our
marriage and I walk into the I walk into the lounge and Lana you know the
superstar rock star ministry leader chick is just sitting on the couch
crying like just like like what's going on she was like just looking depressed
and for me I'm like if you're a husband and your wife looks depressed the only
rational conclusion is that you're a total loser yeah you've got to fix this
because obviously you know like this you're married to this lady and
anyway it was really confusing it was really intense and yeah like Lana's
saying I was like oh we better fix this and so my scenario for her to so give a
little bit more of the story as well as all of that rock star supernatural
dynamic the seer gift that she'd walked in in her whole life and you know that
seer gift it wasn't just about what she was seeing it was an effortless intimacy
it was just an effortless organic natural intimacy that she walked in with
God that I was so jealous of it I was like oh my gosh that's amazing she just
effortlessly organically walked in it without even anyone ever talking to her
about it was just who she was always it was just like you know for her it was as
natural as having an arm you know that dynamic of her and slowly what started
to happen is we started to realize that that dynamic that that whole thing had
been crushed to pretty much to death so so that's where she is like that
superstar rock star chick has been through so much trauma in the context of
the ministry that boom it's like it's it was kind of like a death blow was dealt
but it's slowly it was like an animal and like an animal kind of getting shot
and like staggering away and slowly like eventually kind of bleeding out and then
just one day collapsing in the moment that I I walked into the lounge that day
and it was kind of almost like the moment that I realized like she was like
she just kind of collapsed on the couch I was like oh I see him so then I'm like
oh my gosh we're gonna fix this my brilliant idea was babe right let's let's
just start praying in tongues right now so I'm kind of like yeah this is gonna
work right now like come on baby let's just like let's just press through this
let's just like watch I let's get a breakthrough anointing on wow come on I
cool down I know my she kiara no matter and I'm like holding her on the couch
I'm like yeah let's cool it up my she kiara no matter. If I had the energy I would have punched him in the face. I just look over and she just looks at me and just starts crying and it was at that moment it was at that moment
suddenly I had this realization that my idea wasn't quite working out how I planned
yeah I didn't fully understand that to be honest I was like what's going on I
couldn't couldn't get my head around you not being the rock star that
I'd marry, you know, because in my head I just married a rock star and I came out of like,
it's like going back backstage and finding out they were lip-syncing.
It wasn't like that, it was just like, oh my gosh, and I had no idea how to process
what was happening. I didn't either, I had no idea what was going on. I was looking back
at who I was to where I was now and not understanding what had happened to get me
to where I am. That took years of unravelling to be able to label things in a way to understand.
Yeah, and I panicked. I panicked and I just, I just went into prayer and fasting, like
prayer and fasting was where it was at for me for, for years, just trying to
save Alana. You know, like trying to, trying to rescue Alana, trying to, like out of love,
trying to help her, but I'm like, oh my gosh, what? Like, I didn't know what to do with a
broken, I don't know what to do with a broken wife. When your capacity is greatly reduced,
and you know, especially in the spiritual, when that capacity is low, there's no capacity to
hold anything else. So things like being here in Te Anau were far more devastating to me than if
spiritually I was full. Rockstar levels. Yeah. You were gone from rockstar levels to like...
Wim. I know. It's not pretty. So, so boom, on that side of things, so spiritually,
she's like wiped out and I'm panicking, not knowing how to fix my broken wife.
Emotionally as well, where were you at, like, emotionally? I don't think I had any emotional
capacity because I was just trying to get myself through the day. Yeah. So pretty much. It's not
that I didn't even care about you. I just had no space. Yeah. But if we met, if we met you,
where you were then now, we would probably just have diagnosed you as depressed. Oh, heck yeah.
Yeah. Uh oh, here I am trying to be a spiritual ninja revivalist and my wife is depressed. And
as a husband, when something's going down with your wife, like so much of it, you...
And then to add a pressure, I'm married to Benji. Woo! Yes! Spiritual watcher! Watcher! Watcher!
Everybody expects me to be in the same kind of space. Mystical Trinitarian revivalist! Watcher!
Come on. Yeah. So spiritually, she's wiped out. Emotionally, she's wiped out.
