Welcome to the last year single challenge.
A lot of you are brand new to me.
You have not known me before.
So if you're new to me, welcome to me.
I'm Jackie D Jackie Dorman, and I believe your love life will be better.
Now.
I am the host of this challenge.
I'm also a.
bestselling author.
Now y'all, you can go get my book, but it's not going to take the
place of this challenge in this program, but you can read it.
You should read it.
It's a bestseller married in 12 months or less.
Um, I am a bestselling author.
I am a coach.
I am an online coach.
I am a dating coach.
I am a relationship advisor.
I also am a matchmaker.
Um, and I have created a, with my team and amazing program called last year single.
And I'm going to tell you all about that today.
A lot of you came here because you saw an ad or one of your
friends or family saw an ad.
And I want to let you know that I didn't start running ads until late 2023.
So I haven't been running ads.
And I only did it because God said to me, Hey, I want you to throw out a larger net.
You know, we were doing just fine with word of mouth.
We have so many success stories.
We get engagement announcements practically every week now.
So our success stories speak for themselves.
Some of the popular podcasts that I've been a guest on speak for themselves.
Um, you know, and I think that that's the most important
thing when you're dealing with.
area of your life is you want to listen to people that have results.
There's a lot of people out there that say that they're dating coaches
or, and a lot of them are men, right?
And they're single men.
That's always really irritated me because I feel like they're single, good looking
men that are telling women how to get men.
And yet no woman has ever got them.
And so it's like, Hmm.
Things that make you go, hmm.
And so when you're dealing with this kind of area of your life or any area where
you really want change, you know, you need to go to someone who has results.
You need to go to someone who's already done what it is that you're trying to do.
And so because of that, because of the, Supernatural results, um, that everything
that we have done in this space has had, we have never run, had to run any ads.
All right.
I used to be heard on the radio, 350 plus radio stations, um, through 21 and 22.
And so it just wasn't a necessity to run ads.
And so I want to let you know that if you saw that ad, it's
because God said, throw out a net.
I want to pull in people that have never heard of this.
Why?
Because God wants his single sons and daughters to succeed at love.
He does.
And I used to say he wants a single sons and daughters married because
I believe that marriage and family is God's maturity plan for mankind.
And I believe that most women are hardwired to want that.
Most women specifically are hardwired to want, um, to partner, to want to, uh,
use their beautiful, nurturing, amazing divine feminine skills in the raising
up of other people, including a family.
And because of that.
We want it.
It's in our DNA.
We divinely desire it.
And I'm going to help you with that.
And I'm going to give you an overview of what these three
days are going to be like.
I know a lot of you maybe have signed up for, let's say a weight loss thing,
or, um, get your hormones in order or get rid of your autoimmune situations.
And you feel like when you sign up for those, you click on that ad.
It's just a whole bunch of rhetoric and they never really give you any answers.
Right?
I call it tees and fees.
So they tease you the entire time and then they charge you some big amount of money
at the end to actually get the information that you joined for in the first place.
Well, I'm going to tell you that is not going to happen here.
In fact, you are going to feel like I'm over, over, over sharing
for most of this challenge.
And so you might want to watch the videos more than once.
So instead of teasing you this three days and not really telling you anything,
I'm going to tell you a lot of things.
In fact, I'm going to tell you pretty much everything that you
need to know during this three days.
It's going to feel like a lot, but it's got, it's the purpose of it is to start to
unlock you to start to shift you because I believe that 2024 will be the last year.
Whatever portion of it that you consider yourself single.
I believe that you will be in a committed life-giving
relationship this year in 2024.
I believe that you can be, I believe that you should be, I believe that
you, that God wants you to be even more than you want to be like.
You're like, Ugh, I, I want this more than God wants it for me.
God's holding out on me.
All of those things are not true, and I'm gonna help you to disconnect from those
lies during this three day challenge.
For those of you that have been asking hey, is this a Christian thing?
Um, I'm a Christian.
And so I think that automatically kind of makes it a faith based thing.
Uh, but I believe that, you know, when we were creative, we were hardwired
with some really specific things.
And so I wouldn't be able to help you to get in touch with your divine design
without talking about God and without.
You know, leaning into what I believe is a supernatural spiritual
experience in this challenge.
And so, if you've never experienced anything like that, just stay open to it.
You know, this is not a proselytizing situation.
No one's going to try to stuff religion down your throat.
I promise you that.
Um, but I am going to help you to reconnect, um, to what it
is that God created you for.
And I don't know if you can hear that, but outside my house in
Austin, Texas, it's raining.
And it's not just raining, it's gully.
Like my grandma would say it's a gully washing out there right now We got a
gully washer going on out right now and I am going to take that as a sign
That we are going to be living in a year of abundance you turn the calendar
page and everything's different now.
And I know that sounds amazing and it's not always true, especially
if we won't get out of our own way, get out of God's way so that we can
step into what he has already pre purposed and pre planned for not just
us, but humanity during that time.
Because why?
Because God is a God of times and seasons.
And I don't know if you're a numbers girl, but I'm a numbers girl.
I, I oftentimes feel like I'm divinely being led by different
numbers and different patterns, and I would love to teach you how to
kind of read the signs in your life because God is always talking to us.
Heaven is always communicating with us, but we don't always know how to hear it.
And I would really love to help you to learn how God is talking to you and how
he's leading you and how he's guiding you, because if God's not leading and
guiding us, what's oftentimes leading and guiding us is our broken heart.
There's a scripture in the word of God in the ancient wisdom is what I call it.