We, and here's something that I want to ask you guys. Where is your biggest winning area? You
know, like, because this, these are some of our real tough conversations, tough areas, but where
for you in your relationship is your Trump, like where's your Trump card? What's your strong suit
in these areas? Where is it that you're just like, you are crushing it, like you're a billionaire or
you're like, I'm essential, you're like a masseuse. Or, you know, where is the strong suit for you
in your relationship where you're like, you nail it? So for us, the thing that really, honestly,
we were talking about this the other day, eh? Like, how much impact do you think the intellectual
emotion... I think the intellectual saved us because we had really good tools for communication
and we had, we just had really good tools for relationships through the work that we've done.
And we really invested ourselves into that before. And I think that because we had that,
it stopped every tank from being empty. And that kind of was our crutch that carried us through.
And I honestly think if we didn't, if we didn't have that, we wouldn't be sitting here nearly 10
years later. Yeah. If we couldn't communicate, which there were definitely times when we
struggled to communicate, but we were always open to communication, we definitely would have just
failed. And I'll just chuck something else in there about our relationship and just about who
we are as people, is that we've got this radical sense of adventure. And even when Alana... We could distract ourselves.
Distract ourselves from it. Totally. So even when we were like, Alana's burnt out, emotionally wiped out,
we've got this, we've always had this radical sense of adventure. So it's like, babe,
let's go to Africa! Not fully understanding at the time what that meant. It was like, let's go to Africa
for three months and then, and then let's go to Thailand and then let's go to another part of
Africa. Let's just, let's go for these adventures and let's, let's go hunting, let's climb a mountain,
let's go fishing in Milford. And I do think my sense of adventure, like my capability to express joy and
happiness was greatly reduced, but that... This is your happy place, right? Yeah. Totally. Yeah. So in the midst of
all these things, we're still like...
There's still some serious winning going down, and we're still having great adventures, so that's really, really helping
It's helping us get some good experience
We never took antidepressants or anything, but the sense of adventure was probably the thing that
I probably would have been prescribed them if I'd
Yeah, if you'd gone to a doctor, but we were too scared to do that
It just wasn't on our radar
Yeah, it wasn't on our radar
It was more energy than I had to express
Totally, so intellectual boom, that was a saver, but that was dry
So for me in that time as well, really, really working through orphan mindsets
and a sense of disconnection with God, and a sense of inadequacy
and constant performance-based acceptance
and honestly, guys, get some, like, I want to do a plug for the School of Sonship
Get Sonship training in your life, because it can destroy all the orphan stuff, which is just crazy
Which, maybe I'll talk about that now as well
So this is a crazy, ridiculous dynamic, because we're still on this journey
I'll come back to that, so let me ask you about sensual
Where were things at sensually in our relationship?
Zero
What do you mean? I'm all about touch
I'm a touchy guy, how could you be at sensual? How could that be low, when I'm so touchy?
Because for us, for Benji, the only touch that existed was sexual touch
So if I was to hold his hand
Yeah, let's do that
Like this, or put my hand on his shoulder, rub his back, whatever
That was permission for sex
That was it, that was permission
It wasn't just that it was permission, it was just that I knew what that meant
I was like, I have these certain set of skills, and I could interpret what that meant
Well that's what I thought I could do, I thought I could interpret what that meant
But actually, I found out later that my radar was way off, and that's not what should be happening
So for me, the sensual was what should have been safe touch, touch that didn't need to lead anywhere
Touch just for like, because you're my husband, I can put my hand on your leg, that doesn't need to go anywhere
I was thinking it should
And you know, it's like massages and cuddles and things like that, that they're just purely sensual
So that, for Benji, meant that there was, and for me, that there was just no touch at all
Not completely
Pretty much
It was like, Alana had this secret code that I could never interpret
And some days, it was like, woohoo, and I'm like, yes, totally
And then other days, I thought I was doing everything right, and it wasn't working in terms of getting me sex
And it would mean I would read into everything, like I would have a cuddle, like Benji would give me a cuddle when he comes home
And I'd be like, hang on, what do you want?
I'm just trying to be sensual
Actually, I didn't really know too much about the sensual dynamic
Yeah, that was an area that was just, we had no idea about at all
Yeah
Didn't exist
How about financial, what was the pressure like for you there?
Come on, like
We had no finances
Surely I was like, I was working hard, wasn't I bringing in the moolah, making you happy with the money?
So, I would hate to calculate how many hours Benji has worked in the last 10 years
Because he's probably worked 80 hours a week on average
Maybe, maybe 70
70 hours a week on average
Or maybe 65, maybe 65
A lot, a lot of hours
And for the first, it wasn't until we had Esra, so we would have been married, what, 3 years?
That I put my foot down to try and get some kind of income
Because, here's the thing, I was chasing a dream
And had this big sense of adventure and this big faith dynamic
I'm like, God's going to provide, and he did, he did provide
We never went hungry, like groceries would turn up on our doorstep
It was a real time of miraculous provision
But that doesn't make the finances any easier when you've got bills
Yeah
And Benji's not earning anything, I'm too stuffed to earn anything
I did have a part time job, sometimes that would kind of like help get us through
But there was no finances to speak of
Yeah, but we had a credit card which had, the limit on the credit card was way too big
We've changed that
I just wanted to chop it up
But, yeah, when you've got $2000 plus down on the credit card
And you're like, ahhhh
Because, I was working as a full time volunteer
Doing ministry stuff, trusting God, awesome adventure
And we were in debt on our needs, like our basic needs
Yeah, but that was really, really killing us financially
So that was a huge, huge pressure
and then directional we've already talked about that and so babe with all of this awesome world
that I've helped you create how sexy did you normally feel on one to ten?
Minus 10. Minus 10 so you're at minus 10 sexiness. I think I had no capacity because I was trying to
get myself through the day I've got no capacity to give anything to keep you going too. I got
that was beyond like his needs were beyond my comprehension. Yeah totally so
so that's hopefully for you guys it's just helping create a bit of a picture
so then this on this diagram we've got external pressures as well for all the other different
external types of things that you you've got going on for me spiritually I had those
orphan paradigms but I was making real like crazy progress in my life my spiritual journey
was going through the roof it was exploding like so much was happening with God it was crazy
um still still is like this it's like this crazy God eventually glory to glory on steroids and we're
seeing miracles and here's the craziest thing right here's the craziest thing because we didn't
just sit back and go oh well stuff God we're like we're abandoning you God that's it you don't
have us no we did we went uh like over time on working trying to find traveled the world trying
to find solutions for seeing everybody we thought we could possibly see to get prayed for and
counseled and to try and resurrect this dynamic it was like just like it was like Alana's arm
had been cut off you know all her legs had been cut off with this well it was my life supply yeah
it was totally like your spiritual is what's going to breathe life into the emotional and we always
knew that the core thing behind the emotional uh you know depletion and that emotional pain
was the fact that the spiritual dynamic had just like it's like it's just gone you know like your
legs have been cut off so bizarre and like and all around us we're praying for people for what I
want and they're getting it they're getting it so easy it's crazy all right so we're still on this
journey right I have I have no idea how many people we've seen this breakthrough for and we haven't
yet uh seen it for Alana we're still literally like limping you know like struggling for Alana
not because we want to not because of lack of effort not because of even not necessarily even
terrible like bad theology like we've got good mindsets and good theology around this it's just
something crazy weird bizarre that we don't understand and to me this is probably one of
them like it's easier for me to talk to you about sex and tell you about a sex life than it is for
me to talk to you about this because in my world right like the people that I hang out with and the
places that I get to go and speak like there's spiritual ninjas and giants all over the place
and it's so like it's so bizarre to me it's like oh my gosh I can't believe it you know
we're getting invited to go and speak and travel and do all these awesome things and see all these
breakthroughs for so many people and then at home it's like my hand is broken you know like okay
you know like we're not getting it and we totally trust God in in this journey you know like there's
so much happening that's of value we definitely don't understand why it's the way it is but it
is the way it is and we always you know keep on pressing so but this is definitely for me
uh the hardest thing to process in our lives is that this lady who used to be just so much of a
of a seer open eyes seeing angels hearing audible supernatural things effortlessly walking in intimacy
we're still we're still processing this and working this out I'll definitely say that
we're making we've definitely made progress and we've gone like crazy I know so many people we've
had pray for us and deep like counseling sessions like guys this is where it's at like help us
we've had deliverance ministries come out in the name of Jesus and we have you might not have been
able to remember all of them but I can tell you some of the people and part of this was my memory
is completely shot yeah but you know we go to uh spend nearly three months in Africa with Ron and
Heidi Baker and we're like best mates with Nancy Cohen and hang out with so many other amazing like
Norm and Matt and all these other spiritual ninjas and that that we're hanging out with all the time
and getting Dave Riddell for my birthday yeah so anyway so still this is still for us the
biggest pressurized area but I wouldn't say would you say it's pressurized at the moment
would you say it's just like something we're like
I would just say it's a flat spot on our wheel that, you know, as it's turning, it's kind of kudunk, kudunk, but the pain, I don't feel like there's any pain in it anymore.