There's a scripture in the word of God that just says that the broken
heart is wickedly deceitful, and it's a puzzle that nobody can figure out.
Right.
And it causes us to become a pretender in our own lives.
Why?
Because trauma doesn't just hurt us.
It creates different versions of us.
And a lot of us are still living out of those counterfeit places in our heart.
And I want to help you disconnect to that and reconnect to that
divine, healthy, feminine heart that you were created to have.
And when you're connected to that, you can actually trust
your heart to lead you as a GPS.
But before that, that broken heart is going to lead you right off a cliff.
That's what's going to happen.
And it's going to happen over and over and over again, lather, rinse, repeat.
And we want to break out of those cycles and out of those patterns, but
we want to recognize It's other cycles and patterns that we need to step into.
And we're going to do some of that work here in these three days.
Obviously we can't do all of that work in three days, but I promise
you that if you show up for all three days of this challenge, you are going
to leave different than you came.
You are, you are going to leave shifted.
You are going to have a release that you haven't experienced before, and there
is going to be a super natural spotlight spotlight on you that you have not.
Notice before, so let's talk about some patterns.
Let's talk about 2024 really quickly because just the numbers themselves
are indicative of open doors.
That number four in Hebrew, it actually is a letter that looks like a open door.
It looks like a door.
And so 2024 is the year of enlightenment.
We're in the twenties.
So we're in the decade of enlightenment.
We're in the decade of kind of like the Renaissance of revival,
you know, restoration, put any reword in there that you want.
And then that 24 is all about doors and not just any kind
of door, but an open door.
It's an open door.
And so I'm calling it the open door to your love story.
And also other things, you know, the love story is just like the cherry on top.
It's not the end all be all.
Okay.
Um, but there's all kinds of abundance as we just heard the rain.
I don't know if you could hear it, but it was crazy.
I was like, am I going to have to shout right now?
And that's all right because I'm taking that 'cause it was not raining when I
came in here to sit down and it just started pouring when I began to speak.
And so I'm going to believe that that is a confirmation of the abundance of 2024.
So for those of you that have felt dry and desolate, you felt like no
good things can grow here anymore.
Your heart has felt like a barren wasteland.
Um, it's time for renewal.
Okay.
The twenties.
Remember that's all about renewal in those rewords.
And then 24 is the open door and always reminds me of that Elsa song,
you know, where she's in a singing at the beginning, love is an open door.
And I know she was singing it with the wrong man.
For those of you that have seen that cartoon and a lot of you
have been singing that with the wrong man too for a long time.
And it's time for you to sing it with the right man.
In fact, that cute little cartoon is actually, um, all about our love lives.
You know, we have this synergy and this chemistry with the wrong people and then
the right people, they're right there like love right in front of our face
and we're missing it the whole time.
I would say, so can things change overnight?
Yes, yes they can.
And you're like, I don't know, Jackie, can they, can they change with
just one flip of the calendar page?
Yeah.
We gotta recognize what the change is.
The change can't just be whatever you want it to be.
So if your question to me is, Hey Jackie, can I have whatever I want in 2024?
The answer to that is no.
But can you have more in 2024?
Yes.
The thing that you wanna do is you wanna get on page with what
God's doing and you wanna do that.
You don't wanna be digging ditches where it's not gonna rain.
You wanna be digging ditches where it is gonna rain, right?
So that you can partner, you can align.
You know, the twos in the year that we're in, all the twenties and all
the twos, that is about alignment.
It's about partnership.
It's about agreement.
So we want to come into agreement with what God's already doing.
That's why we need to know what he's doing and what he's doing right
now is he is doing a new thing.
Amos 9 13 is the banner that God gave me for this movement last year, single.
And it just says that things are going to happen so fast.
That your head is going to spin everywhere.
You look blessings, blessings, blessings, right?
I call it the suddenly scripture because in the message translation,
it says, and suddenly, but you guys, all of us know that suddenly
these aren't really suddenly.
Yeah.
In the moment.
That you're receiving that abundance.
It feels like a suddenly, but we all know that there's been lots of seeds
sown Psalm one 26, they, that go forth weeping bearing precious seed
will no doubt come again, rejoicing, carrying their harvest with them guys.
We're in a harvest time.
These years that we're living in are in a harvest time.
And so my question to you is what do you got in the ground?
What seed have you sown?
What tears have you cried?
Okay, that is going to help us to see what harvest we should
be walking in now in 2024.
So Amos 9, 13, suddenlies, and you're like, privet to me in scripture.
Well, you guys, I'm not a theologian, but all through scripture, you see the phrases
and the language of in due season, it came about when the days were fulfilled.
It happened at the appointed time, right?
So we know that God's a God of times and seasons.
Ecclesiastes tells us there's a time for everything under the sun.
And so it's important that we understand that there are special things set
aside for each one of us individually in 2024, but corporately what God is
doing is he's opening doors corporately.
That's what 2024 looks like.
So you have to And I want you to figure out with God and with
coaches, anointed coaches like myself and my team, what are the doors
that are opening up in your life?
And I believe that one of the doors that is opening up in your
life and all God's single sons and daughters lives is the door of love.
And you guys listen, we've had thousands.
of successful students and 600 of them are already married, 600 plus.
In fact, it's probably maybe, maybe closer to 700.
Now I need to go count.
So thousands of successful students in relationship and in
just 39 months, 600 plus of them are already engaged or married.
You guys, you really can't deny that something supernatural is happening here.
So I threw out that net, I threw out the net, I ran those ads and here you are.
So whether someone else saw it or some other success story sent you
here, some people get sent by their parents, their moms, even their dads.
They're best friends.
Make sure that you come in through JackieDorman.
com so that you can give us your email address because we are going to be talking
to you via email during this entire challenge and you don't want to miss out
on that special bonus content that comes.
So I want you to feel like, Hey, you know what?
I've been out here lost, wandering around in a dry desert of my heart
and God sent out a search team for me.
He sent out a search team for me.
He did.
You're here by divine appointment and we've had story after story
after story, including you guys.
That are posting in your introduction posts saying that I was just praying.
I just got off the phone with some guy who wanted to take me
on a date and then I saw your ad.
And then I heard your name.
And then I heard your voice.
I heard your voice on some podcast.
When I told God I'm sick and tired of being single.
I need this year to be different.
This year has to be different.
I'm just about to give up.
I cannot go on anymore.
That is when I showed up.
Like a mystical magical matchmaking Nanny McPhee.
Here I am.
So I want to get started in telling you guys what is going
to happen in the next three days.
I'm going to give you an overview of our schedule, right?
And I'm going to tell you a little bit about this gift
that God's given me in my life.
I've always been the matchmaker.
I've always been the wing woman.
I've always been the friend that helps you to step into love.
I help 15 of my friends get married.
I've been credited, um, by 15 of my friendships as being the catalyst
for their marriage in one way, shape or form, whether it was matchmaking
them or helping them get out of their own way or whatever that was.
And so I've always had a gift, but ironically my gift came through trauma.
And a lot of us, we have gifts that have developed in us because of not
so good circumstances in our lives.
And we'll talk about that a little bit today.
So here's the schedule.
Day one.
Day one today, God is playing matchmaker.
It's our time.
Why this era that we're living in is so different than ever before and helping
you get some supernatural hope going.
I'm going to start priming the pump on supernatural hope.
It is a gift that I carry.
I'm going to be releasing that over you so that you really feel like,
Hey, I am here by divine appointment.
Heaven has been listening to me and that's how I got here.
You didn't get here on accident.
You didn't get here by yourself.
Yeah, you had to use your free will to come here.
Um, but the invitation was a divine invitation to come.
Day two, we're going to start unpacking some of the junk that's
in the way of the love story.
I call it unpacking your heart boxes, doing your heart work.
We're going to start a little bit of heart work process in day two.
We're going to look at what are the lies that we're believing that
are in the way of our love story.
You guys, you're never stuck on the outside.
You're always stuck on the inside.
Repeat that with me.
You are never stuck on the outside.
I don't care what area, financially, emotionally, relationally, you're
never stuck on the outside.
So when you look around and you tell yourself all these stories
about why this isn't happening for you, none of that's true.
Okay.
That's what you're seeing through filters and blind spots from what
connected to where you're really stuck, which is on the inside.
Okay.
So on day two, we're going to talk about some of those blind spots and filters.
How did they get there?
How can we clean the heart lens and get rid of them?
We're also going to talk about how this is all God's idea.
You didn't just wake up one day and say, Oh, Hey, you know, I want a partner.
I want to be in love.
I want to be married.
No, this is God's idea.
He created us for this.
From the very beginning.
Okay.
So when I say that God wants you married more than you even want
to be married, it's not that he's forcing you or controlling
you because we're modern women.
We don't have to get married, but the desire that's in you comes from him.
It's part of your DNA.
It is.
And I will tell you, I don't love running ads.
I did it out of obedience and I'm glad that you came here through it.
But I get some crazy trolling on these ads.
People get so upset and you would think that it's all the modern women that are
like, women don't need a man, right?
Women need a man.
Like a fish needs a bicycle.
You would think it would be those people, but that is not
who shows up and trolls my ads.
The people that show up and troll my ads are the religious folk.
Okay.
They're the people that show up and say, you know, Paul said
it was better to be single.
You know, you're wrong.
We're not supposed to be married.
In fact, one person went as far as to say that people that
want to be married are weak.
That Paul said very clearly, and they're talking about very misunderstood
scriptures in first Corinthians that I will unpack for you during this
challenge, that it is better to be single that God created us to be.
single and that people that burn with lust and are weak, weak minded, weak
bodied people, that they better go ahead and go get married so they don't sin.
Y'all, that is not what those scriptures say.
That is not what they say.
That's bad teaching.
That's bad theology.
That's theology that people make up to explain why they're
single because they're in pain.
You don't have to make up theology to explain your pain.
God has made provision for you in all the areas of longing that your heart has.
You just have to step into them and believe in that kind of
stuff is going to be a block.
It's going to keep you blocked every day of the week and twice on Sundays.
And so you got to make sure that we are moving out of that and we're going
to do a little bit of that on day two.
We got to do that.
All right.
So just because you've been able to have the grace to stay single for however long
you've been single for, whether you got out of divorce, you needed some time to
heal, whether you've been single all your life and you've just been waiting for
the right partnership, whatever it is, that's a grace that you had for a season.
But the desire that you have to be married is still there during that grace to kind
of get through that single time, right?
And that desire is there because God gave it to you.
He put it there.
And so just because you've been able to white knuckle it through celibacy
does not mean that it's a gift.
And so when I talk about that, I'm going to show you that that word
gift is mistranslated into English.
It's not what it means in the original Greek.
Language that those scriptures were written in, and it is not a gift.
And a lot of people who say, Oh, well, I have the gift of singleness.
It's not a gift that they want, right?
It's a gift that if you got it for your birthday or
Christmas, you would re gift it.
To someone else.