No, so it's not like we've made no progress, it's been huge progress from where we were to where we are now.
We just haven't had the breakthrough that we're looking for.
Not yet to the degree, so we're still after that, still hustling for that, but I'm confident that when this comes, like, be, like, watch out,
because when she gets her, like, SIA gift back and that whole thing, like, cracks open like crazy, you better, like, watch out for this lady, she's crazy.
Um, so, for me, emotions, had some rejection, little bit of rejection stuff, not too much, probably got worse since we've been married.
Because if there's anybody that can push his buttons and bring out any of his issues, it's me.
So, if he has a small rejection button when we get married, anything that I do that he perceives as pushing that button is going to pressurise him far more than it ever has before.
So, I thought he, I think he thought he worked on his rejection stuff until we got married.
Yep, totes, totes.
And then this happened a few times.
Yeah, so, this is the stress silo, and so we don't just have these seven pathways to navigate in our relationships and to watch out for in our relationships.
We've also got all these external pressures, so kids, lack of sleep, health, family and friends, or, you know, just all these other crazy dynamics.
And on that, those could come between us and divide us, or they could come around us and we could face them together.
Something that was like a cool system for us that we've really worked hard on, and sometimes it's been really hard to do this when we've felt this pressure, or when we've been in the middle of an awkward conversation and we feel it kind of tearing us apart,
is we've worked really, really hard to face everything together, you know, so that the issues aren't inside.
We always work hard to make sure that the pressures are external rather than internal, and stand back to back and work through them together.
So, let me just kind of summarize this picture. So Alana's totally burnt out, I've got some orphan issues, she's like spiritually burnt out, emotionally burnt out, plus I'm kind of freaking out that she's so burnt out.
Intellectually is our strong suit, so we've got good communication styles, and that was something that if you're not married yet, or even if you are, you can get the easiest win out of this area.
This is the easiest area to win because you can just read a book. That's so much easier to get that type of breakthrough in the intellectual area. Read a book, go to a course, do some training, get Keep Your Love On by Danny Silk, read the book, do the audio book, do workbooks, whatever.
Get those skills down. Danny Silk is a genius, so get those Keep Your Love On skills down, communication, boundary settings, healthy relationships, and then if you don't know Dave Riddell, who's a real legend in our nation, he's got some banging tips for you in your relationships.
So we'll talk about how Dave Riddell really helped us too, but he really helped us in this area in a totally game-changing way that ended up taking the pressure off this stuff like crazy. So sensual, I was kind of ignorant to her sensual needs, so she was never getting it, so she kind of liked touch, but she is more in the sensual...
Well no, I didn't like touch at all. You would have liked sensual touch if I understood sensual touch, but I wasn't giving you that, so because I was all about sexual all the time, touch in general became like, let's just kind of leave it until this mystical moment happened.
I was like planets, like I see Mark Gunger, yeah he's hilarious, he's one of the funniest dudes ever on this stuff. So for us the sex thing was just like these mystical planets had to align and I could never control that, which was really frustrating, like crazy frustrating.
Then finances, working full-time as a volunteer, raising lots of money for ministries and other things like that, but never bringing anything home. And then directional, Alana, struggling like crazy on that front. So ladies if that was you, I asked this last time, but how sexy would you be feeling on a 1 to 10 scale, how sexy would you be feeling if this was your world?
So babe, what was kind of like the breakthrough, like how did things happen for us to come out of this where there's so much pressure on us?
tearing us apart what because like in the midst of that like in the right in the heart of all
that we we end up having kids and you know you've just breastfed for like five years
so what's the question so how did we start making tracks out of this how do we start
like how did the pressure start coming off how do we start um making like turning these to
our allies instead of our enemies and having them moving towards connection for us rather
than disconnection when when the external pressures are getting greater yeah because
our external pressures are greater now than they've ever been um i think a huge amount of it
was time for for me and um sort of it's been an 11-ish year journey of coming out of burnout
um and i'm still not there but time has greatly helped in that um i think this intellectual side
of stuff has saved us we've had the same flippant conversations so many times it's driving me crazy
but we always had it i like that used to because we haven't had that conversation for a long time
and i think along the way while having that conversation we would talk about that conversation
we would talk to people and um maybe get little bits here and there that would help us move
forward it's been a really slow process yeah um but we've always been willing to
carry on that process and we're never just like okay that's it um yeah and i do think
so this this area here gave us a massive breakthrough i do think too like there's a
whole another level for me of relaxation about all of this benji's quit his job at the end of
the year um we've you know like on leaving here has actually greatly released the pressure on this
we like income wise job security wise all of that kind of stuff doesn't even bother me anymore i'm
just so relaxed about it um i think partly because this directional thing for me
has completely evaporated yeah totally so
yeah this is a great kind of moment for you guys to take a take a bit of a thought for you where's
the um where is the pressure coming from and in judo they always try and use their enemy's momentum
or their opponent's momentum against them um where's where's the greatest pressure coming for
you in your relationship and is there a way for you to get low hanging fruit for us we have really
like sometimes out of literal desperation um gone after tools because sometimes one of your
best motivators is pain like if you for us sometimes literally that's been the best
motivator you might like in your relationship you might need to actually go and see a counselor
that might be what you need it might be what you need before you get married if you're still single
or it might not even be that your relationship's in a real bad place but if you want it to take
it to the next level and this is something that i'm really got a really growing passion about is
that relationships aren't designed just to be struggling like the blueprint that we've been
given is john 17 22 which is all about this uh jesus says you know i have given them the same
glory that the father gave me that they may be one as we are one and this blueprint of extreme
divine romance is the blueprint for uh marriage union it's the blueprint of oneness and for me
this is the exciting journey you know sense of adventure that sense of we're going somewhere
we're dreaming together we're constantly working uh towards something is what the dream for me is
that we get to turn this this graph of our relationship our relationship gets to become
every day more and more momentum towards this extreme divine romance and like it's bliss it's
ecstasy it's awe it's wonder and to me that that dream that picture of what our relationship
can be is like that's worth fighting for that's worth investing for that's worth sacrificing for
uh you know it's just like wow this is not like a small dream you know this is one of the core
central dreams of my life and my my desire is like oh my gosh this is this i want this so much
that's probably a good question for you to ask um as well on a priority side of things
where is divine romance for you on a in in your life when you've got we've got all these
priorities if you had just to give it you know like a 1 to 10 rating 10 being top priority
uh you know one being lowest priority where is this dynamic of having a relationship that
mirrors divine romance where is that on a 1 to 10 scale for you i think for me that would be on 10
like
Which is why we kept having this conversation, I think
and like for us, we were stuck majorly on the sexual thing
and in the beginning it was painful
but as the years went on it got more and more painful
and like as we grind that sore spot
the wound was getting bigger
so if you can get help, get help
because that's the type of thing
where the wound will get so big it won't heal
and it will fall apart.
Yeah, the big three, financial, directional, sexual.
Yeah, so, stitch in time.
Stage nine.
So, this was the classic thing for us.
Here's like a, I'm gonna just blow my nose
for a second there.
Why don't you talk to them and introduce them
to our most awkward conversation
that we've had over and over again?
Like how did it start and what goes down?
So basically, Benji's not getting sex.
He wants it, I don't wanna give it
is probably the, just in its most basic form
and so we're going in the cycle of him wanting sex,
me not wanting to give it, him wanting sex,
me not wanting to give it,
me dreading going to bed at night
because we're gonna have that conversation again
and just going round in circles, not getting anywhere
and Benji wanting to fix it
and me wanting to be heard and understood
and neither of us getting our needs met
and him not getting his needs met.
So, he's not meeting my needs.
My needs not getting met.
So, I'm not meeting his needs
and probably a little bit of stuff you
in each of our attitudes.
What's that?
I don't know.
Do you guys know what that is?
No, that's a vicious circle.
Okay, so, I just wanna share something with you as well
about the emotional intellectual process of that for me
about this conversation is I am,
I, a storm, that's cool,
doing housework is a major aphrodisiac.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
So, one of the conversation,
one of the reasons for this conversation was met with
for me was we have a decision of whether or not
we're gonna punish each other in our relationships
and for me, one of the ways
that I could have punished Alana was to shut down
and not tell her how I'm feeling.