Cause you're like, Oh, I don't want this thing.
You can have it.
Right?
It's not something that you ever asked for.
And therefore that word gift is very misunderstood.
And so I'm going to help you to understand that God gives us the grace
to receive what we're ready for in the seasons that we're ready to receive it.
And I believe that you are in your season to be ready to receive love.
All right.
So if your pendulum has been swinging from doing it your own way because you
think maybe God's holding out on me.
Um, so you've been doing it your own way, but now your pendulum's over here.
You're like, Oh, I did it my own way.
I, it was not good.
And so I'm going to punish myself with celibacy.
Now, I guess this is not for me.
God must not want this for me.
Just so you know, not having sex does not make you holy.
All right.
Sex is a beautiful gift that God gave us.
We just have to have the right outlet for it.
And I'm going to help you to get to a place where you can live out all of
the things that God created you for.
All right.
So what's the purpose of marriage?
We're going to talk about this on day two.
What's God's heart.
He made us male and female for a reason.
Remember, the first marriage started in the Bible.
Genesis 2, 2, 2, he presents Adam.
Um, with Eve and says, Hey, it wasn't good for you to be alone.
So I made you a partner and here you guys go.
But then you, we all know that after the curse, the battle of the
sexes started in that same garden and it's been going on ever since.
So I'm going to help you get rid of the guilt that you feel for
even wanting to be married since it hasn't been happening for you.
All right.
And I'm going to help all of you that think.
If it was going to happen, it would have already happened.
I'm going to help you step out of that and step into the power of a very
small little three letter word yet.
It hasn't happened yet, but it is still going to happen.
And then on day three, see, I told y'all.
Am I going to over deliver?
I am.
You're going to have to watch these sessions over and over again just to
catch all of the little things that are thrown out because I'm a prophetic
teacher and whatever Holy Spirit is saying, I'm going to say, and so it's
going to be different every single time.
Right?
And so day three, spirit mate versus soulmate.
I'm a spirit mate matchmaker.
That's what I specialize in.
And so we want to connect on that spirit mate level and that soulmate level.
And then.
And only then will we have a flesh mate.
Will our bodies get involved in that equation?
Okay, that's the order that you want it in.
Spirit match, check.
Soul match, check.
Body match, check.
Your body should be the thing that at the end is like, Me too.
Me, me, me, me.
I want to get in on this.
I'm attracted.
I want to also be involved in this romance.
Okay?
So we're not going to be wasting our time on men that are not mature,
masculine and marriage minded.
I call them the Peter Pan boys.
We're not going to be, they don't want to grow up.
They're not looking for a wife.
They're looking for a toy and you're not going to be a boy toy anymore.
So why your girlfriend era is over.
What's the biblical law of attraction?
I know that there's a law of attraction.
It's transcendentalism.
I'm very familiar with it but there's also a law of attraction in the Bible
that talks about what we believe we become and what we become we attract
and We're gonna talk about that biblical version of the law of attraction
whether you want someone who is compatible Or you do want someone who's
compatible, but what's the difference between compatible and combustible?
What does that look like?
Cause both of them have high levels of attraction a lot of times.
And so how can we.
Avoid combustible relationships.
And then for those of you that don't want a date, um, you're tired, you
know, um, I want to get you out of the mindset that dating is just for mating.
We're going to talk about our destiny DNA.
We're going to talk about matching purposes and recognizing purpose partners.
Um, and then we're going to get ready to just step into becoming the bride, right?
Whether that is in 2024 or if you're a long engagement girly,
maybe 2025 depending on how long you want it to be engaged for.
Um, but once again, I believe that this can be your last season single
you will be In a relationship that is worthy of your one and only life.
And so that's really important.
All right, so we ready to grab a hold of day one.
Everybody ready?
You guys, I'm so excited.
I'm so excited about this group.
I am.
. I just want to pray over you before we get started.
Father God is pray for your daughters right now.
You have led them and guided them to this place.
You have something so much better for them than they would
ever choose for themselves.
Oftentimes you give us the love that we never knew we even wanted Lord.
And I know this is going to be a time where you're going to help
them to Step out of these places of isolation, these places of hiddenness.
There's grace on their face.
You're going to help them to step into the places that you've
already prepared for them.
The places of abundance, the places where you have open doors ready
and waiting, where they still have the beautiful power to choose.
They're not predestined, but at the same time, they're pre purposed.
They're pre purposed for love in this season.
And we release that over them in Jesus name.
Amen.
All right.
So I'm going to tell you a little bit about me.
All right.
Some of you guys have taken this challenge lots of times, and I
really pray this is the time that you get out of the waiting room.
All right.
You keep sitting yourself there.
God is not putting you there.
He's not.
There are no waiting rooms in the kingdom of God.
None.
You guys, the word wait is not in original scripture.
You're like, yeah, it is Jackie, Psalm, Psalm, Psalm 23, those that wait upon
the Lord will renew their strength.
No, that's English.
The Bible was not written in English.
And I know that all of us English speakers think that we're the only ones out here.
Um, but that word is really misunderstood because us English speakers, when we
hear the word wait, we think, Oh, I'm just going to sit around and wait.
Like in a doctor's waiting room, wait for someone to call my number,
wait for someone to come and get me and tell me that it's my turn.
It's always been your turn.
You guys, it's always been your turn for all the things that you're waiting on.
It's been your turn.
Okay.
Good things don't come to those that wait.
Good things come to those that prepare.
Okay.
That scripture, the original word there, wait, that's been
translated into English is wait.
The original word.
Okay.