So, for Alana, one of the most painful things
for us was the same conversation
because I would be like,
okay, babe, we gotta talk about this
and at least let's have some understanding.
Let's just chat it through
and so, I would relentlessly bring up the conversation
and just talk about how I was feeling.
So, she hated that conversation
but for me, it was a real,
I mean, this might just be a personal thing for me
but for me, if I was in this place
where one part of me wanted to punish her
for not giving me what I wanted
and then this other part of me was like,
no way, I don't wanna punish her
and so, I'm not gonna shut her out.
I'm not gonna push her away.
I'm gonna choose vulnerability
and I'm gonna choose some of the tools
that we learned here about communication
and I'm just gonna give her,
I'm just gonna let her know,
I'm gonna let her in
and so, that was something for me
that I just really had this desire
to never punish her
to make sure that I really, really tried hard
not to punish her
even if I felt like punishing her
with like, by initiating separation,
even separation that she might not be aware of.
I was just like, I don't wanna punish.
I don't wanna separate.
I don't wanna disconnect
and shut my heart down, shut my feelings down.
I felt like that would be a really slippery slope
if I started going,
I'm not gonna open up with you.
I'm not gonna be vulnerable with you
and to be honest,
that was really, really painful for me
to put away my desire to punish her
and to choose to be really vulnerable
but then have her not interested in the conversation
because I was kind of like,
ah, you don't understand what this is costing me
because that was really painful.
It was really good
and I'm glad that we did that.
I think what I've realized too
is that Benji is a fighter
and I'm a freezer.
So, he would be like fighting
and his fighting was to enter into this conversation
where I was freezed,
where I just literally not say anything.
Most frustrating thing in the world.
Because I didn't have anything new to say
and I would know if I said this,
this would be his rote response.
Like, it was almost like it was...
Her prophetic gift came through.
A drama.
And it was scripted.
Like, I knew exactly how the conversation was gonna go,
so why have it?
Ah, and I was like,
babe, it's about the process.
It's about me being really vulnerable with you
and not being...
met by you looking at me blankly and so that was crazy for me that conversation was just
grinding on that wound making that wound more painful and probably for you too yeah totally so
fast forward because we actually got some really tall good tools that helped win on it and like
i can't underestimate the value of negotiation in your marriage so where did things start happening
for us we had some good stuff on this intellectual stuff but we start we you know talked to
counselors you know we were talking to like spiritual ninjas we're talking to counseling
people um we're learning heaps about emotional stuff we were actually we're constantly learning
in our relationship and i want to say that's something that's really important as well in
your relationship is that you've got to invest in it like that it's like there's so much to it that
man you could train you could get like a degree in being married before you got married
you know so um yeah i think we were constantly talking to people um especially for me on the
spiritual side of things but because everything's so connected if you get one little bit of
breakthrough in one area it's breakthrough for another area um so because we were always wanting
to move forward uh especially in like the spiritual emotional intellectual side we were
always picking up little things even subconsciously that was helping this area so like for me i don't
have any big moments of this happened or these were the steps we took i feel like through gaining
tools there was a gradual unwinding yeah totally i mean it's all about it's all about the pressure
so interestingly even though our external pressure started getting greater and we went
through i don't know like five years of hardly getting any sleep with the kids um even though
we've had the external pressures getting better the internal getting harder the internal pressures
have been getting better because we've taken these boxes off just by like that daily investing
into the relationship and we've made progress in the financial area as well which really helps
um yeah like well yeah we actually we have we've made a stack of we've made a stack of progress in
the financial area which just releases the tension you know so um and then again the
directional thing releasing the tension um but just on the whole um intellectual side of things
it's some tools it's helped the sexual area and also one we just discovered about the value of
having a sensual relationship so there's no expectation of sex yeah totally so um question
for question for you guys do you have you got a sensual relationship let's talk about your
sensual relationship you never hear anyone say hey tell me about your sensual relationship
and because we talk about the five love languages and touch and within a marriage i feel like that
touch is always to do with the sex and for us in the beginning it was and so for me touch was
never safe and always my lowest love language like i would say all the other love languages
but touch wouldn't be on my radar at all but discovering that sensual has meant i actually
do enjoy touch within a certain parameter and that parameter is when there's no expectation
place on that touch totally and so that you're like meeting nailing this area
so just you know just really stewarding our sensual relationship it's going to really set
you up for just a healthier better um sexual relationship as well so we've just been able
to find okay cool some great intellectual stuff here uh oh guys look guys let me give you the
the easiest tip to get your wife to take her top off fast all right so you if you want uh now i'm
pretty sure that guys want to know this because if you want a tip for the fastest way to get your
wife to take her top off right is to go and ask her if she'd like a massage and for me that's
definitely the fastest way to get Lana to take her top off i'm like boom hey babe you want a
massage it's like whoa whoa clothes will start coming off it's awesome so tonight actually Lana's
going to get a massage which is fantastic so i've got the oils out like uh yeah so there'll be nice
oils be nice music playing and uh it's going to be great she'll be getting a massage which is cool
so if you want tips on the fastest way to get your wife to take her top off boom offer a massage
offer a massage and don't expect anything in return because for me that's the biggest thing
that makes touch safe is that there's not that expectation or even manipulation in that touch
yeah um ladies agree or disagree with that do you guys like massages or not like massages
guys what do you think and i never used to like massages because
There would be the expectation afterwards of sex
Because I thought it was romantic so I was like yeah this is gonna go well
So I used to always say no
Yes I don't think so but anyway so boom steward that
And I'll just I'll just say as well you like because we're kind of coming to bring this
to a close you can never underestimate the value of negotiating like whatever it is
the value of negotiating out what are your needs in that area for finances what do you
need to be safe like Alana put her foot down in our relationship and she said if you don't have a
like an income by this date then you have to go and get a job and it's over for your
free ministry stuff um uh hey thanks man very cool so yeah so Alana put a put a timeline on
me for like working for free she said if you don't do that again um if you don't get a job
by this date uh if you don't have an income sort of by this day then you've got to get like quit
your your dreams and go and get a job because you're like a bum I was like okay anyway praise
god yes Jesus had my back and we had income coming in um so negotiate what what area here is the most
got the most pressure negotiate it out what what do you need what does each person need
chat that through if you're struggling to chat then you need to get like this keep your love on
Danny Silk communication skills going down so invest in that as some fight as some like
foundational skills if also external input from people as well who have experience and who can
walk through something with you and be mentoring you and also let me just say as well we've been
set up by religion to have lame marriages because we suck at uh receiving and expressing divine love
but when you're living in this orphan dynamic of living disconnected from god rather than
living with this crazy effortless bliss overwhelmed by divine love radically baptizing glory if you
don't understand that then there's one of your best areas for winning for both both of you and
if you're still single then invest in this like crazy invest in this like crazy um invest in this
like crazy there's just things that you can there's things you can do jump on board with the online
school of sonship we'll be putting more info out here on that as well and actually we've got going
to go deeper on this um seven sacred pathways to intimacy but we're going to be doing that in the
online school of sonship so um negotiate it out talk it out figure out what what it's going to
win for you guys when we did that the first time we negotiated around sex which was our
our big pressure point um we came up with fake agreements which meant um we initially the first
time it was like once a week we're going to have a sexy time of some type type now when you talk
with dave riddell who's 170 an hour to have a conversation with uh about this stuff or anything
if you want to counsel with him it's 170 dollars an hour at least and one of the things he'll say
is that a sex night doesn't have to end in actual intercourse and sex you know it could be
hand jobs it could be oral it could be all sorts of different things it could be like here's a
pillow i don't know anyway um i'm just saying it's all sorts of different things and there's
negotiation around that but he said you know you've got to come to an agreement of what will work and
so we negotiated that out the first time around but then it became a fake agreement now this is
a marriage killer is fake agreements because we came up that one night a week was that was
gonna work but we didn't keep the agreement so when the negotiation turned into a fake agreement
it was worse than the first time so actually our biggest stress moment in our relationship was
actually after we had our marriage like got some marriage counseling because the marriage counseling
gave us good tools but we used them the wrong way and they actually turned into like self-harm
but then we pressed through that and we renegotiated and we renegotiated like okay
well that's not working for either of us let's bring some other things of balance in here and so
um for us it was like i was like man uh ideally in my world at least two nights a week for
sexy times of some sort would be like that would be great that would be awesome that'll be i'll be
happy and so we negotiated around and Lana's like sweet well i need some massage action happening
i want this happening and so finding that happy balance and we've actually found a balance there
but if you don't have it and it might be an awkward conversation like yes no question what
do you think would it be an awkward conversation for you to sit down with your spouse and negotiate
what you want and need in each of these areas you like this church you don't like this church
you like this
City, you don't like this city, you're emotionally burnt out, you're not, you've got enough skills, you don't have enough skills, you're getting enough messages, you're not, you're making enough money, you're making too much money, you're having enough sex, you're not having enough sex.