In the Hebrew is expectantly prepare.
It doesn't mean trust.
It means to expectantly prepare.
That is what the word means.
It means to prepare in expectation those that expectantly prepare for
what for the Lord's goodness will what they'll receive strength.
Why are they receiving strength?
Because they're preparing for something that they know is going to happen.
You get weak when you think that you're continuously waiting for something
that's never going to show up.
That's a horrible feeling, isn't it?
I hate that.
You know, I lived, I lived my childhood like that.
I can't tell you how many driveways I stood on the end of waiting for some
parent to come and pick me up for a visitation, pick me up and take me to
some kind of practice and they never came.
I can't tell you how many times I stood at the end of the driveway
watching cars go by crying my eyes out because someone was supposed to
be there to help me to do something.
Because I was a dependent, I was a child and no one ever came.
And a lot of you are living in that complex post traumatic stress disorder
of abandonment, of hurt, of pain, of broken promises and broken dreams and
broken people and broken marriages.
I get it, I've been there.
And so when we hear that word wait, a lot of us, that's a trigger.
It's a trigger because I can wait, but is what I'm waiting for ever gonna come?
And that's why that's not what that word means.
My most favorite quote of all time is one from Nelson Mandela and it just says this.
It says, we will never prepare for what we don't believe is really going to happen.
And actually has a word secret in it.
We will never prepare for what we secretly believe is never going to happen.
And that really resonates with me because a lot of us on the outside, we act like
we believe, but deep inside secretly, we don't think it's going to happen for us.
It might happen for somebody else.
Sister Sally over here, but it's not going to happen for us.
And you know how we can tell which, which camp you're in by your
preparation, by your preparation.
That's how, are you preparing?
Are you getting ready?
Is this still a, a maybe, or is it a yes?
That is the thing.
And I want to help you make it a yes.
All right.
So I told you a little bit about my story just now with waiting at the end
of the driveway and you know, but my childhood was like a, A documentary
from National Geographic, you know, where whatever animal is giving birth
is also being watched by predators.
All the lions and the jackals and the hyenas are just waiting for that animal
to be in a vulnerable place so that it can come and, you know, get them.
And I felt like that.
I came out of my mother's womb running for my life.
And that's what happens in those National Geographics, right?
As soon as the mom had the baby, like the mother giraffe.
I'm super tall, so we'll go giraffe.
Uh, kicks the baby.
As soon as it comes out of the womb, like, get up baby.
You gotta run.
You gotta walk.
You gotta be able to go.
Because there's predators out here just waiting to gobble you up.
And that is.
This is the scenario that I was born into.
As soon as I came out of my mother's womb, I was fighting for my life.
I was fighting for my life as soon as I came out.
Right.
And by your pre engagement posts and the challenge of have you
ever had your heart broken?
I see that a lot of you came out of the womb fighting for your life as well.
You did.
My first broken heart was not broken by a man.
Okay.
Like a love interest man.
Okay.
My first broken heart was broken in family.
It was broken by my dad that abandoned my mom when she was
six months pregnant with me.
It was broken by my mom who was chasing after love and all the wrong places and
abandoning us with people that sexually, emotionally, mentally, verbally abused us.
That's where my heart was broken.
That's where my post traumatic stress disorder and relationship stems from.
And for a lot of you, that's true.
You were born surrounded by inherited trauma.
You were right.
In my case, everyone was broken, broken family, broken promises, broken marriages.
The only type of heart that I knew growing up was a broken heart.
The only type of heart that I knew.
And some of you are still living in that.
You're still lather, rinsing and repeating all of that
information from way back then.
And maybe you even believe a lie about loyalty.
Maybe you're still hanging out with all these broken
people in these broken places.
That was me too.
Because it's like, Oh, this is my people.
You know, you had believe a lie about loyalty.
Um, but you have to at some point in time decide to walk through
the open door because misplaced loyalty will keep you stuck.
Remember you're stuck on the inside instead of the outside.
There's all kinds of open doors, but you're gonna have
to leave some people behind.
You are.
You can bless them.
You can believe good things for them, but you can't force them.
You can bring a horse to water, but you can't make them drink, right?
And it's important that you go ahead and move forward.
Some of you, this is a word, listen up.
I haven't released this before on a challenge, so I know that this is a Holy
Spirit moment for somebody out there listening and more than one somebody.
Okay.
Your broken family, while you don't want to leave them and abandon them, so
you keep staying in these broken places where there's nothing for you, they need
a pioneer to volunteer to go forward.
They need someone to go forward so that they can see what it looks like.
So until you walk through those open doors and you become abundant and
you become successful in your life and all different areas, they're
not going to see what it looks like.
And yeah, they're going to be mad at you at first.
Sure.
Right.
People never want anyone to leave, but eventually they're going to
be thankful that you pioneered a new road in your family.
That you were the one that went forward and whatever negatively was running
in your family, it ran out with you.
And now you have charted a new course in which they can walk.
You have cleared a new path so they can walk through, right?
Really important.
And some of you need to do that because your love story and all the other
beautiful stories of abundance God has for you are in a different zip
code than where you are right now.
Um, spiritually and naturally they're in a different zip code.
Maybe they're in a different culture.
Perhaps they're connected to a different race of people than you
were born into a different church family than you grew up in a different
denomination of Christianity.
Um, maybe, um, generational curses, um, that you, that's what you're calling them.
Generational curses.
They keep finding you simply because you're still living next door to them.
People that are still entertaining those curses, you're still
living next door to them.
So it's not easy.
It's not hard.
I should say for them just to come and knock on your door.
All right.
But if you go ahead and you move forward, both emotionally, mentally, physically,
and spiritually, then when that, thing that's been running in your family
tries to show up on your doorstep.
You can say, Oh no, no, you got the wrong address.
You know, you want P Sherman 42 Wallaby way.
You don't want this place.
This is not where you belong.
So we need to have a geographic spiritual shift.
And sometimes just a geographic natural shift.
Um, there were a lot of people that did it before us.
Abraham, Jesus, David, Esther, Ruth, you know, we can go on and on and on
about the people that had to be removed from what is so that they could open the
door to what could be very important.
So I know you love them, but you can't help them the way you are.
All right.
They can't be it if they can't see it.
And you are the person that needs to go forward so that they can see it.
All right.
I did that in my family.
And I will tell you that even though I grew up in a lot of abuse, um, all
of my family now, uh, are saved that and know the Lord and they have really
shifted and changed every one of them.
Every one of them.
Okay.
So some of you have had an amazing childhood.
You were not raised by wolves on the plains of the Serengeti and you're
often wondering, how did I get here?
My parents had been married for 30, 40, 50 years.
How did I get here?
What happened to me?
Well, trauma happens to everyone.
Everyone suffers.
Everybody.
Okay.
Trauma doesn't just hurt us.
Like I said before, it creates different versions of us and then
we get stuck in all these areas.
Those traumatic things that have happened.
Um, they create hard places in our heart.
Right?
Think about wearing a new pair of shoes and it just rubs your
foot raw until there's a blister and then eventually a callus.
Why is there a callus?
Because your foot doesn't want to get hurt anymore.
It's tired of being raw.
It's tired of being, it's tired of bleeding and blistering.
And so it forms heavier skin there to protect it.
And that's what we do too.
When we've been hurt over and over and over and over again.
We Get thicker skin on those areas of our lives to protect ourselves from hurt.
And I want to tell you friends, a marriage minded man for just talking
about marriage and not any of the other upgrades that God has for you.
If we're just talking about romance right now, marriage minded men, men that have
done the work that are looking for wives.
The thing that's most attractive to them is a feminine heart, right?
The thing that's sexiest to them is a healthy healed and
whole heart, not a hard heart.
Okay.
Think about a callous foot.
It's looking all crazy.
It's all crunchy.
Little dinosaur foot.
All right.
Got some bunions, got some corns on it.
No.
If your heart's got all kinds of bunions and corns on it because of all the things
you've been through before, it's time.
Got to get a pedicure.
Got to get a spiritual heart surgery right now.
We want that.
And I know it's going to hurt.
Waking up from that coma that you've been in is going to hurt a little bit.
And you have been, you're numb.
You've been put to sleep.
In fact, some of you are like, I said I was done.
I don't even know how I'm here.
Seriously.
I said, I am done.
I am not trying anymore.
That's it.
And then all of a sudden, here you are in this challenge.
That's because God's awakening your heart.
He's waking you up.
He's like, Oh, you're done.
But how about me now?
It's good that you're done.
But how about me?
I'm not done.
Give me a chance now to show you what could really happen.
It's good stuff, you guys.
Alright, so God is marking you.
I believe that you're all kinsmen redeemers for your family and
that these marriages, some of you are like, man, I've been waiting.
I'm in my 40s, 50s, 60s.
I've never been married.
Well, I believe that your marriage is a kingdom alliance.
I do.
I believe that it's important to your legacy and lineage.
I believe it's going to be amazing.
And yes, I know that you've been waiting for a while for it.
But let's make sure that you get out of those waiting rooms.
Because you know what I said about that.
Alright?
So let's get back to my story.
So, I had all this brokenness in my family.
My mom was married three times before I was ten years old.
Every time to an abusive man.
All kinds of crazy stuff.
I was sent to live in a girl's home by the time I was fourteen.
I was sent away to live in a girl's home and then foster care, couch
surfing, emancipated, ran off with a boy when I was 17 from those,
you know, foster care situations.
Cause they ain't good.
Y'all, if you had a good foster family.
Blessings, but that was not my experience.
And so I was like, I am better off on my own and I will be on my own.
And so by 17 years old, I was off on my own and then I
got married at 20 years old.
Who thinks that sounds like a good idea?
That's a terrible idea, right?
With all that bad information, with all that complex post traumatic
stress disorder, I got married.
And I like to say that I rushed to that altar past more red flags
than the Daytona 500 because I did.
And I saw them, but remember, because of my childhood, that's all that I ever knew.
I didn't know that it was weird.
to have those things.
I didn't know that it was unhealthy to have those things.
I just thought that that's what love looked like.
I had a man shaped hole and I was going to shove a man in it.
That's what I watched every other woman growing up do.
And yeah, those men were not great, but we could fix them.
We could change them.
Right.
We can.
Fixed or hop uppers are not just for houses.
They're also for spouses, right?
That's what we think.
That's what we do.
And so this whole of abandonment and loneliness and wanting
security and all those things, I thought it was a man shaped hole.
Now we do have a man shaped hole, but that's not it.
That's a God shaped hole.
And so two years into that marriage, I was separated, getting a divorce.
And that is when I had my conversion experience.
That is when I met the lover of my soul.
That is when I realized that it was a God shaped hole and not a man shaped hole.
You guys, I had a radical conversion experience in my twenties when I
was separated and getting a divorce.
And so, um, obviously what do you do when you become a good Christian girl?
I went back into that marriage because all the people that were discipling
me after this conversion said that that's what God would want me to do.