Would it be awkward if you sat down and negotiated out what each of you want, what your best case scenario would be?
It was awkward for us initially to sit down and negotiate that out, it was beyond awkward, it was absolutely terrible to come up with a fake agreement, so don't do fake agreements, they will cause huge collateral damage and the stress cycle will go BOOM!
But then if you negotiate to an actual genuine agreement, and you can work on it, and it's not exact, we don't measure it in a sense.
Because we negotiated and we came up with an agreement that we both kind of stuck to, now there's almost no agreement, but there's balance and we intuitively know what the other person needs because we've practiced it.
Yeah, it's more organic, so you might feel like, well that's not a divine romance, it's all structured, I tell you what, for us, it might be different for you, but for us it's been great having some structure around agreements and knowing what each other exactly wants.
It's all part of a learning process, and there's a learning, growing process to go through before you can fly.
And so the end result for us is that from healthy agreements, just so much momentum towards intimacy, so much momentum, and I tell you what, you win in one of these seven sacred pathways, you win in all of them because the momentum just starts bringing things together more and more, and so for us, the sense of adventure around our relationship is just amazing.
And I think there's never a point where it's going to stop, it's always going to keep going and getting better and better, there's no end point in sight, and I hope there never is, because I think you're constantly growing and evolving and changing and reassessing and growing.
Totally, so back to that is some of our story, I see Storm here, husband is amazing in every area, but the adventure stuff freaks him out, he likes to plan fun, haha, very cool.
Well, lots of love to all of you beautiful people, and if you've got any questions, let us know. We will be going deeper in the seven sacred pathways to intimacy in the Online School of Sonship, so I'll put the link in the description as well if you want more info about how you can jump on board the Online School of Sonship, we still have some funds available in our $30,000 scholarship fund,
so if you're not in the Online School of Sonship, you should be, because you're going to get heaps more amazing content in there, and you'll be able to get your spiritual ninja, get your sonship going on, for me that was one of the biggest game changers, getting my sonship on, and that rocked our marriage.
So, let me, we'll let us pray, we'll pray for you, if you kick off babe, and then I'll wrap up. Are you willing to start? Yeah, you just go for it. I'll take it away, alright, I'll take it away, there you are, she was just like, nah, you do it.
Sweet, cheers Storm, so anyway Papa, we just thank you for marriages, and we thank you as well that you're redefining what marriage looks like, I just thank you right now for breaking off false images of what marriage is, Papa I thank you for great grace coming upon people who are in the midst of the pressure, I thank you for amazing momentum coming towards intimacy,
Papa I thank you as well for redefining for us what your divine design for marriage looks like, that you would give us eyes to see and ears to hear, that there would be a sense of a restoration in our hearts and restoration in our marriages around divine romance, that there would be, Papa I just ask that in this generation,
you would awaken a dynamic of divine romance and divine love in our marriages and our hearts, so much so that we become the generation with the greatest marriages the world has ever seen, with the greatest expressions of delight in our husbands and wives that the world has ever seen, Papa I just ask that you cause a real explosion, for those that are single, Papa I ask that you just put a vision in their hearts,
I ask that you give them a dream of a relationship that looks the way that you've designed it to be, just founded on that dynamic of that blueprint of divine romance, so Papa we call it in from heaven right now, we call grace, we call favour, we call wisdom, Lord we call breakthrough in on everything,
Remarriage right now cause that shift thing even to take place right now
I'll let Lord around our image of the divine design for marriage
Papa release that grace on us and on this generation for divine romance like never before
Amen, sweet family. We'll catch you again soon
I'll put the link in for the online school of sonship. Follow us deeper. Love you guys very much and
Who knows we might be in a country near you or a town
Near you when we head off on our crazy wild adventure and we're going to do a live about that in the near future as
Well, give me some more dates
Clarify something. Yeah, we'll clarify some of the rumors because there's lots of rumors going around about our family
So we're going to speak into that sweet. Catch you soon. Bye. Bye