And I went back into it and you guys, it never got better and
it was very, very unhealthy.
Okay.
I would take two steps forward and five steps back.
Um, it exacerbated all the mental health issues that I already had from childhood.
In fact, a few times during that marriage, I almost lost my life, but I didn't.
And I'm here.
And you want to know why?
Because I didn't get divorced.
God rescued me.
And for some of you, you need to use that new language.
You're not divorced.
It was a rescue mission.
God looked at you in that marriage of verbal, mental,
emotional, physical, sexual abuse.
And he said, I can't leave her here because if I do, there's going
to be a death, whether it's an emotional death or a mental death.
Sometimes God forbid it's a physical death.
But the bottom line is, is if I leave her here, she's not going to make it.
Those kids are not going to make it.
And so he plucked you up and out and I know that a lot of times it's super
messy how we get plucked out of those places, but it was a rescue mission.
And on the other side of my divorce papers, I began to finally heal, began to
finally heal my disorganized attachment style, all the things that came as self
defect defense mechanisms in childhood.
I began to heal and God began to put into me what I call the heart work.
He began to take me aside and teach me about what.
What's going on inside of me because back then y'all Christians
didn't go to psychologists and therapists and stuff like that.
Thank goodness they do.
Now you can have a therapist as long as you have Jesus and your
therapist has Jesus too, right?
Because you want the right advice and you want the advice from heaven.
But back then there wasn't that kind of stuff.
And so God took me and he taught me this thing that I call the
heart work and it saved my life.
But you guys, I would have disqualified myself.
I would have sat myself in the waiting room.
My pickers broken.
I should broken.
I should never try this again.
Right.
I would have sat there for years, but before the ink was even dry
on those divorce papers, I walked out into my front yard and I met
the man who is now my husband.
We're in 17th year of marriage, you guys.
And I walked out in my front yard before the ink was even
dry on those divorce papers.
And I met my husband.
And before you get all like, Oh, that's not fair.
I want to let you know that the first time I met him, I yelled at him.
I told him off.
Okay.
I didn't cuss him out cause I was a good Christian, but I told him off.
And the reason why was because I thought that an email that I had received
about a convicted sex offender moving into my neighborhood was about him.
He was the only person that I saw moving in.
And so I assumed cause I had a five year old daughter that
that's who this person was.
And when I saw him in his driveway, you know, moving in, I was like,
look, bro, I know who you are.
You better stay away from me and my family.
And I'm not kidding you guys.
That is how I met my husband.
Not too jealous now, right?
But the good news is is that my big head got another chance because another
neighbor who didn't have the same filters and blind spots on her heart
that I did said to me later, Hey, you know, I saw you talking to the new
guy and really what's wrong with you.
She wasn't a Christian and I had been trying to get her to like,
you know, go to church with me.
You know how you Christians are.
It's like, Hey, go to church with me.
And then she witnessed that.
And she was like, Are you even a Christian?
It was really a mess.
And so when I went to apologize to him, cause he was not the sex offender
that moved into my neighborhood, um, we began to become friends.
We began to share carpooling duties cause our kids went to the same
summer program and little by little a relationship developed there.
Because why?
Because if you're hurt in marriage, you'll be healed in marriage.
Hurt in relationship.
God will use relationship to heal you.
If you've been hurting family, God will use family to heal you.
I call it the hair of the dog that bit you.
Alright?
Back in my partying days, if I had a really bad hangover, I would drink
more alcohol in the morning to what?
Get over the hangover.
You need a little bit of whatever tried to poison and kill you in order to heal you.
Just you need the good version of it, right?
Yes, y'all.
I come from, I come from other places.
Okay.
I come from the South side of the kingdom.
All right.
And so just let you know, you're like, Oh my gosh, you drink more
alcohol when you woke up in the morning because you had a hangover.
Yeah, yes.
And if I can be here and I can be successful, 17 years in an
amazing marriage, so can you.
All right.
So yeah, we're whole in Christ.
No one else can do that.
No one else can fill that God shaped hole, but then we're completed our destinies.
Okay.
Our purposes with what, with alignments in marriage.
So whole in Christ aligned and completed in marriage and then healed within family.
Okay.
God has a beautiful restoration plan for you.
And it doesn't just include you and him.
It includes you and a whole host of other characters in your story.
Okay.
So I would have spent a long time in the waiting room.
I really would have.
I was around a lot of religious people that told me, Hey,
you can never get remarried.
You know, there's all kinds of different things that were happening there.
And so I was hiding out, but God was not going to let me,
I walked to my front yard.
I met David.
I did.
And I wish I could tell you that even after we got married, by the
way, we met, I yelled at him eight months later, we were married.
That's right.
We were.
And I wish I could tell you that even after we got married, I let him in.
I let him love me.
You know, I spent the first two years of my marriage trying to get this man
to unchoose me, trying to act out, act a fool, trying to get this man
to abandon me like everybody else had ever abandoned me in my entire life.
And he would not do it.
And one day the Lord spoke to me and he said, Jackie, why are you giving
yourself permission to be a loser?
And I said, God, are you calling me a loser?
And he said, no, you're calling yourself a loser because all you've
ever wanted your entire life was family.
All you ever want your entire life was to be cherished and loved.
And I've given this to you and you are trying to sabotage it.
You are trying to get it to leave you.
And it was true.
I was.
And so part of the work I want to do with you is not only help you to
find your spirit mate and to step into that beautiful relationship,
but to be able to sustain it.
All right.
And not sabotage it and not try to get it to quit you all the time.
It's important.
It's important that you do that work because there's a lot of people that
get divorced in the first couple of years of marriage because they
simply don't know how to be loved.
They don't, they don't know how to be loved.
I wasn't comfortable with victory.
I wasn't.
Okay.
If something good's happening, like what's the catch?
You know, that's where I was, but God's increase in our lives.
The book of Proverbs, the book of wisdom says that it comes without sorrow,
meaning that God doesn't want to give you something that you're not ready for.
And that's why I stopped waiting and let's prepare so you can
get ready for it because he doesn't want you to sabotage it.
We don't give our keys to our cars, to our five year old kids when they're
older and they're ready to handle that responsibility and they're not going
to hurt themselves or someone else.
then we allow them to have that.
We always want them to have it.
They're just not ready to have it.
And a good father, your good father in heaven is watching you
and seeing what you can handle.
So it's not about being in the right time.
The right place, the right time.
Like a lot of you are like, well, if I could just meet them, you know,
I seem to go to all these events and make sure that I run into them.
No, it's about bringing the right place, the right time with the right heart.
That is what it's about.
And that's the secret sauce of why we have so many hundreds and hundreds
and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of engagements
and marriages in just 39 months.
You guys, not in 10 years.
All right.
So that is why, because that is the secret sauce.
Okay.
All right.
So I want to help you get out of your own way.
Get out of God's way.
The first scripture that I want to give you for this entire
challenge is Jeremiah 6, 16.
I'm going to paraphrase it for you.
It basically says the ancient of days, God has ancient ways.
And a lot of us are sick of the modern ways.
Modern dating sucks.
We don't like it.
We want God's ancient ways.
And it goes on to say in that scripture that if we will ask the
ancient of days for his ancient ways, then he will show us the good path.
To walk in so that what so that our peace can increase and that word peace and
that scripture is a word shalom Which means to devour chaos and confusion and
a lot of you have had nothing but chaos and confusion in your love lives whether
that's in broken bad toxic relationships or no relationship at all, which is why
there's confusion and shalom Wants to come into this area of your life So that you
can take the good path, the ancient path.
And I believe that matchmaking is part of that.
I believe community based matchmaking, which is what we do here in last year's
single is part of that and step out of all of that chaos and confusion.
Okay.
All right.
And we're going to talk about all kinds of things as we go forward,
all kinds of things, but I want to go ahead and give you some homework to do.
All right.
First of all, Today is about surrender.
It's about surrendering to the idea that God's divinely sent you here.
It's about surrendering that God has sent a coach that has wisdom from heaven, uh,
that you need for this area of your life.
It's about understanding that you're here out of obedience.
I'm here out of obedience, but none of us are here out of coincidence.
All right.
And so I have a very super natural, um, permission slip for you.
That I would love for you to, um, not just read over yourself, but
I want you to verbally sign it.
I want you to verbally give God permission, um, to take control of this
time in your life, this area of your life.
You can print it out.
You can actually sign it.
If you want to go all the way in that way, you're like, Hey, I'm going all
the way and I'm going to sign this.
I'm going to put my little signature on it to let God know I'm serious.
I mean business, all right?
Okay, because we're surrendering to what?
That better way, that good path.
That is what we're surrendering to, all right?
So I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to pray it.
I'm going to read it over you.
All right.
And if you're in agreement with it, then just go ahead and grab ahold
of it and be in agreement with it.
But I want you to do it yourself as well.
And so, and then show up and tell us the supernatural things that start
happening after you grant God permission.
I know that we think God is sovereign and he is sovereign,
but he's also not in control.
He's decided to give us control.
We have that the power of choice.
We have this gift called free will.
And so I want you to surrender your free will in this area of your life to God.
With the, you know, with the understanding that you're going to be obedient to
whatever it is that he tells you to do.
Because he doesn't want you to stay stuck here anymore, and I know
that you don't want to be stuck.
All right, and so after I read this, um, we're going to go
ahead and let you go for the day.
Make sure that you do this homework, go ahead and read this over yourself.
Invite your friends, make sure that they go through JackieDorman.
com.
Otherwise they will not get our emails and they'll be very confused.
. Anything that really resonated with you, anything that you're feeling, you know,
that juice from heaven on and let's go ahead and get this party started.
Father God, go ahead and shut your eyes if it's appropriate for where you are.
Just go ahead and allow this to get into your spirit.
I give you permission to search me.
and to reveal anything in my heart that does not belong
to my true feminine identity.
Anything that is hindering me from living the big, beautiful
life you created me to live.
Holy Spirit, I invite you into the darkest areas of my heart.
Show me the areas that are still wounded and still hurting.
The areas that are holding me back from fully giving and receiving love.
When you reveal these broken places to me, I covenant with you.
to release them into your care and to respond with forgiveness and repentance.
I set aside this season of my life for a time of healing and
wholeness and I ask the Holy Spirit to take charge of this process.
I ask that you dwell with me and in me.
I need you.
I cannot heal myself.
I want to be free from the past, free to be who I truly am.
Help me to become the amazing woman you've created me to be.
Show me the lies I believed about myself, men, marriage, even the
lies I have believed about you.
Teach me the greater truth, teach me your ways, teach me how to love,
and teach me how to live abundantly.
And then friends, my favorite prayer that I've been praying for many,
many years, and it's very simple.
Teach me, show me, heal me, and grow me.
Amen.
All right.
Thanks for joining us live for the first day.
And I hope to see you back live tomorrow.
If not watch the replay and we'll see you soon.
Bye everyone.